Named characters

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

113 home/Home
89 the house/The house/the House
81 the room/The room
36 there/There
33 here/Here
27 upstairs/Upstairs
26 church/Church
23 the kitchen
19 the parlour
19 the garden/The garden

GPE

32 the town
8 the place
7 the county
7 there
7 town
4 the village
2 the county - town
2 the hamlet
2 this place
2 the country

LOC

57 the world/The world
8 the earth/The earth
6 the country
6 the stream
6 the hills
6 earth
6 the sands/The sands
5 the river/The river
5 the sea/The sea
5 the hill/The hill

PER

104 sir/Sir
67 her father/Her father
57 his mother/His mother
55 her brother/Her brother
46 his sister/His sister
43 her child/Her child
38 her mother/Her mother
37 ma'am
36 papa
31 my dear/My dear

ORG

6 the Insurance Company
4 the firm
3 the Insurance Office
2 the Establishment
2 the Star Insurance Company
1 my agency
1 the army of Christ
1 your firm
1 that confounded Insurance Company
1 any company

VEH

12 the carriage
10 the coach/The coach
2 a carriage/A carriage
2 the car
2 the Dover coach/The Dover coach
1 their own sedans
1 The broad unwieldy carriages
1 his carriage
1 any pleasure - boats that could float on
1 his boat

Text

CHAPTER I [[The Dressmaker]_{288-the dressmaker} 's Apprentice at Work]_{289-the dressmaker 's apprentice at work} There is [an assize - town in [one of the eastern counties]_{291-one of the eastern counties} which was much distinguished by [the Tudor sovereigns]_{292-the tudor sovereigns} , and , in consequence of [their]_{292-the tudor sovereigns} favour and protection]_{290-an assize - town in one of the eastern counties which was much distinguished by the tudor sovereigns , and , in consequence of their favour and protection} , attained a degree of importance that surprises [the modern traveller]_{293-the modern traveller} . A hundred years ago [its]_{290-an assize - town in one of the eastern counties which was much distinguished by the tudor sovereigns , and , in consequence of their favour and protection} appearance was that of picturesque grandeur . [The old houses]_{294-the old houses} , which were the temporary residences of such of [the county]_{295-the county} - families as contented [themselves]_{294-the old houses} with the gaieties of [a provincial town]_{296-a provincial town} , crowded [the streets]_{297-the streets} and gave [them]_{297-the streets} the irregular but noble appearance yet to be seen in [the cities of [Belgium]_1-belgium]_{298-the cities of belgium} . The sides of [the streets]_{297-the streets} had a quaint richness , from the effect of the gables , and the stacks of chimneys which cut against the blue sky above ; while , if the eye fell lower down , the attention was arrested by all kinds of projections in the shape of [balcony]_300-balcony and oriel ; and it was amusing to see the infinite variety of windows that had been crammed into the walls long before [Mr Pitt]_{72-mr pitt} 's days of taxation . [The streets below]_{301-the streets below} suffered from all these projections and advanced stories above ; [they]_{301-the streets below} were dark , and ill - paved with large , round , jolting pebbles , and with no side - path protected by kerb - stones ; there were no lamp - posts for long winter nights ; and no regard was paid to the wants of [the middle class]_{302-the middle class} , who neither drove about in coaches of [their]_{302-the middle class} own , nor were carried by [[their]_{302-the middle class} own men]_{303-their own men} in [[their]_{302-the middle class} own sedans]_{304-their own sedans} into [the very halls of [[their]_{302-the middle class} friends]_{306-their friends}]_{305-the very halls of their friends} . [The professional men]_{307-the professional men} and [[their]_{307-the professional men} wives]_{308-their wives} , [the shopkeepers]_{309-the shopkeepers} and [[their]_{307-the professional men} spouses]_{310-their spouses} , and [all such people]_{311-all such people} , walked about at considerable peril both night and day . [The broad unwieldy carriages]_{312-the broad unwieldy carriages} hemmed [them]_{312-the broad unwieldy carriages} up against [the houses]_{313-the houses} in [the narrow streets]_{314-the narrow streets} . [The inhospitable houses]_{315-the inhospitable houses} projected [their]_{315-the inhospitable houses} flights of steps almost into the carriage - way , forcing [pedestrians]_{316-pedestrians} again into the danger [they]_{316-pedestrians} had avoided for twenty or thirty paces . Then , at night , the only light was derived from the glaring , flaring oil - lamps hung above the doors of [the more aristocratic mansions]_{317-the more aristocratic mansions} ; just allowing space for [the passers - by]_{318-the passers - by} to become visible , before [they]_{316-pedestrians} again disappeared into the darkness , where it was no uncommon thing for [robbers]_319-robbers to be in waiting for [[their]_319-robbers prey]_{320-their prey} . The traditions of those bygone times , even to the smallest social particular , enable [one]_321-one to understand more clearly the circumstances which contributed to the formation of character . The daily life into which [people]_322-people are born , and into which [they]_322-people are absorbed before [they]_322-people are well aware , forms chains which only [one in a hundred]_{323-one in a hundred} has moral strength enough to despise , and to break when the right time comes -- when an inward necessity for independent individual action arises , which is superior to all outward conventionalities . Therefore it is well to know what were the chains of daily domestic habit which were the natural leading - strings of [[our]_324-our forefathers]_{325-our forefathers} before [they]_{325-our forefathers} learnt to go alone . The picturesqueness of [those ancient streets]_{326-those ancient streets} has departed now . [The Astleys]_{73-the astleys} , [the Dunstans]_{74-the dunstans} , the [Waverhams]_2-waverhams -- names of power in [that district]_{327-that district} -- go up duly to [London]_3-london in the season , and have sold [[their]_{325-our forefathers} residences in [the county - town]_{329-the county - town}]_{328-their residences in the county - town} fifty years ago , or more . And when [the county - town]_{329-the county - town} lost [its]_{329-the county - town} attraction for [the Astleys]_{73-the astleys} , [the Dunstans]_{74-the dunstans} , [the Waverhams]_2-waverhams , how could it be supposed that [the Domvilles]_{76-the domvilles} , [the Bextons]_{77-the bextons} , and [the Wildes]_{331-the wildes} would continue to go and winter [there]_332-there in [[their]_{325-our forefathers} second - rate houses]_{333-their second - rate houses} , and with [their]_{325-our forefathers} increased expenditure ? So [the grand old houses]_{334-the grand old houses} stood empty awhile ; and then [speculators]_{335-speculators} ventured to purchase , and to turn [the deserted mansions]_{336-the deserted mansions} into [many smaller dwellings]_{337-many smaller dwellings} , fitted for [professional men]_{338-professional men} , or even ( bend [your]_339-your ear lower , lest the shade of [Marmaduke]_78-marmaduke , [first Baron Waverham]_{79-first baron waverham} , hear ) into [shops]_340-shops ! Even that was not so very bad , compared with the next innovation on the old glories . [The shopkeepers]_{309-the shopkeepers} found out that [the once fashionable street]_{342-the once fashionable street} was dark , and that the dingy light did not show off [their]_{309-the shopkeepers} goods to advantage ; [the surgeon]_{343-the surgeon} could not see to draw [[his]_{343-the surgeon} patient]_{344-his patient} 's teeth ; [the lawyer]_{345-the lawyer} had to ring for candles an hour earlier than [he]_{345-the lawyer} was accustomed to do when living in [a more plebeian street]_{346-a more plebeian street} . In short , by mutual consent , the whole front of one side of [the street]_{347-the street} was pulled down , and rebuilt in the flat , mean , unrelieved style of [George]_80-george [the Third]_{348-the third} . The body of [the houses]_{313-the houses} was too solidly grand to submit to alteration ; so [people]_322-people were occasionally surprised , after passing through [a commonplace - looking shop]_{351-a commonplace - looking shop} , to find [themselves]_322-people at the foot of [a grand carved oaken staircase , lighted by a window of stained glass , storied all over with armorial bearings]_{352-a grand carved oaken staircase , lighted by a window of stained glass , storied all over with armorial bearings} . Up [such a stair]_{353-such a stair} -- past such a window ( through which the moonlight fell on [her]_354-her with a glory of many colours)--Ruth [Hilton]_81-ruth passed wearily one January night , now many years ago . [I]_0-i call it night ; but , strictly speaking , it was morning . Two o'clock in the morning chimed forth the old bells of [St Saviour 's]_{4-st saviour 's} . And yet [more than a dozen girls]_{355-more than a dozen girls} still sat in [the room into which [Ruth]_81-ruth entered]_{356-the room into which ruth entered} , stitching away as if for very life , not daring to gape , or show any outward manifestation of sleepiness . [They]_{355-more than a dozen girls} only sighed a little when [Ruth]_81-ruth told [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} the hour of the night , as the result of [her]_81-ruth errand ; for [they]_{355-more than a dozen girls} knew that , stay up as late as [they]_{355-more than a dozen girls} might , the work - hours of the next day must begin at eight , and [their]_{355-more than a dozen girls} young limbs were very weary . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} worked away as hard as any of [them]_{355-more than a dozen girls} ; but [she]_{82-mrs mason} was older and tougher ; and , besides , the gains were [hers]_{82-mrs mason} . But even [she]_{82-mrs mason} perceived that some rest was needed . " [Young ladies]_{4121-young ladies} ! there will be an interval allowed of half an hour . Ring the bell , [Miss Sutton]_{83-miss sutton} . [Martha]_84-martha shall bring [you]_{4121-young ladies} up some bread and cheese and beer . [You]_{4121-young ladies} will be so good as to eat it standing -- away from the dresses -- and to have [your]_{4121-young ladies} hands washed ready for work when [I]_{82-mrs mason} return . In half an hour , "_{[82-mrs mason]} said [she]_{82-mrs mason} once more , very distinctly ; and then [she]_{82-mrs mason} left [the room]_{357-the room} . It was curious to watch [the young girls]_{358-the young girls} as [they]_{358-the young girls} instantaneously availed [themselves]_{358-the young girls} of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's absence . [One fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel]_{359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel} laid [her]_{359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel} head on [her]_{359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel} folded arms and was asleep in a moment ; refusing to be wakened for [her]_{359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel} share in the frugal supper , but springing up with a frightened look at the sound of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's returning footstep , even while it was still far off on the echoing stairs . [Two or three others]_{360-two or three others} huddled over the scanty fireplace , which , with every possible economy of space , and no attempt whatever at anything of grace or ornament , was inserted in the slight , flat - looking wall , that had been run up by [the present owner of [the property]_{362-the property}]_{361-the present owner of the property} to portion off this division of [the grand old drawing - room of [the mansion]_{364-the mansion}]_{363-the grand old drawing - room of the mansion} . [Some]_365-some employed the time in eating [their]_365-some bread and cheese , with as measured and incessant a motion of the jaws ( and almost as stupidly placid an expression of countenance ) , as [you]_366-you may see in cows ruminating in the first meadow [you]_366-you happen to pass . [Some]_365-some held up admiringly the beautiful ball - dress in progress , while [others]_368-others examined the effect , backing from the object to be criticised in the true artistic manner . [Others]_368-others stretched [themselves]_368-others into all sorts of postures to relieve the weary muscles ; [one or two]_{370-one or two} gave vent to all the yawns , coughs , and sneezes that had been pent up so long in the presence of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} . But [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth sprang to the large old window , and pressed against it as a bird presses against the bars of its cage . [She]_81-ruth put back the blind , and gazed into the quiet moonlight night . It was doubly light -- almost as much so as day -- for everything was covered with the deep snow which had been falling silently ever since the evening before . The window was in a square recess ; the old strange little panes of glass had been replaced by those which gave more light . A little distance off , the feathery branches of a larch waved softly to and fro in the scarcely perceptible night - breeze . Poor old larch ! the time had been when it had stood in [a pleasant lawn]_{371-a pleasant lawn} , with the tender grass creeping caressingly up to its very trunk ; but now [the lawn]_{372-the lawn} was divided into [yards]_373-yards and squalid back premises , and the larch was pent up and girded about with flag - stones . The snow lay thick on its boughs , and now and then fell noiselessly down . [The old stables]_{374-the old stables} had been added to , and altered into [a dismal street of [mean - looking houses]_{376-mean - looking houses} , back to back with [the ancient mansions]_{377-the ancient mansions}]_{375-a dismal street of mean - looking houses , back to back with the ancient mansions} . And over all these changes from grandeur to squalor , bent down the purple heavens with their unchanging splendour ! [Ruth]_81-ruth pressed [her]_81-ruth hot forehead against the cold glass , and strained [her]_81-ruth aching eyes in gazing out on the lovely sky of a winter 's night . The impulse was strong upon [her]_81-ruth to snatch up a shawl , and wrapping it round [her]_81-ruth head , to sally forth and enjoy the glory ; and time was when that impulse would have been instantly followed ; but now , [Ruth]_81-ruth 's eyes filled with tears , and [she]_81-ruth stood quite still , dreaming of the days that were gone . [Some one]_{378-some one} touched [her]_81-ruth shoulder while [her]_81-ruth thoughts were far away , remembering past January nights , which had resembled this , and were yet so different . " [Ruth]_81-ruth , [love]_4122-love , "_{[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing]} whispered [a girl who had unwillingly distinguished [herself]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} by a long hard fit of coughing]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} , " come and have some supper . [You]_81-ruth do n't know yet how it helps [one]_321-one through the night . "_{[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing]} " One run -- one blow of the fresh air would do [me]_81-ruth more good , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Not such a night as this , "_{[380-the other]} replied [the other]_{380-the other} , shivering at the very thought . " And why not such a night as this , [Jenny]_85-jenny ? "_[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Oh ! at [home]_4124-home [I]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} have many a time run up [the lane]_{4125-the lane} all the way to [the mill]_{4126-the mill} , just to see the icicles hang on the great wheel ; and when [I]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} was once out , [I]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} could hardly find in [my]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} heart to come in , even to [mother]_4127-mother , sitting by the fire;--even to [mother]_4127-mother , "_{[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing]} [she]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} added , in a low , melancholy tone , which had something of inexpressible sadness in it . " Why , [Jenny]_85-jenny ! "_{[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing]} said [she]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} , rousing [herself]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} , but not before [her]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} eyes were swimming with tears , " own , now , that [you]_85-jenny never saw [those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there]_{4129-those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there} look half so -- what shall [I]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} call [them]_{4129-those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there} ? almost beautiful -- as they do now , with that soft , pure , exquisite covering ; and if [they]_{4129-those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there} are so improved , think of what trees , and grass , and ivy must be on such a night as this . "_{[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing]} [Jenny]_85-jenny could not be persuaded into admiring the winter 's night , which to [her]_85-jenny came only as a cold and dismal time , when [her]_85-jenny cough was more troublesome , and the pain in [her]_85-jenny side worse than usual . But [she]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} put [her]_{379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing} arm round [Ruth]_81-ruth 's neck , and stood by [her]_81-ruth , glad that [the orphan apprentice]_{381-the orphan apprentice} , who was not yet inured to the hardship of [[a dressmaker]_{382-a dressmaker} 's workroom]_{383-a dressmaker 's workroom} , should find so much to give [her]_85-jenny pleasure in such a common occurrence as a frosty night . [They]_384-they remained deep in separate trains of thought till [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's step was heard , when each returned , supperless but refreshed , to [her]_85-jenny seat . [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's place]_{385-ruth 's place} was the coldest and the darkest in [the room]_{357-the room} , although [she]_81-ruth liked [it]_{385-ruth 's place} the best ; [she]_81-ruth had instinctively chosen [it]_{385-ruth 's place} for the sake of the wall opposite to [her]_81-ruth , on which was a remnant of the beauty of [the old drawing - room]_{387-the old drawing - room} , which must once have been magnificent , to judge from the faded specimen left . It was divided into panels of pale sea - green , picked out with white and gold ; and on these panels were painted -- were thrown with the careless , triumphant hand of [a master]_{388-a master} -- the most lovely wreaths of flowers , profuse and luxuriant beyond description , and so real - looking , that [you]_389-you could almost fancy [you]_389-you smelt their fragrance , and heard the south wind go softly rustling in and out among the crimson roses -- the branches of purple and white lilac -- the floating golden - tressed laburnum boughs . Besides these , there were stately white lilies , sacred to the Virgin -- hollyhocks , fraxinella , monk's - hood , pansies , primroses ; every flower which blooms profusely in [charming old - fashioned country gardens]_{390-charming old - fashioned country gardens} was there , depicted among its graceful foliage , but not in the wild disorder in which [I]_0-i have enumerated them . At the bottom of the panel lay a holly - branch , whose stiff straightness was ornamented by a twining drapery of English ivy and mistletoe and winter aconite ; while down either side hung pendant garlands of spring and autumn flowers ; and , crowning all , came gorgeous summer with the sweet musk - roses , and the rich - coloured flowers of June and July . Surely [Monnoyer]_86-monnoyer , or whoever [the dead and gone artist]_{391-the dead and gone artist} might be , would have been gratified to know the pleasure [his]_86-monnoyer handiwork , even in its wane , had power to give to the heavy heart of [a young girl]_{392-a young girl} ; for [they]_393-they conjured up visions of other sister - flowers that grew , and blossomed , and withered away in [[her]_81-ruth early home]_{394-her early home} . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} was particularly desirous that [[her]_{82-mrs mason} workwomen]_{395-her workwomen} should exert [themselves]_{395-her workwomen} to - night , for , on the next , the annual hunt - ball was to take place . It was the one gaiety of [the town]_{396-the town} since the assize - balls had been discontinued . Many were the dresses [she]_{82-mrs mason} had promised should be sent [home]_4124-home " without fail "_{[82-mrs mason]} the next morning ; [she]_{82-mrs mason} had not let one slip through [her]_{82-mrs mason} fingers , for fear , if it did , it might fall into the hands of [the rival dressmaker , who had just established [herself]_{398-the rival dressmaker , who had just established herself in the very same street} in [the very same street]_{399-the very same street}]_{398-the rival dressmaker , who had just established herself in the very same street} . [She]_{82-mrs mason} determined to administer a gentle stimulant to [the flagging spirits]_{400-the flagging spirits} , and with a little preliminary cough to attract attention , [she]_{82-mrs mason} began : " [I]_{82-mrs mason} may as well inform [you]_4130-you , [young ladies]_{4121-young ladies} , that [I]_{82-mrs mason} have been requested this year , as on previous occasions , to allow [some of [[my]_{82-mrs mason} young people]_{4133-my young people}]_{4132-some of my young people} to attend in [the ante - chamber of [the assembly - room]_{4135-the assembly - room}]_{4134-the ante - chamber of the assembly - room} with sandal ribbon , pins , and such little matters , and to be ready to repair any accidental injury to [the ladies]_{4136-the ladies} ' dresses . [I]_{82-mrs mason} shall send four -- of [the most diligent]_{4137-the most diligent} . "_{[82-mrs mason]} [She]_{82-mrs mason} laid a marked emphasis on the last words , but without much effect ; they were too sleepy to care for any of [the pomps and vanities]_{401-the pomps and vanities} , or , indeed , for any of the comforts of [this world]_{402-this world} , excepting one sole thing -- [their]_403-they beds . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} was [a very worthy woman]_{404-a very worthy woman} , but , like [many other worthy women]_{405-many other worthy women} , [she]_{82-mrs mason} had [her]_{82-mrs mason} foibles ; and one ( very natural to [her]_{82-mrs mason} calling ) was to pay an extreme regard to appearances . Accordingly , [she]_{82-mrs mason} had already selected in [her]_{82-mrs mason} own mind the [four girls who were most likely to do credit to the " establishment]_{4138-four girls who were most likely to do credit to the " establishment} ; "_{[82-mrs mason]} and these were secretly determined upon , although it was very well to promise the reward to [the most diligent]_{4137-the most diligent} . [She]_{82-mrs mason} was really not aware of the falseness of this conduct ; being [an adept in that species of sophistry with which [people]_322-people persuade [themselves]_322-people that what [they]_322-people wish to do is right]_{407-an adept in that species of sophistry with which people persuade themselves that what they wish to do is right} . At last there was no resisting the evidence of weariness . [They]_403-they were told to go to bed ; but even that welcome command was languidly obeyed . Slowly [they]_403-they folded up [their]_403-they work , heavily [they]_403-they moved about , until at length all was put away , and [they]_403-they trooped up [the wide , dark staircase]_{409-the wide , dark staircase} . " Oh ! how shall [I]_81-ruth get through five years of these terrible nights ! in [that close room]_{4139-that close room} ! and in that oppressive stillness ! which lets every sound of the thread be heard as it goes eternally backwards and forwards , "_[81-ruth] sobbed out [Ruth]_81-ruth , as [she]_81-ruth threw [herself]_81-ruth on [her]_81-ruth bed , without even undressing [herself]_81-ruth . " Nay , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth know it wo n't be always as it has been to - night . [We]_403-they often get to bed by ten o'clock ; and by - and - by [you]_81-ruth wo n't mind the closeness of [the room]_{357-the room} . [You]_81-ruth 're worn out to - night , or [you]_81-ruth would not have minded the sound of the needle ; [I]_85-jenny never hear it . Come , let [me]_85-jenny unfasten [you]_81-ruth , "_[85-jenny] said [Jenny]_85-jenny . " What is the use of undressing ? [We]_403-they must be up again and at work in three hours . "_[85-jenny] " And in those three hours [you]_81-ruth may get a great deal of rest , if [you]_81-ruth will but undress [yourself]_81-ruth and fairly go to bed . Come , love . "_[85-jenny] [Jenny]_85-jenny 's advice was not resisted ; but before [Ruth]_81-ruth went to sleep , [she]_81-ruth said : " Oh ! [I]_81-ruth wish [I]_81-ruth was not so cross and impatient . [I]_81-ruth do n't think [I]_81-ruth used to be . "_[81-ruth] " No , [I]_85-jenny am sure not . [Most new girls]_{4141-most new girls} get impatient at first ; but it goes off , and [they]_{4141-most new girls} do n't care much for anything after awhile . [Poor child]_{4142-poor child} ! [she]_{4142-poor child} 's asleep already , "_[85-jenny] said [Jenny]_85-jenny to [herself]_85-jenny . [She]_85-jenny could not sleep or rest . The tightness at [her]_85-jenny side was worse than usual . [She]_85-jenny almost thought [she]_85-jenny ought to mention it in [her]_85-jenny letters [home]_4124-home ; but then [she]_85-jenny remembered the premium [[her]_85-jenny father]_{411-her father} had struggled hard to pay , and [the large family , younger than [herself]_85-jenny]_{412-the large family , younger than herself} , that had to be cared for , and [she]_85-jenny determined to bear on , and trust that when the warm weather came both the pain and the cough would go away . [She]_85-jenny would be prudent about [herself]_85-jenny . What was the matter with [Ruth]_81-ruth ? [She]_81-ruth was crying in [her]_81-ruth sleep as if [her]_81-ruth heart would break . Such agitated slumber could be no rest ; so [Jenny]_85-jenny wakened [her]_81-ruth . " [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_[85-jenny] " Oh , [Jenny]_85-jenny ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , sitting up in bed , and pushing back the masses of hair that were heating [her]_81-ruth forehead , " [I]_81-ruth thought [I]_81-ruth saw [mamma]_4143-mamma by the side of the bed , coming , as [she]_4143-mamma used to do , to see if [I]_81-ruth were asleep and comfortable ; and when [I]_81-ruth tried to take hold of [her]_4143-mamma , [she]_4143-mamma went away and left [me]_81-ruth alone -- [I]_81-ruth do n't know where ; so strange ! "_[81-ruth] " It was only a dream ; [you]_81-ruth know [you]_81-ruth 'd been talking about [her]_4143-mamma to [me]_85-jenny , and [you]_81-ruth 're feverish with sitting up late . Go to sleep again , and [I]_85-jenny 'll watch , and waken [you]_81-ruth if [you]_81-ruth seem uneasy . "_[85-jenny] " But [you]_81-ruth 'll be so tired . Oh , dear ! dear ! "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth was asleep again , even while [she]_81-ruth sighed . Morning came , and though [their]_413-their rest had been short , [the girls]_{414-the girls} arose refreshed . " [Miss Sutton]_{83-miss sutton} , [Miss Jennings]_{87-miss jennings} , [Miss Booth]_{88-miss booth} , and [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} , [you]_81-ruth will see that [you]_81-ruth are ready to accompany [me]_{415-one or two of the girls} to [the shire - hall]_{4144-the shire - hall} by eight o'clock . "_{[415-one or two of the girls]} [One or two of the girls]_{415-one or two of the girls} looked astonished , but [the majority]_{416-the majority} , having anticipated the selection , and knowing from experience the unexpressed rule by which it was made , received it with the sullen indifference which had become [their]_413-their feeling with regard to most events -- a deadened sense of life , consequent upon [their]_413-their unnatural mode of existence , [their]_413-their sedentary days , and [their]_413-their frequent nights of late watching . But to [Ruth]_81-ruth it was inexplicable . [She]_81-ruth had yawned , and loitered , and looked off at the beautiful panel , and lost [herself]_81-ruth in thoughts of [home]_4124-home , until [she]_81-ruth fully expected the reprimand which at any other time [she]_81-ruth would have been sure to receive , and now , to [her]_81-ruth surprise , [she]_81-ruth was singled out as [one of the most diligent]_{418-one of the most diligent} ! Much as [she]_81-ruth longed for the delight of seeing [the noble shire - hall]_{419-the noble shire - hall} -- the boast of [the county]_{295-the county} -- and of catching glimpses of [the dancers]_{421-the dancers} , and hearing [the band]_{422-the band} ; much as [she]_81-ruth longed for some variety to the dull , monotonous life [she]_81-ruth was leading , [she]_81-ruth could not feel happy to accept a privilege , granted , as [she]_81-ruth believed , in ignorance of the real state of the case ; so [she]_81-ruth startled [[her]_81-ruth companions]_{423-her companions} by rising abruptly and going up to [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} , who was finishing a dress which ought to have been sent [home]_4124-home two hours before : " If [you]_{82-mrs mason} please , [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} , [I]_81-ruth was not one of the most diligent ; [I]_81-ruth am afraid -- [I]_81-ruth believe -- [I]_81-ruth was not diligent at all . [I]_81-ruth was very tired ; and [I]_81-ruth could not help thinking , and when [I]_81-ruth think , [I]_81-ruth ca n't attend to [my]_81-ruth work . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth stopped , believing [she]_81-ruth had sufficiently explained [her]_81-ruth meaning ; but [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} would not understand , and did not wish for any further elucidation . " Well , [[my]_{82-mrs mason} dear]_{4145-my dear} , [you]_{4145-my dear} must learn to think and work too ; or , if [you]_{4145-my dear} ca n't do both , [you]_{4145-my dear} must leave off thinking . [[Your]_{4145-my dear} guardian]_{4146-your guardian} , [you]_{4145-my dear} know , expects [you]_{4145-my dear} to make great progress in [your]_{4145-my dear} business , and [I]_{82-mrs mason} am sure [you]_{4145-my dear} wo n't disappoint [him]_{4146-your guardian} . "_{[82-mrs mason]} But that was not to the point . [Ruth]_81-ruth stood still an instant , although [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} resumed [her]_{82-mrs mason} employment in a manner which [any one]_{425-any one} but [a " new girl]_{4147-a " new girl} "_{[82-mrs mason]} would have known to be intelligible enough , that [she]_{82-mrs mason} did not wish for any more conversation just then . " But as [I]_{82-mrs mason} was not diligent [I]_{82-mrs mason} ought not to go , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am . [Miss Wood]_{90-miss wood} was far more industrious than [I]_{82-mrs mason} , and many of [the others]_{4149-the others} . "_{[82-mrs mason]} " [Tiresome girl]_{4150-tiresome girl} ! "_{[82-mrs mason]} muttered [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} ; " [I]_{82-mrs mason} 've half a mind to keep [her]_{90-miss wood} at [home]_4124-home for plaguing [me]_{82-mrs mason} so . "_{[82-mrs mason]} But , looking up , [she]_{82-mrs mason} was struck afresh with the remarkable beauty which [Ruth]_81-ruth possessed ; such a credit to [the house]_{426-the house} , with [her]_81-ruth waving outline of figure , [her]_81-ruth striking face , with dark eyebrows and dark lashes , combined with auburn hair and a fair complexion . No ! diligent or idle , [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth must appear to - night . " [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} , "_{[82-mrs mason]} said [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} , with stiff dignity , " [I]_{82-mrs mason} am not accustomed ( as [these young ladies]_{4152-these young ladies} can tell [you]_{89-miss hilton} ) to have [my]_{82-mrs mason} decisions questioned . What [I]_{82-mrs mason} say , [I]_{82-mrs mason} mean ; and [I]_{82-mrs mason} have [my]_{82-mrs mason} reasons . So sit down , if [you]_{89-miss hilton} please , and take care and be ready by eight . Not a word more , "_{[82-mrs mason]} as [she]_{82-mrs mason} fancied [she]_{82-mrs mason} saw [Ruth]_81-ruth again about to speak . " [Jenny]_85-jenny ! [you]_85-jenny ought to have gone , not [me]_81-ruth , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , in no low voice to [Miss Wood]_{90-miss wood} , as [she]_{90-miss wood} sat down by [her]_{90-miss wood} . " Hush ! [Ruth]_81-ruth . [I]_{90-miss wood} could not go if [I]_{90-miss wood} might , because of [my]_{90-miss wood} cough . [I]_{90-miss wood} would rather give it up to [you]_{89-miss hilton} than [any one]_{425-any one} , if it were [mine]_{90-miss wood} to give . And suppose it is , and take the pleasure as [my]_{90-miss wood} present , and tell [me]_{90-miss wood} every bit about it when [you]_{89-miss hilton} come [home]_4124-home to - night . "_{[90-miss wood]} " Well ! [I]_{82-mrs mason} shall take it in that way , and not as if [I]_{82-mrs mason} 'd earned it , which [I]_{82-mrs mason} have n't . So thank [you]_{89-miss hilton} . [You]_{89-miss hilton} ca n't think how [I]_{82-mrs mason} shall enjoy it now . [I]_{82-mrs mason} did work diligently for five minutes last night , after [I]_{82-mrs mason} heard of it , [I]_{82-mrs mason} wanted to go so much . But [I]_{82-mrs mason} could not keep it up . Oh , [dear]_4155-dear ! and [I]_{82-mrs mason} shall really hear a band ! and see the inside of [that beautiful shire - hall]_{4156-that beautiful shire - hall} ! "_{[82-mrs mason]} CHAPTER II [Ruth]_81-ruth Goes to [the Shire - Hall]_{4144-the shire - hall} In due time that evening , [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} collected " [[her]_{82-mrs mason} young ladies]_{4157-her young ladies} "_{[82-mrs mason]} for an inspection of [their]_428-their appearance before proceeding to [the shire - hall]_{4144-the shire - hall} . [Her]_{82-mrs mason} eager , important , hurried manner of summoning [them]_428-their was not unlike that of a hen clucking [her]_{82-mrs mason} chickens together ; and to judge from the close investigation [they]_428-their had to undergo , it might have been thought that [their]_428-their part in the evening 's performance was to be far more important than that of [temporary ladies'-maids]_{430-temporary ladies'-maids} . " Is that [your]_4155-dear best frock , [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} ? "_{[82-mrs mason]} asked [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} , in a half - dissatisfied tone , turning [Ruth]_81-ruth about ; for it was only [her]_81-ruth Sunday black silk , and was somewhat worn and shabby . " Yes , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , "_[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]_81-ruth , quietly . " Oh ! indeed . Then it will do "_[81-ruth] ( still the half - satisfied tone ) . " Dress , [young ladies]_{4121-young ladies} , [you]_4155-dear know , is a very secondary consideration . Conduct is everything . Still , [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} , [I]_81-ruth think [you]_4155-dear should write and ask [[your]_4155-dear guardian]_{4146-your guardian} to send [you]_4155-dear money for another gown . [I]_81-ruth am sorry [I]_81-ruth did not think of it before . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth do not think [he]_{4146-your guardian} would send any if [I]_81-ruth wrote , "_[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]_81-ruth , in a low voice . " [He]_{4146-your guardian} was angry when [I]_81-ruth wanted a shawl , when the cold weather set in . "_[81-ruth] [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} gave [her]_81-ruth a little push of dismissal , and [Ruth]_81-ruth fell into the ranks by [[her]_81-ruth friend]_{431-her friend} , [Miss Wood]_{90-miss wood} . " Never mind , [Ruthie]_81-ruth ; [you]_81-ruth 're prettier than any of [them]_4161-them , "_{[90-miss wood]} said [a merry , good - natured girl , whose plainness excluded [her]_81-ruth from any of the envy of rivalry]_{432-a merry , good - natured girl , whose plainness excluded her from any of the envy of rivalry} . " Yes ! [I]_81-ruth know [I]_81-ruth am pretty , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , sadly , " but [I]_81-ruth am sorry [I]_81-ruth have no better gown , for this is very shabby . [I]_81-ruth am ashamed of it [myself]_81-ruth , and [I]_81-ruth can see [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} is twice as much ashamed . [I]_81-ruth wish [I]_81-ruth need not go . [I]_81-ruth did not know [we]_4162-we should have to think about [our]_4162-we own dress at all , or [I]_81-ruth should not have wished to go . "_[81-ruth] " Never mind , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[85-jenny] said [Jenny]_85-jenny , " [you]_81-ruth 've been looked at now , and [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} will soon be too busy to think about [you]_81-ruth and [your]_81-ruth gown . "_[85-jenny] " Did [you]_81-ruth hear [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth say [she]_81-ruth knew [she]_81-ruth was pretty ? "_{[433-one girl]} whispered [one girl]_{433-one girl} to another , so loudly that [Ruth]_81-ruth caught the words . " [I]_81-ruth could not help knowing , "_[81-ruth] answered [she]_81-ruth , simply , " for [many people]_{4163-many people} have told [me]_81-ruth so . "_[81-ruth] At length these preliminaries were over , and [they]_434-they were walking briskly through the frosty air ; the free motion was so inspiriting that [Ruth]_81-ruth almost danced along , and quite forgot all about shabby gowns and [grumbling guardians]_{435-grumbling guardians} . [The shire - hall]_{4144-the shire - hall} was even more striking than [she]_81-ruth had expected . The sides of [the staircase]_{437-the staircase} were painted with figures that showed ghostly in the dim light , for only [their]_434-they faces looked out of the dark , dingy canvas , with a strange fixed stare of expression . [The young milliners]_{438-the young milliners} had to arrange [their]_{438-the young milliners} wares on tables in [the ante - room]_{439-the ante - room} , and make all ready before [they]_{438-the young milliners} could venture to peep into [the ball - room]_{440-the ball - room} , where [the musicians]_{441-the musicians} were already tuning [their]_{441-the musicians} instruments , and where [one or two char - women]_{442-one or two char - women} ( strange contrast ! with [their]_{442-one or two char - women} dirty , loose attire , and [their]_{442-one or two char - women} incessant chatter , to the grand echoes of [the vaulted room]_{443-the vaulted room} ) were completing the dusting of benches and chairs . [They]_434-they quitted [the place]_{444-the place} as [Ruth]_81-ruth and [[her]_81-ruth companions]_{423-her companions} entered . [They]_434-they had talked lightly and merrily in [the ante - room]_{439-the ante - room} , but now [their]_434-they voices were hushed , awed by the old magnificence of [the vast apartment]_{447-the vast apartment} . It was so large , that objects showed dim at the further end , as through a mist . Full - length figures of county worthies hung around , in all varieties of costume , from the days of [Holbein]_91-holbein to the present time . [The lofty roof]_{448-the lofty roof} was indistinct , for the lamps were not fully lighted yet ; while through the richly - painted Gothic window at one end the moonbeams fell , many - tinted , on the floor , and mocked with their vividness the struggles of the artificial light to illuminate its little sphere . High above sounded [the musicians]_{441-the musicians} , fitfully trying some strain of which [they]_{441-the musicians} were not certain . Then [they]_{441-the musicians} stopped playing and talked , and [their]_{441-the musicians} voices sounded goblin - like in [their]_{441-the musicians} dark recess , where candles were carried about in an uncertain wavering manner , reminding [Ruth]_81-ruth of the flickering zigzag motion of the will - o'-the - wisp . Suddenly [the room]_{357-the room} sprang into the full blaze of light , and [Ruth]_81-ruth felt less impressed with its appearance , and more willing to obey [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's sharp summons to [[her]_81-ruth wandering flock]_{451-her wandering flock} , than [she]_81-ruth had been when it was dim and mysterious . [They]_434-they had presently enough to do in rendering offices of assistance to [the ladies who thronged in , and whose voices drowned all the muffled sound of the band]_{452-the ladies who thronged in , and whose voices drowned all the muffled sound of the band} [Ruth]_81-ruth had longed so much to hear . Still , if one pleasure was less , another was greater than [she]_81-ruth had anticipated . " On condition "_{[82-mrs mason]} of such a number of little observances that [Ruth]_81-ruth thought [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} would never have ended enumerating [them]_453-them , [they]_434-they were allowed during the dances to stand at a side - door and watch . And what a beautiful sight it was ! Floating away to that bounding music -- now far away , like garlands of fairies , now near , and showing as [lovely women , with every ornament of graceful dress]_{454-lovely women , with every ornament of graceful dress} -- [the elite of [the county]_{295-the county}]_{455-the elite of the county} danced on , [little caring whose eyes gazed and were dazzled]_{457-little caring whose eyes gazed and were dazzled} . Outside all was cold , and colourless , and uniform , one coating of snow over all . But inside it was warm , and glowing , and vivid ; flowers scented the air , and wreathed the head , and rested on the bosom , as if it were midsummer . Bright colours flashed on the eye and were gone , and succeeded by [others as lovely in the rapid movement of the dance]_{458-others as lovely in the rapid movement of the dance} . Smiles dimpled every face , and low tones of happiness murmured indistinctly through [the room]_{357-the room} in every pause of the music . [Ruth]_81-ruth did not care to separate the figures that formed a joyous and brilliant whole ; it was enough to gaze , and dream of the happy smoothness of the lives in which such music , and such profusion of flowers , of jewels , elegance of every description , and beauty of all shapes and hues , were everyday things . [She]_81-ruth did not want to know who [the people]_{460-the people} were ; although to hear a catalogue of names seemed to be the great delight of most of [[her]_81-ruth companions]_{423-her companions} . In fact , the enumeration rather disturbed [her]_81-ruth ; and to avoid the shock of too rapid a descent into the commonplace world of [Miss Smiths]_{92-miss smiths} and [Mr Thomsons]_{93-mr thomsons} , [she]_81-ruth returned to [her]_81-ruth post in [the ante - room]_{439-the ante - room} . There [she]_81-ruth stood thinking , or dreaming . [She]_81-ruth was startled back to actual life by a voice close to [her]_81-ruth . [One of [the dancing young ladies]_{464-the dancing young ladies}]_{463-one of the dancing young ladies} had met with a misfortune . [Her]_{463-one of the dancing young ladies} dress , of some gossamer material , had been looped up by nosegays of flowers , and one of these had fallen off in the dance , leaving [her]_{463-one of the dancing young ladies} gown to trail . To repair this , [she]_81-ruth had begged [[her]_81-ruth partner]_{465-her partner} to bring [her]_81-ruth to [the room where [the assistants]_{467-the assistants} should have been]_{466-the room where the assistants should have been} . [None]_468-none were there but [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Shall [I]_{469-the gentleman} leave [you]_81-ruth ? "_{[469-the gentleman]} asked [the gentleman]_{469-the gentleman} . " Is [my]_{469-the gentleman} absence necessary ? "_{[469-the gentleman]} " Oh , no ! "_{[470-the lady]} replied [the lady]_{470-the lady} . " A few stitches will set all to rights . Besides , [I]_{470-the lady} dare not enter [that room]_{4164-that room} by [myself]_{470-the lady} . "_{[470-the lady]} So far [she]_{470-the lady} spoke sweetly and prettily . But now [she]_{470-the lady} addressed [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Make haste . Do n't keep [me]_{470-the lady} an hour . "_{[470-the lady]} And [her]_{470-the lady} voice became cold and authoritative . [She]_{470-the lady} was very pretty , with long dark ringlets and sparkling black eyes . These had struck [Ruth]_81-ruth in the hasty glance [she]_81-ruth had taken , before [she]_81-ruth knelt down to [her]_81-ruth task . [She]_81-ruth also saw that [the gentleman]_{469-the gentleman} was young and elegant . " Oh , [that lovely galop]_{4165-that lovely galop} ! How [I]_81-ruth long to dance to it ! Will it never be done ? What a frightful time [you]_{469-the gentleman} are taking ; and [I]_81-ruth 'm dying to return in time for this galop ! "_[81-ruth] By way of showing a pretty , childlike impatience , [she]_81-ruth began to beat time with [her]_81-ruth feet to the spirited air [the band]_{422-the band} was playing . [Ruth]_81-ruth could not darn the rent in [her]_81-ruth dress with this continual motion , and [she]_81-ruth looked up to remonstrate . As [she]_81-ruth threw [her]_81-ruth head back for this purpose , [she]_81-ruth caught the eye of [the gentleman who was standing by]_{473-the gentleman who was standing by} ; it was so expressive of amusement at the airs and graces of [[his]_{469-the gentleman} pretty partner]_{474-his pretty partner} , that [Ruth]_81-ruth was infected by the feeling , and had to bend [her]_81-ruth face down to conceal the smile that mantled there . But not before [he]_{469-the gentleman} had seen it , and not before [his]_{469-the gentleman} attention had been thereby drawn to consider the kneeling figure , that , habited in black up to the throat , with the noble head bent down to the occupation in which [she]_81-ruth was engaged , formed such a contrast to [the flippant , bright , artificial girl who sat to be served with an air as haughty as a queen on [her]_81-ruth throne]_{475-the flippant , bright , artificial girl who sat to be served with an air as haughty as a queen on her throne} . " Oh , [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ! [I]_{94-mr bellingham} 'm ashamed to detain [you]_{94-mr bellingham} so long . [I]_{94-mr bellingham} had no idea [any one]_{425-any one} could have spent so much time over a little tear . No wonder [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} charges so much for dress - making , if [her]_{82-mrs mason} work - [women]_4167-women are so slow . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} It was meant to be witty , but [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} looked grave . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} saw the scarlet colour of annoyance flush to that beautiful cheek which was partially presented to [him]_{94-mr bellingham} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} took a candle from the table , and held it so that [Ruth]_81-ruth had more light . [She]_81-ruth did not look up to thank [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , for [she]_81-ruth felt ashamed that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} should have seen the smile which [she]_81-ruth had caught from [him]_{94-mr bellingham} . " [I]_81-ruth am sorry [I]_81-ruth have been so long , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , gently , as [she]_81-ruth finished [her]_81-ruth work . " [I]_81-ruth was afraid it might tear out again if [I]_81-ruth did not do it carefully . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth rose . " [I]_{476-the young lady} would rather have had it torn than have missed [that charming galop]_{4169-that charming galop} , "_{[476-the young lady]} said [the young lady]_{476-the young lady} , shaking out [her]_{476-the young lady} dress as a bird shakes its plumage . " Shall [we]_4170-we go , [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ? "_{[476-the young lady]} looking up at [him]_{94-mr bellingham} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} was surprised that [she]_{476-the young lady} gave no word or sign of thanks to [the assistant]_{477-the assistant} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} took up a camellia that [some one]_{378-some one} had left on the table . " Allow [me]_{476-the young lady} , [Miss Duncombe]_{95-miss duncombe} , to give this in [your]_{95-miss duncombe} name to [this young lady]_{4171-this young lady} , as thanks for [her]_{4171-this young lady} dexterous help . "_{[476-the young lady]} " Oh -- of course , "_{[476-the young lady]} said [she]_{476-the young lady} . [Ruth]_81-ruth received the flower silently , but with a grave , modest motion of [her]_81-ruth head . [They]_479-they had gone , and [she]_81-ruth was once more alone . Presently , [[her]_81-ruth companions]_{423-her companions} returned . " What was the matter with [Miss Duncombe]_{95-miss duncombe} ? Did [she]_{4171-this young lady} come [here]_4172-here ? "_{[423-her companions]} asked [they]_{423-her companions} . " Only [her]_{4171-this young lady} lace dress was torn , and [I]_81-ruth mended it , "_[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]_81-ruth , quietly . " Did [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} come with [her]_{4171-this young lady} ? [They]_479-they say [he]_{94-mr bellingham} 's going to be married to [her]_{4171-this young lady} ; did [he]_{94-mr bellingham} come , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] " Yes , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , and relapsed into silence . [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} danced on gaily and merrily through the night , and flirted with [Miss Duncombe]_{95-miss duncombe} , as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} thought good . But [he]_{94-mr bellingham} looked often to the side - door where [[the milliner]_{481-the milliner} 's apprentices]_{482-the milliner 's apprentices} stood ; and once [he]_{94-mr bellingham} recognised [the tall , slight figure]_{483-the tall , slight figure} , and the rich auburn hair of [the girl in black]_{484-the girl in black} ; and then [his]_{94-mr bellingham} eye sought for the camellia . It was there , snowy white in [her]_{484-the girl in black} bosom . And [he]_{94-mr bellingham} danced on more gaily than ever . The cold grey dawn was drearily lighting up [the streets]_{297-the streets} when [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} and [[her]_{82-mrs mason} company]_{486-her company} returned [home]_4124-home . The lamps were extinguished , yet the shutters of [the shops]_{488-the shops} and [dwelling - houses]_{489-dwelling - houses} were not opened . All sounds had an echo unheard by day . [One or two houseless beggars]_{490-one or two houseless beggars} sat on doorsteps , and , shivering , slept , with heads bowed on [their]_{490-one or two houseless beggars} knees , or resting against the cold hard support afforded by the wall . [Ruth]_81-ruth felt as if a dream had melted away , and [she]_81-ruth were once more in the actual world . How long it would be , even in the most favourable chance , before [she]_81-ruth should again enter [the shire - hall]_{4144-the shire - hall} ! or hear [a band of music]_{492-a band of music} ! or even see again [those bright , happy people]_{493-those bright , happy people} -- as much without any semblance of care or woe as if [they]_{493-those bright , happy people} belonged to [another race of beings]_{494-another race of beings} . Had [they]_{493-those bright , happy people} ever to deny [themselves]_{493-those bright , happy people} a wish , much less a want ? Literally and figuratively , [their]_{493-those bright , happy people} lives seemed to wander through flowery pleasure - paths . Here was cold , biting mid - winter for [her]_81-ruth , and such as [her]_81-ruth -- for [those poor beggars]_{495-those poor beggars} almost a season of death ; but to [Miss Duncombe]_{95-miss duncombe} and [[her]_{95-miss duncombe} companions]_{423-her companions} , a happy , merry time , when flowers still bloomed , and fires crackled , and comforts and luxuries were piled around [them]_{493-those bright , happy people} like fairy gifts . What did [they]_{493-those bright , happy people} know of the meaning of the word , so terrific to [the poor]_{497-the poor} ? What was winter to [them]_{493-those bright , happy people} ? But [Ruth]_81-ruth fancied that [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} looked as if [he]_{94-mr bellingham} could understand the feelings of those removed from [him]_{94-mr bellingham} by circumstance and station . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} had drawn up the windows of [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} carriage]_{498-his carriage} , it is true , with a shudder . [Ruth]_81-ruth , then , had been watching [him]_{94-mr bellingham} . Yet [she]_81-ruth had no idea that any association made [her]_81-ruth camellia precious to [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth believed it was solely on account of its exquisite beauty that [she]_81-ruth tended it so carefully . [She]_81-ruth told [Jenny]_85-jenny every particular of its presentation , with open , straight - looking eye , and without the deepening of a shade of colour . " Was it not kind of [him]_{94-mr bellingham} ? [You]_85-jenny ca n't think how nicely [he]_{94-mr bellingham} did it , just when [I]_81-ruth was a little bit mortified by [her]_81-ruth ungracious ways . "_[81-ruth] " It was very nice , indeed , "_[85-jenny] replied [Jenny]_85-jenny . " Such a beautiful flower ! [I]_85-jenny wish it had some scent . "_[85-jenny] " [I]_81-ruth wish it to be exactly as it is ; it is perfect . So pure ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , almost clasping [her]_81-ruth treasure as [she]_81-ruth placed it in water . " Who is [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ? "_[81-ruth] " [He]_{94-mr bellingham} is son to [that Mrs Bellingham of [the Priory]_{4173-the priory} , for whom [we]_4174-we made the grey satin pelisse]_{96-mrs bellingham} , "_[85-jenny] answered [Jenny]_85-jenny , sleepily . " That was before [my]_81-ruth time , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . But there was no answer . [Jenny]_85-jenny was asleep . It was long before [Ruth]_81-ruth followed [her]_85-jenny example . Even on a winter day , it was clear morning light that fell upon [her]_81-ruth face as [she]_81-ruth smiled in [her]_81-ruth slumber . [Jenny]_85-jenny would not waken [her]_81-ruth , but watched [her]_81-ruth face with admiration ; it was so lovely in its happiness . " [She]_85-jenny is dreaming of last night , "_[85-jenny] thought [Jenny]_85-jenny . It was true [she]_85-jenny was ; but [one figure]_{499-one figure} flitted more than all the rest through [her]_85-jenny visions . [He]_{499-one figure} presented flower after flower to [her]_85-jenny in that baseless morning dream , which was all too quickly ended . The night before , [she]_85-jenny had seen [[her]_85-jenny dead mother]_{500-her dead mother} in [her]_{500-her dead mother} sleep , and [she]_85-jenny wakened , weeping . And now [she]_85-jenny dreamed of [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , and smiled . And yet , was this a more evil dream than the other ? The realities of life seemed to cut more sharply against [her]_85-jenny heart than usual that morning . The late hours of the preceding nights , and perhaps the excitement of the evening before , had indisposed [her]_85-jenny to bear calmly the rubs and crosses which beset [all [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's young ladies]_{501-all mrs mason 's young ladies} at times . For [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} , though [the first dressmaker in [the county]_{295-the county}]_{502-the first dressmaker in the county} , was human after all ; and suffered , like [[her]_{82-mrs mason} apprentices]_{504-her apprentices} , from the same causes that affected [them]_{504-her apprentices} . This morning [she]_{82-mrs mason} was disposed to find fault with everything , and [everybody]_{505-everybody} . [She]_{82-mrs mason} seemed to have risen with the determination of putting [the world]_{506-the world} and all that it contained ( [[her]_{82-mrs mason} world]_{507-her world} , at least ) to rights before night ; and abuses and negligences , which had long passed unreproved , or winked at , were to - day to be dragged to light , and sharply reprimanded . Nothing less than perfection would satisfy [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} at such times . [She]_{82-mrs mason} had [her]_{82-mrs mason} ideas of justice , too ; but they were not divinely beautiful and true ideas ; they were something more resembling [a grocer]_{508-a grocer} 's , or [tea - dealer]_{509-tea - dealer} 's ideas of equal right . A little over - indulgence last night was to be balanced by a good deal of over - severity to - day ; and this manner of rectifying previous errors fully satisfied [her]_{82-mrs mason} conscience . [Ruth]_81-ruth was not inclined for , or capable of , much extra exertion ; and it would have tasked all [her]_81-ruth powers to have pleased [her]_81-ruth superior . [The work - room]_{510-the work - room} seemed filled with sharp calls . " [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} ! where have [you]_{89-miss hilton} put the blue Persian ? Whenever things are mislaid , [I]_{511-one of the girls} know it has been [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} 's evening for siding away ! "_{[511-one of the girls]} " [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} was going out last night , so [I]_{511-one of the girls} offered to clear [the workroom]_{4175-the workroom} for [her]_{89-miss hilton} . [I]_{511-one of the girls} will find it directly , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , "_{[511-one of the girls]} answered [one of [the girls]_{414-the girls}]_{511-one of the girls} . " Oh , [I]_{82-mrs mason} am well aware of [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} 's custom of shuffling off [her]_{89-miss hilton} duties upon any one who can be induced to relieve [her]_{89-miss hilton} , "_{[82-mrs mason]} replied [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} . [Ruth]_81-ruth reddened , and tears sprang to [her]_81-ruth eyes ; but [she]_81-ruth was so conscious of the falsity of the accusation , that [she]_81-ruth rebuked [herself]_81-ruth for being moved by it , and , raising [her]_81-ruth head , gave a proud look round , as if in appeal to [[her]_81-ruth companions]_{423-her companions} . " Where is the skirt of [Lady Farnham]_{97-lady farnham} 's dress ? The flounces not put on ! [I]_{82-mrs mason} am surprised . May [I]_{82-mrs mason} ask to whom this work was entrusted yesterday ? "_{[82-mrs mason]} inquired [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} , fixing [her]_{82-mrs mason} eyes on [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [I]_{82-mrs mason} was to have done it , but [I]_{82-mrs mason} made a mistake , and had to undo it . [I]_{82-mrs mason} am very sorry . "_{[82-mrs mason]} " [I]_{82-mrs mason} might have guessed , certainly . There is little difficulty , to be sure , in discovering , when work has been neglected or spoilt , into whose hands it has fallen . "_{[82-mrs mason]} Such were the speeches which fell to [Ruth]_81-ruth 's share on this day of all days , when [she]_81-ruth was least fitted to bear them with equanimity . In the afternoon it was necessary for [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} to go a few miles into [the country]_{514-the country} . [She]_81-ruth left injunctions , and orders , and directions , and prohibitions without end ; but at last [she]_81-ruth was gone , and in the relief of [her]_81-ruth absence , [Ruth]_81-ruth laid [her]_81-ruth arms on the table , and , burying [her]_81-ruth head , began to cry aloud , with weak , unchecked sobs . " Do n't cry , [Miss Hilton,"--"Ruthie]_{98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie[81-ruth]} , never mind the old dragon,"--"How will [you]_{98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie} bear on for five years , if [you]_{98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie} do n't spirit [yourself]_{98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie} up not to care a straw for what [she]_81-ruth says?"--were_[81-ruth] some of the modes of comfort and sympathy administered by [the young workwomen]_{515-the young workwomen} . [Jenny]_85-jenny , with a wiser insight into the grievance and its remedy , said : " Suppose [Ruth]_81-ruth goes out instead of [you]_{99-fanny barton} , [Fanny Barton]_{99-fanny barton} , to do the errands . The fresh air will do [her]_81-ruth good ; and [you]_{99-fanny barton} know [you]_{99-fanny barton} dislike the cold east winds , while [Ruth]_81-ruth says [she]_81-ruth enjoys frost and snow , and all kinds of shivery weather . "_[85-jenny] [Fanny Barton]_{99-fanny barton} was [a great sleepy - looking girl]_{516-a great sleepy - looking girl} , huddling over the fire . [No one]_{517-no one} so willing as [she]_{99-fanny barton} to relinquish the walk on this bleak afternoon , when the east wind blew keenly down [the street]_{347-the street} , drying up the very snow itself . There was no temptation to come abroad , for [those who were not absolutely obliged to leave [[their]_{519-those who were not absolutely obliged to leave their warm rooms} warm rooms]_{520-their warm rooms}]_{519-those who were not absolutely obliged to leave their warm rooms} ; indeed , the dusk hour showed that it was the usual tea - time for [the humble inhabitants of [that part of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{522-that part of the town} through which [Ruth]_81-ruth had to pass on [her]_81-ruth shopping expedition]_{521-the humble inhabitants of that part of the town through which ruth had to pass on her shopping expedition} . As [she]_81-ruth came to [the high ground just above [the river]_{525-the river}]_{524-the high ground just above the river} , where [the street]_{347-the street} sloped rapidly down to [the bridge]_{527-the bridge} , [she]_81-ruth saw [the flat country beyond all covered with snow]_{528-the flat country beyond all covered with snow} , making the black dome of the cloud - laden sky appear yet blacker ; as if the winter 's night had never fairly gone away , but had hovered on the edge of [the world]_{506-the world} all through the short bleak day . Down by [the bridge]_{527-the bridge} ( where there was a little shelving bank , used as a landing - place for [any pleasure - boats that could float on]_{531-any pleasure - boats that could float on} [that shallow stream]_{532-that shallow stream} ) [some children]_{533-some children} were playing , and defying the cold ; [one of [them]_{533-some children}]_{534-one of them} had got a large washing - tub , and with the use of a broken oar kept steering and pushing [himself]_{534-one of them} hither and thither in [the little creek]_{535-the little creek} , much to the admiration of [[his]_{534-one of them} companions]_{536-his companions} , who stood gravely looking on , immovable in [their]_{536-his companions} attentive observation of [the hero]_{537-the hero} , although [their]_{536-his companions} faces were blue with cold , and [their]_{536-his companions} hands crammed deep into [their]_{536-his companions} pockets with some faint hope of finding warmth there . Perhaps [they]_{536-his companions} feared that , if [they]_{536-his companions} unpacked [themselves]_{536-his companions} from [their]_{536-his companions} lumpy attitudes and began to move about , the cruel wind would find its way into every cranny of [their]_{536-his companions} tattered dress . [They]_{536-his companions} were all huddled up , and still ; with eyes intent on [the embryo sailor]_{538-the embryo sailor} . At last , [one little man]_{539-one little man} , envious of the reputation that [his]_{539-one little man} playfellow was acquiring by [his]_{539-one little man} daring , called out : " [I]_{539-one little man} 'll set [thee]_100-tom a craddy , [Tom]_100-tom ! [Thou]_100-tom dar'n't go over yon black line in [the water]_{4177-the water} , out into [the real river]_{4178-the real river} . "_{[539-one little man]} Of course the challenge was not to be refused , and [Tom]_100-tom paddled away towards [the dark line]_{540-the dark line} , beyond which [the river]_{525-the river} swept with smooth , steady current . [Ruth]_81-ruth ( [a child in years]_{542-a child in years} [herself]_81-ruth ) stood at the top of the declivity watching [the adventurer]_{543-the adventurer} , but as unconscious of any danger as [the group of [children below]_{545-children below}]_{544-the group of children below} . At [their]_{536-his companions} playfellow 's success , [they]_{536-his companions} broke through the calm gravity of observation into boisterous marks of applause , clapping [their]_{536-his companions} hands , and stamping [their]_{536-his companions} impatient little feet , and shouting , " Well done , [Tom]_100-tom ; [thou]_4179-thou hast done it rarely ! "_{[536-his companions]} [Tom]_100-tom stood in childish dignity for a moment , facing [[his]_100-tom admirers]_{546-his admirers} ; then , in an instant , [his]_100-tom washing - tub boat was whirled round , and [he]_100-tom lost [his]_100-tom balance , and fell out ; and both [he]_100-tom and [[his]_100-tom boat]_{547-his boat} were carried away slowly , but surely , by [the strong full river]_{548-the strong full river} which eternally moved onwards to [the sea]_{549-the sea} . [The children]_{550-the children} shrieked aloud with terror ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth flew down to [the little bay]_{551-the little bay} , and far into [[its]_{551-the little bay} shallow waters]_{552-its shallow waters} , before [she]_81-ruth felt how useless such an action was , and that the sensible plan would have been to seek for efficient help . Hardly had this thought struck [her]_81-ruth , when , louder and sharper than the sullen roar of [the stream]_{553-the stream} that was ceaselessly and unrelentingly flowing on , came the splash of a horse galloping through the water in which [she]_81-ruth was standing . Past [her]_81-ruth like lightning -- down in [the stream]_{553-the stream} , swimming along with the current -- [a stooping rider]_{555-a stooping rider} -- an outstretched , grasping arm -- a little life redeemed , and [a child]_{556-a child} saved to [those who loved it]_{557-those who loved it} ! [Ruth]_81-ruth stood dizzy and sick with emotion while all this took place ; and when [the rider]_{558-the rider} turned [his]_{558-the rider} swimming horse , and slowly breasted up [the river]_{525-the river} to [the landing - place]_{560-the landing - place} , [she]_81-ruth recognised [him]_{558-the rider} as [the Mr Bellingham of the night before]_{561-the mr bellingham of the night before} . [He]_{558-the rider} carried [the unconscious child]_{562-the unconscious child} across [his]_{558-the rider} horse ; the body hung in so lifeless a manner that [Ruth]_81-ruth believed it was dead , and [her]_81-ruth eyes were suddenly blinded with tears . [She]_81-ruth waded back to [the beach]_{563-the beach} , to the point towards which [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was directing [his]_{558-the rider} horse . " Is [he]_{558-the rider} dead ? "_[81-ruth] asked [she]_81-ruth , stretching out [her]_81-ruth arms to receive [the little fellow]_{564-the little fellow} ; for [she]_81-ruth instinctively felt that the position in which [he]_{558-the rider} hung was not the most conducive to returning consciousness , if , indeed , it would ever return . " [I]_{94-mr bellingham} think not , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} answered [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} gave [the child]_{565-the child} to [her]_81-ruth , before springing off [his]_{94-mr bellingham} horse . " Is [he]_{558-the rider} [[your]_81-ruth brother]_{4180-your brother} ? Do [you]_81-ruth know who [he]_{558-the rider} is ? "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " Look ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , who had sat down upon the ground , the better to prop [the poor lad]_{566-the poor lad} , " [his]_{558-the rider} hand twitches ! [he]_{558-the rider} lives ! oh , [sir]_4181-sir , [he]_{558-the rider} lives ! Whose boy is [he]_{558-the rider} ? "_[81-ruth] ( to [the people]_{460-the people} , who came hurrying and gathering to the spot at the rumour of an accident ) . " [He]_{558-the rider} 's [old Nelly Brownson]_{101-old nelly brownson} 's , "_{[460-the people]} said [they]_{460-the people} . " [[Her]_81-ruth grandson]_{4182-her grandson} . "_{[460-the people]} " [We]_{460-the people} must take [him]_{558-the rider} into [a house]_{4183-a house} directly , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth . " Is [[his]_{558-the rider} home]_{4184-his home} far off ? "_{[460-the people]} " No , no ; it 's just close by . "_{[460-the people]} " [One of [you]_{460-the people}]_{4185-one of you} go for [a doctor]_{4186-a doctor} at once , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} said [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , authoritatively , " and bring [him]_{558-the rider} to [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} 's without delay . [You]_81-ruth must not hold [him]_{558-the rider} any longer , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [he]_{94-mr bellingham} continued , speaking to [Ruth]_81-ruth , and remembering [her]_81-ruth face now for the first time ; " [your]_81-ruth dress is dripping wet already . Here ! [[you]_81-ruth fellow]_{4188-you fellow} , take [him]_{558-the rider} up , d'ye see ! "_{[94-mr bellingham]} But [the child]_{565-the child} 's hand had nervously clenched [Ruth]_81-ruth 's dress , and [she]_81-ruth would not have [him]_{565-the child} disturbed . [She]_81-ruth carried [her]_81-ruth heavy burden very tenderly towards [a mean little cottage]_{569-a mean little cottage} indicated by [the neighbours]_{570-the neighbours} ; [an old crippled woman]_{571-an old crippled woman} was coming out of the door , shaking all over with agitation . " Dear heart ! "_{[571-an old crippled woman]} said [she]_{571-an old crippled woman} , " [he]_{558-the rider} 's the last of 'em all , and [he]_{558-the rider} 's gone afore [me]_{571-an old crippled woman} . "_{[571-an old crippled woman]} " Nonsense , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} said [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , " [the boy]_{4189-the boy} is alive , and likely to live . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} But [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} was helpless and hopeless , and insisted on believing that [[her]_{4187-the old woman} grandson]_{4182-her grandson} was dead ; and dead [he]_{565-the child} would have been if it had not been for [Ruth]_81-ruth , and [one or two of [the more sensible neighbours , who , under [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's directions]_{575-the more sensible neighbours , who , under mr bellingham 's directions} , bustled about , and did all that was necessary until animation was restored]_{574-one or two of the more sensible neighbours , who , under mr bellingham 's directions , bustled about , and did all that was necessary until animation was restored} . " What a confounded time [these people]_{4190-these people} are in fetching [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} said [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} to [Ruth]_81-ruth , between whom and [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} a sort of silent understanding had sprung up from the circumstance of [their]_576-their having been the only two ( besides [mere children ) who had witnessed the accident]_{577-mere children ) who had witnessed the accident} , and also [the only two to whom a certain degree of cultivation]_{578-the only two to whom a certain degree of cultivation} had given the power of understanding [each other]_{579-each other} 's thoughts and even [each other]_{579-each other} 's words . " It takes so much to knock an idea into [such stupid people]_{4192-such stupid people} 's heads . [They]_{4190-these people} stood gaping and asking which doctor [they]_{4190-these people} were to go for , as if it signified whether it was [Brown]_102-jemima or [Smith]_103-smith , so long as [he]_{565-the child} had [his]_{565-the child} wits about [him]_{565-the child} . [I]_581-i have no more time to waste here , either ; [I]_581-i was on the gallop when [I]_581-i caught sight of [the lad]_{4193-the lad} ; and , now [he]_{4193-the lad} has fairly sobbed and opened [his]_{4193-the lad} eyes , [I]_581-i see no use in [my]_581-i staying in this stifling atmosphere . May [I]_581-i trouble [you]_81-ruth with one thing ? Will [you]_81-ruth be so good as to see that [the little fellow]_{564-the little fellow} has all that [he]_{4193-the lad} wants ? If [you]_81-ruth 'll allow [me]_581-i , [I]_581-i 'll leave [you]_81-ruth [my]_581-i purse , "_[581-i] continued [he]_581-i , giving it to [Ruth]_81-ruth , who was only too glad to have this power entrusted to [her]_81-ruth of procuring one or two requisites which [she]_81-ruth had perceived to be wanted . But [she]_81-ruth saw some gold between the net - work ; [she]_81-ruth did not like the charge of such riches . " [I]_81-ruth shall not want so much , really , [sir]_4181-sir . [One sovereign]_{4196-one sovereign} will be plenty -- more than enough . May [I]_81-ruth take that out , and [I]_81-ruth will give [you]_81-ruth back what is left of it when [I]_81-ruth see [you]_81-ruth again ? or , perhaps [I]_81-ruth had better send it to [you]_4181-sir , [sir]_4181-sir ? "_[81-ruth] " [I]_582-i think [you]_81-ruth had better keep it all at present . Oh ! what a horrid dirty place this is ; insufferable two minutes longer . [You]_81-ruth must not stay here ; [you]_81-ruth 'll be poisoned with this abominable air . Come towards the door , [I]_582-i beg . Well , if [you]_81-ruth think [one sovereign]_{4196-one sovereign} will be enough , [I]_582-i will take [my]_582-i purse ; only , remember [you]_81-ruth apply to [me]_582-i if [you]_81-ruth think [they]_582-i want more . "_[582-i] [They]_582-i were standing at the door , where [some one]_{378-some one} was holding [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's horse . [Ruth]_81-ruth was looking at [him]_{378-some one} with [her]_81-ruth earnest eyes ( [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} and [her]_81-ruth errands quite forgotten in the interest of the afternoon 's event ) , [her]_81-ruth whole thoughts bent upon rightly understanding and following out [his]_{378-some one} wishes for [the little boy]_{584-the little boy} 's welfare ; and until now this had been the first object in [his]_{378-some one} own mind . But at this moment the strong perception of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's exceeding beauty came again upon [him]_{378-some one} . [He]_{378-some one} almost lost the sense of what [he]_{378-some one} was saying , [he]_{378-some one} was so startled into admiration . The night before , [he]_{378-some one} had not seen [her]_81-ruth eyes ; and now they looked straight and innocently full at [him]_{378-some one} , grave , earnest , and deep . But when [she]_81-ruth instinctively read the change in the expression of [his]_{378-some one} countenance , [she]_81-ruth dropped [her]_81-ruth large white veiling lids ; and [he]_{378-some one} thought [her]_81-ruth face was lovelier still . The irresistible impulse seized [him]_{378-some one} to arrange matters so that [he]_{378-some one} might see [her]_81-ruth again before long . " No ! "_{[378-some one]} said [he]_{378-some one} . " [I]_{378-some one} see it would be better that [you]_81-ruth should keep the purse . Many things may be wanted for [the lad]_{4193-the lad} which [we]_4200-we can not calculate upon now . If [I]_{378-some one} remember rightly , there are [three sovereigns and some loose change]_{4201-three sovereigns and some loose change} ; [I]_{378-some one} shall , perhaps , see [you]_81-ruth again in a few days , when , if there be any money left in the purse , [you]_81-ruth can restore it to [me]_{378-some one} . "_{[378-some one]} " Oh , yes , [sir]_4181-sir , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , alive to the magnitude of the wants to which [she]_81-ruth might have to administer , and yet rather afraid of the responsibility implied in the possession of so much money . " Is there any chance of [my]_{378-some one} meeting [you]_81-ruth again in [this house]_{4203-this house} ? "_{[378-some one]} asked [he]_{378-some one} . " [I]_{378-some one} hope to come whenever [I]_{378-some one} can , [sir]_4181-sir ; but [I]_{378-some one} must run in errand - times , and [I]_{378-some one} do n't know when [my]_{378-some one} turn may be . "_{[378-some one]} " Oh"--he_{[378-some one]} did not fully understand this answer--"I should like to know how [you]_{378-some one} think [the boy]_{4189-the boy} is going on , if it is not giving [you]_{378-some one} too much trouble ; do [you]_{378-some one} ever take walks ? "_{[378-some one]} " Not for walking 's sake , [sir]_4181-sir . "_{[378-some one]} " Well ! "_{[378-some one]} said [he]_{378-some one} , " [you]_{378-some one} go to [church]_4207-church , [I]_{378-some one} suppose ? [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} does not keep [you]_{378-some one} at work on Sundays , [I]_{378-some one} trust ? "_{[378-some one]} " Oh , no , [sir]_4181-sir . [I]_{378-some one} go to [church]_4207-church regularly . "_{[378-some one]} " Then , perhaps , [you]_{378-some one} will be so good as to tell [me]_{378-some one} what [church]_4207-church [you]_{378-some one} go to , and [I]_{378-some one} will meet [you]_{378-some one} [there]_332-there next Sunday afternoon ? "_{[378-some one]} " [I]_585-he go to [St Nicholas ']_{5-st nicholas '} , [sir]_4181-sir . [I]_585-he will take care and bring [you]_4181-sir word how [the boy]_{4189-the boy} is , and what [doctor]_4214-doctor [they]_{4189-the boy} get ; and [I]_585-he will keep an account of the money [I]_585-he spend . "_[585-he] " Very well ; thank [you]_4181-sir . Remember , [I]_585-he trust to [you]_81-ruth . "_[585-he] [He]_585-he meant that [he]_585-he relied on [her]_586-her promise to meet [him]_585-he ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth thought that [he]_585-he was referring to the responsibility of doing the best [she]_586-her could for [the child]_{565-the child} . [He]_585-he was going away , when a fresh thought struck [him]_585-he , and [he]_585-he turned back into [the cottage]_{588-the cottage} once more , and addressed [Ruth]_81-ruth , with a half smile on [his]_585-he countenance : " It seems rather strange , but [we]_4215-we have [no one]_{517-no one} to introduce [us]_4215-we ; [my]_585-he name is [Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} -- yours is-- ? "_[585-he] " [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth , [sir]_4181-sir , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth answered , in a low voice , for , now that the conversation no longer related to [the boy]_{4189-the boy} , [she]_81-ruth felt shy and restrained . [He]_585-he held out [his]_585-he hand to shake [hers]_81-ruth , and just as [she]_81-ruth gave it to [him]_585-he , [the old grandmother]_{590-the old grandmother} came tottering up to ask some question . The interruption jarred upon [him]_585-he , and made [him]_585-he once more keenly alive to the closeness of the air , and the squalor and dirt by which [he]_585-he was surrounded . " [[My]_585-he good woman]_{4218-my good woman} , "_[585-he] said [he]_585-he to [Nelly Brownson]_{101-old nelly brownson} , " could [you]_{101-old nelly brownson} not keep [[your]_{101-old nelly brownson} place]_{4219-your place} a little neater and cleaner ? [It]_{4219-your place} is more fit for pigs than [human beings]_{4220-human beings} . The air in [this room]_{4221-this room} is quite offensive , and the dirt and filth is really disgraceful . "_[585-he] By this time [he]_585-he was mounted , and , bowing to [Ruth]_81-ruth , [he]_585-he rode away . Then [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} 's wrath broke out . " Who may [you]_81-ruth be , that knows no better manners than to come into [[a poor woman]_{4222-a poor woman} 's house]_{4223-a poor woman 's house} to abuse it?--fit for pigs , indeed ! What [d'ye]_81-ruth call [yon fellow]_{4224-yon fellow} ? "_{[4187-the old woman]} " [He]_585-he is [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , shocked at [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} 's apparent ingratitude . " It was [he]_585-he that rode into [the water]_{4177-the water} to save [[your]_{4187-the old woman} grandson]_{4226-your grandson} . [He]_585-he would have been drowned but for [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} . [I]_81-ruth thought once [they]_4227-they would both have been swept away by the current , it was so strong . "_[81-ruth] " [The river]_{525-the river} is none so deep , either , "_{[4187-the old woman]} [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} said , anxious to diminish as much as possible the obligation [she]_{4187-the old woman} was under to one who had offended [her]_{4187-the old woman} . " [Some one else]_{4229-some one else} would have saved [him]_585-he , if [this fine young spark]_{4230-this fine young spark} had never been near . [He]_585-he 's [an orphan]_{4231-an orphan} , and [God]_104-leonard watches over [orphans]_4232-orphans , [they]_4233-they say . [I]_{4187-the old woman} 'd rather it had been [any one else]_{4234-any one else} as had picked [him]_585-he out , than one who comes into [a poor body 's house]_{4235-a poor body 's house} only to abuse it . "_{[4187-the old woman]} " [He]_585-he did not come in only to abuse it , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , gently . " [He]_585-he came with [little Tom]_100-tom ; [he]_585-he only said it was not quite so clean as it might be . "_[81-ruth] " What ! [you]_{4187-the old woman} 're taking up the cry , are [you]_{4187-the old woman} ? Wait till [you]_{4187-the old woman} are [an old woman like [me]_81-ruth]_{4236-an old woman like me} , crippled with rheumatiz , and [a lad]_{4237-a lad} to see after like [Tom]_100-tom , who is always in mud when [he]_585-he is n't in water ; and [his]_585-he food and [mine]_81-ruth to scrape together ( God knows [we]_596-we 're often short , and do the best [I]_81-ruth can ) , and water to fetch up that steep brow . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth stopped to cough ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth judiciously changed the subject , and began to consult [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} as to the wants of [[her]_{4187-the old woman} grandson]_{4182-her grandson} , in which consultation [they]_596-we were soon assisted by [the medical man]_{597-the medical man} . When [Ruth]_81-ruth had made one or two arrangements with [a neighbour]_{598-a neighbour} , whom [she]_81-ruth asked to procure the most necessary things , and had heard from [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} that all would be right in a day or two , [she]_81-ruth began to quake at the recollection of the length of time [she]_81-ruth had spent at [Nelly Brownson 's]_{101-old nelly brownson} , and to remember , with some affright , the strict watch kept by [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} over [[her]_{82-mrs mason} apprentices]_{504-her apprentices} ' out - goings and in - comings on working days . [She]_81-ruth hurried off to [the shops]_{488-the shops} , and tried to recall [her]_81-ruth wandering thoughts to the respective merits of pink and blue as a match to lilac , found [she]_81-ruth had lost [her]_81-ruth patterns , and went [home]_4124-home with ill - chosen things , and in a fit of despair at [her]_81-ruth own stupidity . The truth was , that the afternoon 's adventure filled [her]_81-ruth mind ; only , the figure of [Tom]_100-tom ( who was now safe , and likely to do well ) was receding into the background , and that of [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} becoming more prominent than it had been . [His]_{94-mr bellingham} spirited and natural action of galloping into the water to save [the child]_{565-the child} , was magnified by [Ruth]_81-ruth into the most heroic deed of daring ; [his]_{94-mr bellingham} interest about [the boy]_{4189-the boy} was tender , thoughtful benevolence in [her]_81-ruth eyes , and [his]_{94-mr bellingham} careless liberality of money was fine generosity ; for [she]_81-ruth forgot that generosity implies some degree of self - denial . [She]_81-ruth was gratified , too , by the power of dispensing comfort [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had entrusted to [her]_81-ruth , and was busy with [Alnaschar]_{105-alnaschar} visions of wise expenditure , when the necessity of opening [[Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's house]_{605-mrs mason 's house} - door summoned [her]_81-ruth back into actual present life , and the dread of an immediate scolding . For this time , however , [she]_81-ruth was spared ; but spared for such a reason that [she]_81-ruth would have been thankful for some blame in preference to [her]_81-ruth impunity . During [her]_81-ruth absence , [Jenny]_85-jenny 's difficulty of breathing had suddenly become worse , and [the girls]_{414-the girls} had , on [their]_{414-the girls} own responsibility , put [her]_85-jenny to bed , and were standing round [her]_85-jenny in dismay , when [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's return [home]_4124-home ( only a few minutes before [Ruth]_81-ruth arrived ) fluttered [them]_{414-the girls} back into [the workroom]_{4175-the workroom} . And now , all was confusion and hurry ; [a doctor]_{4186-a doctor} to be sent for ; a mind to be unburdened of directions for a dress to [a forewoman , who was too ill to understand]_{610-a forewoman , who was too ill to understand} ; scoldings to be scattered with no illiberal hand amongst [a group of [frightened girls]_{612-frightened girls}]_{611-a group of frightened girls} , hardly sparing [the poor invalid]_{613-the poor invalid} [herself]_{613-the poor invalid} for [her]_{613-the poor invalid} inopportune illness . In the middle of all this turmoil , [Ruth]_81-ruth crept quietly to [[her]_81-ruth place]_{614-her place} , with a heavy saddened heart at the indisposition of [the gentle forewoman]_{615-the gentle forewoman} . [She]_81-ruth would gladly have nursed [Jenny]_85-jenny [herself]_81-ruth , and often longed to do it , but [she]_81-ruth could not be spared . [Hands]_616-hands , unskilful in fine and delicate work , would be well enough qualified to tend [the sick]_{617-the sick} , until [the mother]_{618-the mother} arrived from [home]_4124-home . Meanwhile , extra diligence was required in [the workroom]_{4175-the workroom} ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth found no opportunity of going to see [little Tom]_100-tom , or to fulfil the plans for making [him]_100-tom and [[his]_100-tom grandmother]_{621-his grandmother} more comfortable , which [she]_81-ruth had proposed to [herself]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth regretted [her]_81-ruth rash promise to [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , of attending to [the little boy]_{584-the little boy} 's welfare ; all that [she]_81-ruth could do was done by means of [[Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's servant]_{623-mrs mason 's servant} , through whom [she]_81-ruth made inquiries , and sent the necessary help . The subject of [Jenny]_85-jenny 's illness was the prominent one in [the house]_{426-the house} . [Ruth]_81-ruth told of [her]_81-ruth own adventure , to be sure ; but when [she]_81-ruth was at the very crisis of [the boy]_{4189-the boy} 's fall into [the river]_{525-the river} , the more fresh and vivid interest of some tidings of [Jenny]_85-jenny was brought into [the room]_{357-the room} , and [Ruth]_81-ruth ceased , almost blaming [herself]_81-ruth for caring for anything besides the question of life or death to be decided in [that very house]_{628-that very house} . Then [a pale , gentle - looking woman]_{629-a pale , gentle - looking woman} was seen moving softly about ; and it was whispered that this was [the mother]_{618-the mother} come to nurse [[her]_{629-a pale , gentle - looking woman} child]_{631-her child} . [Everybody]_{505-everybody} liked [her]_{629-a pale , gentle - looking woman} , [she]_{629-a pale , gentle - looking woman} was so sweet - looking , and gave so little trouble , and seemed so patient , and so thankful for any inquiries about [[her]_{629-a pale , gentle - looking woman} daughter]_{633-her daughter} , whose illness , it was understood , although its severity was mitigated , was likely to be long and tedious . While all the feelings and thoughts relating to [Jenny]_85-jenny were predominant , [Sunday]_106-sunday arrived . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} went the accustomed visit to [[her]_{82-mrs mason} father]_{411-her father} 's , making some little show of apology to [Mrs Wood]_{107-mrs wood} for leaving [her]_{82-mrs mason} and [[her]_{82-mrs mason} daughter]_{633-her daughter} ; [the apprentices]_{636-the apprentices} dispersed to [the various friends with whom [they]_{636-the apprentices} were in the habit of spending the day]_{637-the various friends with whom they were in the habit of spending the day} ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth went to [St Nicholas ']_{5-st nicholas '} , with a sorrowful heart , depressed on account of [Jenny]_85-jenny , and self - reproachful at having rashly undertaken what [she]_81-ruth had been unable to perform . As [she]_81-ruth came out of [church]_4207-church , [she]_81-ruth was joined by [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} . [She]_81-ruth had half hoped that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} might have forgotten the arrangement , and yet [she]_81-ruth wished to relieve [herself]_81-ruth of [her]_81-ruth responsibility . [She]_81-ruth knew [his]_{94-mr bellingham} step behind [her]_81-ruth , and the contending feelings made [her]_81-ruth heart beat hard , and [she]_81-ruth longed to run away . " [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} believe , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} said [he]_{94-mr bellingham} , overtaking [her]_81-ruth , and bowing forward , so as to catch a sight of [her]_81-ruth rose - red face . " How is [[our]_4238-our little sailor]_{4239-our little sailor} going on ? Well , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} trust , from the symptoms the other day . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " [I]_81-ruth believe , [sir]_4181-sir , [he]_{4239-our little sailor} is quite well now . [I]_81-ruth am very sorry , but [I]_81-ruth have not been able to go and see [him]_{4239-our little sailor} . [I]_81-ruth am so sorry -- [I]_81-ruth could not help it . But [I]_81-ruth have got one or two things through [another person]_{4241-another person} . [I]_81-ruth have put them down on this slip of paper ; and here is [your]_4181-sir purse , [sir]_4181-sir , for [I]_81-ruth am afraid [I]_81-ruth can do nothing more for [him]_{4239-our little sailor} . [We]_4243-we have illness in [the house]_{426-the house} , and it makes [us]_4243-we very busy . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth had been so much accustomed to blame of late , that [she]_81-ruth almost anticipated some remonstrance or reproach now , for not having fulfilled [her]_81-ruth promise better . [She]_81-ruth little guessed that [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was far more busy trying to devise some excuse for meeting [her]_81-ruth again , during the silence that succeeded [her]_81-ruth speech , than displeased with [her]_81-ruth for not bringing a more particular account of [the little boy]_{584-the little boy} , in whom [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had ceased to feel any interest . [She]_81-ruth repeated , after a minute 's pause : " [I]_81-ruth am very sorry [I]_81-ruth have done so little , [sir]_4181-sir . "_[81-ruth] " Oh , yes , [I]_81-ruth am sure [you]_4181-sir have done all [you]_4181-sir could . It was thoughtless in [me]_81-ruth to add to [your]_4181-sir engagements . "_[81-ruth] " [He]_4181-sir is displeased with [me]_81-ruth , "_[81-ruth] thought [Ruth]_81-ruth , " for what [he]_4181-sir believes to have been neglect of [the boy]_{4189-the boy} , whose life [he]_4181-sir risked [his]_4181-sir own to save . If [I]_81-ruth told all , [he]_4181-sir would see that [I]_81-ruth could not do more ; but [I]_81-ruth can not tell [him]_4181-sir all the sorrows and worries that have taken up [my]_81-ruth time . "_[81-ruth] " And yet [I]_640-me am tempted to give [you]_81-ruth another little commission , if it is not taking up too much of [your]_81-ruth time , and presuming too much on [your]_81-ruth good - nature , "_[640-me] said [he]_640-me , a bright idea having just struck [him]_640-me . " [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} lives in [Heneage Place]_{7-heneage place} , does not [she]_{82-mrs mason} ? [[My]_640-me mother]_{4247-my mother} 's ancestors lived [there]_332-there ; and once , when [the house]_{426-the house} was being repaired , [she]_{82-mrs mason} took [me]_640-me in to show [me]_640-me [the old place]_{4250-the old place} . There was an old hunting - piece painted on a panel over one of the chimney - pieces ; the figures were portraits of [[my]_640-me ancestors]_{4251-my ancestors} . [I]_640-me have often thought [I]_640-me should like to purchase it , if it still remained there . Can [you]_640-me ascertain this for [me]_640-me , and bring [me]_640-me word next Sunday ? "_[640-me] " Oh , yes , [sir]_4181-sir , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , glad that this commission was completely within [her]_81-ruth power to execute , and anxious to make up for [her]_81-ruth previous seeming neglect . " [I]_641-i 'll look directly [I]_641-i get [home]_4124-home , and ask [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} to write and let [you]_640-me know . "_[641-i] " Thank [you]_81-ruth , "_[641-i] said [he]_641-i , only half satisfied ; " [I]_641-i think perhaps , however , it might be as well not to trouble [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} about it ; [you]_81-ruth see , it would compromise [me]_641-i , and [I]_641-i am not quite determined to purchase the picture ; if [you]_81-ruth would ascertain whether the painting is there , and tell [me]_641-i , [I]_641-i would take a little time to reflect , and afterwards [I]_641-i could apply to [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} [myself]_641-i . "_[641-i] " Very well , [sir]_4181-sir ; [I]_{107-mrs wood} will see about it . "_{[107-mrs wood]} So [they]_642-they parted . Before the next Sunday , [Mrs Wood]_{107-mrs wood} had taken [[her]_{107-mrs wood} daughter]_{633-her daughter} to [[her]_{107-mrs wood} distant home]_{644-her distant home} , to recruit in [that quiet place]_{645-that quiet place} . [Ruth]_81-ruth watched [her]_{107-mrs wood} down [the street]_{347-the street} from an upper window , and , sighing deep and long , returned to [the workroom]_{4175-the workroom} , whence the warning voice and the gentle wisdom had departed . CHAPTER III Sunday at [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} attended afternoon service at [[St Nicholas]_{5-st nicholas '} ' church]_{648-st nicholas ' church} the next Sunday . [His]_{94-mr bellingham} thoughts had been far more occupied by [Ruth]_81-ruth than [hers]_81-ruth by [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , although [his]_{94-mr bellingham} appearance upon the scene of [her]_81-ruth life was more an event to [her]_81-ruth than it was to [him]_{94-mr bellingham} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} was puzzled by the impression [she]_81-ruth had produced on [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , though [he]_{94-mr bellingham} did not in general analyse the nature of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} feelings , but simply enjoyed them with the delight which [youth]_649-youth takes in experiencing new and strong emotion . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} was old compared to [Ruth]_81-ruth , but young as [a man]_{650-a man} ; hardly three - and - twenty . The fact of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} being [an only child]_{651-an only child} had given [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , as it does to [many]_652-many , a sort of inequality in those parts of the character which are usually formed by the number of years that [a person]_{653-a person} has lived . The unevenness of discipline to which [only children]_{654-only children} are subjected ; the thwarting , resulting from over - anxiety ; the indiscreet indulgence , arising from a love centred all in one object ; had been exaggerated in [his]_{94-mr bellingham} education , probably from the circumstance that [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{655-his mother} ( [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} only surviving parent]_{656-his only surviving parent} ) had been similarly situated to [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} was already in possession of [the comparatively small property [he]_{94-mr bellingham} inherited from [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} father]_{658-his father}]_{657-the comparatively small property he inherited from his father} . [The estate on which [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{655-his mother} lived]_{659-the estate on which his mother lived} was [her]_{655-his mother} own ; and [her]_{655-his mother} income gave [her]_{655-his mother} the means of indulging or controlling [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , after [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had grown to [[man]_661-man 's estate]_{662-man 's estate} , as [her]_{655-his mother} wayward disposition and [her]_{655-his mother} love of power prompted [her]_{655-his mother} . Had [he]_{94-mr bellingham} been double - dealing in [his]_{94-mr bellingham} conduct towards [her]_{655-his mother} , had [he]_{94-mr bellingham} condescended to humour [her]_{655-his mother} in the least , [her]_{655-his mother} passionate love for [him]_{94-mr bellingham} would have induced [her]_{655-his mother} to strip [herself]_{655-his mother} of all [her]_{655-his mother} possessions to add to [his]_{94-mr bellingham} dignity or happiness . But although [he]_{94-mr bellingham} felt the warmest affection for [her]_{655-his mother} , the regardlessness which [she]_{655-his mother} had taught [him]_{94-mr bellingham} ( by example , perhaps , more than by precept ) of the feelings of [others]_368-others , was continually prompting [him]_{94-mr bellingham} to do things that [she]_{655-his mother} , for the time being , resented as mortal affronts . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} would mimic the clergyman [she]_{655-his mother} specially esteemed , even to [his]_{94-mr bellingham} very face ; [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would refuse to visit [[her]_{655-his mother} schools]_{664-her schools} for months and months ; and , when wearied into going at last , revenge [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} by puzzling [the children]_{550-the children} with the most ridiculous questions ( gravely put ) that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} could imagine . All these boyish tricks annoyed and irritated [her]_{655-his mother} far more than the accounts which reached [her]_{655-his mother} of more serious misdoings at college and in [town]_666-town . Of these grave offences [she]_{655-his mother} never spoke ; of the smaller misdeeds [she]_{655-his mother} hardly ever ceased speaking . Still , at times , [she]_{655-his mother} had great influence over [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , and nothing delighted [her]_{655-his mother} more than to exercise it . The submission of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} will to [hers]_{655-his mother} was sure to be liberally rewarded ; for it gave [her]_{655-his mother} great happiness to extort , from [his]_{94-mr bellingham} indifference or [his]_{94-mr bellingham} affection , the concessions which [she]_{655-his mother} never sought by force of reason , or by appeals to principle -- concessions which [he]_{94-mr bellingham} frequently withheld , solely for the sake of asserting [his]_{94-mr bellingham} independence of [her]_{655-his mother} control . [She]_{655-his mother} was anxious for [him]_{94-mr bellingham} to marry [Miss Duncombe]_{95-miss duncombe} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} cared little or nothing about it -- it was time enough to be married ten years hence ; and so [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was dawdling through some months of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} life -- sometimes flirting with the nothing - loath [Miss Duncombe]_{95-miss duncombe} , sometimes plaguing , and sometimes delighting [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{655-his mother} , at all times taking care to please [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} -- when [he]_{94-mr bellingham} first saw [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth , and a new , passionate , hearty feeling shot through [his]_{94-mr bellingham} whole being . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} did not know why [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was so fascinated by [her]_{655-his mother} . [She]_{655-his mother} was very beautiful , but [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had seen [others equally beautiful]_{668-others equally beautiful} , and with many more _ agaceries _ calculated to set off the effect of [their]_{668-others equally beautiful} charms . There was , perhaps , something bewitching in the union of the grace and loveliness of womanhood with the _ naïveté _ , simplicity , and innocence of [an intelligent child]_{669-an intelligent child} . There was a spell in the shyness , which made [her]_{655-his mother} avoid and shun all admiring approaches to acquaintance . It would be an exquisite delight to attract and tame [her]_{655-his mother} wildness , just as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had often allured and tamed the timid fawns in [[[his]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{655-his mother} 's park]_{671-his mother 's park} . By no over - bold admiration , or rash , passionate word , would [he]_{94-mr bellingham} startle [her]_{655-his mother} ; and , surely , in time [she]_{655-his mother} might be induced to look upon [him]_{94-mr bellingham} as [a friend]_{672-a friend} , if not something nearer and dearer still . In accordance with this determination , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} resisted the strong temptation of walking by [her]_{655-his mother} side the whole distance [home]_4124-home after [church]_4207-church . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} only received the intelligence [she]_{655-his mother} brought respecting the panel with thanks , spoke a few words about the weather , bowed , and was gone . [Ruth]_81-ruth believed [she]_81-ruth should never see [him]_{94-mr bellingham} again ; and , in spite of sundry self - upbraidings for [her]_81-ruth folly , [she]_81-ruth could not help feeling as if a shadow were drawn over [her]_81-ruth existence for several days to come . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} was [a widow]_{675-a widow} , and had to struggle for the sake of [the six or seven children]_{676-the six or seven children} left dependent on [her]_{82-mrs mason} exertions ; thus there was some reason , and great excuse , for the pinching economy which regulated [her]_{82-mrs mason} household affairs . On Sundays [she]_{82-mrs mason} chose to conclude that all [[her]_{82-mrs mason} apprentices]_{504-her apprentices} had [friends]_678-friends who would be glad to see [them]_{504-her apprentices} to dinner , and give [them]_{504-her apprentices} a welcome reception for the remainder of the day ; while [she]_{82-mrs mason} , and those of [[her]_{82-mrs mason} children who were not at [school]_680-school]_{679-her children who were not at school} , went to spend the day at [[[her]_{82-mrs mason} father]_{411-her father} 's house]_{682-her father 's house} , [several miles out of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{683-several miles out of the town} . Accordingly , no dinner was cooked on Sundays for [the young workwomen]_{515-the young workwomen} ; no fires were lighted in [any rooms to which [they]_{515-the young workwomen} had access]_{686-any rooms to which they had access} . On this morning [they]_{515-the young workwomen} breakfasted in [[Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's own parlour]_{687-mrs mason 's own parlour} , after which [the room]_{357-the room} was closed against [them]_{515-the young workwomen} through the day by some understood , though unspoken prohibition . What became of such as [Ruth]_81-ruth , who had [no home]_{689-no home} and [no friends]_{690-no friends} in [that large , populous , desolate town]_{691-that large , populous , desolate town} ? [She]_81-ruth had hitherto commissioned [the servant]_{692-the servant} , who went to market on Saturdays for [the family]_{693-the family} , to buy [her]_81-ruth a bun or biscuit , whereon [she]_81-ruth made [her]_81-ruth fasting dinner in [the deserted workroom]_{694-the deserted workroom} , sitting in [her]_81-ruth walking - dress to keep off the cold , which clung to [her]_81-ruth in spite of shawl and bonnet . Then [she]_81-ruth would sit at the window , looking out on the dreary prospect till [her]_81-ruth eyes were often blinded by tears ; and , partly to shake off thoughts and recollections , the indulgence in which [she]_81-ruth felt to be productive of no good , and partly to have some ideas to dwell upon during the coming week beyond those suggested by the constant view of [the same room]_{695-the same room} , [she]_81-ruth would carry [her]_81-ruth Bible , and place [herself]_81-ruth in the window - seat on the wide landing , which commanded [the street in front of [the house]_{426-the house}]_{696-the street in front of the house} . From thence [she]_81-ruth could see the irregular grandeur of [the place]_{444-the place} ; [she]_81-ruth caught a view of [the grey church - tower]_{699-the grey church - tower} , rising hoary and massive into mid - air ; [she]_81-ruth saw one or two figures loiter along on the sunny side of [the street]_{347-the street} , in all the enjoyment of [their]_701-their fine clothes and Sunday leisure ; and [she]_81-ruth imagined histories for [them]_701-their , and tried to picture to [herself]_81-ruth [[their]_701-their homes]_{702-their homes} and [their]_701-their daily doings . And before long , the bells swung heavily in the [church - tower]_{703-church - tower} , and struck out with musical clang the first summons to [afternoon church]_{704-afternoon church} . After [church]_4207-church was over , [she]_81-ruth used to return [home]_4124-home to the same window - seat , and watch till the winter twilight was over and gone , and the stars came out over the black masses of [houses]_707-houses . And then [she]_81-ruth would steal down to ask for a candle , as a companion to [her]_81-ruth in [the deserted workroom]_{694-the deserted workroom} . Occasionally [the servant]_{692-the servant} would bring [her]_81-ruth up some tea ; but of late [Ruth]_81-ruth had declined taking any , as [she]_81-ruth had discovered [she]_81-ruth was robbing the kind - hearted creature of part of the small provision left out for [her]_81-ruth by [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} . [She]_81-ruth sat on , hungry and cold , trying to read [her]_81-ruth Bible , and to think the old holy thoughts which had been [her]_81-ruth childish meditations at [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} 's knee , until one after another [the apprentices]_{636-the apprentices} returned , weary with [their]_{636-the apprentices} day 's enjoyment , and [their]_{636-the apprentices} week 's late watching ; too weary to make [her]_81-ruth in any way a partaker of [their]_{636-the apprentices} pleasure by entering into details of the manner in which [they]_{636-the apprentices} had spent [their]_{636-the apprentices} day . And last of all , [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} returned ; and , summoning [[her]_{82-mrs mason} " young people]_{4255-her " young people} "_{[82-mrs mason]} once more into [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , [she]_{82-mrs mason} read a prayer before dismissing [them]_{636-the apprentices} to bed . [She]_{82-mrs mason} always expected to find [them]_{636-the apprentices} all in [the house]_{426-the house} when [she]_{82-mrs mason} came [home]_4124-home , but asked no questions as to [their]_{636-the apprentices} proceedings through the day ; perhaps because [she]_{82-mrs mason} dreaded to hear that [one or two]_{370-one or two} had occasionally nowhere to go , and that it would be sometimes necessary to order a Sunday 's dinner , and leave a lighted fire on that day . For five months [Ruth]_81-ruth had been [an inmate]_{716-an inmate} at [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's , and such had been the regular order of the Sundays . While [the forewoman]_{717-the forewoman} stayed [there]_332-there , it is true , [she]_{717-the forewoman} was ever ready to give [Ruth]_81-ruth the little variety of hearing of recreations in which [she]_81-ruth was [no partaker]_{719-no partaker} ; and however tired [Jenny]_85-jenny might be at night , [she]_{717-the forewoman} had ever some sympathy to bestow on [Ruth]_81-ruth for the dull length of day [she]_81-ruth had passed . After [her]_81-ruth departure , the monotonous idleness of the Sunday seemed worse to bear than the incessant labour of the work - days ; until the time came when it seemed to be a recognised hope in [her]_81-ruth mind , that on Sunday afternoons [she]_81-ruth should see [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , and hear a few words from [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , as from [a friend who took an interest in [her]_81-ruth thoughts and proceedings during the past week]_{720-a friend who took an interest in her thoughts and proceedings during the past week} . [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's mother]_{721-ruth 's mother} had been [the daughter of [a poor curate in [Norfolk]_9-norfolk]_{723-a poor curate in norfolk} , and , early left without [parents]_724-parents or [home]_4124-home , [she]_{721-ruth 's mother} was thankful to marry [a respectable farmer]_{726-a respectable farmer} a good deal older than [herself]_{721-ruth 's mother}]_{722-the daughter of a poor curate in norfolk , and , early left without parents or home , she was thankful to marry a respectable farmer a good deal older than herself} . After [their]_727-their marriage , however , everything seemed to go wrong . [Mrs Hilton]_{108-mrs hilton} fell into a delicate state of health , and was unable to bestow the ever - watchful attention to domestic affairs so requisite in [[a farmer]_{728-a farmer} 's wife]_{729-a farmer 's wife} . [[Her]_81-ruth husband]_{730-her husband} had a series of misfortunes -- of a more important kind than the death of a whole brood of turkeys from getting among the nettles , or the year of bad cheeses spoilt by [a careless dairymaid]_{731-a careless dairymaid} -- which were the consequences ( so [the neighbours]_{570-the neighbours} said ) of [Mr Hilton]_{109-mr hilton} 's mistake in marrying [a delicate , fine lady]_{733-a delicate , fine lady} . [His]_{109-mr hilton} crops failed ; [his]_{109-mr hilton} horses died ; [[his]_{109-mr hilton} barn]_{734-his barn} took fire ; in short , if [he]_{109-mr hilton} had been in any way a remarkable character , one might have supposed [him]_{109-mr hilton} to be the object of an avenging fate , so successive were the evils which pursued [him]_{109-mr hilton} ; but as [he]_{109-mr hilton} was only [a somewhat commonplace farmer]_{735-a somewhat commonplace farmer} , [I]_0-i believe [we]_736-we must attribute [his]_{109-mr hilton} calamities to some want in [his]_{109-mr hilton} character of the one quality required to act as keystone to many excellences . While [[his]_{109-mr hilton} wife]_{737-his wife} lived , all worldly misfortunes seemed as nothing to [him]_{109-mr hilton} ; [her]_{737-his wife} strong sense and lively faculty of hope upheld [him]_{109-mr hilton} from despair ; [her]_{737-his wife} sympathy was always ready , and [[the invalid]_{738-the invalid} 's room]_{739-the invalid 's room} had an atmosphere of peace and encouragement , which affected all who entered it . But when [Ruth]_81-ruth was about twelve , one morning in the busy hay - time , [Mrs Hilton]_{108-mrs hilton} was left alone for some hours . This had often happened before , nor had [she]_{737-his wife} seemed weaker than usual when [they]_740-they had gone forth to [the field]_{741-the field} ; but on [their]_740-they return , with merry voices , to fetch the dinner prepared for [the haymakers]_{742-the haymakers} , [they]_740-they found an unusual silence brooding over [the house]_{426-the house} ; no low voice called out gently to welcome [them]_740-they , and ask after the day 's progress ; and , on entering [the little parlour]_{744-the little parlour} , which was called [Mrs Hilton]_{108-mrs hilton} 's , and was sacred to [her]_{737-his wife} , [they]_740-they found [her]_{737-his wife} lying dead on [[her]_{737-his wife} accustomed sofa]_{745-her accustomed sofa} . Quite calm and peaceful [she]_{737-his wife} lay ; there had been no struggle at last ; the struggle was for [the survivors]_{746-the survivors} , and [one]_321-one sank under it . [[Her]_{108-mrs hilton} husband]_{730-her husband} did not make much ado at first -- at least , not in outward show ; [her]_{737-his wife} memory seemed to keep in check all external violence of grief ; but , day by day , dating from [[his]_{730-her husband} wife]_{737-his wife} 's death , [his]_{730-her husband} mental powers decreased . [He]_{730-her husband} was still [a hale - looking elderly man]_{750-a hale - looking elderly man} , and [his]_{730-her husband} bodily health appeared as good as ever ; but [he]_{730-her husband} sat for hours in [his]_{730-her husband} easy - chair , looking into the fire , not moving , nor speaking , unless when it was absolutely necessary to answer repeated questions . If [Ruth]_81-ruth , with coaxings and draggings , induced [him]_{730-her husband} to come out with [her]_81-ruth , [he]_{730-her husband} went with measured steps around [[his]_{730-her husband} fields]_{751-his fields} , [his]_{730-her husband} head bent to the ground with the same abstracted , unseeing look ; never smiling -- never changing the expression of [his]_{730-her husband} face , not even to one of deeper sadness , when anything occurred which might be supposed to remind [him]_{730-her husband} of [[his]_{730-her husband} dead wife]_{752-his dead wife} . But in this abstraction from all outward things , [his]_{730-her husband} worldly affairs went ever lower down . [He]_{730-her husband} paid money away , or received it , as if it had been so much water ; [the gold mines of [Potosi]_10-potosi]_{753-the gold mines of potosi} could not have touched the deep grief of [his]_{730-her husband} soul ; but [God]_104-leonard in [His]_104-leonard mercy knew the sure balm , and sent [the Beautiful Messenger]_{754-the beautiful messenger} to take [the weary one]_{755-the weary one} [home]_4124-home . After [his]_{730-her husband} death , [the creditors]_{757-the creditors} were [the chief people who appeared to take any interest in the affairs]_{758-the chief people who appeared to take any interest in the affairs} ; and it seemed strange to [Ruth]_81-ruth to see [people]_322-people , whom [she]_81-ruth scarcely knew , examining and touching all that [she]_81-ruth had been accustomed to consider as precious and sacred . [[Her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} had made [his]_{411-her father} will at [her]_81-ruth birth . With the pride of newly and late - acquired paternity , [he]_{411-her father} had considered the office of [guardian]_761-guardian to [[his]_{411-her father} little darling]_{762-his little darling} as one which would have been an additional honour to [the lord - lieutenant of [the county]_{295-the county}]_{763-the lord - lieutenant of the county} ; but as [he]_{411-her father} had not the pleasure of [[his]_{411-her father} lordship]_{765-his lordship} 's acquaintance , [he]_{411-her father} selected [the person of most consequence amongst [those whom [he]_{411-her father} did know]_{767-those whom he did know} ; [not any very ambitious appointment , in those days of comparative prosperity]_{768-not any very ambitious appointment , in those days of comparative prosperity} ; but certainly [the flourishing maltster of [Skelton]_110-skelton]_{769-the flourishing maltster of skelton}]_{766-the person of most consequence amongst those whom he did know ; not any very ambitious appointment , in those days of comparative prosperity ; but certainly the flourishing maltster of skelton} was a little surprised , when , fifteen years later , [he]_{411-her father} learnt that [he]_{411-her father} was executor to a will bequeathing many vanished hundreds of pounds , and [guardian]_761-guardian to [a young girl whom [he]_{411-her father} could not remember ever to have seen]_{771-a young girl whom he could not remember ever to have seen} . [He]_{411-her father} was [a sensible , hard - headed man of [the world]_{506-the world}]_{772-a sensible , hard - headed man of the world} ; having a very fair proportion of conscience as consciences go ; indeed , [perhaps more than many people]_{774-perhaps more than many people} ; for [he]_{411-her father} had some ideas of duty extending to [the circle beyond [[his]_{411-her father} own family]_{776-his own family}]_{775-the circle beyond his own family} ; and did not , as [some]_365-some would have done , decline acting altogether , but speedily summoned [the creditors]_{757-the creditors} , examined into the accounts , sold up the farming - stock , and discharged all the debts ; paid about £ 80 into [the Skelton bank]_{779-the skelton bank} for a week , while [he]_{411-her father} inquired for a situation or apprenticeship of some kind for [poor heart - broken [Ruth]_81-ruth]_{780-poor heart - broken ruth} ; heard of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's ; arranged all with [her]_{82-mrs mason} in two short conversations ; drove over for [Ruth]_81-ruth in [[his]_{411-her father} gig]_{781-his gig} ; waited while [she]_81-ruth and [the old servant]_{782-the old servant} packed up [her]_81-ruth clothes ; and grew very impatient while [she]_81-ruth ran , with [her]_81-ruth eyes streaming with tears , round [the garden]_{783-the garden} , tearing off in a passion of love whole boughs of favourite China and damask roses , late flowering against the casement - window of what had been [[[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} 's room]_{785-her mother 's room} . When [she]_81-ruth took [her]_81-ruth seat in [the gig]_{786-the gig} , [she]_81-ruth was little able , even if [she]_81-ruth had been inclined , to profit by [[her]_81-ruth guardian]_{787-her guardian} 's lectures on economy and self - reliance ; but [she]_81-ruth was quiet and silent , looking forward with longing to the night - time , when , in [[her]_81-ruth bedroom]_{788-her bedroom} , [she]_81-ruth might give way to all [her]_81-ruth passionate sorrow at being wrenched from [the home where [she]_81-ruth had lived with [[her]_81-ruth parents]_{790-her parents} , in that utter absence of any anticipation of change , which is either the blessing or the curse of childhood]_{789-the home where she had lived with her parents , in that utter absence of any anticipation of change , which is either the blessing or the curse of childhood} . But at night there were [four other girls in [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room}]_{791-four other girls in her room} , and [she]_81-ruth could not cry before [them]_{791-four other girls in her room} . [She]_81-ruth watched and waited till , one by one , [they]_{791-four other girls in her room} dropped off to sleep , and then [she]_81-ruth buried [her]_81-ruth face in the pillow , and shook with sobbing grief ; and then [she]_81-ruth paused to conjure up , with fond luxuriance , every recollection of the happy days , so little valued in [their]_{791-four other girls in her room} uneventful peace while [they]_{791-four other girls in her room} lasted , so passionately regretted when once gone for ever ; to remember every look and word of [the dear mother]_{793-the dear mother} , and to moan afresh over the change caused by [her]_{793-the dear mother} death;--the first clouding in of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's day of life . It was [Jenny]_85-jenny 's sympathy on this first night , when awakened by [Ruth]_81-ruth 's irrepressible agony , that had made the bond between [them]_794-them . But [Ruth]_81-ruth 's loving disposition , continually sending forth fibres in search of nutriment , found no other object for regard among those of [her]_81-ruth daily life to compensate for the want of natural ties . But , almost insensibly , [Jenny]_85-jenny 's place in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart was filled up ; there was [some one who listened with tender interest to all [her]_81-ruth little revelations]_{795-some one who listened with tender interest to all her little revelations} ; who questioned [her]_81-ruth about [her]_81-ruth early days of happiness , and , in return , spoke of [his]_{795-some one who listened with tender interest to all her little revelations} own childhood -- not so golden in reality as [Ruth]_81-ruth 's , but more dazzling , when recounted with stories of [the beautiful cream - coloured Arabian pony]_{796-the beautiful cream - coloured arabian pony} , and [the old picture - gallery in [the house]_{426-the house}]_{797-the old picture - gallery in the house} , and [avenues]_799-avenues , and terraces , and fountains in [the garden]_{783-the garden} , for [Ruth]_81-ruth to paint , with all the vividness of imagination , as scenery and background for the figure which was growing by slow degrees most prominent in [her]_81-ruth thoughts . It must not be supposed that this was effected all at once , though the intermediate stages have been passed over . On Sunday , [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} only spoke to [her]_81-ruth to receive the information about the panel ; nor did [he]_{94-mr bellingham} come to [St Nicholas]_{5-st nicholas '} ' the next , nor yet the following Sunday . But the third [he]_{94-mr bellingham} walked by [her]_81-ruth side a little way , and , seeing [her]_81-ruth annoyance , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} left [her]_81-ruth ; and then [she]_81-ruth wished for [him]_{94-mr bellingham} back again , and found the day very dreary , and wondered why a strange undefined feeling had made [her]_81-ruth imagine [she]_81-ruth was doing wrong in walking alongside of one so kind and good as [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ; it had been very foolish of [her]_81-ruth to be self - conscious all the time , and if ever [he]_{94-mr bellingham} spoke to [her]_81-ruth again [she]_81-ruth would not think of what [people]_322-people might say , but enjoy the pleasure which [his]_{94-mr bellingham} kind words and evident interest in [her]_81-ruth might give . Then [she]_81-ruth thought it was very likely [he]_{94-mr bellingham} never would notice [her]_81-ruth again , for [she]_81-ruth knew [she]_81-ruth had been very rude with [her]_81-ruth short answers ; it was very provoking that [she]_81-ruth had behaved so rudely . [She]_81-ruth should be sixteen in another month , and [she]_81-ruth was still childish and awkward . Thus [she]_81-ruth lectured [herself]_81-ruth , after parting with [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ; and the consequence was , that on the following Sunday [she]_81-ruth was ten times as blushing and conscious , and ( [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} thought ) ten times more beautiful than ever . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} suggested , that instead of going straight [home]_4124-home through [High - street]_{803-high - street} , [she]_81-ruth should take the round by [the Leasowes]_{11-the leasowes} ; at first [she]_81-ruth declined , but then , suddenly wondering and questioning [herself]_81-ruth why [she]_81-ruth refused a thing which was , as far as reason and knowledge ( _ [her]_81-ruth _ knowledge ) went , so innocent , and which was certainly so tempting and pleasant , [she]_81-ruth agreed to go the round ; and when [she]_81-ruth was once in [the meadows that skirted [the town]_{396-the town}]_{804-the meadows that skirted the town} , [she]_81-ruth forgot all doubt and awkwardness -- nay , almost forgot the presence of [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} -- in [her]_81-ruth delight at the new tender beauty of an early spring day in February . Among the last year 's brown ruins , heaped together by the wind in the hedgerows , [she]_81-ruth found the fresh green crinkled leaves and pale star - like flowers of the primroses . Here and there a golden celandine made brilliant the sides of [the little brook that ( full of water in " February fill - dyke]_{4256-the little brook that ( full of water in " february fill - dyke} "_[81-ruth] ) bubbled along by the side of [the path]_{806-the path} ; the sun was low in the horizon , and once , when [they]_807-they came to [a higher part of [the Leasowes]_{11-the leasowes}]_{808-a higher part of the leasowes} , [Ruth]_81-ruth burst into an exclamation of delight at the evening glory of mellow light which was in the sky behind the purple distance , while the brown leafless woods in the foreground derived an almost metallic lustre from the golden mist and haze of the sunset . It was but three - quarters of a mile round by [the meadows]_{809-the meadows} , but somehow it took [them]_807-they an hour to walk [it]_810-it . [Ruth]_81-ruth turned to thank [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} for [his]_{94-mr bellingham} kindness in taking [her]_81-ruth [home]_4124-home by this beautiful way , but [his]_{94-mr bellingham} look of admiration at [her]_81-ruth glowing , animated face , made [her]_81-ruth suddenly silent ; and , hardly wishing [him]_{94-mr bellingham} good - bye , [she]_81-ruth quickly entered [the house]_{426-the house} with a beating , happy , agitated heart . " How strange it is , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth thought that evening , " that [I]_81-ruth should feel as if this charming afternoon 's walk were , somehow , not exactly wrong , but yet as if it were not right . Why can it be ? [I]_81-ruth am not defrauding [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} of any of [her]_{82-mrs mason} time ; that [I]_81-ruth know would be wrong ; [I]_81-ruth am left to go where [I]_81-ruth like on Sundays . [I]_81-ruth have been to [church]_4207-church , so it ca n't be because [I]_81-ruth have missed doing [my]_81-ruth duty . If [I]_81-ruth had gone this walk with [Jenny]_85-jenny , [I]_81-ruth wonder whether [I]_81-ruth should have felt as [I]_81-ruth do now . There must be something wrong in [me]_81-ruth , [myself]_81-ruth , to feel so guilty when [I]_81-ruth have done nothing which is not right ; and yet [I]_81-ruth can thank [God]_104-leonard for the happiness [I]_81-ruth have had in this charming spring walk , which [dear mamma]_{4258-dear mamma} used to say was a sign when pleasures were innocent and good for [us]_4259-us . "_[81-ruth] [She]_813-she was not conscious , as yet , that [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's presence had added any charm to the ramble ; and when [she]_813-she might have become aware of this , as , week after week , Sunday after Sunday , [loitering ramble after loitering ramble]_{814-loitering ramble after loitering ramble} succeeded [each other]_{579-each other} , [she]_813-she was too much absorbed with one set of thoughts to have much inclination for self - questioning . " Tell [me]_{94-mr bellingham} everything , [Ruth]_81-ruth , as [you]_81-ruth would to [a brother]_{4260-a brother} ; let [me]_{94-mr bellingham} help [you]_81-ruth , if [I]_{94-mr bellingham} can , in [your]_81-ruth difficulties , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [he]_{94-mr bellingham} said to [her]_813-she one afternoon . And [he]_{94-mr bellingham} really did try to understand , and to realise , how [an insignificant and paltry person like [Mason]_{82-mrs mason} [the dressmaker]_{288-the dressmaker}]_{816-an insignificant and paltry person like mason the dressmaker} could be an object of dread , and regarded as [a person having authority]_{818-a person having authority} , by [Ruth]_81-ruth . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} flamed up with indignation when , by way of impressing [him]_{94-mr bellingham} with [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's power and consequence , [Ruth]_81-ruth spoke of some instance of the effects of [[her]_81-ruth employer]_{819-her employer} 's displeasure . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} declared [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{655-his mother} should never have a gown made again by [such a tyrant]_{821-such a tyrant} -- such a [Mrs Brownrigg]_{112-mrs brownrigg} ; that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would prevent all [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} acquaintances]_{822-his acquaintances} from going to such [a cruel dressmaker]_{823-a cruel dressmaker} ; till [Ruth]_81-ruth was alarmed at the threatened consequences of [her]_81-ruth one - sided account , and pleaded for [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} as earnestly as if [a young man]_{824-a young man} 's menace of this description were likely to be literally fulfilled . " Indeed , [sir]_4181-sir , [I]_{82-mrs mason} have been very wrong ; if [you]_4181-sir please , [sir]_4181-sir , do n't be so angry . [She]_{82-mrs mason} is often very good to [us]_4263-us ; it is only sometimes [she]_{82-mrs mason} goes into a passion ; and [we]_4263-us are very provoking , [I]_{82-mrs mason} dare say . [I]_{82-mrs mason} know [I]_{82-mrs mason} am for one . [I]_{82-mrs mason} have often to undo [my]_{82-mrs mason} work , and [you]_4181-sir ca n't think how it spoils anything ( particularly silk ) to be unpicked ; and [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} has to bear all the blame . Oh ! [I]_{82-mrs mason} am sorry [I]_{82-mrs mason} said anything about it . Do n't speak to [[your]_4181-sir mother]_{4264-your mother} about it , pray , [sir]_4181-sir . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} thinks so much of [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} 's custom . "_{[82-mrs mason]} " Well , [I]_{82-mrs mason} wo n't this time"--recollecting_{[82-mrs mason]} that there might be some awkwardness in accounting to [[his]_825-his mother]_{655-his mother} for the means by which [he]_825-his had obtained [his]_825-his very correct information as to what passed in [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's workroom--"but if ever [she]_{82-mrs mason} does so again , [I]_{82-mrs mason} 'll not answer for [myself]_{82-mrs mason} . "_{[82-mrs mason]} " [I]_81-ruth will take care and not tell again , [sir]_4181-sir , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , in a low voice . " Nay , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth are not going to have secrets from [me]_81-ruth , are [you]_81-ruth ? Do n't [you]_81-ruth remember [your]_81-ruth promise to consider [me]_81-ruth as [a brother]_{4260-a brother} ? Go on telling [me]_81-ruth everything that happens to [you]_81-ruth , pray ; [you]_81-ruth can not think how much interest [I]_81-ruth take in all [your]_81-ruth interests . [I]_81-ruth can quite fancy [that charming home at [Milham]_12-milham]_{4268-that charming home at milham} [you]_81-ruth told [me]_81-ruth about last Sunday . [I]_81-ruth can almost fancy [[Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's workroom]_{4269-mrs mason 's workroom} ; and that , surely , is a proof either of the strength of [my]_81-ruth imagination , or of [your]_81-ruth powers of description . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth smiled . " It is , indeed , [sir]_4181-sir . [[Our]_4271-our workroom]_{4272-our workroom} must be so different to anything [you]_81-ruth ever saw . [I]_81-ruth think [you]_81-ruth must have passed through [Milham]_12-milham often on [your]_81-ruth way to [Lowford]_13-lowford . "_[81-ruth] " Then [you]_81-ruth do n't think it is any stretch of fancy to have so clear an idea as [I]_{82-mrs mason} have of [Milham Grange]_{15-milham grange} ? On [the left hand of [the road]_{4274-the road}]_{4273-the left hand of the road} , is it , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_{[82-mrs mason]} " Yes , [sir]_4181-sir , just over [the bridge]_{527-the bridge} , and up [the hill]_{4277-the hill} where the elm - trees meet overhead and make a green shade ; and then comes [the dear old Grange]_{4278-the dear old grange} , that [I]_827-you shall never see again . "_[827-you] " Never ! Nonsense , [Ruthie]_81-ruth ; it is only six miles off ; [you]_81-ruth may see it any day . It is not an hour 's ride . "_[81-ruth] " Perhaps [I]_{82-mrs mason} may see it again when [I]_{82-mrs mason} am grown old ; [I]_{82-mrs mason} did not think exactly what ' never ' meant ; it is so very long since [I]_{82-mrs mason} was [there]_332-there , and [I]_{82-mrs mason} do n't see any chance of [my]_{82-mrs mason} going for years and years , at any rate . "_{[82-mrs mason]} " Why , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth -- [we]_4280-we may go next Sunday afternoon , if [you]_81-ruth like . "_[827-you] [She]_827-you looked up at [him]_828-you with a lovely light of pleasure in [her]_827-you face at the idea . " How , [sir]_4181-sir ? Can [I]_827-you walk it between afternoon service and the time [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} comes [home]_4124-home ? [I]_827-you would go for only one glimpse ; but if [I]_827-you could get into [the house]_{426-the house} -- oh , [sir]_4181-sir ! if [I]_827-you could just see [[mamma]_113-mamma 's room]_{4285-mamma 's room} again ! "_[827-you] [He]_828-you was revolving plans in [his]_828-you head for giving [her]_827-you this pleasure , and [he]_828-you had also [his]_828-you own in view . If [they]_829-they went in any of [[his]_828-you carriages]_{830-his carriages} , the loitering charm of the walk would be lost ; and [they]_829-they must , to a certain degree , be encumbered by , and exposed to , the notice of [servants]_831-servants . " Are [you]_827-you [a good walker]_{4286-a good walker} , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? Do [you]_827-you think [you]_827-you can manage six miles ? If [we]_4287-we set off at two o'clock , [we]_4287-we shall be [there]_332-there by four , without hurrying ; or say half - past four . Then [we]_4287-we might stay two hours , and [you]_827-you could show [me]_832-i all the old walks and old places [you]_827-you love , and [we]_4287-we could still come leisurely [home]_4124-home . Oh , it 's all arranged directly ! "_[832-i] " But do [you]_828-you think it would be right , [sir]_4181-sir ? It seems as if it would be such a great pleasure , that it must be in some way wrong . "_[832-i] " Why , [you]_827-you little goose , what can be wrong in it ? "_[832-i] " In the first place , [I]_81-ruth miss going to [church]_4207-church by setting out at two , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , a little gravely . " Only for once . Surely [you]_828-you do n't see any harm in missing [church]_4207-church for once ? [You]_828-you will go in the morning , [you]_828-you know . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_832-i wonder if [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} would think it right -- if [she]_{82-mrs mason} would allow it ? "_[832-i] " No , [I]_832-i dare say not . But [you]_827-you do n't mean to be governed by [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's notions of right and wrong . [She]_{82-mrs mason} thought it right to treat [that poor girl]_{4293-that poor girl} [Palmer]_114-palmer in the way [you]_827-you told [me]_832-i about . [You]_827-you would think that wrong , [you]_827-you know , and so would every one of sense and feeling . Come , [Ruth]_81-ruth , do n't pin [your]_827-you faith on [any one]_{425-any one} , but judge for [yourself]_827-you . The pleasure is perfectly innocent ; it is not a selfish pleasure either , for [I]_832-i shall enjoy it to the full as much as [you]_827-you will . [I]_832-i shall like to see the places where [you]_827-you spent [your]_827-you childhood ; [I]_832-i shall almost love [them]_4295-them as much as [you]_827-you do . "_[832-i] [He]_832-i had dropped [his]_832-i voice ; and spoke in low , persuasive tones . [Ruth]_81-ruth hung down [her]_81-ruth head , and blushed with exceeding happiness ; but [she]_81-ruth could not speak , even to urge [her]_81-ruth doubts afresh . Thus it was in a manner settled . How delightfully happy the plan made [her]_81-ruth through the coming week ! [She]_81-ruth was too young when [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} died to have received any cautions or words of advice respecting _ the _ subject of [a woman]_{834-a woman} 's life -- if , indeed , [wise parents]_{835-wise parents} ever directly speak of what , in its depth and power , can not be put into words -- which is a brooding spirit with no definite form or shape that [men]_836-men should know it , but which is there , and present before [we]_837-we have recognised and realised its existence . [Ruth]_81-ruth was innocent and snow - pure . [She]_81-ruth had heard of falling in love , but did not know the signs and symptoms thereof ; nor , indeed , had [she]_81-ruth troubled [her]_81-ruth head much about them . Sorrow had filled up [her]_81-ruth days , to the exclusion of all lighter thoughts than the consideration of present duties , and the remembrance of the happy time which had been . But the interval of blank , after the loss of [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} and during [[her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} 's life - in - death , had made [her]_81-ruth all the more ready to value and cling to sympathy -- first from [Jenny]_85-jenny , and now from [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} . To see [[her]_81-ruth [home]_4124-home]_{840-her home} again , and to see it with [him]_{94-mr bellingham} ; to show [him]_{94-mr bellingham} ( secure of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} interest ) the haunts of former times , each with its little tale of the past -- of dead and gone events!--No coming shadow threw its gloom over this week 's dream of happiness -- a dream which was too bright to be spoken about to common and indifferent ears . CHAPTER IV Treading in Perilous Places Sunday came , as brilliant as if there were no sorrow , or death , or guilt in [the world]_{506-the world} ; a day or two of rain had made [the earth]_{843-the earth} fresh and brave as the blue heavens above . [Ruth]_81-ruth thought it was too strong a realisation of [her]_81-ruth hopes , and looked for an over - clouding at noon ; but the glory endured , and at two o'clock [she]_81-ruth was in [the Leasowes]_{11-the leasowes} , with a beating heart full of joy , longing to stop the hours , which would pass too quickly through the afternoon . [They]_844-they sauntered through [the fragrant lanes]_{845-the fragrant lanes} , as if [their]_844-they loitering would prolong the time , and check the fiery - footed steeds galloping apace towards the close of the happy day . It was past five o'clock before [they]_844-they came to the great mill - wheel , which stood in Sabbath idleness , motionless in a brown mass of shade , and still wet with yesterday 's immersion in [the deep transparent water beneath]_{846-the deep transparent water beneath} . [They]_844-they clambered [the little hill]_{847-the little hill} , not yet fully shaded by the overarching elms ; and then [Ruth]_81-ruth checked [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , by a slight motion of the hand which lay within [his]_{94-mr bellingham} arm , and glanced up into [his]_{94-mr bellingham} face to see what that face should express as it looked on [Milham Grange]_{15-milham grange} , now lying still and peaceful in its afternoon shadows . [It]_{15-milham grange} was [a house of after - thoughts]_{848-a house of after - thoughts} ; building materials were plentiful in [the neighbourhood]_{849-the neighbourhood} , and [every successive owner]_{850-every successive owner} had found a necessity for some addition or projection , till [it]_{15-milham grange} was a picturesque mass of irregularity -- of broken light and shadow -- which , as a whole , gave a full and complete idea of a " Home . "_{[850-every successive owner]} [All]_851-all [its]_{15-milham grange} gables and nooks were blended and held together by the tender green of the climbing roses and young creepers . [An old couple]_{852-an old couple} were living in [the house]_{426-the house} until [it]_{15-milham grange} should be let , but [they]_{852-an old couple} dwelt in the back part , and never used the front door ; so the little birds had grown tame and familiar , and perched upon the window - sills and [porch]_854-porch , and on the old stone cistern which caught the water from the roof . [They]_844-they went silently through [the untrimmed garden]_{855-the untrimmed garden} , full of the pale - coloured flowers of spring . A spider had spread [her]_856-her web over the front door . The sight of this conveyed a sense of desolation to [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart ; [she]_81-ruth thought it was possible the state entrance had never been used since [[her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} 's dead body had been borne forth , and , without speaking a word , [she]_81-ruth turned abruptly away , and went round [the house]_{426-the house} to another door . [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} followed without questioning , little understanding [her]_81-ruth feelings , but full of admiration for the varying expression called out upon [her]_81-ruth face . [The old woman]_{4187-the old woman} had not yet returned from [church]_4207-church , or from the weekly gossip or neighbourly tea which succeeded . [The husband]_{861-the husband} sat in [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , spelling the psalms for the day in [his]_{861-the husband} Prayer - book , and reading the words out aloud -- a habit [he]_{861-the husband} had acquired from the double solitude of [his]_{861-the husband} life , for [he]_{861-the husband} was deaf . [He]_{861-the husband} did not hear the quiet entrance of [the pair]_{863-the pair} , and [they]_{863-the pair} were struck with the sort of ghostly echo which seems to haunt [half - furnished and uninhabited houses]_{864-half - furnished and uninhabited houses} . The verses [he]_{861-the husband} was reading were the following : Why art [thou]_865-thou so vexed , O [my]_0-i soul : and why art [thou]_865-thou so disquieted within [me]_0-i ? [O]_866-o put [thy]_866-o trust in [God]_104-leonard : for [I]_0-i will yet thank [him]_104-leonard , which is the help of [my]_0-i countenance , and [[my]_0-i God]_{867-my god} . And when [he]_{861-the husband} had finished [he]_{861-the husband} shut the book , and sighed with the satisfaction of having done [his]_{861-the husband} duty . The words of holy trust , though perhaps they were not fully understood , carried a faithful peace down into the depths of [his]_{861-the husband} soul . As [he]_{861-the husband} looked up , [he]_{861-the husband} saw [the young couple]_{868-the young couple} standing on the middle of the floor . [He]_{861-the husband} pushed [his]_{861-the husband} iron - rimmed spectacles on to [his]_{861-the husband} forehead , and rose to greet [the daughter of [[his]_{861-the husband} old master and ever - honoured mistress]_{870-his old master and ever - honoured mistress}]_{869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress} . " God bless [thee]_{869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress} , [lass]_4296-lass ; God bless [thee]_{869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress} ! [[My]_81-ruth old eyes]_{4297-my old eyes} are glad to see [thee]_{869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress} again . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth sprang forward to shake the horny hand stretched forward in the action of blessing . [She]_81-ruth pressed it between both of [hers]_81-ruth , as [she]_81-ruth rapidly poured out questions . [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was not altogether comfortable at seeing [one whom [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had already begun to appropriate as [his]_{94-mr bellingham} own , so tenderly familiar with [a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer]_{872-a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer}]_{871-one whom he had already begun to appropriate as his own , so tenderly familiar with a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} sauntered to the window , and looked out into [the grass - grown farm - yard]_{873-the grass - grown farm - yard} ; but [he]_{94-mr bellingham} could not help overhearing some of the conversation , which seemed to [him]_{94-mr bellingham} carried on too much in the tone of equality . " And who 's yon ? "_{[874-the old labourer]} asked [the old labourer]_{874-the old labourer} at last . " Is [he]_{872-a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer} [[your]_{94-mr bellingham} sweetheart]_{4298-your sweetheart} ? [[Your]_{94-mr bellingham} missis 's son]_{4299-your missis 's son} , [I]_{874-the old labourer} reckon . [He]_{4299-your missis 's son} 's [a spruce young chap]_{4300-a spruce young chap} , anyhow . "_{[874-the old labourer]} [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's " blood of all the Howards "_{[94-mr bellingham]} rose and tingled about [his]_{94-mr bellingham} ears , so that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} could not hear [Ruth]_81-ruth 's answer . It began by " [Hush]_115-hush , [Thomas]_100-tom ; pray hush ! "_{[82-mrs mason]} but how it went on [he]_{94-mr bellingham} did not catch . The idea of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} being [[Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's son]_{875-mrs mason 's son} ! It was really too ridiculous ; but , like most things which are " too ridiculous , "_{[82-mrs mason]} it made [him]_{94-mr bellingham} very angry . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} was hardly [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} again when [Ruth]_81-ruth shyly came to the window - recess and asked [him]_{94-mr bellingham} if [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would like to see [the house - place]_{876-the house - place} , into which the front door entered ; [many people]_{4163-many people} thought it very pretty , [she]_81-ruth said , half timidly , for [his]_{94-mr bellingham} face had unconsciously assumed a hard and haughty expression , which [he]_{94-mr bellingham} could not instantly soften down . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} followed [her]_81-ruth , however ; but before [he]_{94-mr bellingham} left [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} [he]_{94-mr bellingham} saw [the old man]_{879-the old man} standing , looking at [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's companion]_{880-ruth 's companion} with a strange , grave air of dissatisfaction . [They]_881-they went along one or two zigzag , damp - smelling stone passages , and then entered [the house - place]_{876-the house - place} , or common sitting - room for [[a farmer]_{728-a farmer} 's family]_{884-a farmer 's family} in [that part of [the country]_{514-the country}]_{885-that part of the country} . The front door opened into [it]_{876-the house - place} , and [several other apartments]_{887-several other apartments} issued out of [it]_{876-the house - place} , such as [the dairy]_{888-the dairy} , [the state bedroom]_{889-the state bedroom} ( which was half - parlour as well ) , and [a small room which had been appropriated to [the late Mrs Hilton]_{108-mrs hilton}]_{890-a small room which had been appropriated to the late mrs hilton} , where [she]_{108-mrs hilton} sat , or more frequently lay , commanding through the open door the comings and goings of [[her]_{108-mrs hilton} household]_{891-her household} . In those days [the house - place]_{876-the house - place} had been [a cheerful room]_{893-a cheerful room} , full of life , with the passing to and fro of [husband]_894-husband , [child]_895-child , and [servants]_831-servants ; with a great merry wood fire crackling and blazing away every evening , and hardly let out in the very heat of summer ; for with the thick stone walls , and the deep window - seats , and the drapery of vine - leaves and ivy , [that room]_{4164-that room} , with [its]_{4164-that room} flag - floor , seemed always to want the sparkle and cheery warmth of a fire . But now the green shadows from without seemed to have become black in the uninhabited desolation . The oaken shovel - board , the heavy dresser , and the carved cupboards , were now dull and damp , which were formerly polished up to the brightness of a looking - glass where the fire - blaze was for ever glinting ; they only added to the oppressive gloom ; the flag - floor was wet with heavy moisture . [Ruth]_81-ruth stood gazing into [the room]_{357-the room} , seeing nothing of what was present . [She]_81-ruth saw a vision of former days -- an evening in the days of [her]_81-ruth childhood ; [[her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} sitting in the " [master]_4301-master 's corner "_{[411-her father]} near the fire , sedately smoking [his]_{411-her father} pipe , while [he]_{411-her father} dreamily watched [[his]_{411-her father} wife]_{737-his wife} and [child]_895-child ; [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} reading to [her]_81-ruth , as [she]_{710-her mother} sat on a little stool at [her]_{710-her mother} feet . It was gone -- all gone into [the land of shadows]_{903-the land of shadows} ; but for the moment it seemed so present in [the old room]_{904-the old room} , that [Ruth]_81-ruth believed [her]_81-ruth actual life to be the dream . Then , still silent , [she]_81-ruth went on into [[[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} 's parlour]_{906-her mother 's parlour} . But there , the bleak look of what had once been full of peace and [mother]_4127-mother 's love , struck cold on [her]_81-ruth heart . [She]_81-ruth uttered a cry , and threw [herself]_81-ruth down by the sofa , hiding [her]_81-ruth face in [her]_81-ruth hands , while [her]_81-ruth frame quivered with [her]_81-ruth repressed sobs . " [Dearest Ruth]_81-ruth , do n't give way so . It can do no good ; it can not bring back the dead , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} said [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , distressed at witnessing [her]_81-ruth distress . " [I]_81-ruth know it can not , "_[81-ruth] murmured [Ruth]_81-ruth ; " and that is why [I]_81-ruth cry . [I]_81-ruth cry because nothing will ever bring [them]_4302-them back again . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth sobbed afresh , but more gently , for [his]_{94-mr bellingham} kind words soothed [her]_81-ruth , and softened , if they could not take away , [her]_81-ruth sense of desolation . " Come away ; [I]_81-ruth can not have [you]_81-ruth stay [here]_4172-here , full of painful associations as [these rooms]_{4304-these rooms} must be . Come"--raising_[81-ruth] [her]_81-ruth with gentle violence--"show [me]_{94-mr bellingham} [[your]_81-ruth little garden]_{4305-your little garden} [you]_81-ruth have often told [me]_{94-mr bellingham} about . Near the window of [this very room]_{4306-this very room} , is it not ? See how well [I]_{94-mr bellingham} remember everything [you]_81-ruth tell [me]_{94-mr bellingham} . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [He]_{94-mr bellingham} led [her]_81-ruth round through [the back part of [the house]_{426-the house}]_{908-the back part of the house} into [the pretty old - fashioned garden]_{910-the pretty old - fashioned garden} . There was a sunny border just under the windows , and clipped box and yew - trees by the grass - plat , further away from [the house]_{426-the house} ; and [she]_81-ruth prattled again of [her]_81-ruth childish adventures and solitary plays . When [they]_912-they turned round [they]_912-they saw [the old man]_{879-the old man} , who had hobbled out with the help of [his]_{879-the old man} stick , and was looking at [them]_912-they with the same grave , sad look of anxiety . [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} spoke rather sharply : " Why does [that old man]_{4307-that old man} follow [us]_912-they about in that way ? It is excessively impertinent of [him]_{4307-that old man} , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} think . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " Oh , do n't call [old Thomas]_100-tom impertinent . [He]_100-tom is so good and kind , [he]_100-tom is like [a father]_{4308-a father} to [me]_{94-mr bellingham} . [I]_{94-mr bellingham} remember sitting on [his]_100-tom knee many and many a time when [I]_{94-mr bellingham} was [a child]_{556-a child} , whilst [he]_100-tom told [me]_{94-mr bellingham} stories out of the ' Pilgrim 's Progress . ' [He]_100-tom taught [me]_{94-mr bellingham} to suck up milk through a straw . [Mamma]_113-mamma was very fond of [him]_100-tom too . [He]_100-tom used to sit with [us]_912-they always in the evenings when [papa]_4310-papa was away at [market]_4311-market , for mamma was rather afraid of having [no man]_{4312-no man} in [the house]_{426-the house} , and used to beg [old Thomas]_100-tom to stay ; and [he]_100-tom would take [me]_{94-mr bellingham} on [his]_100-tom knee , and listen just as attentively as [I]_{94-mr bellingham} did while [mamma]_4143-mamma read aloud . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " [You]_{94-mr bellingham} do n't mean to say [you]_{94-mr bellingham} have sat upon [that old fellow]_{4315-that old fellow} 's knee ? "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " Oh , yes ! many and many a time . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} looked graver than [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had done while witnessing [Ruth]_81-ruth 's passionate emotion in [[[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} 's room]_{785-her mother 's room} . But [he]_{94-mr bellingham} lost [his]_{94-mr bellingham} sense of indignity in admiration of [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} companion]_{916-his companion} as [she]_81-ruth wandered among the flowers , seeking for favourite bushes or plants , to which some history or remembrance was attached . [She]_81-ruth wound in and out in natural , graceful , wavy lines between the luxuriant and overgrown shrubs , which were fragrant with a leafy smell of spring growth ; [she]_81-ruth went on , careless of watching eyes , indeed unconscious , for the time , of [their]_917-their existence . Once [she]_81-ruth stopped to take hold of a spray of jessamine , and softly kiss it ; it had been [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} 's favourite flower . [Old Thomas]_{117-old thomas} was standing by the horse - mount , and was also an observer of all [her]_81-ruth goings - on . But , while [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's feeling was that of passionate admiration mingled with a selfish kind of love , [the old man]_{879-the old man} gazed with tender anxiety , and [his]_{879-the old man} lips moved in words of blessing : " [She]_81-ruth 's [a pretty creature]_{4316-a pretty creature} , with a glint of [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} about [her]_81-ruth ; and [she]_81-ruth 's [the same kind lass]_{4318-the same kind lass} as ever . Not a bit set up with [yon fine manty - maker]_{4319-yon fine manty - maker} 's shop [she]_81-ruth 's in . [I]_{879-the old man} misdoubt [that young fellow]_{4320-that young fellow} though , for all [she]_81-ruth called [him]_{4320-that young fellow} [a real gentleman]_{4321-a real gentleman} , and checked [me]_{879-the old man} when [I]_{879-the old man} asked if [he]_{4320-that young fellow} was [[her]_81-ruth sweetheart]_{4322-her sweetheart} . If [his]_{4320-that young fellow} are not [sweetheart]_{4323-sweetheart} 's looks , [I]_{879-the old man} 've forgotten all [my]_{879-the old man} young days . Here ! [they]_4324-they 're going , [I]_{879-the old man} suppose . Look ! [he]_{879-the old man} wants [her]_81-ruth to go without a word to [the old man]_{879-the old man} ; but [she]_81-ruth is none so changed as that , [I]_{879-the old man} reckon . "_{[879-the old man]} Not [Ruth]_81-ruth , indeed ! [She]_81-ruth never perceived the dissatisfied expression of [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's countenance , visible to [the old man]_{879-the old man} 's keen eye ; but came running up to [Thomas]_{117-old thomas} to send [her]_81-ruth love to [[his]_{879-the old man} wife]_{737-his wife} , and to shake [him]_{879-the old man} many times by the hand . " Tell [Mary]_118-mary [I]_{94-mr bellingham} 'll make [her]_118-mary such a fine gown , as soon as ever [I]_{94-mr bellingham} set up for [myself]_{94-mr bellingham} ; it shall be all in the fashion , big gigot sleeves , that [she]_118-mary shall not know [herself]_118-mary in them ! Mind [you]_{879-the old man} tell [her]_118-mary that , [Thomas]_{117-old thomas} , will [you]_{879-the old man} ? "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " Aye , that [I]_81-ruth will , [lass]_4296-lass ; and [I]_81-ruth reckon [she]_118-mary 'll be pleased to hear [thou]_118-mary hast not forgotten [thy]_118-mary old merry ways . [The Lord]_{4327-the lord} bless [thee]_118-mary -- [the Lord]_{4327-the lord} lift up the light of [His]_{4327-the lord} countenance upon [thee]_118-mary . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth was half - way towards the impatient [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} when [[her]_81-ruth old friend]_{922-her old friend} called [her]_81-ruth back . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} longed to give [her]_81-ruth a warning of the danger that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} thought [she]_81-ruth was in , and yet [he]_{94-mr bellingham} did not know how . When [she]_81-ruth came up , all [he]_{94-mr bellingham} could think of to say was a text ; indeed , the language of the Bible was the language in which [he]_{94-mr bellingham} thought , whenever [his]_{94-mr bellingham} ideas went beyond practical everyday life into expressions of emotion or feeling . " [[My]_923-my dear]_{4145-my dear} , remember the devil goeth about as a roaring lion , seeking whom [he]_{94-mr bellingham} may devour ; remember that , [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_[923-my] The words fell on [her]_81-ruth ear , but gave no definite idea . The utmost [they]_923-my suggested was the remembrance of the dread [she]_81-ruth felt as [a child]_{556-a child} when this verse came into [her]_81-ruth mind , and how [she]_81-ruth used to imagine a lion 's head with glaring eyes peering out of the bushes in [a dark shady part of [the wood]_{926-the wood}]_{925-a dark shady part of the wood} , which , for this reason , [she]_81-ruth had always avoided , and even now could hardly think of without a shudder . [She]_81-ruth never imagined that the grim warning related to [the handsome young man who awaited [her]_81-ruth with a countenance beaming with love]_{927-the handsome young man who awaited her with a countenance beaming with love} , and tenderly drew [her]_81-ruth hand within [his]_{94-mr bellingham} arm . [The old man]_{879-the old man} sighed as [he]_{879-the old man} watched [them]_929-them away . " [The Lord]_{4327-the lord} may help [her]_81-ruth to guide [her]_81-ruth steps aright . [He]_{4327-the lord} may . But [I]_{879-the old man} 'm afeard [she]_81-ruth 's treading in perilous places . [I]_{879-the old man} 'll put [my]_{879-the old man} missis up to going to [the town]_{396-the town} and getting speech of [her]_81-ruth , and telling [her]_81-ruth a bit of [her]_81-ruth danger . [An old motherly woman like [our]_4333-our [Mary]_118-mary]_{4332-an old motherly woman like our mary} will set about it better nor [a stupid fellow like [me]_{879-the old man}]_{4334-a stupid fellow like me} . "_{[879-the old man]} [The poor old labourer]_{930-the poor old labourer} prayed long and earnestly that night for [Ruth]_81-ruth . [He]_{930-the poor old labourer} called it " wrestling for [her]_81-ruth soul ; "_{[930-the poor old labourer]} and [I]_0-i think [his]_{930-the poor old labourer} prayers were heard , for " [God]_104-leonard judgeth not as [man]_661-man judgeth . "_{[930-the poor old labourer]} [Ruth]_81-ruth went on [her]_81-ruth way , all unconscious of the dark phantoms of the future that were gathering around [her]_81-ruth ; [her]_81-ruth melancholy turned , with the pliancy of childish years , at sixteen not yet lost , into a softened manner which was infinitely charming . By - and - by [she]_81-ruth cleared up into sunny happiness . The evening was still and full of mellow light , and the new - born summer was so delicious that , in common with [all young creatures]_{931-all young creatures} , [she]_81-ruth shared its influence and was glad . [They]_932-they stood together at the top of a steep ascent , " the hill "_[932-they] of the hundred . At the summit there was a level space , sixty or seventy yards square , of unenclosed and broken ground , over which the golden bloom of the gorse cast a rich hue , while its delicious scent perfumed the fresh and nimble air . On one side of [this common]_{933-this common} , [the ground]_{934-the ground} sloped down to [a clear bright pond]_{935-a clear bright pond} , in which were mirrored the rough sand - cliffs that rose [abrupt on the opposite bank]_{936-abrupt on the opposite bank} ; hundreds of [martens]_937-martens found [a home there]_{938-a home there} , and were now wheeling over the transparent water , and dipping in [their]_939-their wings in [their]_939-their evening sport . Indeed , all sorts of birds seemed to haunt [the lonely pool]_{940-the lonely pool} ; the water - wagtails were scattered around [its]_{940-the lonely pool} margin , the linnets perched on the topmost sprays of the gorse - bushes , and other hidden warblers sang [their]_939-their vespers on the uneven ground beyond . On [the far side of [the green waste]_{942-the green waste}]_{941-the far side of the green waste} , close by [the road]_{4274-the road} , and well placed for the requirements of horses or [[their]_944-their riders who might be weary with the ascent of [the hill]_{4277-the hill}]_{945-their riders who might be weary with the ascent of the hill} , there was [a public - house]_{947-a public - house} , which was more of [a farm]_{948-a farm} than [an inn]_{949-an inn} . It was [a long , low building]_{950-a long , low building} , rich in dormer - windows on the weather side , which were necessary in such an exposed situation , and with odd projections and unlooked - for gables on every side ; there was [a deep porch]_{951-a deep porch} in front , on whose hospitable benches [a dozen persons]_{952-a dozen persons} might sit and enjoy the balmy air . A noble sycamore grew right before [the house]_{426-the house} , with seats all round [it]_{426-the house} ( " such tents [the patriarchs]_{4336-the patriarchs} loved "_{[119-king charles]} ) ; and a nondescript sign hung from a branch on the side next to [the road]_{4274-the road} , which , being wisely furnished with an interpretation , was found to mean [King Charles]_{119-king charles} in the oak . Near [this comfortable , quiet , unfrequented inn]_{955-this comfortable , quiet , unfrequented inn} , there was [another pond]_{956-another pond} , for [household and farm - yard]_{957-household and farm - yard} purposes , from which the cattle were drinking , before returning to [the fields]_{958-the fields} after [they]_944-their had been milked . [Their]_959-they very motions were so lazy and slow , that they served to fill up the mind with the sensation of dreamy rest . [Ruth]_81-ruth and [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} plunged through the broken ground to regain [the road]_{4274-the road} near [the wayside inn]_{961-the wayside inn} . Hand - in - hand , now pricked by the far - spreading gorse , now ankle - deep in sand ; now pressing the soft , thick heath , which should make so brave an autumn show ; and now over wild thyme and other fragrant herbs , [they]_959-they made [their]_959-they way , with many a merry laugh . Once on [the road]_{4274-the road} , at [the summit]_{963-the summit} , [Ruth]_81-ruth stood silent , in breathless delight at the view before [her]_81-ruth . [The hill]_{4277-the hill} fell suddenly down into [the plain]_{965-the plain} , extending for a dozen miles or more . There was a clump of dark Scotch firs close to them , which cut clear against the western sky , and threw back the nearest levels into distance . [The plain below [them]_959-they]_{966-the plain below them} was richly wooded , and was tinted by the young tender hues of the earliest summer , for all the trees of the wood had donned [their]_967-their leaves except the cautious ash , which here and there gave a soft , pleasant greyness to the landscape . Far away in the champaign were spires , and [towers]_968-towers , and stacks of chimneys belonging to [some distant hidden farm - house]_{969-some distant hidden farm - house} , which were traced downwards through the golden air by the thin columns of blue smoke sent up from the evening fires . The view was bounded by some rising ground in deep purple shadow against the sunset sky . When first [they]_959-they stopped , silent with sighing pleasure , the air seemed full of pleasant noises ; distant church - bells made harmonious music with the little singing - birds near at hand ; nor were the lowings of the cattle , nor the calls of [the farm - servants]_{970-the farm - servants} discordant , for the voices seemed to be hushed by the brooding consciousness of [the Sabbath]_{120-the sabbath} . [They]_959-they stood loitering before [the house]_{426-the house} , quietly enjoying the view . The clock in [the little inn]_{972-the little inn} struck eight , and it sounded clear and sharp in the stillness . " Can it be so late ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [I]_{94-mr bellingham} should not have thought it possible , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} answered [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} . " But , never mind , [you]_81-ruth will be at [home]_4124-home long before nine . Stay , there is [a shorter road]_{4338-a shorter road} , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} know , through [the fields]_{958-the fields} ; just wait a moment , while [I]_{94-mr bellingham} go in and ask the exact way . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [He]_{94-mr bellingham} dropped [Ruth]_81-ruth 's arm , and went into [the public - house]_{973-the public - house} . [A gig]_{974-a gig} had been slowly toiling up [the sandy hill]_{975-the sandy hill} behind , unperceived by [the young couple]_{868-the young couple} , and now it reached the table - land , and was close upon [them]_959-they as [they]_959-they separated . [Ruth]_81-ruth turned round , when the sound of the horse 's footsteps came distinctly as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} reached the level . [She]_81-ruth faced [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} ! [They]_959-they were not ten -- no , not five yards apart . At the same moment [they]_959-they recognised [each other]_{579-each other} , and , what was worse , [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} had clearly seen , with [her]_{82-mrs mason} sharp , needle - like eyes , the attitude in which [Ruth]_81-ruth had stood with [the young man who had just quitted [her]_81-ruth]_{978-the young man who had just quitted her} . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's hand had been lying in [his]_{94-mr bellingham} arm , and fondly held there by [his]_{94-mr bellingham} other hand . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} was careless about the circumstances of temptation into which [the girls]_{414-the girls} entrusted to [her]_{82-mrs mason} as [apprentices]_{980-apprentices} were thrown , but severely intolerant if [their]_{414-the girls} conduct was in any degree influenced by the force of these temptations . [She]_{82-mrs mason} called this intolerance " keeping up the character of [her]_{82-mrs mason} establishment . "_{[82-mrs mason]} It would have been a better and more Christian thing , if [she]_{82-mrs mason} had kept up the character of [[her]_{82-mrs mason} girls]_{981-her girls} by tender vigilance and maternal care . This evening , too , [she]_{82-mrs mason} was in an irritated state of temper . [[Her]_{82-mrs mason} brother]_{982-her brother} had undertaken to drive [her]_{82-mrs mason} round by [Henbury]_16-henbury , in order to give [her]_{82-mrs mason} the unpleasant information of the misbehaviour of [[her]_{82-mrs mason} eldest son]_{983-her eldest son} , who was [an assistant in [[a draper]_{985-a draper} 's shop in [a neighbouring town]_{987-a neighbouring town}]_{986-a draper 's shop in a neighbouring town}]_{984-an assistant in a draper 's shop in a neighbouring town} . [She]_{82-mrs mason} was full of indignation against want of steadiness , though not willing to direct [her]_{82-mrs mason} indignation against the right object -- [[her]_{82-mrs mason} ne'er - do - well darling]_{988-her ne'er - do - well darling} . While [she]_{82-mrs mason} was thus charged with anger ( for [[her]_{82-mrs mason} brother]_{982-her brother} justly defended [[[her]_{82-mrs mason} son]_{990-her son} 's master and [companions]_{992-companions}]_{991-her son 's master and companions} from [her]_{82-mrs mason} attacks ) , [she]_{82-mrs mason} saw [Ruth]_81-ruth standing with [a lover]_{993-a lover} , far away from [home]_4124-home , at such a time in the evening , and [she]_{82-mrs mason} boiled over with intemperate displeasure . " Come here directly , [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} , "_{[82-mrs mason]} [she]_{82-mrs mason} exclaimed , sharply . Then , dropping [her]_{82-mrs mason} voice to low , bitter tones of concentrated wrath , [she]_{82-mrs mason} said to [the trembling , guilty Ruth]_81-ruth : " Do n't attempt to show [your]_81-ruth face at [[my]_{82-mrs mason} house]_{4340-my house} again after this conduct . [I]_{82-mrs mason} saw [you]_81-ruth , and [your]_81-ruth spark , too . [I]_{82-mrs mason} 'll have no slurs on the character of [[my]_{82-mrs mason} apprentices]_{4341-my apprentices} . Do n't say a word . [I]_{82-mrs mason} saw enough . [I]_{82-mrs mason} shall write and tell [[your]_81-ruth guardian]_{4146-your guardian} to - morrow . "_{[82-mrs mason]} The horse started away , for [he]_995-he was impatient to be off , and [Ruth]_81-ruth was left standing there , stony , sick , and pale , as if the lightning had torn up the ground beneath [her]_81-ruth feet . [She]_81-ruth could not go on standing , [she]_81-ruth was so sick and faint ; [she]_81-ruth staggered back to [the broken sand - bank]_{996-the broken sand - bank} , and sank down , and covered [her]_81-ruth face with [her]_81-ruth hands . " [[My]_81-ruth dearest]_{4343-my dearest} [Ruth]_81-ruth ! are [you]_81-ruth ill ? Speak , [darling]_4344-darling ! [[My]_81-ruth love]_{4345-my love} , [[my]_81-ruth love]_{4345-my love} , do speak to [me]_81-ruth ! "_[81-ruth] What tender words after such harsh ones ! They loosened the fountain of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's tears , and [she]_81-ruth cried bitterly . " Oh ! did [you]_81-ruth see [her]_81-ruth -- did [you]_81-ruth hear what [she]_81-ruth said ? "_[81-ruth] " [She]_81-ruth ! Who , [[my]_81-ruth darling]_{4347-my darling} ? Do n't sob so , [Ruth]_81-ruth ; tell [me]_81-ruth what it is . Who has been near [you?--who]_{4348-you?--who} has been speaking to [you]_81-ruth to make [you]_81-ruth cry so ? "_[81-ruth] " Oh , [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} . "_[81-ruth] And there was a fresh burst of sorrow . " [You]_81-ruth do n't say so ! are [you]_81-ruth sure ? [I]_81-ruth was not away five minutes . "_[81-ruth] " Oh , yes , [sir]_4181-sir , [I]_{997-the poor child} 'm quite sure . [She]_81-ruth was so angry ; [she]_81-ruth said [I]_{997-the poor child} must never show [my]_{997-the poor child} face there again . Oh , [dear]_4155-dear ! what shall [I]_{997-the poor child} do ? "_{[997-the poor child]} It seemed to [the poor child]_{997-the poor child} as if [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's words were irrevocable , and , that being so , [she]_{997-the poor child} was shut out from [every house]_{998-every house} . [She]_{997-the poor child} saw how much [she]_{997-the poor child} had done that was deserving of blame , now when it was too late to undo it . [She]_{997-the poor child} knew with what severity and taunts [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} had often treated [her]_{997-the poor child} for involuntary failings , of which [she]_{997-the poor child} had been quite unconscious ; and now [she]_{997-the poor child} had really done wrong , and shrank with terror from the consequences . [Her]_{997-the poor child} eyes were so blinded by the fast - falling tears , [she]_{997-the poor child} did not see ( nor had [she]_{997-the poor child} seen would [she]_{997-the poor child} have been able to interpret ) the change in [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's countenance , as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} stood silently watching [her]_{997-the poor child} . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} was silent so long , that even in [her]_{997-the poor child} sorrow [she]_{997-the poor child} began to wonder that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} did not speak , and to wish to hear [his]_{94-mr bellingham} soothing words once more . " It is very unfortunate , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [he]_{94-mr bellingham} began , at last ; and then [he]_{94-mr bellingham} stopped ; then [he]_{94-mr bellingham} began again : " It is very unfortunate ; for , [you]_{997-the poor child} see , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} did not like to name it to [you]_{997-the poor child} before , but , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} believe -- [I]_{94-mr bellingham} have business , in fact , which obliges [me]_{94-mr bellingham} to go to [town]_666-town to - morrow -- to [London]_3-london , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} mean ; and [I]_{94-mr bellingham} do n't know when [I]_{94-mr bellingham} shall be able to return . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " To [London]_3-london ! "_[81-ruth] cried [Ruth]_81-ruth ; " are [you]_999-me going away ? Oh , [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ! "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth wept afresh , giving [herself]_81-ruth up to the desolate feeling of sorrow , which absorbed all the terror [she]_81-ruth had been experiencing at the idea of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's anger . It seemed to [her]_81-ruth at this moment as though [she]_81-ruth could have borne everything but [his]_999-me departure ; but [she]_81-ruth did not speak again ; and after two or three minutes had elapsed , [he]_999-me spoke -- not in [his]_999-me natural careless voice , but in a sort of constrained , agitated tone . " [I]_999-me can hardly bear the idea of leaving [you]_81-ruth , [[my]_999-me own [Ruth]_81-ruth]_{4352-my own ruth} . In such distress , too ; for where [you]_81-ruth can go [I]_999-me do not know at all . From all [you]_81-ruth have told [me]_999-me of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} , [I]_999-me do n't think [she]_{82-mrs mason} is likely to mitigate [her]_{82-mrs mason} severity in [your]_81-ruth case . "_[999-me] No answer , but tears quietly , incessantly flowing . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's displeasure seemed a distant thing ; [his]_999-me going away was the present distress . [He]_999-me went on : " [Ruth]_81-ruth , would [you]_81-ruth go with [me]_999-me to [London]_3-london ? [[My]_999-me darling]_{4347-my darling} , [I]_999-me can not leave [you]_81-ruth here without a [home]_4124-home ; the thought of leaving [you]_81-ruth at all is pain enough , but in these circumstances -- so friendless , so homeless -- it is impossible . [You]_81-ruth must come with [me]_999-me , love , and trust to [me]_999-me . "_[999-me] Still [she]_{82-mrs mason} did not speak . Remember how young , and innocent , and motherless [she]_{82-mrs mason} was ! It seemed to [her]_{82-mrs mason} as if it would be happiness enough to be with [him]_999-me ; and as for the future , [he]_999-me would arrange and decide for that . The future lay wrapped in a golden mist , which [she]_{82-mrs mason} did not care to penetrate ; but if [he]_999-me , [her]_{82-mrs mason} sun , was out of sight and gone , the golden mist became dark heavy gloom , through which no hope could come . [He]_999-me took [her]_{82-mrs mason} hand . " Will [you]_{82-mrs mason} not come with [me]_999-me ? Do [you]_{82-mrs mason} not love [me]_999-me enough to trust [me]_999-me ? Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[999-me] ( reproachfully ) , " can [you]_{82-mrs mason} not trust [me]_999-me ? "_[999-me] [She]_{82-mrs mason} had stopped crying , but was sobbing sadly . " [I]_999-me can not bear this , love . [Your]_{82-mrs mason} sorrow is absolute pain to [me]_999-me ; but it is worse to feel how indifferent [you]_{82-mrs mason} are -- how little [you]_{82-mrs mason} care about [our]_4355-our separation . "_[999-me] [He]_999-me dropped [her]_{82-mrs mason} hand . [She]_{82-mrs mason} burst into a fresh fit of crying . " [I]_999-me may have to join [[my]_999-me mother]_{4247-my mother} in [Paris]_17-paris ; [I]_999-me do n't know when [I]_999-me shall see [you]_{82-mrs mason} again . Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_[999-me] said [he]_999-me , vehemently , " do [you]_81-ruth love [me]_999-me at all ? "_[999-me] [She]_{82-mrs mason} said something in a very low voice ; [he]_999-me could not hear it , though [he]_999-me bent down [his]_999-me head -- but [he]_999-me took [her]_{82-mrs mason} hand again . " What was it [you]_81-ruth said , love ? Was it not that [you]_81-ruth did love [me]_999-me ? [[My]_999-me darling]_{4347-my darling} , [you]_81-ruth do ! [I]_999-me can tell it by the trembling of this little hand ; then [you]_81-ruth will not suffer [me]_999-me to go away alone and unhappy , most anxious about [you]_81-ruth ? There is no other course open to [you]_81-ruth ; [[my]_999-me poor girl]_{4358-my poor girl} has [no friends]_{690-no friends} to receive [her]_{4358-my poor girl} . [I]_999-me will go [home]_4124-home directly , and return in an hour with [a carriage]_{4361-a carriage} . [You]_81-ruth make [me]_999-me too happy by [your]_81-ruth silence , [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_[999-me] " Oh , what can [I]_81-ruth do ! "_[81-ruth] exclaimed [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , [you]_{94-mr bellingham} should help [me]_81-ruth , and instead of that [you]_{94-mr bellingham} only bewilder [me]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] " How , [[my]_1000-me dearest]_{4343-my dearest} [Ruth]_81-ruth ? Bewilder [you]_81-ruth ! It seems so clear to [me]_1000-me . Look at the case fairly ! Here [you]_81-ruth are , [an orphan]_{4231-an orphan} , with [only one person to love [you]_81-ruth]_{4364-only one person to love you} , poor child!--thrown off , for no fault of [yours]_81-ruth , by [the only creature on whom [you]_81-ruth have a claim]_{4365-the only creature on whom you have a claim} , [that creature]_{4366-that creature} [a tyrannical , inflexible woman]_{4367-a tyrannical , inflexible woman} ; what is more natural ( and , being natural , more right ) than that [you]_81-ruth should throw [yourself]_81-ruth upon the care of [the one who loves [you]_81-ruth dearly -- who would go through fire and water for [you]_81-ruth]_{4368-the one who loves you dearly -- who would go through fire and water for you} -- who would shelter [you]_81-ruth from all harm ? Unless , indeed , as [I]_1000-me suspect , [you]_81-ruth do not care for [him]_{4368-the one who loves you dearly -- who would go through fire and water for you} . If so , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! if [you]_81-ruth do not care for [me]_1000-me , [we]_4369-we had better part -- [I]_1000-me will leave [you]_81-ruth at once ; it will be better for [me]_1000-me to go , if [you]_81-ruth do not care for [me]_1000-me . "_[1000-me] [He]_1000-me said this very sadly ( it seemed so to [Ruth]_81-ruth , at least ) , and made as though [he]_1000-me would have drawn [his]_1000-me hand from [hers]_81-ruth , but now [she]_81-ruth held it with soft force . " Do n't leave [me]_81-ruth , please , [sir]_4181-sir . It is very true [I]_81-ruth have [no friend]_{4371-no friend} but [you]_4181-sir . Do n't leave [me]_81-ruth , please . But , oh ! do tell [me]_81-ruth what [I]_81-ruth must do ! "_[81-ruth] " Will [you]_81-ruth do it if [I]_81-ruth tell [you]_81-ruth ? If [you]_81-ruth will trust [me]_81-ruth , [I]_81-ruth will do [my]_81-ruth very best for [you]_81-ruth . [I]_81-ruth will give [you]_81-ruth [my]_81-ruth best advice . [You]_81-ruth see [your]_81-ruth position . [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} writes and gives [her]_{82-mrs mason} own exaggerated account to [[your]_81-ruth guardian]_{4146-your guardian} ; [he]_{4146-your guardian} is bound by no great love to [you]_81-ruth , from what [I]_81-ruth have heard [you]_81-ruth say , and throws [you]_81-ruth off ; [I]_81-ruth , who might be able to befriend [you]_81-ruth -- through [[my]_81-ruth mother]_{4247-my mother} , perhaps -- [I]_81-ruth , who could at least comfort [you]_81-ruth a little ( could not [I]_81-ruth , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? ) , am away , far away , for an indefinite time ; that is [your]_81-ruth position at present . Now , what [I]_81-ruth advise is this . Come with [me]_81-ruth into [this little inn]_{4374-this little inn} ; [I]_81-ruth will order tea for you--(I am sure [you]_81-ruth require it sadly)--and [I]_81-ruth will leave [you]_81-ruth [there]_332-there , and go [home]_4124-home for [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} . [I]_81-ruth will return in an hour at the latest . Then [we]_4378-we are together , come what may ; that is enough for [me]_81-ruth ; is it not for [you]_81-ruth , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? Say , yes -- say it ever so low , but give [me]_81-ruth the delight of hearing it . [Ruth]_81-ruth , say yes . "_[81-ruth] Low and soft , with much hesitation , came the " Yes ; "_[81-ruth] the fatal word of which [she]_1001-she so little imagined the infinite consequences . The thought of being with [him]_1002-i was all and everything . " How [you]_81-ruth tremble , [[my]_1001-she darling]_{4347-my darling} ! [You]_81-ruth are cold , love ! Come into [the house]_{426-the house} , and [I]_1001-she 'll order tea directly and be off . "_[1001-she] [She]_1001-she rose , and , leaning on [his]_1002-i arm , went into [the house]_{426-the house} . [She]_1001-she was shaking and dizzy with the agitation of the last hour . [He]_1002-i spoke to [the civil farmer - landlord]_{1004-the civil farmer - landlord} , who conducted [them]_1005-they into a neat parlour , with windows opening into [the garden at the back of [the house]_{426-the house}]_{1006-the garden at the back of the house} . [They]_1005-they had admitted much of the evening 's fragrance through [their]_1005-they open casements , before [they]_1005-they were hastily closed by [the attentive host]_{1008-the attentive host} . " Tea , directly , for [this lady]_{4381-this lady} ! "_{[1009-the landlord]} [The landlord]_{1009-the landlord} vanished . " Dearest [Ruth]_81-ruth , [I]_1002-i must go ; there is not an instant to be lost ; promise [me]_1002-i to take some tea , for [you]_1010-you are shivering all over , and deadly pale with the fright that [abominable woman]_{4382-abominable woman} has given [you]_1010-you . [I]_1002-i must go ; [I]_1002-i shall be back in half an hour -- and then no more partings , [darling]_4344-darling . "_[1002-i] [He]_1002-i kissed [her]_1010-you pale cold face , and went away . [The room]_{357-the room} whirled round before [Ruth]_81-ruth ; it was a dream -- a strange , varying , shifting dream -- with [the old home of [her]_81-ruth childhood]_{1012-the old home of her childhood} for one scene , with the terror of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} 's unexpected appearance for another ; and then , strangest , dizziest , happiest of all , there was the consciousness of [his]_1002-i love , who was all [the world]_{506-the world} to [her]_81-ruth ; and the remembrance of the tender words , which still kept up their low soft echo in [her]_81-ruth heart . [Her]_81-ruth head ached so much that [she]_81-ruth could hardly see ; even the dusky twilight was a dazzling glare to [her]_81-ruth poor eyes ; and when [the daughter of [the house]_{426-the house}]_{1014-the daughter of the house} brought in the sharp light of the candles , preparatory for tea , [Ruth]_81-ruth hid [her]_81-ruth face in the sofa pillows with a low exclamation of pain . " Does [your]_81-ruth head ache , [miss]_4384-miss ? "_{[1016-the girl]} asked [the girl]_{1016-the girl} , in a gentle , sympathising voice . " Let [me]_81-ruth make [you]_81-ruth some tea , [miss]_4384-miss , it will do [you]_81-ruth good . Many 's the time [poor mother]_{4386-poor mother} 's headaches were cured by good strong tea . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth murmured acquiescence ; [the young girl]_{1017-the young girl} ( about [Ruth]_81-ruth 's own age , but who was [the mistress of [the little establishment]_{1019-the little establishment}]_{1018-the mistress of the little establishment} , owing to [[her]_{1017-the young girl} mother]_{710-her mother} 's death ) made tea , and brought [Ruth]_81-ruth a cup to the sofa where [she]_{1017-the young girl} lay . [Ruth]_81-ruth was feverish and thirsty , and eagerly drank it off , although [she]_81-ruth could not touch the bread and butter which [the girl]_{1016-the girl} offered [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth felt better and fresher , though [she]_81-ruth was still faint and weak . " Thank [you]_{1016-the girl} , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Do n't let [me]_81-ruth keep [you]_{1016-the girl} ; perhaps [you]_{1016-the girl} are busy . [You]_{1016-the girl} have been very kind , and the tea has done [me]_81-ruth a great deal of good . "_[81-ruth] [The girl]_{1016-the girl} left [the room]_{357-the room} . [Ruth]_81-ruth became as hot as [she]_81-ruth had previously been cold , and went and opened the window , and leant out into the still , sweet , evening air . The bush of sweetbrier , underneath the window , scented [the place]_{444-the place} , and the delicious fragrance reminded [her]_81-ruth of [[her]_81-ruth old home]_{1025-her old home} . [I]_0-i think scents affect and quicken the memory more than either sights or sounds ; for [Ruth]_81-ruth had instantly before [her]_81-ruth eyes the little garden beneath the window of [[[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} 's room]_{785-her mother 's room} , with [the old man]_{879-the old man} leaning on [his]_{879-the old man} stick , watching [her]_81-ruth , just as [he]_{879-the old man} had done , not three hours before , on that very afternoon . " [Dear old Thomas]_{117-old thomas} ! [He]_{879-the old man} and [Mary]_118-mary would take [me]_1029-i in , [I]_1029-i think ; [they]_4387-them would love [me]_1029-i all the more if [I]_1029-i were cast off . And [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} would , perhaps , not be so very long away ; and [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would know where to find [me]_1029-i if [I]_1029-i stayed at [Milham Grange]_{15-milham grange} . Oh , would it not be better to go to [them]_4387-them ? [I]_1029-i wonder if [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would be very sorry ! [I]_1029-i could not bear to make [him]_{94-mr bellingham} sorry , so kind as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} has been to [me]_1029-i ; but [I]_1029-i do believe it would be better to go to [them]_4387-them , and ask [their]_4387-them advice , at any rate . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} would follow [me]_1029-i [there]_332-there ; and [I]_1029-i could talk over what [I]_1029-i had better do , with [the three best friends [I]_1029-i have in [the world]_{506-the world}]_{4389-the three best friends i have in the world} -- [the only friends [I]_1029-i have]_{4391-the only friends i have} . "_[1029-i] [She]_1029-i put on [her]_1029-i bonnet , and opened the parlour - door ; but then [she]_1029-i saw the square figure of [the landlord]_{1009-the landlord} standing at [the open house]_{1031-the open house} - door , smoking [his]_{1009-the landlord} evening pipe , and looming large and distinct against the dark air and [landscape beyond]_{1032-landscape beyond} . [Ruth]_81-ruth remembered the cup of tea that [she]_81-ruth had drank ; it must be paid for , and [she]_81-ruth had no money with [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth feared that [he]_{1009-the landlord} would not let [her]_81-ruth quit [the house]_{426-the house} without paying . [She]_81-ruth thought that [she]_81-ruth would leave a note for [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , saying where [she]_81-ruth was gone , and how [she]_81-ruth had left [the house]_{426-the house} in debt , for ( like [a child]_{556-a child} ) all dilemmas appeared of equal magnitude to [her]_81-ruth ; and the difficulty of passing [the landlord]_{1009-the landlord} while [he]_{1009-the landlord} stood there , and of giving [him]_{1009-the landlord} an explanation of the circumstances ( as far as such explanation was due to [him]_{1009-the landlord} ) , appeared insuperable , and as awkward , and fraught with inconvenience , as far more serious situations . [She]_81-ruth kept peeping out of [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} , after [she]_81-ruth had written [her]_81-ruth little pencil - note , to see if the outer door was still obstructed . There [he]_{1009-the landlord} stood , motionless , enjoying [his]_{1009-the landlord} pipe , and looking out into the darkness which gathered thick with the coming night . The fumes of the tobacco were carried by the air into [the house]_{426-the house} , and brought back [Ruth]_81-ruth 's sick headache . [Her]_81-ruth energy left [her]_81-ruth ; [she]_81-ruth became stupid and languid , and incapable of spirited exertion ; [she]_81-ruth modified [her]_81-ruth plan of action , to the determination of asking [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} to take [her]_81-ruth to [Milham Grange]_{15-milham grange} , to the care of [[her]_81-ruth humble friends]_{1039-her humble friends} , instead of to [London]_3-london . And [she]_81-ruth thought , in [her]_81-ruth simplicity , that [he]_{1009-the landlord} would instantly consent when [he]_{1009-the landlord} had heard [her]_81-ruth reasons . [She]_81-ruth started up . [A carriage]_{4361-a carriage} dashed up to the door . [She]_81-ruth hushed [her]_81-ruth beating heart , and tried to stop [her]_81-ruth throbbing head to listen . [She]_81-ruth heard [him]_{1009-the landlord} speaking to [the landlord]_{1009-the landlord} , though [she]_81-ruth could not distinguish what [he]_{1009-the landlord} said ; heard the jingling of money , and , in another moment , [he]_{1009-the landlord} was in [the room]_{357-the room} , and had taken [her]_81-ruth arm to lead [her]_81-ruth to [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} . " Oh , [sir]_4181-sir ! [I]_81-ruth want [you]_4181-sir to take [me]_81-ruth to [Milham Grange]_{15-milham grange} , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , holding back . " [Old Thomas]_{117-old thomas} would give [me]_81-ruth [a home]_{4393-a home} . "_[81-ruth] " Well , [dearest]_4394-dearest , [we]_4395-we 'll talk of all that in [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} ; [I]_1044-i am sure [you]_81-ruth will listen to reason . Nay , if [you]_81-ruth will go to [Milham]_12-milham [you]_81-ruth must go in [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} , "_[1044-i] said [he]_1044-i , hurriedly . [She]_81-ruth was little accustomed to oppose the wishes of [any one]_{425-any one} -- obedient and docile by nature , and unsuspicious and innocent of any harmful consequences . [She]_81-ruth entered [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} , and drove towards [London]_3-london . CHAPTER V In [North Wales]_{18-north wales} The June of 18 - - had been glorious and sunny , and full of flowers ; but July came in with pouring rain , and it was a gloomy time for [travellers]_{1047-travellers} and for [weather - bound tourists]_{1048-weather - bound tourists} , who lounged away the days in touching up sketches , dressing flies , and reading over again for the twentieth time the few volumes [they]_{1048-weather - bound tourists} had brought with [them]_{1048-weather - bound tourists} . A number of the _ Times _ , five days old , had been in constant demand in [all the sitting - rooms of [a certain inn in [a little mountain village of North Wales]_{1051-a little mountain village of north wales}]_{1050-a certain inn in a little mountain village of north wales}]_{1049-all the sitting - rooms of a certain inn in a little mountain village of north wales} , through a long July morning . [The valleys around]_{1052-the valleys around} were filled with thick cold mist , which had crept up [the hillsides]_{1053-the hillsides} till [the hamlet]_{1054-the hamlet} itself was folded in [its]_{1054-the hamlet} white dense curtain , and from [the inn]_{1055-the inn} - windows nothing was seen of the beautiful scenery around . [The tourists who thronged [the rooms]_{1057-the rooms}]_{1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms} might as well have been " wi ' [[their]_{1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms} dear little bairnies at hame]_{4398-their dear little bairnies at hame} ; "_{[1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms]} and so [some of [them]_{1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms}]_{1058-some of them} seemed to think , as [they]_{1058-some of them} stood , with [their]_{1058-some of them} faces flattened against the window - panes , looking abroad in search of an event to fill up the dreary time . How many dinners were hastened that day , by way of getting through the morning , let [the poor Welsh kitchen - maid]_{1059-the poor welsh kitchen - maid} say ! [The very village children]_{1060-the very village children} kept indoors ; or if [one or two more adventurous]_{1061-one or two more adventurous} stole out into [the land of temptation and puddles]_{1062-the land of temptation and puddles} , [they]_{1060-the very village children} were soon clutched back by [angry and busy mothers]_{1063-angry and busy mothers} . It was only four o'clock , but [most of [the inmates of [the inn]_{1055-the inn}]_{1065-the inmates of the inn}]_{1064-most of the inmates of the inn} thought it must be between six and seven , the morning had seemed so long -- so many hours had passed since dinner -- when [a Welsh car , drawn by two horses]_{1067-a welsh car , drawn by two horses} , rattled briskly up to the door . Every window of [the ark]_{1068-the ark} was crowded with faces at the sound ; the leathern curtains were undrawn to [their]_{1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms} curious eyes , and out sprang [a gentleman , who carefully assisted [a well - cloaked - up lady]_{1070-a well - cloaked - up lady} into [the little inn]_{972-the little inn} , despite [the landlady]_{1072-the landlady} 's assurances of not having [a room to spare]_{1073-a room to spare}]_{1069-a gentleman , who carefully assisted a well - cloaked - up lady into the little inn , despite the landlady 's assurances of not having a room to spare} . [The gentleman]_{469-the gentleman} ( it was [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ) paid no attention to the speeches of [the hostess]_{1075-the hostess} , but quietly superintended the unpacking of [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} , and paid the postillion ; then , turning round with [his]_{469-the gentleman} face to the light , [he]_{469-the gentleman} spoke to [the landlady , whose voice had been rising during the last five minutes]_{1077-the landlady , whose voice had been rising during the last five minutes} : " Nay , [Jenny]_85-jenny , [you]_85-jenny 're strangely altered , if [you]_85-jenny can turn out [an old friend]_{4399-an old friend} on such an evening as this . If [I]_{469-the gentleman} remember right , [Pen trê Voelas]_{26-pen trê voelas} is twenty miles across [the bleakest mountain road [I]_{469-the gentleman} ever saw]_{4400-the bleakest mountain road i ever saw} . "_{[469-the gentleman]} " Indeed , [sir]_4181-sir , and [I]_{469-the gentleman} did not know [you]_4181-sir ; [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , [I]_{469-the gentleman} believe . Indeed , [sir]_4181-sir , Pen trê [Voelas]_19-voelas is not above eighteen miles -- [we]_4403-we only charge for eighteen ; it may not be much above seventeen ; and [we]_4403-we 're quite full , indeed , more 's the pity . "_{[469-the gentleman]} " Well , but [Jenny]_85-jenny , to oblige [me]_{469-the gentleman} , [an old friend]_{4399-an old friend} , [you]_85-jenny can find lodgings out for [some of [[your]_85-jenny people]_{4406-your people}]_{4405-some of your people} -- [the house across]_{4407-the house across} , for instance . "_{[469-the gentleman]} " Indeed , [sir]_4181-sir , and it 's at liberty ; perhaps [you]_85-jenny would not mind lodging [there]_332-there [yourself]_85-jenny ; [I]_{469-the gentleman} could get [you]_85-jenny [the best rooms]_{4410-the best rooms} , and send over a trifle or so of furniture , if [they]_{4410-the best rooms} wern't as [you]_85-jenny 'd wish [them]_{4410-the best rooms} to be . "_{[469-the gentleman]} " No , [Jenny]_85-jenny ! here [I]_{469-the gentleman} stay . [You]_4181-sir 'll not induce [me]_{469-the gentleman} to venture over into [those rooms]_{4411-those rooms} , whose dirt [I]_{469-the gentleman} know of old . Ca n't [you]_4181-sir persuade [some one who is not [an old friend to move across]_{4413-an old friend to move across}]_{4412-some one who is not an old friend to move across} ? Say , if [you]_85-jenny like , that [I]_{469-the gentleman} had written beforehand to bespeak [the rooms]_{1057-the rooms} . Oh ! [I]_{469-the gentleman} know [you]_85-jenny can manage it -- [I]_{469-the gentleman} know [your]_85-jenny good - natured ways . "_{[469-the gentleman]} " Indeed , [sir]_4181-sir -- well ! [I]_{469-the gentleman} 'll see , if [you]_85-jenny and [the lady]_{470-the lady} will just step into [the back parlour]_{4417-the back parlour} , [sir]_4181-sir -- there 's [no one there]_{4419-no one there} just now ; [the lady]_{470-the lady} is keeping [her]_{470-the lady} bed to - day for a cold , and [the gentleman]_{469-the gentleman} is having a rubber at whist in number three . [I]_{469-the gentleman} 'll see what [I]_{469-the gentleman} can do . "_{[469-the gentleman]} " Thank [you]_85-jenny , thank [you]_85-jenny . Is there a fire ? if not , one must be lighted . Come , [Ruthie]_81-ruth , come . "_[1078-he] [He]_1078-he led the way into [a large , bow - windowed room , which looked gloomy enough that afternoon]_{1079-a large , bow - windowed room , which looked gloomy enough that afternoon} , but which [I]_0-i have seen bright and buoyant with youth and hope within , and sunny lights creeping down [the purple mountain slope]_{1080-the purple mountain slope} , and stealing over [the green , soft meadows]_{1081-the green , soft meadows} , till [they]_1082-they reached [the little garden]_{1083-the little garden} , full of roses and lavender - bushes , lying close under the window . [I]_0-i have seen -- but [I]_0-i shall see no more . " [I]_81-ruth did not know [you]_1078-he had been [here]_4172-here before , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , as [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} helped [her]_81-ruth off with [her]_81-ruth cloak . " Oh , yes ; three years ago [I]_{94-mr bellingham} was here on a reading party . [We]_4423-we were [here]_4172-here above two months , attracted by [Jenny]_85-jenny 's kind heart and oddities ; but driven away finally by the insufferable dirt . However , for a week or two it wo n't much signify . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " But can [she]_85-jenny take [us]_4423-we in , [sir]_4181-sir ? [I]_{94-mr bellingham} thought [I]_{94-mr bellingham} heard [her]_85-jenny saying [[her]_85-jenny house]_{4426-her house} was full . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " Oh , yes -- [I]_{94-mr bellingham} dare say it is ; but [I]_{94-mr bellingham} shall pay [her]_85-jenny well ; [she]_85-jenny can easily make excuses to [some poor devil]_{4427-some poor devil} , and send [him]_{4427-some poor devil} over to the other side ; and , for a day or two , so that [we]_4423-we have shelter , it does not much signify . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " Could not [we]_4423-we go to [the house]_{426-the house} on the other side , [sir]_4181-sir ? "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " And have [our]_4423-we meals carried across to [us]_4423-we in a half - warm state , to say nothing of having [no one]_{517-no one} to scold for bad cooking ! [You]_81-ruth do n't know [these out - of - the - way Welsh inns]_{4431-these out - of - the - way welsh inns} yet , [Ruthie]_81-ruth . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " No ! [I]_81-ruth only thought it seemed rather unfair-- "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , gently ; but [she]_81-ruth did not end [her]_81-ruth sentence , for [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} formed [his]_{94-mr bellingham} lips into a whistle , and walked to the window to survey the rain . The remembrance of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} former good payment prompted many little lies of which [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} was guilty that afternoon , before [she]_{122-mrs morgan} succeeded in turning out [a gentleman]_{1084-a gentleman} and [lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing Saturday at the outside]_{1085-lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing saturday at the outside} , so , if [they]_{1085-lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing saturday at the outside} did fulfil [their]_{1085-lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing saturday at the outside} threat , and leave on the next day , [she]_{122-mrs morgan} would be [no very great loser]_{1086-no very great loser} . These household arrangements complete , [she]_{122-mrs morgan} solaced [herself]_{122-mrs morgan} with tea in [[her]_{122-mrs morgan} own little parlour]_{1087-her own little parlour} , and shrewdly reviewed the circumstances of [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's arrival . " Indeed ! and [she]_{122-mrs morgan} 's not [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} wife]_{737-his wife} , "_[85-jenny] thought [Jenny]_85-jenny , " that 's clear as day . [[His]_{94-mr bellingham} wife]_{737-his wife} would have brought [[her]_{737-his wife} maid]_{4434-her maid} , and given [herself]_{737-his wife} twice as many airs about [the sitting - rooms]_{4435-the sitting - rooms} ; while [this poor miss]_{4436-this poor miss} never spoke , but kept as still as a mouse . Indeed , and [young men]_{4437-young men} will be [young men]_{4437-young men} ; and , as long as [[their]_{4437-young men} fathers]_{4439-their fathers} and [mothers]_4440-mothers shut [their]_{4437-young men} eyes , it 's none of [my]_85-jenny business to go about asking questions . "_[85-jenny] In this manner [they]_1088-we settled down to a week 's enjoyment of [that Alpine country]_{1089-that alpine country} . It was most true enjoyment to [Ruth]_81-ruth . It was opening a new sense ; vast ideas of beauty and grandeur filled [her]_81-ruth mind at the sight of [the mountains]_{1090-the mountains} now first beheld in full majesty . [She]_81-ruth was almost overpowered by the vague and solemn delight ; but by - and - by [her]_81-ruth love for [them]_1088-we equalled [her]_81-ruth awe , and in the night - time [she]_81-ruth would softly rise , and steal to the window to see the white moonlight , which gave a new aspect to [the everlasting hills that girdle [the mountain village]_{1092-the mountain village}]_{1091-the everlasting hills that girdle the mountain village} . [Their]_1088-we breakfast - hour was late , in accordance with [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's tastes and habits ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth was up betimes , and out and away , brushing the dew - drops from the short crisp grass ; the lark sung high above [her]_81-ruth head , and [she]_81-ruth knew not if [she]_81-ruth moved or stood still , for the grandeur of [this beautiful earth]_{1093-this beautiful earth} absorbed all idea of separate and individual existence . Even rain was a pleasure to [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth sat in the window - seat of [[their]_1088-we parlour]_{1094-their parlour} ( [she]_81-ruth would have gone out gladly , but that such a proceeding annoyed [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , who usually at such times lounged away the listless hours on a sofa , and relieved [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} by abusing the weather ) ; [she]_81-ruth saw the swift - fleeting showers come athwart the sunlight like a rush of silver arrows ; [she]_81-ruth watched the purple darkness on [the heathery mountain - side]_{1095-the heathery mountain - side} , and then the pale golden gleam which succeeded . There was no change or alteration of nature that had not its own peculiar beauty in the eyes of [Ruth]_81-ruth ; but if [she]_81-ruth had complained of the changeable climate , [she]_81-ruth would have pleased [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} more ; [her]_81-ruth admiration and [her]_81-ruth content made [him]_{94-mr bellingham} angry , until [her]_81-ruth pretty motions and loving eyes soothed down [his]_{94-mr bellingham} impatience . " Really , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [he]_{94-mr bellingham} exclaimed one day , when [they]_1088-we had been imprisoned by rain a whole morning , " one would think [you]_81-ruth had never seen a shower of rain before ; it quite wearies [me]_{94-mr bellingham} to see [you]_81-ruth sitting there watching this detestable weather with such a placid countenance ; and for the last two hours [you]_81-ruth have said nothing more amusing or interesting than--'Oh , how beautiful ! ' or , ' There 's another cloud coming across [Moel Wynn]_{123-moel wynn} . ' "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [Ruth]_81-ruth left [her]_81-ruth seat very gently , and took up [her]_81-ruth work . [She]_81-ruth wished [she]_81-ruth had the gift of being amusing ; it must be dull for [a man accustomed to all kinds of active employments to be shut up in [the house]_{426-the house}]_{1096-a man accustomed to all kinds of active employments to be shut up in the house} . [She]_81-ruth was recalled from [her]_81-ruth absolute self - forgetfulness . What could [she]_81-ruth say to interest [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ? While [she]_81-ruth thought , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} spoke again : " [I]_{94-mr bellingham} remember when [we]_1088-we were reading here three years ago , [we]_1088-we had a week of just such weather as this ; but [Howard]_124-howard and [Johnson]_125-johnson were [capital whist players]_{4441-capital whist players} , and [Wilbraham]_{126-wilbraham} not bad , so [we]_1088-we got through the days famously . Can [you]_81-ruth play _ écarté _ , [Ruth]_81-ruth , or picquet ? "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " No , [sir]_4181-sir ; [I]_81-ruth have sometimes played at beggar - [[my]_81-ruth - neighbour]_{4443-my - neighbour} , "_[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]_81-ruth , humbly , regretting [her]_81-ruth own deficiencies . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} murmured impatiently , and there was silence for another half - hour . Then [he]_{94-mr bellingham} sprang up , and rung the bell violently . " Ask [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} for a pack of cards . [Ruthie]_81-ruth , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} 'll teach [you]_81-ruth _ écarté _ , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} said [he]_{94-mr bellingham} . But [Ruth]_81-ruth was stupid , not so good as [a dummy]_{1098-a dummy} , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} said ; and it was no fun betting against [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} . So the cards were flung across the table -- on the floor -- anywhere . [Ruth]_81-ruth picked them up . As [she]_81-ruth rose , [she]_81-ruth sighed a little with the depression of spirits consequent upon [her]_81-ruth own want of power to amuse and occupy [him]_{94-mr bellingham} [she]_81-ruth loved . " [You]_81-ruth 're pale , love ! "_{[94-mr bellingham]} said [he]_{94-mr bellingham} , half repenting of [his]_{94-mr bellingham} anger at [her]_81-ruth blunders over the cards . " Go out before dinner ; [you]_81-ruth know [you]_81-ruth do n't mind this cursed weather ; and see that [you]_81-ruth come [home]_4124-home full of adventures to relate . Come , [little blockhead]_{4445-little blockhead} ! give [me]_81-ruth a kiss , and begone . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth left [the room]_{357-the room} with a feeling of relief ; for if [he]_{94-mr bellingham} were dull without [her]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth should not feel responsible , and unhappy at [her]_81-ruth own stupidity . The open air , that kind soothing balm which gentle mother Nature offers to [us]_1100-us all in [our]_1100-us seasons of depression , relieved [her]_81-ruth . The rain had ceased , though every leaf and blade was loaded with trembling glittering drops . [Ruth]_81-ruth went down to [the circular dale]_{1101-the circular dale} , into which [the brown - foaming mountain river fell and made a deep pool]_{1102-the brown - foaming mountain river fell and made a deep pool} , and , after resting there for a while , ran on between broken rocks down to [the valley below]_{1103-the valley below} . [The waterfall]_{1104-the waterfall} was magnificent , as [she]_81-ruth had anticipated ; [she]_81-ruth longed to extend [her]_81-ruth walk to [the other side of [the stream]_{553-the stream}]_{1105-the other side of the stream} , so [she]_81-ruth sought the stepping - stones , the usual crossing - place , which were over - shadowed by trees , a few yards from [the pool]_{1107-the pool} . The waters ran high and rapidly , as busy as life , between the pieces of grey rock ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth had no fear , and went lightly and steadily on . About the middle , however , there was a great gap ; either one of the stones was so covered with water as to be invisible , or it had been washed lower down ; at any rate , the spring from stone to stone was long , and [Ruth]_81-ruth hesitated for a moment before taking it . The sound of rushing waters was in [her]_81-ruth ears to the exclusion of every other noise ; [her]_81-ruth eyes were on the current running swiftly below [her]_81-ruth feet ; and thus [she]_81-ruth was startled to see [a figure close before [her]_81-ruth on one of the stones]_{1108-a figure close before her on one of the stones} , and to hear a voice offering help . [She]_81-ruth looked up and saw [a man , who was apparently long past middle life , and of the stature of [a dwarf]_{1110-a dwarf}]_{1109-a man , who was apparently long past middle life , and of the stature of a dwarf} ; a second glance accounted for the low height of [the speaker]_{1111-the speaker} , for then [she]_81-ruth saw [he]_{1111-the speaker} was deformed . As the consciousness of this infirmity came into [her]_81-ruth mind , it must have told itself in [her]_81-ruth softened eyes , for a faint flush of colour came into the pale face of [the deformed gentleman]_{1112-the deformed gentleman} , as [he]_{1111-the speaker} repeated [his]_{1111-the speaker} words : " The water is very rapid ; will [you]_81-ruth take [my]_{1111-the speaker} hand ? Perhaps [I]_{1111-the speaker} can help [you]_81-ruth . "_{[1111-the speaker]} [Ruth]_81-ruth accepted the offer , and with this assistance [she]_81-ruth was across in a moment . [He]_{1111-the speaker} made way for [her]_81-ruth to precede [him]_{1111-the speaker} in [the narrow wood path]_{1113-the narrow wood path} , and then silently followed [her]_81-ruth up [the glen]_{1114-the glen} . When [they]_1115-they had passed out of the wood into [the pasture - land beyond]_{1116-the pasture - land beyond} , [Ruth]_81-ruth once more turned to mark [him]_{1111-the speaker} . [She]_81-ruth was struck afresh with the mild beauty of the face , though there was something in the countenance which told of the body 's deformity , something more and beyond the pallor of habitual ill - health , something of a quick spiritual light in the deep set - eyes , a sensibility about the mouth ; but altogether , though a peculiar , it was a most attractive face . " Will [you]_81-ruth allow [me]_1115-they to accompany [you]_81-ruth if [you]_81-ruth are going the round by [Cwm Dhu]_{20-cwm dhu} , as [I]_1115-they imagine [you]_81-ruth are ? The hand - rail is blown away from the little wooden bridge by the storm last night , and the rush of waters below may make [you]_81-ruth dizzy ; and it is really dangerous to fall there , [the stream]_{553-the stream} is so deep . "_[1115-they] [They]_1115-they walked on without much speech . [She]_81-ruth wondered who [[her]_81-ruth companion]_{1117-her companion} might be . [She]_81-ruth should have known [him]_{1111-the speaker} , if [she]_81-ruth had seen [him]_{1111-the speaker} among [the strangers at [the inn]_{1055-the inn}]_{1118-the strangers at the inn} ; and yet [he]_{1111-the speaker} spoke English too well to be [a Welshman]_{1120-a welshman} ; [he]_{1111-the speaker} knew [the country]_{514-the country} and [the paths]_{1122-the paths} so perfectly , [he]_{1111-the speaker} must be [a resident]_{1123-a resident} ; and so [she]_81-ruth tossed [him]_{1111-the speaker} from [England]_21-england to [Wales]_22-wales and back again in [her]_81-ruth imagination . " [I]_{1111-the speaker} only came here yesterday , "_{[1111-the speaker]} said [he]_{1111-the speaker} , as a widening in [the path]_{806-the path} permitted [them]_1125-them to walk abreast . " Last night [I]_{1111-the speaker} went to [the higher waterfalls]_{4447-the higher waterfalls} ; [they]_{4447-the higher waterfalls} are most splendid . "_{[1111-the speaker]} " Did [you]_{1111-the speaker} go out in all that rain ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , timidly . " Oh , yes . Rain never hinders [me]_81-ruth from walking . Indeed , it gives a new beauty to [such a country]_{4448-such a country} as this . Besides , [my]_81-ruth time for [my]_81-ruth excursion is so short , [I]_81-ruth can not afford to waste a day . "_[81-ruth] " Then , [you]_{1111-the speaker} do not live [here]_4172-here ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . " No ! [[my]_81-ruth home]_{4450-my home} is in a very different place . [I]_81-ruth live in [a busy town]_{4451-a busy town} , where at times it is difficult to feel the truth that There are in this loud stunning tide Of human care and crime , With whom the melodies abide Of th ' everlasting chime ; Who carry music in [their]_4452-their heart Through [dusky lane]_{4453-dusky lane} and [crowded mart]_{4454-crowded mart} , Plying [their]_4452-their task with busier feet , Because [their]_4452-their secret souls a holy strain repeat . [I]_81-ruth have an annual holiday , which [I]_81-ruth generally spend in [Wales]_22-wales ; and often in [this immediate neighbourhood]_{4455-this immediate neighbourhood} . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth do not wonder at [your]_{1111-the speaker} choice , "_[81-ruth] replied [Ruth]_81-ruth . " It is [a beautiful country]_{4456-a beautiful country} . "_[81-ruth] " It is , indeed ; and [I]_1126-he have been inoculated by [an old innkeeper at [Conway]_23-conway with a love for [its]_22-wales people]_{4457-an old innkeeper at conway with a love for its people} , and history , and traditions . [I]_1126-he have picked up enough of the language to understand many of [their]_22-wales legends ; and some are very fine and awe - inspiring , others very poetic and fanciful . "_[1126-he] [Ruth]_81-ruth was too shy to keep up the conversation by any remark of [her]_81-ruth own , although [his]_1126-he gentle , pensive manner was very winning . " For instance , "_[1126-he] said [he]_1126-he , touching a long bud - laden stem of fox - glove in the hedge - side , at the bottom of which one or two crimson - speckled flowers were bursting from their green sheaths , " [I]_1126-he dare say , [you]_81-ruth do n't know what makes this fox - glove bend and sway so gracefully . [You]_81-ruth think it is blown by the wind , do n't [you]_81-ruth ? "_[1126-he] [He]_1126-he looked at [her]_81-ruth with a grave smile , which did not enliven [his]_1126-he thoughtful eyes , but gave an inexpressible sweetness to [his]_1126-he face . " [I]_81-ruth always thought it was the wind . What is it ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , innocently . " Oh , [the Welsh]_{127-the welsh} tell [you]_81-ruth that this flower is sacred to the fairies , and that it has the power of recognising [them]_22-wales , and [all spiritual beings who pass by]_{4458-all spiritual beings who pass by} , and that it bows in deference to [them]_22-wales as [they]_22-wales waft along . Its Welsh name is [Maneg Ellyllyn]_{128-maneg ellyllyn} -- [the good people]_{4459-the good people} 's glove ; and hence , [I]_81-ruth imagine , [our]_1127-our folk's - glove or fox - glove . "_[81-ruth] " It 's a very pretty fancy , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , much interested , and wishing that [he]_1126-he would go on , without expecting [her]_81-ruth to reply . But [they]_1127-our were already at [the wooden bridge]_{1128-the wooden bridge} ; [he]_1126-he led [her]_81-ruth across , and then , bowing [his]_1126-he adieu , [he]_1126-he had taken a different path even before [Ruth]_81-ruth had thanked [him]_1126-he for [his]_1126-he attention . It was an adventure to tell [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , however ; and it roused and amused [him]_1126-he till dinner - time came , after which [he]_1126-he sauntered forth with a cigar . " [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[1126-he] said [he]_1126-he , when [he]_1126-he returned , " [I]_1126-he 've seen [[your]_81-ruth little hunchback]_{4460-your little hunchback} . [He]_{4460-your little hunchback} looks like [Riquet - with - the - Tuft]_{4461-riquet - with - the - tuft} . [He]_{4460-your little hunchback} 's not [a gentleman]_{1084-a gentleman} , though . If it had not been for [his]_{4460-your little hunchback} deformity , [I]_1126-he should not have made [him]_{4460-your little hunchback} out from [your]_81-ruth description ; [you]_81-ruth called [him]_{4460-your little hunchback} [a gentleman]_{1084-a gentleman} . "_[1126-he] " And do n't [you]_1126-he , [sir]_4181-sir ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , surprised . " Oh , no ! [he]_{4460-your little hunchback} 's regularly shabby and seedy in [his]_{4460-your little hunchback} appearance ; lodging , too , [the ostler]_{4465-the ostler} told [me]_81-ruth , over that horrible candle and cheese shop , the smell of which is insufferable twenty yards off -- [no gentleman]_{4466-no gentleman} could endure it ; [he]_{4460-your little hunchback} must be [a traveller]_{4467-a traveller} or [artist]_4468-artist , or something of that kind . "_[81-ruth] " Did [you]_1126-he see [his]_{4460-your little hunchback} face , [sir]_4181-sir ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . " No ; but [a man]_{650-a man} 's back -- [his]_{4460-your little hunchback} _ tout ensemble _ has character enough in it to decide [his]_{4460-your little hunchback} rank . "_[81-ruth] " [His]_{4460-your little hunchback} face was very singular ; quite beautiful ! "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , softly ; but the subject did not interest [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , and [he]_{94-mr bellingham} let it drop . CHAPTER VI Troubles Gather About [Ruth]_81-ruth The next day the weather was brave and glorious ; a perfect " bridal of [the earth]_{843-the earth} and sky ; "_[81-ruth] and [every one]_{1129-every one} turned out of [the inn]_{1055-the inn} to enjoy the fresh beauty of nature . [Ruth]_81-ruth was quite unconscious of being the object of remark , and , in [her]_81-ruth light , rapid passings to and fro , had never looked at the doors and windows , where [many watchers]_{1131-many watchers} stood observing [her]_81-ruth , and commenting upon [her]_81-ruth situation or [her]_81-ruth appearance . " [She]_81-ruth 's [a very lovely creature]_{4472-a very lovely creature} , "_{[1132-one gentleman]} said [one gentleman]_{1132-one gentleman} , rising from the breakfast - table to catch a glimpse of [her]_81-ruth as [she]_81-ruth entered from [her]_81-ruth morning 's ramble . " Not above sixteen , [I]_{737-his wife} should think . Very modest and innocent - looking in [her]_81-ruth white gown ! "_{[737-his wife]} [[His]_{1132-one gentleman} wife]_{737-his wife} , busy administering to the wants of [a fine little boy]_{1134-a fine little boy} , could only say ( without seeing [the young girl]_{1017-the young girl} 's modest ways , and gentle , downcast countenance ): " Well ! [I]_{861-the husband} do think it 's a shame [such people]_{4473-such people} should be allowed to come [here]_4172-here . To think of such wickedness under the same roof ! Do come away , [[my]_{861-the husband} dear]_{4145-my dear} , and do n't flatter [her]_{737-his wife} by such notice . "_{[861-the husband]} [The husband]_{861-the husband} returned to the breakfast - table ; [he]_{861-the husband} smelt the broiled ham and eggs , and [he]_{861-the husband} heard [[his]_{861-the husband} wife]_{737-his wife} 's commands . Whether smelling or hearing had most to do in causing [his]_{861-the husband} obedience , [I]_0-i can not tell ; perhaps [you]_{861-the husband} can . " Now , [Harry]_129-harry , go and see if [nurse]_4476-nurse and [baby]_4477-baby are ready to go out with [you]_129-harry . [You]_129-harry must lose no time this beautiful morning . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth found [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was not yet come down ; so [she]_81-ruth sallied out for an additional half - hour 's ramble . Flitting about through [the village]_{1138-the village} , trying to catch all the beautiful sunny peeps at the scenery between [the cold stone houses]_{1139-the cold stone houses} , which threw the radiant distance into aërial perspective far away , [she]_81-ruth passed by [the little shop]_{1140-the little shop} ; and , just issuing from [it]_{1140-the little shop} , came [the nurse]_{1141-the nurse} and [baby]_4477-baby , and [little boy]_{1143-little boy} . [The baby]_{1144-the baby} sat in placid dignity in [[her]_{1144-the baby} nurse]_{1145-her nurse} 's arms , with a face of queenly calm . [Her]_{1144-the baby} fresh , soft , peachy complexion was really tempting ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth , who was always fond of [children]_{1146-children} , went up to coo and to smile at the little thing , and , after some " peep - boing , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth was about to snatch a kiss , when [Harry]_129-harry , whose face had been reddening ever since the play began , lifted up [his]_129-harry sturdy little right arm and hit [Ruth]_81-ruth a great blow on the face . " Oh , for shame , [sir]_4181-sir ! "_{[1141-the nurse]} said [the nurse]_{1141-the nurse} , snatching back [his]_129-harry hand ; " how dare [you]_4181-sir do that to [the lady who is so kind as to speak to [Sissy]_130-sissy]_{4479-the lady who is so kind as to speak to sissy} . "_{[1141-the nurse]} " [She]_{4479-the lady who is so kind as to speak to sissy} 's not [a lady]_{4480-a lady} ! "_[129-harry] said [he]_129-harry , indignantly . " [She]_{4479-the lady who is so kind as to speak to sissy} 's [a bad naughty girl]_{4481-a bad naughty girl} -- [mamma]_4143-mamma said so , [she]_4143-mamma did ; and [she]_4143-mamma sha n't kiss [[our]_4483-our baby]_{4484-our baby} . "_[129-harry] [The nurse]_{1141-the nurse} reddened in [her]_{1141-the nurse} turn . [She]_{1141-the nurse} knew what [he]_129-harry must have heard ; but it was awkward to bring it out , standing face to face with [the elegant young lady]_{1149-the elegant young lady} . " [Children]_{1146-children} pick up such notions , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , "_{[1141-the nurse]} said [she]_{1141-the nurse} at last , apologetically , to [Ruth]_81-ruth , who stood , white and still , with a new idea running through [her]_81-ruth mind . " It 's no notion ; it 's true , [nurse]_4476-nurse ; and [I]_{4189-the boy} heard [you]_81-ruth say it [yourself]_81-ruth . Go away , [naughty woman]_{4488-naughty woman} ! "_{[4189-the boy]} said [the boy]_{4189-the boy} , in infantile vehemence of passion to [Ruth]_81-ruth . To [the nurse]_{1141-the nurse} 's infinite relief , [Ruth]_81-ruth turned away , humbly and meekly , with bent head , and slow , uncertain steps . But as [she]_81-ruth turned , [she]_81-ruth saw the mild sad face of [the deformed gentleman]_{1112-the deformed gentleman} , who was sitting at the open window above [the shop]_{1153-the shop} ; [he]_{1112-the deformed gentleman} looked sadder and graver than ever ; and [his]_{1112-the deformed gentleman} eyes met [her]_81-ruth glance with an expression of deep sorrow . And so , condemned alike by youth and age , [she]_81-ruth stole with timid step into [the house]_{426-the house} . [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was awaiting [her]_81-ruth coming in [the sitting - room]_{1155-the sitting - room} . The glorious day restored all [his]_{94-mr bellingham} buoyancy of spirits . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} talked gaily away , without pausing for a reply ; while [Ruth]_81-ruth made tea , and tried to calm [her]_81-ruth heart , which was yet beating with the agitation of the new ideas [she]_81-ruth had received from the occurrence of the morning . Luckily for [her]_81-ruth , the only answers required for some time were mono - syllables ; but those few words were uttered in so depressed and mournful a tone , that at last they struck [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} with surprise and displeasure , as the condition of mind [they]_1156-they unconsciously implied did not harmonise with [his]_{94-mr bellingham} own . " [Ruth]_81-ruth , what is the matter this morning ? [You]_81-ruth really are very provoking . Yesterday , when everything was gloomy , and [you]_81-ruth might have been aware that [I]_{94-mr bellingham} was out of spirits , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} heard nothing but expressions of delight ; to - day , when [every creature under heaven]_{4489-every creature under heaven} is rejoicing , [you]_81-ruth look most deplorable and woe - begone . [You]_81-ruth really should learn to have a little sympathy . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} The tears fell quickly down [Ruth]_81-ruth 's cheeks , but [she]_81-ruth did not speak . [She]_81-ruth could not put into words the sense [she]_81-ruth was just beginning to entertain of the estimation in which [she]_81-ruth was henceforward to be held . [She]_81-ruth thought [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would be as much grieved as [she]_81-ruth was at what had taken place that morning ; [she]_81-ruth fancied [she]_81-ruth should sink in [his]_{94-mr bellingham} opinion if [she]_81-ruth told [him]_{94-mr bellingham} how [others]_368-others regarded [her]_81-ruth ; besides , it seemed ungenerous to dilate upon the suffering of which [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was the cause . " [I]_81-ruth will not , "_[81-ruth] thought [she]_81-ruth , " embitter [his]_{94-mr bellingham} life ; [I]_81-ruth will try and be cheerful . [I]_81-ruth must not think of [myself]_81-ruth so much . If [I]_81-ruth can but make [him]_{94-mr bellingham} happy , what need [I]_81-ruth care for chance speeches ? "_[81-ruth] Accordingly , [she]_81-ruth made every effort possible to be as light - hearted as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was ; but , somehow , the moment [she]_81-ruth relaxed , thoughts would intrude , and wonders would force themselves upon [her]_81-ruth mind ; so that altogether [she]_81-ruth was not the gay and bewitching companion [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} had previously found [her]_81-ruth . [They]_1158-they sauntered out for a walk . The path [they]_1158-they chose led to a wood on [the side of [a hill]_{1160-a hill}]_{1159-the side of a hill} , and [they]_1158-they entered , glad of the shade of the trees . At first , [it]_1161-it appeared like [any common grove]_{1162-any common grove} , but [they]_1158-they soon came to a deep descent , on the summit of which [they]_1158-they stood , looking down on the tree - tops , which were softly waving far beneath [their]_1158-they feet . There was a path leading sharp down , and [they]_1158-they followed it ; the ledge of rock made it almost like going down steps , and [their]_1158-they walk grew into a bounding , and [their]_1158-they bounding into a run , before [they]_1158-they reached the lowest plane . A green gloom reigned there ; it was the still hour of noon ; the little birds were quiet in some leafy shade . [They]_1158-they went on a few yards , and then [they]_1158-they came to a circular pool overshadowed by the trees , whose highest boughs had been beneath [their]_1158-they feet a few minutes before . [The pond]_{1163-the pond} was hardly below the surface of the ground , and there was nothing like a bank on any side . [A heron]_{1164-a heron} was standing there motionless , but when [he]_{1164-a heron} saw [them]_1165-them [he]_{1164-a heron} flapped [his]_{1164-a heron} wings and slowly rose , and soared above the green heights of the wood up into the very sky itself , for at that depth the trees appeared to touch the round white clouds which brooded over [the earth]_{843-the earth} . The speed - well grew in [the shallowest water of [the pool]_{1107-the pool}]_{1167-the shallowest water of the pool} , and all around [its]_{1107-the pool} margin , but the flowers were hardly seen at first , so deep was the green shadow cast by the trees . In the very middle of [the pond]_{1163-the pond} the sky was mirrored clear and dark , a blue which looked as if a black void lay behind . " Oh , there are water - lilies , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , [her]_81-ruth eye catching on the farther side . " [I]_81-ruth must go and get some . "_[81-ruth] " No ; [I]_1170-he will get them for [you]_81-ruth . [The ground]_{934-the ground} is spongy all round there . Sit still , [Ruth]_81-ruth ; this heap of grass will make a capital seat . "_[1170-he] [He]_1170-he went round , and [she]_81-ruth waited quietly for [his]_1170-he return . When [he]_1170-he came back [he]_1170-he took off [her]_81-ruth bonnet , without speaking , and began to place [his]_1170-he flowers in [her]_81-ruth hair . [She]_81-ruth was quite still while [he]_1170-he arranged [her]_81-ruth coronet , looking up in [his]_1170-he face with loving eyes , with a peaceful composure . [She]_81-ruth knew that [he]_1170-he was pleased from [his]_1170-he manner , which had the joyousness of [a child playing with a new toy]_{1171-a child playing with a new toy} , and [she]_81-ruth did not think twice of [his]_1170-he occupation . It was pleasant to forget everything except [his]_1170-he pleasure . When [he]_1170-he had decked [her]_81-ruth out , [he]_1170-he said : " There , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! now [you]_81-ruth 'll do . Come and look at [yourself]_81-ruth in [the pond]_{1163-the pond} . Here , where there are no weeds . Come . "_[1170-he] [She]_81-ruth obeyed , and could not help seeing [her]_81-ruth own loveliness ; it gave [her]_81-ruth a sense of satisfaction for an instant , as the sight of any other beautiful object would have done , but [she]_81-ruth never thought of associating it with [herself]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth knew that [she]_81-ruth was beautiful ; but that seemed abstract , and removed from [herself]_81-ruth . [Her]_81-ruth existence was in feeling , and thinking , and loving . Down in [that green hollow]_{1172-that green hollow} [they]_1173-they were quite in harmony . [Her]_81-ruth beauty was all that [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} cared for , and it was supreme . It was all [he]_1170-he recognised of [her]_81-ruth , and [he]_1170-he was proud of it . [She]_81-ruth stood in [her]_81-ruth white dress against the trees which grew around ; [her]_81-ruth face was flushed into a brilliancy of colour which resembled that of a rose in June ; the great heavy white flowers drooped on either side of [her]_81-ruth beautiful head , and if [her]_81-ruth brown hair was a little disordered , the very disorder only seemed to add a grace . [She]_81-ruth pleased [him]_1170-he more by looking so lovely than by all [her]_81-ruth tender endeavours to fall in with [his]_1170-he varying humour . But when [they]_1173-they left [the wood]_{926-the wood} , and [Ruth]_81-ruth had taken out [her]_81-ruth flowers , and resumed [her]_81-ruth bonnet , as [they]_1173-they came near [the inn]_{1055-the inn} , the simple thought of giving [him]_1170-he pleasure was not enough to secure [Ruth]_81-ruth 's peace . [She]_81-ruth became pensive and sad , and could not rally into gaiety . " Really , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[1170-he] said [he]_1170-he , that evening , " [you]_81-ruth must not encourage [yourself]_81-ruth in this habit of falling into melancholy reveries without any cause . [You]_81-ruth have been sighing twenty times during the last half - hour . Do be a little cheerful . Remember , [I]_1170-he have [no companion]_{4492-no companion} but [you]_81-ruth in this out - of - the - way place . "_[1170-he] " [I]_81-ruth am very sorry , [sir]_4181-sir , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , [her]_81-ruth eyes filling with tears ; and then [she]_81-ruth remembered that it was very dull for [him]_1170-he to be alone with [her]_81-ruth , heavy - hearted as [she]_81-ruth had been all day . [She]_81-ruth said in a sweet , penitent tone : " Would [you]_4181-sir be so kind as to teach [me]_81-ruth one of those games at cards [you]_4181-sir were speaking about yesterday , [sir]_4181-sir ? [I]_81-ruth would do [my]_81-ruth best to learn . "_[81-ruth] [Her]_81-ruth soft , murmuring voice won its way . They rang for the cards , and [he]_1170-he soon forgot that there was such a thing as depression or gloom in [the world]_{506-the world} , in the pleasure of teaching such a beautiful ignoramus the mysteries of card - playing . " There ! "_[1170-he] said [he]_1170-he , at last , " that 's enough for one lesson . Do [you]_81-ruth know , [little goose]_{4495-little goose} , [your]_81-ruth blunders have made [me]_1170-he laugh [myself]_1170-he into one of the worst headaches [I]_1170-he have had for years . "_[1170-he] [He]_1170-he threw [himself]_1170-he on the sofa , and in an instant [she]_81-ruth was by [his]_1170-he side . " Let [me]_81-ruth put [my]_81-ruth cool hands on [your]_1170-he forehead , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth begged ; " that used to do [mamma]_113-mamma good . "_[81-ruth] [He]_1170-he lay still , [his]_1170-he face away from the light , and not speaking . Presently [he]_1170-he fell asleep . [Ruth]_81-ruth put out the candles , and sat patiently by [him]_1170-he for a long time , fancying [he]_1170-he would awaken refreshed . [The room]_{357-the room} grew cool in the night air ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth dared not rouse [him]_1170-he from what appeared to be sound , restoring slumber . [She]_81-ruth covered [him]_1170-he with [her]_81-ruth shawl , which [she]_81-ruth had thrown over a chair on coming in from [their]_1178-their twilight ramble . [She]_81-ruth had ample time to think ; but [she]_81-ruth tried to banish thought . At last , [his]_1170-he breathing became quick and oppressed , and , after listening to it for some minutes with increasing affright , [Ruth]_81-ruth ventured to waken [him]_1170-he . [He]_1170-he seemed stupified and shivery . [Ruth]_81-ruth became more and more terrified ; all [the household]_{1179-the household} were asleep except [one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little English [she]_{1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours} had knowledge of in more waking hours]_{1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours} , and [she]_{1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours} could only answer , " Iss , indeed , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , "_{[1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours]} to any question put to [her]_{1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours} by [Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth sat by the bedside all night long . [He]_1170-he moaned and tossed , but never spoke sensibly . It was a new form of illness to [the miserable Ruth]_{1181-the miserable ruth} . [Her]_81-ruth yesterday 's suffering went into the black distance of long - past years . The present was all - in - all . When [she]_81-ruth heard [people]_322-people stirring , [she]_81-ruth went in search of [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} , whose shrewd , sharp manners , unsoftened by inward respect for [the poor girl]_{1183-the poor girl} , had awed [Ruth]_81-ruth even when [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was by to protect [her]_81-ruth . " [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , sitting down in [the little parlour appropriated to [the landlady]_{1072-the landlady}]_{1184-the little parlour appropriated to the landlady} , for [she]_81-ruth felt [her]_81-ruth strength suddenly desert her--"Mrs [Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} , [I]_81-ruth 'm afraid [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} is very ill;"--here_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth burst into tears , but instantly checking [herself]_81-ruth , " Oh , what must [I]_81-ruth do ? "_[81-ruth] continued [she]_81-ruth ; " [I]_81-ruth do n't think [he]_{94-mr bellingham} has known anything all through the night , and [he]_{94-mr bellingham} looks so strange and wild this morning . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth gazed up into [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} 's face , as if reading an oracle . " Indeed , [miss]_4384-miss , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , and it 's a very awkward thing . But do n't cry , that can do no good , ' deed it ca n't . [I]_81-ruth 'll go and see [the poor young man]_{4499-the poor young man} [myself]_81-ruth , and then [I]_81-ruth can judge if [a doctor]_{4186-a doctor} is wanting . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth followed [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} . When [they]_1187-they entered [the sick - room]_{1188-the sick - room} [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was sitting up in bed , looking wildly about [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , and as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} saw [them]_1187-they , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} exclaimed : " [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [Ruth]_81-ruth ! come here ; [I]_{94-mr bellingham} wo n't be left alone ! "_{[94-mr bellingham]} and then [he]_{94-mr bellingham} fell down exhausted on the pillow . [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} went up and spoke to [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , but [he]_{94-mr bellingham} did not answer or take any notice . " [I]_{122-mrs morgan} 'll send for [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} , [[my]_{122-mrs morgan} dear]_{4145-my dear} , ' deed and [I]_{122-mrs morgan} will ; [we]_1187-they 'll have [him]_{94-mr bellingham} [here]_4172-here in a couple of hours , please [God]_104-leonard . "_{[122-mrs morgan]} " Oh , ca n't [he]_{94-mr bellingham} come sooner ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , wild with terror . " ' Deed no ; [he]_{94-mr bellingham} lives at Llanglâs when [he]_{94-mr bellingham} 's at [home]_4124-home , and that 's seven mile away , and [he]_{94-mr bellingham} may be gone a round eight or nine mile on the other side Llanglâs ; but [I]_{122-mrs morgan} 'll send [a boy on the pony]_{4504-a boy on the pony} directly . "_{[122-mrs morgan]} Saying this , [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} left [Ruth]_81-ruth alone . There was nothing to be done , for [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} had again fallen into a heavy sleep . Sounds of daily life began , bells rang , breakfast - services clattered up and down [the passages]_{1189-the passages} , and [Ruth]_81-ruth sat on shivering by the bedside in [that darkened room]_{1190-that darkened room} . [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} sent [her]_{122-mrs morgan} breakfast [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} by [a chambermaid]_{1192-a chambermaid} , but [Ruth]_81-ruth motioned it away in [her]_81-ruth sick agony , and [the girl]_{1016-the girl} had no right to urge [her]_81-ruth to partake of it . That alone broke the monotony of the long morning . [She]_81-ruth heard the sound of [merry parties setting out on excursions]_{1194-merry parties setting out on excursions} , on horseback or in [carriages]_{1195-carriages} ; and once , stiff and wearied , [she]_81-ruth stole to the window , and looked out on one side of the blind ; but the day looked bright and discordant to [her]_81-ruth aching , anxious heart . The gloom of [the darkened room]_{1196-the darkened room} was better and more befitting . It was some hours after [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was summoned before [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} made [his]_{94-mr bellingham} appearance . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} questioned [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} patient]_{344-his patient} , and , receiving no coherent answers , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} asked [Ruth]_81-ruth concerning the symptoms ; but when [she]_81-ruth questioned [him]_{94-mr bellingham} in turn [he]_{94-mr bellingham} only shook [his]_{94-mr bellingham} head and looked grave . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} made a sign to [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} to follow [him]_{94-mr bellingham} out of [the room]_{357-the room} , and [they]_1200-we went down to [[her]_{122-mrs morgan} parlour]_{1201-her parlour} , leaving [Ruth]_81-ruth in a depth of despair , lower than [she]_81-ruth could have thought it possible there remained for [her]_81-ruth to experience , an hour before . " [I]_{131-mr jones} am afraid this is a bad case , "_{[131-mr jones]} said [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} to [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} in [Welsh]_{127-the welsh} . " A brain - fever has evidently set in . "_{[131-mr jones]} " [Poor young gentleman]_{4505-poor young gentleman} ! [poor young man]_{4506-poor young man} ! [He]_{4506-poor young man} looked the very picture of health ! "_{[131-mr jones]} " That very appearance of robustness will , in all probability , make [his]_{94-mr bellingham} disorder more violent . However , [we]_1200-we must hope for the best , [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} . Who is to attend upon [him]_{94-mr bellingham} ? [He]_{94-mr bellingham} will require careful nursing . Is [that young lady [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} sister]_{4508-his sister}]_{4507-that young lady his sister} ? [She]_{4507-that young lady his sister} looks too young to be [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} wife]_{737-his wife} ? "_{[131-mr jones]} " No , indeed ! Gentlemen like [you]_{131-mr jones} must know , [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} , that [we]_1200-we ca n't always look too closely into the ways of [young men who come to [[our]_1200-we houses]_{4511-our houses}]_{4510-young men who come to our houses} . Not but what [I]_1202-i 'm sorry for [her]_{4507-that young lady his sister} , for [she]_{4507-that young lady his sister} 's [an innocent , inoffensive young creature]_{4512-an innocent , inoffensive young creature} . [I]_1202-i always think it right , for [my]_1202-i own morals , to put a little scorn into [my]_1202-i manners when such as [her]_{4507-that young lady his sister} come to stay [here]_4172-here ; but , indeed , [she]_{4507-that young lady his sister} 's so gentle , [I]_1202-i 've found it hard work to show the proper contempt . "_[1202-i] [She]_1202-i would have gone on to [her]_1202-i inattentive listener if [she]_1202-i had not heard a low tap at the door , which recalled [her]_1202-i from [her]_1202-i morality , and [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} from [his]_{131-mr jones} consideration of the necessary prescriptions . " Come in ! "_{[122-mrs morgan]} said [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} , sharply . And [Ruth]_81-ruth came in . [She]_81-ruth was white and trembling ; but [she]_81-ruth stood in that dignity which strong feeling , kept down by self - command , always imparts . " [I]_81-ruth wish [you]_{131-mr jones} , [sir]_4181-sir , to be so kind as to tell [me]_81-ruth , clearly and distinctly , what [I]_81-ruth must do for [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} . Every direction [you]_{131-mr jones} give [me]_81-ruth shall be most carefully attended to . [You]_{131-mr jones} spoke about leeches -- [I]_81-ruth can put them on , and see about them . Tell [me]_81-ruth everything , [sir]_4181-sir , that [you]_{131-mr jones} wish to have done ! "_[81-ruth] [Her]_81-ruth manner was calm and serious , and [her]_81-ruth countenance and deportment showed that the occasion was calling out strength sufficient to meet it . [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} spoke with a deference which [he]_{131-mr jones} had not thought of using [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , even while [he]_{131-mr jones} supposed [her]_81-ruth to be [the sister of [the invalid]_{738-the invalid}]_{1204-the sister of the invalid} . [Ruth]_81-ruth listened gravely ; [she]_81-ruth repeated some of the injunctions , in order that [she]_81-ruth might be sure that [she]_81-ruth fully comprehended them , and then , bowing , left [the room]_{357-the room} . " [She]_81-ruth is [no common person]_{4516-no common person} , "_{[131-mr jones]} said [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} . " Still [she]_81-ruth is too young to have the responsibility of such a serious case . Have [you]_{131-mr jones} any idea where [[his]_{131-mr jones} friends]_{4517-his friends} live , [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} ? "_{[131-mr jones]} " Indeed and [I]_81-ruth have . [[His]_{131-mr jones} mother]_{655-his mother} , as haughty a lady as [you]_{131-mr jones} would wish to see , came travelling through [Wales]_22-wales last year ; [she]_{655-his mother} stopped [here]_4172-here , and , [I]_81-ruth warrant [you]_{131-mr jones} , nothing was good enough for [her]_{655-his mother} ; [she]_{655-his mother} was real quality . [She]_{655-his mother} left some clothes and books behind [her]_{655-his mother} ( for [the maid]_{4520-the maid} was almost as fine as [the mistress]_{4521-the mistress} , and little thought of seeing after [[her]_{655-his mother} lady]_{4522-her lady} 's clothes , having a taste for going to see scenery along with [the man - servant]_{4523-the man - servant} ) , and [we]_4524-we had several letters from [her]_{655-his mother} . [I]_81-ruth have them locked in the drawers in the bar , where [I]_81-ruth keep such things . "_[81-ruth] " Well ! [I]_81-ruth should recommend [your]_{131-mr jones} writing to [the lady]_{470-the lady} , and telling [her]_{470-the lady} [[her]_{470-the lady} son]_{990-her son} 's state . "_[81-ruth] " It would be a favour , [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} , if [you]_{131-mr jones} would just write it [yourself]_{131-mr jones} . English writing comes so strange to [my]_{131-mr jones} pen . "_{[131-mr jones]} The letter was written , and , in order to save time , [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} took it to [the Llanglâs post - office]_{1207-the llanglâs post - office} . CHAPTER VII The Crisis -- Watching and Waiting [Ruth]_81-ruth put away every thought of the past or future ; everything that could unfit [her]_81-ruth for the duties of the present . Exceeding love supplied the place of experience . [She]_81-ruth never left [the room]_{357-the room} after the first day ; [she]_81-ruth forced [herself]_81-ruth to eat , because [his]_1209-his service needed [her]_81-ruth strength . [She]_81-ruth did not indulge in any tears , because the weeping [she]_81-ruth longed for would make [her]_81-ruth less able to attend upon [him]_1209-his . [She]_81-ruth watched , and waited , and prayed : prayed with an utter forgetfulness of self , only with a consciousness that [God]_104-leonard was all - powerful , and that [he]_1209-his , whom [she]_81-ruth loved so much , needed the aid of [the Mighty One]_{1210-the mighty one} . Day and night , the summer night , seemed merged into one . [She]_81-ruth lost count of time in [the hushed and darkened room]_{1211-the hushed and darkened room} . One morning [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} beckoned [her]_81-ruth out ; and [she]_81-ruth stole on tiptoe into [the dazzling gallery]_{1212-the dazzling gallery} , on one side of which [the bedrooms]_{1213-the bedrooms} opened . " [She]_{96-mrs bellingham} 's come , "_{[122-mrs morgan]} whispered [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} , looking very much excited , and forgetting that [Ruth]_81-ruth had never heard that [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} had been summoned . " Who is come ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . The idea of [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} flashed through [her]_81-ruth mind -- but with a more terrible , because a more vague dread , [she]_81-ruth heard that it was [[his]_1209-his mother]_{655-his mother} ; [the mother of whom [he]_1209-his had always spoken as [a person whose opinion was to be regarded more than that of any other individual]_{1216-a person whose opinion was to be regarded more than that of any other individual}]_{1215-the mother of whom he had always spoken as a person whose opinion was to be regarded more than that of any other individual} . " What must [I]_81-ruth do ? Will [she]_{122-mrs morgan} be angry with [me]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , relapsing into [her]_81-ruth child - like dependence on [others]_368-others ; and feeling that even [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} was [some one]_{378-some one} to stand between [her]_81-ruth and [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} . [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} [herself]_{122-mrs morgan} was a little perplexed . [[Her]_{122-mrs morgan} morality]_{1219-her morality} was rather shocked at the idea of [a proper real lady]_{1220-a proper real lady} like [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} discovering that [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} had winked at the connexion between [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} son]_{990-her son} and [Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_{122-mrs morgan} was quite inclined to encourage [Ruth]_81-ruth in [her]_81-ruth inclination to shrink out of [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} 's observation , an inclination which arose from no definite consciousness of having done wrong , but principally from the representations [she]_{122-mrs morgan} had always heard of [the lady]_{470-the lady} 's awfulness . [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} swept into [[[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} son]_{990-her son} 's room]_{1224-her son 's room} as if [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} were unconscious what poor young creature had lately haunted [it]_{1224-her son 's room} ; while [Ruth]_81-ruth hurried into [some unoccupied bedroom]_{1225-some unoccupied bedroom} , and , alone there , [she]_81-ruth felt [her]_81-ruth self - restraint suddenly give way , and burst into the saddest , most utterly wretched weeping [she]_81-ruth had ever known . [She]_81-ruth was worn out with watching , and exhausted by passionate crying , and [she]_81-ruth lay down on the bed and fell asleep . The day passed on ; [she]_81-ruth slumbered unnoticed and unregarded ; [she]_81-ruth awoke late in the evening with a sense of having done wrong in sleeping so long ; the strain upon [her]_81-ruth responsibility had not yet left [her]_81-ruth . Twilight was closing fast around ; [she]_81-ruth waited until it had become night , and then [she]_81-ruth stole down to [[Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} 's parlour]_{1226-mrs morgan 's parlour} . " If [you]_85-jenny please , may [I]_81-ruth come in ? "_[81-ruth] asked [she]_81-ruth . [Jenny Morgan]_85-jenny was doing up the hieroglyphics which [she]_85-jenny called [her]_85-jenny accounts ; [she]_85-jenny answered sharply enough , but it was a permission to enter , and [Ruth]_81-ruth was thankful for it . " Will [you]_85-jenny tell [me]_85-jenny how [he]_4527-he is ? Do [you]_85-jenny think [I]_85-jenny may go back to [him]_4527-he ? "_[85-jenny] " No , indeed , that [you]_85-jenny may not . [Nest]_132-nest , who has made [[his]_4527-he room]_{4528-his room} tidy these many days , is not fit to go in now . [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} has brought [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} own maid]_{4529-her own maid} , and [the family nurse]_{4530-the family nurse} , and [[Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's man]_{4531-mr bellingham 's man} ; such a tribe of [servants and no end to packages]_{4532-servants and no end to packages} ; water - beds coming by [the carrier]_{4533-the carrier} , and [a doctor from [London]_3-london]_{4534-a doctor from london} coming down to - morrow , as if feather - beds and [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} was not good enough . Why , [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} wo n't let a soul of [us]_4535-us into [the room]_{357-the room} ; there 's no chance for [you]_85-jenny ! "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth sighed . " How is [he]_{131-mr jones} ? "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth inquired , after a pause . " How can [I]_1227-i tell indeed , when [I]_1227-i 'm not allowed to go near [him]_{131-mr jones} ? [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} said to - night was a turning point ; but [I]_1227-i doubt it , for it is four days since [he]_{131-mr jones} was taken ill , and who ever heard of [a sick person taking a turn on an even number of days]_{4537-a sick person taking a turn on an even number of days} ; it 's always on the third , or the fifth , or seventh , or so on . [He]_{131-mr jones} 'll not turn till to - morrow night , take [my]_1227-i word for it , and [[their]_4538-their fine [London]_3-london doctor]_{4539-their fine london doctor} will get all the credit , and [honest Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} will be thrown aside . [I]_1227-i do n't think [he]_{131-mr jones} will get better [myself]_1227-i , though -- [Gelert]_133-gelert does not howl for nothing . [My]_1227-i patience ! what 's the matter with [the girl?--lord]_{4540-the girl?--lord} , [child]_895-child , [you]_895-child 're never going to faint , and be ill on [my]_1227-i hands ? "_[1227-i] [Her]_1227-i sharp voice recalled [Ruth]_81-ruth from the sick unconsciousness that had been creeping over [her]_81-ruth as [she]_81-ruth listened to the latter part of this speech . [She]_81-ruth sat down and could not speak -- [the room]_{357-the room} whirled round and round -- [her]_81-ruth white feebleness touched [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} 's heart . " [You]_895-child 've had no tea , [I]_81-ruth guess . Indeed , and [the girls]_{414-the girls} are very careless . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth rang the bell with energy , and seconded [her]_81-ruth pull by going to the door and shouting out sharp directions , in Welsh , to [Nest]_132-nest and [Gwen]_134-gwen , and [three or four other rough , kind , slatternly servants]_{1229-three or four other rough , kind , slatternly servants} . [They]_1230-they brought [her]_81-ruth tea , which was comfortable , according to the idea of comfort prevalent in that rude , hospitable place ; there was plenty to eat , too much , indeed , for it revolted the appetite it was intended to provoke . But the heartiness with which [the kind , rosy waiter]_{1231-the kind , rosy waiter} pressed [her]_81-ruth to eat , and the scolding [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} gave [her]_81-ruth when [she]_81-ruth found the buttered toast untouched ( toast on which [she]_81-ruth had [herself]_81-ruth desired that the butter might not be spared ) , did [Ruth]_81-ruth more good than the tea . [She]_81-ruth began to hope , and to long for the morning when hope might have become certainty . It was all in vain that [she]_81-ruth was told that [the room [she]_81-ruth had been in all day]_{1232-the room she had been in all day} was at [her]_81-ruth service ; [she]_81-ruth did not say a word , but [she]_81-ruth was not going to bed that night , of all nights in the year , when life or death hung trembling in the balance . [She]_81-ruth went into [the bedroom]_{1233-the bedroom} till [the bustling house]_{1234-the bustling house} was still , and heard busy feet passing to and fro in [the room]_{357-the room} [she]_81-ruth might not enter ; and voices , imperious , though hushed down to a whisper , ask for innumerable things . Then there was silence ; and when [she]_81-ruth thought that [all were dead asleep]_{1236-all were dead asleep} , except [the watchers]_{1237-the watchers} , [she]_81-ruth stole out into [the gallery]_{1238-the gallery} . On the other side were two windows , cut into the thick stone wall , and flower pots were placed on the shelves thus formed , where great , untrimmed , straggling geraniums grew , and strove to reach the light . The window near [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} 's door was open ; the soft , warm - scented night air came sighing in in faint gusts , and then was still . It was summer ; there was no black darkness in the twenty - four hours ; only the light grew dusky , and colour disappeared from objects , of which the shape and form remained distinct . A soft grey oblong of barred light fell on the flat wall opposite to the windows , and deeper grey shadows marked out the tracery of the plants , more graceful thus than in reality . [Ruth]_81-ruth crouched where no light fell . [She]_81-ruth sat on the ground close by the door ; [her]_81-ruth whole existence was absorbed in listening ; all was still ; it was only [her]_81-ruth heart beating with the strong , heavy , regular sound of a hammer . [She]_81-ruth wished [she]_81-ruth could stop its rushing , incessant clang . [She]_81-ruth heard a rustle of a silken gown , and knew it ought not to have been worn in [a sick - room]_{1239-a sick - room} ; for [her]_81-ruth senses seemed to have passed into the keeping of [the invalid]_{738-the invalid} , and to feel only as [he]_{738-the invalid} felt . The noise was probably occasioned by some change of posture in [the watcher inside]_{1241-the watcher inside} , for it was once more dead - still . The soft wind outside sank with a low , long , distant moan among the windings of [the hills]_{1242-the hills} , and lost itself there , and came no more again . But [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart beat loud . [She]_81-ruth rose with as little noise as if [she]_81-ruth were a vision , and crept to the open window to try and lose the nervous listening for the ever - recurring sound . Out beyond , under the calm sky , veiled with a mist rather than with a cloud , rose the high , dark outlines of [the mountains]_{1090-the mountains} , shutting in [that village]_{1244-that village} as if it lay in a nest . [They]_1245-they stood , like [giants]_1246-giants , solemnly watching for the end of [Earth]_25-earth and Time . Here and there a black round shadow reminded [Ruth]_81-ruth of some " Cwm , "_[81-ruth] or hollow , where [she]_81-ruth and [[her]_81-ruth lover]_{1247-her lover} had rambled in sun and in gladness . [She]_81-ruth then thought [the land]_{1248-the land} enchanted into everlasting brightness and happiness ; [she]_81-ruth fancied , then , that into [a region so lovely no bale or woe could enter]_{1249-a region so lovely no bale or woe could enter} , but would be charmed away and disappear before the sight of [the glorious guardian mountains]_{1250-the glorious guardian mountains} . Now [she]_81-ruth knew the truth , [that earth]_{1251-that earth} has no barrier which avails against agony . It comes lightning - like down from [heaven]_1252-heaven , into [the mountain house]_{1253-the mountain house} and [the town garret]_{1254-the town garret} ; into [the palace]_{1255-the palace} and into [the cottage]_{588-the cottage} . [The garden]_{783-the garden} lay close under [the house]_{426-the house} ; a bright spot enough by day ; for in [that soil]_{1259-that soil} , whatever was planted grew and blossomed in spite of neglect . The white roses glimmered out in the dusk all the night through ; the red were lost in shadow . Between the low boundary of [the garden]_{783-the garden} and [the hills]_{1242-the hills} swept [one or two green meadows]_{1262-one or two green meadows} ; [Ruth]_81-ruth looked into the grey darkness till [she]_81-ruth traced each separate wave of outline . Then [she]_81-ruth heard a little restless bird chirp out its wakefulness from a nest in the ivy round the walls of [the house]_{426-the house} . But [the mother - bird]_{1264-the mother - bird} spread [her]_{1264-the mother - bird} soft feathers , and hushed it into silence . Presently , however , many little birds began to scent the coming dawn , and rustled among the leaves , and chirruped loud and clear . Just above the horizon , too , the mist became a silvery grey cloud hanging on the edge of [the world]_{506-the world} ; presently it turned shimmering white ; and then , in an instant , it flushed into rose , and [the mountain - tops]_{1266-the mountain - tops} sprang into [heaven]_1252-heaven , and bathed in the presence of the shadow of [God]_104-leonard . With a bound , the sun of a molten fiery red came above the horizon , and immediately thousands of little birds sang out for joy , and a soft chorus of mysterious , glad murmurs came forth from [the earth]_{843-the earth} ; the low whispering wind left its hiding - place among the clefts and hollows of [the hills]_{1242-the hills} , and wandered among the rustling herbs and trees , waking the flower - buds to the life of another day . [Ruth]_81-ruth gave a sigh of relief that the night was over and gone ; for [she]_81-ruth knew that soon suspense would be ended , and the verdict known , whether for life or for death . [She]_81-ruth grew faint and sick with anxiety ; it almost seemed as if [she]_81-ruth must go into [the room]_{357-the room} and learn the truth . Then [she]_81-ruth heard movements , but they were not sharp or rapid , as if prompted by any emergency ; then , again , it was still . [She]_81-ruth sat curled up upon the floor , with [her]_81-ruth head thrown back against the wall , and [her]_81-ruth hands clasped round [her]_81-ruth knees . [She]_81-ruth had yet to wait . Meanwhile , [the invalid]_{738-the invalid} was slowly rousing [himself]_{738-the invalid} from a long , deep , sound , health - giving sleep . [[His]_{738-the invalid} mother]_{655-his mother} had sat by [him]_{738-the invalid} the night through , and was now daring to change [her]_{655-his mother} position for the first time ; [she]_{655-his mother} was even venturing to give directions in a low voice to [the old nurse]_{1273-the old nurse} , who had dozed away in an arm - chair , ready to obey any summons of [[her]_{1273-the old nurse} mistress]_{1274-her mistress} . [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} went on tiptoe towards the door , and chiding [herself]_{96-mrs bellingham} because [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} stiff , weary limbs made some slight noise . [She]_{96-mrs bellingham} had an irrepressible longing for a few minutes ' change of scene after [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} night of watching . [She]_{96-mrs bellingham} felt that the crisis was over ; and the relief to [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} mind made [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} conscious of every bodily feeling and irritation , which had passed unheeded as long as [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} had been in suspense . [She]_{96-mrs bellingham} slowly opened the door . [Ruth]_81-ruth sprang upright at the first sound of the creaking handle . [Her]_81-ruth very lips were stiff and unpliable with the force of the blood which rushed to [her]_81-ruth head . It seemed as if [she]_81-ruth could not form words . [She]_81-ruth stood right before [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} . " How is [he]_{990-her son} , [madam]_4543-madam ? "_[81-ruth] [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} was for a moment surprised at the white apparition which seemed to rise out of the ground . But [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} quick , proud mind understood it all in an instant . This was [the girl]_{1016-the girl} , then , whose profligacy had led [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} son]_{990-her son} astray ; had raised up barriers in the way of [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} favourite scheme of [his]_{990-her son} marriage with [Miss Duncombe]_{95-miss duncombe} ; nay , this was the real cause of [his]_{990-her son} illness , [his]_{990-her son} mortal danger at this present time , and of [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} bitter , keen anxiety . If , under any circumstances , [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} could have been guilty of the ill - breeding of not answering a question , it was now ; and for a moment [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} was tempted to pass on in silence . [Ruth]_81-ruth could not wait ; [she]_81-ruth spoke again : " For the love of [God]_104-leonard , [madam]_4543-madam , speak ! How is [he]_{990-her son} ? Will [he]_{990-her son} live ? "_[81-ruth] If [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} did not answer [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} , [she]_81-ruth thought [the creature]_{1277-the creature} was desperate enough to force [her]_81-ruth way into [[his]_{990-her son} room]_{4528-his room} . So [she]_81-ruth spoke . " [He]_{990-her son} has slept well : [he]_{990-her son} is better . "_[81-ruth] " Oh ! [[my]_81-ruth God]_{867-my god} , [I]_81-ruth thank [Thee]_104-leonard , "_[81-ruth] murmured [Ruth]_81-ruth , sinking back against the wall . It was too much to hear [this wretched girl]_{1279-this wretched girl} thanking [God]_104-leonard for [[her]_{1279-this wretched girl} son]_{990-her son} 's life ; as if , in fact , [she]_{1279-this wretched girl} had any lot or part in [him]_{990-her son} , and to dare to speak to [the Almighty]_{1281-the almighty} on [[her]_{1279-this wretched girl} son]_{990-her son} 's behalf ! [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} looked at [her]_81-ruth with cold , contemptuous eyes , whose glances were like ice - bolts , and made [Ruth]_81-ruth shiver up away from [them]_1283-them . " [Young woman]_{4546-young woman} , if [you]_81-ruth have any propriety or decency left , [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} trust that [you]_81-ruth will not dare to force [yourself]_81-ruth into [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} room]_{4528-his room} . "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} [She]_{96-mrs bellingham} stood for a moment as if awaiting an answer , and half expecting it to be a defiance . But [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} did not understand [Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_{96-mrs bellingham} did not imagine the faithful trustfulness of [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} heart . [Ruth]_81-ruth believed that if [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} was alive and likely to live , all was well . When [he]_{94-mr bellingham} wanted [her]_81-ruth , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would send for [her]_81-ruth , ask for [her]_81-ruth , yearn for [her]_81-ruth , till [every one]_{1129-every one} would yield before [his]_{94-mr bellingham} steadfast will . At present [she]_81-ruth imagined that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was probably too weak to care or know who was about [him]_{94-mr bellingham} ; and though it would have been an infinite delight to [her]_81-ruth to hover and brood around [him]_{94-mr bellingham} , yet it was of [him]_{94-mr bellingham} [she]_81-ruth thought and not of [herself]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth gently drew [herself]_81-ruth on one side to make way for [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} to pass . By - and - by [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} came up . [Ruth]_81-ruth was still near the door , from which it seemed as if [she]_81-ruth could not tear [herself]_81-ruth away . " Indeed , [miss]_4384-miss , and [you]_4384-miss must not hang about the door in this way ; it is not pretty manners . [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} has been speaking very sharp and cross about it , and [I]_81-ruth shall lose the character of [[my]_81-ruth inn]_{4549-my inn} if [people]_322-people take to talking as [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} does . Did not [I]_81-ruth give [you]_4384-miss [a room]_{4551-a room} last night to keep in , and never be seen or heard of ; and did [I]_81-ruth not tell [you]_4384-miss what [a particular lady]_{4552-a particular lady} [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} was , but [you]_4384-miss must come out here right in [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} way ? Indeed , it was not pretty , nor grateful to [me]_81-ruth , [Jenny Morgan]_85-jenny , and that [I]_81-ruth must say . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth turned away like [a chidden child]_{1285-a chidden child} . [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} followed [her]_81-ruth to [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} , scolding as [she]_81-ruth went ; and then , having cleared [her]_81-ruth heart after [her]_81-ruth wo nt by uttering hasty words , [her]_81-ruth real kindness made [her]_81-ruth add , in a softened tone : " [You]_4384-miss stop up here like [a good girl]_{4553-a good girl} . [I]_81-ruth 'll send [you]_4384-miss [your]_4384-miss breakfast by - and - by , and let [you]_4384-miss know from time to time how [he]_4554-he is ; and [you]_4384-miss can go out for a walk , [you]_4384-miss know ; but if [you]_4384-miss do , [I]_81-ruth 'll take it as a favour if [you]_4384-miss 'll go out by the side door . It will , maybe , save scandal . "_[81-ruth] All that day long , [Ruth]_81-ruth kept [herself]_81-ruth close prisoner in [the room to which [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} accorded [her]_81-ruth]_{1287-the room to which mrs morgan accorded her} ; all that day , and many succeeding days . But at nights , when [the house]_{426-the house} was still , and even the little brown mice had gathered up the crumbs , and darted again to [their]_1289-their holes , [Ruth]_81-ruth stole out , and crept to [his]_1290-he door to catch , if [she]_81-ruth could , the sound of [his]_1290-he beloved voice . [She]_81-ruth could tell by its tones how [he]_1290-he felt , and how [he]_1290-he was getting on , as well as any of [the watchers in [the room]_{357-the room}]_{1291-the watchers in the room} . [She]_81-ruth yearned and pined to see [him]_1290-he once more ; but [she]_81-ruth had reasoned [herself]_81-ruth down into something like patience . When [he]_1290-he was well enough to leave [[his]_1290-he room]_{4528-his room} , when [he]_1290-he had not always [one of [the nurses]_{1295-the nurses}]_{1294-one of the nurses} with [him]_1290-he , then [he]_1290-he would send for [her]_81-ruth , and [she]_81-ruth would tell [him]_1290-he how very patient [she]_81-ruth had been for [his]_1290-he dear sake . But it was long to wait even with this thought of the manner in which the waiting would end . [Poor Ruth]_81-ruth ! [her]_81-ruth faith was only building up vain castles in the air ; [they]_1296-they towered up into heaven , it is true , but , after all , [they]_1296-they were but visions . CHAPTER VIII [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} " Does the Thing Handsomely "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} If [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} did not get rapidly well , it was more owing to the morbid querulous fancy attendant on great weakness than from any unfavourable medical symptom . But [he]_1290-he turned away with peevish loathing from the very sight of food , prepared in the slovenly manner which had almost disgusted [him]_1290-he when [he]_1290-he was well . It was of no use telling [him]_1290-he that [Simpson]_136-simpson , [[[his]_1290-he mother]_{655-his mother} 's maid]_{1298-his mother 's maid} , had superintended the preparation at every point . [He]_1290-he offended [her]_{1298-his mother 's maid} by detecting something offensive and to be avoided in [her]_{1298-his mother 's maid} daintiest messes , and made [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} mutter many a hasty speech , which , however , [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} thought it better not to hear until [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} son]_{990-her son} should be strong enough to travel . " [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} think [you]_1290-he are better to - day , "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} said [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} , as [[his]_1290-he man]_{1300-his man} wheeled [his]_1290-he sofa to [the bedroom]_{1233-the bedroom} window . " [We]_4555-we shall get [you]_1290-he [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} to - morrow . "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} " If it were to get away from [this abominable place]_{4557-this abominable place} , [I]_1290-he could go down to - day ; but [I]_1290-he believe [I]_1290-he 'm to be kept prisoner here for ever . [I]_1290-he shall never get well [here]_4172-here , [I]_1290-he 'm sure . "_[1290-he] [He]_1290-he sank back on [his]_1290-he sofa in impatient despair . [The surgeon]_{343-the surgeon} was announced , and eagerly questioned by [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} as to the possibility of [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} son]_{990-her son} 's removal ; and [he]_1290-he , having heard the same anxiety for the same end expressed by [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} in [the regions below]_{1304-the regions below} , threw no great obstacles in the way . After [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} had taken [his]_1290-he departure , [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} cleared [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} throat several times . [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} knew the prelude of old , and winced with nervous annoyance . " [Henry]_137-henry , there is something [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} must speak to [you]_137-henry about ; an unpleasant subject , certainly , but one which has been forced upon [me]_{96-mrs bellingham} by [the very girl]_{4559-the very girl} [herself]_{4559-the very girl} ; [you]_137-henry must be aware to what [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} refer without giving [me]_{96-mrs bellingham} the pain of explaining [myself]_{96-mrs bellingham} . "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} turned [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} sharply round to the wall , and prepared [himself]_{94-mr bellingham} for a lecture by concealing [his]_{94-mr bellingham} face from [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} notice ; but [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} [herself]_{96-mrs bellingham} was in too nervous a state to be capable of observation . " Of course , "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} continued , " it was [my]_{96-mrs bellingham} wish to be as blind to the whole affair as possible , though [you]_137-henry ca n't imagine how [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} has blazoned it abroad ; all [Fordham]_27-fordham rings with it ; but of course it could not be pleasant , or , indeed , [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} may say correct , for [me]_{96-mrs bellingham} to be aware that [a person of such improper character]_{4560-a person of such improper character} was under the same -- [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} beg [your]_137-henry pardon , [dear Henry]_137-henry , what do [you]_137-henry say ? "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} " [Ruth]_81-ruth is no improper character , [mother]_4127-mother ; [you]_4127-mother do [her]_81-ruth injustice ! "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} " [[My]_{96-mrs bellingham} dear boy]_{4562-my dear boy} , [you]_137-henry do n't mean to uphold [her]_81-ruth as a paragon of virtue ! "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} " No , [mother]_4127-mother , but [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} led [her]_81-ruth wrong ; [I--]_{96-mrs bellingham} "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} " [We]_4564-we will let all discussions into the cause or duration of [her]_81-ruth present character drop , if [you]_137-henry please , "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} said [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} , with the sort of dignified authority which retained a certain power over [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} son]_{990-her son} -- a power which originated in childhood , and which [he]_{990-her son} only defied when [he]_{990-her son} was roused into passion . [He]_{990-her son} was too weak in body to oppose [himself]_{990-her son} to [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} , and fight the ground inch by inch . " As [I]_{990-her son} have implied , [I]_{990-her son} do not wish to ascertain [your]_137-henry share of blame ; from what [I]_{990-her son} saw of [her]_81-ruth one morning , [I]_{990-her son} am convinced of [her]_81-ruth forward , intrusive manners , utterly without shame , or even common modesty . "_{[990-her son]} " What are [you]_{94-mr bellingham} referring to ? "_{[94-mr bellingham]} asked [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , sharply . " Why , when [you]_137-henry were at the worst , and [I]_{94-mr bellingham} had been watching [you]_137-henry all night , and had just gone out in the morning for a breath of fresh air , [this girl]_{4565-this girl} pushed [herself]_{4565-this girl} before [me]_{94-mr bellingham} , and insisted upon speaking to [me]_{94-mr bellingham} . [I]_{94-mr bellingham} really had to send [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} to [her]_{4565-this girl} before [I]_{94-mr bellingham} could return to [[your]_137-henry room]_{4566-your room} . A more impudent , hardened manner , [I]_{94-mr bellingham} never saw . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " [Ruth]_81-ruth was neither impudent nor hardened ; [she]_81-ruth was ignorant enough , and might offend from knowing no better . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [He]_{94-mr bellingham} was getting weary of the discussion , and wished it had never been begun . From the time [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had become conscious of [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{655-his mother} 's presence , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had felt the dilemma [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was in in regard to [Ruth]_81-ruth , and various plans had directly crossed [his]_{94-mr bellingham} brain ; but it had been so troublesome to weigh and consider them all properly , that they had been put aside to be settled when [he]_{94-mr bellingham} grew stronger . But this difficulty in which [he]_{94-mr bellingham} was placed by [his]_{94-mr bellingham} connexion with [Ruth]_81-ruth , associated the idea of [her]_81-ruth in [his]_{94-mr bellingham} mind with annoyance and angry regret at the whole affair . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} wished , in the languid way in which [he]_{94-mr bellingham} wished and felt everything not immediately relating to [his]_{94-mr bellingham} daily comfort , that [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had never seen [her]_81-ruth . It was a most awkward , a most unfortunate affair . Notwithstanding this annoyance connected with and arising out of [Ruth]_81-ruth , [he]_{94-mr bellingham} would not submit to hear [her]_81-ruth abused ; and something in [his]_{94-mr bellingham} manner impressed this on [[his]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{655-his mother} , for [she]_{655-his mother} immediately changed [her]_{655-his mother} mode of attack . " [We]_4567-we may as well drop all dispute as to [the young woman]_{4568-the young woman} 's manners ; but [I]_{655-his mother} suppose [you]_{94-mr bellingham} do not mean to defend [your]_{94-mr bellingham} connexion with [her]_{4568-the young woman} ; [I]_{655-his mother} suppose [you]_{94-mr bellingham} are not so lost to all sense of propriety as to imagine it fit or desirable that [[your]_{94-mr bellingham} mother]_{4264-your mother} and [this degraded girl]_{4570-this degraded girl} should remain under the same roof , liable to meet at any hour of the day ? "_{[655-his mother]} [She]_{655-his mother} waited for an answer , but no answer came . " [I]_{655-his mother} ask [you]_{94-mr bellingham} a simple question ; is it , or is it not desirable ? "_{[655-his mother]} " [I]_{94-mr bellingham} suppose it is not , "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [he]_{94-mr bellingham} replied , gloomily . " And _ [I]_{94-mr bellingham} _ suppose , from [your]_{94-mr bellingham} manner , that [you]_{94-mr bellingham} think the difficulty would be best solved by [my]_{94-mr bellingham} taking [my]_{94-mr bellingham} departure , and leaving [you]_{94-mr bellingham} with [[your]_{94-mr bellingham} vicious companion]_{4571-your vicious companion} ? "_{[94-mr bellingham]} Again no answer , but inward and increasing annoyance , of which [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} considered [Ruth]_81-ruth the cause . At length [he]_{94-mr bellingham} spoke . " [Mother]_139-mother , [you]_139-mother are not helping [me]_{94-mr bellingham} in [my]_{94-mr bellingham} difficulty . [I]_{94-mr bellingham} have no desire to banish [you]_139-mother , nor to hurt [you]_139-mother , after all [your]_139-mother care for [me]_{94-mr bellingham} . [Ruth]_81-ruth has not been so much to blame as [you]_139-mother imagine , that [I]_{94-mr bellingham} must say ; but [I]_{94-mr bellingham} do not wish to see [her]_81-ruth again , if [you]_139-mother can tell [me]_{94-mr bellingham} how to arrange it otherwise , without behaving unhandsomely . Only spare [me]_{94-mr bellingham} all this worry while [I]_{94-mr bellingham} am so weak . [I]_{94-mr bellingham} put [myself]_{94-mr bellingham} in [your]_139-mother hands . Dismiss [her]_81-ruth , as [you]_139-mother wish it ; but let it be done handsomely , and let [me]_{94-mr bellingham} hear no more about it ; [I]_{94-mr bellingham} can not bear it ; let [me]_{94-mr bellingham} have a quiet life , without being lectured while [I]_{94-mr bellingham} am pent up here , and unable to shake off unpleasant thoughts . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " [[My]_{94-mr bellingham} dear]_{4145-my dear} [Henry]_137-henry , rely upon [me]_{94-mr bellingham} . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " No more , [mother]_4127-mother ; it 's a bad business , and [I]_{94-mr bellingham} can hardly avoid blaming [myself]_{94-mr bellingham} in the matter ; [I]_{94-mr bellingham} do n't want to dwell upon it . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} " Do n't be too severe in [your]_137-henry self - reproaches while [you]_137-henry are so feeble , dear [Henry]_137-henry ; it is right to repent , but [I]_1309-i have no doubt in [my]_1309-i own mind [she]_81-ruth led [you]_137-henry wrong with [her]_81-ruth artifices . But , as [you]_137-henry say , everything should be done handsomely . [I]_1309-i confess [I]_1309-i was deeply grieved when [I]_1309-i first heard of the affair , but since [I]_1309-i have seen the girl-- Well ! [I]_1309-i 'll say no more about [her]_81-ruth , since [I]_1309-i see it displeases [you]_137-henry ; but [I]_1309-i am thankful to [God]_104-leonard that [you]_137-henry see the error of [your]_137-henry ways . "_[1309-i] [She]_1309-i sat silent , thinking for a little while , and then sent for [her]_1309-i writing - case , and began to write . [[Her]_1309-i son]_{990-her son} became restless , and nervously irritated . " [Mother]_4127-mother , "_{[990-her son]} [he]_{990-her son} said , " this affair worries [me]_{990-her son} to death . [I]_{990-her son} can not shake off the thoughts of it . "_{[990-her son]} " Leave it to [me]_1309-i , [I]_1309-i 'll arrange it satisfactorily . "_[1309-i] " Could [we]_4575-we not leave to - night ? [I]_{990-her son} should not be so haunted by this annoyance in another place . [I]_{990-her son} dread seeing [her]_1309-i again , because [I]_{990-her son} fear a scene ; and yet [I]_{990-her son} believe [I]_{990-her son} ought to see [her]_1309-i , in order to explain . "_{[990-her son]} " [You]_{990-her son} must not think of such a thing , [Henry]_137-henry , "_[1309-i] said [she]_1309-i , alarmed at the very idea . " Sooner than that , [we]_4575-we will leave in half an hour , and try to get to [Pen trê Voelas]_{26-pen trê voelas} to - night . It is not yet three , and the evenings are very long . [Simpson]_136-simpson should stay and finish the packing ; [she]_1309-i could go straight to [London]_3-london and meet [us]_4575-we there . [Macdonald]_{140-macdonald} and [nurse]_4476-nurse could go with [us]_4575-we . Could [you]_137-henry bear twenty miles , do [you]_137-henry think ? "_[1309-i] Anything to get rid of [his]_1311-he uneasiness . [He]_1311-he felt that [he]_1311-he was not behaving as [he]_1311-he should do , to [Ruth]_81-ruth , though the really right never entered [his]_1311-he head . But it would extricate [him]_1311-he from [his]_1311-he present dilemma , and save [him]_1311-he many lectures ; [he]_1311-he knew that [[his]_1311-he mother]_{655-his mother} , always liberal where money was concerned , would " do the thing handsomely , "_{[655-his mother]} and it would always be easy to write and give [Ruth]_81-ruth what explanation [he]_1311-he felt inclined , in a day or two ; so [he]_1311-he consented , and soon lost some of [his]_1311-he uneasiness in watching the bustle of the preparation for [their]_1313-their departure . All this time [Ruth]_81-ruth was quietly spending in [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} , beguiling the waiting , weary hours , with pictures of the meeting at the end . [[Her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} looked to the back , and was in [a side - wing away from [the principal state apartments]_{1317-the principal state apartments}]_{1316-a side - wing away from the principal state apartments} , consequently [she]_81-ruth was not roused to suspicion by any of the commotion ; but , indeed , if [she]_81-ruth had heard the banging of doors , the sharp directions , the carriage - wheels , [she]_81-ruth would still not have suspected the truth ; [her]_81-ruth own love was too faithful . It was four o'clock and past , when [some one]_{378-some one} knocked at [her]_81-ruth door , and , on entering , gave [her]_81-ruth a note , which [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} had left . [That lady]_{1319-that lady} had found some difficulty in wording it , so as to satisfy [herself]_{1319-that lady} , but it was as follows : [[My]_0-i son]_{1320-my son} , on recovering from [his]_{1320-my son} illness , is , [I]_0-i thank [God]_104-leonard , happily conscious of the sinful way in which [he]_{1320-my son} has been living with [you]_1321-you . By [his]_{1320-my son} earnest desire , and in order to avoid seeing [you]_1321-you again , [we]_1322-we are on the point of leaving [this place]_{1323-this place} ; but before [I]_0-i go , [I]_0-i wish to exhort [you]_1321-you to repentance , and to remind [you]_1321-you that [you]_1321-you will not have [your]_1321-you own guilt alone upon [your]_1321-you head , but that of [any young man whom [you]_1321-you may succeed in entrapping into vice]_{1324-any young man whom you may succeed in entrapping into vice} . [I]_0-i shall pray that [you]_1321-you may turn to an honest life , and [I]_0-i strongly recommend [you]_1321-you , if indeed [you]_1321-you are not ' dead in trespasses and sins , ' to enter some penitentiary . In accordance with [[my]_0-i son]_{1320-my son} 's wishes , [I]_0-i forward [you]_1321-you in this envelope a bank - note of fifty pounds . [MARGARET BELLINGHAM]_{141-margaret bellingham} . Was this the end of all ? Had [he]_{1320-my son} , indeed , gone ? [She]_{141-margaret bellingham} started up , and asked this last question of [the servant , who , half guessing at the purport of the note]_{1326-the servant , who , half guessing at the purport of the note} , had lingered about [the room]_{357-the room} , curious to see the effect produced . " Iss , indeed , [miss]_4384-miss ; [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} drove from the door as [I]_81-ruth came [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} . [You]_4384-miss 'll see it now on [the Yspytty road]_{4580-the yspytty road} , if [you]_4384-miss 'll please to come to the window of [No . 24]_{4581-no . 24} . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth started up , and followed [the chambermaid]_{1328-the chambermaid} . Aye , there it was , slowly winding up [the steep white road]_{1329-the steep white road} , on which it seemed to move at a snail 's pace . [She]_{141-margaret bellingham} might overtake [him]_{1320-my son} -- [she]_{141-margaret bellingham} might -- [she]_{141-margaret bellingham} might speak one farewell word to [him]_{1320-my son} , print [his]_{1320-my son} face on [her]_{141-margaret bellingham} heart with a last look -- nay , when [he]_{1320-my son} saw [her]_{141-margaret bellingham} [he]_{1320-my son} might retract , and not utterly , for ever , leave [her]_{141-margaret bellingham} . Thus [she]_{141-margaret bellingham} thought ; and [she]_{141-margaret bellingham} flew back to [[her]_{141-margaret bellingham} room]_{792-her room} , and snatching up [her]_{141-margaret bellingham} bonnet , ran , tying the strings with [her]_{141-margaret bellingham} trembling hands as [she]_{141-margaret bellingham} went down [the stairs]_{1331-the stairs} , out at the nearest door , little heeding the angry words of [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} ; for [the hostess]_{1075-the hostess} , more irritated at [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} 's severe upbraiding at parting , than mollified by [her]_{141-margaret bellingham} ample payment , was offended by the circumstance of [Ruth]_81-ruth , in [her]_81-ruth wild haste , passing through the prohibited front door . But [Ruth]_81-ruth was away before [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} had finished [her]_{122-mrs morgan} speech , out and away , scudding along [the road]_{4274-the road} , thought - lost in the breathless rapidity of [her]_81-ruth motion . Though [her]_81-ruth heart and head beat almost to bursting , what did it signify if [she]_81-ruth could but overtake [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} ? It was a nightmare , constantly evading the most passionate wishes and endeavours , and constantly gaining ground . Every time it was visible it was in fact more distant , but [Ruth]_81-ruth would not believe it . If [she]_81-ruth could but gain [the summit of [that weary , everlasting hill]_{1336-that weary , everlasting hill}]_{1335-the summit of that weary , everlasting hill} , [she]_81-ruth believed that [she]_81-ruth could run again , and would soon be nigh upon [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} . As [she]_81-ruth ran , [she]_81-ruth prayed with wild eagerness ; [she]_81-ruth prayed that [she]_81-ruth might see [his]_1338-his face once more , even if [she]_81-ruth died on the spot before [him]_1338-his . It was one of those prayers which [God]_104-leonard is too merciful to grant ; but despairing and wild as it was , [Ruth]_81-ruth put [her]_81-ruth soul into it , and prayed it again , and yet again . Wave above wave of [the ever - rising hills]_{1339-the ever - rising hills} were gained , were crossed , and at last [Ruth]_81-ruth struggled up to the very top and stood on [the bare table of moor]_{1340-the bare table of moor} , brown and purple , stretching far away till [it]_1341-it was lost in the haze of the summer afternoon ; and [the white road]_{1342-the white road} was all flat before [her]_81-ruth , but [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} [she]_81-ruth sought and the figure [she]_81-ruth sought had disappeared . There was [no human being there]_{1344-no human being there} ; a few wild , black - faced mountain sheep quietly grazing near [the road]_{4274-the road} , as if it were long since [they]_1346-they had been disturbed by the passing of [any vehicle]_{1347-any vehicle} , was all the life [she]_81-ruth saw on [the bleak moorland]_{1348-the bleak moorland} . [She]_81-ruth threw [herself]_81-ruth down on the ling by the side of [the road]_{4274-the road} in despair . [Her]_81-ruth only hope was to die , and [she]_81-ruth believed [she]_81-ruth was dying . [She]_81-ruth could not think ; [she]_81-ruth could believe anything . Surely life was a horrible dream , and [God]_104-leonard would mercifully awaken [her]_81-ruth from it . [She]_81-ruth had no penitence , no consciousness of error or offence ; no knowledge of any one circumstance but that [he]_1350-he was gone . Yet afterwards , long afterwards , [she]_81-ruth remembered the exact motion of a bright green beetle busily meandering among the wild thyme near [her]_81-ruth , and [she]_81-ruth recalled the musical , balanced , wavering drop of a skylark into [her]_81-ruth nest near the heather - bed where [she]_81-ruth lay . The sun was sinking low , the hot air had ceased to quiver near the hotter earth , when [she]_81-ruth bethought [her]_81-ruth once more of the note which [she]_81-ruth had impatiently thrown down before half mastering its contents . " Oh , perhaps , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth thought , " [I]_81-ruth have been too hasty . There may be some words of explanation from [him]_1350-he on the other side of the page , to which , in [my]_81-ruth blind anguish , [I]_81-ruth never turned . [I]_81-ruth will go and find it . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth lifted [herself]_81-ruth heavily and stiffly from the crushed heather . [She]_81-ruth stood dizzy and confused with [her]_81-ruth change of posture ; and was so unable to move at first , that [her]_81-ruth walk was but slow and tottering ; but , by - and - by , [she]_81-ruth was tasked and goaded by thoughts which forced [her]_81-ruth into rapid motion , as if , by it , [she]_81-ruth could escape from [her]_81-ruth agony . [She]_81-ruth came down on the level ground , just as [many gay or peaceful groups]_{1351-many gay or peaceful groups} were sauntering leisurely [home]_4124-home with hearts at ease ; with low laughs and quiet smiles , and many an exclamation at the beauty of the summer evening . Ever since [her]_81-ruth adventure with [the little boy]_{584-the little boy} and [[his]_{584-the little boy} sister]_{4508-his sister} , [Ruth]_81-ruth had habitually avoided encountering [these happy -- innocents]_{1355-these happy -- innocents} , may [I]_0-i call [them?--these happy fellow - mortals]_{1356-them?--these happy fellow - mortals} ! And even now , the habit grounded on sorrowful humiliation had power over [her]_81-ruth ; [she]_81-ruth paused , and then , on looking back , [she]_81-ruth saw [more people who had come into [the main road]_{1358-the main road} from [a side path]_{1359-a side path}]_{1357-more people who had come into the main road from a side path} . [She]_81-ruth opened a gate into [a pasture - field]_{1360-a pasture - field} , and crept up to [the hedge - bank]_{1361-the hedge - bank} until all should have passed by , and [she]_81-ruth could steal into [the inn]_{1055-the inn} unseen . [She]_81-ruth sat down on the sloping turf by the roots of an old hawthorn - tree which grew in the hedge ; [she]_81-ruth was still tearless with hot burning eyes ; [she]_81-ruth heard [the merry walkers]_{1363-the merry walkers} pass by ; [she]_81-ruth heard the footsteps of [the village children]_{1364-the village children} as [they]_{1364-the village children} ran along to [their]_{1364-the village children} evening play ; [she]_81-ruth saw the small black cows come into [the fields]_{958-the fields} after being milked ; and life seemed yet abroad . When would [the world]_{506-the world} be still and dark , and fit for such a deserted , desolate creature as [she]_81-ruth was ? Even in [her]_81-ruth hiding - place [she]_81-ruth was not long at peace . [The little children]_{1367-the little children} , with [their]_{1367-the little children} curious eyes peering here and there , had peeped through the hedge , and through the gate , and now [they]_{1367-the little children} gathered from all the four corners of [the hamlet]_{1054-the hamlet} , and crowded round the gate ; and [one more adventurous than the rest]_{1369-one more adventurous than the rest} had run into [the field]_{741-the field} to cry , " Gi ' [me]_{1369-one more adventurous than the rest} a halfpenny , "_{[1369-one more adventurous than the rest]} which set the example to [every little one]_{1371-every little one} , emulous of [his]_{1371-every little one} boldness ; and there , where [she]_81-ruth sat , low on the ground , and longing for the sure hiding - place earth gives to the weary , [the children]_{550-the children} kept running in , and pushing [one another]_{1373-one another} forwards , and laughing . Poor things ; [their]_{550-the children} time had not come for understanding what sorrow is . [Ruth]_81-ruth would have begged [them]_{550-the children} to leave [her]_81-ruth alone , and not madden [her]_81-ruth utterly ; but [they]_{550-the children} knew no English save the one eternal " Gi ' [me]_81-ruth a halfpenny . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth felt in [her]_81-ruth heart that there was no pity anywhere . Suddenly , while [she]_81-ruth thus doubted [God]_104-leonard , a shadow fell across [her]_81-ruth garments , on which [her]_81-ruth miserable eyes were bent . [She]_81-ruth looked up . [The deformed gentleman [she]_81-ruth had twice before seen]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , stood there . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had been attracted by [the noisy little crowd]_{1375-the noisy little crowd} , and had questioned [them]_{1375-the noisy little crowd} in Welsh , but not understanding enough of the language to comprehend [their]_{1375-the noisy little crowd} answers , [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had obeyed [their]_{1375-the noisy little crowd} signs , and entered the gate to which [they]_{1375-the noisy little crowd} pointed . There [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} saw [the young girl whom [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had noticed at first for [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} innocent beauty]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} , and the second time for the idea [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had gained respecting [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} situation ; there [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} saw [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} , crouched up like some hunted creature , with a wild , scared look of despair , which almost made [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} lovely face seem fierce ; [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} saw [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} dress soiled and dim , [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} bonnet crushed and battered with [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} tossings to and fro on the moorland bed ; [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} saw [the poor , lost wanderer]_{1377-the poor , lost wanderer} , and when [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} saw [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} , [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had compassion on [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} . There was some look of heavenly pity in [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} eyes , as gravely and sadly [they]_1378-they met [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} upturned gaze , which touched [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} stony heart . Still looking at [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , as if drawing some good influence from [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , [she]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} said low and mournfully , " [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} has left [me]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} , [sir!--sir]_{4582-sir!--sir} , [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} has indeed -- [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} has gone and left [me]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} ! "_{[1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty]} Before [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} could speak a word to comfort [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} , [she]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} had burst into the wildest , dreariest crying ever mortal cried . The settled form of the event , when put into words , went sharp to [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} heart ; [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} moans and sobs wrung [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} soul ; but as no speech of [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} could be heard , if [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had been able to decide what best to say , [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} stood by [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} in apparent calmness , while [she]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} , wretched , wailed and uttered [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} woe . But when [she]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} lay worn out , and stupefied into silence , [she]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} heard [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} say to [himself]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , in a low voice : " Oh , [[my]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} God]_{867-my god} ! for Christ 's sake , pity [her]_{1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty} ! "_{[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen]} [Ruth]_81-ruth lifted up [her]_81-ruth eyes , and looked at [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} with a dim perception of the meaning of [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} words . [She]_81-ruth regarded [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} fixedly in a dreamy way , as if they struck some chord in [her]_81-ruth heart , and [she]_81-ruth were listening to its echo ; and so it was . [His]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} pitiful look , or [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} words , reminded [her]_81-ruth of the childish days when [she]_81-ruth knelt at [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} 's knee , and [she]_81-ruth was only conscious of a straining , longing desire to recall it all . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} let [her]_81-ruth take [her]_81-ruth time , partly because [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} was powerfully affected [himself]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} by all the circumstances , and by the sad pale face upturned to [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} ; and partly by an instinctive consciousness that the softest patience was required . But suddenly [she]_81-ruth startled [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , as [she]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth was startled into a keen sense of the suffering agony of the present ; [she]_81-ruth sprang up and pushed [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} aside , and went rapidly towards the gate of [the field]_{741-the field} . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} could not move as quickly as [most men]_{1381-most men} , but [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} put forth [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} utmost speed . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} followed across [the road]_{4274-the road} , on to [the rocky common]_{1383-the rocky common} ; but as [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} went along , with [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} uncertain gait , in the dusk gloaming , [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} stumbled , and fell over some sharp projecting stone . The acute pain which shot up [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} back forced a short cry from [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} ; and , when bird and beast are hushed into rest and the stillness of the night is over all , a high - pitched sound , like the voice of pain , is carried far in the quiet air . [Ruth]_81-ruth , speeding on in [her]_81-ruth despair , heard the sharp utterance , and stopped suddenly short . [It]_1384-it did what [no remonstrance]_{1385-no remonstrance} could have done ; it called [her]_81-ruth out of [herself]_81-ruth . The tender nature was in [her]_81-ruth still , in that hour when [all good angels]_{1386-all good angels} seemed to have abandoned [her]_81-ruth . In the old days [she]_81-ruth could never bear to hear or see bodily suffering in any of [[God]_104-leonard 's meanest creatures]_{1387-god 's meanest creatures} , without trying to succour [them]_{1387-god 's meanest creatures} ; and now , in [her]_81-ruth rush to the awful death of the suicide , [she]_81-ruth stayed [her]_81-ruth wild steps , and turned to find from [whom that sharp sound of anguish had issued]_{1388-whom that sharp sound of anguish had issued} . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} lay among the white stones , too faint with pain to move , but with an agony in [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} mind far keener than any bodily pain , as [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} thought that by [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} unfortunate fall [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had lost all chance of saving [her]_81-ruth . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} was almost overpowered by [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} intense thankfulness when [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} saw [her]_81-ruth white figure pause , and stand listening , and turn again with slow footsteps , as if searching for some lost thing . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} could hardly speak , but [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} made a sound which , though [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} heart was inexpressibly glad , was like a groan . [She]_81-ruth came quickly towards [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} . " [I]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} am hurt , "_{[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen]} said [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} ; " do not leave [me]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} ; "_{[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen]} [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} disabled and tender frame was overcome by the accident and the previous emotions , and [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} fainted away . [Ruth]_81-ruth flew to [the little mountain stream]_{1389-the little mountain stream} , the dashing sound of whose waters had been tempting [her]_81-ruth , but a moment before , to seek forgetfulness in [the deep pool into which]_{1390-the deep pool into which} [they]_1391-they fell . [She]_81-ruth made a basin of [her]_81-ruth joined hands , and carried enough of the cold fresh water back to dash into [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} face and restore [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} to consciousness . While [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} still kept silence , uncertain what to say best fitted to induce [her]_81-ruth to listen to [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , [she]_81-ruth said softly : " Are [you]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} better , sir?--are [you]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} very much hurt ? "_[81-ruth] " Not very much ; [I]_81-ruth am better . Any quick movement is apt to cause [me]_81-ruth a sudden loss of power in [my]_81-ruth back , and [I]_81-ruth believe [I]_81-ruth stumbled over some of these projecting stones . It will soon go off , and [you]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} will help [me]_81-ruth to go [home]_4124-home , [I]_81-ruth am sure . "_[81-ruth] " Oh , yes ! Can [you]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} go now ? [I]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} am afraid of [your]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} lying too long on [this heather]_{4585-this heather} ; there is a heavy dew . "_{[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen]} [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} was so anxious to comply with [her]_81-ruth wish , and not weary out [her]_81-ruth thought for [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , and so turn [her]_81-ruth back upon [herself]_81-ruth , that [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} tried to rise . The pain was acute , and this [she]_81-ruth saw . " Do n't hurry [yourself]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , [sir]_4181-sir ; [I]_81-ruth can wait . "_[81-ruth] Then came across [her]_81-ruth mind the recollection of the business that was thus deferred ; but the few homely words which had been exchanged between [them]_1392-them seemed to have awakened [her]_81-ruth from [her]_81-ruth madness . [She]_81-ruth sat down by [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , and , covering [her]_81-ruth face with [her]_81-ruth hands , cried mournfully and unceasingly . [She]_81-ruth forgot [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} presence , and yet [she]_81-ruth had a consciousness that [some one]_{378-some one} looked for [her]_81-ruth kind offices , that [she]_81-ruth was wanted in [the world]_{506-the world} , and must not rush hastily out of it . The consciousness did not take this definite form , it did not become a thought , but it kept [her]_81-ruth still , and it was gradually soothing [her]_81-ruth . " Can [you]_81-ruth help [me]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} to rise now ? "_{[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen]} said [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , after a while . [She]_81-ruth did not speak , but [she]_81-ruth helped [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} up , and then [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} took [her]_81-ruth arm , and [she]_81-ruth led [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} tenderly through all the little velvet paths , where the turf grew short and soft between the rugged stones . Once more on [the highway]_{1395-the highway} , [they]_1396-they slowly passed along in the moonlight . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} guided [her]_81-ruth by a slight motion of the arm , through [the more unfrequented lanes]_{1397-the more unfrequented lanes} , to [[his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} lodgings at [the shop]_{1153-the shop}]_{1398-his lodgings at the shop} ; for [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} thought for [her]_81-ruth , and conceived the pain [she]_81-ruth would have in seeing the lighted windows of [the inn]_{1055-the inn} . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} leant more heavily on [her]_81-ruth arm , as [they]_1396-they awaited the opening of the door . " Come in , "_{[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen]} said [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} , not relaxing [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} hold , and yet dreading to tighten it , lest [she]_81-ruth should defy restraint , and once more rush away . [They]_1396-they went slowly into [the little parlour behind [the shop]_{1153-the shop}]_{1401-the little parlour behind the shop} . [The bonny - looking hostess]_{1403-the bonny - looking hostess} , [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} by name , made haste to light the candle , and then [they]_1396-they saw [each other]_{579-each other} , face to face . [The deformed gentleman]_{1112-the deformed gentleman} looked very pale , but [Ruth]_81-ruth looked as if the shadow of death was upon [her]_81-ruth . CHAPTER IX [The Storm - Spirit Subdued Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} bustled about with many a sympathetic exclamation , now in pretty broken English , now in more fluent Welsh , which sounded as soft as Russian or Italian , in [her]_81-ruth musical voice . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , for that was the name of [the hunchback]_{1406-the hunchback} , lay on the sofa , thinking ; while [the tender Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} made every arrangement for [his]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} relief from pain . [He]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} had lodged with [her]_81-ruth for three successive years , and [she]_81-ruth knew and loved [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} . [Ruth]_81-ruth stood in the little bow - window , looking out . Across the moon , and over the deep blue heavens , large , torn , irregular - shaped clouds went hurrying , as if summoned by some storm - spirit . The work [they]_1396-they were commanded to do was not here ; [the mighty gathering - place]_{1407-the mighty gathering - place} lay eastward , immeasurable leagues , and on [they]_1396-they went , chasing each other over [the silent earth]_{1408-the silent earth} , now black , now silver - white at one transparent edge , now with the moon shining like Hope through [their]_1396-they darkest centre , now again with a silver lining ; and now , utterly black , [they]_1396-they sailed lower in the lift , and disappeared behind [the immovable mountains]_{1409-the immovable mountains} ; [they]_1396-they were rushing in the very direction in which [Ruth]_81-ruth had striven and struggled to go that afternoon ; [they]_1396-they , in [their]_1396-they wild career , would soon pass over the very spot where [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} ( [[[her]_81-ruth world]_{507-her world} 's [he]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} ) was lying sleeping , or perhaps not sleeping , perhaps thinking of [her]_81-ruth]_{1411-her world 's he ) was lying sleeping , or perhaps not sleeping , perhaps thinking of her} . The storm was in [her]_81-ruth mind , and rent and tore [her]_81-ruth purposes into forms as wild and irregular as the heavenly shapes [she]_81-ruth was looking at . If , like [them]_1396-they , [she]_81-ruth could pass the barrier horizon in the night , [she]_81-ruth might overtake [him]_{1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw [her]_81-ruth look , and read it partially . [He]_{143-mr benson} saw [her]_81-ruth longing gaze outwards upon [the free , broad world]_{1412-the free , broad world} , and thought that the syren waters , whose deadly music yet rang in [her]_81-ruth ears , were again tempting [her]_81-ruth . [He]_{143-mr benson} called [her]_81-ruth to [him]_{143-mr benson} , praying that [his]_{143-mr benson} feeble voice might have power . " [[My]_{143-mr benson} dear young lady]_{4587-my dear young lady} , [I]_{143-mr benson} have much to say to [you]_81-ruth ; and [God]_104-leonard has taken [my]_{143-mr benson} strength from [me]_{143-mr benson} now when [I]_{143-mr benson} most need it.--Oh , [I]_{143-mr benson} sin to speak so -- but , for [His]_{143-mr benson} sake , [I]_{143-mr benson} implore [you]_81-ruth to be patient here , if only till to - morrow morning . "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} looked at [her]_81-ruth , but [her]_81-ruth face was immovable , and [she]_81-ruth did not speak . [She]_81-ruth could not give up [her]_81-ruth hope , [her]_81-ruth chance , [her]_81-ruth liberty till to - morrow . " [God]_104-leonard help [me]_{143-mr benson} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , mournfully , " [my]_{143-mr benson} words do not touch [her]_81-ruth ; "_{[143-mr benson]} and , still holding [her]_81-ruth hand , [he]_{143-mr benson} sank back on the pillows . Indeed , it was true that [his]_{143-mr benson} words did not vibrate in [her]_81-ruth atmosphere . The storm - spirit raged there , and filled [her]_81-ruth heart with the thought that [she]_81-ruth was [an outcast]_{1413-an outcast} ; and the holy words , " for [His]_{143-mr benson} sake , "_{[143-mr benson]} were answered by the demon , who held possession , with a blasphemous defiance of [the merciful God]_{1414-the merciful god} : " What have [I]_{143-mr benson} to do with [Thee]_81-ruth ? "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} thought of every softening influence of religion which over [his]_{143-mr benson} own disciplined heart had power , but put them aside as useless . Then the still small voice whispered , and [he]_{143-mr benson} spake : " In [[your]_81-ruth mother]_{4264-your mother} 's name , whether [she]_{4264-your mother} be dead or alive , [I]_{143-mr benson} command [you]_81-ruth to stay here until [I]_{143-mr benson} am able to speak to [you]_81-ruth . "_{[143-mr benson]} [She]_81-ruth knelt down at the foot of the sofa , and shook it with [her]_81-ruth sobs . [Her]_81-ruth heart was touched , and [he]_{143-mr benson} hardly dared to speak again . At length [he]_{143-mr benson} said : " [I]_{143-mr benson} know [you]_81-ruth will not go -- [you]_81-ruth could not -- for [her]_{4264-your mother} sake . [You]_81-ruth will not , will [you]_81-ruth ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " No , "_[81-ruth] whispered [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and then there was a great blank in [her]_81-ruth heart . [She]_81-ruth had given up [her]_81-ruth chance . [She]_81-ruth was calm , in the utter absence of all hope . " And now [you]_81-ruth will do what [I]_{143-mr benson} tell [you]_81-ruth , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , gently , but , unconsciously to [himself]_{143-mr benson} , in the tone of [one who has found the hidden spell by which to rule spirits]_{1415-one who has found the hidden spell by which to rule spirits} . [She]_81-ruth slowly said , " Yes . "_[81-ruth] But [she]_81-ruth was subdued . [He]_{143-mr benson} called [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} . [She]_{142-mrs hughes} came from [[her]_{142-mrs hughes} adjoining shop]_{1416-her adjoining shop} . " [You]_{142-mrs hughes} have [a bedroom within [yours]_{142-mrs hughes}]_{4589-a bedroom within yours} , where [[your]_{142-mrs hughes} daughter]_{4590-your daughter} used to sleep , [I]_{142-mrs hughes} think ? [I]_{142-mrs hughes} am sure [you]_{142-mrs hughes} will oblige [me]_{142-mrs hughes} , and [I]_{142-mrs hughes} shall consider it as a great favour , if [you]_{142-mrs hughes} will allow [this young lady]_{4171-this young lady} to sleep [there]_332-there to - night . Will [you]_{142-mrs hughes} take [her]_{4171-this young lady} [there]_332-there now ? Go , [[my]_{142-mrs hughes} dear]_{4145-my dear} . [I]_{142-mrs hughes} have full trust in [your]_{142-mrs hughes} promise not to leave until [I]_{142-mrs hughes} can speak to [you]_{142-mrs hughes} . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} [His]_1417-he voice died away to silence ; but as [Ruth]_81-ruth rose from [her]_81-ruth knees at [his]_1417-he bidding , [she]_81-ruth looked at [his]_1417-he face through [her]_81-ruth tears . [His]_1417-he lips were moving in earnest , unspoken prayer , and [she]_81-ruth knew it was for [her]_81-ruth . That night , although [his]_1417-he pain was relieved by rest , [he]_1417-he could not sleep ; and , as in fever , the coming events kept unrolling themselves before [him]_1417-he in every changing and fantastic form . [He]_1417-he met [Ruth]_81-ruth in all possible places and ways , and addressed [her]_81-ruth in every manner [he]_1417-he could imagine most calculated to move and affect [her]_81-ruth to penitence and virtue . Towards morning [he]_1417-he fell asleep , but the same thoughts haunted [his]_1417-he dreams ; [he]_1417-he spoke , but [his]_1417-he voice refused to utter aloud ; and [she]_81-ruth fled , relentless , to [the deep , black pool]_{1418-the deep , black pool} . But [God]_104-leonard works in [His]_104-leonard own way . The visions melted into deep , unconscious sleep . [He]_1417-he was awakened by a knock at the door , which seemed a repetition of what [he]_1417-he had heard in [his]_1417-he last sleeping moments . It was [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} . [She]_{142-mrs hughes} stood at the first word of permission within [the room]_{357-the room} . " Please , [sir]_4181-sir , [I]_{142-mrs hughes} think [the young lady]_{476-the young lady} is very ill indeed , [sir]_4181-sir ; perhaps [you]_4181-sir would please to come to [her]_{476-the young lady} . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} " How is [she]_{476-the young lady} ill ? "_[1417-he] said [he]_1417-he , much alarmed . " Quite quiet - like , [sir]_4181-sir ; but [I]_1417-he think [she]_{476-the young lady} is dying , that 's all , indeed , [sir]_4181-sir ! "_[1417-he] " Go away , [I]_1417-he will be with [you]_1417-he directly ! "_[1417-he] [he]_1417-he replied , [his]_1417-he heart sinking within [him]_1417-he . In a very short time [he]_1417-he was standing with [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} by [Ruth]_81-ruth 's bedside . [She]_{142-mrs hughes} lay as still as if [she]_{142-mrs hughes} were dead , [her]_{142-mrs hughes} eyes shut , [her]_{142-mrs hughes} wan face numbed into a fixed anguish of expression . [She]_{142-mrs hughes} did not speak when [they]_1420-they spoke , though after a while [they]_1420-they thought [she]_{142-mrs hughes} strove to do so . But all power of motion and utterance had left [her]_{142-mrs hughes} . [She]_{142-mrs hughes} was dressed in everything , except [her]_{142-mrs hughes} bonnet , as [she]_{142-mrs hughes} had been the day before ; although sweet , thoughtful [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} had provided [her]_{142-mrs hughes} with nightgear , which lay on the little chest of drawers that served as a dressing - table . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} lifted up [her]_{142-mrs hughes} arm to feel [her]_{142-mrs hughes} feeble , fluttering pulse ; and when [he]_{143-mr benson} let go [her]_{142-mrs hughes} hand , it fell upon the bed in a dull , heavy way , as if [she]_{142-mrs hughes} were already dead . " [You]_{142-mrs hughes} gave [her]_{142-mrs hughes} some food ? "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , anxiously , to [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} . " Indeed , and [I]_{143-mr benson} offered [her]_{142-mrs hughes} the best in [the house]_{426-the house} , but [she]_{142-mrs hughes} shook [her]_{142-mrs hughes} poor pretty head , and only asked if [I]_{143-mr benson} would please to get [her]_{142-mrs hughes} a cup of water . [I]_{143-mr benson} brought [her]_{142-mrs hughes} some milk though , and ' deed , [I]_{143-mr benson} think [she]_{142-mrs hughes} 'd rather have had the water ; but not to seem sour and cross , [she]_{142-mrs hughes} took some milk . "_{[143-mr benson]} By this time [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} was fairly crying . " When does [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} come up [here]_4172-here ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Indeed , [sir]_4181-sir , and [he]_{4191-the doctor} 's up nearly every day now , [the inn]_{1055-the inn} is so full . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll go for [him]_{4191-the doctor} . And can [you]_{143-mr benson} manage to undress [her]_{142-mrs hughes} and lay [her]_{142-mrs hughes} in bed ? Open the window too , and let in the air ; if [her]_{142-mrs hughes} feet are cold , put bottles of hot water to [them]_4605-them . "_{[143-mr benson]} It was a proof of the true love , which was the nature of both , that it never crossed [their]_1421-their minds to regret that [this poor young creature]_{1422-this poor young creature} had been thus thrown upon [their]_1421-their hands . On the contrary , [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} called it " a blessing . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} " It blesseth [him]_{4191-the doctor} that gives , and [him]_{4191-the doctor} that takes . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} CHAPTER X A Note and the Answer At [the inn]_{1055-the inn} everything was life and bustle . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had to wait long in [[Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} 's little parlour]_{1424-mrs morgan 's little parlour} before [she]_{122-mrs morgan} could come to [him]_{143-mr benson} , and [he]_{143-mr benson} kept growing more and more impatient . At last [she]_{122-mrs morgan} made [her]_{122-mrs morgan} appearance and heard [his]_{143-mr benson} story . [People]_322-people may talk as [they]_322-people will about the little respect that is paid to virtue , unaccompanied by the outward accidents of wealth or station ; but [I]_0-i rather think it will be found that , in the long run , true and simple virtue always has its proportionate reward in the respect and reverence of every one whose esteem is worth having . To be sure , it is not rewarded after the way of [the world]_{506-the world} as mere worldly possessions are , with low obeisance and lip - service ; but all the better and more noble qualities in the hearts of [others]_368-others make ready and go forth to meet it on [its]_1428-its approach , provided only [it]_1428-its be pure , simple , and unconscious of [its]_1428-its own existence . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had little thought for outward tokens of respect just then , nor had [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} much time to spare ; but [she]_{122-mrs morgan} smoothed [her]_{122-mrs morgan} ruffled brow , and calmed [her]_{122-mrs morgan} bustling manner , as soon as ever [she]_{122-mrs morgan} saw who it was that awaited [her]_{122-mrs morgan} ; for [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was well known in [the village]_{1138-the village} where [he]_{143-mr benson} had taken up [his]_{143-mr benson} summer holiday among [the mountains]_{1090-the mountains} year after year , always [a resident at [the shop]_{1153-the shop}]_{1431-a resident at the shop} , and seldom spending a shilling at [the inn]_{1055-the inn} . [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} listened patiently -- for [her]_{122-mrs morgan} . " [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} will come this afternoon . But it is a shame [you]_{143-mr benson} should be troubled with such as [her]_{122-mrs morgan} . [I]_{122-mrs morgan} had but little time yesterday , but [I]_{122-mrs morgan} guessed there was something wrong , and [Gwen]_134-gwen has just been telling [me]_{122-mrs morgan} [her]_134-gwen bed has not been slept in . [They]_4606-they were in a pretty hurry to be gone yesterday , for all that [the gentleman]_{469-the gentleman} was not fit to travel , to [my]_{122-mrs morgan} way of thinking ; indeed , [William Wynn]_{144-william wynn} , [the post - boy]_{4608-the post - boy} , said [he]_{4608-the post - boy} was weary enough before [he]_{4608-the post - boy} got to the end of [that Yspytty road]_{4609-that yspytty road} ; and [he]_{4608-the post - boy} thought [they]_4606-they would have to rest there a day or two before [they]_4606-they could go further than [Pen trê Voelas]_{26-pen trê voelas} . Indeed , and anyhow , [the servant]_{692-the servant} is to follow [them]_4606-they with the baggage this very morning ; and now [I]_{122-mrs morgan} remember , [William Wynn]_{144-william wynn} said [they]_4606-they would wait for [her]_1434-her . [You]_{143-mr benson} 'd better write a note , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , and tell [them]_4606-they [her]_1434-her state . "_{[122-mrs morgan]} It was good , though unpalatable advice . It came from one accustomed to bring excellent , if unrefined sense , to bear quickly upon any emergency , and to decide rapidly . [She]_1434-her was , in truth , so little accustomed to have [her]_1434-her authority questioned , that before [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had made up [his]_{143-mr benson} mind , [she]_1434-her had produced paper , pens , and ink from the drawer in [[her]_1434-her bureau]_{1435-her bureau} , placed them before [him]_{143-mr benson} , and was going to leave [the room]_{357-the room} . " Leave the note on this shelf , and trust [me]_1434-her that it goes by [the maid]_{4520-the maid} . The boy that drives [her]_1434-her there in [the car]_{4612-the car} shall bring [you]_{143-mr benson} an answer back . "_[1434-her] [She]_1434-her was gone before [he]_{143-mr benson} could rally [his]_{143-mr benson} scattered senses enough to remember that [he]_{143-mr benson} had not the least idea of the name of [the party to whom [he]_{143-mr benson} was to write]_{1437-the party to whom he was to write} . The quiet leisure and peace of [[his]_{143-mr benson} little study at [home]_4124-home]_{1438-his little study at home} favoured [his]_{143-mr benson} habit of reverie and long deliberation , just as [her]_1434-her position as [mistress of [an inn]_{949-an inn}]_{1440-mistress of an inn} obliged [her]_1434-her to quick , decisive ways . [Her]_1434-her advice , though good in some points , was unpalatable in others . It was true that [Ruth]_81-ruth 's condition ought to be known by [those who were [[her]_81-ruth friends]_{1443-her friends}]_{1442-those who were her friends} ; but were [these people to whom [he]_{143-mr benson} was now going to write]_{1444-these people to whom he was now going to write} , [friends]_678-friends ? [He]_{143-mr benson} knew there was [a rich mother]_{1446-a rich mother} , and [a handsome , elegant son]_{1447-a handsome , elegant son} ; and [he]_{143-mr benson} had also some idea of the circumstances which might a little extenuate [their]_1448-their mode of quitting [Ruth]_81-ruth . [He]_{143-mr benson} had wide enough sympathy to understand that it must have been a most painful position in which [the mother]_{618-the mother} had been placed , on finding [herself]_{618-the mother} under the same roof with [a girl who was living with [[her]_{618-the mother} son]_{990-her son} , as [Ruth]_81-ruth was]_{1450-a girl who was living with her son , as ruth was} . And yet [he]_{143-mr benson} did not like to apply to [her]_{618-the mother} ; to write to [the son]_{1452-the son} was still more out of the question , as it seemed like asking [him]_{1452-the son} to return . But through one or the other lay the only clue to [[her]_{618-the mother} friends]_{1443-her friends} , who certainly ought to be made acquainted with [her]_{618-the mother} position . At length [he]_{143-mr benson} wrote : [MADAM,--I]_{145-madam,--i} write to tell [you]_{145-madam,--i} of the condition of [the poor young woman--[here]_{1454-the poor young woman--[here} came a long pause of deliberation]--who accompanied [[your]_{145-madam,--i} son]_{1455-your son} on [his]_{1452-the son} arrival [here]_4172-here , and who was left behind on [your]_{145-madam,--i} departure yesterday . [She]_81-ruth is lying ( as it appears to [me]_0-i ) in a very dangerous state at [[my]_0-i lodgings]_{1457-my lodgings} ; and , if [I]_0-i may suggest , it would be kind to allow [[your]_{145-madam,--i} maid]_{1458-your maid} to return and attend upon [her]_81-ruth until [she]_81-ruth is sufficiently recovered to be restored to [[her]_81-ruth friends]_{1443-her friends} , if , indeed , [they]_{1443-her friends} could not come to take charge of [her]_81-ruth [themselves]_{1443-her friends} . [I]_0-i remain , [madam]_4543-madam , [[Your]_{145-madam,--i} obedient servant]_{1461-your obedient servant} , [THURSTAN BENSON]_146-thurstan . The note was very unsatisfactory after all [his]_0-i consideration , but it was the best [he]_0-i could do . [He]_0-i made inquiry of [a passing servant]_{1462-a passing servant} as to [the lady]_{470-the lady} 's name , directed the note , and placed it on the indicated shelf . [He]_0-i then returned to [[his]_0-i lodgings]_{1464-his lodgings} , to await [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} 's coming and [the post - boy]_{4608-the post - boy} 's return . There was no alteration in [Ruth]_81-ruth ; [she]_81-ruth was as one stunned into unconsciousness ; [she]_81-ruth did not move [her]_81-ruth posture , [she]_81-ruth hardly breathed . From time to time [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} wetted [her]_{142-mrs hughes} mouth with some liquid , and there was a little mechanical motion of the lips ; that was the only sign of life [she]_{142-mrs hughes} gave . [The doctor]_{4191-the doctor} came and shook [his]_{4191-the doctor} head,--"a thorough prostration of strength , occasioned by some great shock on the nerves,"--and_{[4191-the doctor]} prescribed care and quiet , and mysterious medicines , but acknowledged that the result was doubtful , very doubtful . After [his]_0-i departure , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} took [his]_0-i Welsh grammar and tried again to master the ever - puzzling rules for the mutations of letters ; but it was of no use , for [his]_0-i thoughts were absorbed by the life - in - death condition of the young creature , who was lately bounding and joyous . [The maid]_{4520-the maid} and the luggage , [the car]_{4612-the car} and [the driver]_{1470-the driver} , had arrived before noon at [their]_1471-their journey 's end , and the note had been delivered . It annoyed [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} exceedingly . It was the worst of these kind of connexions , there was no calculating the consequences ; they were never - ending . All sorts of claims seemed to be established , and all sorts of [people]_322-people to step in to [[their]_1471-their settlement]_{1473-their settlement} . The idea of sending [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} maid]_{4434-her maid} ! Why , [Simpson]_136-simpson would not go if [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} asked [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} . [She]_{96-mrs bellingham} soliloquised thus while reading the letter ; and then , suddenly turning round to [the favourite attendant]_{1475-the favourite attendant} , who had been listening to [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} mistress]_{1274-her mistress} 's remarks with no inattentive ear , [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} asked : " [Simpson]_136-simpson , would [you]_136-simpson go and nurse [this creature]_{4613-this creature} , as this-- "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} looked at the signature--"Mr [Benson]_{143-mr benson} , whoever [he]_{143-mr benson} is , proposes ? "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} " [Me]_{4520-the maid} ! no , indeed , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , "_{[4520-the maid]} said [the maid]_{4520-the maid} , drawing [herself]_{4520-the maid} up , stiff in [her]_{4520-the maid} virtue . " [I]_{4520-the maid} 'm sure , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [you]_4148-ma'am would not expect it of [me]_{4520-the maid} ; [I]_{4520-the maid} could never have the face to dress [a lady of character]_{4616-a lady of character} again . "_{[4520-the maid]} " Well , well ! do n't be alarmed ; [I]_{4520-the maid} can not spare [you]_4148-ma'am ; by the way , just attend to the strings on [my]_{4520-the maid} dress ; [the chambermaid here]_{4617-the chambermaid here} pulled them into knots , and broke them terribly , last night . It is awkward though , very , "_{[4520-the maid]} said [she]_{4520-the maid} , relapsing into a musing fit over the condition of [Ruth]_81-ruth . " If [you]_4148-ma'am 'll allow [me]_{96-mrs bellingham} , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} think [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} might say something that would alter the case . [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} believe , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [you]_4148-ma'am put a bank - note into the letter to [the young woman]_{4568-the young woman} yesterday ? "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} bowed acquiescence , and [the maid]_{4520-the maid} went on : " Because , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , when [the little deformed man]_{4622-the little deformed man} wrote that note ( [he]_{4622-the little deformed man} 's [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am ) , [I]_{4520-the maid} have reason to believe neither [he]_{4622-the little deformed man} nor [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} knew of any provision being made for [the young woman]_{4568-the young woman} . [Me]_{4520-the maid} and [the chambermaid]_{1328-the chambermaid} found [your]_4148-ma'am letter and the bank - note lying quite promiscuous , like waste paper , on the floor of [[her]_{4568-the young woman} room]_{792-her room} ; for [I]_{4520-the maid} believe [she]_{4568-the young woman} rushed out like mad after [you]_4148-ma'am left . "_{[4520-the maid]} " That , as [you]_{4520-the maid} say , alters the case . This letter , then , is principally a sort of delicate hint that some provision ought to have been made , which is true enough , only it has been attended to already ; what became of the money ? "_{[4520-the maid]} " Law , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am ! do [you]_{4520-the maid} ask ? Of course , as soon as [I]_{4520-the maid} saw it , [I]_{4520-the maid} picked it up and took it to [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} , in trust for [the young person]_{4628-the young person} . "_{[4520-the maid]} " Oh , that 's right . What [friends]_678-friends has [she]_{4568-the young woman} ? Did [you]_4148-ma'am ever hear from [Mason?--perhaps]_{4630-mason?--perhaps} [they]_678-friends ought to know where [she]_{4568-the young woman} is . "_{[4520-the maid]} " [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} did tell [me]_{4520-the maid} , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [she]_{4568-the young woman} was [an orphan]_{4231-an orphan} ; with [a guardian who was no - ways akin]_{4633-a guardian who was no - ways akin} , and who washed [his]_{4633-a guardian who was no - ways akin} hands of [her]_{4568-the young woman} when [she]_{4568-the young woman} ran off ; but [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} was sadly put out , and went into hysterics , for fear [you]_4148-ma'am would think [she]_{82-mrs mason} had not seen after [her]_{4568-the young woman} enough , and that [she]_{82-mrs mason} might lose [your]_4148-ma'am custom ; [she]_{82-mrs mason} said it was no fault of [hers]_{82-mrs mason} , for [the girl]_{1016-the girl} was always a forward creature , boasting of [her]_{82-mrs mason} beauty , and saying how pretty [she]_{82-mrs mason} was , and striving to get where [her]_{82-mrs mason} good looks could be seen and admired,--one night in particular , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , at a county ball ; and how [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} had found out [she]_{82-mrs mason} used to meet [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} at [[an old woman]_{4636-an old woman} 's house]_{4637-an old woman 's house} , who was [a regular old witch]_{4638-a regular old witch} , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , and lives in [the lowest part of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{4640-the lowest part of the town} , where [all the bad characters]_{4642-all the bad characters} haunt . "_{[4520-the maid]} " [There]_332-there ! that 's enough , "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} said [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} , sharply , for [the maid]_{4520-the maid} 's chattering had outrun [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} tact ; and in [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} anxiety to vindicate the character of [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} friend]_{431-her friend} [Mrs Mason]_{82-mrs mason} by blackening that of [Ruth]_81-ruth , [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} had forgotten that [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} a little implicated [[[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} mistress]_{1274-her mistress} 's son , whom [[his]_{1482-her mistress 's son , whom his proud mother did not like to imagine as ever passing through a low and degraded part of the town} proud mother]_{1483-his proud mother} did not like to imagine as ever passing through [a low and degraded part of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{1484-a low and degraded part of the town}]_{1482-her mistress 's son , whom his proud mother did not like to imagine as ever passing through a low and degraded part of the town} . " If [she]_{82-mrs mason} has [no friends]_{690-no friends} , and is the creature [you]_4645-you describe ( which is confirmed by [my]_{96-mrs bellingham} own observation ) , [the best place for [her]_{82-mrs mason}]_{4646-the best place for her} is , as [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} said before , [the Penitentiary]_{4647-the penitentiary} . [Her]_{82-mrs mason} fifty pounds will keep [her]_{82-mrs mason} for a week or so , if [she]_{82-mrs mason} is really unable to travel , and pay for [her]_{82-mrs mason} journey ; and if on [her]_{82-mrs mason} return to [Fordham]_27-fordham [she]_{82-mrs mason} will let [me]_{96-mrs bellingham} know , [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} will undertake to obtain [her]_{82-mrs mason} admission immediately . "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} " [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} 'm sure it 's well for [her]_{82-mrs mason} [she]_{82-mrs mason} has to do with a lady who will take any interest in [her]_{82-mrs mason} , after what has happened . "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} called for [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} writing - desk , and wrote a few hasty lines to be sent back by [the post - boy , who was on the point of starting]_{1486-the post - boy , who was on the point of starting} : [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} presents [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} compliments to [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} unknown correspondent]_{1487-her unknown correspondent} , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , and begs to inform [him]_{143-mr benson} of a circumstance of which [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} believes [he]_{143-mr benson} was ignorant when [he]_{143-mr benson} wrote the letter with which [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} has been favoured ; namely , that provision to the amount of £ 50 was left for [the unfortunate young person who is the subject of [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's letter]_{1488-the unfortunate young person who is the subject of mr benson 's letter} . This sum is in the hands of [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} , as well as a note from [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} to [the miserable girl]_{1489-the miserable girl} , in which [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} proposes to procure [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} admission into [the Fordham Penitentiary]_{28-the fordham penitentiary} , the best place for [such a character]_{1490-such a character} , as by this profligate action [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} has forfeited [the only friend remaining to [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} in [the world]_{506-the world}]_{1491-the only friend remaining to her in the world} . This proposition , [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} repeats ; and [they]_1493-they are [[the young woman]_{4568-the young woman} 's best friends who most urge [her]_{96-mrs bellingham} to comply with the course now pointed out]_{1495-the young woman 's best friends who most urge her to comply with the course now pointed out} . " Take care [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} hears nothing of this [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's note , "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} said [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} , as [she]_{96-mrs bellingham} delivered the answer to [[her]_{96-mrs bellingham} maid]_{4434-her maid} ; " [he]_{143-mr benson} is so sensitive just now that it would annoy [him]_{143-mr benson} sadly , [I]_{96-mrs bellingham} am sure . "_{[96-mrs bellingham]} CHAPTER XI [Thurstan]_146-thurstan and [Faith Benson]_147-faith [You]_1497-you have now seen the note which was delivered into [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's hands , as the cool shades of evening stole over the glowing summer sky . When [he]_{143-mr benson} had read it , [he]_{143-mr benson} again prepared to write a few hasty lines before the post went out . [The post - boy]_{4608-the post - boy} was even now sounding [his]_{4608-the post - boy} horn through [the village]_{1138-the village} as a signal for letters to be ready ; and it was well that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , in [his]_{143-mr benson} long morning 's meditation , had decided upon the course to be pursued , in case of such an answer as that which [he]_{143-mr benson} had received from [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} . [His]_{143-mr benson} present note was as follows : [DEAR]_4155-dear [FAITH,--You]_4155-dear must come to [this place]_{1323-this place} directly , where [I]_0-i earnestly desire [you]_4155-dear and [your]_4155-dear advice . [I]_0-i am well [myself]_0-i , so do not be alarmed . [I]_0-i have no time for explanation , but [I]_0-i am sure [you]_4155-dear will not refuse [me]_0-i ; let [me]_0-i trust that [I]_0-i shall see [you]_4155-dear on Saturday at the latest . [You]_4155-dear know the mode by which [I]_0-i came ; it is the best for expedition and cheapness . [Dear Faith]_147-faith , do not fail [me]_0-i . [[Your]_4155-dear affectionate brother]_{1502-your affectionate brother} , [THURSTAN BENSON]_146-thurstan . P.S.--I am afraid the money [I]_0-i left may be running short . Do not let this stop [you]_4155-dear . Take [[my]_0-i Facciolati]_{1503-my facciolati} to [Johnson]_125-johnson 's , [he]_{1502-your affectionate brother} will advance upon it ; it is the third row , bottom shelf . Only come . When this letter was despatched [he]_146-thurstan had done all [he]_146-thurstan could ; and the next two days passed like a long monotonous dream of watching , thought , and care , undisturbed by any event , hardly by the change from day to night , which , now the harvest moon was at [her]_1504-her full , was scarcely perceptible . On Saturday morning the answer came . [DEAREST THURSTAN,--Your]_81-ruth incomprehensible summons has just reached [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i obey , thereby proving [my]_0-i right to [my]_0-i name of [Faith]_147-faith . [I]_0-i shall be with [you]_4155-dear almost as soon as this letter . [I]_0-i can not help feeling anxious , as well as curious . [I]_0-i have money enough , and it is well [I]_0-i have ; for [Sally]_148-sally , who guards [[your]_4155-dear room]_{4566-your room} like a dragon , would rather see [me]_0-i walk the whole way , than have any of [your]_4155-dear things disturbed . [[Your]_4155-dear affectionate sister]_{1506-your affectionate sister} , [FAITH BENSON]_147-faith . It was a great relief to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} to think that [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} would so soon be with [him]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{143-mr benson} had been accustomed from childhood to rely on [her]_{4508-his sister} prompt judgment and excellent sense ; and to [her]_{4508-his sister} care [he]_{143-mr benson} felt that [Ruth]_81-ruth ought to be consigned , as it was too much to go on taxing [good Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} with night watching and sick nursing , with all [her]_{4508-his sister} other claims on [her]_{4508-his sister} time . [He]_{143-mr benson} asked [her]_{4508-his sister} once more to sit by [Ruth]_81-ruth , while [he]_{143-mr benson} went to meet [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} . [The coach]_{1509-the coach} passed by the foot of the steep ascent which led up to [Llan - dhu]_{31-llan - dhu} . [He]_{143-mr benson} took [a boy]_{1510-a boy} to carry [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's luggage when [she]_{4508-his sister} arrived ; [they]_1512-they were too soon at [the bottom of [the hill]_{4277-the hill}]_{1513-the bottom of the hill} , and [the boy]_{4189-the boy} began to make ducks and drakes in [the shallowest part of [the stream]_{553-the stream}]_{1516-the shallowest part of the stream} , which there flowed glassy and smooth , while [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} sat down on a great stone , under the shadow of [an alder bush which grew where [the green , flat meadow skirted the water]_{1519-the green , flat meadow skirted the water}]_{1518-an alder bush which grew where the green , flat meadow skirted the water} . It was delightful to be once more in the open air , and away from the scenes and thoughts which had been pressing on [him]_{143-mr benson} for the last three days . There was new beauty in everything : from the blue mountains which glimmered in the distant sunlight , down to [the flat , rich , peaceful vale]_{1520-the flat , rich , peaceful vale} , with [its]_{1520-the flat , rich , peaceful vale} calm round shadows , where [he]_{143-mr benson} sat . The very margin of white pebbles which lay on [the banks of [the stream]_{553-the stream}]_{1521-the banks of the stream} had a sort of cleanly beauty about it . [He]_{143-mr benson} felt calmer and more at ease than [he]_{143-mr benson} had done for some days ; and yet , when [he]_{143-mr benson} began to think , it was rather a strange story which [he]_{143-mr benson} had to tell [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , in order to account for [his]_{143-mr benson} urgent summons . Here was [he]_{143-mr benson} , [sole friend and guardian of [a poor sick girl]_{1525-a poor sick girl} , whose very name [he]_{143-mr benson} did not know]_{1524-sole friend and guardian of a poor sick girl , whose very name he did not know} ; about whom all that [he]_{143-mr benson} did know was , that [she]_{1525-a poor sick girl} had been [the mistress of [a man who had deserted [her]_{1525-a poor sick girl}]_{1527-a man who had deserted her} , and that [he]_{143-mr benson} feared -- [he]_{143-mr benson} believed -- [she]_{1525-a poor sick girl} had contemplated suicide]_{1526-the mistress of a man who had deserted her , and that he feared -- he believed -- she had contemplated suicide} . The offence , too , was one for which [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , good and kind as [she]_{4508-his sister} was , had little compassion . Well , [he]_{143-mr benson} must appeal to [her]_{4508-his sister} love for [him]_{143-mr benson} , which was a very unsatisfactory mode of proceeding , as [he]_{143-mr benson} would far rather have had [her]_{4508-his sister} interest in [the girl]_{1016-the girl} founded on reason , or some less personal basis than showing it merely because [[her]_{4508-his sister} brother]_{982-her brother} wished it . [The coach]_{1509-the coach} came slowly rumbling over [the stony road]_{1532-the stony road} . [[His]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} was outside , but got down in a brisk active way , and greeted [[her]_{4508-his sister} brother]_{982-her brother} heartily and affectionately . [She]_{4508-his sister} was considerably taller than [he]_{143-mr benson} was , and must have been very handsome ; [her]_{4508-his sister} black hair was parted plainly over [her]_{4508-his sister} forehead , and [her]_{4508-his sister} dark , expressive eyes and straight nose still retained the beauty of [her]_{4508-his sister} youth . [I]_0-i do not know whether [she]_{4508-his sister} was older than [[her]_{4508-his sister} brother]_{982-her brother} , but , probably owing to [his]_{143-mr benson} infirmity requiring [her]_{4508-his sister} care , [she]_{4508-his sister} had something of [a mother]_{1536-a mother} 's manner towards [him]_{143-mr benson} . " [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , [you]_146-thurstan are looking pale ! [I]_{4508-his sister} do not believe [you]_146-thurstan are well , whatever [you]_146-thurstan may say . Have [you]_146-thurstan had the old pain in [your]_146-thurstan back ? "_{[4508-his sister]} " No -- a little -- never mind that , dearest [Faith]_147-faith . Sit down here , while [I]_{143-mr benson} send [the boy]_{4189-the boy} up with [[your]_146-thurstan box]_{4649-your box} . "_{[143-mr benson]} And then , with some little desire to show [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} how well [he]_{143-mr benson} was acquainted with the language , [he]_{143-mr benson} blundered out [his]_{143-mr benson} directions in very grammatical Welsh ; so grammatical , in fact , and so badly pronounced , that [the boy]_{4189-the boy} , scratching [his]_{4189-the boy} head , made answer , " Dim Saesoneg . "_{[4189-the boy]} So [he]_{143-mr benson} had to repeat it in English . " Well now , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , here [I]_{143-mr benson} sit as [you]_146-thurstan bid [me]_{143-mr benson} . But do n't try [me]_{143-mr benson} too long ; tell [me]_{143-mr benson} why [you]_146-thurstan sent for [me]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[143-mr benson]} Now came the difficulty , and oh ! for [a seraph]_{1539-a seraph} 's tongue , and a seraph 's powers of representation ! but there was no seraph at hand , only the soft running waters singing a quiet tune , and predisposing [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} to listen with a soothed spirit to any tale , not immediately involving [[her]_{4508-his sister} brother]_{982-her brother} 's welfare , which had been the cause of [her]_{4508-his sister} seeing that lovely vale . " It is an awkward story to tell , [Faith]_147-faith , but there is [a young woman lying ill at [[my]_{143-mr benson} lodgings]_{1457-my lodgings} whom [I]_{143-mr benson} wanted [you]_147-faith to nurse]_{4650-a young woman lying ill at my lodgings whom i wanted you to nurse} . "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} thought [he]_{143-mr benson} saw a shadow on [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's face , and detected a slight change in [her]_{4508-his sister} voice as [she]_{4508-his sister} spoke . " Nothing very romantic , [I]_{4508-his sister} hope , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan . Remember , [I]_{4508-his sister} can not stand much romance ; [I]_{4508-his sister} always distrust it . "_{[4508-his sister]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't know what [you]_{143-mr benson} mean by romance . The story is real enough , and not out of the common way , [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm afraid . "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} paused ; [he]_{143-mr benson} did not get over the difficulty . " Well , tell it [me]_{143-mr benson} at once , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan . [I]_{143-mr benson} am afraid [you]_{143-mr benson} have let [some one]_{378-some one} , or perhaps only [your]_{143-mr benson} own imagination , impose upon [you]_{143-mr benson} ; but do n't try [my]_{143-mr benson} patience too much ; [you]_{143-mr benson} know [I]_{143-mr benson} 've no great stock . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Then [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll tell [you]_{143-mr benson} . [The young girl]_{1017-the young girl} was brought to [the inn]_{1055-the inn} [here]_4172-here by [a gentleman]_{1084-a gentleman} , who has left [her]_{1017-the young girl} ; [she]_{1017-the young girl} is very ill , and has [no one]_{517-no one} to see after [her]_{1017-the young girl} . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had some masculine tricks , and one was whistling a long , low whistle when surprised or displeased . [She]_1542-she had often found it a useful vent for feelings , and [she]_1542-she whistled now . [[Her]_1542-she brother]_{982-her brother} would rather [she]_1542-she had spoken . " Have [you]_{982-her brother} sent for [[her]_{1017-the young girl} friends]_{1443-her friends} ? "_[1542-she] [she]_1542-she asked at last . " [She]_{1017-the young girl} has none . "_[1542-she] Another pause and another whistle , but rather softer and more wavering than the last . " How is [she]_{1017-the young girl} ill ? "_[1542-she] " Pretty nearly as quiet as if [she]_{1017-the young girl} were dead . [She]_{1017-the young girl} does not speak , or move , or even sigh . "_[1542-she] " It would be better for [her]_{1017-the young girl} to die at once , [I]_1542-she think . "_[1542-she] " [Faith]_147-faith ! "_[1542-she] That one word put [them]_1544-them right . It was spoken in the tone which had authority over [her]_1542-she ; it was so full of grieved surprise and mournful upbraiding . [She]_1542-she was accustomed to exercise a sway over [him]_{982-her brother} , owing to [her]_1542-she greater decision of character , and , probably , if everything were traced to its cause , to [her]_1542-she superior vigour of constitution ; but at times [she]_1542-she was humbled before [his]_{982-her brother} pure , childlike nature , and felt where [she]_1542-she was inferior . [She]_1542-she was too good and true to conceal this feeling , or to resent its being forced upon [her]_1542-she . After a time [she]_1542-she said , " [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , [dear]_4155-dear , let [us]_1546-they go to [her]_1542-she . "_[1542-she] [She]_1542-she helped [him]_{982-her brother} with tender care , and gave [him]_{982-her brother} [her]_1542-she arm up [the long and tedious hill]_{1545-the long and tedious hill} ; but when [they]_1546-they approached [the village]_{1138-the village} , without speaking a word on the subject , [they]_1546-they changed [their]_1546-they position , and [she]_1542-she leant ( apparently ) on [him]_{982-her brother} . [He]_{982-her brother} stretched [himself]_{982-her brother} up into as vigorous a gait as [he]_{982-her brother} could , when [they]_1546-they drew near to the abodes of [men]_836-men . On the way [they]_1546-they had spoken but little . [He]_{982-her brother} had asked after [various members of [[his]_{982-her brother} congregation]_{1550-his congregation}]_{1549-various members of his congregation} , for [he]_{982-her brother} was [a Dissenting minister in [a country town]_{1552-a country town}]_{1551-a dissenting minister in a country town} , and [she]_1542-she had answered ; but [they]_1546-they neither of [them]_1546-they spoke of [Ruth]_81-ruth , though [their]_1546-they minds were full of [her]_81-ruth . [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} had tea ready for [the traveller]_{1553-the traveller} on [her]_{142-mrs hughes} arrival . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} chafed a little internally at the leisurely way in which [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} sipped and sipped , and paused to tell [him]_{143-mr benson} some trifling particular respecting [home]_4124-home affairs , which [she]_{4508-his sister} had forgotten before . " [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} has refused to let [the children]_{550-the children} associate with [the Dixons]_{150-the dixons} any longer , because one evening [they]_{550-the children} played at acting charades . "_{[4508-his sister]} " Indeed;--a little more bread and butter , [Faith]_147-faith ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Thank [you]_{143-mr benson} . This Welsh air does make one hungry . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} is paying [poor old Maggie]_{152-poor old maggie} 's rent , to save [her]_{152-poor old maggie} from being sent into [the workhouse]_{4661-the workhouse} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " That 's right . Wo n't [you]_{143-mr benson} have another cup of tea ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} have had two . However , [I]_{143-mr benson} think [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll take another . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} could not refrain from a little sigh as [he]_{143-mr benson} poured it out . [He]_{143-mr benson} thought [he]_{143-mr benson} had never seen [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} so deliberately hungry and thirsty before . [He]_{143-mr benson} did not guess that [she]_{4508-his sister} was feeling the meal rather a respite from a distasteful interview , which [she]_{4508-his sister} was aware was awaiting [her]_{4508-his sister} at its conclusion . But all things come to an end , and so did [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's tea . " Now , will [you]_{143-mr benson} go and see [her]_81-ruth ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} And so [they]_1557-they went . [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} had pinned up a piece of green calico , by way of a Venetian blind , to shut out the afternoon sun ; and in the light thus shaded lay [Ruth]_81-ruth , still , and wan , and white . Even with [[her]_{142-mrs hughes} brother]_{982-her brother} 's account of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's state , such death - like quietness startled [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} -- startled [her]_{142-mrs hughes} into pity for [the poor lovely creature who lay thus stricken and felled]_{1559-the poor lovely creature who lay thus stricken and felled} . When [she]_{142-mrs hughes} saw [her]_81-ruth , [she]_{142-mrs hughes} could no longer imagine [her]_81-ruth to be [an impostor]_{1560-an impostor} , or [a hardened sinner]_{1561-a hardened sinner} ; such prostration of woe belonged to neither . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} looked more at [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's face than at [Ruth]_81-ruth 's ; [he]_{143-mr benson} read [her]_81-ruth countenance as a book . [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} stood by , crying . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} touched [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , and [they]_1564-they left [the room]_{357-the room} together . " Do [you]_{142-mrs hughes} think [she]_81-ruth will live ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [he]_{143-mr benson} . " [I]_{143-mr benson} can not tell , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , in a softened voice . " But how young [she]_81-ruth looks ! Quite [a child]_{556-a child} , poor creature ! When will [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} come , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan ? Tell [me]_{143-mr benson} all about [her]_81-ruth ; [you]_146-thurstan have never told [me]_{143-mr benson} the particulars . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} might have said , [she]_{4508-his sister} had never cared to hear them before , and had rather avoided the subject ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} was too happy to see this awakening of interest in [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's warm heart to say anything in the least reproachful . [He]_{143-mr benson} told [her]_{4508-his sister} the story as well as [he]_{143-mr benson} could ; and , as [he]_{143-mr benson} felt it deeply , [he]_{143-mr benson} told it with heart 's eloquence ; and , as [he]_{143-mr benson} ended and looked at [her]_{4508-his sister} , there were tears in the eyes of both . " And what does [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} say ? "_{[4508-his sister]} asked [she]_{4508-his sister} , after a pause . " [He]_{4191-the doctor} insists upon quiet ; [he]_{4191-the doctor} orders medicines and strong broth . [I]_{4508-his sister} can not tell [you]_146-thurstan all ; [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} can . [She]_{4508-his sister} has been so truly good . ' Doing good , hoping for nothing again . ' "_{[4508-his sister]} " [She]_{4508-his sister} looks very sweet and gentle . [I]_{4508-his sister} shall sit up to - night and watch [her]_{4508-his sister} [myself]_{4508-his sister} ; and [I]_{4508-his sister} shall send [you]_146-thurstan and [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} early to bed , for [you]_146-thurstan have both a worn look about [you]_146-thurstan [I]_{4508-his sister} do n't like . Are [you]_146-thurstan sure the effect of that fall has gone off ? Do [you]_146-thurstan feel anything of it in [your]_146-thurstan back still ? After all , [I]_{4508-his sister} owe [her]_{4508-his sister} something for turning back to [your]_146-thurstan help . Are [you]_146-thurstan sure [she]_{4508-his sister} was going to drown [herself]_{4508-his sister} ? "_{[4508-his sister]} " [I]_{4508-his sister} can not be sure , for [I]_{4508-his sister} have not questioned [her]_{4508-his sister} . [She]_{4508-his sister} has not been in a state to be questioned ; but [I]_{4508-his sister} have no doubt whatever about it . But [you]_146-thurstan must not think of sitting up after [your]_146-thurstan journey , [Faith]_147-faith . "_{[4508-his sister]} " Answer [me]_{4508-his sister} , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan . Do [you]_146-thurstan feel any bad effect from that fall ? "_{[4508-his sister]} " No , hardly any . Do n't sit up , [Faith]_147-faith , to - night ! "_{[4508-his sister]} " [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , it 's no use talking , for [I]_{4508-his sister} shall ; and , if [you]_146-thurstan go on opposing [me]_{4508-his sister} , [I]_{4508-his sister} dare say [I]_{4508-his sister} shall attack [your]_146-thurstan back , and put a blister on it . Do tell [me]_{4508-his sister} what that ' hardly any ' means . Besides , to set [you]_146-thurstan quite at ease , [you]_146-thurstan know [I]_{4508-his sister} have never seen [mountains]_{4665-mountains} before , and [they]_{4665-mountains} fill [me]_{4508-his sister} and oppress [me]_{4508-his sister} so much that [I]_{4508-his sister} could not sleep ; [I]_{4508-his sister} must keep awake this first night , and see that [they]_{4665-mountains} do n't fall on [the earth]_{843-the earth} and overwhelm it . And now answer [my]_{4508-his sister} questions about [yourself]_{4667-yourself} . "_{[4508-his sister]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had the power , which [some people]_{1567-some people} have , of carrying [her]_1568-her wishes through to [their]_{1567-some people} fulfilment ; [her]_1568-her will was strong , [her]_1568-her sense was excellent , and [people]_322-people yielded to [her]_1568-her -- [they]_322-people did not know why . Before ten o'clock [she]_1568-her reigned sole power and potentate in [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's little chamber]_{1570-ruth 's little chamber} . Nothing could have been better devised for giving [her]_1568-her an interest in [the invalid]_{738-the invalid} . The very dependence of one so helpless upon [her]_1568-her care inclined [her]_1568-her heart towards [her]_1568-her . [She]_1568-her thought [she]_1568-her perceived a slight improvement in the symptoms during the night , and [she]_1568-her was a little pleased that this progress should have been made while [she]_1568-her reigned monarch of [the sick - room]_{1188-the sick - room} . Yes , certainly there was an improvement . There was more consciousness in the look of the eyes , although the whole countenance still retained its painful traces of acute suffering , manifested in an anxious , startled , uneasy aspect . It was broad morning light , though barely five o'clock , when [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} caught the sight of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's lips moving , as if in speech . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} stooped down to listen . " Who are [you]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , in the faintest of whispers . " [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} -- [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's sister]_{4668-mr benson 's sister} , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth replied . The words conveyed no knowledge to [Ruth]_81-ruth ; on the contrary , weak as [a babe in mind and body]_{1573-a babe in mind and body} as [she]_81-ruth was , [her]_81-ruth lips began to quiver , and [her]_81-ruth eyes to show a terror similar to that of [any little child who wakens in the presence of a stranger]_{1574-any little child who wakens in the presence of a stranger} , and sees no dear , familiar face of [mother]_4127-mother or [nurse]_4476-nurse to reassure [its]_{1574-any little child who wakens in the presence of a stranger} trembling heart . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} took [her]_81-ruth hand in [hers]_{143-mr benson} , and began to stroke it caressingly . " Do n't be afraid , [dear]_4155-dear ; [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm [a friend]_{672-a friend} come to take care of [you]_4155-dear . Would [you]_4155-dear like some tea now , [[my]_{143-mr benson} love]_{4345-my love} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} The very utterance of these gentle words was unlocking [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's heart . [[Her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} was surprised to see [her]_81-ruth so full of interest , when [he]_{982-her brother} came to inquire later on in the morning . It required [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} 's persuasions , as well as [his]_{982-her brother} own , to induce [her]_81-ruth to go to bed for an hour or two after breakfast ; and , before [she]_81-ruth went , [she]_81-ruth made [them]_1578-them promise that [she]_81-ruth should be called when [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} came . [He]_{982-her brother} did not come until late in the afternoon . [The invalid]_{738-the invalid} was rallying fast , though rallying to a consciousness of sorrow , as was evinced by the tears which came slowly rolling down [her]_81-ruth pale sad cheeks -- tears which [she]_81-ruth had not the power to wipe away . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had remained in [the house]_{426-the house} all day to hear [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} 's opinion ; and now that [he]_{143-mr benson} was relieved from the charge of [Ruth]_81-ruth by [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's presence , [he]_{143-mr benson} had the more time to dwell upon the circumstances of [her]_81-ruth case -- so far as they were known to [him]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{143-mr benson} remembered [his]_{143-mr benson} first sight of [her]_81-ruth ; [her]_81-ruth little figure swaying to and fro as [she]_81-ruth balanced [herself]_81-ruth on the slippery stones , half smiling at [her]_81-ruth own dilemma , with a bright , happy light in the eyes that seemed like a reflection from the glancing waters sparkling below . Then [he]_{143-mr benson} recalled the changed , affrighted look of those eyes as they met [his]_{143-mr benson} , after [the child]_{565-the child} 's rebuff of [her]_81-ruth advances;--how that little incident filled up the tale at which [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} had hinted , in a kind of sorrowful way , as if loath ( as [a Christian]_{1585-a christian} should be ) to believe evil . Then that fearful evening , when [he]_{143-mr benson} had only just saved [her]_81-ruth from committing suicide , and that nightmare sleep ! And now , lost , forsaken , and but just delivered from the jaws of death , [she]_81-ruth lay dependent for everything on [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} and [him,--utter strangers]_{1587-him,--utter strangers} a few weeks ago . Where was [[her]_81-ruth lover]_{1247-her lover} ? Could [he]_{143-mr benson} be easy and happy ? Could [he]_{143-mr benson} grow into perfect health , with these great sins pressing on [his]_{143-mr benson} conscience with a strong and hard pain ? Or had [he]_{143-mr benson} a conscience ? Into whole labyrinths of social ethics [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's thoughts wandered , when [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} entered suddenly and abruptly . " What does [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} say ? Is [she]_{4508-his sister} better ? "_{[4508-his sister]} " Oh , yes ! [she]_{4508-his sister} 's better , "_{[143-mr benson]} answered [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , sharp and short . [[Her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} looked at [her]_81-ruth in dismay . [She]_81-ruth bumped down into a chair in a cross , disconcerted manner . [They]_1591-they were both silent for a few minutes ; only [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} whistled and clucked alternately . " What is the matter , [Faith]_147-faith ? [You]_147-faith say [she]_{4508-his sister} is better . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Why , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , there is something so shocking the matter , that [I]_{143-mr benson} can not tell [you]_146-thurstan . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} changed colour with affright . All things possible and impossible crossed [his]_{143-mr benson} mind but the right one . [I]_0-i said , " all things possible ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i made a mistake . [He]_{143-mr benson} never believed [Ruth]_81-ruth to be more guilty than [she]_81-ruth seemed . " [Faith]_147-faith , [I]_{143-mr benson} wish [you]_147-faith would tell [me]_{143-mr benson} , and not bewilder [me]_{143-mr benson} with those noises of yours , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , nervously . " [I]_{143-mr benson} beg [your]_147-faith pardon ; but something so shocking has just been discovered -- [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't know how to word it -- [She]_81-ruth will have [a child]_{556-a child} . [The doctor]_{4191-the doctor} says so . "_{[143-mr benson]} [She]_81-ruth was allowed to make noises unnoticed for a few minutes . [[Her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} did not speak . At last [she]_81-ruth wanted [his]_{143-mr benson} sympathy . " Is n't it shocking , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan ? [You]_146-thurstan might have knocked [me]_81-ruth down with a straw when [he]_{4191-the doctor} told [me]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] " Does [she]_81-ruth know ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes ; and [I]_{143-mr benson} am not sure that that is n't the worst part of all . "_{[143-mr benson]} " How?--what do [you]_146-thurstan mean ? "_[81-ruth] " Oh ! [I]_{143-mr benson} was just beginning to have a good opinion of [her]_81-ruth , but [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm afraid [she]_81-ruth is very depraved . After [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} was gone , [she]_81-ruth pulled the bed - curtain aside , and looked as if [she]_81-ruth wanted to speak to [me]_{143-mr benson} . ( [I]_{143-mr benson} ca n't think how [she]_81-ruth heard , for [we]_4676-we were close to the window , and spoke very low . ) Well , [I]_{143-mr benson} went to [her]_81-ruth , though [I]_{143-mr benson} really had taken quite a turn against [her]_81-ruth . And [she]_81-ruth whispered , quite eagerly , ' Did [he]_{4191-the doctor} say [I]_{143-mr benson} should have [a baby]_{4677-a baby} ? ' Of course , [I]_{143-mr benson} could not keep it from [her]_81-ruth ; but [I]_{143-mr benson} thought it [my]_{143-mr benson} duty to look as cold and severe as [I]_{143-mr benson} could . [She]_81-ruth did not seem to understand how it ought to be viewed , but took it just as if [she]_81-ruth had a right to have [a baby]_{4677-a baby} . [She]_81-ruth said , ' Oh , [[my]_{143-mr benson} God]_{867-my god} , [I]_{143-mr benson} thank [Thee]_{143-mr benson} ! Oh ! [I]_{143-mr benson} will be so good ! ' [I]_{143-mr benson} had no patience with [her]_81-ruth then , so [I]_{143-mr benson} left [the room]_{357-the room} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Who is with [her]_81-ruth ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} . [She]_81-ruth is not seeing the thing in a moral light , as [I]_81-ruth should have expected . "_[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was silent again . After some time [he]_{143-mr benson} began : " Faith , [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't see this affair quite as [you]_81-ruth do . [I]_{143-mr benson} believe [I]_{143-mr benson} am right . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [You]_{143-mr benson} surprise [me]_{143-mr benson} , [brother]_4681-brother ! [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't understand [you]_4681-brother . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Wait awhile ! [I]_81-ruth want to make [my]_81-ruth feelings very clear to [you]_4681-brother , but [I]_81-ruth do n't know where to begin , or how to express [myself]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] " It is , indeed , an extraordinary subject for [us]_4682-us to have to talk about ; but if once [I]_{982-her brother} get clear of [this girl]_{4565-this girl} , [I]_{982-her brother} 'll wash [my]_{982-her brother} hands of all such cases again . "_{[982-her brother]} [[Her]_1593-her brother]_{982-her brother} was not attending to [her]_1593-her ; [he]_{982-her brother} was reducing [his]_{982-her brother} own ideas to form . " Faith , do [you]_1593-her know [I]_{982-her brother} rejoice in [this child]_{4684-this child} 's advent ? "_{[982-her brother]} " May [God]_104-leonard forgive [you]_4681-brother , [Thurstan!--if]_{153-thurstan!--if} [you]_4681-brother know what [you]_4681-brother are saying . But , surely , it is a temptation , [dear Thurstan]_146-thurstan . "_{[982-her brother]} " [I]_{982-her brother} do not think it is a delusion . The sin appears to [me]_{982-her brother} to be quite distinct from its consequences . "_{[982-her brother]} " Sophistry -- and a temptation , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , decidedly . " No , it is not , "_{[982-her brother]} said [[her]_1593-her brother]_{982-her brother} , with equal decision . " In the eye of [God]_104-leonard , [she]_{4684-this child} is exactly the same as if the life [she]_{4684-this child} has led had left no trace behind . [We]_4685-we knew [her]_{4684-this child} errors before , [Faith]_147-faith . "_{[982-her brother]} " Yes , but not this disgrace -- this badge of [her]_{4684-this child} shame ! "_{[982-her brother]} " Faith , [Faith]_147-faith ! let [me]_1596-his beg of [you]_4681-brother not to speak so of [the little innocent babe , who may be [[God]_104-leonard 's messenger]_{4687-god 's messenger} to lead [her]_{4684-this child} back to [Him]_104-leonard]_{4686-the little innocent babe , who may be god 's messenger to lead her back to him} . Think again of [her]_{4684-this child} first words -- the burst of nature from [her]_{4684-this child} heart ! Did [she]_{4684-this child} not turn to [God]_104-leonard , and enter into a covenant with [Him--'I]_104-leonard will be so good ? ' Why , it draws [her]_{4684-this child} out of [herself]_{4684-this child} ! If [her]_{4684-this child} life has hitherto been self - seeking , and wickedly thoughtless , here is the very instrument to make [her]_{4684-this child} forget [herself]_{4684-this child} , and be thoughtful for another . Teach [her]_{4684-this child} ( and [God]_104-leonard will teach [her]_{4684-this child} , if [man]_661-man does not come between ) to reverence [[her]_{4684-this child} child]_{631-her child} ; and this reverence will shut out sin,--will be purification . "_[1596-his] [He]_1596-his was very much excited ; [he]_1596-his was even surprised at [his]_1596-his own excitement ; but [his]_1596-his thoughts and meditations through the long afternoon had prepared [his]_1596-his mind for this manner of viewing the subject . " These are quite new ideas to [me]_{143-mr benson} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , coldly . " [I]_{143-mr benson} think [you]_1596-his , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , are [the first person [I]_{143-mr benson} ever heard rejoicing over the birth of [an illegitimate child]_{4691-an illegitimate child}]_{4690-the first person i ever heard rejoicing over the birth of an illegitimate child} . It appears to [me]_{143-mr benson} , [I]_{143-mr benson} must own , rather questionable morality . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_1597-i do not rejoice . [I]_1597-i have been all this afternoon mourning over the sin which has blighted [this young creature]_{4692-this young creature} ; [I]_1597-i have been dreading lest , as [she]_{4692-this young creature} recovered consciousness , there should be a return of [her]_{4692-this young creature} despair . [I]_1597-i have been thinking of every holy word , every promise to [the penitent]_{4693-the penitent} -- of the tenderness which led [the Magdalen]_118-mary aright . [I]_1597-i have been feeling , severely and reproachfully , the timidity which has hitherto made [me]_1597-i blink all encounter with evils of this particular kind . Oh , Faith ! once for all , do not accuse [me]_1597-i of questionable morality , when [I]_1597-i am trying more than ever [I]_1597-i did in [my]_1597-i life to act as [[my]_1597-i blessed Lord]_{4694-my blessed lord} would have done . "_[1597-i] [He]_1597-i was very much agitated . [[His]_1597-i sister]_{4508-his sister} hesitated , and then [she]_{4508-his sister} spoke more softly than before . " But , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , everything might have been done to ' lead [her]_{4692-this young creature} right ' ( as [you]_146-thurstan call it ) , without [this child]_{4684-this child} , [this miserable offspring of sin]_{4696-this miserable offspring of sin} . "_{[4508-his sister]} " [The world]_{506-the world} has , indeed , made [such children]_{4698-such children} miserable , innocent as [they]_{4698-such children} are ; but [I]_{4508-his sister} doubt if this be according to the will of [God]_104-leonard , unless it be [His]_1597-i punishment for [the parents]_{4699-the parents} ' guilt ; and even then [the world]_{506-the world} 's way of treatment is too apt to harden [the mother]_{618-the mother} 's natural love into something like hatred . Shame , and the terror of [friends]_678-friends ' displeasure , turn [her]_{618-the mother} mad -- defile [her]_{618-the mother} holiest instincts ; and , as for [the fathers]_{4703-the fathers} -- [God]_104-leonard forgive [them]_{4703-the fathers} ! [I]_{4508-his sister} cannot -- at least , not just now . "_{[4508-his sister]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} thought on what [[her]_1599-her brother]_{982-her brother} said . At length [she]_1599-her asked , " [Thurstan]_146-thurstan ( remember [I]_1599-her 'm not convinced ) , how would [you]_146-thurstan have [this girl]_{4565-this girl} treated according to [your]_146-thurstan theory ? "_[1599-her] " It will require some time , and much Christian love , to find out the best way . [I]_{982-her brother} know [I]_{982-her brother} 'm not very wise ; but the way [I]_{982-her brother} think it would be right to act in , would be this-- "_{[982-her brother]} [He]_{982-her brother} thought for some time before [he]_{982-her brother} spoke , and then said : " [She]_{4565-this girl} has incurred a responsibility -- that [we]_4705-we both acknowledge . [She]_{4565-this girl} is about to become [a mother]_{1536-a mother} , and have the direction and guidance of a little tender life . [I]_{982-her brother} fancy such a responsibility must be serious and solemn enough , without making it into a heavy and oppressive burden , so that human nature recoils from bearing it . While [we]_4705-we do all [we]_4705-we can to strengthen [her]_{4565-this girl} sense of responsibility , [I]_{982-her brother} would likewise do all [we]_4705-we can to make [her]_{4565-this girl} feel that it is responsibility for what may become a blessing . "_{[982-her brother]} " Whether [the children]_{550-the children} are legitimate or illegitimate ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , drily . " Yes ! "_{[982-her brother]} said [[her]_1601-her brother]_{982-her brother} , firmly . " The more [I]_{982-her brother} think , the more [I]_{982-her brother} believe [I]_{982-her brother} am right . [No one]_{517-no one} , "_{[982-her brother]} said [he]_{982-her brother} , blushing faintly as [he]_{982-her brother} spoke , " can have a greater recoil from profligacy than [I]_{982-her brother} have . [You]_{143-mr benson} [yourself]_{143-mr benson} have not greater sorrow over [this young creature]_{4692-this young creature} 's sin than [I]_{982-her brother} have : the difference is this , [you]_{143-mr benson} confuse the consequences with the sin . "_{[982-her brother]} " [I]_{982-her brother} do n't understand metaphysics . "_{[982-her brother]} " [I]_1603-his am not aware that [I]_1603-his am talking metaphysics . [I]_1603-his can imagine that if the present occasion be taken rightly , and used well , all that is good in [her]_{4692-this young creature} may be raised to a height unmeasured but by [God]_104-leonard ; while all that is evil and dark may , by [His]_104-leonard blessing , fade and disappear in the pure light of [[her]_{4692-this young creature} child]_{631-her child} 's presence . Oh , [Father]_4711-father ! listen to [my]_1603-his prayer , that [her]_{4692-this young creature} redemption may date from this time . Help [us]_4712-us to speak to [her]_{4692-this young creature} in the loving spirit of [[thy]_{4692-this young creature} Holy Son]_{4713-thy holy son} ! "_[1603-his] The tears were full in [his]_1603-his eyes ; [he]_1603-his almost trembled in [his]_1603-his earnestness . [He]_1603-his was faint with the strong power of [his]_1603-his own conviction , and with [his]_1603-his inability to move [[his]_1603-his sister]_{4508-his sister} . But [she]_{4508-his sister} was shaken . [She]_{4508-his sister} sat very still for a quarter of an hour or more , while [he]_1603-his leaned back , exhausted by [his]_1603-his own feelings . " [The poor child]_{997-the poor child} ! "_{[4508-his sister]} said [she]_{4508-his sister} , at length--"the poor , [poor child]_{4142-poor child} ! what it will have to struggle through and endure ! Do [you]_1603-his remember [Thomas Wilkins]_100-tom , and the way [he]_100-tom threw the registry of [his]_100-tom birth and baptism back in [your]_1603-his face ? Why , [he]_100-tom would not have the situation ; [he]_100-tom went to [sea]_4716-sea and was drowned , rather than present the record of [his]_100-tom shame . "_{[4508-his sister]} " [I]_{4508-his sister} do remember it all . It has often haunted [me]_{4508-his sister} . [She]_1605-she must strengthen [[her]_1605-she child]_{631-her child} to look to [God]_104-leonard , rather than to [man]_661-man 's opinion . It will be the discipline , the penance , [she]_1605-she has incurred . [She]_1605-she must teach it to be ( humanly speaking ) self - dependent . "_{[4508-his sister]} " But after all , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ( for [she]_1605-she had known and esteemed poor [Thomas Wilkins]_100-tom , and had mourned over [his]_100-tom untimely death , and the recollection thereof softened her)--"after all , it might be concealed . [The very child]_{4719-the very child} need never know [its]_{4719-the very child} illegitimacy . "_[1605-she] " How ? "_{[982-her brother]} asked [[her]_1605-she brother]_{982-her brother} . " Why -- [we]_4720-we know so little about [her]_1605-she yet ; but in that letter , it said [she]_1605-she had [no friends;--now]_{4721-no friends;--now} , could [she]_1605-she not go into quite [a fresh place]_{4722-a fresh place} , and be passed off as [a widow]_{675-a widow} ? "_{[1607-tempter]} Ah , [tempter]_1607-tempter ! [unconscious tempter]_{1608-unconscious tempter} ! Here was a way of evading the trials for [the poor little unborn child , of which [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had never thought]_{1609-the poor little unborn child , of which mr benson had never thought} . It was the decision -- the pivot , on which the fate of years moved ; and [he]_{143-mr benson} turned it the wrong way . But it was not for [his]_{143-mr benson} own sake . For [himself]_{143-mr benson} , [he]_{143-mr benson} was brave enough to tell the truth ; for [the little helpless baby]_{1610-the little helpless baby} , about to enter [a cruel , biting world]_{1611-a cruel , biting world} , [he]_{143-mr benson} was tempted to evade the difficulty . [He]_{143-mr benson} forgot what [he]_{143-mr benson} had just said , of the discipline and penance to [the mother]_{618-the mother} consisting in strengthening [[her]_{618-the mother} child]_{631-her child} to meet , trustfully and bravely , the consequences of [her]_{618-the mother} own weakness . [He]_{143-mr benson} remembered more clearly the wild fierceness , the Cain - like look , of [Thomas Wilkins]_100-tom , as the obnoxious word in the baptismal registry told [him]_{143-mr benson} that [he]_{143-mr benson} must go forth branded into [the world]_{506-the world} , with [his]_{143-mr benson} hand against [every man]_{1615-every man} 's , and [every man]_{1615-every man} 's against [him]_{143-mr benson} . " How could it be managed , [Faith]_147-faith ? "_{[618-the mother]} " Nay , [I]_{982-her brother} must know much more , which [she]_81-ruth alone can tell [us]_4724-us , before [I]_{982-her brother} can see how it is to be managed . It is certainly the best plan . "_{[982-her brother]} " Perhaps it is , "_{[982-her brother]} said [[her]_{618-the mother} brother]_{982-her brother} , thoughtfully , but no longer clearly or decidedly ; and so the conversation dropped . [Ruth]_81-ruth moved the bed - curtain aside , in [her]_81-ruth soft manner , when [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} re - entered [the room]_{357-the room} ; [she]_81-ruth did not speak , but [she]_81-ruth looked at [her]_81-ruth as if [she]_81-ruth wished [her]_81-ruth to come near . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} went and stood by [her]_81-ruth . [Ruth]_81-ruth took [her]_81-ruth hand in [hers]_81-ruth and kissed it ; then , as if fatigued even by this slight movement , [she]_81-ruth fell asleep . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} took up [her]_{618-the mother} work , and thought over [[her]_{618-the mother} brother]_{982-her brother} 's speeches . [She]_{618-the mother} was not convinced , but [she]_{618-the mother} was softened and bewildered . CHAPTER XII Losing Sight of [the Welsh Mountains]_{1620-the welsh mountains} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} continued in an undecided state of mind for the two next days ; but on the third , as [they]_1621-they sat at breakfast , [she]_{618-the mother} began to speak to [[her]_{618-the mother} brother]_{982-her brother} . " [That young creature]_{4725-that young creature} 's name is [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth . "_{[618-the mother]} " Indeed ! how did [you]_{143-mr benson} find it out ? "_{[618-the mother]} " From [herself]_{4725-that young creature} , of course . [She]_{4725-that young creature} is much stronger . [I]_{618-the mother} slept with [her]_{4725-that young creature} last night , and [I]_{618-the mother} was aware [she]_{4725-that young creature} was awake long before [I]_{618-the mother} liked to speak , but at last [I]_{618-the mother} began . [I]_{618-the mother} do n't know what [I]_{618-the mother} said , or how it went on , but [I]_{618-the mother} think it was a little relief to [her]_{4725-that young creature} to tell [me]_{618-the mother} something about [herself]_{4725-that young creature} . [She]_{4725-that young creature} sobbed and cried [herself]_{4725-that young creature} to sleep ; [I]_{618-the mother} think [she]_{4725-that young creature} is asleep now . "_{[618-the mother]} " Tell [me]_{618-the mother} what [she]_{4725-that young creature} said about [herself]_{4725-that young creature} . "_{[618-the mother]} " Oh , it was really very little ; it was evidently a most painful subject . [She]_{4725-that young creature} is [an orphan]_{4231-an orphan} , without [brother]_4681-brother or [sister]_4728-sister , and with [a guardian]_{4729-a guardian} , whom , [I]_{618-the mother} think [she]_{4725-that young creature} said , [she]_{4725-that young creature} never saw but once . [He]_{4729-a guardian} apprenticed [her]_{4725-that young creature} ( after [[her]_{4725-that young creature} father]_{411-her father} 's death ) to [a dressmaker]_{382-a dressmaker} . [This Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} got acquainted with [her]_{4725-that young creature} , and [they]_4732-they used to meet on Sunday afternoons . One day [they]_4732-they were late , lingering on [the road]_{4274-the road} , when [the dressmaker]_{288-the dressmaker} came up by accident . [She]_{4725-that young creature} seems to have been very angry , and not unnaturally so . [The girl]_{1016-the girl} took fright at [her]_{4725-that young creature} threats , and [the lover]_{4736-the lover} persuaded [her]_{4725-that young creature} to go off with [him]_{4736-the lover} to [London]_3-london , there and then . Last May , [I]_{618-the mother} think it was . That 's all . "_{[618-the mother]} " Did [she]_{4725-that young creature} express any sorrow for [her]_{4725-that young creature} error ? "_{[618-the mother]} " No , not in words , but [her]_{4725-that young creature} voice was broken with sobs , though [she]_{4725-that young creature} tried to make it steady . After a while [she]_{4725-that young creature} began to talk about [[her]_{4725-that young creature} baby]_{4737-her baby} , but shyly , and with much hesitation . [She]_{4725-that young creature} asked [me]_{618-the mother} how much [I]_{618-the mother} thought [she]_{4725-that young creature} could earn as [a dressmaker]_{382-a dressmaker} , by working very , very hard ; and that brought [us]_4739-us round to [[her]_{4725-that young creature} child]_{631-her child} . [I]_{618-the mother} thought of what [you]_{618-the mother} had said , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , and [I]_{618-the mother} tried to speak to [her]_{4725-that young creature} as [you]_{618-the mother} wished [me]_{618-the mother} . [I]_{618-the mother} am not sure if it was right ; [I]_{618-the mother} am doubtful in [my]_{618-the mother} own mind still . "_{[618-the mother]} " Do n't be doubtful , [Faith]_147-faith ! [Dear Faith]_{154-dear faith} , [I]_{618-the mother} thank [you]_{618-the mother} for [your]_{618-the mother} kindness . "_{[618-the mother]} " There is really nothing to thank [me]_{618-the mother} for . It is almost impossible to help being kind to [her]_{4725-that young creature} ; there is something so meek and gentle about [her]_{4725-that young creature} , so patient , and so grateful ! "_{[618-the mother]} " What does [she]_{4725-that young creature} think of doing ? "_{[618-the mother]} " [Poor child]_{4142-poor child} ! [she]_{4725-that young creature} thinks of taking [lodgings]_{4742-lodgings} -- very cheap ones , [she]_{4725-that young creature} says ; there [she]_{4725-that young creature} means to work night and day to earn enough for [[her]_{4725-that young creature} child]_{631-her child} . For , [she]_{4725-that young creature} said to [me]_{618-the mother} , with such pretty earnestness , ' [It]_4744-it must never know want , whatever [I]_{618-the mother} do . [I]_{618-the mother} have deserved suffering , but it will be such [a little innocent darling]_{4745-a little innocent darling} ! ' [Her]_{4725-that young creature} utmost earnings would not be more than seven or eight shillings a week , [I]_{618-the mother} 'm afraid ; and then [she]_{4725-that young creature} is so young and so pretty ! "_{[618-the mother]} " There is that fifty pounds [Mrs Morgan]_{122-mrs morgan} brought [me]_{618-the mother} , and those two letters . Does [she]_{4725-that young creature} know about them yet ? "_{[618-the mother]} " No ; [I]_{618-the mother} did not like to tell [her]_{4725-that young creature} till [she]_{4725-that young creature} is a little stronger . Oh , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan ! [I]_{618-the mother} wish there was not this prospect of [a child]_{556-a child} . [I]_{618-the mother} can not help it . [I]_{618-the mother} do -- [I]_{618-the mother} could see a way in which [we]_4747-we might help [her]_{4725-that young creature} , if it were not for that . "_{[618-the mother]} " How do [you]_{618-the mother} mean ? "_{[618-the mother]} " Oh , it 's no use thinking of it , as it is ! Or else [we]_4747-we might have taken [her]_{4725-that young creature} [home]_4124-home with [us]_4747-we , and kept [her]_{4725-that young creature} till [she]_{4725-that young creature} had got a little dress - making in [the congregation]_{4749-the congregation} , but for [this meddlesome child]_{4750-this meddlesome child} ; that spoils everything . [You]_146-thurstan must let [me]_{618-the mother} grumble to [you]_146-thurstan , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan . [I]_{618-the mother} was very good to [her]_{4725-that young creature} , and spoke as tenderly and respectfully of the little thing as if it were [the Queen]_{4751-the queen} 's , and born in lawful matrimony . "_{[618-the mother]} " That 's right , [[my]_{618-the mother} dear]_{4145-my dear} Faith ! Grumble away to [me]_{618-the mother} , if [you]_146-thurstan like . [I]_{618-the mother} 'll forgive [you]_146-thurstan , for the kind thought of taking [her]_{4725-that young creature} [home]_4124-home with [us]_4747-we . But do [you]_146-thurstan think [her]_{4725-that young creature} situation is an insuperable objection ? "_{[618-the mother]} " Why , [Thurstan!--it]_{155-thurstan!--it} 's so insuperable , it puts it quite out of the question . "_{[618-the mother]} " How?--that 's only repeating [your]_146-thurstan objection . Why is it out of the question ? "_{[618-the mother]} " If there had been [no child]_{4754-no child} coming , [we]_4747-we might have called [her]_{4725-that young creature} by [her]_{4725-that young creature} right name -- [Miss Hilton]_{89-miss hilton} ; that 's one thing . Then , another is , [the baby]_{1144-the baby} in [[our]_4747-we house]_{4756-our house} . Why , [Sally]_148-sally would go distraught ! "_{[618-the mother]} " Never mind [Sally]_148-sally . If [she]_{4725-that young creature} were [an orphan relation of [our]_4747-we own]_{4757-an orphan relation of our own} , left widowed , "_[1623-i] said [he]_1623-i , pausing , as if in doubt . " [You]_146-thurstan [yourself]_146-thurstan suggested [she]_{4725-that young creature} should be considered as [a widow]_{675-a widow} , for [the child]_{565-the child} 's sake . [I]_1623-i 'm only taking up [your]_146-thurstan ideas , [dear Faith]_{4760-dear faith} . [I]_1623-i respect [you]_146-thurstan for thinking of taking [her]_{4725-that young creature} [home]_4124-home ; it is just what [we]_4747-we ought to do . Thank [you]_146-thurstan for reminding [me]_1623-i of [my]_1623-i duty . "_[1623-i] " Nay , it was only a passing thought . Think of [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . Oh ! [I]_{618-the mother} tremble at the thought of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} grim displeasure . "_{[618-the mother]} " [We]_4747-we must think of a higher than [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [I]_1623-i own [I]_1623-i should be [a very coward]_{4762-a very coward} , if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} knew . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} is so severe , so inflexible . But after all [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} sees so little of [us]_4747-we ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} never comes to tea , [you]_146-thurstan know , but is always engaged when [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} comes . [I]_1623-i do n't think [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} knows of what [[our]_4747-we household]_{4763-our household} consists . "_[1623-i] " Not know [Sally]_148-sally ? Oh yes , but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} does . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} asked [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} one day , if [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} knew what wages [we]_4747-we gave [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , and said [we]_4747-we might get [a far more efficient and younger servant]_{4764-a far more efficient and younger servant} for the money . And , speaking about money , think what [our]_4747-we expenses would be if [we]_4747-we took [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} [home]_4124-home for the next six months . "_{[618-the mother]} That consideration was a puzzling one ; and [both]_1624-both sat silent and perplexed for a time . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was as sorrowful as [[her]_1625-i brother]_{982-her brother} , for [she]_1625-i was becoming as anxious as [he]_{982-her brother} was to find it possible that [her]_1625-i plan could be carried out . " There 's the fifty pounds , "_{[982-her brother]} said [he]_{982-her brother} , with a sigh of reluctance at the idea . " Yes , there 's the fifty pounds , "_{[4508-his sister]} echoed [[his]_{982-her brother} sister]_{4508-his sister} , with the same sadness in [her]_{4508-his sister} tone . " [I]_{4508-his sister} suppose it is [hers]_{4508-his sister} . "_{[4508-his sister]} " [I]_{4508-his sister} suppose it is ; and being so , [we]_4747-we must not think who gave it to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} . It will defray [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} expenses . [I]_{4508-his sister} am very sorry , but [I]_{4508-his sister} think [we]_4747-we must take it . "_{[4508-his sister]} " It would never do to apply to [him]_{982-her brother} under the present circumstances , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , in a hesitating manner . " No , that [we]_4747-we wo n't , "_{[982-her brother]} said [[her]_1625-i brother]_{982-her brother} , decisively . " If [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} consents to let [us]_4747-we take care of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , [we]_4747-we will never let [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} stoop to request anything from [him]_{982-her brother} , even for [[his]_{982-her brother} child]_{4766-his child} . [She]_{151-mrs bradshaw} can live on bread and water . [We]_4747-we can all live on bread and water rather than that . "_{[982-her brother]} " Then [I]_1625-i will speak to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} and propose the plan . Oh , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan ! from [a child]_{556-a child} [you]_146-thurstan could persuade [me]_1625-i to anything ! [I]_1625-i hope [I]_1625-i am doing right . However much [I]_1625-i oppose [you]_146-thurstan at first , [I]_1625-i am sure to yield soon ; almost in proportion to [my]_1625-i violence at first . [I]_1625-i think [I]_1625-i am very weak . "_[1625-i] " No , not in this instance . [We]_4747-we are both right : [I]_{982-her brother} , in the way in which [the child]_{565-the child} ought to be viewed ; [you]_146-thurstan , [dear good Faith]_{4769-dear good faith} , for thinking of taking [her]_{565-the child} [home]_4124-home with [us]_4747-we . God bless [you]_146-thurstan , [dear]_4155-dear , for it ! "_{[982-her brother]} When [Ruth]_81-ruth began to sit up ( and the strange , new , delicious prospect of becoming [a mother]_{1536-a mother} seemed to give [her]_81-ruth some mysterious source of strength , so that [her]_81-ruth recovery was rapid and swift from that time ) , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} brought [her]_81-ruth the letters and the bank - note . " Do [you]_81-ruth recollect receiving this letter , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] asked [she]_81-ruth , with grave gentleness . [Ruth]_81-ruth changed colour , and took it and read it again without making any reply to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . Then [she]_81-ruth sighed , and thought a while ; and then took up and read the second note -- the note which [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} had sent to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} in answer to [his]_{143-mr benson} . After that [she]_81-ruth took up the bank - note and turned it round and round , but not as if [she]_81-ruth saw it . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} noticed that [her]_81-ruth fingers trembled sadly , and that [her]_81-ruth lips were quivering for some time before [she]_81-ruth spoke . " If [you]_81-ruth please , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [I]_81-ruth should like to return this money . "_[81-ruth] " Why , [[my]_81-ruth dear]_{4145-my dear} ? "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth have a strong feeling against taking it . While [he]_{143-mr benson} , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , deeply blushing , and letting [her]_81-ruth large white lids drop down and veil [her]_81-ruth eyes , " loved [me]_81-ruth , [he]_{143-mr benson} gave [me]_81-ruth many things -- [my]_81-ruth watch -- oh , many things ; and [I]_81-ruth took them from [him]_{143-mr benson} gladly and thankfully because [he]_{143-mr benson} loved [me]_81-ruth -- for [I]_81-ruth would have given [him]_{143-mr benson} anything -- and [I]_81-ruth thought of them as signs of love . But this money pains [my]_81-ruth heart . [He]_{143-mr benson} has left off loving [me]_81-ruth , and has gone away . This money seems -- oh , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} -- it seems as if [he]_{143-mr benson} could comfort [me]_81-ruth , for being forsaken , by money . "_[81-ruth] And at that word the tears , so long kept back and repressed , forced their way like rain . [She]_81-ruth checked [herself]_81-ruth , however , in the violence of [her]_81-ruth emotion , for [she]_81-ruth thought of [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} . " So , will [you]_{143-mr benson} take the trouble of sending it back to [Mrs Bellingham]_{96-mrs bellingham} ? "_[81-ruth] " That [I]_{143-mr benson} will , [[my]_{143-mr benson} dear]_{4145-my dear} . [I]_{143-mr benson} am glad of it , that [I]_{143-mr benson} am ! [They]_4774-they do n't deserve to have the power of giving : [they]_4774-they do n't deserve that [you]_{143-mr benson} should take it . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} went and enclosed it up , there and then ; simply writing these words in the envelope , " From [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth . "_{[143-mr benson]} " And now [we]_4775-we wash [our]_4775-we hands of [these Bellinghams]_{4776-these bellinghams} , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , triumphantly . But [Ruth]_81-ruth looked tearful and sad ; not about returning the note , but from the conviction that the reason [she]_81-ruth had given for the ground of [her]_81-ruth determination was true -- [he]_1631-he no longer loved [her]_81-ruth . To cheer [her]_81-ruth , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} began to speak of the future . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was [one of those people who , the more [she]_81-ruth spoke of a plan in its details , and the more [she]_81-ruth realised it in [her]_81-ruth own mind]_{1632-one of those people who , the more she spoke of a plan in its details , and the more she realised it in her own mind} , the more firmly [she]_81-ruth became [a partisan of the project]_{1633-a partisan of the project} . Thus [she]_81-ruth grew warm and happy in the idea of taking [Ruth]_81-ruth [home]_4124-home ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth remained depressed and languid under the conviction that [he]_1631-he no longer loved [her]_81-ruth . [No home]_{689-no home} , no future , but the thought of [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} , could [wean]_1637-wean [her]_81-ruth from this sorrow . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was a little piqued ; and this pique showed itself afterwards in talking to [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} of the morning 's proceedings in [the sick - chamber]_{1639-the sick - chamber} . " [I]_{982-her brother} admired [her]_81-ruth at the time for sending away [her]_81-ruth fifty pounds so proudly ; but [I]_{982-her brother} think [she]_81-ruth has a cold heart : [she]_81-ruth hardly thanked [me]_{982-her brother} at all for [my]_{982-her brother} proposal of taking [her]_81-ruth [home]_4124-home with [us]_4778-us . "_{[982-her brother]} " [Her]_81-ruth thoughts are full of other things just now ; and [people]_322-people have such different ways of showing feeling : some by silence , some by words . At any rate , it is unwise to expect gratitude . "_[1637-wean] " What do [you]_{143-mr benson} expect -- not indifference or ingratitude ? "_{[982-her brother]} " It is better not to expect or calculate consequences . The longer [I]_{982-her brother} live , the more fully [I]_{982-her brother} see that . Let [us]_4778-us try simply to do right actions , without thinking of the feelings [they]_322-people are to call out in [others]_368-others . [We]_4778-us know that no holy or self - denying effort can fall to the ground vain and useless ; but the sweep of eternity is large , and [God]_104-leonard alone knows when the effect is to be produced . [We]_4778-us are trying to do right now , and to feel right ; do n't let [us]_4778-us perplex [ourselves]_4778-us with endeavouring to map out how [she]_81-ruth should feel , or how [she]_81-ruth should show [her]_81-ruth feelings . "_{[982-her brother]} " That 's all very fine , and [I]_{143-mr benson} dare say very true , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , a little chagrined . " But ' a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush ; ' and [I]_{143-mr benson} would rather have had one good , hearty ' Thank [you]_{143-mr benson} , ' now , for all [I]_{143-mr benson} have been planning to do for [her]_81-ruth , than the grand effects [you]_{143-mr benson} promise [me]_{143-mr benson} in the ' sweep of eternity . ' Do n't be grave and sorrowful , [Thurstan]_146-thurstan , or [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll go out of [the room]_{357-the room} . [I]_{143-mr benson} can stand [Sally]_148-sally 's scoldings , but [I]_{143-mr benson} ca n't bear [your]_{143-mr benson} look of quiet depression whenever [I]_{143-mr benson} am a little hasty or impatient . [I]_{143-mr benson} had rather [you]_{143-mr benson} would give [me]_{143-mr benson} a good box on the ear . "_{[143-mr benson]} " And [I]_{982-her brother} would often rather [you]_{143-mr benson} would speak , if ever so hastily , instead of whistling . So , if [I]_{982-her brother} box [your]_{143-mr benson} ears when [I]_{982-her brother} am vexed with [you]_{143-mr benson} , will [you]_{143-mr benson} promise to scold [me]_{982-her brother} when [you]_{143-mr benson} are put out of the way , instead of whistling ? "_{[982-her brother]} " Very well ! that 's a bargain . [You]_{143-mr benson} box , and [I]_{143-mr benson} scold . But , seriously , [I]_{143-mr benson} began to calculate [our]_4782-we money when [she]_148-sally so cavalierly sent off the fifty - pound note ( [I]_{143-mr benson} ca n't help admiring [her]_148-sally for it ) , and [I]_{143-mr benson} am very much afraid [we]_4782-we shall not have enough to pay [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} 's bill , and take [her]_148-sally [home]_4124-home with [us]_4782-we . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [She]_148-sally must go inside [the coach]_{1509-the coach} whatever [we]_4782-we do , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , decidedly . " Who 's [there]_332-there ? Come in ! Oh ! [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} ! Sit down . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Indeed , [sir]_4181-sir , and [I]_{143-mr benson} can not stay ; but [the young lady]_{476-the young lady} has just made [me]_{143-mr benson} find up [her]_{476-the young lady} watch for [her]_{476-the young lady} , and asked [me]_{143-mr benson} to get it sold to pay [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} , and the little things [she]_{476-the young lady} has had since [she]_{476-the young lady} came ; and please , [sir]_4181-sir , indeed , [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't know where to sell it nearer than [Carnarvon]_30-carnarvon . "_{[143-mr benson]} " That is good of [her]_{476-the young lady} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [her]_1640-her sense of justice satisfied ; and , remembering the way in which [Ruth]_81-ruth had spoken of the watch , [she]_1640-her felt what a sacrifice it must have been to resolve to part with it . " And [her]_{476-the young lady} goodness just helps [us]_1642-us out of [our]_1642-us dilemma , "_{[982-her brother]} said [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} , who was unaware of the feelings with which [Ruth]_81-ruth regarded [her]_81-ruth watch , or , perhaps , [he]_{982-her brother} might have parted with [his]_{982-her brother} Facciolati . [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} patiently awaited [their]_1642-us leisure for answering [her]_{142-mrs hughes} practical question . Where could the watch be sold ? Suddenly [her]_{142-mrs hughes} face brightened . " [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} , [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} , is going to be married , perhaps [he]_{131-mr jones} would like nothing better than to give this pretty watch to [[his]_{131-mr jones} bride]_{4792-his bride} ; indeed , and [I]_{142-mrs hughes} think it 's very likely ; and [he]_{131-mr jones} 'll pay money for it as well as letting alone [his]_{131-mr jones} bill . [I]_{142-mrs hughes} 'll ask [him]_{131-mr jones} , [sir]_4181-sir , at any rate . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} [Mr Jones]_{131-mr jones} was only too glad to obtain possession of so elegant a present at so cheap a rate . [He]_{131-mr jones} even , as [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} had foretold , " paid money for it ; "_{[131-mr jones]} more than was required to defray the expenses of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's accommodation ; as the most of the articles of food [she]_81-ruth had were paid for at the time by [Mr or Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , but [they]_1642-us strictly forbade [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} to tell [Ruth]_81-ruth of this . " Would [you]_81-ruth object to [my]_{143-mr benson} buying [you]_81-ruth a black gown ? "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} to [her]_81-ruth the day after the sale of the watch . [She]_{142-mrs hughes} hesitated a little , and then went on : " [[My]_{142-mrs hughes} brother]_{4794-my brother} and [I]_{142-mrs hughes} think it would be better to call [you]_81-ruth -- as if in fact [you]_81-ruth were -- [a widow]_{675-a widow} . It will save much awkwardness , and it will spare [[your]_{143-mr benson} child]_{4796-your child} much-- "_{[142-mrs hughes]} Mortification [she]_{142-mrs hughes} was going to have added , but that word did not exactly do . But , at the mention of [[her]_{142-mrs hughes} child]_{631-her child} , [Ruth]_81-ruth started and turned ruby - red ; as [she]_81-ruth always did when allusion was made to it . " Oh , yes ! certainly . Thank [you]_81-ruth much for thinking of it . Indeed , "_{[142-mrs hughes]} said [she]_{142-mrs hughes} , very low , as if to [herself]_{142-mrs hughes} , " [I]_{142-mrs hughes} do n't know how to thank [you]_81-ruth for all [you]_81-ruth are doing ; but [I]_{142-mrs hughes} do love [you]_81-ruth , and will pray for [you]_81-ruth , if [I]_{142-mrs hughes} may . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} " If [you]_81-ruth may , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_{[143-mr benson]} repeated [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , in a tone of surprise . " Yes , if [I]_{142-mrs hughes} may . If [you]_81-ruth will let [me]_{142-mrs hughes} pray for [you]_81-ruth . "_{[142-mrs hughes]} " Certainly , [[my]_{143-mr benson} dear]_{4145-my dear} . [[My]_{143-mr benson} dear]_{4145-my dear} [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth do n't know how often [I]_{143-mr benson} sin ; [I]_{143-mr benson} do so wrong , with [my]_{143-mr benson} few temptations . [We]_4799-us are [both of [us]_4799-us great sinners in the eyes of [the Most Holy]_{4801-the most holy}]_{4800-both of us great sinners in the eyes of the most holy} ; let [us]_4799-us pray for [each other]_{579-each other} . Do n't speak so again , [[my]_{143-mr benson} dear]_{4145-my dear} ; at least , not to [me]_{143-mr benson} ! "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was actually crying . [She]_1644-she had always looked upon [herself]_1644-she as so inferior to [[her]_1644-she brother]_{982-her brother} in real goodness ; had seen such heights above [her]_1644-she , that [she]_1644-she was distressed by [Ruth]_81-ruth 's humility . After a short time [she]_1644-she resumed the subject . " Then [I]_1644-she may get [you]_81-ruth a black gown?--and [we]_4804-we may call [you]_81-ruth [Mrs Hilton]_{108-mrs hilton} ? "_[1644-she] " No ; not [Mrs Hilton]_{108-mrs hilton} ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , hastily . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who had hitherto kept [her]_1644-she eyes averted from [Ruth]_81-ruth 's face from a motive of kindly delicacy , now looked at [her]_81-ruth with surprise . " Why not ? "_[1644-she] asked [she]_1644-she . " It was [[my]_81-ruth mother]_{4247-my mother} 's name , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , in a low voice . " [I]_81-ruth had better not be called by it . "_[81-ruth] " Then , let [us]_4804-we call [you]_81-ruth by [[my]_{143-mr benson} mother]_{4247-my mother} 's name , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , tenderly . " [She]_{4247-my mother} would have-- But [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll talk to [you]_81-ruth about [[my]_{143-mr benson} mother]_{4247-my mother} some other time . Let [me]_{143-mr benson} call [you]_81-ruth [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . It will do very well , too . [People]_322-people will think [you]_81-ruth are [a distant relation]_{4809-a distant relation} . "_{[143-mr benson]} When [she]_81-ruth told [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} this choice of name , [he]_{143-mr benson} was rather sorry ; it was like [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's impulsive kindness -- impulsive in everything -- and [he]_{143-mr benson} could imagine how [Ruth]_81-ruth 's humility had touched [her]_81-ruth . [He]_{143-mr benson} was sorry , but [he]_{143-mr benson} said nothing . And now the letter was written [home]_4124-home , announcing the probable arrival of [the brother and sister]_{1648-the brother and sister} on a certain day , " with [a distant relation]_{4809-a distant relation} , early left [a widow]_{675-a widow} , "_{[143-mr benson]} as [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} expressed it . [She]_81-ruth desired [the spare room]_{1649-the spare room} might be prepared , and made every provision [she]_81-ruth could think of for [Ruth]_81-ruth 's comfort ; for [Ruth]_81-ruth still remained feeble and weak . When the black gown , at which [she]_81-ruth had stitched away incessantly , was finished -- when nothing remained but to rest for the next day 's journey -- [Ruth]_81-ruth could not sit still . [She]_81-ruth wandered from window to window , learning off each rock and tree by heart . Each had its tale , which it was agony to remember ; but which it would have been worse agony to forget . The sound of running waters [she]_81-ruth heard that quiet evening , was in [her]_81-ruth ears as [she]_81-ruth lay on [her]_81-ruth death - bed ; so well had [she]_81-ruth learnt [their]_1650-their tune . And now all was over . [She]_81-ruth had driven in to [Llan - dhu]_{31-llan - dhu} , sitting by [[her]_81-ruth lover]_{1247-her lover} 's side , living in the bright present , and strangely forgetful of the past or the future ; [she]_81-ruth had dreamed out [her]_81-ruth dream , and [she]_81-ruth had awakened from the vision of love . [She]_81-ruth walked slowly and sadly down [the long hill]_{1652-the long hill} , [her]_81-ruth tears fast falling , but as quickly wiped away ; while [she]_81-ruth strove to make steady the low quivering voice which was often called upon to answer some remark of [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's . [They]_1653-they had to wait for [the coach]_{1509-the coach} . [Ruth]_81-ruth buried [her]_81-ruth face in some flowers which [Mrs Hughes]_{142-mrs hughes} had given [her]_81-ruth on parting ; and was startled when the mail drew up with a sudden pull , which almost threw the horses on [their]_1650-their haunches . [She]_81-ruth was placed inside , and [the coach]_{1509-the coach} had set off again , before [she]_81-ruth was fully aware that [Mr]_1656-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} were travelling on the outside ; but it was a relief to feel [she]_81-ruth might now cry without exciting [their]_1653-they notice . The shadow of a heavy thunder - cloud was on [the valley]_{1657-the valley} , but [the little upland village church]_{1658-the little upland village church} ( that showed the spot in which so much of [her]_81-ruth life had passed ) stood out clear in the sunshine . [She]_81-ruth grudged the tears that blinded [her]_81-ruth as [she]_81-ruth gazed . There was [one passenger]_{1659-one passenger} , who tried after a while to comfort [her]_81-ruth . " Do n't cry , [miss]_4384-miss , "_{[1660-the kind - hearted woman]} said [the kind - hearted woman]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} . " [You]_4384-miss 're parting from [friends]_678-friends , maybe ? Well , that 's bad enough , but when [you]_4384-miss come to [my]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} age , [you]_4384-miss 'll think none of it . Why , [I]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} 've [three sons]_{4814-three sons} , and [they]_{4814-three sons} 're [soldiers]_{4815-soldiers} and [sailors]_4816-sailors , all of [them]_{4814-three sons} -- here , there , and everywhere . One is in [America]_32-america , [beyond seas]_{4817-beyond seas} ; another is in [China]_33-china , making tea ; and another is at [Gibraltar]_34-gibraltar , [three miles from [Spain]_35-spain]_{4818-three miles from spain} ; and yet , [you]_4384-miss see , [I]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} can laugh and eat and enjoy [myself]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} . [I]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} sometimes think [I]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} 'll try and fret a bit , just to make [myself]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} [a better figure]_{4819-a better figure} ; but , [Lord]_4820-lord ! it 's no use , it 's against [my]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} nature ; so [I]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} laugh and grow fat again . [I]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} 'd be quite thankful for a fit of anxiety as would make [me]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} feel easy in [my]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} clothes , which [them manty - makers]_{4821-them manty - makers} will make so tight [I]_{1660-the kind - hearted woman} 'm fairly throttled . "_{[1660-the kind - hearted woman]} [Ruth durst]_81-ruth cry no more ; it was no relief , now [she]_81-ruth was watched and noticed , and plied with a sandwich or a gingerbread each time [she]_81-ruth looked sad . [She]_81-ruth lay back with [her]_81-ruth eyes shut , as if asleep , and went on , and on , the sun never seeming to move from [his]_1661-his high place in the sky , nor the bright hot day to show the least sign of waning . Every now and then , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} scrambled down , and made kind inquiries of [the pale , weary Ruth]_{1662-the pale , weary ruth} ; and once [they]_1663-we changed [coaches]_1664-coaches , and [the fat old lady]_{1665-the fat old lady} left [her]_81-ruth with a hearty shake of the hand . " It is not much further now , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , apologetically , to [Ruth]_81-ruth . " See ! [we]_1663-we are losing sight of [the Welsh mountains]_{1620-the welsh mountains} . [We]_1663-we have about [eighteen miles of plain]_{4823-eighteen miles of plain} , and then [we]_1663-we come to [the moors]_{4824-the moors} and the rising ground , amidst which [Eccleston]_36-eccleston lies . [I]_{143-mr benson} wish [we]_1663-we were there , for [[my]_{143-mr benson} brother]_{4794-my brother} is sadly tired . "_{[143-mr benson]} The first wonder in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's mind was , why then , if [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} were so tired , did [they]_1663-we not stop where [they]_1663-we were for the night ; for [she]_81-ruth knew little of the expenses of a night at [an inn]_{949-an inn} . The next thought was , to beg that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} would take [her]_81-ruth place inside [the coach]_{1509-the coach} , and allow [her]_81-ruth to mount up by [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [She]_81-ruth proposed this , and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was evidently pleased . " Well , if [you]_81-ruth 're not tired , it would make a rest and a change for [him]_{4794-my brother} , to be sure ; and if [you]_81-ruth were by [me]_{143-mr benson} [I]_{143-mr benson} could show [you]_81-ruth the first sight of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , if [we]_4826-we reach [there]_332-there before it is quite dark . "_{[143-mr benson]} So [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} got down , and changed places with [Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth hardly yet understood the numerous small economies which [he]_{143-mr benson} and [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} had to practise -- the little daily self - denials,--all endured so cheerfully , and simply , that [they]_1669-their had almost ceased to require an effort , and it had become natural to [them]_1669-their to think of [others]_368-others before [themselves]_1669-their . [Ruth]_81-ruth had not understood that it was for [economy]_1671-economy that [[their]_1669-their places]_{1672-their places} had been taken on the outside of [the coach]_{1509-the coach} , while [hers]_81-ruth , as [an invalid requiring rest]_{1674-an invalid requiring rest} , was to be the inside ; and that the biscuits which supplied the place of a dinner were , in fact , chosen because the difference in price between [the two]_{1675-the two} would go a little way towards fulfilling [their]_1669-their plan for receiving [her]_81-ruth as [an inmate]_{716-an inmate} . [Her]_81-ruth thought about money had been hitherto [a child]_{556-a child} 's thought ; the subject had never touched [her]_81-ruth ; but afterwards , when [she]_81-ruth had lived a little with [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} , [her]_81-ruth eyes were opened , and [she]_81-ruth remembered [their]_1669-their simple kindness on the journey , and treasured the remembrance of it in [her]_81-ruth heart . A low grey cloud was the first sign of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston ; it was the smoke of [the town]_{396-the town} hanging over [the plain]_{965-the plain} . Beyond [the place where [she]_81-ruth was expected to believe [it]_1681-it existed]_{1680-the place where she was expected to believe it existed} , arose [round , waving uplands]_{1682-round , waving uplands} ; nothing to [the fine outlines of [the Welsh mountains]_{1620-the welsh mountains}]_{1683-the fine outlines of the welsh mountains} , but still going [up nearer to heaven]_{1685-up nearer to heaven} than the rest of [the flat world into which [she]_81-ruth had now entered]_{1686-the flat world into which she had now entered} . Rumbling stones , lamp - posts , a sudden stop , and [they]_1669-their were in [the town of Eccleston]_{1687-the town of eccleston} ; and a strange , uncouth voice , on the dark side of [the coach]_{1509-the coach} , was heard to say , " Be [ye]_1669-their there , [measter]_1669-their ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes , yes ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , quickly . " Did [Sally]_148-sally send [you]_1669-their , [Ben]_158-ben ? Get the ostler 's lantern , and look out the luggage . "_{[143-mr benson]} CHAPTER XIII [The Dissenting Minister]_{1689-the dissenting minister} 's Household [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had resumed every morsel of the briskness which [she]_81-ruth had rather lost in the middle of the day ; [her]_81-ruth foot was on [her]_81-ruth native stones , and a very rough set they were , and [she]_81-ruth was near [[her]_81-ruth home]_{840-her home} and among [known people]_{1691-known people} . Even [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} spoke very cheerfully to [Ben]_158-ben , and made many inquiries of [him]_158-ben respecting people whose names were strange to [Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth was cold , and utterly weary . [She]_81-ruth took [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's offered arm , and could hardly drag [herself]_81-ruth as far as [the little quiet street in which [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's house]_{1693-mr benson 's house} was situated]_{1692-the little quiet street in which mr benson 's house was situated} . [The street]_{347-the street} was so quiet that [their]_1695-ye footsteps sounded like a loud disturbance , and announced [their]_1695-ye approach as effectually as the " trumpet 's lordly blare "_[1695-ye] did the coming of [Abdallah]_159-abdallah . A door flew open , and [a lighted passage]_{1696-a lighted passage} stood before [them]_1695-ye . As soon as [they]_1695-ye had entered , [a stout , elderly servant]_{1697-a stout , elderly servant} emerged from behind the door , [her]_{1697-a stout , elderly servant} face radiant with welcome . " Eh , bless [ye]_1695-ye ! are [ye]_1695-ye back again ? [I]_81-ruth thought [I]_81-ruth should ha ' been lost without [ye]_1695-ye . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth gave [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} a hearty shake of the hand , and kissed [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} warmly ; then , turning to [Ruth]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth said , in a loud whisper , " Who 's yon ? "_[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was silent , and walked a step onwards . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} said boldly out , " [The lady [I]_{143-mr benson} named in [my]_{143-mr benson} note]_{4828-the lady i named in my note} , [Sally]_148-sally -- [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , [a distant relation]_{4809-a distant relation} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Aye , but [you]_{143-mr benson} said hoo was [a widow]_{675-a widow} . Is this chit [a widow]_{675-a widow} ? "_[81-ruth] " Yes , this is [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , "_{[143-mr benson]} answered [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " If [I]_{143-mr benson} 'd been [[her]_{4828-the lady i named in my note} mother]_{710-her mother} , [I]_{143-mr benson} 'd ha ' given [her]_{4828-the lady i named in my note} a lollypop instead of [a husband]_{4833-a husband} . [Hoo]_160-hoo looks fitter for it . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Hush ! [Sally]_148-sally , [Sally]_148-sally ! Look , there 's [[your]_148-sally master]_{4834-your master} trying to move that heavy box . "_[1698-she] [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} calculated well when [she]_1698-she called [Sally]_148-sally 's attention to [[her]_1698-she master]_{1699-her master} ; for it was well believed by [every one]_{1129-every one} , and by [Sally]_148-sally [herself]_148-sally , that [his]_{1699-her master} deformity was owing to a fall [he]_{1699-her master} had had when [he]_{1699-her master} was scarcely more than [a baby]_{4677-a baby} , and entrusted to [her]_148-sally care -- [a little nurse - girl]_{1702-a little nurse - girl} , as [she]_{1702-a little nurse - girl} then was , not many years older than [himself]_{1699-her master} . For years [the poor girl]_{1183-the poor girl} had cried [herself]_{1183-the poor girl} to sleep on [her]_{1183-the poor girl} pallet - bed , moaning over the blight [her]_{1183-the poor girl} carelessness had brought upon [[her]_{1183-the poor girl} darling]_{1704-her darling} ; nor was this self - reproach diminished by the forgiveness of [the gentle mother]_{1705-the gentle mother} , from whom [Thurstan Benson]_146-thurstan derived so much of [his]_146-thurstan character . The way in which comfort stole into [Sally]_148-sally 's heart was in the gradually - formed resolution that [she]_148-sally would never leave [him]_{1699-her master} nor forsake [him]_{1699-her master} , but serve [him]_{1699-her master} faithfully all [her]_148-sally life long ; and [she]_148-sally had kept to [her]_148-sally word . [She]_148-sally loved [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , but [she]_148-sally almost worshipped [the brother]_{1706-the brother} . The reverence for [him]_{1699-her master} was in [her]_148-sally heart , however , and did not always show itself in [her]_148-sally manners . But if [she]_148-sally scolded [him]_{1699-her master} [herself]_148-sally , [she]_148-sally allowed [no one else]_{1707-no one else} that privilege . If [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} differed from [[her]_148-sally brother]_{982-her brother} , and ventured to think [his]_{1699-her master} sayings or doings might have been improved , [Sally]_148-sally came down upon [her]_148-sally like a thunder - clap . " [My]_148-sally goodness gracious , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , when will [you]_{1699-her master} learn to leave off meddling with [other folks]_{4835-other folks} ' business ! Here , [Ben]_158-ben ! help [me]_148-sally up with these trunks . "_[148-sally] [The little narrow passage]_{1709-the little narrow passage} was cleared , and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} took [Ruth]_81-ruth into [the sitting - room]_{1155-the sitting - room} . There were only [two sitting - rooms on [the ground - floor]_{1712-the ground - floor}]_{1711-two sitting - rooms on the ground - floor} , one behind the other . Out of [the back room]_{1713-the back room} [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} opened , and for this reason [the back parlour]_{4417-the back parlour} was used as [the family sitting - room]_{1716-the family sitting - room} ; or else , being , with [its]_{4417-the back parlour} garden aspect , so much the pleasanter of the two , both [Sally]_148-sally and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} would have appropriated [it]_{4417-the back parlour} for [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's study]_{1717-mr benson 's study} . As it was , [the front room]_{1718-the front room} , which looked to [the street]_{347-the street} , was [[his]_{143-mr benson} room]_{4528-his room} ; and many [a person coming for help]_{1721-a person coming for help} -- help of which giving money was the lowest kind -- was admitted , and let forth by [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , unknown to [any one else in [the house]_{426-the house}]_{1722-any one else in the house} . To make amends for [his]_{143-mr benson} having [the least cheerful room on the ground - floor]_{1724-the least cheerful room on the ground - floor} , [he]_{143-mr benson} had [the garden bedroom]_{1725-the garden bedroom} , while [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} slept over [[his]_{143-mr benson} study]_{1727-his study} . There were [two more rooms]_{1728-two more rooms} again over these , with sloping ceilings , though otherwise large and airy . The attic looking into [the garden]_{783-the garden} was [the spare bedroom]_{1730-the spare bedroom} ; while the front belonged to [Sally]_148-sally . There was [no room over [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen}]_{1731-no room over the kitchen} , which was , in fact , [a supplement to [the house]_{426-the house}]_{1733-a supplement to the house} . [The sitting - room]_{1155-the sitting - room} was called by the pretty , old - fashioned name of [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , while [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's room]_{1737-mr benson 's room} was styled [the study]_{1738-the study} . The curtains were drawn in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} ; there was a bright fire and a clean hearth ; indeed , exquisite cleanliness seemed the very spirit of [the household]_{1179-the household} , for the door which was open to [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} showed a delicately - white and spotless floor , and bright glittering tins , on which the ruddy firelight danced . From the place in which [Ruth]_81-ruth sat [she]_81-ruth could see all [Sally]_148-sally 's movements ; and though [she]_81-ruth was not conscious of close or minute observation at the time ( [her]_81-ruth body being weary , and [her]_81-ruth mind full of other thoughts ) , yet it was curious how faithfully that scene remained depicted on [her]_81-ruth memory in after years . The warm light filled every corner of [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , in strong distinction to the faint illumination of the one candle in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , whose radiance was confined , and was lost in the dead folds of window - curtains , carpet , and furniture . The square , stout , bustling figure , neat and clean in every respect , but dressed in the peculiar , old - fashioned costume of [the county]_{295-the county} , namely , a dark - striped linsey - woolsey petticoat , made very short , displaying sturdy legs in woollen stockings beneath ; a loose kind of jacket called there a " bedgown , "_[148-sally] made of pink print ; a snow - white apron and cap , both of linen , and the latter made in the shape of a " mutch;"--these_[81-ruth] articles completed [Sally]_148-sally 's costume , and were painted on [Ruth]_81-ruth 's memory . Whilst [Sally]_148-sally was busied in preparing tea , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} took off [Ruth]_81-ruth 's things ; and [the latter]_{1745-the latter} instinctively felt that [Sally]_148-sally , in the midst of [her]_81-ruth movements , was watching [their]_1746-their proceedings . Occasionally [she]_81-ruth also put in a word in the conversation , and these little sentences were uttered quite in the tone of an equal , if not of a superior . [She]_81-ruth had dropped the more formal " [you]_4836-you , "_[81-ruth] with which at first [she]_81-ruth had addressed [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , and thou'd [her]_81-ruth quietly and habitually . All these particulars sank unconsciously into [Ruth]_81-ruth 's mind ; but they did not rise to the surface , and become perceptible , for a length of time . [She]_81-ruth was weary , and much depressed . Even the very kindness that ministered to [her]_81-ruth was overpowering . But over the dark , misty moor a little light shone,--a beacon ; and on that [she]_81-ruth fixed [her]_81-ruth eyes , and struggled out of [her]_81-ruth present deep dejection -- [the little child that was coming to [her]_81-ruth]_{1747-the little child that was coming to her} ! [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was as languid and weary as [Ruth]_81-ruth , and was silent during all this bustle and preparation . [His]_{143-mr benson} silence was more grateful to [Ruth]_81-ruth than [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's many words , although [she]_81-ruth felt [their]_1748-their kindness . After tea , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} took [her]_81-ruth [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} to [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} . The white dimity bed , and the walls , stained green , had something of the colouring and purity of effect of a snowdrop ; while the floor , rubbed with a mixture that turned it into a rich dark brown , suggested the idea of the garden - mould out of which the snowdrop grows . As [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} helped [the pale Ruth]_{1751-the pale ruth} to undress , [her]_81-ruth voice became less full - toned and hurried ; the hush of approaching night subdued [her]_81-ruth into a softened , solemn kind of tenderness , and the murmured blessing sounded like granted prayer . When [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} came [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} , [she]_81-ruth found [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} reading some letters which had been received during [his]_{982-her brother} absence . [She]_81-ruth went and softly shut the door of communication between [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} and [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} ; and then , fetching a grey worsted stocking which [she]_81-ruth was knitting , sat down near [him]_{982-her brother} , [her]_81-ruth eyes not looking at [her]_81-ruth work but fixed on the fire ; while the eternal rapid click of the knitting - needles broke the silence of [the room]_{357-the room} , with a sound as monotonous and incessant as the noise of a hand - loom . [She]_81-ruth expected [him]_{982-her brother} to speak , but [he]_{982-her brother} did not . [She]_81-ruth enjoyed an examination into , and discussion of , [her]_81-ruth feelings ; it was an interest and amusement to [her]_81-ruth , while [he]_{982-her brother} dreaded and avoided all such conversation . There were times when [his]_{982-her brother} feelings , which were always earnest , and sometimes morbid , burst forth , and defied control , and overwhelmed [him]_{982-her brother} ; when a force was upon [him]_{982-her brother} compelling [him]_{982-her brother} to speak . But [he]_{982-her brother} , in general , strove to preserve [his]_{982-her brother} composure , from a fear of the compelling pain of such times , and the consequent exhaustion . [His]_{982-her brother} heart had been very full of [Ruth]_81-ruth all day long , and [he]_{982-her brother} was afraid of [[his]_{982-her brother} sister]_{4508-his sister} beginning the subject ; so [he]_{982-her brother} read on , or seemed to do so , though [he]_{982-her brother} hardly saw the letter [he]_{982-her brother} held before [him]_{982-her brother} . It was a great relief to [him]_{982-her brother} when [Sally]_148-sally threw open the middle door with a bang , which did not indicate either calmness of mind or sweetness of temper . " Is [yon young woman]_{4837-yon young woman} going to stay any length o ' time with [us]_4838-us ? "_[148-sally] asked [she]_148-sally of [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} put [his]_{143-mr benson} hand gently on [[his]_{982-her brother} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's arm , to check [her]_148-sally from making any reply , while [he]_{143-mr benson} said , " [We]_4838-us can not exactly tell , [Sally]_148-sally . [She]_{4508-his sister} will remain until after [her]_{4508-his sister} confinement . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Lord]_4839-lord bless [us]_4838-us and save [[us!--a]_{4837-yon young woman} baby in [the house]_{426-the house}]_{4840-us!--a baby in the house} ! Nay , then [my]_148-sally time 's come , and [I]_148-sally 'll pack up and begone . [I]_148-sally never could abide them things . [I]_148-sally 'd sooner have rats in [the house]_{426-the house} . "_[148-sally] [Sally]_148-sally really did look alarmed . " Why , [Sally]_148-sally ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , smiling , " [I]_{143-mr benson} was not much more than [a baby]_{4677-a baby} when [you]_148-sally came to take care of [me]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes , [you]_148-sally were , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan ; [you]_148-sally were [a fine bouncing lad of three year old]_{4844-a fine bouncing lad of three year old} and better . "_[148-sally] Then [she]_148-sally remembered the change [she]_148-sally had wrought in [the " fine bouncing lad]_{4845-the " fine bouncing lad} , "_{[143-mr benson]} and [her]_148-sally eyes filled with tears , which [she]_148-sally was too proud to wipe away with [her]_148-sally apron ; for , as [she]_148-sally sometimes said to [herself]_148-sally , " [she]_148-sally could not abide crying before [folk]_4846-folk . "_[148-sally] " Well , it 's no use talking , [Sally]_148-sally , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , too anxious to speak to be any longer repressed . " [We]_4847-we 've promised to keep [her]_148-sally , and [we]_4847-we must do it ; [you]_148-sally 'll have none of the trouble , [Sally]_148-sally , so do n't be afraid . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Well , [I]_148-sally never ! as if [I]_148-sally minded trouble ! [You]_148-sally might ha ' known [me]_148-sally better nor that . [I]_148-sally 've scoured [[master]_4301-master 's room]_{4849-master 's room} twice over , just to make the boards look white , though the carpet is to cover them , and now [you]_148-sally go and cast up about [me]_148-sally minding [my]_148-sally trouble . If [them]_4850-them 's the fashions [you]_148-sally 've learnt in [Wales]_22-wales , [I]_148-sally 'm thankful [I]_148-sally 've never been [there]_332-there . "_[148-sally] [Sally]_148-sally looked red , indignant , and really hurt . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} came in with [his]_{143-mr benson} musical voice and soft words of healing . " [Faith]_147-faith knows [you]_148-sally do n't care for trouble , [Sally]_148-sally ; [she]_147-faith is only anxious about [this poor young woman]_{4852-this poor young woman} , who has [no friends]_{690-no friends} but [ourselves]_4854-we . [We]_4854-we know there will be more trouble in consequence of [her]_{4852-this poor young woman} coming to stay with [us]_4854-we ; and [I]_{143-mr benson} think , though [we]_4854-we never spoke about it , that in making [our]_4854-we plans [we]_4854-we reckoned on [your]_148-sally kind help , [Sally]_148-sally , which has never failed [us]_4854-we yet when [we]_4854-we needed it . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [You]_148-sally 've twice the sense of [[your]_148-sally sister]_{4855-your sister} , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , that [you]_148-sally have . [Boys]_4856-boys always has . It 's truth there will be more trouble , and [I]_148-sally shall have [my]_148-sally share on't , [I]_148-sally reckon . [I]_148-sally can face it if [I]_148-sally 'm told out and out , but [I]_148-sally can not abide the way [some folk]_{4857-some folk} has of denying there 's trouble or pain to be met ; just as if [their]_{4857-some folk} saying there was none , would do away with it . [Some folk]_{4857-some folk} treats [one]_321-one like [a babby]_{4860-a babby} , and [I]_148-sally do n't like it . [I]_148-sally 'm not meaning _ [you]_148-sally _ , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan . "_[148-sally] " No , [Sally]_148-sally , [you]_148-sally need not say that . [I]_{143-mr benson} know well enough who [you]_148-sally mean when [you]_148-sally say ' [some folk]_{4857-some folk} . ' However , [I]_{143-mr benson} admit [I]_{143-mr benson} was wrong in speaking as if [you]_148-sally minded trouble , for there never was a creature minded it less . But [I]_{143-mr benson} want [you]_148-sally to like [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [I]_{143-mr benson} dare say [I]_{143-mr benson} should , if [you]_148-sally 'd let [me]_{143-mr benson} alone . [I]_{143-mr benson} did na like [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} sitting down in [master]_4301-master 's chair . Set [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} up , indeed , in an arm - chair wi ' cushions ! Wenches in [my]_{143-mr benson} day were glad enough of stools . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} was tired to - night , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [We]_{1759-the three quiet people} are all tired ; so if [you]_148-sally have done [your]_148-sally work , [Sally]_148-sally , come in to reading . "_{[143-mr benson]} [The three quiet people]_{1759-the three quiet people} knelt down side by side , and [two of [them]_{1759-the three quiet people}]_{1760-two of them} prayed earnestly for " [them]_{1759-the three quiet people} that had gone astray . "_{[143-mr benson]} Before ten o'clock , [the household]_{1179-the household} were in bed . [Ruth]_81-ruth , sleepless , weary , restless with the oppression of a sorrow which [she]_81-ruth dared not face and contemplate bravely , kept awake all the early part of the night . Many a time did [she]_81-ruth rise , and go to the long casement window , and look abroad over [the still and quiet town]_{1762-the still and quiet town} -- over the grey stone walls , and chimneys , and old high - pointed roofs -- on to [the far - away hilly line of the horizon]_{1763-the far - away hilly line of the horizon} , lying calm under the bright moonshine . It was late in the morning when [she]_81-ruth woke from [her]_81-ruth long - deferred slumbers ; and when [she]_81-ruth went [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} , [she]_81-ruth found [Mr]_1765-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} awaiting [her]_81-ruth in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} . [That homely , pretty , old - fashioned little room]_{1767-that homely , pretty , old - fashioned little room} ! How bright and still and clean [it]_{1767-that homely , pretty , old - fashioned little room} looked ! The window ( all the windows at the back of [the house]_{426-the house} were casements ) was open , to let in the sweet morning air , and streaming eastern sunshine . The long jessamine sprays , with their white - scented stars , forced [themselves]_{1769-themselves} almost into [the room]_{357-the room} . [The little square garden beyond]_{1771-the little square garden beyond} , with grey stone walls all round , was rich and mellow in its autumnal colouring , running from deep crimson hollyhocks up to amber and gold nasturtiums , and all toned down by the clear and delicate air . It was so still , that the gossamer - webs , laden with dew , did not tremble or quiver in the least ; but the sun was drawing to [himself]_1772-himself the sweet incense of many flowers , and [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} was scented with the odours of mignonette and stocks . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was arranging a bunch of China and damask roses in an old - fashioned jar ; they lay , all dewy and fresh , on the white breakfast - cloth when [Ruth]_81-ruth entered . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was reading in some large folio . With gentle morning speech [they]_1774-our greeted [her]_81-ruth ; but the quiet repose of the scene was instantly broken by [Sally]_148-sally popping in from [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , and glancing at [Ruth]_81-ruth with sharp reproach . [She]_148-sally said : " [I]_148-sally reckon [I]_148-sally may bring in breakfast , now ? "_[148-sally] with a strong emphasis on the last word . " [I]_81-ruth am afraid [I]_81-ruth am very late , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Oh , never mind , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , gently . " It was [our]_1774-our fault for not telling [you]_81-ruth [our]_1774-our breakfast hour . [We]_1774-our always have prayers at half - past seven ; and , for [Sally]_148-sally 's sake , [we]_1774-our never vary from that time ; for [she]_148-sally can so arrange [her]_148-sally work , if [she]_148-sally knows the hour of prayers , as to have [her]_148-sally mind calm and untroubled . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Ahem ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , rather inclined to " testify "_{[143-mr benson]} against the invariable calmness of [Sally]_148-sally 's mind at any hour of the day ; but [[her]_148-sally brother]_{982-her brother} went on as if [he]_{982-her brother} did not hear [her]_148-sally . " But the breakfast does not signify being delayed a little ; and [I]_{982-her brother} am sure [you]_148-sally were sadly tired with [your]_148-sally long day yesterday . "_{[982-her brother]} [Sally]_148-sally came slapping in , and put down some withered , tough , dry toast , with-- " It 's not [my]_148-sally doing if it is like leather ; "_[148-sally] but as [no one]_{517-no one} appeared to hear [her]_148-sally , [she]_148-sally withdrew to [[her]_148-sally kitchen]_{1778-her kitchen} , leaving [Ruth]_81-ruth 's cheeks like crimson at the annoyance [she]_148-sally had caused . All day long , [she]_148-sally had that feeling common to [those who go to stay at [a fresh house]_{1780-a fresh house} among [comparative strangers]_{1781-comparative strangers}]_{1779-those who go to stay at a fresh house among comparative strangers} : a feeling of the necessity that [she]_148-sally should become accustomed to the new atmosphere in which [she]_148-sally was placed , before [she]_148-sally could move and act freely ; it was , indeed , a purer ether , a diviner air , which [she]_148-sally was breathing in now , than what [she]_148-sally had been accustomed to for long months . [The gentle , blessed mother]_{1782-the gentle , blessed mother} , who had made [her]_{1782-the gentle , blessed mother} childhood 's [home holy ground]_{1783-home holy ground} , was in [her]_{1782-the gentle , blessed mother} very nature so far removed from any of earth 's stains and temptations , that [she]_{1782-the gentle , blessed mother} seemed truly [one of those Who ask not if Thine eye Be on [them]_1785-them]_{1784-one of those who ask not if thine eye be on them} ; who , in love and truth , Where no misgiving is , rely Upon the genial sense of youth . In [[the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} ' house]_{1786-the bensons ' house} there was the same unconsciousness of individual merit , the same absence of introspection and analysis of motive , as there had been in [[her]_148-sally mother]_{710-her mother} ; but it seemed that [their]_1788-their lives were pure and good , not merely from a lovely and beautiful nature , but from some law , the obedience to which was , of itself , harmonious peace , and which governed [them]_1788-their almost implicitly , and with as little questioning on [their]_1788-their part , as the glorious stars which haste not , rest not , in [their]_1788-their eternal obedience . [This household]_{1789-this household} had many failings : [they]_1788-their were but human , and , with all [their]_1788-their loving desire to bring [their]_1788-their lives into harmony with the will of [God]_104-leonard , [they]_1788-their often erred and fell short ; but , somehow , the very errors and faults of [one individual]_{1790-one individual} served to call out higher excellences in another , and so [they]_1788-their reacted upon [each other]_{579-each other} , and the result of short discords was exceeding harmony and peace . But [they]_1788-their had [themselves]_1788-their no idea of the real state of things ; [they]_1788-their did not trouble [themselves]_1788-their with marking [their]_1788-their progress by self - examination ; if [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} did sometimes , in hours of sick incapacity for exertion , turn inwards , it was to cry aloud with almost morbid despair , " [God]_104-leonard be merciful to [me]_{143-mr benson} [a sinner]_{4863-a sinner} ! "_{[143-mr benson]} But [he]_{143-mr benson} strove to leave [his]_{143-mr benson} life in the hands of [God]_104-leonard , and to forget [himself]_{143-mr benson} . [Ruth]_81-ruth sat still and quiet through the long first day . [She]_81-ruth was languid and weary from [her]_81-ruth journey ; [she]_81-ruth was uncertain what help [she]_81-ruth might offer to give in the household duties , and what [she]_81-ruth might not . And , in [her]_81-ruth languor and in [her]_81-ruth uncertainty , it was pleasant to watch the new ways of [the people among whom [she]_81-ruth was placed]_{1792-the people among whom she was placed} . After breakfast , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} withdrew to [[his]_{143-mr benson} study]_{1727-his study} , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} took away the cups and saucers , and , leaving the [kitchen]_1794-kitchen door open , talked sometimes to [Ruth]_81-ruth , sometimes to [Sally]_148-sally , while [she]_1795-she washed [them]_1796-them up . [Sally]_148-sally had upstairs duties to perform , for which [Ruth]_81-ruth was thankful , as [she]_81-ruth kept receiving rather angry glances for [her]_81-ruth unpunctuality as long as [Sally]_148-sally remained [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} assisted in the preparation for the early dinner , and brought some kidney - beans to shred into a basin of bright , pure spring - water , which caught and danced in the sunbeams as [she]_1795-she sat near the open casement of [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , talking to [Ruth]_81-ruth of things and [people which as yet the latter]_{1799-people which as yet the latter} did not understand , and could not arrange and comprehend . [She]_1795-she was like [a child who gets a few pieces of a dissected map , and is confused until a glimpse of the whole unity]_{1800-a child who gets a few pieces of a dissected map , and is confused until a glimpse of the whole unity} is shown [him]_{1800-a child who gets a few pieces of a dissected map , and is confused until a glimpse of the whole unity} . [Mr]_1801-mr and [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} were the centre pieces in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's map ; [[their]_1802-their children]_{1803-their children} , [[their]_1802-their servants]_{1804-their servants} , were the accessories ; and one or two other names were occasionally mentioned . [Ruth]_81-ruth wondered and almost wearied at [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's perseverance in talking to [her]_1795-she about [people whom [she]_1795-she did not know]_{1805-people whom she did not know} ; but , in truth , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} heard the long - drawn , quivering sighs which came from the poor heavy heart , when it was left to silence , and had leisure to review the past ; and [her]_1795-she quick accustomed ear caught also the low mutterings of the thunder in the distance , in the shape of [Sally]_148-sally 's soliloquies , which , like the asides at [a theatre]_{1806-a theatre} , were intended to be heard . Suddenly , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} called [Ruth]_81-ruth out of [the room]_{357-the room} , [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} into [[her]_1795-she own bed - chamber]_{1809-her own bed - chamber} , and then began rummaging in little old - fashioned boxes , drawn out of an equally old - fashioned bureau , half desk , half table , and wholly drawers . " [[My]_1795-she dear]_{4145-my dear} , [I]_1795-she 've been very stupid and thoughtless . Oh ! [I]_1795-she 'm so glad [I]_1795-she thought of it before [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} came to call . Here it is ! "_[1795-she] and [she]_1795-she pulled out an old wedding - ring , and hurried it on [Ruth]_81-ruth 's finger . [Ruth]_81-ruth hung down [her]_81-ruth head , and reddened deep with shame ; [her]_81-ruth eyes smarted with the hot tears that filled them . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} talked on , in a nervous hurried way : " It was [[my]_{143-mr benson} grandmother]_{4865-my grandmother} 's ; it 's very broad ; [they]_{4865-my grandmother} made them so then , to hold a posy inside : there 's one in that ; Thine own sweetheart Till death doth part , [I]_{143-mr benson} think it is . There , there ! Run away , and look as if [you]_81-ruth 'd always worn it . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Ruth]_81-ruth went up to [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} , and threw [herself]_81-ruth down on [her]_81-ruth knees by the bedside , and cried as if [her]_81-ruth heart would break ; and then , as if a light had come down into [her]_81-ruth soul , [she]_81-ruth calmed [herself]_81-ruth and prayed -- no words can tell how humbly , and with what earnest feeling . When [she]_81-ruth came down , [she]_81-ruth was tear - stained and wretchedly pale ; but even [Sally]_148-sally looked at [her]_81-ruth with new eyes , because of the dignity with which [she]_148-sally was invested by an earnestness of purpose which had [[her]_148-sally child]_{631-her child} for its object . [She]_81-ruth sat and thought , but [she]_81-ruth no longer heaved those bitter sighs which had wrung [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's heart in the morning . In this way the day wore on ; early dinner , early tea , seemed to make it preternaturally long to [Ruth]_81-ruth ; the only event was some unexplained absence of [Sally]_148-sally 's , who had disappeared out of [the house]_{426-the house} in the evening , much to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's surprise , and somewhat to [her]_81-ruth indignation . At night , after [Ruth]_81-ruth had gone up to [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} , this absence was explained to [her]_81-ruth at least . [She]_81-ruth had let down [her]_81-ruth long waving glossy hair , and was standing absorbed in thought in the middle of [the room]_{357-the room} , when [she]_81-ruth heard a round clumping knock at [her]_81-ruth door , different from that given by the small knuckles of delicate fingers , and in walked [Sally]_148-sally , with a judge - like severity of demeanour , holding in [her]_148-sally hand two [widow]_1815-widow 's caps of commonest make and coarsest texture . [Queen Eleanor]_{162-queen eleanor} [herself]_{162-queen eleanor} , when [she]_{162-queen eleanor} presented the bowl to [Fair Rosamond]_{163-fair rosamond} , had not a more relentless purpose stamped on [her]_{162-queen eleanor} demeanour than had [Sally]_148-sally at this moment . [She]_81-ruth walked up to the beautiful , astonished [Ruth]_81-ruth , where [she]_81-ruth stood in [her]_81-ruth long , soft , white dressing - gown , with all [her]_81-ruth luxuriant brown hair hanging dishevelled down [her]_81-ruth figure , and thus [Sally]_148-sally spoke : " [Missus]_4866-missus -- or [miss]_4384-miss , as the case may be -- [I've]_148-sally [my]_1816-i doubts as to [you]_4868-you . [I]_1816-i 'm not going to have [[my]_1816-i master]_{4869-my master} and [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} put upon , or shame come near [them]_4870-them . [Widows]_4871-widows wears these sort o ' caps , and has [their]_4871-widows hair cut off ; and whether [widows]_4871-widows wears wedding - rings or not , [they]_4871-widows shall have [their]_4871-widows hair cut off -- [they]_4871-widows shall . [I]_1816-i 'll have no half work in [this house]_{4203-this house} . [I]_1816-i 've lived with [the family]_{693-the family} forty - nine year come [Michaelmas]_{165-michaelmas} , and [I]_1816-i 'll not see it disgraced by [any one]_{425-any one} 's fine long curls . Sit down and let [me]_1816-i snip off [your]_4868-you hair , and let [me]_1816-i see [you]_4868-you sham decently in [a widow]_{675-a widow} 's cap to - morrow , or [I]_1816-i 'll leave [the house]_{426-the house} . Whatten 's come over [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} , as used to be as mim [a lady as ever]_{4878-a lady as ever} was , to be taken by such as [you]_4868-you , [I]_1816-i dunnot know . Here ! sit down with [ye]_4868-you , and let [me]_1816-i crop [you]_4868-you . "_[1816-i] [She]_1816-i laid no light hand on [Ruth]_81-ruth 's shoulder ; and the latter , partly intimidated by [the old servant]_{782-the old servant} , who had hitherto only turned [her]_{782-the old servant} vixen lining to observation , and partly because [she]_{782-the old servant} was broken - spirited enough to be indifferent to the measure proposed , quietly sat down . [Sally]_148-sally produced the formidable pair of scissors that always hung at [her]_148-sally side , and began to cut in a merciless manner . [She]_148-sally expected some remonstrance or some opposition , and had a torrent of words ready to flow forth at the least sign of rebellion ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth was still and silent , with meekly - bowed head , under the strange hands that were shearing [her]_81-ruth beautiful hair into the clipped shortness of [a boy]_{1510-a boy} 's . Long before [she]_148-sally had finished , [Sally]_148-sally had some slight misgivings as to the fancied necessity of [her]_148-sally task ; but it was too late , for half the curls were gone , and the rest must now come off . When [she]_148-sally had done , [she]_148-sally lifted up [Ruth]_81-ruth 's face by placing [her]_148-sally hand under the round white chin . [She]_148-sally gazed into the countenance , expecting to read some anger there , though it had not come out in words ; but [she]_148-sally only met the large , quiet eyes , that looked at [her]_148-sally with sad gentleness out of their finely - hollowed orbits . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's soft , yet dignified submission , touched [Sally]_148-sally with compunction , though [she]_{782-the old servant} did not choose to show the change in [her]_{782-the old servant} feelings . [She]_{782-the old servant} tried to hide it , indeed , by stooping to pick up the long bright tresses ; and , holding them up admiringly , and letting them drop down and float on the air ( like the pendant branches of the weeping birch ) , [she]_{782-the old servant} said : " [I]_{782-the old servant} thought [we]_4879-we should ha ' had some crying -- [I]_{782-the old servant} did . They 're pretty curls enough ; [you]_148-sally 've not been so bad to let them be cut off neither . [You]_148-sally see , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan is no wiser than [a babby]_{4860-a babby} in some things ; and [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} just lets [him]_161-thurstan have [his]_161-thurstan own way ; so it 's all left to [me]_{782-the old servant} to keep [him]_161-thurstan out of scrapes . [I]_{782-the old servant} 'll wish [you]_148-sally a very good night . [I]_{782-the old servant} 've heard [many a one]_{4881-many a one} say as long hair was not wholesome . Good night . "_{[782-the old servant]} But in a minute [she]_{782-the old servant} popped [her]_{782-the old servant} head into [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's room]_{1819-ruth 's room} once more : " [You]_81-ruth 'll put on them caps to - morrow morning . [I]_{782-the old servant} 'll make [you]_148-sally a present on them . "_{[782-the old servant]} [Sally]_148-sally had carried away the beautiful curls , and [she]_148-sally could not find it in [her]_148-sally heart to throw such lovely chestnut tresses away , so [she]_148-sally folded them up carefully in paper , and placed them in a safe corner of [her]_148-sally drawer . CHAPTER XIV [Ruth]_81-ruth 's First Sunday at [Eccleston]_36-eccleston [Ruth]_81-ruth felt very shy when [she]_81-ruth came down ( at half - past seven ) the next morning , in [[her]_81-ruth widow]_{1820-her widow} 's cap . [Her]_81-ruth smooth , pale face , with its oval untouched by time , looked more young and childlike than ever , when contrasted with the head - gear usually associated with ideas of age . [She]_81-ruth blushed very deeply as [Mr]_1821-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} showed the astonishment , which [they]_1822-they could not conceal , in [their]_1822-they looks . [She]_81-ruth said in a low voice to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , " [Sally]_148-sally thought [I]_81-ruth had better wear it . "_[81-ruth] [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} made no reply ; but was startled at the intelligence , which [she]_81-ruth thought was conveyed in this speech , of [Sally]_148-sally 's acquaintance with [Ruth]_81-ruth 's real situation . [She]_81-ruth noticed [Sally]_148-sally 's looks particularly this morning . The manner in which [the old servant]_{782-the old servant} treated [Ruth]_81-ruth had in it far more of respect than there had been the day before ; but there was a kind of satisfied way of braving out [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's glances which made [the latter]_{1745-the latter} uncertain and uncomfortable . [She]_81-ruth followed [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} into [[his]_{982-her brother} study]_{1727-his study} . " Do [you]_{143-mr benson} know , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , [I]_81-ruth am almost certain [Sally]_148-sally suspects . "_[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} sighed . The deception grieved [him]_{143-mr benson} , and yet [he]_{143-mr benson} thought [he]_{143-mr benson} saw its necessity . " What makes [you]_{143-mr benson} think so ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [he]_{143-mr benson} . " Oh ! many little things . It was [her]_148-sally odd way of ducking [her]_148-sally head about , as if to catch a good view of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's left hand , that made [me]_{143-mr benson} think of the wedding - ring ; and once , yesterday , when [I]_{143-mr benson} thought [I]_{143-mr benson} had made up quite a natural speech , and was saying how sad it was for [so young a creature]_{4882-so young a creature} to be left [a widow]_{675-a widow} , [she]_148-sally broke in with ' [widow be farred]_{4884-widow be farred} ! ' in a very strange , contemptuous kind of manner . "_{[143-mr benson]} " If [she]_148-sally suspects , [we]_4885-we had far better tell [her]_148-sally the truth at once . [She]_148-sally will never rest till [she]_148-sally finds it out , so [we]_4885-we must make a virtue of necessity . "_[81-ruth] " Well , [brother]_4681-brother , [you]_4681-brother shall tell [her]_148-sally then , for [I]_{143-mr benson} am sure [I]_{143-mr benson} dare n't . [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't mind doing the thing , since [you]_4681-brother talked to [me]_{143-mr benson} that day , and since [I]_{143-mr benson} 've got to know [Ruth]_81-ruth ; but [I]_{143-mr benson} do mind [all the clatter people]_{4887-all the clatter people} will make about it . "_{[143-mr benson]} " But [Sally]_148-sally is not ' [people]_322-people . ' "_{[143-mr benson]} " Oh , [I]_{143-mr benson} see it must be done ; [she]_148-sally 'll talk as much as [all the other persons put together]_{4889-all the other persons put together} , so that 's the reason [I]_{143-mr benson} call [her]_148-sally ' [people]_322-people . ' Shall [I]_{143-mr benson} call [her]_148-sally ? "_{[143-mr benson]} ( For [the house]_{426-the house} was too homely and primitive to have bells . ) [Sally]_148-sally came , fully aware of what was now going to be told [her]_148-sally , and determined not to help [them]_1828-they out in telling [their]_1828-they awkward secret , by understanding the nature of it before it was put into the plainest language . In every pause , when [they]_1828-they hoped [she]_148-sally had caught the meaning [they]_1828-they were hinting at , [she]_148-sally persisted in looking stupid and perplexed , and in saying , " Well , "_[148-sally] as if quite unenlightened as to the end of the story . When it was all complete and plain before [her]_148-sally , [she]_148-sally said , honestly enough , " It 's just as [I]_148-sally thought it was ; and [I]_148-sally think [you]_{143-mr benson} may thank [me]_148-sally for having had the sense to put [her]_148-sally into [widow]_1815-widow 's caps , and clip off that bonny brown hair that was fitter for [a bride]_{4892-a bride} in lawful matrimony than for such as [her]_148-sally . [She]_148-sally took it very well , though . [She]_148-sally was as quiet as a lamb , and [I]_148-sally clipped [her]_148-sally pretty roughly at first . [I]_148-sally must say , though , if [I]_148-sally 'd [ha]_4893-ha ' known who [[your]_{143-mr benson} visitor]_{4894-your visitor} was , [I]_148-sally 'd ha ' packed up [my]_148-sally things and cleared [myself]_148-sally out of [the house]_{426-the house} before such as [her]_148-sally came into [it]_{426-the house} . As it 's done , [I]_148-sally suppose [I]_148-sally must stand by [you]_{143-mr benson} , and help [you]_{143-mr benson} through with it ; [I]_148-sally only hope [I]_148-sally sha n't lose [my]_148-sally character,--and [me]_148-sally [[a parish clerk]_{4896-a parish clerk} 's daughter]_{4897-a parish clerk 's daughter} . "_[148-sally] " Oh , [Sally]_148-sally ! [people]_322-people know [you]_{143-mr benson} too well to think any ill of [you]_{143-mr benson} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who was pleased to find the difficulty so easily got over ; for , in truth , [Sally]_148-sally had been much softened by the unresisting gentleness with which [Ruth]_81-ruth had submitted to the " clipping "_[148-sally] of the night before . " If [I]_148-sally 'd been with [you]_{143-mr benson} , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , [I]_148-sally 'd [ha]_4899-ha ' seen sharp after [you]_{143-mr benson} , for [you]_{143-mr benson} 're always picking up some one or another as [nobody else]_{4900-nobody else} would touch with a pair of tongs . Why , there was [that [Nelly Brandon]_{166-nelly brandon} 's child]_{4901-that nelly brandon 's child} as was left at [our]_4902-we door , if [I]_148-sally had n't gone to [th ' overseer]_{4903-th ' overseer} [we]_4902-we should have had [that Irish tramp 's babby]_{4904-that irish tramp 's babby} saddled on [us]_4902-we for life ; but [I]_148-sally went off and told [th ' overseer]_{4903-th ' overseer} , and [th ' mother]_{4906-th ' mother} was caught . "_[148-sally] " Yes , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , sadly , " and [I]_{143-mr benson} often lie awake and wonder what is the fate of that poor little thing , forced back on [the mother who tried to get quit of it]_{4907-the mother who tried to get quit of it} . [I]_{143-mr benson} often doubt whether [I]_{143-mr benson} did right ; but it 's no use thinking about it now . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_148-sally 'm thankful it is n't , "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally ; " and now , if [we]_4902-we 've talked doctrine long enough , [I]_148-sally 'll go make th ' beds . [Yon girl]_{4908-yon girl} 's secret is safe enough for [me]_148-sally . "_[148-sally] Saying this [she]_148-sally left [the room]_{357-the room} , and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} followed . [She]_1830-she found [Ruth]_81-ruth busy washing the breakfast things ; and [they]_1831-their were done in so quiet and orderly a manner , that neither [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} nor [Sally]_148-sally , both particular enough , had any of [their]_1831-their little fancies or prejudices annoyed . [She]_1830-she seemed to have an instinctive knowledge of the exact period when [her]_1830-she help was likely to become a hindrance , and withdrew from [the busy kitchen]_{1832-the busy kitchen} just at the right time . That afternoon , as [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Ruth]_81-ruth sat at [their]_1831-their work , [Mrs]_1833-mrs and [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} called . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was so nervous as to surprise [Ruth]_81-ruth , who did not understand the probable and possible questions which might be asked respecting [any visitor at [[the minister]_{1835-the minister} 's house]_{1836-the minister 's house}]_{1834-any visitor at the minister 's house} . [Ruth]_81-ruth went on sewing , absorbed in [her]_81-ruth own thoughts , and glad that the conversation between [the two elder ladies]_{1837-the two elder ladies} and the silence of [the younger one]_{1838-the younger one} , who sat at some distance from [her]_81-ruth , gave [her]_81-ruth an opportunity of retreating into the haunts of memory ; and soon the work fell from [her]_81-ruth hands , and [her]_81-ruth eyes were fixed on [the little garden beyond]_{1839-the little garden beyond} , but [she]_81-ruth did not see [its]_{1839-the little garden beyond} flowers or [its]_{1839-the little garden beyond} walls ; [she]_81-ruth saw [the mountains which girdled [Llan - dhu]_{31-llan - dhu}]_{1840-the mountains which girdled llan - dhu} , and saw the sun rise from behind their iron outline , just as it had done -- how long ago ? was it months or was it years?--since [she]_81-ruth had watched the night through , crouched up at _ [his]_{1835-the minister} _ door . Which was the dream and which the reality ? that distant life , or this ? [His]_{1835-the minister} moans rang more clearly in [her]_81-ruth ears than the buzzing of the conversation between [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . At length [the subdued , scared - looking little lady and [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} bright - eyed silent daughter]_{1841-the subdued , scared - looking little lady and her bright - eyed silent daughter} rose to take leave ; [Ruth]_81-ruth started into the present , and stood up and curtseyed , and turned sick at heart with sudden recollection . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} accompanied [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to the door ; and in [the passage]_{1842-the passage} gave [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} a long explanation of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's ( fictitious ) history . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} looked so much interested and pleased , that [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} enlarged a little more than was necessary , and rounded off [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} invention with one or two imaginary details , which , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was quite unconscious , were overheard by [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} brother]_{982-her brother} through the half - open study door . [She]_81-ruth was rather dismayed when [he]_{982-her brother} called [her]_81-ruth into [[his]_{982-her brother} room]_{4528-his room} after [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's departure , and asked [her]_81-ruth what [she]_81-ruth had been saying about [Ruth]_81-ruth ? " Oh ! [I]_81-ruth thought it was better to explain it thoroughly -- [I]_81-ruth mean , to tell the story [we]_4909-we wished to have believed once for all -- [you]_81-ruth know [we]_4909-we agreed about that , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ? "_[81-ruth] deprecatingly . " Yes ; but [I]_81-ruth heard [you]_81-ruth saying [you]_81-ruth believed [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} had been [a young surgeon]_{4911-a young surgeon} , did [I]_81-ruth not ? "_[81-ruth] " Well , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , [you]_81-ruth know [he]_{730-her husband} must have been something ; and [young surgeons]_{4912-young surgeons} are so in the way of dying , it seemed very natural . Besides , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , with sudden boldness , " [I]_81-ruth do think [I]_81-ruth 've a talent for fiction , it is so pleasant to invent , and make the incidents dovetail together ; and after all , if [we]_4909-we are to tell a lie , [we]_4909-we may as well do it thoroughly , or else it 's of no use . A bungling lie would be worse than useless . And , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan -- it may be very wrong -- but [I]_81-ruth believe -- [I]_81-ruth am afraid [I]_81-ruth enjoy not being fettered by truth . Do n't look so grave . [You]_81-ruth know it is necessary , if ever it was , to tell falsehoods now ; and do n't be angry with [me]_81-ruth because [I]_81-ruth do it well . "_[81-ruth] [He]_1845-i was shading [his]_1845-i eyes with [his]_1845-i hand , and did not speak for some time . At last [he]_1845-i said : " If it were not for [the child]_{565-the child} , [I]_1845-i would tell all ; but [the world]_{506-the world} is so cruel . [You]_81-ruth do n't know how this apparent necessity for falsehood pains [me]_1845-i , [Faith]_{164-miss faith} , or [you]_81-ruth would not invent all these details , which are so many additional lies . "_[1845-i] " Well , well ! [I]_1845-i will restrain [myself]_1845-i if [I]_1845-i have to talk about [Ruth]_81-ruth again . But [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} will tell [every one who need to know]_{4915-every one who need to know} . [You]_81-ruth do n't wish [me]_1845-i to contradict it , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , surely -- it was such a pretty , probable story . "_[1845-i] " Faith ! [I]_1845-i hope [God]_104-leonard will forgive [us]_4916-us if [we]_4916-us are doing wrong ; and pray , [dear]_4155-dear , do n't add one unnecessary word that is not true . "_[1845-i] Another day elapsed , and then it was Sunday ; and [the house]_{426-the house} seemed filled with a deep peace . Even [Sally]_148-sally 's movements were less hasty and abrupt . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} seemed invested with a new dignity , which made [his]_{143-mr benson} bodily deformity be forgotten in [his]_{143-mr benson} calm , grave composure of spirit . Every trace of week - day occupation was put away ; the night before , a bright new handsome tablecloth had been smoothed down over the table , and the jars had been freshly filled with flowers . Sunday was a festival and a holy day in [the house]_{426-the house} . After the very early breakfast , little feet pattered into [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's study]_{1717-mr benson 's study} , for [he]_{143-mr benson} had a class for [boys]_4856-boys -- a sort of domestic Sunday - school , only that there was more talking between [teacher]_1850-teacher and [pupils]_1851-pupils , than dry , absolute lessons going on . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , too , had [[her]_1852-her little , neat - tippeted maidens]_{1853-her little , neat - tippeted maidens} sitting with [her]_1852-her in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} ; and [she]_1852-her was far more particular in keeping [them]_{1853-her little , neat - tippeted maidens} to [their]_{1853-her little , neat - tippeted maidens} reading and spelling , than [[her]_1852-her brother]_{982-her brother} was with [[his]_{982-her brother} boys]_{1856-his boys} . [Sally]_148-sally , too , put in [her]_148-sally word of instruction from [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , helping , as [she]_148-sally fancied , though [her]_148-sally assistance was often rather _ malapropos _ ; for instance , [she]_148-sally called out , to [a little fat , stupid , roly - poly girl , to whom [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson}]_{1858-a little fat , stupid , roly - poly girl , to whom miss benson} was busy explaining the meaning of the word quadruped , " Quadruped , a thing wi ' four legs , [Jenny]_85-jenny ; a chair is a quadruped , [child]_895-child ! "_[148-sally] But [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had a deaf manner sometimes when [her]_1852-her patience was not too severely tried , and [she]_1852-her put it on now . [Ruth]_81-ruth sat on [a low hassock]_{1859-a low hassock} , and coaxed the least of the little creatures to [her]_81-ruth , and showed it pictures till it fell asleep in [her]_81-ruth arms , and sent a thrill through [her]_81-ruth , at the thought of [the tiny darling who would lie on [her]_81-ruth breast before long , and whom [she]_81-ruth would have to cherish and to shelter from the storms of [the world]_{506-the world}]_{1860-the tiny darling who would lie on her breast before long , and whom she would have to cherish and to shelter from the storms of the world} . And then [she]_81-ruth remembered , that [she]_81-ruth was once white and sinless as [the wee lassie who lay in [her]_81-ruth arms]_{1862-the wee lassie who lay in her arms} ; and [she]_81-ruth knew that [she]_81-ruth had gone astray . By - and - by [the children]_{550-the children} trooped away , and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} summoned [her]_81-ruth to put on [her]_81-ruth things for [chapel]_1864-chapel . [The chapel]_{1865-the chapel} was up [a narrow street]_{1866-a narrow street} , or rather [_ cul - de - sac _]_{1867-_ cul - de - sac _} , close by . [It]_{1865-the chapel} stood on [the outskirts of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{1868-the outskirts of the town} , almost in [fields]_1870-fields . [It]_{1865-the chapel} was built about the time of [Matthew]_167-matthew and [Philip Henry]_137-henry , when [the Dissenters]_{1871-the dissenters} were afraid of attracting attention or observation , and hid [their]_{1871-the dissenters} places of worship in [obscure and out - of - the - way parts of [the towns in which [they]_{1871-the dissenters} were built]_{1873-the towns in which they were built}]_{1872-obscure and out - of - the - way parts of the towns in which they were built} . Accordingly , it often happened , as in the present case , that [the buildings immediately surrounding]_{1874-the buildings immediately surrounding} , as well as [the chapels themselves]_{1875-the chapels themselves} , looked as if they carried [you]_1876-you back to a period a hundred and fifty years ago . [The chapel]_{1865-the chapel} had a picturesque and old - world look , for luckily [the congregation]_{4749-the congregation} had been too poor to rebuild [it]_{1865-the chapel} , or new - face [it]_{1865-the chapel} , in [George]_80-george [the Third]_{348-the third} 's time . The staircases which led to [the galleries]_{1880-the galleries} were outside , at each end of [the building]_{1881-the building} , and the irregular roof and worn stone steps looked grey and stained by time and weather . [The grassy hillocks]_{1882-the grassy hillocks} , each with a little upright headstone , were shaded by a grand old wych - elm . A lilac - bush or two , a white rose - tree , and a few laburnums , all old and gnarled enough , were planted round [the chapel yard]_{1883-the chapel yard} ; and the casement windows of [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel} were made of heavy - leaded , diamond - shaped panes , almost covered with ivy , producing a green gloom , not without its solemnity , within . [This ivy]_{1885-this ivy} was the home of an infinite number of little birds , which twittered and warbled , till it might have been thought that [they]_1886-they were emulous of the power of praise possessed by [the human creatures within]_{1887-the human creatures within} , with such earnest , long - drawn strains did [this crowd of winged songsters]_{1888-this crowd of winged songsters} rejoice and be glad in [their]_{1888-this crowd of winged songsters} beautiful gift of life . The interior of [the building]_{1881-the building} was plain and simple as plain and simple could be . When [it]_{1881-the building} was fitted up , oak - timber was much cheaper than it is now , so the wood - work was all of that description ; but roughly hewed , for [the early builders]_{1890-the early builders} had not much wealth to spare . The walls were whitewashed , and were recipients of the shadows of the beauty without ; on [[their]_1891-their " white plains]_{4919-their " white plains} "_[1891-their] the tracery of the ivy might be seen , now still , now stirred by the sudden flight of some little bird . [The congregation]_{4749-the congregation} consisted of here and there [a farmer with [[his]_1894-his labourers]_{1895-his labourers} , who came down from [the uplands]_{1896-the uplands} beyond [the town]_{396-the town} to worship where [[their]_{1895-his labourers} fathers]_{4439-their fathers} worshipped , and who loved [the place]_{444-the place} because [they]_{1895-his labourers} knew how much [those fathers]_{1900-those fathers} had suffered for [it]_{444-the place} , although [they]_{1895-his labourers} never troubled [themselves]_{1895-his labourers} with the reason why [they]_{1895-his labourers} left [the parish church]_{1901-the parish church}]_{1893-a farmer with his labourers , who came down from the uplands beyond the town to worship where their fathers worshipped , and who loved the place because they knew how much those fathers had suffered for it , although they never troubled themselves with the reason why they left the parish church} ; of [a few shopkeepers]_{1902-a few shopkeepers} , far more thoughtful and reasoning , who were [Dissenters from conviction , unmixed with old ancestral association]_{1903-dissenters from conviction , unmixed with old ancestral association} ; and of [one or two families of still higher worldly station]_{1904-one or two families of still higher worldly station} . With [many poor , who were drawn there by love for [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's character , and by a feeling that the faith which made [him]_{143-mr benson} what [he]_{143-mr benson} was]_{1905-many poor , who were drawn there by love for mr benson 's character , and by a feeling that the faith which made him what he was} could not be far wrong , for the base of the pyramid , and with [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} for [its]_1906-its apex , [the congregation]_{4749-the congregation} stood complete . [The country people]_{1908-the country people} came in sleeking down [their]_{1908-the country people} hair , and treading with earnest attempts at noiseless lightness of step over the floor of the aisle ; and by - and - by , when [all were assembled]_{1909-all were assembled} , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} followed , unmarshalled and unattended . When [he]_{143-mr benson} had closed the pulpit - door , and knelt in prayer for an instant or two , [he]_{143-mr benson} gave out a psalm from the dear old Scottish paraphrase , with its primitive inversion of the simple perfect Bible words ; and a kind of precentor stood up , and , having sounded the note on a pitch - pipe , sang a couple of lines by way of indicating the tune ; then [all the congregation]_{1910-all the congregation} stood up , and sang aloud , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's great bass voice being half a note in advance of the others , in accordance with [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} place of precedence as [principal member of [the congregation]_{4749-the congregation}]_{1911-principal member of the congregation} . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} powerful voice was like an organ very badly played , and very much out of tune ; but as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had no ear , and no diffidence , it pleased [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} very much to hear the fine loud sound . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [a tall , large - boned , iron man]_{1913-a tall , large - boned , iron man} ; stern , powerful , and authoritative in appearance ; dressed in clothes of the finest broadcloth , and scrupulously ill - made , as if to show that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was indifferent to all outward things . [[His]_{149-mr bradshaw} wife]_{737-his wife} was sweet and gentle - looking , but as if [she]_{737-his wife} was thoroughly broken into submission . [Ruth]_81-ruth did not see this , or hear aught but the words which were reverently -- oh , how reverently!--spoken by [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} had had [Ruth]_81-ruth present in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} thoughts all the time [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been preparing for [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} Sunday duty ; and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had tried carefully to eschew everything which [she]_81-ruth might feel as an allusion to [her]_81-ruth own case . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} remembered how [the Good Shepherd]_{168-the good shepherd} , in [Poussin]_169-poussin 's beautiful picture , tenderly carried the lambs which had wearied [themselves]_{1915-themselves} by going astray , and felt how like tenderness was required towards [poor Ruth]_81-ruth . But where is the chapter which does not contain something which a broken and contrite spirit may not apply to itself ? And so it fell out that , as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} read , [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart was smitten , and [she]_81-ruth sank down , and down , till [she]_81-ruth was kneeling on the floor of the pew , and speaking to [God]_104-leonard in the spirit , if not in the words , of [the Prodigal Son]_{1916-the prodigal son} : " [Father]_4711-father ! [I]_81-ruth have sinned against Heaven and before [Thee]_4711-father , and am no more worthy to be called [[Thy]_4711-father child]_{4921-thy child} ! "_[81-ruth] [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was thankful ( although [she]_81-ruth loved [Ruth]_81-ruth the better for this self - abandonment ) that [the minister]_{1835-the minister} 's seat was far in the shade of [the gallery]_{1238-the gallery} . [She]_81-ruth tried to look most attentive to [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} , in order that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} might not suspect anything unusual , while [she]_81-ruth stealthily took hold of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's passive hand , as it lay helpless on the cushion , and pressed it softly and tenderly . But [Ruth]_81-ruth sat on the ground , bowed down and crushed in [her]_81-ruth sorrow , till all was ended . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} loitered in [her]_81-ruth seat , divided between the consciousness that [she]_81-ruth , as _ locum tenens _ for [[the minister]_{1835-the minister} 's wife]_{1921-the minister 's wife} , was expected to be at the door to receive the kind greetings of many after [her]_81-ruth absence from [home]_4124-home , and [her]_81-ruth unwillingness to disturb [Ruth]_81-ruth , who was evidently praying , and , by [her]_81-ruth quiet breathing , receiving grave and solemn influences into [her]_81-ruth soul . At length [she]_81-ruth rose up , calm and composed even to dignity . [The chapel]_{1865-the chapel} was still and empty ; but [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} heard the buzz of voices in [the chapel - yard]_{1924-the chapel - yard} without . [They]_1925-they were probably those of people waiting for [her]_81-ruth ; and [she]_81-ruth summoned courage , and taking [Ruth]_81-ruth 's arm in [hers]_81-ruth , and holding [her]_81-ruth hand affectionately , [they]_1926-they went out into the broad daylight . As [they]_1926-they issued forth , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} heard [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's strong bass voice speaking to [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} , and winced , as [she]_81-ruth knew [he]_{982-her brother} would be wincing , under the broad praise , which is impertinence , however little it may be intended or esteemed as such . " Oh , [yes!--my wife]_{4922-yes!--my wife} told [me]_{143-mr benson} yesterday about [her]_{4922-yes!--my wife} -- [[her]_{4922-yes!--my wife} husband]_{730-her husband} was [a surgeon]_{4924-a surgeon} ; [[my]_{143-mr benson} father]_{4925-my father} was [a surgeon]_{4924-a surgeon} too , as [I]_{143-mr benson} think [you]_{143-mr benson} have heard . Very much to [your]_{143-mr benson} credit , [I]_{143-mr benson} must say , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , with [your]_{143-mr benson} limited means , to burden [yourself]_{143-mr benson} with [a poor relation]_{4927-a poor relation} . Very creditable indeed . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} glanced at [Ruth]_81-ruth ; [she]_81-ruth either did not hear or did not understand , but passed on into the awful sphere of [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's observation unmoved . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was in a bland and condescending humour of universal approval , and when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} saw [Ruth]_81-ruth , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} nodded [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} head in token of satisfaction . That ordeal was over , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} thought , and in the thought rejoiced . " After dinner , [you]_{143-mr benson} must go and lie down , [[my]_81-ruth dear]_{4145-my dear} , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , untying [Ruth]_81-ruth 's bonnet - strings , and kissing [her]_81-ruth . " [Sally]_148-sally goes to [church]_4207-church again , but [you]_{143-mr benson} wo n't mind staying alone in [the house]_{426-the house} . [I]_81-ruth am sorry [we]_4931-we have so many [people]_322-people to dinner , but [[my]_81-ruth brother]_{4794-my brother} will always have enough on Sundays for [any old or weak people , who may have come from a distance]_{4934-any old or weak people , who may have come from a distance} , to stay and dine with [us]_4931-we ; and to - day [they]_322-people all seem to have come , because it is [his]_{4794-my brother} first Sabbath at [home]_4124-home . "_[81-ruth] In this way [Ruth]_81-ruth 's first Sabbath passed over . CHAPTER XV [Mother]_4127-mother and [Child]_170-child " Here is a parcel for [you]_81-ruth , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} on the Tuesday morning . " For [me]_81-ruth ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , all sorts of rushing thoughts and hopes filling [her]_81-ruth mind , and turning [her]_81-ruth dizzy with expectation . If it had been from " [him]_{4794-my brother} , "_[81-ruth] [the new - born resolutions]_{1929-the new - born resolutions} would have had a hard struggle for existence . " It is directed ' [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , ' "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , before giving it up . " It is in [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's handwriting ; "_{[143-mr benson]} and , far more curious than [Ruth]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth awaited the untying of the close - knotted string . When the paper was opened , it displayed a whole piece of delicate cambric - muslin ; and there was a short note from [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to [Ruth]_81-ruth , saying [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} had wished [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to send this muslin in aid of any preparations [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} might have to make . [Ruth]_81-ruth said nothing , but coloured up , and sat down again to [her]_81-ruth employment . " Very fine muslin indeed , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , feeling it , and holding it up against the light , with the air of [a connoisseur]_{1931-a connoisseur} ; yet all the time [she]_81-ruth was glancing at [Ruth]_81-ruth 's grave face . [The latter]_{1745-the latter} kept silence , and showed no wish to inspect [her]_81-ruth present further . At last [she]_81-ruth said , in a low voice , " [I]_81-ruth suppose [I]_81-ruth may send it back again ? "_[81-ruth] " [[My]_81-ruth dear child]_{4936-my dear child} ! send it back to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ! [You]_{4936-my dear child} 'd offend [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} for life . [You]_{4936-my dear child} may depend upon it , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} means it as a mark of high favour ! "_[81-ruth] " What right had [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} to send it [me]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , still in [her]_81-ruth quiet voice . " What right ? [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} thinks-- [I]_81-ruth do n't know exactly what [you]_81-ruth mean by ' right . ' "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth was silent for a moment , and then said : " There are people to whom [I]_81-ruth love to feel that [I]_81-ruth owe gratitude -- gratitude which [I]_81-ruth can not express , and had better not talk about -- but [I]_81-ruth can not see why [a person whom [I]_81-ruth do not know]_{4937-a person whom i do not know} should lay [me]_81-ruth under an obligation . Oh ! do n't say [I]_81-ruth must take [this muslin]_{4938-this muslin} , please , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! "_[81-ruth] What [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} might have said if [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} had not just then entered [the room]_{357-the room} , neither [he]_{982-her brother} nor [any other person]_{1935-any other person} could tell ; but [she]_81-ruth felt [his]_{982-her brother} presence was most opportune , and called [him]_{982-her brother} in as [umpire]_1936-umpire . [He]_{982-her brother} had come hastily , for [he]_{982-her brother} had much to do ; but [he]_{982-her brother} no sooner heard the case than [he]_{982-her brother} sat down , and tried to draw some more explicit declaration of [her]_81-ruth feeling from [Ruth]_81-ruth , who had remained silent during [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's explanation . " [You]_81-ruth would rather send this present back ? "_{[982-her brother]} said [he]_{982-her brother} . " Yes , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth answered , softly . " Is it wrong ? "_[81-ruth] " Why do [you]_81-ruth want to return it ? "_[81-ruth] " Because [I]_{143-mr benson} feel as if [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had no right to offer it [me]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was silent . " It 's beautifully fine , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , still examining the piece . " [You]_81-ruth think that it is a right which must be earned ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , after a minute 's pause . " Do n't [you]_{143-mr benson} ? "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth understand what [you]_{143-mr benson} mean . It is a delight to have gifts made to [you]_4939-you by those whom [you]_4939-you esteem and love , because then such gifts are merely to be considered as fringes to the garment -- as inconsiderable additions to the mighty treasure of [their]_4940-their affection , adding a grace , but no additional value , to what before was precious , and proceeding as naturally out of that as leaves burgeon out upon the trees ; but [you]_4939-you feel it to be different when there is no regard for [the giver to idealise the gift]_{4941-the giver to idealise the gift} -- when it simply takes its stand among [your]_4939-you property as so much money 's value . Is this it , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] " [I]_{143-mr benson} think it is . [I]_{143-mr benson} never reasoned why [I]_{143-mr benson} felt as [I]_{143-mr benson} did ; [I]_{143-mr benson} only knew that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's giving [me]_{143-mr benson} a present hurt [me]_{143-mr benson} , instead of making [me]_{143-mr benson} glad . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Well , but there is another side of the case [we]_4942-we have not looked at yet -- [we]_4942-we must think of that , too . [You]_4939-you know who said , ' Do unto [others]_368-others as [ye]_4939-you would that [they]_368-others should do unto [you]_4939-you ' ? [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} may not have had that in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} mind when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} desired [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wife]_{737-his wife} to send [you]_4939-you this ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} may have been self - seeking , and only anxious to gratify [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} love of patronising -- that is the worst motive [we]_4942-we can give [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; and that would be no excuse for [your]_4939-you thinking only of [yourself]_4939-you , and returning [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} present . "_[81-ruth] " But [you]_4939-you would not have [me]_81-ruth pretend to be obliged ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . " No , [I]_81-ruth would not . [I]_81-ruth have often been similarly situated to [you]_4939-you , [Ruth]_81-ruth ; [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} has frequently opposed [me]_81-ruth on the points on which [I]_81-ruth feel the warmest -- am the most earnestly convinced . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} , no doubt , thinks [me]_81-ruth Quixotic , and often speaks of [me]_81-ruth , and to [me]_81-ruth , with great contempt when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} is angry . [I]_81-ruth suppose [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has a little fit of penitence afterwards , or perhaps [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thinks [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} can pay for ungracious speeches by a present ; so , formerly , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} invariably sent [me]_81-ruth something after these occasions . It was a time , of all others , to feel as [you]_4939-you are doing now ; but [I]_81-ruth became convinced it would be right to accept [them]_4945-them , giving only the very cool thanks which [I]_81-ruth felt . This omission of all show of much gratitude had the best effect -- the presents have much diminished ; but if the gifts have lessened , the unjustifiable speeches have decreased in still greater proportion , and [I]_81-ruth am sure [we]_4946-we respect [each other]_{579-each other} more . Take [this muslin]_{4938-this muslin} , [Ruth]_81-ruth , for the reason [I]_81-ruth named ; and thank [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} as [your]_81-ruth feelings prompt [you]_81-ruth . Overstrained expressions of gratitude always seem like an endeavour to place [the receiver of these expressions]_{4949-the receiver of these expressions} in the position of [debtor for future favours]_{4950-debtor for future favours} . But [you]_81-ruth wo n't fall into this error . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth listened to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; but [she]_81-ruth had not yet fallen sufficiently into the tone of [his]_{143-mr benson} mind to understand [him]_{143-mr benson} fully . [She]_81-ruth only felt that [he]_{143-mr benson} comprehended [her]_81-ruth better than [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who once more tried to reconcile [her]_81-ruth to [her]_81-ruth present , by calling [her]_81-ruth attention to the length and breadth thereof . " [I]_81-ruth will do what [you]_{143-mr benson} wish [me]_81-ruth , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth said , after a little pause of thoughtfulness . " May [we]_4951-we talk of something else ? "_[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw that [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's frame of mind was not particularly congenial with [Ruth]_81-ruth 's , any more than [Ruth]_81-ruth 's was with [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's ; and , putting aside all thought of returning to the business which had appeared to [him]_{143-mr benson} so important when [he]_{143-mr benson} came into [the room]_{357-the room} ( but which principally related to [himself]_{143-mr benson} ) , [he]_{143-mr benson} remained above an hour in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , interesting [them]_1940-them on subjects far removed from the present , and left [them]_1940-them at the end of that time soothed and calm . But the present gave a new current to [Ruth]_81-ruth 's ideas . [Her]_81-ruth heart was as yet too sore to speak , but [her]_81-ruth mind was crowded with plans . [She]_81-ruth asked [Sally]_148-sally to buy [her]_81-ruth ( with the money produced by the sale of a ring or two ) the coarsest linen , the homeliest dark blue print , and similar materials ; on which [she]_81-ruth set busily to work to make clothes for [herself]_81-ruth ; and as they were made , [she]_81-ruth put them on ; and as [she]_81-ruth put them on , [she]_81-ruth gave a grace to each , which such homely material and simple shaping had never had before . Then the fine linen and delicate soft white muslin , which [she]_81-ruth had chosen in preference to more expensive articles of dress when [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} had given [her]_81-ruth _ carte blanche _ in [London]_3-london , were cut into small garments , most daintily stitched and made ready for the little creature , for whom in its white purity of soul nothing could be too precious . The love which dictated this extreme simplicity and coarseness of attire , was taken for stiff , hard economy by [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} deigned to observe it . And economy by itself , without any soul or spirit in it to make it living and holy , was a great merit in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} eyes . Indeed , [Ruth]_81-ruth altogether found favour with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [Her]_81-ruth quiet manner , subdued by an internal consciousness of a deeper cause for sorrow than [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was aware of , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} interpreted into a very proper and becoming awe of [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} looked off from [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own prayers to observe how well [she]_81-ruth attended to [hers]_81-ruth at [chapel]_1864-chapel ; when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} came to any verse in the hymn relating to immortality or a future life , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} sang it unusually loud , thinking [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} should thus comfort [her]_81-ruth in [her]_81-ruth sorrow for [[her]_81-ruth deceased husband]_{1942-her deceased husband} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} desired [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to pay [her]_81-ruth every attention [she]_81-ruth could ; and even once remarked , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought [her]_81-ruth so respectable [a young person]_{1943-a young person} that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} should not object to [her]_81-ruth being asked to tea the next time [Mr]_1944-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} came . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} added , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought , indeed , [Benson]_{143-mr benson} had looked last Sunday as if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} rather hoped to get an invitation ; and it was right to encourage [the ministers]_{1945-the ministers} , and to show [them]_{1945-the ministers} respect , even though [their]_{1945-the ministers} salaries were small . The only thing against this [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} was the circumstance of [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} having married too early , and without any provision for [a family]_{1946-a family} . Though [Ruth]_81-ruth pleaded delicacy of health , and declined accompanying [Mr]_1947-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} on [their]_1948-their visit to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [she]_81-ruth still preserved [her]_81-ruth place in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} esteem ; and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had to call a little upon [her]_81-ruth " talent for fiction "_{[143-mr benson]} to spare [Ruth]_81-ruth from the infliction of further presents , in making which [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} love of patronising delighted . The yellow and crimson leaves came floating down on the still October air ; November followed , bleak and dreary ; it was more cheerful when [the earth]_{843-the earth} put on [her]_81-ruth beautiful robe of white , which covered up all the grey naked stems , and loaded the leaves of the hollies and evergreens each with its burden of feathery snow . When [Ruth]_81-ruth sank down to languor and sadness , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} trotted [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , and rummaged up every article of spare or worn - out clothing , and bringing down a variety of strange materials , [she]_81-ruth tried to interest [Ruth]_81-ruth in making them up into garments for [the poor]_{497-the poor} . But though [Ruth]_81-ruth 's fingers flew through the work , [she]_81-ruth still sighed with thought and remembrance . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was at first disappointed , and then [she]_81-ruth was angry . When [she]_81-ruth heard the low , long sigh , and saw the dreamy eyes filling with glittering tears , [she]_81-ruth would say , " What is the matter , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] in a half - reproachful tone , for the sight of suffering was painful to [her]_81-ruth ; [she]_81-ruth had done all in [her]_81-ruth power to remedy it ; and , though [she]_81-ruth acknowledged a cause beyond [her]_81-ruth reach for [Ruth]_81-ruth 's deep sorrow , and , in fact , loved and respected [her]_81-ruth all the more for these manifestations of grief , yet at the time they irritated [her]_81-ruth . Then [Ruth]_81-ruth would snatch up the dropped work , and stitch away with drooping eyes , from which the hot tears fell fast ; and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was then angry with [herself]_81-ruth , yet not at all inclined to agree with [Sally]_148-sally when [she]_81-ruth asked [[her]_81-ruth mistress]_{1274-her mistress} " why [she]_{1274-her mistress} kept ' mithering ' [the poor lass]_{4952-the poor lass} with asking [her]_{4952-the poor lass} for ever what was the matter , as if [she]_{1274-her mistress} did not know well enough . "_[81-ruth] Some element of harmony was wanting -- [some little angel of peace]_{1953-some little angel of peace} , in loving whom all hearts and natures should be drawn together , and [their]_1954-their discords hushed . [The earth]_{843-the earth} was still " hiding [her]_{1957-the pale white mother} guilty front with innocent snow , "_{[1956-a little baby]} when [a little baby]_{1956-a little baby} was laid by the side of [the pale white mother]_{1957-the pale white mother} . It was [a boy]_{1510-a boy} ; beforehand [she]_81-ruth had wished for [a girl]_{1959-a girl} , as being less likely to feel the want of [a father]_{4308-a father} -- as being what [a mother]_{1536-a mother} , worse than widowed , could most effectually shelter . But now [she]_81-ruth did not think or remember this . What it was , [she]_81-ruth would not have exchanged for [a wilderness of [girls]_1963-girls]_{1962-a wilderness of girls} . It was [her]_81-ruth own , [[her]_81-ruth darling]_{1704-her darling} , [[her]_81-ruth individual baby]_{1965-her individual baby} , already , though not an hour old , separate and sole in [her]_81-ruth heart , strangely filling up its measure with love and peace , and even hope . For here was a new , pure , beautiful , innocent life , which [she]_81-ruth fondly imagined , in that early passion of maternal love , [she]_81-ruth could guard from every touch of corrupting sin by ever watchful and most tender care . And _ [[her]_81-ruth _ mother]_{1966-her _ mother} had thought the same , most probably ; and [thousands of [others]_368-others]_{1967-thousands of others} think the same , and pray to [God]_104-leonard to purify and cleanse [their]_{1967-thousands of others} souls , that [they]_{1967-thousands of others} may be [fit guardians for [[their]_{1967-thousands of others} little children]_{1970-their little children}]_{1969-fit guardians for their little children} . Oh , how [Ruth]_81-ruth prayed , even while [she]_81-ruth was yet too weak to speak ; and how [she]_81-ruth felt the beauty and significance of the words , " [[Our]_4953-our Father]_{4954-our father} ! "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth was roused from this holy abstraction by the sound of [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's voice . It was very much as if [she]_81-ruth had been crying . " Look , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_[81-ruth] it said , softly , " [[my]_81-ruth brother]_{4794-my brother} sends [you]_81-ruth these . They are the first snowdrops in [the garden]_{783-the garden} . "_[81-ruth] And [she]_81-ruth put them on the pillow by [Ruth]_81-ruth ; [the baby]_{1144-the baby} lay on the opposite side . " Wo n't [you]_{143-mr benson} look at [him]_{1144-the baby} ? "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth ; " [he]_{1144-the baby} is so pretty ! "_[81-ruth] [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had a strange reluctance to see [him]_{1144-the baby} . To [Ruth]_81-ruth , in spite of all that had come and gone , [she]_81-ruth was reconciled -- nay , more , [she]_81-ruth was deeply attached ; but over [the baby]_{1144-the baby} there hung a cloud of shame and disgrace . [Poor little creature]_{1973-poor little creature} ! [her]_81-ruth heart was closed against it -- firmly , as [she]_81-ruth thought . But [she]_81-ruth could not resist [Ruth]_81-ruth 's low faint voice , nor [her]_81-ruth pleading eyes , and [she]_81-ruth went round to peep at [him]_{1144-the baby} as [he]_{1144-the baby} lay in [[his]_{1144-the baby} mother]_{655-his mother} 's arm , as yet [his]_{1144-the baby} shield and guard . " [Sally]_148-sally says [he]_{1144-the baby} will have black hair , [she]_148-sally thinks , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [His]_{1144-the baby} little hand is quite [a man]_{650-a man} 's , already . Just feel how firmly [he]_{1144-the baby} closes it ; "_[81-ruth] and with [her]_81-ruth own weak fingers [she]_81-ruth opened [his]_{1144-the baby} little red fist , and taking [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's reluctant hand , placed one of [her]_81-ruth fingers in [his]_{1144-the baby} grasp . [That baby - touch]_{1975-that baby - touch} called out [her]_81-ruth love ; the doors of [her]_81-ruth heart were thrown open wide for [the little infant]_{1976-the little infant} to go in and take possession . " Ah , [[my]_81-ruth darling]_{4347-my darling} ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , falling back weak and weary . " If [God]_104-leonard will but spare [you]_{4347-my darling} to [me]_81-ruth , never [mother]_4127-mother did more than [I]_81-ruth will . [I]_81-ruth have done [you]_{4347-my darling} a grievous wrong -- but , if [I]_81-ruth may but live , [I]_81-ruth will spend [my]_81-ruth life in serving [you]_{4347-my darling} ! "_[81-ruth] " And in serving [God]_104-leonard ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , with tears in [her]_81-ruth eyes . " [You]_81-ruth must not make [him]_{631-her child} into [an idol]_{4960-an idol} , or [God]_104-leonard will , perhaps , punish [you]_81-ruth through [him]_{631-her child} . "_{[143-mr benson]} A pang of affright shot through [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart at these words ; had [she]_81-ruth already sinned and made [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} into [an idol]_{4960-an idol} , and was there punishment already in store for [her]_81-ruth through [him]_{631-her child} ? But then the internal voice whispered that [God]_104-leonard was " [[Our]_1979-our Father]_{4954-our father} , "_{[104-leonard]} and that [He]_104-leonard knew [our]_1979-our frame , and knew how natural was the first outburst of [a mother]_{1536-a mother} 's love ; so , although [she]_81-ruth treasured up the warning , [she]_81-ruth ceased to affright [herself]_81-ruth for what had already gushed forth . " Now go to sleep , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , kissing [her]_81-ruth , and darkening [the room]_{357-the room} . But [Ruth]_81-ruth could not sleep ; if [her]_81-ruth heavy eyes closed , [she]_81-ruth opened them again with a start , for sleep seemed to be an enemy stealing from [her]_81-ruth the consciousness of being [a mother]_{1536-a mother} . That one thought excluded all remembrance and all anticipation , in those first hours of delight . But soon remembrance and anticipation came . There was the natural want of [the person]_{1983-the person} , who alone could take an interest similar in kind , though not in amount , to [the mother]_{618-the mother} 's . And sadness grew like [a giant in the still watches of the night]_{1985-a giant in the still watches of the night} , when [she]_81-ruth remembered that there would be [no father]_{1986-no father} to guide and strengthen [the child]_{565-the child} , and place [him]_{565-the child} in a favourable position for fighting the hard " Battle of Life . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth hoped and believed that [no one]_{517-no one} would know the sin of [[his]_{565-the child} parents]_{1989-his parents} , and that that struggle might be spared to [him]_{565-the child} . But [a father]_{4308-a father} 's powerful care and mighty guidance would never be [his]_{4308-a father} ; and then , in those hours of spiritual purification , came the wonder and the doubt of how far [the real father]_{1991-the real father} would be [the one to whom , with [her]_81-ruth desire of heaven for [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} , whatever might become of [herself]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth would wish to entrust [him]_{565-the child}]_{1992-the one to whom , with her desire of heaven for her child , whatever might become of herself , she would wish to entrust him} . Slight speeches , telling of a selfish , worldly nature , unnoticed at the time , came back upon [her]_81-ruth ear , having a new significance . [They]_1994-they told of a low standard , of impatient self - indulgence , of no acknowledgment of things spiritual and heavenly . Even while this examination was forced upon [her]_81-ruth , by the new spirit of maternity that had entered into [her]_81-ruth , and made [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's welfare supreme , [she]_81-ruth hated and reproached [herself]_81-ruth for the necessity there seemed upon [her]_81-ruth of examining and judging [the absent father of [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child}]_{1996-the absent father of her child} . And so the compelling presence that had taken possession of [her]_81-ruth wearied [her]_81-ruth into a kind of feverish slumber ; in which [she]_81-ruth dreamt that [the innocent babe that lay by [her]_81-ruth side in soft ruddy slumber]_{1998-the innocent babe that lay by her side in soft ruddy slumber} had started up into [man]_661-man 's growth , and , instead of [the pure and noble being whom [she]_81-ruth had prayed to present as [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} to " [[Our]_4963-our Father]_{4954-our father} in [heaven]_1252-heaven]_{4962-the pure and noble being whom she had prayed to present as her child to " our father in heaven} , "_[2001-he] [he]_2001-he was [a repetition of [[his]_2001-he father]_{658-his father}]_{2002-a repetition of his father} ; and , like [him]_2001-he , lured [some maiden ( who in [her]_81-ruth dream seemed strangely like [herself]_81-ruth]_{2004-some maiden ( who in her dream seemed strangely like herself} , only more utterly sad and desolate even than [she]_81-ruth ) into sin , and left [her]_81-ruth there to even a worse fate than that of suicide . For [Ruth]_81-ruth believed there was a worse . [She]_81-ruth dreamt [she]_81-ruth saw [the girl]_{1016-the girl} , wandering , lost ; and that [she]_81-ruth saw [[her]_81-ruth son]_{990-her son} in high places , prosperous -- but with more than blood on [his]_{990-her son} soul . [She]_81-ruth saw [[her]_81-ruth son]_{990-her son} dragged down by [the clinging girl]_{2008-the clinging girl} into some pit of horrors into which [she]_81-ruth dared not look , but from whence [[his]_{990-her son} father]_{658-his father} 's voice was heard , crying aloud , that in [his]_{658-his father} day and generation [he]_{658-his father} had not remembered the words of [God]_104-leonard , and that now [he]_{658-his father} was " tormented in this flame . "_{[658-his father]} Then [she]_81-ruth started in sick terror , and saw , by the dim rushlight , [Sally]_148-sally , nodding in an arm - chair by the fire ; and felt [[her]_148-sally little soft warm babe]_{2010-her little soft warm babe} , nestled up against [her]_148-sally breast , rocked by [her]_148-sally heart , which yet beat hard from the effects of the evil dream . [She]_81-ruth dared not go to sleep again , but prayed . And every time [she]_81-ruth prayed , [she]_81-ruth asked with a more complete wisdom , and a more utter and self - forgetting faith . [Little child]_{2011-little child} ! [[thy]_{2011-little child} angel]_{2012-thy angel} was with [God]_104-leonard , and drew [her]_81-ruth nearer and nearer to [Him]_104-leonard , whose face is continually beheld by [the angels of [little children]_{2014-little children}]_{2013-the angels of little children} . CHAPTER XVI [Sally]_148-sally Tells of [[Her]_148-sally Sweethearts]_{2015-her sweethearts} , and Discourses on the Duties of Life [Sally]_148-sally and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} took it in turns to sit up , or rather , [they]_2016-they took it in turns to nod by the fire ; for if [Ruth]_81-ruth was awake [she]_81-ruth lay very still in the moonlight calm of [her]_81-ruth sick bed . That time resembled a beautiful August evening , such as [I]_0-i have seen . The white , snowy rolling mist covers up under its great sheet all trees and [meadows]_2017-meadows , and tokens of [earth]_2018-earth ; but it can not rise high enough to shut out the heavens , which on such nights seem bending very near , and to be the only real and present objects ; and so near , so real and present , did heaven , and eternity , and [God]_104-leonard seem to [Ruth]_81-ruth , as [she]_81-ruth lay encircling [[her]_81-ruth mysterious holy child]_{2019-her mysterious holy child} . One night [Sally]_148-sally found out [she]_81-ruth was not asleep . " [I]_148-sally 'm a rare hand at talking [folks]_4966-folks to sleep , "_[148-sally] said [she]_148-sally . " [I]_148-sally 'll try on [thee]_81-ruth , for [thou]_81-ruth must get strength by sleeping and eating . What must [I]_148-sally talk to [thee]_81-ruth about , [I]_148-sally wonder . Shall [I]_148-sally tell [thee]_81-ruth a love story or a fairy story , such as [I]_148-sally 've telled [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan many a time and many a time , for all [[his]_161-thurstan father]_{658-his father} set [his]_161-thurstan face again fairies , and called it vain talking ; or shall [I]_148-sally tell [you]_81-ruth the dinner [I]_148-sally once cooked , when [Mr Harding]_{171-mr harding} , as was [[Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} 's sweetheart]_{4968-miss faith 's sweetheart} , came unlooked for , and [we]_4969-we 'd nought in [the house]_{426-the house} but a neck of mutton , out of which [I]_148-sally made seven dishes , all with a different name ? "_[148-sally] " Who was [Mr Harding]_{171-mr harding} ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Oh , [he]_{171-mr harding} was [a grand gentleman from [Lunnon]_38-lunnon]_{4971-a grand gentleman from lunnon} , as had seen [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} , and been struck by [her]_{164-miss faith} pretty looks when [she]_{164-miss faith} was out on a visit , and came here to ask [her]_{164-miss faith} to marry [him]_{171-mr harding} . [She]_{164-miss faith} said , ' No , [she]_{164-miss faith} would never leave [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , as could never marry ; ' but [she]_{164-miss faith} pined a deal at after [he]_161-thurstan went away . [She]_{164-miss faith} kept up afore [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , but [I]_81-ruth seed [her]_{164-miss faith} fretting , though [I]_81-ruth never let on that [I]_81-ruth did , for [I]_81-ruth thought [she]_{164-miss faith} 'd soonest get over it and be thankful at after [she]_{164-miss faith} 'd the strength to do right . However , [I]_81-ruth 've no business to be talking of [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's concerns . [I]_81-ruth 'll tell [you]_4972-you of [[my]_81-ruth own sweethearts]_{4973-my own sweethearts} and welcome , or [I]_81-ruth 'll tell [you]_4972-you of the dinner , which was the grandest thing [I]_81-ruth ever did in [my]_81-ruth life , but [I]_81-ruth thought [a Lunnoner]_{4974-a lunnoner} should never think [country folks]_{4975-country folks} knew nothing ; and , [my]_81-ruth word ! [I]_81-ruth puzzled [him]_{4974-a lunnoner} with [his]_{4974-a lunnoner} dinner . [I]_81-ruth 'm doubting whether to this day [he]_{4974-a lunnoner} knows whether what [he]_{4974-a lunnoner} was eating was fish , flesh , or fowl . Shall [I]_81-ruth tell [you]_4972-you how [I]_81-ruth managed ? "_[81-ruth] But [Ruth]_81-ruth said [she]_81-ruth would rather hear about [[Sally]_148-sally 's sweethearts]_{2020-sally 's sweethearts} , much to the disappointment of the latter , who considered the dinner by far the greatest achievement . " Well , [you]_4972-you see , [I]_148-sally do n't know as [I]_148-sally should call [them]_{2020-sally 's sweethearts} [sweethearts]_{4976-sweethearts} ; for excepting [John Rawson]_{172-john rawson} , who was shut up in [the mad - house]_{4977-the mad - house} the next week , [I]_148-sally never had what [you]_4972-you may call a downright offer of marriage but once . But [I]_148-sally had once ; and so [I]_148-sally may say [I]_148-sally had [a sweetheart]_{4978-a sweetheart} . [I]_148-sally was beginning to be afeard though , for one likes to be axed ; that 's but civility ; and [I]_148-sally remember , after [I]_148-sally had turned forty , and afore [Jeremiah Dixon]_{173-jerry dixon} had spoken , [I]_148-sally began to think [John Rawson]_{172-john rawson} had perhaps not been so very mad , and that [I]_148-sally 'd done ill to lightly [his]_{172-john rawson} offer , as [a madman]_{4979-a madman} 's , if it was to be the only one [I]_148-sally was ever to have ; [I]_148-sally do n't mean as [I]_148-sally 'd have had [him]_{172-john rawson} , but [I]_148-sally thought , if it was to come o'er again , [I]_148-sally 'd speak respectful of [him]_{172-john rawson} to [folk]_4846-folk , and say it were only [his]_{172-john rawson} way to go about on all fours , but that [he]_{172-john rawson} was [a sensible man]_{4981-a sensible man} in most things . However , [I]_148-sally 'd had [my]_148-sally laugh , and so had [others]_368-others , at [[my]_148-sally crazy lover]_{4983-my crazy lover} , and it was late now to set [him]_{172-john rawson} up as [a Solomon]_{4984-a solomon} . However , [I]_148-sally thought it would be no bad thing to be tried again ; but [I]_148-sally little thought the trial would come when it did . [You]_4985-you see , Saturday night is a leisure night in [counting - houses]_{4986-counting - houses} and such - like places , while it 's the busiest of all for [servants]_831-servants . Well ! it was a Saturday night , and [I]_148-sally 'd [my]_148-sally baize apron on , and the tails of [my]_148-sally bed - gown pinned together behind , down on [my]_148-sally knees , pipeclaying [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , when a knock comes to the back door . ' Come in ! ' says [I]_148-sally ; but it knocked again , as if it were too stately to open the door for [itself]_4989-itself ; so [I]_148-sally got up , rather cross , and opened the door ; and there stood [Jerry Dixon]_{173-jerry dixon} , [[Mr Holt]_{174-mr holt} 's head clerk]_{4990-mr holt 's head clerk} ; only [he]_{173-jerry dixon} was not [head clerk]_{4991-head clerk} then . So [I]_148-sally stood , stopping up the door , fancying [he]_{173-jerry dixon} wanted to speak to [master]_4301-master ; but [he]_{173-jerry dixon} kind of pushed past [me]_148-sally , and telling [me]_148-sally summut about the weather ( as if [I]_148-sally could not see it for [myself]_148-sally ) , [he]_{173-jerry dixon} took a chair , and sat down by the oven . ' Cool and easy ! ' thought [I]_148-sally ; meaning hisself , not [[his]_{173-jerry dixon} place]_{4993-his place} , which [I]_148-sally knew must be pretty hot . Well ! it seemed no use standing waiting for [[my]_148-sally gentleman]_{4994-my gentleman} to go ; not that [he]_{173-jerry dixon} had much to say either ; but [he]_{173-jerry dixon} kept twirling [his]_{173-jerry dixon} hat round and round , and smoothing the nap on't with the back of [his]_{173-jerry dixon} hand . So at last [I]_148-sally squatted down to [my]_148-sally work , and thinks [I]_148-sally , [I]_148-sally shall be on [my]_148-sally knees all ready if [he]_{173-jerry dixon} puts up a prayer , for [I]_148-sally knew [he]_{173-jerry dixon} was [a Methodee by bringing - up]_{4995-a methodee by bringing - up} , and had only lately turned to [master]_4301-master 's way of thinking ; and [them Methodees]_{4997-them methodees} are terrible hands at unexpected prayers when one least looks for ['em]_4998-'em . [I]_148-sally ca n't say [I]_148-sally like [their]_{4997-them methodees} way of taking one by surprise , as it were ; but then [I]_148-sally 'm [[a parish clerk]_{4896-a parish clerk} 's daughter]_{4897-a parish clerk 's daughter} , and could never demean [myself]_148-sally to dissenting fashions , always save and except [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan 's , bless [him]_{173-jerry dixon} . However , [I]_148-sally 'd been caught once or twice unawares , so this time [I]_148-sally thought [I]_148-sally 'd be up to it , and [I]_148-sally moved a dry duster wherever [I]_148-sally went , to kneel upon in case [he]_{173-jerry dixon} began when [I]_148-sally were in [a wet place]_{5001-a wet place} . By - and - by [I]_148-sally thought , if [the man]_{5002-the man} would pray it would be a blessing , for it would prevent [his]_{5002-the man} sending [his]_{5002-the man} eyes after [me]_148-sally wherever [I]_148-sally went ; for when [they]_{5002-the man} takes to praying [they]_{5002-the man} shuts [their]_{5002-the man} eyes , and quivers th ' lids in a queer kind o ' way -- [them]_{5002-the man} [Dissenters]_{5003-dissenters} does . [I]_148-sally can speak pretty plain to [you]_5004-you , for [you]_5004-you 're bred in the Church like [mysel]_148-sally ' , and must find it as out o ' the way as [I]_148-sally do to be among [dissenting folk]_{5005-dissenting folk} . God forbid [I]_148-sally should speak disrespectful of [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan and [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} , though ; [I]_148-sally never think on [them]_{5002-the man} as Church or [Dissenters]_{5003-dissenters} , but just as [Christians]_{5007-christians} . But to come back to [Jerry]_{173-jerry dixon} . First , [I]_148-sally tried always to be cleaning at [his]_{173-jerry dixon} back ; but when [he]_{173-jerry dixon} wheeled round , so as always to face [me]_148-sally , [I]_148-sally thought [I]_148-sally 'd try a different game . So , says [I]_148-sally , ' [Master Dixon]_{175-master dixon} , [I]_148-sally ax [your]_{173-jerry dixon} pardon , but [I]_148-sally must pipeclay under [your]_{173-jerry dixon} chair . Will [you]_{173-jerry dixon} please to move ? ' Well , [he]_{173-jerry dixon} moved ; and by - and - by [I]_148-sally was at [him]_{173-jerry dixon} again with the same words ; and at after that , again and again , till [he]_{173-jerry dixon} were always moving about wi ' [his]_{173-jerry dixon} chair behind [him]_{173-jerry dixon} , like a snail as carries its house on its back . And the great gaupus never seed that [I]_148-sally were pipeclaying the same places twice over . At last [I]_148-sally got desperate cross , [he]_{173-jerry dixon} were so in [my]_148-sally way ; so [I]_148-sally made two big crosses on the tails of [his]_{173-jerry dixon} brown coat ; for [you]_5008-you see , whenever [he]_{173-jerry dixon} went , up or down , [he]_{173-jerry dixon} drew out the tails of [his]_{173-jerry dixon} coat from under [him]_{173-jerry dixon} , and stuck them through the bars of the chair ; and flesh and blood could not resist pipeclaying them for [him]_{173-jerry dixon} ; and a pretty brushing [he]_{173-jerry dixon} 'd have , [I]_148-sally reckon , to get it off again . Well ! at length [he]_{173-jerry dixon} clears [his]_{173-jerry dixon} throat uncommon loud ; so [I]_148-sally spreads [my]_148-sally duster , and shuts [my]_148-sally eyes all ready ; but when nought comed of it , [I]_148-sally opened [my]_148-sally eyes a little bit to see what [he]_{173-jerry dixon} were about . [My]_148-sally word ! if there [he]_{173-jerry dixon} was n't down on [his]_{173-jerry dixon} knees right facing [me]_148-sally , staring as hard as [he]_{173-jerry dixon} could . Well ! [I]_148-sally thought it would be hard work to stand that , if [he]_{173-jerry dixon} made a long ado ; so [I]_148-sally shut [my]_148-sally eyes again , and tried to think serious , as became what [I]_148-sally fancied were coming ; but , forgive [me]_148-sally ! but [I]_148-sally thought why could n't [the fellow]_{5009-the fellow} go in and pray wi ' [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , as had always [a calm spirit ready for prayer]_{5010-a calm spirit ready for prayer} , instead o ' [me]_148-sally , who had [my]_148-sally dresser to scour , let alone an apron to iron . At last [he]_{173-jerry dixon} says , says [he]_{173-jerry dixon} , ' [Sally]_148-sally ! will [you]_148-sally oblige [me]_148-sally with [your]_148-sally hand ? ' So [I]_148-sally thought it were , maybe , [Methodee]_176-methodee fashion to pray hand in hand ; and [I]_148-sally 'll not deny but [I]_148-sally wished [I]_148-sally 'd washed it better after black - leading the kitchen fire . [I]_148-sally thought [I]_148-sally 'd better tell [him]_{173-jerry dixon} [it]_5011-it were not so clean as [I]_148-sally could wish , so says [I]_148-sally , ' [Master Dixon]_{175-master dixon} , [you]_{173-jerry dixon} shall have it , and welcome , if [I]_148-sally may just go and wash ['em]_5011-it first . ' But , says [he]_{173-jerry dixon} , ' [[My]_148-sally dear]_{4145-my dear} [Sally]_148-sally , dirty or clean it 's all the same to [me]_148-sally , seeing [I]_148-sally 'm only speaking in a figuring way . What [I]_148-sally 'm asking on [my]_148-sally bended knees is , that [you]_148-sally 'd please to be so kind as to be [[my]_148-sally wedded wife]_{5013-my wedded wife} ; week after next will suit [me]_148-sally , if it 's agreeable to [you]_148-sally ! ' [My]_148-sally word ! [I]_148-sally were up on [my]_148-sally feet in an instant ! It were odd now , were n't it ? [I]_148-sally never thought of taking [the fellow]_{5009-the fellow} , and getting married ; for all , [I]_148-sally 'll not deny , [I]_148-sally had been thinking it would be agreeable to be axed . But all at once , [I]_148-sally could n't abide [the chap]_{5015-the chap} . ' [Sir]_4181-sir , ' says [I]_148-sally , trying to look shame - faced as became the occasion , but for all that , feeling a twittering round [my]_148-sally mouth that [I]_148-sally were afeard might end in a laugh--'Master [Dixon]_{175-master dixon} , [I]_148-sally 'm obleeged to [you]_{175-master dixon} for the compliment , and thank [ye]_{175-master dixon} all the same , but [I]_148-sally think [I]_148-sally 'd prefer a single life . ' [He]_{175-master dixon} looked mighty taken aback ; but in a minute [he]_{175-master dixon} cleared up , and was as sweet as ever . [He]_{175-master dixon} still kept on [his]_{175-master dixon} knees , and [I]_148-sally wished [he]_{175-master dixon} 'd take [himself]_{175-master dixon} up ; but , [I]_148-sally reckon , [he]_{175-master dixon} thought it would give force to [his]_{175-master dixon} words ; says [he]_{175-master dixon} , ' Think again , [[my]_148-sally dear]_{4145-my dear} [Sally]_148-sally . [I]_148-sally 've [a four - roomed house]_{5018-a four - roomed house} , and furniture conformable ; and eighty pound a year . [You]_148-sally may never have such a chance again . ' There were truth enough in that , but it was not pretty in [the man]_{5002-the man} to say it ; and it put [me]_148-sally up a bit . ' As for that , neither [you]_{175-master dixon} nor [I]_148-sally can tell , [Master Dixon]_{175-master dixon} . [You]_{175-master dixon} 're not the first chap as [I]_148-sally 've had down on [his]_{175-master dixon} knees afore [me]_148-sally , axing [me]_148-sally to marry [him]_{175-master dixon} ( [you]_{175-master dixon} see [I]_148-sally were thinking of [John Rawson]_{172-john rawson} , only [I]_148-sally thought there were no need to say [he]_{172-john rawson} were on all fours -- it were truth [he]_{172-john rawson} were on [his]_{172-john rawson} knees , [you]_{175-master dixon} know ) , and maybe [you]_{175-master dixon} 'll not be the last . Anyhow , [I]_148-sally 've no wish to change [my]_148-sally condition just now . ' ' [I]_148-sally 'll wait till Christmas , ' says [he]_{175-master dixon} . ' [I]_148-sally 've a pig as will be ready for killing then , so [I]_148-sally must get married before that . ' Well now ! would [you]_{175-master dixon} believe it ? the pig were a temptation . [I]_148-sally 'd a receipt for curing hams , as [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} would never let [me]_148-sally try , saying the old way were good enough . However , [I]_148-sally resisted . Says [I]_148-sally , very stern , because [I]_148-sally felt [I]_148-sally 'd been wavering , ' [Master Dixon]_{175-master dixon} , once for all , pig or no pig , [I]_148-sally 'll not marry [you]_{175-master dixon} . And if [you]_{175-master dixon} 'll take [my]_148-sally advice , [you]_{175-master dixon} 'll get up off [your]_{175-master dixon} knees . The flags is but damp yet , and it would be an awkward thing to have rheumatiz just before winter . ' With that [he]_{175-master dixon} got up , stiff enough . [He]_{175-master dixon} looked as sulky a chap as ever [I]_148-sally clapped eyes on . And as [he]_{175-master dixon} were so black and cross , [I]_148-sally thought [I]_148-sally 'd done well ( whatever came of the pig ) to say ' No ' to [him]_{175-master dixon} . ' [You]_148-sally may live to repent this , ' says [he]_{175-master dixon} , very red . ' But [I]_148-sally 'll not be too hard upon [ye]_148-sally , [I]_148-sally 'll give [you]_148-sally another chance . [I]_148-sally 'll let [you]_148-sally have the night to think about it , and [I]_148-sally 'll just call in to hear [your]_148-sally second thoughts , after chapel to - morrow . ' Well now ! did ever [you]_148-sally hear the like ? But that is the way with [all of [them]_{5020-all of them men} men]_{5020-all of them men} , thinking so much of theirselves , and that it 's but ask and have . [They]_{5020-all of them men} 've never had [me]_148-sally , though ; and [I]_148-sally shall be sixty - one next [Martinmas]_{177-martinmas} , so there 's not much time left for [them]_{5020-all of them men} to try [me]_148-sally , [I]_148-sally reckon . Well ! when [Jeremiah]_{173-jerry dixon} said that , [he]_{175-master dixon} put [me]_148-sally up more than ever , and [I]_148-sally says , ' [My]_148-sally first thoughts , second thoughts , and third thoughts is all one and the same ; [you]_{173-jerry dixon} 've but tempted [me]_148-sally once , and that was when [you]_{173-jerry dixon} spoke of [your]_{173-jerry dixon} pig . But of [yoursel]_148-sally ' [you]_148-sally 're nothing to boast on , and so [I]_148-sally 'll bid [you]_148-sally good night , and [I]_148-sally 'll keep [my]_148-sally manners , or else , if [I]_148-sally told the truth , [I]_148-sally should say it had been a great loss of time listening to [you]_148-sally . But [I]_148-sally 'll be civil -- so good night . ' [He]_{175-master dixon} never said a word , but went off as black as thunder , slamming the door after [him]_{175-master dixon} . [The master]_{5021-the master} called [me]_148-sally in to prayers , but [I]_148-sally ca n't say [I]_148-sally could put [my]_148-sally mind to [them]_5022-them , for [my]_148-sally heart was beating so . However , it was a comfort to have had an offer of holy matrimony ; and though it flustered [me]_148-sally , it made [me]_148-sally think more of [myself]_148-sally . In the night , [I]_148-sally began to wonder if [I]_148-sally 'd not been cruel and hard to [him]_{175-master dixon} . [You]_148-sally see , [I]_148-sally were feverish - like ; and the old song of [Barbary Allen]_{178-barbary allen} would keep running in [my]_148-sally head , and [I]_148-sally thought [I]_148-sally were [Barbary]_{178-barbary allen} , and [he]_{175-master dixon} were young [Jemmy Gray]_{179-jemmy gray} , and that maybe [he]_{175-master dixon} 'd die for love of [me]_148-sally ; and [I]_148-sally pictured [him]_{175-master dixon} to [mysel]_5023-mysel ' , lying on [his]_{175-master dixon} death - bed , with [his]_{175-master dixon} face turned to the wall , ' wi ' deadly sorrow sighing , ' and [I]_148-sally could ha ' pinched [mysel]_5023-mysel ' for having been so like [cruel Barbary Allen]_{178-barbary allen} . And when [I]_148-sally got up next day , [I]_148-sally found it hard to think on the real [Jerry Dixon]_{173-jerry dixon} [I]_148-sally had seen the night before , apart from the sad and sorrowful [Jerry]_{173-jerry dixon} [I]_148-sally thought on a - dying , when [I]_148-sally were between sleeping and waking . And for many a day [I]_148-sally turned sick , when [I]_148-sally heard the passing bell , for [I]_148-sally thought it were the bell loud - knelling which were to break [my]_148-sally heart wi ' a sense of what [I]_148-sally 'd missed in saying ' No ' to [Jerry]_{173-jerry dixon} , and so killing [him]_{173-jerry dixon} with cruelty . But in less than a three week , [I]_148-sally heard parish bells a - ringing merrily for a wedding ; and in the course of a morning , [some one]_{378-some one} says to [me]_148-sally , ' Hark ! how the bells is ringing for [Jerry Dixon]_{173-jerry dixon} 's wedding ! ' And , all on a sudden , [he]_{173-jerry dixon} changed back again from [a heart - broken young fellow , like [Jemmy Gray]_{179-jemmy gray}]_{5025-a heart - broken young fellow , like jemmy gray} , into [a stout , middle - aged man]_{5026-a stout , middle - aged man} , ruddy - complexioned , with a wart on [his]_{173-jerry dixon} left cheek like life ! "_[148-sally] [Sally]_148-sally waited for some exclamation at the conclusion of [her]_148-sally tale ; but receiving none , [she]_148-sally stepped softly to the bedside , and there lay [Ruth]_81-ruth , peaceful as death , with [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} on [her]_81-ruth breast . " [I]_148-sally thought [I]_148-sally 'd lost some of [my]_148-sally gifts if [I]_148-sally could not talk a body to sleep , "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally , in a satisfied and self - complacent tone . [Youth]_180-youth is strong and powerful , and makes a hard battle against sorrow . So [Ruth]_81-ruth strove and strengthened , and [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} flourished accordingly ; and before [the little celandines]_{2023-the little celandines} were out on the hedge - banks , or the white violets had sent forth [their]_{2023-the little celandines} fragrance from the border under the south wall of [[Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's small garden]_{2024-miss benson 's small garden} , [Ruth]_81-ruth was able to carry [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} into [that sheltered place]_{2026-that sheltered place} on sunny days . [She]_81-ruth often wished to thank [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , but [she]_81-ruth did not know how to tell the deep gratitude [she]_81-ruth felt , and therefore [she]_81-ruth was silent . But [they]_2028-they understood [her]_81-ruth silence well . One day , as [she]_81-ruth watched [[her]_81-ruth sleeping child]_{2029-her sleeping child} , [she]_81-ruth spoke to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , with whom [she]_81-ruth happened to be alone . " Do [you]_{143-mr benson} know of [any cottage where [the people]_{460-the people} are clean , and where [they]_{460-the people} would not mind taking [me]_81-ruth in]_{5027-any cottage where the people are clean , and where they would not mind taking me in} ? "_[81-ruth] asked [she]_81-ruth . " Taking [you]_{143-mr benson} in ! What do [you]_{143-mr benson} mean ? "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , dropping [her]_81-ruth knitting , in order to observe [Ruth]_81-ruth more closely . " [I]_81-ruth mean , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , " where [I]_81-ruth might lodge with [[my]_81-ruth baby]_{5029-my baby} -- [any very poor place]_{5030-any very poor place} would do , only [it]_{5030-any very poor place} must be clean , or [he]_{5029-my baby} might be ill . "_[81-ruth] " And what in [the world]_{506-the world} do [you]_{143-mr benson} want to go and lodge in [a cottage]_{5032-a cottage} for ? "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , indignantly . [Ruth]_81-ruth did not lift up [her]_81-ruth eyes , but [she]_81-ruth spoke with a firmness which showed that [she]_81-ruth had considered the subject . " [I]_81-ruth think [I]_81-ruth could make dresses . [I]_81-ruth know [I]_81-ruth did not learn as much as [I]_81-ruth might , but perhaps [I]_81-ruth might do for [servants]_831-servants , and [people who are not particular]_{5034-people who are not particular} . "_[81-ruth] " [Servants]_831-servants are as particular as [any one]_{425-any one} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , glad to lay hold of the first objection that [she]_81-ruth could . " Well ! [somebody who would be patient with [me]_81-ruth]_{5037-somebody who would be patient with me} , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [Nobody]_5038-nobody is [patient over an ill - fitting gown]_{5039-patient over an ill - fitting gown} , "_[81-ruth] put in [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " There 's the stuff spoilt , and what not ! "_[81-ruth] " Perhaps [I]_81-ruth could find plain work to do , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , very meekly . " That [I]_81-ruth can do very well ; [mamma]_4143-mamma taught [me]_81-ruth , and [I]_81-ruth liked to learn from [her]_4143-mamma . If [you]_{143-mr benson} would be so good , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [you]_{143-mr benson} might tell [people]_322-people [I]_81-ruth could do plain work very neatly , and punctually , and cheaply . "_[81-ruth] " [You]_{143-mr benson} 'd get sixpence a day , perhaps , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , " and who would take care of [baby]_4477-baby , [I]_{143-mr benson} should like to know ? Prettily [he]_4477-baby 'd be neglected , would not [he]_4477-baby ? Why , [he]_4477-baby 'd have the croup and the typhus fever in no time , and be burnt to ashes after . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_2030-he have thought of all . Look how [he]_2030-he sleeps ! Hush , [darling]_4344-darling ; "_[2030-he] for just at this point [he]_2030-he began to cry , and to show [his]_2030-he determination to be awake , as if in contradiction to [[his]_2030-he mother]_{655-his mother} 's words . [Ruth]_81-ruth took [him]_2030-he up , and carried [him]_2030-he about [the room]_{357-the room} while [she]_81-ruth went on speaking . " Yes , just now [I]_81-ruth know [he]_2030-he will not sleep ; but very often [he]_2030-he will , and in the night [he]_2030-he always does . "_[81-ruth] " And so [you]_2030-he 'd work in the night and kill [yourself]_2030-he , and leave [[your]_2030-he poor baby]_{5044-your poor baby} [an orphan]_{4231-an orphan} . [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm ashamed of [you]_81-ruth . Now , [brother]_4681-brother "_{[143-mr benson]} ( [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had just come in ) , " is not this too bad of [Ruth]_81-ruth ; here [she]_81-ruth is planning to go away and leave [us]_5047-us , just as [we]_5047-us -- as [I]_{143-mr benson} , at least , have grown so fond of [baby]_4477-baby , and [he]_2030-he 's beginning to know [me]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Where were [you]_81-ruth thinking of going to , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_{[143-mr benson]} interrupted [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , with mild surprise . " Anywhere to be near [you]_81-ruth and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; in [any poor cottage where [I]_{143-mr benson} might lodge very cheaply , and earn [my]_{143-mr benson} livelihood by taking in plain sewing , and perhaps a little dressmaking]_{5049-any poor cottage where i might lodge very cheaply , and earn my livelihood by taking in plain sewing , and perhaps a little dressmaking} ; and where [I]_{143-mr benson} could come and see [you]_81-ruth and dear [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} sometimes and bring [baby]_4477-baby . "_{[143-mr benson]} " If [he]_4477-baby was not dead before then of some fever , or burn , or scald , [poor neglected child]_{5051-poor neglected child} ; or [you]_81-ruth had not worked [yourself]_81-ruth to death with never sleeping , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} thought a minute or two , and then [he]_{143-mr benson} spoke to [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Whatever [you]_81-ruth may do when [this little fellow]_{5052-this little fellow} is a year old , and able to dispense with some of [a mother]_{1536-a mother} 's care , let [me]_{143-mr benson} beg [you]_81-ruth , [Ruth]_81-ruth , as a favour to [me]_{143-mr benson} -- as a still greater favour to [[my]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{5054-my sister} , is it not , [Faith]_{164-miss faith} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes ; [you]_{143-mr benson} may put it so if [you]_81-ruth like . "_{[143-mr benson]} " To stay with [us]_5055-we , "_{[143-mr benson]} continued [he]_{143-mr benson} , " till then . When [baby]_4477-baby is twelve months old , [we]_5055-we 'll talk about it again , and very likely before then some opening may be shown [us]_5055-we . Never fear leading an idle life , [Ruth]_81-ruth . [We]_5055-we 'll treat [you]_81-ruth as [a daughter]_{5057-a daughter} , and set [you]_81-ruth all the household tasks ; and it is not for [your]_81-ruth sake that [we]_5055-we ask [you]_81-ruth to stay , but for [this little dumb helpless child]_{5058-this little dumb helpless child} 's ; and it is not for [our]_5055-we sake that [you]_81-ruth must stay , but for [his]_{5058-this little dumb helpless child} . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Ruth]_81-ruth was sobbing . " [I]_81-ruth do not deserve [your]_{143-mr benson} kindness , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , in a broken voice ; " [I]_81-ruth do not deserve it . "_[81-ruth] [Her]_81-ruth tears fell fast and soft like summer rain , but no further word was spoken . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} quietly passed on to make the inquiry for which [he]_{143-mr benson} had entered [the room]_{357-the room} . But when there was nothing to decide upon , and no necessity for entering upon any new course of action , [Ruth]_81-ruth 's mind relaxed from its strung - up state . [She]_81-ruth fell into trains of reverie , and mournful regretful recollections which rendered [her]_81-ruth languid and tearful . This was noticed both by [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Sally]_148-sally , and as [each]_2034-each had keen sympathies , and felt depressed when [they]_2034-each saw [any one near [them]_2034-each]_{2035-any one near them} depressed , and as [each]_2034-each , without much reasoning on the cause or reason for such depression , felt irritated at the uncomfortable state into which [they]_2034-each themselves were thrown , [they]_2034-each both resolved to speak to [Ruth]_81-ruth on the next fitting occasion . Accordingly , one afternoon -- the morning of that day had been spent by [Ruth]_81-ruth in [housework]_{2037-housework} , for [she]_81-ruth had insisted on [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's words , and had taken [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's share of the more active and fatiguing household duties , but [she]_81-ruth went through them heavily , and as if [her]_81-ruth heart was far away -- in the afternoon when [she]_81-ruth was nursing [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} , [Sally]_148-sally , on coming into [the back parlour]_{4417-the back parlour} , found [her]_81-ruth there alone , and easily detected the fact that [she]_81-ruth had been crying . " Where 's [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ? "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally , gruffly . " Gone out with [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , "_[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]_81-ruth , with an absent sadness in [her]_81-ruth voice and manner . [Her]_81-ruth tears , scarce checked while [she]_81-ruth spoke , began to fall afresh ; and as [Sally]_148-sally stood and gazed [she]_148-sally saw [the babe]_{2040-the babe} look back in [[his]_{2040-the babe} mother]_{655-his mother} 's face , and [his]_{2040-the babe} little lip begin to quiver , and [his]_{2040-the babe} open blue eye to grow over - clouded , as with some mysterious sympathy with the sorrowful face bent over [him]_{2040-the babe} . [Sally]_148-sally took [him]_{2040-the babe} briskly from [[his]_{2040-the babe} mother]_{655-his mother} 's arms ; [Ruth]_81-ruth looked up in grave surprise , for in truth [she]_81-ruth had forgotten [Sally]_148-sally 's presence , and the suddenness of the motion startled [her]_81-ruth . " [[My]_81-ruth bonny boy]_{5059-my bonny boy} ! are [they]_5060-they letting the salt tears drop on [thy]_{5059-my bonny boy} sweet face before [thou'rt]_{5059-my bonny boy} weaned ! [Little somebody]_{5061-little somebody} knows how to be [a mother]_{1536-a mother} -- [I]_81-ruth could make a better [myself]_81-ruth . ' Dance , thumbkin , dance -- dance , [ye merry men every one]_{5063-ye merry men every one} . ' Aye , that 's it ! smile , [[my]_81-ruth pretty]_{5064-my pretty} . [Any one but a child]_{5065-any one but a child} like [thee]_{5059-my bonny boy} , "_[81-ruth] continued [she]_81-ruth , turning to [Ruth]_81-ruth , " would have known better than to bring ill - luck on [thy]_{5059-my bonny boy} babby by letting tears fall on its face before it was weaned . But thou'rt not fit to have [a babby]_{4860-a babby} , and so [I]_81-ruth 've said many a time . [I]_81-ruth 've a great mind to buy [thee]_{5059-my bonny boy} a doll , and take [thy]_{5059-my bonny boy} babby mysel ' . "_[81-ruth] [Sally]_148-sally did not look at [Ruth]_81-ruth , for [she]_148-sally was too much engaged in amusing [the baby]_{1144-the baby} with the tassel of the string to the window - blind , or else [she]_148-sally would have seen the dignity which [the mother]_{618-the mother} 's soul put into [Ruth]_81-ruth at that moment . [Sally]_148-sally was quelled into silence by the gentle composure , the self - command over [her]_148-sally passionate sorrow , which gave to [Ruth]_81-ruth an unconscious grandeur of demeanour as [she]_148-sally came up to [the old servant]_{782-the old servant} . " Give [him]_{1144-the baby} back to [me]_148-sally , please . [I]_148-sally did not know it brought ill - luck , or if [my]_148-sally heart broke [I]_148-sally would not have let a tear drop on [his]_{1144-the baby} face -- [I]_148-sally never will again . Thank [you]_148-sally , [Sally]_148-sally , "_[148-sally] as [the servant]_{692-the servant} relinquished [him]_{1144-the baby} to [her]_148-sally who came in the name of [a mother]_{1536-a mother} . [Sally]_148-sally watched [Ruth]_81-ruth 's grave , sweet smile , as [she]_148-sally followed up [Sally]_148-sally 's play with the tassel , and imitated , with all the docility inspired by love , every movement and sound which had amused [[her]_148-sally babe]_{2048-her babe} . " [Thou'lt]_5067-thou be [a mother]_{1536-a mother} , after all , "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally , with a kind of admiration of the control which [Ruth]_81-ruth was exercising over [herself]_81-ruth . " But why talk of [thy]_81-ruth heart breaking ? [I]_81-ruth do n't question [thee]_81-ruth about what 's past and gone ; but now [thou'rt]_5067-thou wanting for nothing , nor [[thy]_81-ruth child]_{4921-thy child} either ; the time to come is [the Lord]_{4327-the lord} 's , and in [His]_{4327-the lord} hands ; and yet [thou]_5067-thou goest about a - sighing and a - moaning in a way that [I]_81-ruth ca n't stand or thole . "_[81-ruth] " What do [I]_81-ruth do wrong ? "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth ; " [I]_81-ruth try to do all [I]_81-ruth can . "_[81-ruth] " Yes , in a way , "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally , puzzled to know how to describe [her]_81-ruth meaning . " [Thou]_5067-thou dost it -- but there 's a right and a wrong way of setting about everything -- and to [my]_148-sally thinking , the right way is to take a thing up heartily , if it is only making a bed . Why ! dear ah [me]_148-sally , making a bed may be done after a Christian fashion , [I]_148-sally take it , or else what 's to come of such as [me]_148-sally in [heaven]_1252-heaven , who 've had little enough time on [earth]_2018-earth for clapping [ourselves]_{5073-ourselves} down on [our]_{5073-ourselves} knees for set prayers ? When [I]_148-sally was [a girl]_{1959-a girl} , and wretched enough about [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , and the crook on [his]_161-thurstan back which came of the fall [I]_148-sally gave [him]_161-thurstan , [I]_148-sally took to praying and sighing , and giving up [the world]_{506-the world} ; and [I]_148-sally thought it were wicked to care for the flesh , so [I]_148-sally made heavy puddings , and was careless about dinner and [the rooms]_{1057-the rooms} , and thought [I]_148-sally was doing [my]_148-sally duty , though [I]_148-sally did call [myself]_148-sally [a miserable sinner]_{5077-a miserable sinner} . But one night , [the old missus]_{5078-the old missus} ( [[Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan 's mother]_{5079-master thurstan 's mother} ) came in , and sat down by [me]_148-sally , as [I]_148-sally was a - scolding [myself]_148-sally , without thinking of what [I]_148-sally was saying ; and , says [she]_{5078-the old missus} , ' [Sally]_148-sally ! what are [you]_148-sally blaming [yourself]_148-sally about , and groaning over ? [We]_5080-we hear [you]_148-sally in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} every night , and it makes [my]_148-sally heart ache . ' ' Oh , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , ' says [I]_148-sally , ' [I]_148-sally 'm [a miserable sinner]_{5077-a miserable sinner} , and [I]_148-sally 'm travailing in the new birth . ' ' Was that the reason , ' says [she]_{5078-the old missus} , ' why the pudding was so heavy to - day ? ' ' Oh , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , ' said [I]_148-sally , ' if [you]_4148-ma'am would not think of the things of the flesh , but trouble [yourself]_4148-ma'am about [your]_4148-ma'am immortal soul . ' And [I]_148-sally sat a - shaking [my]_148-sally head to think about [her]_{5078-the old missus} soul . ' But , ' says [she]_{5078-the old missus} , in [her]_{5078-the old missus} sweet - dropping voice , ' [I]_148-sally do try to think of [my]_148-sally soul every hour of the day , if by that [you]_148-sally mean trying to do the will of [God]_104-leonard , but [we]_5086-we 'll talk now about the pudding ; [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan could not eat it , and [I]_148-sally know [you]_148-sally 'll be sorry for that . ' Well ! [I]_148-sally was sorry , but [I]_148-sally did n't choose to say so , as [she]_{5078-the old missus} seemed to expect [me]_148-sally ; so says [I]_148-sally , ' It 's a pity to see [children]_{1146-children} brought up to care for things of the flesh ; ' and then [I]_148-sally could have bitten [my]_148-sally tongue out , for [the missus]_{5088-the missus} looked so grave , and [I]_148-sally thought of [[my]_148-sally darling little lad]_{5089-my darling little lad} pining for want of [his]_{5089-my darling little lad} food . At last , says [she]_{5078-the old missus} , ' [Sally]_148-sally , do [you]_148-sally think [God]_104-leonard has put [us]_5090-us into [the world]_{506-the world} just to be selfish , and do nothing but see after [our]_5090-us own souls ? or to help [one another]_{1373-one another} with heart and hand , as [Christ]_181-christ did to [all who wanted help]_{5093-all who wanted help} ? ' [I]_148-sally was silent , for , [you]_148-sally see , [she]_{5078-the old missus} puzzled [me]_148-sally . So [she]_{5078-the old missus} went on , ' What is that beautiful answer in [your]_148-sally Church catechism , [Sally]_148-sally ? ' [I]_148-sally were pleased to hear [a Dissenter]_{5094-a dissenter} , as [I]_148-sally did not think would have done it , speak so knowledgeably about the catechism , and [she]_{5078-the old missus} went on : ' "_[148-sally] to do [my]_0-i duty in that station of life unto which it shall please [God]_104-leonard to call [me]_0-i ; " well , [your]_148-sally station is [a servant]_{5095-a servant} , and it is as honourable as [a king]_{5096-a king} 's , if [you]_148-sally look at it right ; [you]_148-sally are to help and serve [others]_368-others in one way , just as [a king]_{5096-a king} is to help [others]_368-others in another . Now what way are [you]_148-sally to help and serve , or to do [your]_148-sally duty , in that station of life unto which it has pleased [God]_104-leonard to call [you]_148-sally ? Did it answer [God]_104-leonard 's purpose , and serve [Him]_104-leonard , when the food was unfit for [a child]_{556-a child} to eat , and unwholesome for [any one]_{425-any one} ? ' Well ! [I]_148-sally would not give it up , [I]_148-sally was so pig - headed about [my]_148-sally soul ; so says [I]_148-sally , ' [I]_148-sally wish [folks]_4966-folks would be content with locusts and wild honey , and leave [other folks]_{4835-other folks} in peace to work out [their]_{4835-other folks} salvation ; ' and [I]_148-sally groaned out pretty loud to think of [missus]_5104-missus 's soul . [I]_148-sally often think since [she]_148-sally smiled a bit at [me]_148-sally ; but [she]_148-sally said , ' Well , [Sally]_148-sally , to - morrow , [you]_148-sally shall have time to work out [your]_148-sally salvation ; but as [we]_5105-we have no locusts in [England]_21-england , and [I]_148-sally do n't think [they]_4966-folks 'd agree with [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan if [we]_5105-we had , [I]_148-sally will come and make the pudding ; but [I]_148-sally shall try and do it well , not only for [him]_161-thurstan to like it , but because everything may be done in a right way or a wrong ; the right way is to do it as well as [we]_5105-we can , as in [God]_104-leonard 's sight ; the wrong is to do it in a self - seeking spirit , which either leads [us]_5105-we to neglect it to follow out some device of [our]_5105-we own for [our]_5105-we own ends , or to give up too much time and thought to it both before and after the doing . ' Well ! [I]_148-sally thought of all [old missus]_{5106-old missus} 's words this morning , when [I]_148-sally saw [you]_148-sally making the beds . [You]_148-sally sighed so , [you]_148-sally could not half shake the pillows ; [your]_148-sally heart was not in [your]_148-sally work ; and yet it was the duty [God]_104-leonard had set [you]_148-sally , [I]_148-sally reckon ; [I]_148-sally know it 's not the work [parsons]_5107-they preach about ; though [I]_148-sally do n't think [they]_5107-they go so far off the mark when [they]_5107-they read , ' whatsoever [thy]_5107-they hand findeth to do , that do with all [thy]_5107-they might . ' Just try for a day to think of all the odd jobs as has to be done well and truly as in [God]_104-leonard 's sight , not just slurred over anyhow , and [you]_148-sally 'll go through them twice as cheerfully , and have no thought to spare for sighing or crying . "_[148-sally] [Sally]_148-sally bustled off to set on the kettle for tea , and felt half ashamed , in the quiet of [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , to think of the oration [she]_148-sally had made in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} . But [she]_148-sally saw with much satisfaction , that henceforward [Ruth]_81-ruth nursed [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} with a vigour and cheerfulness that were reflected back from [him]_{2051-her boy} ; and the household work was no longer performed with a languid indifference , as if life and duty were distasteful . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had [her]_81-ruth share in this improvement , though [Sally]_148-sally placidly took all the credit to [herself]_148-sally . One day as [she]_81-ruth and [Ruth]_81-ruth sat together , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} spoke of [the child]_{565-the child} , and thence went on to talk about [her]_81-ruth own childhood . By degrees [they]_2053-they spoke of education , and the book - learning that forms one part of it ; and the result was that [Ruth]_81-ruth determined to get up early all through the bright summer mornings , to acquire the knowledge hereafter to be given to [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} . [Her]_81-ruth mind was uncultivated , [her]_81-ruth reading scant ; beyond the mere mechanical arts of education [she]_81-ruth knew nothing ; but [she]_81-ruth had a refined taste , and excellent sense and judgment to separate the true from the false . With these qualities , [she]_81-ruth set to work under [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's directions . [She]_81-ruth read in the early morning the books that [he]_{143-mr benson} marked out ; [she]_81-ruth trained [herself]_81-ruth with strict perseverance to do all thoroughly ; [she]_81-ruth did not attempt to acquire any foreign language , although [her]_81-ruth ambition was to learn Latin , in order to teach it to [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} . Those summer mornings were happy , for [she]_81-ruth was learning neither to look backwards nor forwards , but to live faithfully and earnestly in the present . [She]_81-ruth rose while the hedge - sparrow was yet singing [his]_{143-mr benson} _ réveillé _ to [[his]_{143-mr benson} mate]_{2056-his mate} ; [she]_81-ruth dressed and opened [her]_81-ruth window , shading the soft - blowing air and the sunny eastern light from [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} . If [she]_81-ruth grew tired , [she]_81-ruth went and looked at [him]_{4737-her baby} , and all [her]_81-ruth thoughts were holy prayers for [him]_{4737-her baby} . Then [she]_81-ruth would gaze awhile out of the high upper window on to [the moorlands]_{2058-the moorlands} , that swelled in waves one behind the other , in the grey , cool morning light . These were [her]_81-ruth occasional relaxations , and after them [she]_81-ruth returned with strength to [her]_81-ruth work . CHAPTER XVII [Leonard]_104-leonard 's Christening In [that body of [Dissenters]_{5003-dissenters} to which [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} belonged]_{2059-that body of dissenters to which mr benson belonged} , it is not considered necessary to baptize [infants]_2061-infants as early as the ceremony can be performed ; and many circumstances concurred to cause the solemn thanksgiving and dedication of [the child]_{565-the child} ( for so [these Dissenters]_{2063-these dissenters} look upon christenings ) to be deferred until it was probably somewhere about six months old . There had been many conversations in [the little sitting - room]_{2064-the little sitting - room} between [the brother and sister]_{1648-the brother and sister} and [their]_{1648-the brother and sister} _ protegée _ , which had consisted more of questions betraying a thoughtful wondering kind of ignorance on the part of [Ruth]_81-ruth , and answers more suggestive than explanatory from [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; while [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} kept up a kind of running commentary , always simple and often quaint , but with that intuition into the very heart of all things truly religious which is often the gift of [those who seem , at first sight , to be only affectionate and sensible]_{2066-those who seem , at first sight , to be only affectionate and sensible} . When [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had explained [his]_{143-mr benson} own views of what a christening ought to be considered , and , by calling out [Ruth]_81-ruth 's latent feelings into pious earnestness , brought [her]_81-ruth into a right frame of mind , [he]_{143-mr benson} felt that [he]_{143-mr benson} had done what [he]_{143-mr benson} could to make the ceremony more than a mere form , and to invest it , quiet , humble , and obscure as it must necessarily be in outward shape -- mournful and anxious as much of its antecedents had rendered it -- with the severe grandeur of an act done in faith and truth . It was not far to carry [the little one]_{2067-the little one} , for , as [I]_0-i said , [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel} almost adjoined [[the minister]_{1835-the minister} 's house]_{1836-the minister 's house} . The whole procession was to have consisted of [Mr]_2071-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [Ruth]_81-ruth carrying [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} , and [Sally]_148-sally , who felt [herself]_148-sally , as [a Church - of - England woman]_{2073-a church - of - england woman} , to be condescending and kind in requesting leave to attend a baptism among " [them Dissenters]_{5108-them dissenters} ; "_[148-sally] but unless [she]_148-sally had asked permission , [she]_148-sally would not have been desired to attend , so careful was the habit of [[her]_148-sally master]_{1699-her master} and [mistress]_{2075-mistress} that [she]_148-sally should be allowed that freedom which [they]_2076-they claimed for [themselves]_2076-they . But [they]_2076-they were glad [she]_148-sally wished to go ; [they]_2076-they liked the feeling that [all were of one household]_{2077-all were of one household} , and that the interests of one were the interests of all . It produced a consequence , however , which [they]_2076-they did not anticipate . [Sally]_148-sally was full of the event which [her]_148-sally presence was to sanction , and , as it were , to redeem from the character of being utterly schismatic ; [she]_148-sally spoke about it with an air of patronage to three or four , and among [them]_2076-they to [some of [the servants at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's]_{2079-the servants at mr bradshaw 's}]_{2078-some of the servants at mr bradshaw 's} . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was rather surprised to receive a call from [Jemima Bradshaw]_217-jemima , on the very morning of the day on which [little Leonard]_104-leonard was to be baptized ; [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was rosy and breathless with eagerness . Although [the second in [the family]_{693-the family}]_{2080-the second in the family} , [she]_148-sally had been at [school]_680-school when [[her]_148-sally younger sisters]_{2083-her younger sisters} had been christened , and [she]_148-sally was now come , in the full warmth of [a girl]_{1959-a girl} 's fancy , to ask if [she]_148-sally might be present at the afternoon 's service . [She]_148-sally had been struck with [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's grace and beauty at the very first sight , when [she]_148-sally had accompanied [[her]_148-sally mother]_{710-her mother} to call upon [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} on [their]_{157-the bensons} return from [Wales]_22-wales ; and had kept up an enthusiastic interest in [the widow]_{2086-the widow} only a little older than [herself]_148-sally , whose very reserve and retirement but added to [her]_148-sally unconscious power of enchantment . " Oh , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! [I]_{143-mr benson} never saw a christening ; [papa]_4310-papa says [I]_{143-mr benson} may go , if [you]_{143-mr benson} think [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} would not dislike it ; and [I]_{143-mr benson} will be quite quiet , and sit up behind the door , or anywhere ; and [that sweet little baby]_{5110-that sweet little baby} ! [I]_{143-mr benson} should so like to see [him]_{5110-that sweet little baby} christened ; is [he]_{5110-that sweet little baby} to be called [Leonard]_104-leonard , did [you]_{143-mr benson} say ? After [Mr Denbigh]_{183-mr denbigh} , is it ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " No -- not exactly , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , rather discomfited . " Was not [Mr Denbigh]_{183-mr denbigh} 's name [Leonard]_104-leonard , then ? [Mamma]_113-mamma thought it would be sure to be called after [him]_{5110-that sweet little baby} , and so did [I.]_113-mamma But [I]_{143-mr benson} may come to the christening , may [I]_{143-mr benson} not , dear [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} gave [her]_2087-her consent with a little inward reluctance . Both [[her]_2087-her brother]_{982-her brother} and [Ruth]_81-ruth shared in this feeling , although [no one]_{517-no one} expressed it ; and it was presently forgotten . [Jemima]_217-jemima stood grave and quiet in [the old - fashioned vestry adjoining [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel}]_{2090-the old - fashioned vestry adjoining the chapel} , as [they]_2092-they entered with steps subdued to slowness . [She]_2087-her thought [Ruth]_81-ruth looked so pale and awed because [she]_81-ruth was left [a solitary parent]_{2093-a solitary parent} ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth came to the presence of [God]_104-leonard , as one who had gone astray , and doubted [her]_81-ruth own worthiness to be called [[His]_104-leonard child]_{4766-his child} ; [she]_81-ruth came as [a mother who had incurred a heavy responsibility]_{2095-a mother who had incurred a heavy responsibility} , and who entreated [His]_104-leonard almighty aid to enable [her]_81-ruth to discharge it ; full of passionate , yearning love which craved for more faith in [God]_104-leonard , to still [her]_81-ruth distrust and fear of the future that might hang over [[her]_81-ruth darling]_{1704-her darling} . When [she]_81-ruth thought of [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} , [she]_81-ruth sickened and trembled ; but when [she]_81-ruth heard of [God]_104-leonard 's loving - kindness , far beyond all tender [mother]_4127-mother 's love , [she]_81-ruth was hushed into peace and prayer . There [she]_81-ruth stood , [her]_81-ruth fair pale cheek resting on [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} 's head , as [he]_{4737-her baby} slumbered on [her]_81-ruth bosom ; [her]_81-ruth eyes went slanting down under their half - closed white lids ; but [their]_2100-their gaze was not on [the primitive cottage - like room]_{2101-the primitive cottage - like room} , it was earnestly fixed on a dim mist , through which [she]_81-ruth fain would have seen the life that lay before [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} ; but the mist was still and dense , too thick a veil for anxious human love to penetrate . The future was hid with [God]_104-leonard . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} stood right under the casement window that was placed high up in [the room]_{357-the room} ; [he]_{143-mr benson} was almost in shade , except for one or two marked lights which fell on hair already silvery white ; [his]_{143-mr benson} voice was always low and musical when [he]_{143-mr benson} spoke to [few]_2104-few ; it was too weak to speak so as to be heard by [many]_652-many without becoming harsh and strange ; but now it filled [the little room]_{2106-the little room} with a loving sound , like the stock - dove 's brooding murmur over [[her]_81-ruth young]_{2107-her young} . [He]_{143-mr benson} and [Ruth]_81-ruth forgot all in [their]_2100-their earnestness of thought ; and when [he]_{143-mr benson} said " Let [us]_2100-their pray , "_{[143-mr benson]} and [the little congregation]_{2108-the little congregation} knelt down , [you]_2109-you might have heard [the baby]_{1144-the baby} 's faint breathing , scarcely sighing out upon the stillness , so absorbed were all in the solemnity . But the prayer was long ; thought followed thought , and fear crowded upon fear , and all were to be laid bare before [God]_104-leonard , and [His]_104-leonard aid and counsel asked . Before the end [Sally]_148-sally had shuffled quietly out of [the vestry]_{2111-the vestry} into [the green chapel - yard]_{2112-the green chapel - yard} , upon which the door opened . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was alive to this movement , and so full of curiosity as to what it might mean that [she]_148-sally could no longer attend to [[her]_148-sally brother]_{982-her brother} , and felt inclined to rush off and question [Sally]_148-sally the moment all was ended . [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} hung about [the babe]_{2040-the babe} and [Ruth]_81-ruth , and begged to be allowed to carry [the child]_{565-the child} [home]_4124-home , but [Ruth]_81-ruth pressed [him]_{565-the child} to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , as if there was no safe harbour for [him]_{565-the child} but in [[his]_{565-the child} mother]_{655-his mother} 's breast . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} feeling , and caught [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's look of disappointment . " Come [home]_4124-home with [us]_5112-us , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , " and stay to tea . [You]_{151-mrs bradshaw} have never drank tea with [us]_5112-us since [you]_{151-mrs bradshaw} went to [school]_680-school . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} wish [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} might , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , colouring with pleasure . " But [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} must ask [papa]_4310-papa . May [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} run [home]_4124-home and ask ? "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} " To be sure , [[my]_217-jemima dear]_{4145-my dear} ! "_[217-jemima] [Jemima]_217-jemima flew off ; and fortunately [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} was at [home]_4124-home ; for [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} 's permission would have been deemed insufficient . [She]_217-jemima received many directions about [her]_217-jemima behaviour . " Take no sugar in [your]_217-jemima tea , [Jemima]_217-jemima . [I]_217-jemima am sure [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} ought not to be able to afford sugar , with [their]_{157-the bensons} means . And do not eat much ; [you]_217-jemima can have plenty at [home]_4124-home on [your]_217-jemima return ; remember [[Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's keep]_{5118-mrs denbigh 's keep} must cost [them]_{157-the bensons} a great deal . "_[217-jemima] So [Jemima]_217-jemima returned considerably sobered , and very much afraid of [her]_217-jemima hunger leading [her]_217-jemima to forget [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's poverty . Meanwhile [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Sally]_148-sally , acquainted with [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's invitation to [Jemima]_217-jemima , set about making some capital tea - cakes on which [they]_2121-they piqued [themselves]_2121-they . [They]_2121-they both enjoyed the offices of hospitality ; and were glad to place some home - made tempting dainty before [[their]_2121-they guests]_{2122-their guests} . " What made [ye]_148-sally leave [the chapel - vestry]_{5119-the chapel - vestry} before [[my]_{143-mr benson} brother]_{4794-my brother} had ended ? "_{[143-mr benson]} inquired [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Indeed , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [I]_{143-mr benson} thought [master]_4301-master had prayed so long [he]_{4794-my brother} 'd be drouthy . So [I]_{143-mr benson} just slipped out to put on the kettle for tea . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was on the point of reprimanding [her]_148-sally for thinking of anything besides the object of the prayer , when [she]_148-sally remembered how [she]_148-sally [herself]_148-sally had been unable to attend after [Sally]_148-sally 's departure for wondering what had become of [her]_148-sally ; so [she]_148-sally was silent . It was a disappointment to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's kind and hospitable expectation when [Jemima]_217-jemima , as hungry as a hound , confined [herself]_217-jemima to one piece of the cake which [[her]_217-jemima hostess]_{2123-her hostess} had had such pleasure in making . And [Jemima]_217-jemima wished [she]_217-jemima had not a prophetic feeling all tea - time of the manner in which [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} would inquire into the particulars of the meal , elevating [his]_{411-her father} eyebrows at every viand named beyond plain bread - and - butter , and winding up with some such sentence as this : " Well , [I]_148-sally marvel how , with [Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's salary , [he]_{143-mr benson} can afford to keep such a table . "_[148-sally] [Sally]_148-sally could have told of self - denial when [no one]_{517-no one} was by , when the left hand did not know what the right hand did , on the part of both [[her]_148-sally master]_{1699-her master} and [mistress]_{2075-mistress} , practised without thinking even to [themselves]_{2128-themselves} that it was either a sacrifice or a virtue , in order to enable [them]_{2128-themselves} to help [those who were in need]_{2129-those who were in need} , or even to gratify [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's kind , old - fashioned feelings on such occasions as the present , when [a stranger]_{2130-a stranger} came to [the house]_{426-the house} . [Her]_217-jemima homely , affectionate pleasure in making [others]_368-others comfortable , might have shown that such little occasional extravagances were not waste , but a good work ; and were not to be gauged by the standard of money - spending . This evening [her]_217-jemima spirits were damped by [Jemima]_217-jemima 's refusal to eat . [Poor Jemima]_217-jemima ! the cakes were so good , and [she]_217-jemima was so hungry ; but still [she]_217-jemima refused . While [Sally]_148-sally was clearing away the tea - things , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Jemima]_217-jemima accompanied [Ruth]_81-ruth [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , when [she]_148-sally went to put [little Leonard]_104-leonard to bed . " A christening is a very solemn service , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} ; " [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had no idea it was so solemn . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} seemed to speak as if [he]_{143-mr benson} had a weight of care on [his]_{143-mr benson} heart that [God]_104-leonard alone could relieve or lighten . "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} " [[My]_{143-mr benson} brother]_{4794-my brother} feels these things very much , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , rather wishing to cut short the conversation , for [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had been aware of several parts in the prayer which [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} knew were suggested by the peculiarity and sadness of the case before [him]_104-leonard . " [I]_217-jemima could not quite follow [him]_104-leonard all through , "_[217-jemima] continued [Jemima]_217-jemima ; " what did [he]_104-leonard mean by saying , ' [This child]_{4684-this child} , rebuked by [the world]_{506-the world} and bidden to stand apart , [Thou]_5126-thou wilt not rebuke , but wilt suffer it to come to [Thee]_5126-thou and be blessed with Thine almighty blessing ' ? Why is [this little darling]_{5127-this little darling} to be rebuked ? [I]_217-jemima do not think [I]_217-jemima remember the exact words , but [he]_104-leonard said something like that . "_[217-jemima] " [[My]_217-jemima dear]_{4145-my dear} ! [your]_{4145-my dear} gown is dripping wet ! it must have dipped into the tub ; let [me]_217-jemima wring it out . "_[217-jemima] " Oh , thank [you]_217-jemima ! Never mind [my]_217-jemima gown ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , hastily , and wanting to return to [her]_217-jemima question ; but just then [she]_217-jemima caught the sight of tears falling fast down the cheeks of [the silent Ruth]_{2134-the silent ruth} as [she]_{2134-the silent ruth} bent over [[her]_{2134-the silent ruth} child]_{631-her child} , crowing and splashing away in [his]_{2134-the silent ruth} tub . With a sudden consciousness that unwittingly [she]_217-jemima had touched on some painful chord , [Jemima]_217-jemima rushed into another subject , and was eagerly seconded by [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . The circumstance seemed to die away , and leave no trace ; but in after - years it rose , vivid and significant , before [Jemima]_217-jemima 's memory . At present it was enough for [her]_217-jemima , if [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} would let [her]_217-jemima serve [her]_217-jemima in every possible way . [Her]_217-jemima admiration for beauty was keen , and little indulged at [home]_4124-home ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth was very beautiful in [her]_81-ruth quiet mournfulness ; [her]_81-ruth mean and homely dress left [herself]_81-ruth only the more open to admiration , for [she]_81-ruth gave [it]_2137-it a charm by [her]_81-ruth unconscious wearing of it that made it seem like the drapery of an old Greek statue -- subordinate to [the figure it covered , yet imbued by it with an unspeakable grace]_{2138-the figure it covered , yet imbued by it with an unspeakable grace} . Then the pretended circumstances of [her]_217-jemima life were such as to catch the imagination of [a young romantic girl]_{2139-a young romantic girl} . Altogether , [Jemima]_217-jemima could have kissed [her]_81-ruth hand and professed [herself]_217-jemima [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's slave]_{2140-ruth 's slave} . [She]_81-ruth moved away all the articles used at [this little _ coucher _]_{2141-this little _ coucher _} ; [she]_81-ruth folded up [Leonard]_104-leonard 's day - clothes ; [she]_81-ruth felt only too much honoured when [Ruth]_81-ruth trusted [him]_104-leonard to [her]_81-ruth for a few minutes -- only too amply rewarded when [Ruth]_81-ruth thanked [her]_81-ruth with a grave , sweet smile , and a grateful look of [her]_81-ruth loving eyes . When [Jemima]_217-jemima had gone away with [the servant who was sent to fetch [her]_217-jemima]_{2142-the servant who was sent to fetch her} , there was a little chorus of praise . " [She]_217-jemima 's [a warm - hearted girl]_{5129-a warm - hearted girl} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [She]_217-jemima remembers all the old days before [she]_217-jemima went to [school]_680-school . [She]_217-jemima is worth two of [Mr Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [They]_5131-they 're each of [them]_5131-they just the same as [they]_5131-they were when [they]_5131-they were [children]_{1146-children} , when [they]_5131-they broke that window in [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel} , and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} ran away [home]_4124-home , and [she]_217-jemima came knocking at [our]_5135-our door , with a single knock , just like [a beggar]_{5136-a beggar} 's , and [I]_{143-mr benson} went to see who it was , and was quite startled to see [her]_217-jemima round , brown , honest face looking up at [me]_{143-mr benson} , half - frightened , and telling [me]_{143-mr benson} what [she]_217-jemima had done , and offering [me]_{143-mr benson} the money in [[her]_217-jemima savings bank]_{5137-her savings bank} to pay for it . [We]_5135-our never should have heard of [Master Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's share in the business if it had not been for [Sally]_148-sally . "_{[143-mr benson]} " But remember , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , " how strict [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} has always been with [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} children]_{5138-his children} . It is no wonder if poor [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [a coward]_{5139-a coward} in those days . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} is now , or [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm much mistaken , "_{[143-mr benson]} answered [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " And [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was just as strict with [Jemima]_217-jemima , and [she]_217-jemima 's [no coward]_{5140-no coward} . But [I]_{143-mr benson} 've no faith in [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} has a look about [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} that [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't like . And when [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was away on business in [Holland]_40-holland last year , for those months [[my]_{143-mr benson} young gentleman]_{5141-my young gentleman} did not come half as regularly to [chapel]_1864-chapel , and [I]_{143-mr benson} always believe that story of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} being seen out with the hounds at [Smithiles]_41-smithiles . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Those are neither of them great offences in [a young man of twenty]_{5143-a young man of twenty} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , smiling . " No ! [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't mind [them]_5144-them in [themselves]_5144-them ; but when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could change back so easily to being regular and mim when [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} came [home]_4124-home , [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't like that . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Leonard]_104-leonard shall never be afraid of [me]_81-ruth , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , following [her]_81-ruth own train of thought . " [I]_81-ruth will be [[his]_104-leonard friend]_{5147-his friend} from the very first ; and [I]_81-ruth will try and learn how to be [a wise friend]_{5148-a wise friend} , and [you]_{143-mr benson} will teach [me]_81-ruth , wo n't [you]_{143-mr benson} , [sir]_4181-sir ? "_[81-ruth] " What made [you]_81-ruth wish to call [him]_104-leonard [Leonard]_104-leonard , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " It was [[my]_{143-mr benson} mother]_{4247-my mother} 's father 's name ; and [she]_{4247-my mother} used to tell [me]_{143-mr benson} about [him]_104-leonard and [his]_104-leonard goodness , and [I]_{143-mr benson} thought if [Leonard]_104-leonard could be like [him--]_104-leonard "_{[143-mr benson]} " Do [you]_81-ruth remember the discussion there was about [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's name , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ? [[Her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} father]_{411-her father} wanting [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to be called [Hepzibah]_185-hepzibah , but insisting that [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was to have a Scripture name at any rate ; and [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} wanting [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to be [Juliana]_186-juliana , after some novel [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had read not long before ; and at last [Jemima]_217-jemima was fixed upon , because it would do either for a Scripture name or a name for [a heroine]_{5152-a heroine} out of a book . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_81-ruth did not know [Jemima]_217-jemima was a Scripture name , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Oh yes , it is . [One of [[Job]_187-job 's daughters]_{5154-job 's daughters}]_{5153-one of job 's daughters} ; [Jemima]_217-jemima , [Kezia]_188-kezia , and [Keren - Happuch]_{189-keren - happuch} . There are a good many Jemimas in [the world]_{506-the world} , and [some Kezias]_{5156-some kezias} , but [I]_81-ruth never heard of [a Keren - Happuch]_{189-keren - happuch} ; and yet [we]_5157-we know just as much of [one as of another]_{5158-one as of another} . [People]_322-people really like a pretty name , whether in Scripture or out of it . "_[81-ruth] " When there is no particular association with the name , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Now , [I]_{143-mr benson} was called [Faith]_{164-miss faith} after the cardinal virtue ; and [I]_{143-mr benson} like [my]_{143-mr benson} name , though [many people]_{4163-many people} would think it too [Puritan]_190-puritan ; that was according to [[our]_5157-we gentle mother]_{5161-our gentle mother} 's pious desire . And [Thurstan]_161-thurstan was called by [his]_161-thurstan name because [[my]_{143-mr benson} father]_{4925-my father} wished it ; for , although [he]_161-thurstan was what [people]_322-people called [a radical]_{5164-a radical} and a democrat in [his]_161-thurstan ways of talking and thinking , [he]_161-thurstan was very proud in [his]_161-thurstan heart of being descended from [some old Sir Thurstan , who figured away in the French wars]_{191-some old sir thurstan , who figured away in the french wars} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " The difference between theory and practice , thinking and being , "_{[143-mr benson]} put in [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who was in a mood for allowing [himself]_{143-mr benson} a little social enjoyment . [He]_{143-mr benson} leant back in [his]_{143-mr benson} chair , with [his]_{143-mr benson} eyes looking at , but not seeing the ceiling . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was clicking away with [her]_2143-her eternal knitting - needles , looking at [[her]_2143-her brother]_{982-her brother} , and seeing [him]_{982-her brother} , too . [Ruth]_81-ruth was arranging [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's clothes against the morrow . It was but [their]_2146-their usual way of spending an evening ; the variety was given by the different tone which the conversation assumed on the different nights . Yet , somehow , the peacefulness of the time , the window open into [the little garden]_{1083-the little garden} , the scents that came stealing in , and the clear summer heaven above , made the time be remembered as a happy festival by [Ruth]_81-ruth . [Even Sally]_148-sally seemed more placid than usual when [she]_148-sally came in to prayers ; and [she]_148-sally and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} followed [Ruth]_81-ruth to [[her]_81-ruth bedroom]_{788-her bedroom} , to look at the beautiful sleeping [Leonard]_104-leonard . " God bless [him]_104-leonard ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , stooping down to kiss [his]_{631-her child} little dimpled hand , which lay outside the coverlet , tossed abroad in the heat of the evening . " Now , do n't get up too early , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! Injuring [your]_81-ruth health will be short - sighted wisdom and poor economy . Good night ! "_{[143-mr benson]} " Good night , dear [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . Good night , [Sally]_148-sally . "_{[143-mr benson]} When [Ruth]_81-ruth had shut [her]_81-ruth door , [she]_81-ruth went again to the bed , and looked at [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} till [her]_81-ruth eyes filled with tears . " God bless [thee]_81-ruth , [darling]_4344-darling ! [I]_81-ruth only ask to be one of [His]_104-leonard instruments , and not thrown aside as useless -- or worse than useless . "_[81-ruth] So ended the day of [Leonard]_104-leonard 's christening . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had sometimes taught [the children of different people]_{2150-the children of different people} as an especial favour , when requested by [them]_{2150-the children of different people} . But then [[his]_{143-mr benson} pupils]_{2151-his pupils} were only [children]_{1146-children} , and by [their]_{2151-his pupils} progress [he]_{143-mr benson} was little prepared for [Ruth]_81-ruth 's . [She]_81-ruth had had early teaching , of that kind which need never be unlearnt , from [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} ; enough to unfold many of [her]_81-ruth powers ; they had remained inactive now for several years , but had grown strong in the dark and quiet time . [[Her]_81-ruth tutor]_{2154-her tutor} was surprised at the bounds by which [she]_81-ruth surmounted obstacles , the quick perception and ready adaptation of truths and first principles , and [her]_81-ruth immediate sense of the fitness of things . [Her]_81-ruth delight in what was strong and beautiful called out [[her]_81-ruth master]_{1699-her master} 's sympathy ; but , most of all , [he]_{1699-her master} admired the complete unconsciousness of uncommon power , or unusual progress . It was less of a wonder than [he]_{1699-her master} considered it to be , it is true , for [she]_81-ruth never thought of comparing what [she]_81-ruth was now with [her]_81-ruth former self , much less with another . Indeed , [she]_81-ruth did not think of [herself]_81-ruth at all , but of [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} , and what [she]_81-ruth must learn in order to teach [him]_{2051-her boy} to be and to do as suited [her]_81-ruth hope and [her]_81-ruth prayer . If [any one]_{425-any one} 's devotion could have flattered [her]_81-ruth into self - consciousness , it was [Jemima]_217-jemima 's . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} never dreamed that [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} could feel [herself]_{2158-his daughter} inferior to [the minister]_{1835-the minister} 's _ protegée _ , but so it was ; and [no knight - errant of old]_{2160-no knight - errant of old} could consider [himself]_{2160-no knight - errant of old} more honoured by [[his]_{2160-no knight - errant of old} ladye]_{2161-his ladye} 's commands than did [Jemima]_217-jemima , if [Ruth]_81-ruth allowed [her]_81-ruth to do anything for [her]_81-ruth or for [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} . [Ruth]_81-ruth loved [her]_81-ruth heartily , even while [she]_81-ruth was rather annoyed at the open expressions [Jemima]_217-jemima used of admiration . " Please , [I]_81-ruth really would rather not be told if [people]_322-people do think [me]_81-ruth pretty . "_[81-ruth] " But it was not merely beautiful ; it was sweet - looking and good , [Mrs Postlethwaite]_{192-mrs postlethwaite} called [you]_81-ruth , "_[217-jemima] replied [Jemima]_217-jemima . " All the more [I]_81-ruth would rather not hear it . [I]_81-ruth may be pretty , but [I]_81-ruth know [I]_81-ruth am not good . Besides , [I]_81-ruth do n't think [we]_5167-we ought to hear what is said of [us]_5167-we behind [our]_5167-we backs . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth spoke so gravely , that [Jemima]_217-jemima feared lest [she]_217-jemima was displeased . " [Dear Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , [I]_217-jemima never will admire or praise [you]_217-jemima again . Only let [me]_217-jemima love [you]_217-jemima . "_[217-jemima] " And let [me]_81-ruth love [you]_217-jemima ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , with a tender kiss . [Jemima]_217-jemima would not have been allowed to come so frequently if [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had not been possessed with the idea of patronising [Ruth]_81-ruth . If [the latter]_{1745-the latter} had chosen , [she]_217-jemima might have gone dressed from head to foot in the presents which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} wished to make [her]_217-jemima , but [she]_217-jemima refused them constantly ; occasionally to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's great annoyance . But if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could not load [her]_217-jemima with gifts , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could show [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} approbation by asking [her]_217-jemima to [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} house]_{2164-his house} ; and after some deliberation , [she]_217-jemima consented to accompany [Mr]_2165-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} [there]_332-there . [The house]_{426-the house} was square and massy - looking , with a great deal of drab - colour about the furniture . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , in [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} lackadaisical , sweet - tempered way , seconded [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} desire of being kind to [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and as [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} cherished privately a great taste for what was beautiful or interesting , as opposed to [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} 's love of the purely useful , this taste of [hers]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had rarely had so healthy and true a mode of gratification as when [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} watched [Ruth]_81-ruth 's movements about [the room]_{357-the room} , which seemed in its unobtrusiveness and poverty of colour to receive the requisite ornament of light and splendour from [Ruth]_81-ruth 's presence . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} sighed , and wished [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had [a daughter as lovely , about whom to weave a romance]_{2171-a daughter as lovely , about whom to weave a romance} ; for [castle - building]_{2172-castle - building} , after the manner of the Minerva press , was the outlet by which [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} escaped from the pressure of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} prosaic life , as [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's wife]_{2173-mr bradshaw 's wife} . [Her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} perception was only of external beauty , and [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was not always alive to that , or [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} might have seen how a warm , affectionate , ardent nature , free from all envy or carking care of self , gave an unspeakable charm to [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} plain , bright - faced daughter [Jemima]_217-jemima , whose dark eyes kept challenging admiration for [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} friend]_{431-her friend}]_{2174-her plain , bright - faced daughter jemima , whose dark eyes kept challenging admiration for her friend} . The first evening spent at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's passed like many succeeding visits [there]_332-there . There was tea , the equipage for which was as handsome and as ugly as money could purchase . Then [the ladies]_{4136-the ladies} produced [their]_{4136-the ladies} sewing , while [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} stood before the fire , and gave [the assembled party]_{2178-the assembled party} the benefit of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} opinions on many subjects . The opinions were as good and excellent as the opinions of [any man]_{2179-any man} can be who sees one side of a case very strongly , and almost ignores the other . [They]_2180-they coincided in many points with those held by [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , but [he]_{143-mr benson} once or twice interposed with a plea for those who might differ ; and then [he]_{143-mr benson} was heard by [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} with a kind of evident and indulgent pity , such as one feels for [a child who unwittingly talks nonsense]_{2181-a child who unwittingly talks nonsense} . By - and - by , [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} fell into one _ tête à tête _ , and [Ruth]_81-ruth and [Jemima]_217-jemima into another . [Two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children]_{2182-two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children} were sent to bed early in the evening , in an authoritative voice , by [[their]_{2182-two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children} father]_{2183-their father} , because one of [them]_{2182-two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children} had spoken too loud while [he]_{2183-their father} was enlarging on an alteration in the tariff . Just before the supper - tray was brought in , [a gentleman]_{1084-a gentleman} was announced whom [Ruth]_81-ruth had never previously seen , but who appeared well known to [the rest of [the party]_{2186-the party}]_{2185-the rest of the party} . It was [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's partner]_{2187-mr bradshaw 's partner} ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had been on [the Continent]_{42-the continent} for the last year , and had only recently returned . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} seemed perfectly at [home]_4124-home , but spoke little . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} leaned back in [his]_{193-mr farquhar} chair , screwed up [his]_{193-mr farquhar} eyes , and watched [everybody]_{505-everybody} ; yet there was nothing unpleasant or impertinent in [his]_{193-mr farquhar} keenness of observation . [Ruth]_81-ruth wondered to hear [him]_{193-mr farquhar} contradict [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and almost expected some rebuff ; but [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not yield the point , admitted , for the first time that evening , that it was possible something might be said on the other side . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} differed also from [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , but it was in a more respectful manner than [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had done . For these reasons , although [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had never spoken to [Ruth]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth came away with the impression that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was [a man to be respected , and perhaps liked]_{2190-a man to be respected , and perhaps liked} . [Sally]_148-sally would have thought [herself]_148-sally mightily aggrieved if , on [their]_2191-they return , [she]_148-sally had not heard some account of the evening . As soon as [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} came in , [the old servant]_{782-the old servant} began : " Well , and who was there ? and what did [they]_2191-they give [you]_81-ruth for supper ? "_{[782-the old servant]} " Only [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} besides [ourselves]_2191-they ; and sandwiches , sponge - cake , and wine ; there was no occasion for anything more , "_{[143-mr benson]} replied [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who was tired and preparing to go [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} . " [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ! Why [they]_2191-they do say [he]_{193-mr farquhar} 's thinking of [Miss Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_{[782-the old servant]} " Nonsense , [Sally]_148-sally ! why [he]_{193-mr farquhar} 's old enough to be [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , half way up the first flight . " There 's no need for it to be called nonsense , though [he]_{193-mr farquhar} may be ten year older , "_[148-sally] muttered [Sally]_148-sally , retreating towards [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} . " [[Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's [Betsy]_{195-elizabeth}]_{5169-bradshaw 's betsy} knows what [she]_{5169-bradshaw 's betsy} 's about , and would n't have said it for nothing . "_[148-sally] [Ruth]_81-ruth wondered a little about it . [She]_81-ruth loved [Jemima]_217-jemima well enough to be interested in what related to [her]_217-jemima ; but , after thinking for a few minutes , [she]_81-ruth decided that such a marriage was , and would ever be , very unlikely . CHAPTER XVIII [Ruth]_81-ruth Becomes [a Governess]_{2195-a governess} in [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's Family]_{2196-mr bradshaw 's family} One afternoon , not long after this , [Mr]_2197-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} set off to call upon [a farmer]_{728-a farmer} , who attended [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel} , but lived at some distance from [the town]_{396-the town} . [They]_2201-they intended to stay to tea if [they]_2201-they were invited , and [Ruth]_81-ruth and [Sally]_148-sally were left to spend a long afternoon together . At first , [Sally]_148-sally was busy in [[her]_148-sally kitchen]_{1778-her kitchen} , and [Ruth]_81-ruth employed [herself]_81-ruth in carrying [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} out into [the garden]_{783-the garden} . It was now nearly a year since [she]_81-ruth came to [the Bensons ']_{2205-the bensons '} ; it seemed like yesterday , and yet as if a lifetime had gone between . The flowers were budding now , that were all in bloom when [she]_81-ruth came down , on the first autumnal morning , into [the sunny parlour]_{2206-the sunny parlour} . The yellow jessamine , that was then a tender plant , had now taken firm root in the soil , and was sending out strong shoots ; the wall - flowers , which [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had sown on the wall a day or two after [her]_81-ruth arrival , were scenting the air with their fragrant flowers . [Ruth]_81-ruth knew every plant now ; it seemed as though [she]_81-ruth had always lived [here]_4172-here , and always known [the inhabitants of [the house]_{426-the house}]_{2208-the inhabitants of the house} . [She]_81-ruth heard [Sally]_148-sally singing [her]_148-sally accustomed song in [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , a song [she]_148-sally never varied over [her]_148-sally afternoon 's work . It began , As [I]_0-i was going to [Derby]_43-derby , [sir]_4181-sir , Upon a market - day . And if music is a necessary element in a song , perhaps [I]_0-i had better call it by some other name . But the strange change was in [Ruth]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth was conscious of it though [she]_81-ruth could not define it , and did not dwell upon it . Life had become significant and full of duty to [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth delighted in the exercise of [her]_81-ruth intellectual powers , and liked the idea of the infinite amount of which [she]_81-ruth was ignorant ; for it was a grand pleasure to learn -- to crave , and be satisfied . [She]_81-ruth strove to forget what had gone before this last twelve months . [She]_81-ruth shuddered up from contemplating it ; it was like a bad , unholy dream . And yet , there was a strange yearning kind of love for [the father of the child whom [she]_81-ruth pressed to [her]_81-ruth heart]_{2212-the father of the child whom she pressed to her heart} , which came , and [she]_81-ruth could not bid it begone as sinful , it was so pure and natural , even when thinking of it , as in the sight of [God]_104-leonard . [Little Leonard]_{196-little leonard} cooed to the flowers , and stretched after their bright colours ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth laid [him]_{196-little leonard} on the dry turf , and pelted [him]_{196-little leonard} with the gay petals . [He]_{196-little leonard} chinked and crowed with laughing delight , and clutched at [her]_81-ruth cap , and pulled it off . [Her]_81-ruth short rich curls were golden - brown in the slanting sunlight , and by their very shortness made [her]_81-ruth look more child - like . [She]_81-ruth hardly seemed as if [she]_81-ruth could be [the mother of [the noble babe over whom [she]_81-ruth knelt , now snatching kisses , now matching [his]_{196-little leonard} cheek with rose - leaves]_{2214-the noble babe over whom she knelt , now snatching kisses , now matching his cheek with rose - leaves} . All at once , the bells of [the old church]_{2215-the old church}]_{2213-the mother of the noble babe over whom she knelt , now snatching kisses , now matching his cheek with rose - leaves . all at once , the bells of the old church} struck the hour ; and far away , high up in the air , began slowly to play the old tune of " Life let [us]_2216-us cherish ; "_[2216-us] [they]_2216-us had played it for years -- for the life of [man]_661-man -- and it always sounded fresh and strange and aërial . [Ruth]_81-ruth was still in a moment , [she]_81-ruth knew not why ; and the tears came into [her]_81-ruth eyes as [she]_81-ruth listened . When it was ended , [she]_81-ruth kissed [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} , and bade [God]_104-leonard bless [him]_{4737-her baby} . Just then [Sally]_148-sally came out , dressed for the evening , with a leisurely look about [her]_148-sally . [She]_148-sally had done [her]_148-sally work , and [she]_148-sally and [Ruth]_81-ruth were to drink tea together in [the exquisitely clean kitchen]_{2219-the exquisitely clean kitchen} ; but while the kettle was boiling , [she]_148-sally came out to enjoy the flowers . [She]_148-sally gathered a piece of southern - wood , and stuffed it up [her]_148-sally nose , by way of smelling it . " Whatten [you]_81-ruth call this in [[your]_81-ruth country]_{5170-your country} ? "_[148-sally] asked [she]_148-sally . " [Old - man]_{5171-old - man} , "_[81-ruth] replied [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [We]_5172-we call it here lad's - love . It and peppermint - drops always remind [me]_81-ruth of going to [church]_4207-church in [the country]_{514-the country} . [Here]_4172-here ! [I]_81-ruth 'll get [you]_81-ruth a black - currant leaf to put in the teapot . It gives it a flavour . [We]_5172-we had bees once against this wall ; but when [missus]_5104-missus died , [we]_5172-we forgot to tell ['em]_5177-'em , and put ['em]_5177-'em in mourning , and , in course , [they]_5104-missus swarmed away without [our]_5172-we knowing , and the next winter came a hard frost , and [they]_5104-missus died . Now , [I]_81-ruth dare say , the water will be boiling ; and it 's time for [little master there]_{5178-little master there} to come in , for the dew is falling . See , all the daisies is shutting [themselves]_5104-missus up . "_[81-ruth] [Sally]_148-sally was most gracious as [a hostess]_{2220-a hostess} . [She]_148-sally quite put on [her]_148-sally company manners to receive [Ruth]_81-ruth in [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} . [They]_2222-they laid [Leonard]_104-leonard to sleep on the sofa in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , that [they]_2222-they might hear [him]_104-leonard the more easily , and then [they]_2222-they sat quietly down to [their]_2222-they sewing by the bright kitchen fire . [Sally]_148-sally was , as usual , [the talker]_{2224-the talker} ; and , as usual , the subject was [the family of whom for so many years [she]_148-sally had formed a part]_{2225-the family of whom for so many years she had formed a part} . " Aye ! things was different when [I]_148-sally was [a girl]_{1959-a girl} , "_[148-sally] quoth [she]_148-sally . " Eggs was thirty for a shilling , and butter only sixpence a pound . [My]_148-sally wage when [I]_148-sally came [here]_4172-here was but three pound , and [I]_148-sally did on it , and was always clean and tidy , which is more than many [a lass]_{5181-a lass} can say now who gets [her]_{5181-a lass} seven and eight pound a year ; and tea was kept for an afternoon drink , and pudding was eaten afore meat in them days , and the upshot was , [people]_322-people paid [their]_322-people debts better ; aye , aye ! we'n gone backwards , and [we]_5183-we thinken [we'n]_5183-we gone forrards . "_[148-sally] After shaking [her]_148-sally head a little over the degeneracy of the times , [Sally]_148-sally returned to a part of the subject on which [she]_148-sally thought [she]_148-sally had given [Ruth]_81-ruth a wrong idea . " [You]_148-sally 'll not go for to think now that [I]_2226-i 've not more than three pound a year . [I]_2226-i 've a deal above that now . First of all , [old missus]_{5106-old missus} gave [me]_2226-i four pound , for [she]_{5106-old missus} said [I]_2226-i were worth it , and [I]_2226-i thought in [my]_2226-i heart that [I]_2226-i were ; so [I]_2226-i took it without more ado ; but after [her]_{5106-old missus} death , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan and [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} took a fit of spending , and says [they]_5185-they to [me]_2226-i , one day as [I]_2226-i carried tea in , ' [Sally]_148-sally , [we]_5185-they think [your]_148-sally wages ought to be raised . ' ' What matter what [you]_148-sally think ! ' said [I]_2226-i , pretty sharp , for [I]_2226-i thought [they]_5185-they 'd ha ' shown more respect to [missus]_197-missus if [they]_5185-they 'd let things stand as they were in [her]_197-missus time ; and [they]_5185-they 'd gone and moved the sofa away from the wall to where it stands now , already that very day . So [I]_2226-i speaks up sharp , and , says [I]_2226-i , ' As long as [I]_2226-i 'm content , [I]_2226-i think it 's no business of [yours]_148-sally to be meddling wi ' [me]_2226-i and [my]_2226-i money matters . ' ' But , ' says [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} ( [she]_{164-miss faith} 's always the one to speak first if [you]_148-sally 'll notice , though it 's [master]_4301-master that comes in and clinches the matter with some reason [she]_{164-miss faith} 'd never [ha]_5187-ha ' thought of -- [he]_4301-master were always [a sensible lad]_{5188-a sensible lad} ) , ' [Sally]_148-sally , [all the servants in [the town]_{396-the town}]_{5189-all the servants in the town} have six pound and better , and [you]_148-sally have as hard a place as any of ['em]_5191-'em . ' ' Did [you]_148-sally ever hear [me]_2226-i grumble about [my]_2226-i work that [you]_148-sally talk about it in that way ? wait till [I]_2226-i grumble , ' says [I]_2226-i , ' but do n't meddle wi ' [me]_2226-i till then . ' So [I]_2226-i flung off in a huff ; but in the course of the evening , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan came in and sat down in [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , and [he]_161-thurstan 's such winning ways [he]_161-thurstan wiles one over to anything ; and besides , a notion had come into [my]_2226-i head -- now , [you]_81-ruth 'll not tell , "_[2226-i] said [she]_2226-i , glancing round [the room]_{357-the room} , and hitching [her]_2226-i chair nearer to [Ruth]_81-ruth in a confidential manner ; [Ruth]_81-ruth promised , and [Sally]_148-sally went on : " [I]_148-sally thought [I]_148-sally should like to be [an heiress]_{5193-an heiress} wi ' money , and leave it all to [Master]_5194-master and [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} ; and [I]_148-sally thought if [I]_148-sally 'd six pound a year [I]_148-sally could , maybe , get to be [an heiress]_{5193-an heiress} ; all [I]_148-sally was feared on was that [some chap or other]_{5196-some chap or other} might marry [me]_148-sally for [my]_148-sally money , but [I]_148-sally 've managed to keep [the fellows]_{5197-the fellows} off ; so [I]_148-sally looks mim and grateful , and [I]_148-sally thanks [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan for [his]_161-thurstan offer , and [I]_148-sally takes the wages ; and what do [you]_81-ruth think [I]_148-sally 've done ? "_[148-sally] asked [Sally]_148-sally , with an exultant air . " What have [you]_148-sally done ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Why , "_[148-sally] replied [Sally]_148-sally , slowly and emphatically , " [I]_148-sally 've saved thirty pound ! but that 's not it . [I]_148-sally 've getten [a lawyer]_{5198-a lawyer} to make [me]_148-sally a will ; that 's it , [wench]_5199-wench ! "_[148-sally] said [she]_148-sally , slapping [Ruth]_81-ruth on the back . " How did [you]_148-sally manage it ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Aye , that was it , "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally ; " [I]_2228-i thowt about it many a night before [I]_2228-i hit on the right way . [I]_2228-i was afeard the money might be thrown into Chancery , if [I]_2228-i did n't make it all safe , and yet [I]_2228-i could na ' ask [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan . At last and at length , [John Jackson]_{198-john jackson} , [the grocer]_{5200-the grocer} , had [a nephew]_{5201-a nephew} come to stay a week with [him]_{198-john jackson} , as was ' prentice to [a lawyer in [Liverpool]_44-liverpool]_{5202-a lawyer in liverpool} ; so now was [my]_2228-i time , and here was [[my]_2228-i lawyer]_{5203-my lawyer} . Wait a minute ! [I]_2228-i could tell [you]_81-ruth [my]_2228-i story better if [I]_2228-i had [my]_2228-i will in [my]_2228-i hand ; and [I]_2228-i 'll scomfish [you]_81-ruth if ever [you]_81-ruth go for to tell . "_[2228-i] [She]_2228-i held up [her]_2228-i hand , and threatened [Ruth]_81-ruth as [she]_2228-i left [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} to fetch the will . When [she]_2228-i came back , [she]_2228-i brought a parcel tied up in a blue pocket - handkerchief ; [she]_2228-i sat down , squared [her]_2228-i knees , untied the handkerchief , and displayed a small piece of parchment . " Now , do [you]_81-ruth know what this is ? "_[2228-i] said [she]_2228-i , holding it up . " It 's parchment , and it 's the right stuff to make wills on . [People]_322-people gets into [Chancery]_45-chancery if [they]_322-people do n't make [them]_322-people o ' this stuff , and [I]_2230-i reckon [Tom Jackson]_199-tom thowt [he]_199-tom 'd have a fresh job on it if [he]_199-tom could get it into [Chancery]_45-chancery ; for [the rascal]_{5205-the rascal} went and wrote it on a piece of paper at first , and came and read it [me]_2230-i out loud off a piece of paper no better than what [one]_321-one writes letters upon . [I]_2230-i were up to [him]_199-tom ; and , thinks [I]_2230-i , Come , come , [[my]_2230-i lad]_{5207-my lad} , [I]_2230-i 'm not [a fool]_{5208-a fool} , though [you]_{5207-my lad} may think so ; [I]_2230-i know a paper will wo n't stand , but [I]_2230-i 'll let [you]_{5207-my lad} run [your]_{5207-my lad} rig . So [I]_2230-i sits and [I]_2230-i listens . And would [you]_{5207-my lad} belie ' [me]_2230-i , [he]_199-tom read it out as if it were as clear a business as [your]_{5207-my lad} giving [me]_2230-i that thimble -- no more ado , though it were thirty pound ! [I]_2230-i could understand it mysel'--that were no law for [me]_2230-i . [I]_2230-i wanted summat to consider about , and for th ' meaning to be wrapped up as [I]_2230-i wrap up [my]_2230-i best gown . So says [I]_2230-i , ' [Tom]_199-tom ! it 's not on parchment . [I]_2230-i mun have it on parchment . ' ' This ' ill do as well , ' says [he]_199-tom . ' [We]_5209-we 'll get it witnessed , and it will stand good . ' Well ! [I]_2230-i liked the notion of having it witnessed , and for a while that soothed [me]_2230-i ; but after a bit , [I]_2230-i felt [I]_2230-i should like it done according to law , and not plain out as [anybody]_5210-anybody might ha ' done it ; [I]_2230-i mysel ' , if [I]_2230-i could have written . So says [I]_2230-i , ' [Tom]_199-tom ! [I]_2230-i mun have it on parchment . ' ' Parchment costs money , ' says [he]_199-tom , very grave . ' Oh , oh , [[my]_2230-i lad]_{5207-my lad} ! are [ye]_{5207-my lad} there ? ' thinks [I.]_2230-i ' That 's the reason [I]_2230-i 'm clipped of law . ' So says [I]_2230-i , ' [Tom]_199-tom ! [I]_2230-i mun have it on parchment . [I]_2230-i 'll pay the money and welcome . [It]_5212-it 's thirty pound , and what [I]_2230-i can lay to it . [I]_2230-i 'll make it safe . It shall be on parchment , and [I]_2230-i 'll tell [thee]_{5207-my lad} what , [lad]_5213-lad ! [I]_2230-i 'll gie [ye]_{5207-my lad} sixpence for every good law - word [you]_{5207-my lad} put in it , sounding like , and not to be caught up as [a person]_{653-a person} runs . [[Your]_{5207-my lad} master]_{4834-your master} had need to be ashamed of [you]_{5207-my lad} as [a ' prentice]_{5216-a ' prentice} if [you]_{5207-my lad} ca n't do a thing more [tradesman]_{5217-tradesman} - like than this ! ' Well ! [he]_{4834-your master} laughed above a bit , but [I]_2230-i were firm , and stood to it . So [he]_{4834-your master} made it out on parchment . Now , [woman]_5218-woman , try and read it ! "_[2230-i] said [she]_2230-i , giving it to [Ruth]_81-ruth . [Ruth]_81-ruth smiled , and began to read ; [Sally]_148-sally listening with rapt attention . When [Ruth]_81-ruth came to the word " testatrix , "_[81-ruth] [Sally]_148-sally stopped [her]_81-ruth . " That was the first sixpence , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth . " [I]_81-ruth thowt [he]_{4834-your master} was going to fob [me]_81-ruth off again wi ' plain language ; but when that word came , [I]_81-ruth out wi ' [my]_81-ruth sixpence , and gave it to [him]_{4834-your master} on the spot . Now go on . "_[81-ruth] Presently [Ruth]_81-ruth read , " accruing . "_[81-ruth] " That was the second sixpence . Four sixpences it were in all , besides six - and - eightpence as [we]_5219-we bargained at first , and three - and - fourpence parchment . There ! that 's what [I]_81-ruth call a will ; witnessed according to law , and all . [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan will be prettily taken in when [I]_81-ruth die , and [he]_161-thurstan finds all [his]_161-thurstan extra wage left back to [him]_161-thurstan . But it will teach [him]_161-thurstan it 's not so easy as [he]_161-thurstan thinks for , to make [a woman]_{834-a woman} give up [her]_{834-a woman} way . "_[81-ruth] The time was now drawing near when [little Leonard]_104-leonard might be weaned -- the time appointed by all three for [Ruth]_81-ruth to endeavour to support [herself]_81-ruth in some way more or less independent of [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . This prospect dwelt much in all of [their]_2231-they minds , and was in each shaded with some degree of perplexity ; but [they]_2231-they [none of [them]_2231-they]_{2232-none of them} spoke of it for fear of accelerating the event . If [they]_2231-they had felt clear and determined as to the best course to be pursued , [they]_2231-they were none of [them]_2231-they deficient in courage to commence upon that course at once . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} would , perhaps , have objected the most to any alteration in [their]_2231-they present daily mode of life ; but that was because [she]_81-ruth had the habit of speaking out [her]_81-ruth thoughts as they arose , and [she]_81-ruth particularly disliked and dreaded change . Besides this , [she]_81-ruth had felt [her]_81-ruth heart open out , and warm towards [the little helpless child]_{2233-the little helpless child} , in a strong and powerful manner . [Nature]_200-nature had intended [her]_81-ruth warm instincts to find vent in [a mother]_{1536-a mother} 's duties ; [her]_81-ruth heart had yearned after [children]_{1146-children} , and made [her]_81-ruth restless in [her]_81-ruth childless state , without [her]_81-ruth well knowing why ; but now , the delight [she]_81-ruth experienced in tending , nursing , and contriving for [the little boy]_{584-the little boy} -- even contriving to the point of sacrificing many of [her]_81-ruth cherished whims -- made [her]_81-ruth happy and satisfied and peaceful . It was more difficult to sacrifice [her]_81-ruth whims than [her]_81-ruth comforts ; but all had been given up when and where required by [the sweet lordly baby , who reigned paramount in [his]_{584-the little boy} very helplessness]_{2237-the sweet lordly baby , who reigned paramount in his very helplessness} . From some cause or other , an exchange of [ministers]_{2238-ministers} for one Sunday was to be effected with [a neighbouring congregation]_{2239-a neighbouring congregation} , and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} went on a short absence from [home]_4124-home . When [he]_{143-mr benson} returned on Monday , [he]_{143-mr benson} was met at [the house]_{426-the house} - door by [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , who had evidently been looking out for [him]_{143-mr benson} for some time . [She]_{4508-his sister} stepped out to greet [him]_{143-mr benson} . " Do n't hurry [yourself]_{143-mr benson} , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ! all 's well ; only [I]_{4508-his sister} wanted to tell [you]_{143-mr benson} something . Do n't fidget [yourself]_{143-mr benson} -- [baby]_4477-baby is quite well , bless [him]_4477-baby ! It 's only good news . Come into [[your]_{143-mr benson} room]_{4566-your room} , and let [me]_{4508-his sister} talk a little quietly with [you]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[4508-his sister]} [She]_{4508-his sister} drew [him]_{143-mr benson} into [[his]_{143-mr benson} study]_{1727-his study} , which was near the outer door , and then [she]_{4508-his sister} took off [his]_{143-mr benson} coat , and put [his]_{143-mr benson} carpet - bag in a corner , and wheeled a chair to the fire , before [she]_{4508-his sister} would begin . " Well , now ! to think how often things fall out just as [we]_5223-we want them , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ! Have not [you]_{143-mr benson} often wondered what was to be done with [Ruth]_81-ruth when the time came at which [we]_5223-we promised [her]_81-ruth [she]_81-ruth should earn [her]_81-ruth living ? [I]_{4508-his sister} am sure [you]_{143-mr benson} have , because [I]_{4508-his sister} have so often thought about it [myself]_{4508-his sister} . And yet [I]_{4508-his sister} never dared to speak out [my]_{4508-his sister} fear , because that seemed giving it a shape . And now [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} has put all to rights . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} invited [Mr Jackson]_{201-mr jackson} to dinner yesterday , just as [we]_5223-we were going into [chapel]_1864-chapel ; and then [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} turned to [me]_{4508-his sister} and asked [me]_{4508-his sister} if [I]_{4508-his sister} would come to tea -- straight from [afternoon chapel]_{5225-afternoon chapel} , because [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} wanted to speak to [me]_{4508-his sister} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} made it very clear [I]_{4508-his sister} was not to bring [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and , indeed , [she]_81-ruth was only too happy to stay at [home]_4124-home with [baby]_4477-baby . And so [I]_{4508-his sister} went ; and [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} took [me]_{4508-his sister} into [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} bedroom]_{788-her bedroom} , and shut the doors , and said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had told [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not like [Jemima]_217-jemima being so much confined with [the younger ones]_{5229-the younger ones} while [they]_{5229-the younger ones} were at [their]_{5229-the younger ones} lessons , and that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} wanted [some one above [a nursemaid]_{5231-a nursemaid} to sit with [them]_{5229-the younger ones} while [[their]_{5229-the younger ones} masters]_{5232-their masters} were [there]_332-there]_{5230-some one above a nursemaid to sit with them while their masters were there} -- [some one who would see about [their]_{5229-the younger ones} learning [their]_{5229-the younger ones} lessons , and who would walk out with [them]_{5229-the younger ones}]_{5234-some one who would see about their learning their lessons , and who would walk out with them} ; a sort of [nursery governess]_{5235-nursery governess} , [I]_{4508-his sister} think [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} meant , though [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} did not say so ; and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ( for , of course , [I]_{4508-his sister} saw [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} thoughts and words constantly peeping out , though [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had told [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to speak to [me]_{4508-his sister} ) believed that [[our]_5236-we [Ruth]_81-ruth]_{5237-our ruth} would be [the very person]_{5238-the very person} . Now , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , do n't look so surprised , as if [she]_81-ruth had never come into [your]_161-thurstan head ! [I]_{4508-his sister} am sure [I]_{4508-his sister} saw what [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was driving at , long before [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} came to the point ; and [I]_{4508-his sister} could scarcely keep from smiling , and saying , ' [We]_5236-we 'd jump at the proposal'--long before [I]_{4508-his sister} ought to have known anything about it . "_{[4508-his sister]} " Oh , [I]_{143-mr benson} wonder what [we]_5236-we ought to do ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Or rather , [I]_{143-mr benson} believe [I]_{143-mr benson} see what [we]_5236-we ought to do , if [I]_{143-mr benson} durst but do it . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Why , what ought [we]_5236-we to do ? "_{[4508-his sister]} asked [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , in surprise . " [I]_{4508-his sister} ought to go and tell [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} the whole story-- "_{[4508-his sister]} " And get [Ruth]_81-ruth turned out of [[our]_5236-we house]_{4756-our house} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , indignantly . " [They]_5236-we ca n't make [us]_5236-we do that , "_{[982-her brother]} said [[her]_{4508-his sister} brother]_{982-her brother} . " [I]_{982-her brother} do not think [they]_5236-we would try . "_{[982-her brother]} " Yes , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} would try ; and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would blazon out [poor Ruth]_81-ruth 's sin , and there would not be a chance for [her]_81-ruth left . [I]_{4508-his sister} know [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} well , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ; and why should [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} be told now , more than a year ago ? "_{[4508-his sister]} " A year ago [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not want to put [her]_81-ruth in a situation of trust about [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} children]_{5138-his children} . "_{[4508-his sister]} " And [you]_161-thurstan think [she]_81-ruth 'll abuse that trust , do [you]_161-thurstan ? [You]_161-thurstan 've lived a twelvemonth in [the house]_{426-the house} with [Ruth]_81-ruth , and the end of it is , [you]_161-thurstan think [she]_81-ruth will do [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} children]_{5138-his children} harm ! Besides , who encouraged [Jemima]_217-jemima to come to [the house]_{426-the house} so much to see [Ruth]_81-ruth ? Did [you]_161-thurstan not say it would do [them]_5244-them both good to see something of [each other]_{579-each other} ? "_{[982-her brother]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} sat thinking . " If [you]_161-thurstan had not known [Ruth]_81-ruth as well as [you]_161-thurstan do -- if during [her]_81-ruth stay with [us]_5246-we [you]_161-thurstan had marked anything wrong , or forward , or deceitful , or immodest , [I]_2246-i would say at once , ' Do n't allow [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} to take [her]_81-ruth into [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} house]_{2164-his house} ; ' but still [I]_2246-i would say , ' Do n't tell of [her]_81-ruth sin and [her]_81-ruth sorrow to so severe [a man]_{650-a man} -- so unpitiful [a judge]_{5249-a judge} . ' But here [I]_2246-i ask [you]_161-thurstan , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , can [you]_161-thurstan , or [I]_2246-i , or [Sally]_148-sally ( quick - eyed as [she]_148-sally is ) , say , that in any one thing [we]_5246-we have had true , just occasion to find fault with [Ruth]_81-ruth ? [I]_2246-i do n't mean that [she]_81-ruth is perfect -- [she]_81-ruth acts without thinking , [her]_81-ruth temper is sometimes warm and hasty ; but have [we]_5246-we any right to go and injure [her]_81-ruth prospects for life , by telling [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} all [we]_5246-we know of [her]_81-ruth errors -- only sixteen when [she]_81-ruth did so wrong , and never to escape from it all [her]_81-ruth many years to come -- to have the despair which would arise from its being known , clutching [her]_81-ruth back into worse sin ? What harm do [you]_5250-you think [she]_81-ruth can do ? What is the risk to which [you]_5250-you think [you]_5250-you are exposing [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's children]_{5251-mr bradshaw 's children} ? "_[2246-i] [She]_2246-i paused , out of breath , [her]_2246-i eyes glittering with tears of indignation , and impatient for an answer , that [she]_2246-i might knock it to pieces . " [I]_2247-i do not see any danger that can arise , "_[2247-i] said [he]_2247-i at length , and with slow difficulty , as if not fully convinced . " [I]_2247-i have watched [Ruth]_81-ruth , and [I]_2247-i believe [she]_81-ruth is pure and truthful ; and the very sorrow and penitence [she]_81-ruth has felt -- the very suffering [she]_81-ruth has gone through -- has given [her]_81-ruth a thoughtful conscientiousness beyond [her]_81-ruth age . "_[2247-i] " That and the care of [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , secretly delighted at the tone of [[her]_2246-i brother]_{982-her brother} 's thoughts . " Ah , [Faith]_{164-miss faith} ! that baby [you]_{143-mr benson} so much dreaded once , is turning out a blessing , [you]_{143-mr benson} see , "_{[161-thurstan]} said [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , with a faint , quiet smile . " Yes ! [any one]_{425-any one} might be thankful , and better too , for [Leonard]_104-leonard ; but how could [I]_161-thurstan tell that it would be like [him]_104-leonard ? "_{[161-thurstan]} " But to return to [Ruth]_81-ruth and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . What did [you]_161-thurstan say ? "_[2247-i] " Oh ! with [my]_161-thurstan feelings , of course , [I]_161-thurstan was only too glad to accept the proposal , and so [I]_161-thurstan told [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} then ; and [I]_161-thurstan afterwards repeated it to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} asked [me]_161-thurstan if [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wife]_{737-his wife} had mentioned [their]_5255-their plans . [They]_5255-their would understand that [I]_161-thurstan must consult [you]_161-thurstan and [Ruth]_81-ruth , before it could be considered as finally settled . "_{[161-thurstan]} " And have [you]_161-thurstan named it to [her]_81-ruth ? "_{[161-thurstan]} " Yes , "_{[143-mr benson]} answered [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , half afraid lest [he]_2249-i should think [she]_2250-she had been too precipitate . " And what did [she]_81-ruth say ? "_[2249-i] asked [he]_2249-i , after a little pause of grave silence . " At first [she]_81-ruth seemed very glad , and fell into [my]_2249-i mood of planning how it should all be managed ; how [Sally]_148-sally and [I]_2249-i should take care of [the baby]_{1144-the baby} the hours that [she]_81-ruth was away at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's ; but by - and - by [she]_81-ruth became silent and thoughtful , and knelt down by [me]_2249-i and hid [her]_81-ruth face in [my]_2249-i lap , and shook a little as if [she]_81-ruth was crying ; and then [I]_2249-i heard [her]_81-ruth speak in a very low smothered voice , for [her]_81-ruth head was still bent down -- quite hanging down , indeed , so that [I]_2249-i could not see [her]_81-ruth face , so [I]_2249-i stooped to listen , and [I]_2249-i heard [her]_81-ruth say , ' Do [you]_2249-i think [I]_2249-i should be good enough to teach [little girls]_{5257-little girls} , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ? ' [She]_81-ruth said it so humbly and fearfully that all [I]_2249-i thought of was how to cheer [her]_81-ruth , and [I]_2249-i answered and asked [her]_81-ruth if [she]_81-ruth did not hope to be good enough to bring up [her]_81-ruth own darling to be [a brave Christian man]_{5258-a brave christian man} ? And [she]_81-ruth lifted up [her]_81-ruth head , and [I]_2249-i saw [her]_81-ruth eyes looking wild and wet and earnest , and [she]_81-ruth said , ' With [God]_104-leonard 's help , that will [I]_2249-i try to make [[my]_2249-i child]_{5259-my child} . ' And [I]_2249-i said then , ' [Ruth]_81-ruth , as [you]_81-ruth strive and as [you]_81-ruth pray for [[your]_81-ruth own child]_{5260-your own child} , so [you]_81-ruth must strive and pray to make [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} good , if [you]_81-ruth are trusted with [them]_{5260-your own child} . ' And [she]_81-ruth said out quite clear , though [her]_81-ruth face was hidden from [me]_2249-i once more , ' [I]_2249-i will strive , and [I]_2249-i will pray . ' [You]_2249-i would not have had any fears , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , if [you]_2249-i could have heard and seen [her]_81-ruth last night . "_[2249-i] " [I]_2251-i have no fear , "_[2251-i] said [he]_2251-i , decidedly . " Let the plan go on . "_[2251-i] After a minute , [he]_2251-i added , " But [I]_2251-i am glad it was so far arranged before [I]_2251-i heard of it . [My]_2251-i indecision about right and wrong -- [my]_2251-i perplexity as to how far [we]_5261-we are to calculate consequences -- grows upon [me]_2251-i , [I]_2251-i fear . "_[2251-i] " [You]_2249-i look tired and weary , [dear]_4155-dear . [You]_2249-i should blame [your]_2249-i body rather than [your]_2249-i conscience at these times . "_[2251-i] " A very dangerous doctrine . "_[2251-i] The scroll of Fate was closed , and [they]_2252-they could not foresee the Future ; and yet , if [they]_2252-they could have seen it , though [they]_2252-they might have shrunk fearfully at first , [they]_2252-they would have smiled and thanked [God]_104-leonard when all was done and said . CHAPTER XIX After Five Years The quiet days grew into weeks and months , and even years , without any event to startle the little circle into the consciousness of the lapse of time . One who had known [them]_2252-they at the date of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's becoming [a governess in [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's family]_{2196-mr bradshaw 's family}]_{2253-a governess in mr bradshaw 's family} , and had been absent until the time of which [I]_0-i am now going to tell [you]_2255-you , would have noted some changes which had imperceptibly come over all ; but [he]_2256-he , too , would have thought , that the life which had brought so little of turmoil and vicissitude must have been calm and tranquil , and in accordance with the bygone activity of [the town]_{396-the town} in which [their]_2252-they existence passed away . The alterations that [he]_2256-he would have perceived were those caused by the natural progress of time . [The Benson home]_{2258-the benson home} was brightened into vividness by the presence of [the little Leonard]_{2259-the little leonard} , now [a noble boy of six , large and grand in limb and stature , and with a face of marked beauty and intelligence]_{2260-a noble boy of six , large and grand in limb and stature , and with a face of marked beauty and intelligence} . Indeed , [he]_{2259-the little leonard} might have been considered by [many]_652-many as too intelligent for [his]_{2259-the little leonard} years ; and often the living with [old and thoughtful people]_{2262-old and thoughtful people} gave [him]_{2259-the little leonard} , beyond [most children]_{2263-most children} , the appearance of pondering over the mysteries which meet [the young on the threshold of life]_{2264-the young on the threshold of life} , but which fade away as advancing years bring [us]_2265-us more into contact with the practical and tangible -- fade away and vanish , until it seems to require the agitation of some great storm of the soul before [we]_2265-us can again realise spiritual things . But , at times , [Leonard]_104-leonard seemed oppressed and bewildered , after listening intent , with grave and wondering eyes , to the conversation around [him]_104-leonard ; at others , the bright animal life shone forth radiant , and no three - months ' kitten -- no foal , suddenly tossing up its heels by the side of its sedate dam , and careering around [the pasture]_{2266-the pasture} in pure mad enjoyment -- [no young creature of any kind]_{2267-no young creature of any kind} , could show more merriment and gladness of heart . " For ever in mischief , "_{[104-leonard]} was [Sally]_148-sally 's account of [him]_104-leonard at such times ; but it was not intentional mischief ; and [Sally]_148-sally [herself]_148-sally would have been the first to scold [any one else who had used the same words]_{2268-any one else who had used the same words} in reference to [[her]_148-sally darling]_{1704-her darling} . Indeed , [she]_148-sally was once nearly giving warning , because [she]_148-sally thought [the boy]_{4189-the boy} was being ill - used . The occasion was this : [Leonard]_104-leonard had for some time shown a strange , odd disregard of truth ; [he]_104-leonard invented stories , and told [them]_2271-them with so grave a face , that unless there was some internal evidence of [their]_2271-them incorrectness ( such as describing a cow with a bonnet on ) , [he]_104-leonard was generally believed , and [his]_104-leonard statements , which were given with the full appearance of relating a real occurrence , had once or twice led to awkward results . [All the three , whose hearts]_{2272-all the three , whose hearts} were pained by this apparent unconsciousness of the difference between truth and falsehood , were unaccustomed to [children]_{1146-children} , or [they]_{2272-all the three , whose hearts} would have recognised this as a stage through which [most infants , who have lively imaginations]_{2274-most infants , who have lively imaginations} , pass ; and , accordingly , there was a consultation in [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's study]_{1717-mr benson 's study} one morning . [Ruth]_81-ruth was there , quiet , very pale , and with compressed lips , sick at heart as [she]_81-ruth heard [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's arguments for the necessity of whipping , in order to cure [Leonard]_104-leonard of [his]_104-leonard story - telling . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} looked unhappy and uncomfortable . Education was but a series of experiments to [them]_{2272-all the three , whose hearts} all , and [they]_{2272-all the three , whose hearts} all had a secret dread of spoiling [the noble boy , who was the darling of [their]_{2272-all the three , whose hearts} hearts]_{2276-the noble boy , who was the darling of their hearts} . And , perhaps , this very intensity of love begot an impatient , unnecessary anxiety , and made [them]_{2272-all the three , whose hearts} resolve on sterner measures than [the parent of [a large family ( where love was more spread abroad]_{2278-a large family ( where love was more spread abroad} ) would have dared to use]_{2277-the parent of a large family ( where love was more spread abroad ) would have dared to use} . At any rate , the vote for whipping carried the day ; and even [Ruth]_81-ruth , trembling and cold , agreed that it must be done ; only [she]_81-ruth asked , in a meek , sad voice , if [she]_81-ruth need be present ( [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was to be [the executioner]_{2279-the executioner} -- the scene , [the study]_{1738-the study} ) ; and being instantly told that [she]_81-ruth had better not , [she]_81-ruth went slowly and languidly up to [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} , and kneeling down , [she]_81-ruth closed [her]_81-ruth ears , and prayed . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , having carried [her]_81-ruth point , was very sorry for [the child]_{565-the child} , and would have begged [him]_{565-the child} off ; but [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had listened more to [her]_81-ruth arguments than now to [her]_81-ruth pleadings , and only answered , " If it is right , it shall be done ! "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} went into [the garden]_{783-the garden} , and deliberately , almost as if [he]_{143-mr benson} wished to gain time , chose and cut off a little switch from the laburnum - tree . Then [he]_{143-mr benson} returned through [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , and gravely taking [the awed and wondering little fellow]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} by the hand , [he]_{143-mr benson} led [him]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} silently into [the study]_{1738-the study} , and placing [him]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} before [him]_{143-mr benson} , began an admonition on the importance of truthfulness , meaning to conclude with what [he]_{143-mr benson} believed to be the moral of all punishment : " As [you]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} can not remember this of [yourself]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} , [I]_{143-mr benson} must give [you]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} a little pain to make [you]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} remember it . [I]_{143-mr benson} am very sorry it is necessary , and that [you]_{2285-the awed and wondering little fellow} can not recollect without [my]_{143-mr benson} doing so . "_{[143-mr benson]} But before [he]_{143-mr benson} had reached this very proper and desirable conclusion , and while [he]_{143-mr benson} was yet working [his]_{143-mr benson} way , [his]_{143-mr benson} heart aching with the terrified look of [the child]_{565-the child} at the solemnly sad face and words of upbraiding , [Sally]_148-sally burst in : " And what may [ye]_{143-mr benson} be going to do with that fine switch [I]_148-sally saw [ye]_{143-mr benson} gathering , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan ? "_[148-sally] asked [she]_148-sally , [her]_148-sally eyes gleaming with anger at the answer [she]_148-sally knew must come , if answer [she]_148-sally had at all . " Go away , [Sally]_148-sally , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , annoyed at the fresh difficulty in [his]_{143-mr benson} path . " [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll not stir never a step till [you]_148-sally give [me]_{143-mr benson} that switch , as [you]_148-sally 've got for some mischief , [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll be bound . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Sally]_148-sally ! remember where it is said , ' [He]_5263-he that spareth the rod , spoileth [the child]_{565-the child} , ' "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , austerely . " Aye , [I]_2288-i remember ; and [I]_2288-i remember a bit more than [you]_148-sally want [me]_2288-i to remember , [I]_2288-i reckon . [It]_5263-he were [King Solomon]_{202-king solomon} as spoke them words , and it were [[King Solomon]_{202-king solomon} 's son]_{5265-king solomon 's son} that were [King Rehoboam]_{203-king rehoboam} , and [no great shakes either]_{5266-no great shakes either} . [I]_2288-i can remember what is said on [him]_5263-he , 2 Chronicles , xii . chapter , 14th verse : ' And [he]_5263-he , ' that 's [King Rehoboam]_{203-king rehoboam} , [the lad that tasted the rod]_{5267-the lad that tasted the rod} , ' did evil , because [he]_5263-he prepared not [his]_5263-he heart to seek [the Lord]_{4327-the lord} . ' [I]_2288-i 've not been reading [my]_2288-i chapters every night for fifty year to be caught napping by [a Dissenter]_{5094-a dissenter} , neither ! "_[2288-i] said [she]_2288-i , triumphantly . " Come along , [Leonard]_104-leonard . "_[2288-i] [She]_2288-i stretched out [her]_2288-i hand to [the child]_{565-the child} , thinking that [she]_2288-i had conquered . But [Leonard]_104-leonard did not stir . [He]_104-leonard looked wistfully at [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Come ! "_[2288-i] said [she]_2288-i , impatiently . [The boy]_{4189-the boy} 's mouth quivered . " If [you]_{143-mr benson} want to whip [me]_{4189-the boy} , [uncle]_5270-uncle , [you]_{143-mr benson} may do it . [I]_{4189-the boy} do n't much mind . "_{[4189-the boy]} Put in this form , it was impossible to carry out [his]_104-leonard intentions ; and so [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} told [the lad]_{4193-the lad} [he]_{143-mr benson} might go -- that [he]_{143-mr benson} would speak to [him]_{4193-the lad} another time . [Leonard]_104-leonard went away , more subdued in spirit than if [he]_104-leonard had been whipped . [Sally]_148-sally lingered a moment . [She]_148-sally stopped to add : " [I]_148-sally think it 's for [them]_5271-them without sin to throw stones at [a poor child]_{5272-a poor child} , and cut up good laburnum - branches to whip [him]_{5272-a poor child} . [I]_148-sally only do as [my]_148-sally betters do , when [I]_148-sally call [[Leonard]_104-leonard 's mother]_{5273-leonard 's mother} [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . "_[148-sally] The moment [she]_148-sally had said this [she]_148-sally was sorry ; it was an ungenerous advantage after [the enemy]_{2292-the enemy} had acknowledged [himself]_{2292-the enemy} defeated . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} dropped [his]_{143-mr benson} head upon [his]_{143-mr benson} hands , and hid [his]_{143-mr benson} face , and sighed deeply . [Leonard]_104-leonard flew in search of [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} , as in search of a refuge . If [he]_104-leonard had found [her]_{655-his mother} calm , [he]_104-leonard would have burst into a passion of crying after [his]_104-leonard agitation ; as it was , [he]_104-leonard came upon [her]_{655-his mother} kneeling and sobbing , and [he]_104-leonard stood quite still . Then [he]_104-leonard threw [his]_104-leonard arms round [her]_{655-his mother} neck , and said : " [Mamma]_113-mamma ! [mamma]_4143-mamma ! [I]_104-leonard will be good -- [I]_104-leonard make a promise ; [I]_104-leonard will speak true -- [I]_104-leonard make a promise . "_{[104-leonard]} And [he]_104-leonard kept [his]_104-leonard word . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} piqued [herself]_{143-mr benson} upon being less carried away by [her]_{655-his mother} love for [this child]_{4684-this child} than [any one else in [the house]_{426-the house}]_{1722-any one else in the house} ; [she]_{655-his mother} talked severely , and had capital theories ; but [her]_{655-his mother} severity ended in talk , and [her]_{655-his mother} theories would not work . However , [she]_{655-his mother} read several books on education , knitting socks for [Leonard]_104-leonard all the while ; and , upon the whole , [I]_0-i think , the hands were more usefully employed than the head , and the good honest heart better than either . [She]_{655-his mother} looked older than when [we]_2297-we first knew [her]_{655-his mother} , but it was a ripe , kindly age that was coming over [her]_{655-his mother} . [Her]_{655-his mother} excellent practical sense , perhaps , made [her]_{655-his mother} a more masculine character than [[her]_{655-his mother} brother]_{982-her brother} . [He]_{982-her brother} was often so much perplexed by the problems of life , that [he]_{982-her brother} let the time for action go by ; but [she]_{655-his mother} kept [him]_{982-her brother} in check by [her]_{655-his mother} clear , pithy talk , which brought back [his]_{982-her brother} wandering thoughts to the duty that lay straight before [him]_{982-her brother} , waiting for action ; and then [he]_{982-her brother} remembered that it was the faithful part to " wait patiently upon [God]_104-leonard , "_{[655-his mother]} and leave the ends in [His]_{982-her brother} hands , who alone knows why Evil exists in [this world]_{402-this world} , and why it ever hovers on either side of Good . In this respect , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had more faith than [[her]_{655-his mother} brother]_{982-her brother} -- or so it seemed ; for quick , resolute action in the next step of Life was all [she]_{655-his mother} required , while [he]_{982-her brother} deliberated and trembled , and often did wrong from [his]_{982-her brother} very deliberation , when [his]_{982-her brother} first instinct would have led [him]_{982-her brother} right . But although decided and prompt as ever , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was grown older since the summer afternoon when [she]_{655-his mother} dismounted from [the coach]_{1509-the coach} at the foot of the long Welsh hill that led to [Llan - dhu]_{31-llan - dhu} , where [[her]_{655-his mother} brother]_{982-her brother} awaited [her]_{655-his mother} to consult [her]_{655-his mother} about [Ruth]_81-ruth . Though [her]_{655-his mother} eye was as bright and straight - looking as ever , quick and brave in its glances , [her]_{655-his mother} hair had become almost snowy white ; and it was on this point [she]_{655-his mother} consulted [Sally]_148-sally , soon after the date of [Leonard]_104-leonard 's last untruth . [The two]_{1675-the two} were arranging [[Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's room]_{2304-miss benson 's room} one morning , when , after dusting the looking - glass , [she]_{655-his mother} suddenly stopped in [her]_{655-his mother} operation , and after a close inspection of [herself]_{655-his mother} , startled [Sally]_148-sally by this speech : " [Sally]_148-sally ! [I]_{655-his mother} 'm looking a great deal older than [I]_{655-his mother} used to do ! "_{[655-his mother]} [Sally]_148-sally , who was busy dilating on the increased price of flour , considered this remark of [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's as strangely irrelevant to the matter in hand , and only noticed it by a " To be sure ! [I]_{143-mr benson} suppose [we]_{1675-the two} all on [us]_{1675-the two} do . But two - and - fourpence a dozen is too much to make [us]_{1675-the two} pay for it . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} went on with [her]_{655-his mother} inspection of [herself]_{655-his mother} , and [Sally]_148-sally with [her]_148-sally economical projects . " [Sally]_148-sally ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , " [my]_{143-mr benson} hair is nearly white . The last time [I]_{143-mr benson} looked it was only pepper - and - salt . What must [I]_{143-mr benson} do ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Do -- why , what would [the wench]_{5275-the wench} do ? "_[148-sally] asked [Sally]_148-sally , contemptuously . " [Ye're]_148-sally never going to be taken in , at [your]_148-sally time of life , by hair - dyes and such gimcracks , as can only take in [young girls whose wisdom - teeth are not cut]_{5276-young girls whose wisdom - teeth are not cut} . "_[148-sally] " And who are not very likely to want [them]_{5276-young girls whose wisdom - teeth are not cut} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , quietly . " No ! but [you]_148-sally see , [Sally]_148-sally , it 's very awkward having such grey hair , and feeling so young . Do [you]_148-sally know , [Sally]_148-sally , [I]_{143-mr benson} 've as great a mind for dancing , when [I]_{143-mr benson} hear a lively tune on [the street]_{347-the street} - organs , as ever ; and as great a mind to sing when [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm happy -- to sing in [my]_{143-mr benson} old way , [Sally]_148-sally , [you]_148-sally know . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Aye , [you]_148-sally had it from [a girl]_{1959-a girl} , "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally ; " and many a time , when the door 's been shut , [I]_148-sally did not know if it was [you]_148-sally in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , or a big bumble - bee in [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , as was making that drumbling noise . [I]_148-sally heard [you]_148-sally at it yesterday . "_[148-sally] " But [an old woman with grey hair]_{5281-an old woman with grey hair} ought not to have a fancy for dancing or singing , "_{[143-mr benson]} continued [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Whatten nonsense are [ye]_148-sally talking ? "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally , roused to indignation . " Calling [yoursel]_148-sally ' [an old woman]_{4636-an old woman} when [you]_148-sally 're better than ten years younger than [me]_148-sally ! and [many a girl]_{5283-many a girl} has grey hair at five - and - twenty . "_[148-sally] " But [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm more than five - and - twenty , [Sally]_148-sally . [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm fifty - seven next May ! "_{[143-mr benson]} " More shame for [ye]_148-sally , then , not to know better than to talk of dyeing [your]_148-sally hair . [I]_148-sally can not abide such vanities ! "_[148-sally] " Oh , [dear]_4155-dear ! [Sally]_148-sally , when will [you]_148-sally understand what [I]_148-sally mean ? [I]_148-sally want to know how [I]_148-sally am to keep remembering how old [I]_148-sally am , so as to prevent [myself]_148-sally from feeling so young ? [I]_148-sally was quite startled just now to see [my]_148-sally hair in the glass , for [I]_148-sally can generally tell if [my]_148-sally cap is straight by feeling . [I]_148-sally 'll tell [you]_148-sally what [I]_148-sally 'll do -- [I'll]_148-sally cut off a piece of [my]_148-sally grey hair , and plait it together for a marker in [my]_148-sally Bible ! "_[148-sally] [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} expected applause for this bright idea , but [Sally]_148-sally only made answer : " [You]_148-sally 'll be taking to painting [your]_148-sally cheeks next , now [you]_148-sally 've once thought of dyeing [your]_148-sally hair . "_[148-sally] So [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} plaited [her]_148-sally grey hair in silence and quietness , [Leonard]_104-leonard holding one end of it while [she]_148-sally wove it , and admiring the colour and texture all the time , with a sort of implied dissatisfaction at the auburn colour of [his]_104-leonard own curls , which was only half - comforted away by [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's information , that , if [he]_104-leonard lived long enough , [his]_104-leonard hair would be like [hers]_148-sally . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who had looked old and frail while [he]_104-leonard was yet but young , was now stationary as to the date of [his]_104-leonard appearance . But there was something more of nervous restlessness in [his]_104-leonard voice and ways than formerly ; that was the only change six years had brought to [him]_104-leonard . And as for [Sally]_148-sally , [she]_148-sally chose to forget age and the passage of years altogether , and had as much work in [her]_148-sally , to use [her]_148-sally own expression , as [she]_148-sally had at sixteen ; nor was [her]_148-sally appearance very explicit as to the flight of time . Fifty , sixty , or seventy , [she]_148-sally might be -- not more than the last , not less than the first -- though [her]_148-sally usual answer to any circuitous inquiry as to [her]_148-sally age was now ( what it had been for many years past ) , " [I]_148-sally 'm feared [I]_148-sally shall never see thirty again . "_[148-sally] Then as to [the house]_{426-the house} . It was not one where [the sitting - rooms]_{4435-the sitting - rooms} are refurnished every two or three years ; not now , even ( since [Ruth]_81-ruth came to share [their]_2307-their living ) a place where , as an article grew shabby or worn , a new one was purchased . The furniture looked poor , and the carpets almost threadbare ; but there was such a dainty spirit of cleanliness abroad , such exquisite neatness of repair , and altogether so bright and cheerful a look about [the rooms]_{1057-the rooms} -- everything so above - board -- no shifts to conceal poverty under flimsy ornament -- that many [a splendid drawing - room]_{2309-a splendid drawing - room} would give less pleasure to those who could see evidences of character in inanimate things . But whatever poverty there might be in [the house]_{426-the house} , there was full luxuriance in [the little square wall - encircled garden]_{2311-the little square wall - encircled garden} , on two sides of which [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} and [kitchen]_1794-kitchen looked . The laburnum - tree , which when [Ruth]_81-ruth came was like a twig stuck into the ground , was now a golden glory in spring , and a pleasant shade in summer . The wild hop , that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had brought [home]_4124-home from one of [[his]_{143-mr benson} country rambles]_{2315-his country rambles} , and planted by the parlour - window , while [Leonard]_104-leonard was yet [a baby]_{4677-a baby} in [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} 's arms , was now a garland over the casement , hanging down long tendrils , that waved in the breezes , and threw pleasant shadows and traceries , like some Bacchanalian carving , on the parlour - walls , at " morn or dusky eve . "_[81-ruth] The yellow rose had clambered up to the window of [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's bedroom]_{2318-mr benson 's bedroom} , and [its]_2319-its blossom - laden branches were supported by a jargonelle pear - tree rich in autumnal fruit . But , perhaps , in [Ruth]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth there was the greatest external change ; for of the change which had gone on in [her]_81-ruth heart , and mind , and soul , or if there had been any , neither [she]_81-ruth nor [any one around [her]_81-ruth]_{2320-any one around her} was conscious ; but sometimes [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} did say to [Sally]_148-sally , " How very handsome [Ruth]_81-ruth is grown ! "_{[143-mr benson]} To which [Sally]_148-sally made ungracious answer , " Yes ! [she]_81-ruth 's well enough . Beauty is deceitful , and favour a snare , and [I]_148-sally 'm thankful [the Lord]_{4327-the lord} has spared [me]_148-sally from such man - traps and spring - guns . "_[148-sally] But even [Sally]_148-sally could not help secretly admiring [Ruth]_81-ruth . If [her]_81-ruth early brilliancy of colour was gone , a clear ivory skin , as smooth as satin , told of complete and perfect health , and was as lovely , if not so striking in effect , as the banished lilies and roses . [Her]_81-ruth hair had grown darker and deeper , in the shadow that lingered in its masses ; [her]_81-ruth eyes , even if [you]_2321-you could have guessed that they had shed bitter tears in [their]_2322-their day , had a thoughtful , spiritual look about [them]_2322-their , that made [you]_2321-you wonder at [their]_2322-their depth , and look -- and look again . The increase of dignity in [her]_81-ruth face had been imparted to [her]_81-ruth form . [I]_0-i do not know if [she]_81-ruth had grown taller since the birth of [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} , but [she]_81-ruth looked as if [she]_81-ruth had . And although [she]_81-ruth had lived in [a very humble home]_{2324-a very humble home} , yet there was something about either it or [her]_81-ruth , or [the people amongst whom [she]_81-ruth had been thrown during the last few years]_{2325-the people amongst whom she had been thrown during the last few years} , which had so changed [her]_81-ruth , that whereas , six or seven years ago , [you]_2321-you would have perceived that [she]_81-ruth was not altogether [a lady by birth and education]_{2326-a lady by birth and education} , yet now [she]_81-ruth might have been placed among the highest in [the land]_{1248-the land} , and would have been taken by [the most critical judge]_{2328-the most critical judge} for [their]_{2328-the most critical judge} equal , although ignorant of [their]_{2328-the most critical judge} conventional etiquette -- an ignorance which [she]_81-ruth would have acknowledged in a simple child - like way , being unconscious of any false shame . [Her]_81-ruth whole heart was in [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} . [She]_81-ruth often feared that [she]_81-ruth loved [him]_{2051-her boy} too much -- more than [God]_104-leonard [Himself]_{2051-her boy} -- yet [she]_81-ruth could not bear to pray to have [her]_81-ruth love for [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} lessened . But [she]_81-ruth would kneel down by [his]_{2051-her boy} little bed at night -- at the deep , still midnight -- with the stars that kept watch over [Rizpah]_204-rizpah shining down upon [her]_81-ruth , and tell [God]_104-leonard what [I]_0-i have now told [you]_2331-you , that [she]_81-ruth feared [she]_81-ruth loved [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} too much , yet could not , would not , love [him]_{2051-her boy} less ; and speak to [Him]_{2051-her boy} of [her]_81-ruth one treasure as [she]_81-ruth could speak to [no earthly friend]_{2333-no earthly friend} . And so , unconsciously , [her]_81-ruth love for [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} led [her]_81-ruth up to love to [God]_104-leonard , to [the All - knowing , who read [her]_81-ruth heart]_{2335-the all - knowing , who read her heart} . It might be superstition -- [I]_0-i dare say it was -- but , somehow , [she]_81-ruth never lay down to rest without saying , as [she]_81-ruth looked [her]_81-ruth last on [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} , " [Thy]_5286-thy will , not [mine]_81-ruth , be done ; "_[81-ruth] and even while [she]_81-ruth trembled and shrank with infinite dread from sounding the depths of what that will might be , [she]_81-ruth felt as if [her]_81-ruth treasure were more secure to waken up rosy and bright in the morning , as one over whose slumbers [[God]_104-leonard 's holy angels]_{2337-god 's holy angels} had watched , for the very words which [she]_81-ruth had turned away in sick terror from realising the night before . [Her]_81-ruth daily absence at [her]_81-ruth duties to [the Bradshaw children]_{2338-the bradshaw children} only ministered to [her]_81-ruth love for [Leonard]_104-leonard . Everything does minister to love when its foundation lies deep in a true heart , and it was with an exquisite pang of delight that , after a moment of vague fear , ( Oh , mercy ! to [myself]_0-i [I]_0-i said , If [Lucy]_205-lucy should be dead ! ) , [she]_81-ruth saw [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's bright face of welcome as [he]_104-leonard threw open the door every afternoon on [her]_81-ruth return [home]_4124-home . For it was [his]_104-leonard silently - appointed work to listen for [her]_81-ruth knock , and rush breathless to let [her]_81-ruth in . If [he]_104-leonard were in [the garden]_{783-the garden} , or upstairs among the treasures of [the lumber - room]_{2342-the lumber - room} , either [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , or [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} , or [Sally]_148-sally , would fetch [him]_104-leonard to [his]_104-leonard happy little task ; [no one]_{517-no one} so sacred as [he]_104-leonard to the allotted duty . And the joyous meeting was not deadened by custom , to either [mother]_4127-mother or [child]_895-child . [Ruth]_81-ruth gave [the Bradshaws]_{206-the bradshaws} the highest satisfaction , as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} often said both to [her]_81-ruth and to [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} ; indeed , [she]_81-ruth rather winced under [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} pompous approbation . But [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} favourite recreation was patronising ; and when [Ruth]_81-ruth saw how quietly and meekly [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} submitted to gifts and praise , when an honest word of affection , or a tacit , implied acknowledgment of equality , would have been worth everything said and done , [she]_81-ruth tried to be more meek in spirit , and to recognise the good that undoubtedly existed in [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was richer and more prosperous than [ever;--a keen , far - seeing man of business , with an undisguised contempt for all who failed in the success which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had achieved]_{2347-ever;--a keen , far - seeing man of business , with an undisguised contempt for all who failed in the success which he had achieved} . But it was not alone those who were less fortunate in obtaining wealth than [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} visited with severity of judgment ; every moral error or delinquency came under [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} unsparing comment . Stained by no vice [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} , either in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own eyes or in that of [any human being who cared to judge [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , having nicely and wisely proportioned and adapted [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} means to [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} ends]_{2348-any human being who cared to judge him , having nicely and wisely proportioned and adapted his means to his ends} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could afford to speak and act with a severity which was almost sanctimonious in its ostentation of thankfulness as to [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} . Not a misfortune or a sin was brought to light but [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} could trace it to its cause in some former mode of action , which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had long ago foretold would lead to shame . If [[another]_2349-another 's son]_{2350-another 's son} turned out wild or bad , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had little sympathy ; it might have been prevented by a stricter rule , or more religious life at [home]_4124-home ; [young Richard Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was quiet and steady , and [other fathers]_{2352-other fathers} might have had [sons]_2353-sons like [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} if [they]_2353-sons had taken the same pains to enforce obedience . [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [an only son]_{2354-an only son} , and yet [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} might venture to say , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had never had [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own way in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} life . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} confessed ( [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not dislike confessing [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wife]_{737-his wife} 's errors ) , rather less firm than [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} should have liked with [the girls]_{414-the girls} ; and with [some people]_{1567-some people} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} believed , [Jemima]_217-jemima was rather headstrong ; but to [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wishes [she]_217-jemima had always shown [herself]_217-jemima obedient . [All children]_{2358-all children} were obedient , if [[their]_{2358-all children} parents]_{2359-their parents} were decided and authoritative ; and [every one]_{1129-every one} would turn out well , if properly managed . If [they]_{2358-all children} did not prove good , [they]_{2358-all children} must take the consequences of [their]_{2358-all children} errors . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} murmured faintly at [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} when [his]_{730-her husband} back was turned ; but if [his]_{730-her husband} voice was heard , or [his]_{730-her husband} footsteps sounded in the distance , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was mute , and hurried [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} children]_{2362-her children} into the attitude or action most pleasing to [[their]_{2362-her children} father]_{2183-their father} . [Jemima]_217-jemima , it is true , rebelled against this manner of proceeding , which savoured to [her]_217-jemima a little of deceit ; but even [she]_217-jemima had not , as yet , overcome [her]_217-jemima awe of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} sufficiently to act independently of [him]_{730-her husband} , and according to [her]_217-jemima own sense of right -- or rather , [I]_0-i should say , according to [her]_217-jemima own warm , passionate impulses . Before [him]_{730-her husband} the wilfulness which made [her]_217-jemima dark eyes blaze out at times was hushed and still ; [he]_{730-her husband} had no idea of [her]_217-jemima self - tormenting , no notion of the almost southern jealousy which seemed to belong to [her]_217-jemima brunette complexion . [Jemima]_217-jemima was not pretty ; the flatness and shortness of [her]_217-jemima face made [her]_217-jemima almost plain ; yet [most people]_{2365-most people} looked twice at [her]_217-jemima expressive countenance , at the eyes which flamed or melted at every trifle , at the rich colour which came at every expressed emotion into [her]_217-jemima usually sallow face , at the faultless teeth which made [her]_217-jemima smile like a sunbeam . But then , again , when [she]_217-jemima thought [she]_217-jemima was not kindly treated , when a suspicion crossed [her]_217-jemima mind , or when [she]_217-jemima was angry with [herself]_217-jemima , [her]_217-jemima lips were tight - pressed together , [her]_217-jemima colour was wan and almost livid , and a stormy gloom clouded [her]_217-jemima eyes as with a film . But before [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} [her]_217-jemima words were few , and [he]_{411-her father} did not notice looks or tones . [[Her]_217-jemima brother]_{982-her brother} [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been equally silent before [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} in boyhood and early youth ; but since [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had gone to be [clerk in [a [London]_3-london house]_{2370-a london house} , preparatory to assuming [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} place as [junior partner in [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's business]_{2371-junior partner in mr bradshaw 's business}]_{2369-clerk in a london house , preparatory to assuming his place as junior partner in mr bradshaw 's business} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke more on [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} occasional visits at [home]_4124-home . And very proper and highly moral was [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} conversation ; set sentences of goodness , which were like the flowers that [children]_{1146-children} stick in the ground , and that have not sprung upwards from roots -- deep down in the hidden life and experience of the heart . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was as severe [a judge]_{5249-a judge} as [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} of [other people]_{2376-other people} 's conduct , but [you]_2377-you felt that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was sincere in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} condemnation of all outward error and vice , and that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would try [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} by the same laws as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} tried [others]_368-others ; somehow , [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's words were frequently heard with a lurking distrust , and [many]_652-many shook [their]_652-many heads over [the pattern son]_{2380-the pattern son} ; but then it was those whose [sons had gone astray , and been condemned , in no private or tender manner]_{2381-sons had gone astray , and been condemned , in no private or tender manner} , by [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , so it might be revenge in [them]_2382-them . Still , [Jemima]_217-jemima felt that all was not right ; [her]_217-jemima heart sympathised in the rebellion against [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} 's commands , which [[her]_217-jemima brother]_{982-her brother} had confessed to [her]_217-jemima in an unusual moment of confidence , but [her]_217-jemima uneasy conscience condemned the deceit which [he]_{982-her brother} had practised . [The brother]_{1706-the brother} and [sister]_4728-sister were sitting alone over a blazing Christmas fire , and [Jemima]_217-jemima held an old newspaper in [her]_217-jemima hand to shield [her]_217-jemima face from the hot light . [They]_2387-they were talking of family events , when , during a pause , [Jemima]_217-jemima 's eye caught the name of [a great actor , who had lately given prominence and life to [a character in one of [Shakspeare]_{207-shakspeare} 's plays]_{2389-a character in one of shakspeare 's plays}]_{2388-a great actor , who had lately given prominence and life to a character in one of shakspeare 's plays} . The criticism in the paper was fine , and warmed [Jemima]_217-jemima 's heart . " How [I]_217-jemima should like to see a play ! "_[217-jemima] exclaimed [she]_217-jemima . " Should [you]_217-jemima ? "_{[982-her brother]} said [[her]_217-jemima brother]_{982-her brother} , listlessly . " Yes , to be sure ! Just hear this ! "_[217-jemima] and [she]_217-jemima began to read a fine passage of criticism . " [Those newspaper people]_{5287-those newspaper people} can make an article out of anything , "_{[982-her brother]} said [he]_{982-her brother} , yawning . " [I]_{982-her brother} 've seen [the man]_{5002-the man} [myself]_{982-her brother} , and it was all very well , but nothing to make such a fuss about . "_{[982-her brother]} " [You]_217-jemima ! [you]_217-jemima seen ---- ! Have [you]_217-jemima seen a play , [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} ? Oh , why did [you]_217-jemima never tell [me]_{982-her brother} before ? Tell [me]_{982-her brother} all about it ! Why did [you]_217-jemima never name seeing ---- in [your]_217-jemima letters ? "_{[982-her brother]} [He]_{982-her brother} half smiled , contemptuously enough . " Oh ! at first it strikes one rather , but after a while [one]_321-one cares no more for the theatre than [one]_321-one does for mince - pies . "_{[982-her brother]} " Oh , [I]_217-jemima wish [I]_217-jemima might go to [London]_3-london ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , impatiently . " [I]_217-jemima 've a great mind to ask [papa]_4310-papa to let [me]_217-jemima go to [the George Smiths ']_{5292-the george smiths '} , and then [I]_217-jemima could see ---- . [I]_217-jemima would not think [him]_{982-her brother} like mince - pies . "_[217-jemima] " [You]_217-jemima must not do any such thing ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} , now neither yawning nor contemptuous . " [[My]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{4925-my father} would never allow [you]_217-jemima to go to [the theatre]_{5294-the theatre} ; and [the George Smiths]_80-george are [such old fogeys]_{5295-such old fogeys} -- [they]_{5295-such old fogeys} would be sure to tell . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " How do [you]_217-jemima go , then ? Does [[my]_217-jemima father]_{4925-my father} give [you]_217-jemima leave ? "_[217-jemima] " Oh ! many things are right for [men]_836-men which are not for [girls]_1963-girls . "_[217-jemima] [Jemima]_217-jemima sat and pondered . [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} wished [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had not been so confidential . " [You]_217-jemima need not name it , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} , rather anxiously . " Name what ? "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima , startled , for [her]_217-jemima thoughts had gone far afield . " Oh , name [my]_217-jemima going once or twice to [the theatre]_{5294-the theatre} ! "_[217-jemima] " No , [I]_217-jemima sha n't name it ! "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima . " [No one here]_{5300-no one here} would care to hear it . "_[217-jemima] But it was with some little surprise , and almost with a feeling of disgust , that [she]_217-jemima heard [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} join with [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} in condemning [some one]_{378-some one} , and add to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's list of offences , by alleging that [the young man]_{2393-the young man} was [a playgoer]_{2394-a playgoer} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not think [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} sister]_{4508-his sister} heard [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} words . [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} were [the two girls whom [Ruth]_81-ruth had in charge]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} ; [they]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} resembled [Jemima]_217-jemima more than [[their]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} brother]_{2397-their brother} in character . The household rules were occasionally a little relaxed in [their]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} favour , for [Mary]_118-mary , [the elder]_{2398-the elder} , was nearly eight years younger than [Jemima]_217-jemima , and [three intermediate children]_{2399-three intermediate children} had died . [They]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} loved [Ruth]_81-ruth dearly , made a great pet of [Leonard]_104-leonard , and had many profound secrets together , most of which related to [their]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} wonders if [Jemima]_217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} would ever be married . [They]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} watched [[their]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} sister]_{2400-their sister} closely ; and every day had some fresh confidence to make to [each other]_{579-each other} , confirming or discouraging to [their]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} hopes . [Ruth]_81-ruth rose early , and shared the household work with [Sally]_148-sally and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} till seven ; and then [she]_81-ruth helped [Leonard]_104-leonard to dress , and had a quiet time alone with [him]_104-leonard till prayers and breakfast . At nine [she]_81-ruth was to be at [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's house]_{2402-mr bradshaw 's house} . [She]_81-ruth sat in [the room]_{357-the room} with [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} during the Latin , the writing , and arithmetic lessons , which [they]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} received from [masters]_2404-masters ; then [she]_81-ruth read , and walked with [them]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} , [they]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} clinging to [her]_81-ruth as to [an elder sister]_{2405-an elder sister} ; [she]_81-ruth dined with [[her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} at the family lunch , and reached [home]_4124-home by four . [That happy home]_{2408-that happy home} -- those quiet days ! And so the peaceful days passed on into weeks , and months , and years , and [Ruth]_81-ruth and [Leonard]_104-leonard grew and strengthened into the riper beauty of [their]_{2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge} respective ages ; while as yet no touch of decay had come on [the quaint , primitive elders of [the household]_{1179-the household}]_{2409-the quaint , primitive elders of the household} . CHAPTER XX [Jemima]_217-jemima Refuses to Be Managed It was no wonder that [the lookers - on]_{2411-the lookers - on} were perplexed as to the state of affairs between [Jemima]_217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , for [they]_{2411-the lookers - on} too were sorely puzzled [themselves]_{2411-the lookers - on} at the sort of relationship between [them]_2412-them . Was it love , or was it not ? that was the question in [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's mind . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} hoped it was not ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} believed it was not ; and yet [he]_{193-mr farquhar} felt as if it were . There was something preposterous , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} thought , in [a man nearly forty years of age]_{2413-a man nearly forty years of age} being in love with [a girl of twenty]_{2414-a girl of twenty} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} had gone on reasoning through all the days of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} manhood on the idea of [a staid , noble - minded wife]_{2415-a staid , noble - minded wife} , grave and sedate , [the fit companion in experience of [[her]_{2415-a staid , noble - minded wife} husband]_{730-her husband}]_{2416-the fit companion in experience of her husband} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} had spoken with admiration of [reticent characters]_{2418-reticent characters} , full of self - control and dignity ; and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} hoped -- [he]_{193-mr farquhar} trusted , that all this time [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had not been allowing [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} unconsciously to fall in love with [a wild - hearted , impetuous girl , who knew nothing of life beyond [[her]_{2419-a wild - hearted , impetuous girl , who knew nothing of life beyond her father 's house , and who chafed under the strict discipline enforced there} father]_{411-her father} 's house , and who chafed under the strict discipline enforced [there]_332-there]_{2419-a wild - hearted , impetuous girl , who knew nothing of life beyond her father 's house , and who chafed under the strict discipline enforced there} . For it was rather a suspicious symptom of the state of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's affections , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had discovered the silent rebellion which continued in [Jemima]_217-jemima 's heart , unperceived by [any of [[her]_217-jemima own family]_{2423-her own family}]_{2422-any of her own family} , against the severe laws and opinions of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} shared in these opinions ; but in [him]_{193-mr farquhar} they were modified , and took a milder form . Still , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} approved of much that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} did and said ; and this made it all the more strange that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} should wince so for [Jemima]_217-jemima , whenever anything took place which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} instinctively knew that [she]_217-jemima would dislike . After an evening at [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's]_{2425-mr bradshaw 's} , when [Jemima]_217-jemima had gone to the very verge of questioning or disputing some of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's severe judgments , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} went [home]_4124-home in a dissatisfied , restless state of mind , which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was almost afraid to analyse . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} admired the inflexible integrity -- and almost the pomp of principle -- evinced by [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} on every occasion ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} wondered how it was that [Jemima]_217-jemima could not see how grand a life might be , whose every action was shaped in obedience to some eternal law ; instead of which , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was afraid [she]_217-jemima rebelled against every law , and was only guided by impulse . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had been taught to dread impulses as promptings of the devil . Sometimes , if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} tried to present [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's opinions before [her]_217-jemima in another form , so as to bring [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} and [her]_217-jemima rather more into that state of agreement [he]_{193-mr farquhar} longed for , [she]_217-jemima flashed out upon [him]_{193-mr farquhar} with the indignation of difference that [she]_217-jemima dared not show to , or before , [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} , as if [she]_217-jemima had some diviner instinct which taught [her]_217-jemima more truly than [they]_2430-their knew , with all [their]_2430-their experience ; at least , in [her]_217-jemima first expressions there seemed something good and fine ; but opposition made [her]_217-jemima angry and irritable , and the arguments which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was constantly provoking ( whenever [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was with [her]_217-jemima in [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's absence ) frequently ended in some vehemence of expression on [her]_217-jemima part that offended [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , who did not see how [she]_217-jemima expiated [her]_217-jemima anger in tears and self - reproaches when alone in [[her]_217-jemima chamber]_{2432-her chamber} . Then [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would lecture [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} severely on the interest [he]_{193-mr farquhar} could not help feeling in [a wilful girl]_{2433-a wilful girl} ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would determine not to interfere with [her]_217-jemima opinions in future , and yet , the very next time [they]_2430-their differed , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} strove to argue [her]_217-jemima into harmony with [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} , in spite of all resolutions to the contrary . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} saw just enough of this interest which [Jemima]_217-jemima had excited in [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} partner]_{2434-his partner} 's mind , to determine [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} in considering [their]_2430-their future marriage as a settled affair . The fitness of the thing had long ago struck [him]_{193-mr farquhar} ; [[[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's partner]_{2436-her father 's partner} -- so the fortune [he]_{193-mr farquhar} meant to give [her]_217-jemima might continue in the business ; [a man of such steadiness of character]_{2437-a man of such steadiness of character} , and such a capital eye for a desirable speculation as [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} -- just the right age to unite [the paternal]_{2438-the paternal} with the conjugal affection , and consequently [the very man for [Jemima]_217-jemima]_{2439-the very man for jemima} , who had something unruly in [her]_217-jemima , which might break out under a _ régime _ less wisely adjusted to the circumstances than was [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's ( in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own opinion)--a house ready - furnished , at a convenient distance from [[her]_217-jemima home]_{840-her home} -- no near relations on [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's side , who might be inclined to consider [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} residence]_{2441-his residence} as [their]_2430-their own for an indefinite time , and so add to the household expenses -- in short , what could be more suitable in every way ? [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} respected the very self - restraint [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} saw in [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's demeanour , attributing it to a wise desire to wait until trade should be rather more slack , and [the man of business]_{2442-the man of business} more at leisure to become [the lover]_{4736-the lover} . As for [Jemima]_217-jemima , at times [she]_217-jemima thought [she]_217-jemima almost hated [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . " What business has [he]_{193-mr farquhar} , "_[217-jemima] [she]_217-jemima would think , " to lecture [me]_217-jemima ? Often [I]_217-jemima can hardly bear it from [papa]_4310-papa , and [I]_217-jemima will not bear it from [him]_4310-papa . [He]_4310-papa treats [me]_217-jemima just like [a child]_{556-a child} , and as if [I]_217-jemima should lose all [my]_217-jemima present opinions when [I]_217-jemima know more of [the world]_{506-the world} . [I]_217-jemima am sure [I]_217-jemima should like never to know [the world]_{506-the world} , if it was to make [me]_217-jemima think as [he]_4310-papa does , hard man that [he]_4310-papa is ! [I]_217-jemima wonder what made [him]_4310-papa take [Jem Brown]_102-jemima on as [gardener]_{5305-gardener} again , if [he]_4310-papa does not believe that above [one criminal in a thousand]_{5306-one criminal in a thousand} is restored to goodness . [I]_217-jemima 'll ask [him]_4310-papa , some day , if that was not acting on impulse rather than principle . Poor impulse ! how [you]_5307-you do get abused . But [I]_217-jemima will tell [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} [I]_217-jemima will not let [him]_4310-papa interfere with [me]_217-jemima . If [I]_217-jemima do what [papa]_4310-papa bids [me]_217-jemima , [no one]_{517-no one} has a right to notice whether [I]_217-jemima do it willingly or not . "_[217-jemima] So then [she]_2444-she tried to defy [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , by doing and saying things that [she]_2444-she knew [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would disapprove . [She]_2444-she went so far that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was seriously grieved , and did not even remonstrate and " lecture , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} and then [she]_2444-she was disappointed and irritated ; for , somehow , with all [her]_2444-she indignation at interference , [she]_2444-she liked to be lectured by [him]_{193-mr farquhar} ; not that [she]_2444-she was aware of this liking of [hers]_2444-she , but still it would have been more pleasant to be scolded than so quietly passed over . [[Her]_2444-she two little sisters]_{2445-her two little sisters} , with [their]_{2445-her two little sisters} wide - awake eyes , had long ago put things together , and conjectured . Every day [they]_{2445-her two little sisters} had some fresh mystery together , to be imparted in garden walks and whispered talks . " [Lizzie]_{195-elizabeth} , did [you]_{195-elizabeth} see how the tears came into [Mimie]_208-mimie 's eyes when [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} looked so displeased when [she]_208-mimie said [good people]_{5310-good people} were always dull ? [I]_118-mary think [she]_208-mimie 's in love . "_[118-mary] [Mary]_118-mary said the last words with grave emphasis , and felt like [an oracle of twelve years of age]_{2446-an oracle of twelve years of age} . " [I]_{195-elizabeth} do n't , "_{[195-elizabeth]} said [Lizzie]_{195-elizabeth} . " [I]_{195-elizabeth} know [I]_{195-elizabeth} cry often enough when [papa]_4310-papa is cross , and [I]_{195-elizabeth} 'm not in love with [him]_4310-papa . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " Yes ! but [you]_{195-elizabeth} do n't look as [Mimie]_208-mimie did . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " Do n't call [her]_208-mimie [Mimie]_208-mimie -- [you]_{195-elizabeth} know [papa]_4310-papa does not like it . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " Yes ; but there are so many things [papa]_209-papa does not like [I]_{195-elizabeth} can never remember them all . Never mind about that ; but listen to something [I]_{195-elizabeth} 've got to tell [you]_{195-elizabeth} , if [you]_{195-elizabeth} 'll never , never tell . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " No , indeed [I]_{195-elizabeth} wo n't , [Mary]_118-mary . What is it ? "_{[195-elizabeth]} " Not to [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ? "_{[195-elizabeth]} " No , not even to [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " Well , then , the other day -- last Friday , [Mimie--]_210-mimie-- "_{[195-elizabeth]} " [Jemima]_102-jemima ! "_{[195-elizabeth]} interrupted [the more conscientious Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . " [Jemima]_102-jemima , if it must be so , "_{[195-elizabeth]} jerked out [Mary]_118-mary , " sent [me]_{195-elizabeth} to [her]_102-jemima desk for an envelope , and what do [you]_{195-elizabeth} think [I]_{195-elizabeth} saw ? "_{[195-elizabeth]} " What ? "_{[195-elizabeth]} asked [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , expecting nothing less than a red - hot [Valentine]_{211-valentine} , signed [Walter Farquhar]_212-walter , [_ pro _ Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , and [Co.]_213-co. , in full . " Why , a piece of paper , with dull - looking lines upon it , just like the scientific dialogues ; and [I]_213-co. remembered all about it . It was once when [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had been telling [us]_5313-us that a bullet does not go in a straight line , but in a something curve , and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} drew some lines on a piece of paper ; and [Mimie--]_210-mimie-- "_[213-co.] " [Jemima]_102-jemima , "_{[195-elizabeth]} put in [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . " Well , well ! [she]_102-jemima had treasured it up , and written in a corner , ' W. F. , April 3rd . ' Now , that 's rather like love , is not it ? For [Jemima]_102-jemima hates useful information just as much as [I]_{195-elizabeth} do , and that 's saying a great deal ; and yet [she]_102-jemima had kept this paper , and dated it . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " If that 's all , [I]_213-co. know [Dick]_214-dick keeps a paper with [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's name written on it , and yet [he]_214-dick 's not in love with [her]_102-jemima ; and perhaps [Jemima]_102-jemima may like [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} may not like [her]_102-jemima . It seems such a little while since [her]_102-jemima hair was turned up , and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} has always been [a grave middle - aged man]_{5314-a grave middle - aged man} ever since [I]_213-co. can recollect ; and then , have [you]_{195-elizabeth} never noticed how often [he]_{193-mr farquhar} finds fault with [her]_102-jemima -- almost lectures [her]_102-jemima ? "_[213-co.] " To be sure , "_[118-mary] said [Mary]_118-mary ; " but [he]_{193-mr farquhar} may be in love , for all that . Just think how often [papa]_209-papa lectures [mamma]_4143-mamma ; and yet , of course , [they]_5316-they 're in love with [each other]_{579-each other} . "_[118-mary] " Well ! [we]_5318-we shall see , "_{[195-elizabeth]} said [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . [Poor Jemima]_217-jemima little thought of the four sharp eyes that watched [her]_217-jemima daily course while [she]_217-jemima sat alone , as [she]_217-jemima fancied , with [her]_217-jemima secret in [[her]_217-jemima own room]_{2447-her own room} . For , in a passionate fit of grieving , at the impatient , hasty temper which had made [her]_217-jemima so seriously displease [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had gone away without remonstrance , without more leave - taking than a distant bow , [she]_217-jemima had begun to suspect that rather than not be noticed at all by [him]_{193-mr farquhar} , rather than be an object of indifference to [him]_{193-mr farquhar} -- oh ! far rather would [she]_217-jemima be [an object of anger and upbraiding]_{2448-an object of anger and upbraiding} ; and the thoughts that followed this confession to [herself]_217-jemima , stunned and bewildered [her]_217-jemima ; and for once that they made [her]_217-jemima dizzy with hope , ten times they made [her]_217-jemima sick with fear . For an instant [she]_217-jemima planned to become and to be all [he]_{193-mr farquhar} could wish [her]_217-jemima ; to change [her]_217-jemima very nature for [him]_{193-mr farquhar} . And then a great gush of pride came over [her]_217-jemima , and [she]_217-jemima set [her]_217-jemima teeth tight together , and determined that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} should either love [her]_217-jemima as [she]_217-jemima was , or not at all . Unless [he]_{193-mr farquhar} could take [her]_217-jemima with all [her]_217-jemima faults , [she]_217-jemima would not care for [his]_{193-mr farquhar} regard ; " love "_[217-jemima] was too noble a word to call such cold , calculating feeling as [his]_{193-mr farquhar} must be , who went about with a pattern idea in [his]_{193-mr farquhar} mind , trying to find [a wife to match]_{2449-a wife to match} . Besides , there was something degrading , [Jemima]_217-jemima thought , in trying to alter [herself]_217-jemima to gain the love of [any human creature]_{2450-any human creature} . And yet , if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did not care for [her]_217-jemima , if this late indifference were to last , what a great shroud was drawn over life ! Could [she]_217-jemima bear it ? From the agony [she]_217-jemima dared not look at , but which [she]_217-jemima was going to risk encountering , [she]_217-jemima was aroused by the presence of [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} . " [Jemima]_217-jemima ! [[your]_217-jemima father]_{5319-your father} wants to speak to [you]_217-jemima in [the dining - room]_{5320-the dining - room} . "_{[710-her mother]} " What for ? "_{[1016-the girl]} asked [the girl]_{1016-the girl} . " Oh ! [he]_{5319-your father} is fidgeted by something [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} said to [me]_{1016-the girl} , and which [I]_{1016-the girl} repeated . [I]_{1016-the girl} am sure [I]_{1016-the girl} thought there was no harm in it , and [[your]_217-jemima father]_{5319-your father} always likes [me]_{1016-the girl} to tell [him]_{5319-your father} what [everybody]_{505-everybody} says in [his]_{5319-your father} absence . "_{[1016-the girl]} [Jemima]_217-jemima went with a heavy heart into [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's presence . [He]_{411-her father} was walking up and down [the room]_{357-the room} , and did not see [her]_217-jemima at first . " Oh , [Jemima]_217-jemima ! is that [you]_217-jemima ? Has [[your]_217-jemima mother]_{4264-your mother} told [you]_217-jemima what [I]_{411-her father} want to speak to [you]_217-jemima about ? "_{[411-her father]} " No ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima . " Not exactly . "_[217-jemima] " [She]_{4264-your mother} has been telling [me]_{411-her father} what proves to [me]_{411-her father} how very seriously [you]_217-jemima must have displeased and offended [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , before [he]_{411-her father} could have expressed [himself]_{411-her father} to [her]_{4264-your mother} as [he]_{411-her father} did , when [he]_{411-her father} left [the house]_{426-the house} . [You]_217-jemima know what [he]_{411-her father} said ? "_{[411-her father]} " No ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , [her]_217-jemima heart swelling within [her]_217-jemima . " [He]_{411-her father} has no right to say anything about [me]_217-jemima . "_[217-jemima] [She]_217-jemima was desperate , or [she]_217-jemima durst not have said this before [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} . " No right!--what do [you]_217-jemima mean , [Jemima]_217-jemima ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , turning sharp round . " Surely [you]_217-jemima must know that [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} hope [he]_{411-her father} may one day be [[your]_217-jemima husband]_{5325-your husband} ; that is to say , if [you]_217-jemima prove [yourself]_217-jemima worthy of the excellent training [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have given [you]_217-jemima . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} can not suppose [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} would take [any undisciplined girl]_{5326-any undisciplined girl} as [a wife]_{5327-a wife} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Jemima]_217-jemima held tight by a chair near which [she]_217-jemima was standing . [She]_217-jemima did not speak ; [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} was pleased by [her]_217-jemima silence -- it was the way in which [he]_{411-her father} liked [his]_{411-her father} projects to be received . " But [you]_217-jemima can not suppose , "_{[411-her father]} [he]_{411-her father} continued , " that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} will consent to marry [you--]_217-jemima "_{[411-her father]} " Consent to marry [me]_217-jemima ! "_[217-jemima] repeated [Jemima]_217-jemima , in a low tone of brooding indignation ; were those the terms upon which [[her]_217-jemima rich woman]_{2457-her rich woman} 's heart was to be given , with a calm consent of acquiescent acceptance , but a little above resignation on the part of [the receiver]_{2458-the receiver} ? --"if [you]_217-jemima give way to a temper which , although [you]_217-jemima have never dared to show it to [me]_{411-her father} , [I]_{411-her father} am well aware exists , although [I]_{411-her father} hoped the habits of self - examination [I]_{411-her father} had instilled had done much to cure [you]_217-jemima of manifesting it . At one time , [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} promised to be the more headstrong of [the two]_{1675-the two} ; now , [I]_{411-her father} must desire [you]_217-jemima to take pattern by [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . Yes , "_{[411-her father]} [he]_{411-her father} continued , falling into [his]_{411-her father} old train of thought , " it would be a most fortunate connexion for [you]_217-jemima in every way . [I]_{411-her father} should have [you]_217-jemima under [my]_{411-her father} own eye , and could still assist [you]_217-jemima in the formation of [your]_217-jemima character , and [I]_{411-her father} should be at hand to strengthen and confirm [your]_217-jemima principles . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's connexion with [the firm]_{5329-the firm} would be convenient and agreeable to [me]_{411-her father} in a pecuniary point of view . [He--]_{193-mr farquhar} "_{[411-her father]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was going on in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} enumeration of the advantages which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} in particular , and [Jemima]_217-jemima in the second place , would derive from this marriage , when [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} spoke , at first so low that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could not hear [her]_{2158-his daughter} , as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} walked up and down [the room]_{357-the room} with [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} creaking boots , and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had to stop to listen . " Has [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ever spoken to [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} about it ? "_[217-jemima] [Jemima]_217-jemima 's cheek was flushed as [she]_217-jemima asked the question ; [she]_217-jemima wished that [she]_217-jemima might have been [the person to whom [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had first addressed [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw}]_{2461-the person to whom he had first addressed himself} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} answered , " No , not spoken . It has been implied between [us]_5330-us for some time . At least , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have been so aware of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} intentions that [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have made several allusions , in the course of business , to it , as a thing that might take place . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} can hardly have misunderstood ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} must have seen that [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} perceived [his]_{193-mr farquhar} design , and approved of it , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , rather doubtfully ; as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} remembered how very little , in fact , passed between [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} partner]_{2434-his partner} which could have reference to the subject , to any but a mind prepared to receive it . Perhaps [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had not really thought of it ; but then again , that would imply that [his]_{193-mr farquhar} own penetration had been mistaken , a thing not impossible certainly , but quite beyond the range of probability . So [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} reassured [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and ( as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought ) [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} , by saying , " The whole thing is so suitable -- the advantages arising from the connexion are so obvious ; besides which , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am quite aware , from many little speeches of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} contemplates marriage at no very distant time ; and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} seldom leaves [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , and visits [few families besides [our]_5332-our own]_{5331-few families besides our own} -- certainly , none that can compare with [ours]_5332-our in the advantages [you]_5333-you have all received in moral and religious training . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} But then [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was checked in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} implied praises of [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} ( and only [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} could be [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} martingale]_{2464-his martingale} when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} once set out on such a career ) by a recollection that [Jemima]_217-jemima must not feel too secure , as [she]_217-jemima might become if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} dwelt too much on the advantages of [her]_217-jemima being [[[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's daughter]_{2466-her father 's daughter} . Accordingly , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} said : " But [you]_217-jemima must be aware , [Jemima]_217-jemima , that [you]_217-jemima do very little credit to the education [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have given [you]_217-jemima , when [you]_217-jemima make such an impression as [you]_217-jemima must have done to - day , before [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} could have said what [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did of [you]_217-jemima ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " What did [he]_{193-mr farquhar} say ? "_[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , still in the low , husky tone of suppressed anger . " [[Your]_217-jemima mother]_{4264-your mother} says [he]_{193-mr farquhar} remarked to [her]_{4264-your mother} , ' What a pity it is , that [Jemima]_217-jemima can not maintain [her]_217-jemima opinions without going into a passion ; and what a pity it is , that [her]_217-jemima opinions are such as to sanction , rather than curb , these fits of rudeness and anger ! ' "_[217-jemima] " Did [he]_{193-mr farquhar} say that ? "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , in a still lower tone , not questioning [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} , but speaking rather to [herself]_217-jemima . " [I]_{411-her father} have no doubt [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did , "_{[411-her father]} replied [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} , gravely . " [[Your]_217-jemima mother]_{4264-your mother} is in the habit of repeating accurately to [me]_{411-her father} what takes place in [my]_{411-her father} absence ; besides which , the whole speech is not one of [hers]_{4264-your mother} ; [she]_{4264-your mother} has not altered a word in the repetition , [I]_{411-her father} am convinced . [I]_{411-her father} have trained [her]_{4264-your mother} to habits of accuracy very unusual in [a woman]_{834-a woman} . "_{[411-her father]} At another time , [Jemima]_217-jemima might have been inclined to rebel against this system of carrying constant intelligence to headquarters , which [she]_217-jemima had long ago felt as an insurmountable obstacle to any free communication with [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} ; but now , [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's means of acquiring knowledge faded into insignificance before the nature of the information [he]_{411-her father} imparted . [She]_217-jemima stood quite still , grasping the chair - back , longing to be dismissed . " [I]_217-jemima have said enough now , [I]_217-jemima hope , to make [you]_217-jemima behave in a becoming manner to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ; if [your]_217-jemima temper is too unruly to be always under [your]_217-jemima own control , at least have respect to [my]_217-jemima injunctions , and take some pains to curb it before [him]_{193-mr farquhar} . "_[217-jemima] " May [I]_217-jemima go ? "_[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , chafing more and more . " [You]_217-jemima may , "_{[411-her father]} said [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} . When [she]_217-jemima left [the room]_{357-the room} [he]_{411-her father} gently rubbed [his]_{411-her father} hands together , satisfied with the effect [he]_{411-her father} had produced , and wondering how it was , that one so well brought up as [[his]_{411-her father} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} could ever say or do anything to provoke such a remark from [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} as that which [he]_{411-her father} had heard repeated . " Nothing can be more gentle and docile than [she]_{2158-his daughter} is when spoken to in the proper manner . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} must give [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} a hint , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} to [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [Jemima]_217-jemima rushed [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , and locked [herself]_217-jemima into [[her]_217-jemima room]_{792-her room} . [She]_217-jemima began pacing up and down at first , without shedding a tear ; but then [she]_217-jemima suddenly stopped , and burst out crying with passionate indignation . " So ! [I]_217-jemima am to behave well , not because it is right -- not because it is right -- but to show off before [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . Oh , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ! "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima , suddenly changing to a sort of upbraiding tone of voice , " [I]_217-jemima did not think so of [you]_{193-mr farquhar} an hour ago . [I]_217-jemima did not think [you]_{193-mr farquhar} could choose [a wife]_{5327-a wife} in that cold - hearted way , though [you]_{193-mr farquhar} did profess to act by rule and line ; but [you]_{193-mr farquhar} think to have [me]_217-jemima , do [you]_{193-mr farquhar} ? because it is fitting and suitable , and [you]_{193-mr farquhar} want to be married , and ca n't spare time for wooing "_[217-jemima] ( [she]_217-jemima was lashing [herself]_217-jemima up by an exaggeration of all [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} had said ) . " And how often [I]_2477-i have thought [you]_{193-mr farquhar} were too grand for [me]_2477-i ! but now [I]_2477-i know better . Now [I]_2477-i can believe that all [you]_{193-mr farquhar} do is done from calculation ; [you]_{193-mr farquhar} are good because it adds to [your]_{193-mr farquhar} business credit -- [you]_{193-mr farquhar} talk in that high strain about principle because it sounds well , and is respectable -- and even these things are better than [your]_{193-mr farquhar} cold way of looking out for [a wife]_{5327-a wife} , just as [you]_{193-mr farquhar} would do for [a carpet]_{5339-a carpet} , to add to [your]_{193-mr farquhar} comforts , and settle [you]_{193-mr farquhar} respectably . But [I]_2477-i wo n't be [that wife]_{5340-that wife} . [You]_{193-mr farquhar} shall see something of [me]_2477-i which shall make [you]_{193-mr farquhar} not acquiesce so quietly in the arrangements of the firm . "_[2477-i] [She]_2477-i cried too vehemently to go on thinking or speaking . Then [she]_2477-i stopped , and said : " Only an hour ago [I]_2477-i was hoping -- [I]_2477-i do n't know what [I]_2477-i was hoping -- but [I]_2477-i thought -- oh ! how [I]_2477-i was deceived!--I thought [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had a true , deep , loving , manly heart , which [God]_104-leonard might let [me]_2477-i win ; but now [I]_2477-i know [he]_{193-mr farquhar} has only a calm , calculating head-- "_[2477-i] If [Jemima]_217-jemima had been vehement and passionate before this conversation with [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} , it was better than the sullen reserve [she]_217-jemima assumed now whenever [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} came to [the house]_{426-the house} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} felt it deeply ; no reasoning with [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} took off the pain [he]_{193-mr farquhar} experienced . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} tried to speak on the subjects [she]_217-jemima liked , in the manner [she]_217-jemima liked , until [he]_{193-mr farquhar} despised [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} for the unsuccessful efforts . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} stood between [her]_217-jemima and [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} once or twice , in obvious inconsistency with [his]_{193-mr farquhar} own previously expressed opinions ; and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} piqued [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} upon [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} admirable management , in making [Jemima]_217-jemima feel that [she]_217-jemima owed [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} indulgence or forbearance to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's interference ; but [Jemima]_217-jemima -- [perverse , miserable Jemima]_217-jemima -- thought that [she]_217-jemima hated [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} all the more . [She]_217-jemima respected [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} inflexible , much more than [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} pompously giving up to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's subdued remonstrances on [her]_217-jemima behalf . Even [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was perplexed , and shut [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} up to consider how [Jemima]_217-jemima was to be made more fully to understand [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wishes and [her]_217-jemima own interests . But there was nothing to take hold of as a ground for any further conversation with [her]_217-jemima . [Her]_217-jemima actions were so submissive that they were spiritless ; [she]_217-jemima did all [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} desired ; [she]_217-jemima did it with a nervous quickness and haste , if [she]_217-jemima thought that otherwise [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} would interfere in any way . [She]_217-jemima wished evidently to owe nothing to [him]_{193-mr farquhar} . [She]_217-jemima had begun by leaving [the room]_{357-the room} when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} came in , after the conversation [she]_217-jemima had had with [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} ; but at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's first expression of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wish that [she]_217-jemima should remain , [she]_217-jemima remained -- silent , indifferent , inattentive to all that was going on ; at least there was this appearance of inattention . [She]_217-jemima would work away at [her]_217-jemima sewing as if [she]_217-jemima were to earn [her]_217-jemima livelihood by it ; the light was gone out of [her]_217-jemima eyes as [she]_217-jemima lifted them up heavily before replying to any question , and the eyelids were often swollen with crying . But in all this there was no positive fault . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} could not have told [her]_217-jemima not to do this , or to do that , without [her]_217-jemima doing it ; for [she]_217-jemima had become much more docile of late . It was a wonderful proof of the influence [Ruth]_81-ruth had gained in [the family]_{693-the family} , that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , after much deliberation , congratulated [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} on the wise determination [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had made of requesting [her]_217-jemima to speak to [Jemima]_217-jemima , and find out what feeling was at the bottom of all this change in [her]_217-jemima ways of going on . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} rang the bell . " Is [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} [here]_4172-here ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} inquired of [the servant who answered it]_{2487-the servant who answered it} . " Yes , [sir]_4181-sir ; [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} is just come . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " Beg [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} to come to [me]_81-ruth in [this room]_{4221-this room} as soon as [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} can leave [the young ladies]_{5344-the young ladies} . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth came . " Sit down , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ; sit down . [I]_2488-i want to have a little conversation with [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} ; not about [[your]_{156-mrs denbigh} pupils]_{5345-your pupils} , [they]_{5345-your pupils} are going on well under [your]_{156-mrs denbigh} care , [I]_2488-i am sure ; and [I]_2488-i often congratulate [myself]_2488-i on the choice [I]_2488-i made -- [I]_2488-i assure [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} [I]_2488-i do . But now [I]_2488-i want to speak to [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} about [Jemima]_217-jemima . [She]_217-jemima is very fond of [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} , and perhaps [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} could take some opportunity of observing to [her]_217-jemima -- in short , of saying to [her]_217-jemima , that [she]_217-jemima is behaving very foolishly -- in fact , disgusting [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ( who was , [I]_2488-i know , inclined to like [her]_217-jemima ) by the sullen , sulky way [she]_217-jemima behaves in , when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} is by . "_[2488-i] [He]_2488-i paused for the ready acquiescence [he]_2488-i expected . But [Ruth]_81-ruth did not quite comprehend what was required of [her]_81-ruth , and disliked the glimpse [she]_81-ruth had gained of the task very much . " [I]_81-ruth hardly understand , [sir]_4181-sir . [You]_4181-sir are displeased with [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's manners to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . "_[81-ruth] " Well , well ! not quite that ; [I]_2488-i am displeased with [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} manners -- they are sulky and abrupt , particularly when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} is by -- and [I]_2488-i want [you]_4181-sir ( of whom [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} is so fond ) to speak to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} about it . "_[2488-i] " But [I]_81-ruth have never had the opportunity of noticing them . Whenever [I]_81-ruth have seen [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} has been most gentle and affectionate . "_[81-ruth] " But [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} think [you]_4181-sir do not hesitate to believe [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} , when [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} say that [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have noticed the reverse , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , drawing [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} up . " No , [sir]_4181-sir . [I]_81-ruth beg [your]_4181-sir pardon if [I]_81-ruth have expressed [myself]_81-ruth so badly as to seem to doubt . But am [I]_81-ruth to tell [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} that [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} have spoken of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} faults to [me]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , a little astonished , and shrinking more than ever from the proposed task . " If [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} would allow [me]_81-ruth to finish what [I]_81-ruth have got to say , without interruption , [I]_81-ruth could then tell [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} what [I]_81-ruth do wish . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth beg [your]_{149-mr bradshaw} pardon , [sir]_4181-sir , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , gently . " [I]_81-ruth wish [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} to join [our]_5349-our circle occasionally in an evening ; [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} shall send [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} an invitation when [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} is likely to be [here]_4172-here . Warned by [me]_81-ruth , and , consequently , with [your]_{149-mr bradshaw} observation quickened , [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} can hardly fail to notice instances of what [I]_81-ruth have pointed out ; and then [I]_81-ruth will trust to [your]_{149-mr bradshaw} own good sense "_[81-ruth] ( [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} bowed to [her]_81-ruth at this part of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} sentence ) " to find an opportunity to remonstrate with [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth was beginning to speak , but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} waved [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} hand for another minute of silence . " Only a minute , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am quite aware that , in requesting [your]_{149-mr bradshaw} presence occasionally in the evening , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} shall be trespassing upon the time which is , in fact , [your]_{149-mr bradshaw} money ; [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} may be assured that [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} shall not forget this little circumstance , and [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} can explain what [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have said on this head to [Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [I]_81-ruth am afraid [I]_81-ruth can not do it , "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth began ; but while [she]_81-ruth was choosing words delicate enough to express [her]_81-ruth reluctance to act as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} wished , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had almost bowed [her]_81-ruth out of [the room]_{357-the room} ; and thinking that [she]_81-ruth was modest in [her]_81-ruth estimate of [her]_81-ruth qualifications for remonstrating with [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} added , blandly , " [No one]_{517-no one} so able , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have observed many qualities in [you]_81-ruth -- observed when , perhaps , [you]_81-ruth have little thought it . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} If [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had observed [Ruth]_81-ruth that morning , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would have seen an absence of mind , and depression of spirits , not much to [her]_81-ruth credit as [a teacher]_{2491-a teacher} ; for [she]_81-ruth could not bring [herself]_81-ruth to feel that [she]_81-ruth had any right to go into [the family]_{693-the family} purposely to watch over and find fault with [any one member of it]_{2493-any one member of it} . If [she]_81-ruth had seen anything wrong in [Jemima]_217-jemima , [Ruth]_81-ruth loved [her]_217-jemima so much that [she]_81-ruth would have told [her]_217-jemima of it in private ; and with many doubts , how far [she]_81-ruth was the one to pull out the mote from [any one]_{425-any one} 's eye , even in the most tender manner;--she would have had to conquer reluctance before [she]_81-ruth could have done even this ; but there was something undefinably repugnant to [her]_81-ruth in the manner of acting which [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had proposed , and [she]_81-ruth determined not to accept the invitations which were to place [her]_81-ruth in so false a position . But as [she]_81-ruth was leaving [the house]_{426-the house} , after the end of the lessons , while [she]_81-ruth stood in [the hall]_{2496-the hall} tying on [her]_81-ruth bonnet , and listening to the last small confidences of [[her]_81-ruth two pupils]_{2497-her two pupils} , [she]_81-ruth saw [Jemima]_217-jemima coming in through [the garden]_{783-the garden} - door , and was struck by the change in [her]_217-jemima looks . The large eyes , so brilliant once , were dim and clouded ; the complexion sallow and colourless ; a lowering expression was on the dark brow , and the corners of [her]_217-jemima mouth drooped as with sorrowful thoughts . [She]_217-jemima looked up , and [her]_217-jemima eyes met [Ruth]_81-ruth 's . " Oh ! [[you]_217-jemima beautiful creature]_{5353-you beautiful creature} ! "_[217-jemima] thought [Jemima]_217-jemima , " with [your]_217-jemima still , calm , heavenly face , what are [you]_217-jemima to know of [earth]_2018-earth 's trials ! [You]_217-jemima have lost [[your]_217-jemima beloved]_{5355-your beloved} by death -- but that is a blessed sorrow ; the sorrow [I]_217-jemima have pulls [me]_217-jemima down and down , and makes [me]_217-jemima despise and hate [every one]_{1129-every one} -- not [you]_217-jemima , though . "_[217-jemima] And , [her]_217-jemima face changing to a soft , tender look , [she]_217-jemima went up to [Ruth]_81-ruth , and kissed [her]_81-ruth fondly ; as if it were a relief to be near [some one on whose true , pure heart [she]_217-jemima relied]_{2499-some one on whose true , pure heart she relied} . [Ruth]_81-ruth returned the caress ; and even while [she]_81-ruth did so , [she]_81-ruth suddenly rescinded [her]_81-ruth resolution to keep clear of what [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had desired [her]_81-ruth to do . On [her]_81-ruth way [home]_4124-home [she]_81-ruth resolved , if [she]_81-ruth could , to find out what were [Jemima]_217-jemima 's secret feelings ; and if ( as , from some previous knowledge , [she]_81-ruth suspected ) they were morbid and exaggerated in any way , to try and help [her]_81-ruth right with all the wisdom which true love gives . It was time that [some one]_{378-some one} should come to still the storm in [Jemima]_217-jemima 's turbulent heart , which was daily and [hourly]_215-hourly knowing less and less of peace . The irritating difficulty was to separate [the two characters]_{2502-the two characters} , which at two different times [she]_81-ruth had attributed to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} -- the old one , which [she]_81-ruth had formerly believed to be true , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was [a man acting up to a high standard of lofty principle , and acting up without a struggle]_{2503-a man acting up to a high standard of lofty principle , and acting up without a struggle} ( and this last had been the circumstance which had made [her]_81-ruth rebellious and irritable once ) ; the new one , which [[her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} had excited in [her]_81-ruth suspicious mind , that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was cold and calculating in all [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did , and that [she]_81-ruth was to be transferred by [the former]_{2505-the former} , and accepted by [the latter]_{1745-the latter} , as a sort of stock - in - trade -- these were [the two [Mr Farquhars]_{216-mr farquhars} who clashed together in [her]_81-ruth mind]_{2507-the two mr farquhars who clashed together in her mind} . And in this state of irritation and prejudice , [she]_81-ruth could not bear the way in which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} gave up [his]_{193-mr farquhar} opinions to please [her]_81-ruth ; that was not the way to win [her]_81-ruth ; [she]_81-ruth liked [him]_{193-mr farquhar} far better when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} inflexibly and rigidly adhered to [his]_{193-mr farquhar} idea of right and wrong , not even allowing any force to temptation , and hardly any grace to repentance , compared with that beauty of holiness which had never yielded to sin . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} had been [[her]_81-ruth idol]_{2508-her idol} in those days , as [she]_81-ruth found out now , however much at the time [she]_81-ruth had opposed [him]_{193-mr farquhar} with violence . As for [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was almost weary of [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} ; no reasoning , even no principle , seemed to have influence over [him]_{193-mr farquhar} , for [he]_{193-mr farquhar} saw that [Jemima]_217-jemima was not at all what [he]_{193-mr farquhar} approved of in [woman]_5218-woman . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} saw [her]_217-jemima uncurbed and passionate , affecting to despise the rules of life [he]_{193-mr farquhar} held most sacred , and indifferent to , if not positively disliking [him]_{193-mr farquhar} ; and yet [he]_{193-mr farquhar} loved [her]_217-jemima dearly . But [he]_{193-mr farquhar} resolved to make a great effort of will , and break loose from these trammels of sense . And while [he]_{193-mr farquhar} resolved , some old recollection would bring [her]_217-jemima up , hanging on [his]_{193-mr farquhar} arm , in all the confidence of early girlhood , looking up in [his]_{193-mr farquhar} face with [her]_217-jemima soft , dark eyes , and questioning [him]_{193-mr farquhar} upon the mysterious subjects which had so much interest for both of [them]_2510-them at that time , although [they]_2510-them had become only matter for dissension in these later days . It was also true , as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had said , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} wished to marry , and had not much choice in [the small town of Eccleston]_{2511-the small town of eccleston} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} never put this so plainly before [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} , as a reason for choosing [Jemima]_217-jemima , as [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} had done to [her]_217-jemima ; but it was an unconscious motive all the same . However , now [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had lectured [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} into the resolution to make a pretty long absence from [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , and see if , amongst [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} distant friends]_{2513-his distant friends} , there was [no woman]_{2514-no woman} more in accordance with [his]_{193-mr farquhar} ideal , who could put the naughty , wilful , plaguing [Jemima Bradshaw]_217-jemima out of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} head , if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did not soon perceive some change in [her]_217-jemima for the better . A few days after [Ruth]_81-ruth 's conversation with [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , the invitation [she]_81-ruth had been expecting , yet dreading , came . It was to [her]_81-ruth alone . [Mr]_2515-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} were pleased at the compliment to [her]_81-ruth , and urged [her]_81-ruth acceptance of it . [She]_81-ruth wished that [they]_2516-they had been included ; [she]_81-ruth had not thought it right , or kind to [Jemima]_217-jemima , to tell [them]_2516-they why [she]_81-ruth was going , and [she]_81-ruth feared now lest [they]_2516-they should feel a little hurt that [they]_2516-they were not asked too . But [she]_81-ruth need not have been afraid . [They]_2516-they were glad and proud of the attention to [her]_81-ruth , and never thought of [themselves]_2516-they . " [Ruthie]_81-ruth , what gown shall [you]_81-ruth wear to - night ? [your]_81-ruth dark grey one , [I]_{143-mr benson} suppose ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Yes , [I]_{143-mr benson} suppose so . [I]_{143-mr benson} never thought of it ; but that is [my]_{143-mr benson} best . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Well ; then , [I]_81-ruth shall quill up a ruff for [you]_81-ruth . [You]_81-ruth know [I]_81-ruth am [a famous quiller of net]_{5357-a famous quiller of net} . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth came [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} with a little flush on [her]_81-ruth cheeks when [she]_81-ruth was ready to go . [She]_81-ruth held [her]_81-ruth bonnet and shawl in [her]_81-ruth hand , for [she]_81-ruth knew [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Sally]_148-sally would want to see [her]_81-ruth dressed . " Is not [mamma]_113-mamma pretty ? "_{[104-leonard]} asked [Leonard]_104-leonard , with [a child]_{556-a child} 's pride . " [She]_113-mamma looks very nice and tidy , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who had an idea that [children]_{1146-children} should not talk or think about beauty . " [I]_81-ruth think [my]_81-ruth ruff looks so nice , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , with gentle pleasure . And indeed it did look nice , and set off the pretty round throat most becomingly . [Her]_81-ruth hair , now grown long and thick , was smoothed as close to [her]_81-ruth head as its waving nature would allow , and plaited up in a great rich knot low down behind . The grey gown was as plain as plain could be . " [You]_81-ruth should have light gloves , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [She]_81-ruth went [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , and brought down a delicate pair of Limerick ones , which had been long treasured up in a walnut - shell . " [They]_5358-they say them gloves is made of chickens'-skins , "_[148-sally] said [Sally]_148-sally , examining them curiously . " [I]_148-sally wonder how [they]_5358-they set about skinning 'em . "_[148-sally] " Here , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , coming in from [the garden]_{783-the garden} , " here 's a rose or two for [you]_81-ruth . [I]_{143-mr benson} am sorry there are no more ; [I]_{143-mr benson} hoped [I]_{143-mr benson} should have had [my]_{143-mr benson} yellow rose out by this time , but the damask and the white are in a warmer corner , and have got the start . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Leonard]_104-leonard stood at the door , and watched [her]_81-ruth down [the little passage - street]_{2522-the little passage - street} till [she]_81-ruth was out of sight . [She]_81-ruth had hardly touched the bell at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's door , when [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} opened it with boisterous glee . " [We]_5359-we saw [you]_81-ruth coming -- [we've]_5359-we been watching for [you]_81-ruth -- [we]_5359-we want [you]_81-ruth to come round [the garden]_{783-the garden} before tea ; [papa]_4310-papa is not come in yet . Do come ! "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth went round [the garden]_{783-the garden} with [a little girl]_{2524-a little girl} clinging to each arm . [It]_{783-the garden} was full of sunshine and flowers , and this made the contrast between [it]_{783-the garden} and [the usual large family room ( which fronted [the north - east]_{2526-the north - east} , and therefore had no evening sun to light up [its]_{783-the garden} cold , drab furniture]_{2525-the usual large family room ( which fronted the north - east , and therefore had no evening sun to light up its cold , drab furniture} ) more striking than usual . [It]_{783-the garden} looked very gloomy . There was the great dining - table , heavy and square ; the range of chairs , straight and square ; the work - boxes , useful and square ; the colouring of walls , and carpet , and curtains , all of the coldest description ; everything was handsome , and everything was ugly . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was asleep in [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} easy - chair when [they]_2527-they came in . [Jemima]_217-jemima had just put down [her]_217-jemima work , and , lost in thought , [she]_217-jemima leant [her]_217-jemima cheek on [her]_217-jemima hand . When [she]_217-jemima saw [Ruth]_81-ruth [she]_217-jemima brightened a little , and went to [her]_81-ruth and kissed [her]_81-ruth . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} jumped up at the sound of [their]_2527-they entrance , and was wide awake in a moment . " Oh ! [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} thought [[your]_{151-mrs bradshaw} father]_{5319-your father} was [here]_4172-here , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , evidently relieved to find that [he]_2528-he had not come in and caught [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} sleeping . " Thank [you]_2528-he , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , for coming to [us]_2527-they to - night , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , in the quiet tone in which [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} generally spoke in [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} 's absence . When [he]_2528-he was [there]_332-there , a sort of constant terror of displeasing [him]_2528-he made [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} voice sharp and nervous ; [the children]_{550-the children} knew that many a thing passed over by [[their]_{550-the children} mother]_{2532-their mother} when [[their]_{550-the children} father]_{2183-their father} was away , was sure to be noticed by [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} when [he]_2528-he was present ; and noticed , too , in a cross and querulous manner , for [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was so much afraid of the blame which on any occasion of [their]_{550-the children} misbehaviour fell upon [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} . And yet [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} looked up to [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} with a reverence and regard , and a faithfulness of love , which [his]_2528-he decision of character was likely to produce on a weak and anxious mind . [He]_2528-he was [a rest and a support to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , on whom [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} cast all [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} responsibilities]_{2535-a rest and a support to her , on whom she cast all her responsibilities} ; [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was [an obedient , unremonstrating wife to [him]_2528-he]_{2536-an obedient , unremonstrating wife to him} ; no stronger affection had ever brought [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} duty to [him]_2528-he into conflict with any desire of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} heart . [She]_{151-mrs bradshaw} loved [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} children]_{2362-her children} dearly , though [they]_{2362-her children} all perplexed [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} very frequently . [[Her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} son]_{990-her son} was [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} especial darling]_{2539-her especial darling} , because [he]_{990-her son} very seldom brought [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} into any scrapes with [[his]_{990-her son} father]_{658-his father} ; [he]_{990-her son} was so cautious and prudent , and had the art of " keeping a calm sough "_{[990-her son]} about any difficulty [he]_{990-her son} might be in . With all [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} dutiful sense of the obligation , which [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} enforced upon [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , to notice and tell [him]_{730-her husband} everything that was going wrong in [the household]_{1179-the household} , and especially among [[his]_{730-her husband} children]_{5138-his children} , [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , somehow , contrived to be honestly blind to a good deal that was not praiseworthy in [Master Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} came in before long , bringing with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . [Jemima]_217-jemima had been talking to [Ruth]_81-ruth with some interest before then ; but , on seeing [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , [she]_217-jemima bent [her]_217-jemima head down over [her]_217-jemima work , went a little paler , and turned obstinately silent . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} longed to command [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to speak ; but even [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had a suspicion that what [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} might say , when so commanded , might be rather worse in its effect than [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} gloomy silence ; so [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} held [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} peace , and a discontented , angry kind of peace it was . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} saw that something was wrong , but could not tell what ; only [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} became every moment more trembling , and nervous , and irritable , and sent [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} off on all sorts of contradictory errands to [the servants]_{2544-the servants} , and made the tea twice as strong , and sweetened it twice as much as usual , in hopes of pacifying [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} with good things . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had gone for the last time , or so [he]_{193-mr farquhar} thought . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} had resolved ( for the fifth time ) that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would go and watch [Jemima]_217-jemima once more , and if [her]_217-jemima temper got the better of [her]_217-jemima , and [she]_217-jemima showed the old sullenness again , and gave the old proofs of indifference to [his]_{193-mr farquhar} good opinion , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would give [her]_217-jemima up altogether , and seek [a wife]_{5327-a wife} elsewhere . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} sat watching [her]_217-jemima with folded arms , and in silence . Altogether [they]_2547-they were [a pleasant family party]_{2548-a pleasant family party} ! [Jemima]_217-jemima wanted to wind a skein of wool . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} saw it , and came to [her]_217-jemima , anxious to do [her]_217-jemima this little service . [She]_217-jemima turned away pettishly , and asked [Ruth]_81-ruth to hold it for [her]_217-jemima . [Ruth]_81-ruth was hurt for [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , and looked sorrowfully at [Jemima]_217-jemima ; but [Jemima]_217-jemima would not see [her]_81-ruth glance of upbraiding , as [Ruth]_81-ruth , hoping that [she]_81-ruth would relent , delayed a little to comply with [her]_81-ruth request . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} did ; and went back to [his]_{193-mr farquhar} seat to watch [them]_2549-their both . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} saw [Jemima]_217-jemima turbulent and stormy in look ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} saw [Ruth]_81-ruth , to all appearance heavenly calm as the angels , or with only that little tinge of sorrow which [[her]_81-ruth friend]_{431-her friend} 's behaviour had called forth . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} saw the unusual beauty of [her]_217-jemima face and form , which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had never noticed before ; and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} saw [Jemima]_217-jemima , with all the brilliancy [she]_217-jemima once possessed in eyes and complexion , dimmed and faded . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} watched [Ruth]_81-ruth , speaking low and soft to [the little girls]_{2551-the little girls} , who seemed to come to [her]_81-ruth in every difficulty ; and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} remarked [her]_217-jemima gentle firmness when [their]_2549-their bedtime came , and [they]_2549-their pleaded to stay up longer ( [[their]_2549-their father]_{2183-their father} was absent in [[his]_{2183-their father} counting - house]_{2553-his counting - house} , or [they]_2549-their would not have dared to do so ) . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} liked [Ruth]_81-ruth 's soft , distinct , unwavering " No ! [you]_81-ruth must go . [You]_81-ruth must keep to what is right , "_[81-ruth] far better than the good - natured yielding to entreaty [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had formerly admired in [Jemima]_217-jemima . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} was wandering off into this comparison , while [Ruth]_81-ruth , with delicate and unconscious tact , was trying to lead [Jemima]_217-jemima into some subject which should take [her]_217-jemima away from the thoughts , whatever they were , that made [her]_217-jemima so ungracious and rude . [Jemima]_217-jemima was ashamed of [herself]_217-jemima before [Ruth]_81-ruth , in a way which [she]_217-jemima had never been before [any one else]_{4234-any one else} . [She]_217-jemima valued [Ruth]_81-ruth 's good opinion so highly , that [she]_217-jemima dreaded lest [[her]_217-jemima friend]_{431-her friend} should perceive [her]_217-jemima faults . [She]_217-jemima put a check upon [herself]_217-jemima -- a check at first ; but after a little time [she]_217-jemima had forgotten something of [her]_217-jemima trouble , and listened to [Ruth]_81-ruth , and questioned [her]_217-jemima about [Leonard]_104-leonard , and smiled at [his]_104-leonard little witticisms ; and only the sighs , that would come up from the very force of habit , brought back the consciousness of [her]_217-jemima unhappiness . Before the end of the evening , [Jemima]_217-jemima had allowed [herself]_217-jemima to speak to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} in the old way -- questioning , differing , disputing . [She]_217-jemima was recalled to the remembrance of that miserable conversation by the entrance of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} . After that [she]_217-jemima was silent . But [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had seen [her]_217-jemima face more animated , and bright with a smile , as [she]_217-jemima spoke to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ; and although [he]_{193-mr farquhar} regretted the loss of [her]_217-jemima complexion ( for [she]_217-jemima was still very pale ) , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was highly pleased with the success of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} project . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} never doubted but that [Ruth]_81-ruth had given [her]_217-jemima some sort of private exhortation to behave better . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} could not have understood the pretty art with which , by simply banishing unpleasant subjects , and throwing a wholesome natural sunlit tone over others , [Ruth]_81-ruth had insensibly drawn [Jemima]_217-jemima out of [her]_217-jemima gloom . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} resolved to buy [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} a handsome silk gown the very next day . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} did not believe [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} had a silk gown , [poor creature]_{2557-poor creature} ! [He]_{193-mr farquhar} had noticed that dark grey stuff , this long , long time , as [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} Sunday dress . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} liked the colour ; the silk one should be just the same tinge . Then [he]_{193-mr farquhar} thought that it would , perhaps , be better to choose a lighter shade , one which might be noticed as different to the old gown . For [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had no doubt [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} would like to have it remarked , and , perhaps , would not object to tell [people]_322-people , that it was a present from [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} -- a token of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} approbation . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} smiled a little to [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} thought of this additional source of pleasure to [Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth , in the meantime , was getting up to go [home]_4124-home . While [Jemima]_217-jemima was lighting the bed - candle at the lamp , [Ruth]_81-ruth came round to bid good night . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} could not allow [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} to remain till the morrow , uncertain whether [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was satisfied or not . " Good night , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [he]_{193-mr farquhar} . " Good night . Thank [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am obliged to [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} -- [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am exceedingly obliged to [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [He]_{193-mr farquhar} laid emphasis on these words , for [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was pleased to see [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} step forward to help [Jemima]_217-jemima in [[her]_217-jemima little office]_{2560-her little office} . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} offered to accompany [Ruth]_81-ruth [home]_4124-home ; but [the streets]_{297-the streets} that intervened between [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's and [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house} were so quiet that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} desisted , when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} learnt from [Ruth]_81-ruth 's manner how much [she]_81-ruth disliked [his]_{193-mr farquhar} proposal . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , too , instantly observed : " Oh ! [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} need not trouble [you]_{193-mr farquhar} , [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have [servants]_831-servants at liberty at any moment to attend on [her]_217-jemima , if [she]_217-jemima wishes it . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} In fact , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} wanted to make hay while the sun shone , and to detain [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} a little longer , now that [Jemima]_217-jemima was so gracious . [She]_217-jemima went [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} with [Ruth]_81-ruth to help [her]_217-jemima to put on [her]_217-jemima things . " [Dear Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , " [I]_81-ruth am so glad to see [you]_217-jemima looking better to - night ! [You]_217-jemima quite frightened [me]_81-ruth this morning , [you]_217-jemima looked so ill . "_[81-ruth] " Did [I]_217-jemima ? "_[217-jemima] replied [Jemima]_217-jemima . " Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [I]_217-jemima have been so unhappy lately . [I]_217-jemima want [you]_81-ruth to come and put [me]_217-jemima to rights , "_[217-jemima] [she]_217-jemima continued , half smiling . " [You]_81-ruth know [I]_217-jemima 'm [a sort of out - pupil of [yours]_81-ruth]_{5365-a sort of out - pupil of yours} , though [we]_5366-we are so nearly of an age . [You]_81-ruth ought to lecture [me]_217-jemima , and make [me]_217-jemima good . "_[217-jemima] " Should [I]_81-ruth , [dear]_4155-dear ? "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [I]_217-jemima do n't think [I]_217-jemima 'm the one to do it . "_[217-jemima] " Oh , yes ! [you]_81-ruth are -- [you've]_81-ruth done [me]_217-jemima good to - night . "_[217-jemima] " Well , if [I]_81-ruth can do anything for [you]_81-ruth , tell [me]_81-ruth what it is ? "_[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , tenderly . " Oh , not now -- not now , "_[217-jemima] replied [Jemima]_217-jemima . " [I]_81-ruth could not tell [you]_81-ruth here . It 's a long story , and [I]_81-ruth do n't know that [I]_81-ruth can tell [you]_81-ruth at all . [Mamma]_113-mamma might come up at any moment , and [papa]_4310-papa would be sure to ask what [we]_5369-we had been talking about so long . "_[81-ruth] " Take [your]_81-ruth own time , love , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth ; " only remember , as far as [I]_81-ruth can , how glad [I]_81-ruth am to help [you]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] " [You]_81-ruth 're too good , [[my]_217-jemima darling]_{4347-my darling} ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , fondly . " Do n't say so , "_[81-ruth] replied [Ruth]_81-ruth , earnestly , almost as if [she]_81-ruth were afraid . " [God]_104-leonard knows [I]_81-ruth am not . "_[81-ruth] " Well ! [we]_5369-we 're none of [us]_5369-we too good , "_[217-jemima] answered [Jemima]_217-jemima ; " [I]_217-jemima know that . But [you]_81-ruth _ are _ very good . Nay , [I]_217-jemima wo n't call [you]_81-ruth so , if it makes [you]_81-ruth look so miserable . But come away [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} . "_[217-jemima] With the fragrance of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's sweetness lingering about [her]_81-ruth , [Jemima]_217-jemima was [her]_81-ruth best self during the next half - hour . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was more and more pleased , and raised the price of the silk , which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was going to give [Ruth]_81-ruth , sixpence a yard during the time . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} went [home]_4124-home through [the garden]_{783-the garden} - way , happier than [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had been this long time . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} even caught [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} humming the old refrain : On revient , on revient toujours , A ses premiers amours . But as soon as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was aware of what [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was doing , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} cleared away the remnants of the song into a cough , which was sonorous , if not perfectly real . CHAPTER XXI [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's Attentions Transferred The next morning , as [Jemima]_217-jemima and [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} sat at [their]_2568-their work , it came into the head of [the former]_{2505-the former} to remember [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's very marked way of thanking [Ruth]_81-ruth the evening before . " What a favourite [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} is with [papa]_4310-papa , "_{[710-her mother]} said [she]_{710-her mother} . " [I]_{710-her mother} am sure [I]_{710-her mother} do n't wonder at it . Did [you]_{151-mrs bradshaw} notice , [mamma]_4143-mamma , how [he]_4310-papa thanked [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} for coming [here]_4172-here last night ? "_{[710-her mother]} " Yes , [dear]_4155-dear ; but [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} do n't think it was all-- "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} stopped short . [She]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was never certain if it was right or wrong to say anything . " Not all what ? "_[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , when [she]_217-jemima saw [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} was not going to finish the sentence . " Not all because [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} came to tea here , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} replied [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} . " Why , what else could [he]_4310-papa be thanking [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} for ? What has [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} done ? "_[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , stimulated to curiosity by [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} 's hesitating manner . " [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} do n't know if [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} ought to tell [you]_217-jemima , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} . " Oh , very well ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , rather annoyed . " Nay , [dear]_4155-dear ! [[your]_4155-dear papa]_{5377-your papa} never said [I]_217-jemima was not to tell ; perhaps [I]_217-jemima may . "_[217-jemima] " Never mind ! [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} do n't want to hear , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} in a piqued tone . There was silence for a little while . [Jemima]_217-jemima was trying to think of something else , but [her]_217-jemima thoughts would revert to the wonder what [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} could have done for [[her]_{156-mrs denbigh} father]_{411-her father} . " [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} think [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} may tell [you]_217-jemima , though , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , half questioning . [Jemima]_217-jemima had the honour not to urge any confidence , but [she]_217-jemima was too curious to take any active step towards repressing it . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} went on . " [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} think [you]_217-jemima deserve to know . It is partly [your]_217-jemima doing that [papa]_4310-papa is so pleased with [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . [He]_4310-papa is going to buy [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} a silk gown this morning , and [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} think [you]_217-jemima ought to know why . "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} " Why ? "_[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]_217-jemima . " Because [papa]_4310-papa is so pleased to find that [you]_217-jemima mind what [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} says . "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} " [I]_217-jemima mind what [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} says ! To be sure [I]_217-jemima do , and always did . But why should [papa]_4310-papa give [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} a gown for that ? [I]_217-jemima think [he]_4310-papa ought to give it [me]_217-jemima rather , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , half laughing . " [I]_217-jemima am sure [he]_4310-papa would , [dear]_4155-dear ; [he]_4310-papa will give [you]_217-jemima one , [I]_217-jemima am certain , if [you]_217-jemima want one . [He]_4310-papa was so pleased to see [you]_217-jemima like [your]_217-jemima old self to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} last night . [We]_5382-we neither of [us]_5382-we could think what had come over [you]_217-jemima this last month ; but now all seems right . "_[217-jemima] A dark cloud came over [Jemima]_217-jemima 's face . [She]_217-jemima did not like this close observation and constant comment upon [her]_217-jemima manners ; and what had [Ruth]_81-ruth to do with it ? " [I]_217-jemima am glad [you]_217-jemima were pleased , "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima , very coldly . Then , after a pause , [she]_217-jemima added , " But [you]_217-jemima have not told [me]_217-jemima what [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} had to do with [my]_217-jemima good behaviour . "_[217-jemima] " Did not [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} speak to [you]_217-jemima about it ? "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} asked [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , looking up . " No ; why should [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} ? [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} has no right to criticise what [I]_217-jemima do . [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} would not be so impertinent , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , feeling very uncomfortable and suspicious . " Yes , love ! [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} would have had a right , for [papa]_4310-papa had desired [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} to do it . "_[217-jemima] " [Papa]_209-papa desired [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} ! What do [you]_217-jemima mean , [mamma]_4143-mamma ? "_[217-jemima] " Oh , [dear]_4155-dear ! [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} dare say [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} should not have told [you]_4155-dear , "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , perceiving , from [Jemima]_217-jemima 's tone of voice , that something had gone wrong . " Only [you]_4155-dear spoke as if it would be impertinent in [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , and [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} am sure [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} would not do anything that was impertinent . [You]_4155-dear know , it would be but right for [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} to do what [papa]_4310-papa told [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} ; and [he]_4310-papa said a great deal to [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} , the other day , about finding out why [you]_4155-dear were so cross , and bringing [you]_4155-dear right . And [you]_4155-dear are right now , [dear]_4155-dear ! "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , soothingly , thinking that [Jemima]_217-jemima was annoyed ( like [a good child]_{2574-a good child} ) at the recollection of how naughty [she]_217-jemima had been . " Then [papa]_4310-papa is going to give [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} a gown because [I]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was civil to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} last night ? "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} " Yes , [dear]_4155-dear ! "_{[151-mrs bradshaw]} said [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , more and more frightened at [Jemima]_217-jemima 's angry manner of speaking -- low - toned , but very indignant . [Jemima]_217-jemima remembered , with smouldered anger , [Ruth]_81-ruth 's pleading way of wiling [her]_81-ruth from [her]_81-ruth sullenness the night before . Management everywhere ! but in this case it was peculiarly revolting ; so much so , that [she]_217-jemima could hardly bear to believe that the seemingly - transparent [Ruth]_81-ruth had lent [herself]_81-ruth to it . " Are [you]_4155-dear sure , [mamma]_4143-mamma , that [papa]_4310-papa asked [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} to make [me]_81-ruth behave differently ? It seems so strange . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_217-jemima am quite sure . [He]_4310-papa spoke to [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} last Friday morning in [the study]_{1738-the study} . [I]_217-jemima remember it was Friday , because [Mrs Dean]_{218-mrs dean} was working [here]_4172-here . "_[217-jemima] [Jemima]_217-jemima remembered now that [she]_217-jemima had gone into [the school - room]_{2575-the school - room} on the Friday , and found [[her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} lounging about , and wondering what [papa]_4310-papa could possibly want with [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . After this conversation , [Jemima]_217-jemima repulsed all [Ruth]_81-ruth 's timid efforts to ascertain the cause of [her]_81-ruth disturbance , and to help [her]_81-ruth if [she]_217-jemima could . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's tender , sympathising manner , as [she]_81-ruth saw [Jemima]_217-jemima daily looking more wretched , was distasteful to [the latter]_{1745-the latter} in the highest degree . [She]_217-jemima could not say that [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's conduct was positively wrong -- it might even be quite right ; but it was inexpressibly repugnant to [her]_217-jemima to think of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} consulting with [a stranger]_{2130-a stranger} ( a week ago [she]_217-jemima almost considered [Ruth]_81-ruth as [a sister]_{2581-a sister} ) how to manage [[his]_{411-her father} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} , so as to obtain the end [he]_{411-her father} wished for ; yes , even if that end was for [her]_217-jemima own good . [She]_217-jemima was thankful and glad to see a brown paper parcel lying on the hall - table , with a note in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's handwriting , addressed to [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} . [She]_217-jemima _ knew _ what it was , the grey silk dress . That [she]_217-jemima was sure [Ruth]_81-ruth would never accept . [No one henceforward]_{2584-no one henceforward} could induce [Jemima]_217-jemima to enter into conversation with [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . [She]_217-jemima suspected manoeuvring in the simplest actions , and was miserable in this constant state of suspicion . [She]_217-jemima would not allow [herself]_217-jemima to like [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , even when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} said things the most after [her]_217-jemima own heart . [She]_217-jemima heard [him]_{193-mr farquhar} , one evening , talking with [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} about the principles of trade . [[Her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} stood out for the keenest , sharpest work , consistent with honesty ; if [he]_{411-her father} had not been [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} [she]_217-jemima would , perhaps , have thought some of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} sayings inconsistent with true Christian honesty . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} was for driving hard bargains , exacting interest and payment of just bills to a day . That was ( [he]_{193-mr farquhar} said ) the only way in which trade could be conducted . Once allow a margin of uncertainty , or where feelings , instead of maxims , were to be the guide , and all hope of there ever being [any good men of business]_{2588-any good men of business} was ended . " Suppose a delay of a month in requiring payment might save [a man]_{650-a man} 's credit -- prevent [his]_{650-a man} becoming [a bankrupt]_{5395-a bankrupt} ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} put in [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} would not give it [him]_{650-a man} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} would let [him]_{650-a man} have money to set up again as soon as [he]_{650-a man} had passed the Bankruptcy Court ; if [he]_{650-a man} never passed , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} might , in some cases , make [him]_{650-a man} an allowance ; but [I]_{193-mr farquhar} would always keep [my]_{193-mr farquhar} justice and [my]_{193-mr farquhar} charity separate . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " And yet charity ( in [your]_{193-mr farquhar} sense of the word ) degrades ; justice , tempered with mercy and consideration , elevates . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " That is not justice -- justice is certain and inflexible . No ! [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , [you]_{193-mr farquhar} must not allow any Quixotic notions to mingle with [your]_{193-mr farquhar} conduct as [a tradesman]_{5396-a tradesman} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} And so [they]_2589-they went on ; [Jemima]_217-jemima 's face glowing with sympathy in all [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} said ; till once , on looking up suddenly with sparkling eyes , [she]_217-jemima saw a glance of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's which told [her]_217-jemima , as plain as words could say , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was watching the effect of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's speeches upon [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} . [She]_217-jemima was chilled thenceforward ; [she]_217-jemima thought [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} prolonged the argument , in order to call out those sentiments which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} knew would most recommend [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} partner]_{2434-his partner} to [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} . [She]_217-jemima would so fain have let [herself]_217-jemima love [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ; but this constant manoeuvring , in which [she]_217-jemima did not feel clear that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did not take a passive part , made [her]_217-jemima sick at heart . [She]_217-jemima even wished that [they]_2595-their might not go through the form of pretending to try to gain [her]_217-jemima consent to the marriage , if it involved all this premeditated action and speech - making -- such moving about of every one into [their]_2595-their right places , like pieces at chess . [She]_217-jemima felt as if [she]_217-jemima would rather be bought openly , like [an Oriental daughter]_{2596-an oriental daughter} , where [no one]_{517-no one} is degraded in [their]_2595-their own eyes by being [parties to such a contract]_{2598-parties to such a contract} . The consequences of all this " admirable management "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} of [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's would have been very unfortunate to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ( who was innocent of all connivance in any of the plots -- indeed , would have been as much annoyed at [them]_2599-them as [Jemima]_217-jemima , had [he]_{193-mr farquhar} been aware of them ) , but that the impression made upon [him]_{193-mr farquhar} by [Ruth]_81-ruth on the evening [I]_0-i have so lately described , was deepened by the contrast which [her]_81-ruth behaviour made to [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's on one or two more recent occasions . There was no use , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} thought , in continuing attentions so evidently distasteful to [Jemima]_217-jemima . To [her]_217-jemima , [a young girl hardly out of [the schoolroom]_{2601-the schoolroom}]_{2600-a young girl hardly out of the schoolroom} , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} probably appeared like [an old man]_{2602-an old man} ; and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} might even lose the friendship with which [she]_217-jemima used to regard [him]_{193-mr farquhar} , and which was , and ever would be , very dear to [him]_{193-mr farquhar} , if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} persevered in trying to be considered as [a lover]_{993-a lover} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} should always feel affectionately towards [her]_217-jemima ; [her]_217-jemima very faults gave [her]_217-jemima an interest in [his]_{193-mr farquhar} eyes , for which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had blamed [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} most conscientiously and most uselessly when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was looking upon [her]_217-jemima as [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} future wife]_{2604-his future wife} , but which [the said conscience]_{2605-the said conscience} would learn to approve of when [she]_217-jemima sank down to the place of [a young friend]_{2606-a young friend} , over whom [he]_{193-mr farquhar} might exercise a good and salutary interest . [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , if not many months older in years , had known sorrow and cares so early that [she]_217-jemima was much older in character . Besides , [her]_217-jemima shy reserve , and [her]_217-jemima quiet daily walk within the lines of duty , were much in accordance with [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's notion of what [a wife]_{5327-a wife} should be . Still , it was a wrench to take [his]_{193-mr farquhar} affections away from [Jemima]_217-jemima . If [she]_217-jemima had not helped [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to do so by every means in [her]_217-jemima power , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} could never have accomplished it . Yes ! by every means in [her]_217-jemima power had [Jemima]_217-jemima alienated [[her]_217-jemima lover]_{1247-her lover} , [[her]_217-jemima beloved]_{2609-her beloved} -- for so [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was in fact . And now [her]_217-jemima quick - sighted eyes saw [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was gone for ever -- past recall ; for did not [her]_217-jemima jealous , sore heart feel , even before [he]_{193-mr farquhar} [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} was conscious of the fact , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was drawn towards sweet , lovely , composed , and dignified [Ruth]_81-ruth -- one who always thought before [she]_81-ruth spoke ( as [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} used to bid [Jemima]_217-jemima do)--who never was tempted by sudden impulse , but walked [the world]_{506-the world} calm and self - governed . What now availed [Jemima]_217-jemima 's reproaches , as [she]_217-jemima remembered the days when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had watched [her]_217-jemima with earnest , attentive eyes , as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} now watched [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and the times since , when , led astray by [her]_217-jemima morbid fancy , [she]_217-jemima had turned away from all [his]_{193-mr farquhar} advances ! " It was only in March -- last March , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} called [me]_217-jemima ' dear [Jemima]_217-jemima . ' [Ah]_5397-ah , do n't [I]_217-jemima remember it well ? The pretty nosegay of green - house flowers that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} gave [me]_217-jemima in exchange for the wild daffodils -- and how [he]_{193-mr farquhar} seemed to care for the flowers [I]_217-jemima gave [him]_{193-mr farquhar} -- and how [he]_{193-mr farquhar} looked at [me]_217-jemima , and thanked [me]_217-jemima -- that is all gone and over now . "_[217-jemima] [[Her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} came in bright and glowing . " Oh , [Jemima]_217-jemima , how nice and cool [you]_217-jemima are , sitting in [this shady room]_{5398-this shady room} ! "_[217-jemima] ( [She]_217-jemima had felt it even chilly . ) " [We]_5399-we have been such a long walk ! [We]_5399-we are so tired . It is so hot . "_[217-jemima] " Why did [you]_217-jemima go , then ? "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima . " Oh ! [we]_5399-we wanted to go . [We]_5399-we would not have stayed at [home]_4124-home on any account . It has been so pleasant , "_[118-mary] said [Mary]_118-mary . " [We]_5399-we 've been to [Scaurside Wood]_{46-scaurside wood} , to gather wild strawberries , "_{[195-elizabeth]} said [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . " Such a quantity ! [We]_5399-we 've left a whole basketful in the dairy . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} says [he]_{193-mr farquhar} 'll teach [us]_5399-we how to dress them in the way [he]_{193-mr farquhar} learnt in [Germany]_47-germany , if [we]_5399-we can get [him]_{193-mr farquhar} some hock . Do [you]_217-jemima think [papa]_4310-papa will let [us]_5399-we have some ? "_{[195-elizabeth]} " Was [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} with [you]_217-jemima ? "_[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , a dull light coming into [her]_217-jemima eyes . " Yes ; [we]_5399-we told [him]_{193-mr farquhar} this morning that [mamma]_4143-mamma wanted [us]_5399-we to take some old linen to [the lame man at [Scaurside Farm]_{48-scaurside farm}]_{5403-the lame man at scaurside farm} , and that [we]_5399-we meant to coax [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} to let [us]_5399-we go into the wood and gather strawberries , "_{[195-elizabeth]} said [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . " [I]_118-mary thought [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would make some excuse and come , "_[118-mary] said [the quick - witted Mary]_118-mary , as eager and thoughtless [an observer of one love - affair as of another]_{2612-an observer of one love - affair as of another} , and quite forgetting that , not many weeks ago , [she]_118-mary had fancied an attachment between [him]_2613-him and [Jemima]_217-jemima . " Did [you]_118-mary ? [I]_{195-elizabeth} did not , "_{[195-elizabeth]} replied [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . " At least [I]_{195-elizabeth} never thought about it . [I]_{195-elizabeth} was quite startled when [I]_{195-elizabeth} heard [his]_{193-mr farquhar} horse 's feet behind [us]_5399-we on [the road]_{4274-the road} . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " [He]_{193-mr farquhar} said [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was going to [the farm]_{5405-the farm} , and could take [our]_5399-we basket . Was not it kind of [him]_{193-mr farquhar} ? "_[217-jemima] [Jemima]_217-jemima did not answer , so [Mary]_118-mary continued : " [You]_{195-elizabeth} know it 's a great pull up to [the farm]_{5405-the farm} , and [we]_5399-we were so hot already . [The road]_{4274-the road} was quite white and baked ; it hurt [my]_118-mary eyes terribly . [I]_118-mary was so glad when [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} said [we]_5399-we might turn into [the wood]_{926-the wood} . The light was quite green there , the branches are so thick overhead . "_[118-mary] " And there are whole beds of wild strawberries , "_{[195-elizabeth]} said [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , taking up the tale now [Mary]_118-mary was out of breath . [Mary]_118-mary fanned [herself]_118-mary with [her]_118-mary bonnet , while [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} went on : " [You]_217-jemima know where [the grey rock]_{5409-the grey rock} crops out , do n't [you]_217-jemima , [Jemima]_217-jemima ? Well , there was a complete carpet of strawberry runners . So pretty ! And [we]_5399-we could hardly step without treading the little bright scarlet berries under foot . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " [We]_5399-we did so wish for [Leonard]_104-leonard , "_{[195-elizabeth]} put in [Mary]_118-mary . " Yes ! but [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} gathered a great many for [him]_104-leonard . And [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} gave [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} all [his]_104-leonard . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " [I]_217-jemima thought [you]_217-jemima said [he]_104-leonard had gone on to [[Dawson]_219-dawson 's farm]_{5410-dawson 's farm} , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima . " Oh , yes ! [he]_104-leonard just went up there ; and then [he]_104-leonard left [his]_104-leonard horse [there]_332-there , like [a wise man]_{5412-a wise man} , and came to [us]_5399-we in [the pretty , cool , green wood]_{5413-the pretty , cool , green wood} . Oh , [Jemima]_217-jemima , it was so pretty -- little flecks of light coming down here and there through the leaves , and quivering on the ground . [You]_217-jemima must go with [us]_5399-we to - morrow . "_[217-jemima] " Yes , "_[118-mary] said [Mary]_118-mary , " [we]_5399-we 're going again to - morrow . [We]_5399-we could not gather nearly all the strawberries . "_[118-mary] " And [Leonard]_104-leonard is to go too , to - morrow . "_[217-jemima] " Yes ! [we]_5399-we thought of such a capital plan . That 's to say , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} thought of it -- [we]_5399-we wanted to carry [Leonard]_104-leonard up [the hill]_{4277-the hill} in [a king]_{5096-a king} 's cushion , but [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} would not hear of it . "_[217-jemima] " [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} said it would tire [us]_5399-we so ; and yet [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} wanted [him]_104-leonard to gather strawberries ! "_[118-mary] " And so , "_[118-mary] interrupted [Mary]_118-mary , for by this time [the two girls]_{2614-the two girls} were almost speaking together , " [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} is to bring [him]_104-leonard up before [him]_104-leonard on [his]_104-leonard horse . "_{[2614-the two girls]} " [You]_217-jemima 'll go with [us]_5399-we , wo n't [you]_217-jemima , [dear Jemima]_217-jemima ? "_{[195-elizabeth]} asked [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} ; " it will be at-- "_{[195-elizabeth]} " No ! [I]_217-jemima ca n't go ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , abruptly . " Do n't ask [me]_217-jemima -- [I]_217-jemima ca n't . "_[217-jemima] [The little girls]_{2551-the little girls} were hushed into silence by [her]_217-jemima manner ; for whatever [she]_217-jemima might be to those above [her]_217-jemima in age and position , to those below [her]_217-jemima [Jemima]_217-jemima was almost invariably gentle . [She]_217-jemima felt that [they]_{2551-the little girls} were wondering at [her]_217-jemima . " Go [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} and take off [your]_217-jemima things . [You]_217-jemima know [papa]_4310-papa does not like [you]_217-jemima to come into [this room]_{4221-this room} in the shoes in which [you]_217-jemima have been out . "_[217-jemima] [She]_217-jemima was glad to cut [[her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} short in the details which [they]_{2576-her sisters} were so mercilessly inflicting -- details which [she]_217-jemima must harden [herself]_217-jemima to , before [she]_217-jemima could hear [them]_{2576-her sisters} quietly and unmoved . [She]_217-jemima saw that [she]_217-jemima had lost [her]_217-jemima place as the first object in [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's eyes -- a position [she]_217-jemima had hardly cared for while [she]_217-jemima was secure in the enjoyment of it ; but the charm of it now was redoubled , in [her]_217-jemima acute sense of how [she]_217-jemima had forfeited it by [her]_217-jemima own doing , and [her]_217-jemima own fault . For if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} were [the cold , calculating man [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} had believed [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to be]_{2617-the cold , calculating man her father had believed him to be} , and had represented [him]_{193-mr farquhar} as being to [her]_217-jemima , would [he]_{193-mr farquhar} care for [a portionless widow]_{2619-a portionless widow} in humble circumstances like [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ; no money , no connexion , encumbered with [[her]_{156-mrs denbigh} boy]_{2051-her boy} ? The very action which proved [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} to be lost to [Jemima]_217-jemima reinstated [him]_{193-mr farquhar} on [his]_{193-mr farquhar} throne in [her]_217-jemima fancy . And [she]_217-jemima must go on in hushed quietness , quivering with every fresh token of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} preference for another ! That other , too , one so infinitely more worthy of [him]_{193-mr farquhar} than [herself]_217-jemima ; so that [she]_217-jemima could not have even the poor comfort of thinking that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had no discrimination , and was throwing [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} away on [a common or worthless person]_{2621-a common or worthless person} . [Ruth]_81-ruth was beautiful , gentle , good , and conscientious . The hot colour flushed up into [Jemima]_217-jemima 's sallow face as [she]_217-jemima became aware that , even while [she]_217-jemima acknowledged these excellences on [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's part , [she]_217-jemima hated [her]_217-jemima . The recollection of [her]_217-jemima marble face wearied [her]_217-jemima even to sickness ; the tones of [her]_217-jemima low voice were irritating from their very softness . [Her]_217-jemima goodness , undoubted as it was , was more distasteful than many faults which had more savour of human struggle in them . " What was this terrible demon in [her]_217-jemima heart ? "_[217-jemima] asked [[Jemima]_217-jemima 's better angel]_{2622-jemima 's better angel} . " Was [she]_217-jemima , indeed , given up to possession ? Was not this the old stinging hatred which had prompted so many crimes ? The hatred of all sweet virtues which might win the love denied to [us]_5419-us ? The old anger that wrought in [the elder brother]_{5420-the elder brother} 's heart , till it ended in the murder of [the gentle Abel]_{220-the gentle abel} , while yet [the world]_{506-the world} was young ? "_[217-jemima] " Oh , [God]_104-leonard ! help [me]_217-jemima ! [I]_217-jemima did not know [I]_217-jemima was so wicked , "_[217-jemima] cried [Jemima]_217-jemima aloud in [her]_217-jemima agony . It had been a terrible glimpse into the dark , lurid gulf -- the capability for evil , in [her]_217-jemima heart . [She]_217-jemima wrestled with [the demon]_{2623-the demon} , but [he]_{2623-the demon} would not depart ; it was to be a struggle whether or not [she]_217-jemima was to be given up to [him]_{2623-the demon} , in this [her]_217-jemima time of sore temptation . All the next day long [she]_217-jemima sat and pictured the happy strawberry gathering going on , even then , in [pleasant Scaurside Wood]_{46-scaurside wood} . Every touch of fancy which could heighten [her]_217-jemima idea of [their]_2624-their enjoyment , and of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's attention to the blushing , conscious [Ruth]_81-ruth -- every such touch which would add a pang to [her]_217-jemima self - reproach and keen jealousy , was added by [her]_217-jemima imagination . [She]_217-jemima got up and walked about , to try and stop [her]_217-jemima over - busy fancy by bodily exercise . But [she]_217-jemima had eaten little all day , and was weak and faint in the intense heat of [the sunny garden]_{2625-the sunny garden} . Even the long grass - walk under the filbert - hedge , was parched and dry in the glowing August sun . Yet [[her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} found [her]_217-jemima there when [they]_{2576-her sisters} returned , walking quickly up and down , as if to warm [herself]_217-jemima on some winter 's day . [They]_{2576-her sisters} were very weary ; and not half so communicative as on the day before , now that [Jemima]_217-jemima was craving for every detail to add to [her]_217-jemima agony . " Yes ! [Leonard]_104-leonard came up before [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . Oh ! how hot it is , [Jemima]_217-jemima ; do sit down , and [I]_{2576-her sisters} 'll tell [you]_217-jemima about it , but [I]_{2576-her sisters} ca n't if [you]_217-jemima keep walking so ! "_{[2576-her sisters]} " [I]_217-jemima ca n't sit still to - day , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , springing up from the turf as soon as [she]_217-jemima had sat down . " Tell [me]_217-jemima ! [I]_217-jemima can hear [you]_217-jemima while [I]_217-jemima walk about . "_[217-jemima] " Oh ! but [I]_{2576-her sisters} ca n't shout ; [I]_{2576-her sisters} can hardly speak [I]_{2576-her sisters} am so tired . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} brought [Leonard--]_{221-leonard--} "_{[2576-her sisters]} " [You]_217-jemima 've told [me]_217-jemima that before , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , sharply . " Well ! [I]_{195-elizabeth} do n't know what else to tell . [Somebody]_{5422-somebody} had been since yesterday , and gathered nearly all the strawberries off [the grey rock]_{5409-the grey rock} . [Jemima]_217-jemima ! [Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_{[195-elizabeth]} said [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , faintly , " [I]_{195-elizabeth} am so dizzy -- [I]_{195-elizabeth} think [I]_{195-elizabeth} am ill . "_{[195-elizabeth]} The next minute [the tired girl]_{2627-the tired girl} lay swooning on the grass . It was an outlet for [Jemima]_217-jemima 's fierce energy . With a strength [she]_217-jemima had never again , and never had known before , [she]_217-jemima lifted up [[her]_217-jemima fainting sister]_{2628-her fainting sister} , and bidding [Mary]_118-mary run and clear the way , [she]_217-jemima carried [her]_{2628-her fainting sister} in through [the open garden]_{2629-the open garden} - door , up the wide old - fashioned stairs , and laid [her]_{2628-her fainting sister} on the bed in [[her]_{2628-her fainting sister} own room]_{2447-her own room} , where the breeze from the window came softly and pleasantly through the green shade of the vine - leaves and jessamine . " Give [me]_217-jemima the water . Run for [mamma]_4143-mamma , [Mary]_118-mary , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , as [she]_217-jemima saw that the fainting - fit did not yield to the usual remedy of a horizontal position and the water sprinkling . " [Dear]_4155-dear ! dear [Lizzie]_{195-elizabeth} ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , kissing the pale , unconscious face . " [I]_217-jemima think [you]_{195-elizabeth} loved [me]_217-jemima , [darling]_4344-darling . "_[217-jemima] The long walk on the hot day had been too much for the delicate Elizabeth , who was fast outgrowing [her]_{2628-her fainting sister} strength . It was many days before [she]_{2628-her fainting sister} regained any portion of [her]_{2628-her fainting sister} spirit and vigour . After that fainting - fit , [she]_{2628-her fainting sister} lay listless and weary , without appetite or interest , through the long sunny autumn weather , on the bed or on the couch in [[Jemima]_217-jemima 's room]_{2631-jemima 's room} , whither [she]_{2628-her fainting sister} had been carried at first . It was a comfort to [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to be able at once to discover what it was that had knocked up [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} ; [she]_{2628-her fainting sister} did not rest easily until [she]_{2628-her fainting sister} had settled upon a cause for every ailment or illness in [the family]_{693-the family} . It was a stern consolation to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , during [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} time of anxiety respecting [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} , to be able to blame [somebody]_{5422-somebody} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} could not , like [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wife]_{737-his wife} , have taken comfort from an inanimate fact ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} wanted the satisfaction of feeling that [some one]_{378-some one} had been in fault , or else this never could have happened . [Poor Ruth]_81-ruth did not need [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} implied reproaches . When [she]_81-ruth saw [her]_81-ruth gentle [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} lying feeble and languid , [her]_81-ruth heart blamed [her]_81-ruth for thoughtlessness so severely as to make [her]_81-ruth take all [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's words and hints as too light censure for the careless way in which , to please [[her]_81-ruth own child]_{2637-her own child} , [she]_81-ruth had allowed [[her]_81-ruth two pupils]_{2497-her two pupils} to fatigue [themselves]_{2497-her two pupils} with such long walks . [She]_81-ruth begged hard to take [her]_81-ruth share of nursing . Every spare moment [she]_81-ruth went to [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's]_{2425-mr bradshaw 's} , and asked , with earnest humility , to be allowed to pass [them]_2640-them with [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} ; and , as it was often a relief to have [her]_81-ruth assistance , [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} received these entreaties very kindly , and desired [her]_81-ruth to go [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , where [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} 's pale countenance brightened when [she]_81-ruth saw [her]_{195-elizabeth} , but where [Jemima]_217-jemima sat in silent annoyance that [[her]_217-jemima own room]_{2447-her own room} was now become open ground for one , whom [her]_217-jemima heart rose up against , to enter in and be welcomed . Whether it was that [Ruth]_81-ruth , who was not [an inmate of [the house]_{426-the house}]_{2643-an inmate of the house} , brought with [her]_81-ruth a fresher air , more change of thought to [the invalid]_{738-the invalid} , [I]_0-i do not know , but [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} always gave [her]_81-ruth a peculiarly tender greeting ; and if [she]_81-ruth had sunk down into languid fatigue , in spite of all [Jemima]_217-jemima 's endeavours to interest [her]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth roused up into animation when [Ruth]_81-ruth came in with a flower , a book , or a brown and ruddy pear , sending out the warm fragrance it retained from the sunny garden - wall at [Chapel - house]_{2646-chapel - house} . The jealous dislike which [Jemima]_217-jemima was allowing to grow up in [her]_217-jemima heart against [Ruth]_81-ruth was , as [she]_217-jemima thought , never shown in word or deed . [She]_217-jemima was cold in manner , because [she]_217-jemima could not be hypocritical ; but [her]_217-jemima words were polite and kind in purport ; and [she]_217-jemima took pains to make [her]_217-jemima actions the same as formerly . But rule and line may measure out the figure of [a man]_{650-a man} ; it is the soul that gives it life ; and there was no soul , no inner meaning , breathing out in [Jemima]_217-jemima 's actions . [Ruth]_81-ruth felt the change acutely . [She]_81-ruth suffered from it some time before [she]_81-ruth ventured to ask what had occasioned it . But , one day , [she]_81-ruth took [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} by surprise , when [they]_2648-they were alone together for a few minutes , by asking [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} if [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had vexed [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} in any way , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was so changed ? It is sad when friendship has cooled so far as to render such a question necessary . [Jemima]_217-jemima went rather paler than usual , and then made answer : " Changed ! How do [you]_81-ruth mean ? How am [I]_217-jemima changed ? What do [I]_217-jemima say or do different from what [I]_217-jemima used to do ? "_[217-jemima] But the tone was so constrained and cold , that [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart sank within [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth knew now , as well as words could have told [her]_81-ruth , that not only had the old feeling of love passed away from [Jemima]_217-jemima , but that it had gone unregretted , and no attempt had been made to recall it . Love was very precious to [Ruth]_81-ruth now , as of old time . It was one of the faults of [her]_81-ruth nature to be ready to make any sacrifices for those who loved [her]_81-ruth , and to value affection almost above its price . [She]_81-ruth had yet to learn the lesson , that it is more blessed to love than to be beloved ; and lonely as the impressible years of [her]_81-ruth youth had been -- without [parents]_724-parents , without [brother]_4681-brother or [sister]_4728-sister -- it was , perhaps , no wonder that [she]_81-ruth clung tenaciously to every symptom of regard , and could not relinquish the love of [any one]_{425-any one} without a pang . [The doctor who was called in to [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth}]_{2653-the doctor who was called in to elizabeth} prescribed [sea -]_{2654-sea -} air as the best means of recruiting [her]_{195-elizabeth} strength . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , who liked to spend money ostentatiously , went down straight to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth , and engaged [a house]_{4183-a house} for the remainder of the autumn ; for , as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} told [the medical man]_{597-the medical man} , money was no object to [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} in comparison with [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} children]_{5138-his children} 's health ; and [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} cared too little about the mode in which [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} remedy was administered , to tell [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} that [lodgings]_{4742-lodgings} would have done as well , or better , than [the complete house [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had seen fit to take]_{2660-the complete house he had seen fit to take} . For it was now necessary to engage [servants]_831-servants , and take much trouble , which might have been obviated , and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} 's removal effected more quietly and speedily , if [she]_{195-elizabeth} had gone into [lodgings]_{4742-lodgings} . As it was , [she]_{195-elizabeth} was weary of hearing all the planning and talking , and deciding and un - deciding , and re - deciding , before it was possible for [her]_{195-elizabeth} to go . [Her]_{195-elizabeth} only comfort was in the thought that [dear Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} was to go with [her]_{195-elizabeth} . It had not been entirely by way of pompously spending [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} money that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had engaged [this seaside house]_{2663-this seaside house} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was glad to get [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} little girls]_{2664-his little girls} and [[their]_{2664-his little girls} governess]_{2665-their governess} out of the way ; for a busy time was impending , when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} should want [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} head clear for electioneering purposes , and [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} house]_{2164-his house} clear for electioneering hospitality . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was the mover of a project for bringing forward [a man on the Liberal and Dissenting interest]_{2667-a man on the liberal and dissenting interest} , to contest the election with [the old Tory member , who had on several successive occasions walked over the course]_{2668-the old tory member , who had on several successive occasions walked over the course} , as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} family]_{2669-his family} owned half [the town]_{396-the town} , and votes and rent were paid alike to [the landlord]_{1009-the landlord} . [Kings of Eccleston]_{222-eccleston} had [Mr Cranworth]_{223-mr cranworth} and [[his]_{223-mr cranworth} ancestors]_{2672-his ancestors} been this many a long year ; [their]_{222-eccleston} right was so little disputed that [they]_{222-eccleston} never thought of acknowledging the allegiance so readily paid to [them]_{222-eccleston} . The old feudal feeling between [land - owner]_{2673-land - owner} and [tenant]_2674-tenant did not quake prophetically at the introduction of manufactures ; [the Cranworth family]_{2675-the cranworth family} ignored the growing power of [the manufacturers]_{2676-the manufacturers} , more especially as [the principal person engaged in the trade]_{2677-the principal person engaged in the trade} was [a Dissenter]_{5094-a dissenter} . But notwithstanding this lack of patronage from [the one great family in [the neighbourhood]_{849-the neighbourhood}]_{2679-the one great family in the neighbourhood} , the business flourished , increased , and spread wide ; and [the Dissenting head thereof]_{2681-the dissenting head thereof} looked around , about the time of which [I]_0-i speak , and felt [himself]_{2681-the dissenting head thereof} powerful enough to defy the great [Cranworth]_51-cranworth interest even in [[their]_{2679-the one great family in the neighbourhood} hereditary stronghold]_{2682-their hereditary stronghold} , and , by so doing , avenge the slights of many years -- slights which rankled in [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's mind as much as if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not go to [chapel]_1864-chapel twice every Sunday , and pay the largest pew - rent of [any member of [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's congregation]_{2685-mr benson 's congregation}]_{2684-any member of mr benson 's congregation} . Accordingly , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had applied to [one of [the Liberal parliamentary agents in [London]_3-london]_{2687-the liberal parliamentary agents in london}]_{2686-one of the liberal parliamentary agents in london} -- [a man whose only principle was to do wrong on the Liberal side]_{2688-a man whose only principle was to do wrong on the liberal side} ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would not act , right or wrong , for [a Tory]_{2689-a tory} , but for [a Whig]_{2690-a whig} the latitude of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} conscience had never yet been discovered . It was possible [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was not aware of the character of [this agent]_{2691-this agent} ; at any rate , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} knew [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [the man for [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} purpose , which was to hear of [some one who would come forward as a candidate for the representation of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston on [the Dissenting interest]_{2694-the dissenting interest}]_{2693-some one who would come forward as a candidate for the representation of eccleston on the dissenting interest}]_{2692-the man for his purpose , which was to hear of some one who would come forward as a candidate for the representation of eccleston on the dissenting interest} . " There are [in round numbers about six hundred voters]_{5427-in round numbers about six hundred voters} , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; " two hundred are decidedly in the [Cranworth]_51-cranworth interest -- dare not offend [Mr Cranworth]_{223-mr cranworth} , [poor souls]_{5428-poor souls} ! Two hundred more [we]_5429-we may calculate upon as pretty certain -- [factory hands]_{5430-factory hands} , or [people]_322-people connected with [our]_5429-we trade in some way or another -- who are indignant at the stubborn way in which [Cranworth]_51-cranworth has contested the right of water ; two hundred are doubtful . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " Do n't much care either way , "_{[2695-the parliamentary agent]} said [the parliamentary agent]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} . " Of course , [we]_5429-we must make [them]_322-people care . "_{[2695-the parliamentary agent]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} rather shrunk from the knowing look with which this was said . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} hoped that [Mr Pilson]_{224-mr pilson} did not mean to allude to bribery ; but [he]_{224-mr pilson} did not express this hope , because [he]_{224-mr pilson} thought it would deter [the agent]_{2696-the agent} from using this means , and it was possible it might prove to be the only way . And if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} ( [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ) once embarked on such an enterprise , there must be no failure . By some expedient or another , success must be certain , or [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could have nothing to do with it . [The parliamentary agent]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} was well accustomed to deal with all kinds and shades of scruples . [He]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} was most at home with [men who had none]_{2698-men who had none} ; but still [he]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} could allow for human weakness ; and [he]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} perfectly understood [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " [I]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} have a notion [I]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} know of [a man who will just suit [your]_{149-mr bradshaw} purpose]_{5432-a man who will just suit your purpose} . Plenty of money -- does not know what to do with it , in fact -- tired of yachting , travelling ; wants something new . [I]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} heard , through some of the means of intelligence [I]_{2695-the parliamentary agent} employ , that not very long ago [he]_{5432-a man who will just suit your purpose} was wishing for a seat in Parliament . "_{[2695-the parliamentary agent]} " [A Liberal]_{5433-a liberal} ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " Decidedly . Belongs to [a family who were in the Long Parliament in [their]_{5434-a family who were in the long parliament in their day} day]_{5434-a family who were in the long parliament in their day} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} rubbed [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} hands . " [Dissenter]_{5435-dissenter} ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} asked [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " No , no ! Not so far as that . But very lax Church . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " What is [his]_{5432-a man who will just suit your purpose} name ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} asked [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , eagerly . " Excuse [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} . Until [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am certain that [he]_{5432-a man who will just suit your purpose} would like to come forward for [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} think [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} had better not mention [his]_{5432-a man who will just suit your purpose} name . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [The anonymous gentleman]_{2699-the anonymous gentleman} did like to come forward , and [his]_{2699-the anonymous gentleman} name proved to be [Donne]_{225-mr donne} . [He]_{2699-the anonymous gentleman} and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been in correspondence during all the time of [Mr Ralph Cranworth]_{223-mr cranworth} 's illness ; and when [he]_{223-mr cranworth} died , everything was arranged ready for a start , even before [the Cranworths]_{226-the cranworths} had determined who should keep the seat warm till [the eldest son]_{2700-the eldest son} came of age , for [the father]_{2701-the father} was [already member for [the county]_{295-the county}]_{2702-already member for the county} . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was to come down to canvass in person , and was to take up [[his]_{225-mr donne} abode at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's]_{2704-his abode at mr bradshaw 's} ; and therefore it was that [the seaside house]_{2705-the seaside house} , within twenty miles ' distance of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , was found to be so convenient as [an infirmary]_{2706-an infirmary} and nursery for [those members of [[his]_{223-mr cranworth} family]_{2669-his family} who were likely to be useless , if not positive encumbrances , during the forthcoming election]_{2707-those members of his family who were likely to be useless , if not positive encumbrances , during the forthcoming election} . CHAPTER XXII [The Liberal Candidate]_{2709-the liberal candidate} and [His]_{2709-the liberal candidate} Precursor [Jemima]_217-jemima did not know whether [she]_217-jemima wished to go to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth or not . [She]_217-jemima longed for change . [She]_217-jemima wearied of the sights and sounds of [home]_4124-home . But yet [she]_217-jemima could not bear to leave [the neighbourhood of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar}]_{2711-the neighbourhood of mr farquhar} ; especially as , if [she]_217-jemima went to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth , [Ruth]_81-ruth would in all probability be left to take [her]_81-ruth holiday at [home]_4124-home . When [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} decided that [she]_217-jemima was to go , [Ruth]_81-ruth tried to feel glad that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} gave [her]_217-jemima the means of repairing [her]_217-jemima fault towards [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} ; and [she]_81-ruth resolved to watch over [the two girls]_{2614-the two girls} most faithfully and carefully , and to do all in [her]_81-ruth power to restore [the invalid to health]_{2714-the invalid to health} . But a tremor came over [her]_81-ruth whenever [she]_81-ruth thought of leaving [Leonard]_104-leonard ; [she]_81-ruth had never quitted [him]_104-leonard for a day , and it seemed to [her]_81-ruth as if [her]_81-ruth brooding , constant care was [his]_104-leonard natural and necessary shelter from all evils -- from very death itself . [She]_81-ruth would not go to sleep at nights , in order to enjoy the blessed consciousness of having [him]_104-leonard near [her]_81-ruth ; when [she]_81-ruth was away from [him]_104-leonard teaching [[her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} , [she]_81-ruth kept trying to remember [his]_104-leonard face , and print it deep on [her]_81-ruth heart , against the time when days and days would elapse without [her]_81-ruth seeing [that little darling countenance]_{2716-that little darling countenance} . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} would wonder to [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not propose that [Leonard]_104-leonard should accompany [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} only begged [her]_81-ruth not to put such an idea into [Ruth]_81-ruth 's head , as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was sure [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had no thoughts of doing any such thing , yet to [Ruth]_81-ruth it might be a hope , and then a disappointment . [[His]_{149-mr bradshaw} sister]_{4508-his sister} scolded [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} for being so cold - hearted ; but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was full of sympathy , although [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not express it , and made some quiet little sacrifices in order to set [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} at liberty to take [Leonard]_104-leonard a long walking expedition on the day when [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} left [Eccleston]_36-eccleston . [Ruth]_81-ruth cried until [she]_81-ruth could cry no longer , and felt very much ashamed of [herself]_81-ruth as [she]_81-ruth saw the grave and wondering looks of [[her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} , whose only feeling on leaving [home]_4124-home was delight at the idea of [Abermouth]_50-abermouth , and into whose minds the possibility of death to any of [[their]_{2406-her pupils} beloved ones]_{2723-their beloved ones} never entered . [Ruth]_81-ruth dried [her]_81-ruth eyes , and spoke cheerfully as soon as [she]_81-ruth caught the perplexed expression of [their]_{2406-her pupils} faces ; and by the time [they]_{2406-her pupils} arrived at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth , [she]_81-ruth was as much delighted with all the new scenery as [they]_{2406-her pupils} were , and found it hard work to resist [their]_{2406-her pupils} entreaties to go rambling out on [the seashore]_{2724-the seashore} at once ; but [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} had undergone more fatigue that day than [she]_{195-elizabeth} had had before for many weeks , and [Ruth]_81-ruth was determined to be prudent . Meanwhile , [[the Bradshaws]_{206-the bradshaws} ' house at [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{2725-the bradshaws ' house at eccleston} was being rapidly adapted for electioneering hospitality . The partition - wall between [the unused drawing - room]_{2726-the unused drawing - room} and [the school - room]_{2575-the school - room} was broken down , in order to admit of folding doors ; [the " ingenious "_{[2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town]} upholsterer of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town} ( and what [town]_666-town does not boast of [the upholsterer full of contrivances and resources]_{2731-the upholsterer full of contrivances and resources} , in opposition to [the upholsterer of steady capital and no imagination]_{2732-the upholsterer of steady capital and no imagination} , who looks down with uneasy contempt on ingenuity ? ) had come in to give [his]_{2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town} opinion , that " nothing could be easier than to convert [a bathroom]_{5436-a bathroom} into [a bedroom]_{5437-a bedroom} , by the assistance of a little drapery to conceal the shower - bath , "_{[2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town]} the string of which was to be carefully concealed , for fear that [the unconscious occupier of the bath - bed]_{2733-the unconscious occupier of the bath - bed} might innocently take it for a bell - rope . [The professional cook of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{2734-the professional cook of the town} had been already engaged to take up [her]_{2734-the professional cook of the town} abode for a month at [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's]_{2425-mr bradshaw 's} , much to the indignation of [Betsy]_{195-elizabeth} , who became [a vehement partisan of [Mr Cranworth]_{223-mr cranworth}]_{2737-a vehement partisan of mr cranworth} , as soon as ever [she]_{195-elizabeth} heard of the plan of [her]_{195-elizabeth} deposition from sovereign authority in [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , in which [she]_{195-elizabeth} had reigned supreme for fourteen years . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} sighed and bemoaned [herself]_{151-mrs bradshaw} in all [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} leisure moments , which were not many , and wondered why [[their]_2739-their house]_{2740-their house} was to be turned into [an inn for [this Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne}]_{2741-an inn for this mr donne} , when [everybody]_{505-everybody} knew that [the George]_{2743-the george} was good enough for [the Cranworths]_{226-the cranworths} , who never thought of asking [the electors]_{2744-the electors} to [the Hall;--and]_{2745-the hall;--and} [they]_2739-their had lived at [Cranworth]_51-cranworth ever since [Julius Caesar]_{227-julius caesar} 's time , and if that was not being [an old family]_{2746-an old family} , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} did not know what was . The excitement soothed [Jemima]_217-jemima . There was something to do . It was [she]_217-jemima who planned with [the upholsterer]_{2747-the upholsterer} ; it was [she]_217-jemima who soothed [Betsy]_{195-elizabeth} into angry silence ; it was [she]_217-jemima who persuaded [[her]_{195-elizabeth} mother]_{710-her mother} to lie down and rest , while [she]_217-jemima [herself]_217-jemima went out to buy the heterogeneous things required to make [the family]_{693-the family} and house presentable to [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} and [[his]_{225-mr donne} precursor]_{2750-his precursor} -- [the friend of [the parliamentary agent]_{2695-the parliamentary agent}]_{2751-the friend of the parliamentary agent} . [This latter gentleman]_{2753-this latter gentleman} never appeared [himself]_{2753-this latter gentleman} on the scene of action , but pulled all the strings notwithstanding . [The friend]_{2754-the friend} was [a Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} , [a lawyer]_{5198-a lawyer} -- [a briefless barrister]_{2756-a briefless barrister} , [some people]_{1567-some people} called [him]_{228-mr hickson} ; but [he]_{228-mr hickson} [himself]_{228-mr hickson} professed a great disgust to the law , as a " great sham , "_{[228-mr hickson]} which involved an immensity of underhand action , and truckling , and time - serving , and was perfectly encumbered by useless forms and ceremonies , and dead obsolete words . So , instead of putting [his]_{228-mr hickson} shoulder to the wheel to reform the law , [he]_{228-mr hickson} talked eloquently against it , in such a high - priest style , that it was occasionally a matter of surprise how [he]_{228-mr hickson} could ever have made [a friend of [the parliamentary agent]_{2695-the parliamentary agent}]_{2758-a friend of the parliamentary agent} before mentioned . But , as [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} [himself]_{228-mr hickson} said , it was the very corruptness of the law which [he]_{228-mr hickson} was fighting against , in doing all [he]_{228-mr hickson} could to effect the return of [certain members to Parliament]_{2760-certain members to parliament} ; [these certain members]_{2761-these certain members} being pledged to effect a reform in the law , according to [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} . And , as [he]_{228-mr hickson} once observed confidentially , " If [you]_5438-you had to destroy [a hydra - headed monster]_{5439-a hydra - headed monster} , would [you]_5438-you measure swords with [the demon]_{2623-the demon} as if [he]_{2623-the demon} were [a gentleman]_{1084-a gentleman} ? Would [you]_5438-you not rather seize the first weapon that came to hand ? And so do [I.]_5442-i. [My]_{228-mr hickson} great object in life , [sir]_4181-sir , is to reform the law of [England]_21-england , [sir]_4181-sir . Once get [a majority of [Liberal members]_{5446-liberal members}]_{5445-a majority of liberal members} into [the House]_{426-the house} , and the thing is done . And [I]_{228-mr hickson} consider [myself]_{228-mr hickson} justified , for so high -- for , [I]_{228-mr hickson} may say , so holy -- an end , in using [men]_836-men 's weaknesses to work out [my]_{228-mr hickson} purpose . Of course , if [men]_836-men were [angels]_5450-angels , or even immaculate -- [men invulnerable to bribes]_{5451-men invulnerable to bribes} , [we]_5452-we would not bribe . "_{[228-mr hickson]} " Could [you]_{228-mr hickson} ? "_[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , for the conversation took place at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's dinner - table , where [a few friends]_{2762-a few friends} were gathered together to meet [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} ; and among [them]_{2762-a few friends} was [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [We]_5452-we neither would nor could , "_{[2763-the ardent barrister]} said [the ardent barrister]_{2763-the ardent barrister} , disregarding in [his]_{2763-the ardent barrister} vehemence the point of the question , and floating on over the bar of argument into the wide ocean of [his]_{2763-the ardent barrister} own eloquence : " As it is -- as [the world]_{506-the world} stands , [they who would succeed even in good deeds]_{5454-they who would succeed even in good deeds} must come down to the level of expediency ; and therefore , [I]_{2763-the ardent barrister} say once more , if [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} is [the man]_{5002-the man} for [your]_{228-mr hickson} purpose , and [your]_{228-mr hickson} purpose is [a good one , a lofty one]_{5456-a good one , a lofty one} , [a holy one]_{5457-a holy one} "_{[2763-the ardent barrister]} ( for [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} remembered the Dissenting character of [[his]_{228-mr hickson} little audience]_{2764-his little audience} , and privately considered the introduction of the word " holy "_{[2763-the ardent barrister]} a most happy hit ) , " then , [I]_2765-i say , [we]_5452-we must put all the squeamish scruples which might befit [Utopia]_52-utopia , or [some such place]_{5458-some such place} , on one side , and treat [men]_836-men as [they]_836-men are . If [they]_836-men are avaricious , it is not [we]_5452-we who have made [them]_836-men so ; but as [we]_5452-we have to do with [them]_836-men , [we]_5452-we must consider [their]_836-men failings in dealing with [them]_836-men ; if [they]_836-men have been careless or extravagant , or have had [their]_836-men little peccadillos , [we]_5452-we must administer the screw . The glorious reform of the law will justify , in [my]_2765-i idea , all means to obtain the end -- that law , from the profession of which [I]_2765-i have withdrawn [myself]_2765-i from perhaps a too scrupulous conscience ! "_[2765-i] [he]_2765-i concluded softly to [himself]_2765-i . " [We]_5452-we are not to do evil that good may come , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{143-mr benson} was startled at the deep sound of [his]_{143-mr benson} own voice as [he]_{143-mr benson} uttered these words ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} had not been speaking for some time , and [his]_{143-mr benson} voice came forth strong and unmodulated . " True , [sir]_4181-sir ; most true , "_{[228-mr hickson]} said [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} , bowing . " [I]_{228-mr hickson} honour [you]_4181-sir for the observation . "_{[228-mr hickson]} And [he]_{228-mr hickson} profited by it , insomuch that [he]_{228-mr hickson} confined [his]_{228-mr hickson} further remarks on elections to the end of the table , where [he]_{228-mr hickson} sat near [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and one or two equally eager , though not equally influential partisans of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's . Meanwhile , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} took up [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's quotation , at the end where [he]_{228-mr hickson} and [Jemima]_217-jemima sat near to [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} and [him]_{228-mr hickson} . " But in the present state of [the world]_{506-the world} , as [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} says , it is rather difficult to act upon that precept . "_{[228-mr hickson]} " Oh , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , indignantly , the tears springing to [her]_217-jemima eyes with a feeling of disappointment . For [she]_217-jemima had been chafing under all that [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} had been saying , perhaps the more for one or two attempts on [his]_{228-mr hickson} part at a flirtation with [the daughter of [[his]_{228-mr hickson} wealthy host]_{2767-his wealthy host}]_{2766-the daughter of his wealthy host} , which [she]_217-jemima resented with all the loathing of a pre - occupied heart ; and [she]_217-jemima had longed to be [a man]_{650-a man} , to speak out [her]_217-jemima wrath at this paltering with right and wrong . [She]_217-jemima had felt grateful to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} for [his]_{143-mr benson} one clear , short precept , coming down with a divine force against which there was no appeal ; and now to have [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} taking the side of expediency ! It was too bad . " Nay , [Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , touched , and secretly flattered by the visible pain [his]_{193-mr farquhar} speech had given . " Do n't be indignant with [me]_{193-mr farquhar} till [I]_{193-mr farquhar} have explained [myself]_{193-mr farquhar} a little more . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} do n't understand [myself]_{193-mr farquhar} yet ; and it is a very intricate question , or so it appears to [me]_{193-mr farquhar} , which [I]_{193-mr farquhar} was going to put , really , earnestly , and humbly , for [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's opinion . Now , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , may [I]_{193-mr farquhar} ask , if [you]_{143-mr benson} always find it practicable to act strictly in accordance with that principle ? For if [you]_{143-mr benson} do not , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am sure [no man living]_{5462-no man living} can ! Are there not occasions when it is absolutely necessary to wade through evil to good ? [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am not speaking in the careless , presumptuous way of [that man yonder]_{5463-that man yonder} , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [he]_{193-mr farquhar} , lowering [his]_{193-mr farquhar} voice , and addressing [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} to [Jemima]_217-jemima more exclusively ; " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am really anxious to hear what [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} will say on the subject , for [I]_{193-mr farquhar} know [no one to whose candid opinion]_{5464-no one to whose candid opinion} [I]_{193-mr farquhar} should attach more weight . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} But [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was silent . [He]_{143-mr benson} did not see [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} and [Jemima]_217-jemima leave [the room]_{357-the room} . [He]_{143-mr benson} was really , as [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} supposed [him]_{143-mr benson} , completely absent , questioning [himself]_{143-mr benson} as to how far [his]_{143-mr benson} practice tallied with [his]_{143-mr benson} principle . By degrees [he]_{143-mr benson} came to [himself]_{143-mr benson} ; [he]_{143-mr benson} found the conversation still turned on the election ; and [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} , who felt that [he]_{143-mr benson} had jarred against [the little minister]_{2770-the little minister} 's principles , and yet knew , from the _ carte du pays _ which [the scouts of [the parliamentary agent]_{2695-the parliamentary agent}]_{2771-the scouts of the parliamentary agent} had given [him]_{143-mr benson} , that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was [a person to be conciliated]_{2773-a person to be conciliated} , on account of [his]_{143-mr benson} influence over [many of [the working people]_{2775-the working people}]_{2774-many of the working people} , began to ask [him]_{143-mr benson} questions with an air of deferring to superior knowledge , that almost surprised [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , who had been accustomed to treat " [Benson]_{143-mr benson} "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} in a very different fashion , of civil condescending indulgence , just as [one]_321-one listens to [a child who can have had no opportunities of knowing better]_{2777-a child who can have had no opportunities of knowing better} . At the end of a conversation that [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} held with [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , on a subject in which [the latter]_{1745-the latter} was really interested , and on which [he]_{143-mr benson} had expressed [himself]_{143-mr benson} at some length , [the young barrister]_{2779-the young barrister} turned to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and said very audibly , " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} wish [Donne]_{225-mr donne} had been [here]_4172-here . This conversation during the last half - hour would have interested [him]_{225-mr donne} almost as much as it has done [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} little guessed the truth , that [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was , at that very moment , coaching up the various subjects of public interest in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , and privately cursing the particular subject on which [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had been holding forth , as being an unintelligible piece of Quixotism ; or [the leading Dissenter of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{2780-the leading dissenter of the town} need not have experienced a pang of jealousy at the possible future admiration [[his]_{143-mr benson} minister]_{2782-his minister} might excite in [the possible future member for [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{2783-the possible future member for eccleston} . And if [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had been clairvoyant , [he]_{143-mr benson} need not have made an especial subject of gratitude out of the likelihood that [he]_{143-mr benson} might have an opportunity of so far interesting [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} in the condition of [the people of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{2784-the people of eccleston} as to induce [him]_{143-mr benson} to set [his]_{143-mr benson} face against any attempts at bribery . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} thought of this half the night through ; and ended by determining to write a sermon on the Christian view of political duties , which might be good for all , both [electors]_{2785-electors} and [member]_2786-member , to hear on the eve of an election . For [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was expected at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's before the next Sunday ; and , of course , as [Mr]_2787-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had settled it , [he]_{225-mr donne} would appear at [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel} with [them]_2789-them on that day . But the stinging conscience refused to be quieted . No present plan of usefulness allayed the aching remembrance of the evil [he]_{225-mr donne} had done that good might come . Not even the look of [Leonard]_104-leonard , as the early dawn fell on [him]_104-leonard , and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's sleepless eyes saw the rosy glow on [his]_104-leonard firm round cheeks ; [his]_104-leonard open mouth , through which the soft , long - drawn breath came gently quivering ; and [his]_104-leonard eyes not fully shut , but closed to outward sight -- not even the aspect of [the quiet , innocent child]_{2790-the quiet , innocent child} could soothe the troubled spirit . [Leonard]_104-leonard and [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} dreamt of [each other]_{579-each other} that night . [Her]_{655-his mother} dream of [him]_104-leonard was one of undefined terror -- terror so great that it wakened [her]_{655-his mother} up , and [she]_{655-his mother} strove not to sleep again , for fear that ominous ghastly dream should return . [He]_104-leonard , on the contrary , dreamt of [her]_{655-his mother} sitting watching and smiling by [his]_104-leonard bedside , as [her]_{655-his mother} gentle self had been many a morning ; and when [she]_{655-his mother} saw [him]_104-leonard awake ( so it fell out in the dream ) , [she]_{655-his mother} smiled still more sweetly , and bending down [she]_{655-his mother} kissed [him]_104-leonard , and then spread out large , soft , white - feathered wings ( which in no way surprised [[her]_{655-his mother} child]_{631-her child} -- [he]_104-leonard seemed to have known they were there all along ) , and sailed away through the open window far into the blue sky of a summer 's day . [Leonard]_104-leonard wakened up then , and remembered how far away [she]_{655-his mother} really was -- far more distant and inaccessible than the beautiful blue sky to which [she]_{655-his mother} had betaken [herself]_{655-his mother} in [his]_104-leonard dream -- and cried [himself]_104-leonard to sleep again . In spite of [her]_{655-his mother} absence from [[her]_{655-his mother} child]_{631-her child} , which made one great and abiding sorrow , [Ruth]_81-ruth enjoyed [her]_81-ruth seaside visit exceedingly . In the first place , there was the delight of seeing [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} 's daily and almost hourly improvement . Then , at [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} 's express orders , there were so few lessons to be done , that there was time for the long exploring rambles , which [all three]_{2796-all three} delighted in . And when the rain came and the storms blew , [the house]_{426-the house} , with [its]_{426-the house} wild sea - views , was equally delightful . It was [a large house]_{2798-a large house} , built on the summit of a rock , which nearly overhung [the shore below]_{2799-the shore below} ; there were , to be sure , a series of zigzag tacking paths down the face of this rock , but from [the house]_{426-the house} [they]_2801-they could not be seen . [Old or delicate people]_{2802-old or delicate people} would have considered the situation bleak and exposed ; indeed , [the present proprietor]_{2803-the present proprietor} wanted to dispose of [it]_{426-the house} on this very account ; but by [its present inhabitants]_{2804-its present inhabitants} , this exposure and bleakness were called by other names , and considered as charms . From every part of [the rooms]_{1057-the rooms} [they]_{2796-all three} saw the grey storms gather on [the sea - horizon]_{2806-the sea - horizon} , and put [themselves]_{2796-all three} in marching array ; and soon the march became a sweep , and the great dome of the heavens was covered with the lurid clouds , between which and the vivid green earth below there seemed to come a purple atmosphere , making the very threatening beautiful ; and by - and - by [the house]_{426-the house} was wrapped in sheets of rain shutting out sky , and [sea]_4716-sea , and inland view ; till , of a sudden , the storm was gone by , and the heavy rain - drops glistened in the sun as they hung on leaf and grass , and the " little birds sang east , and the little birds sang west , "_[81-ruth] and there was a pleasant sound of running waters all abroad . " Oh ! if [papa]_4310-papa would but buy [this house]_{4203-this house} ! "_{[195-elizabeth]} exclaimed [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , after one such storm , which [she]_{195-elizabeth} had watched silently from the very beginning of the " little cloud no bigger than [a man]_{650-a man} 's hand . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " [Mamma]_113-mamma would never like it , [I]_118-mary am afraid , "_[118-mary] said [Mary]_118-mary . " [She]_113-mamma would call [our]_{2796-all three} delicious gushes of air , draughts , and think [we]_{2796-all three} should catch cold . "_{[195-elizabeth]} " [Jemima]_217-jemima would be on [our]_{2796-all three} side . But how long [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} is ! [I]_81-ruth hope [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} was near enough [the post - office]_{5469-the post - office} when the rain came on ! "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth had gone to " [the shop]_{1153-the shop} "_{[195-elizabeth]} in [the little village , about half - a - mile distant]_{2809-the little village , about half - a - mile distant} , where all letters were left till fetched . [She]_81-ruth only expected one , but that one was to tell [her]_81-ruth of [Leonard]_104-leonard . [She]_81-ruth , however , received two ; the unexpected one was from [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and the news it contained was , if possible , a greater surprise than the letter itself . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} informed [her]_81-ruth , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} planned arriving by dinner - time the following Saturday at [[Eagle]_229-eagle 's Crag]_{2810-eagle 's crag} ; and more , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} intended bringing [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} and [one or two other gentlemen]_{2811-one or two other gentlemen} with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , to spend the Sunday there ! The letter went on to give every possible direction regarding the household preparations . The dinner - hour was fixed to be at six ; but , of course , [Ruth]_81-ruth and [the girls]_{414-the girls} would have dined long before . [The ( professional ) cook]_{2813-the ( professional ) cook} would arrive the day before , laden with all the provisions that could not be obtained on the spot . [Ruth]_81-ruth was to engage [a waiter from [the inn]_{1055-the inn}]_{2814-a waiter from the inn} , and this it was that detained [her]_81-ruth so long . While [she]_81-ruth sat in [the little parlour]_{744-the little parlour} , awaiting the coming of [the landlady]_{1072-the landlady} , [she]_81-ruth could not help wondering why [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was bringing [this strange gentleman]_{2818-this strange gentleman} to spend two days at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth , and thus giving [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} so much trouble and fuss of preparation . There were so many small reasons that went to make up the large one which had convinced [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} of the desirableness of this step , that it was not likely that [Ruth]_81-ruth should guess at one half of them . In the first place , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , in the pride and fulness of [her]_2819-her heart , had told [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} what [[her]_2819-her brother]_{982-her brother} had told [her]_2819-her ; how [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} meant to preach upon the Christian view of the duties involved in political rights ; and as , of course , [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had told [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} began to dislike the idea of attending [chapel]_1864-chapel on that Sunday at all ; for [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had an uncomfortable idea that by the Christian standard -- that divine test of the true and pure -- bribery would not be altogether approved of ; and yet [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was tacitly coming round to the understanding that " packets "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} would be required , for what purpose both [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} were to be supposed to remain ignorant . But it would be very awkward , so near to the time , if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} were to be clearly convinced that bribery , however disguised by names and words , was in plain terms a sin . And yet [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} knew [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had once or twice convinced [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} against [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} will of certain things , which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had thenceforward found it impossible to do , without such great uneasiness of mind , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had left off doing them , which was sadly against [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} interest . And if [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} ( whom [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had intended to take with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} to [chapel]_1864-chapel , as [fair Dissenting prey]_{2823-fair dissenting prey} ) should also become convinced , why , [the Cranworths]_{226-the cranworths} would win the day , and [he]_{225-mr donne} should be [the laughing - stock of [Eccleston]_{222-eccleston}]_{2824-the laughing - stock of eccleston} . No ! in this one case bribery must be allowed -- was allowable ; but it was a great pity human nature was so corrupt , and if [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} member]_{2825-his member} succeeded , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would double [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} subscription to [the schools]_{2826-the schools} , in order that [the next generation]_{2827-the next generation} might be taught better . There were various other reasons , which strengthened [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} in the bright idea of going down to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth for the Sunday ; some connected with the out - of - door politics , and some with [the domestic]_{2828-the domestic} . For instance , it had been the plan of [the house]_{426-the house} to have a cold dinner on the Sundays -- [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had piqued [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} on this strictness -- and yet [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had an instinctive feeling that [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was not quite [the man]_{5002-the man} to partake of cold meat for conscience ' sake with cheerful indifference to [his]_{225-mr donne} fare . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} had , in fact , taken [the Bradshaw household]_{2831-the bradshaw household} a little by surprise . Before [he]_{225-mr donne} came , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had pleased [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} with thinking , that more unlikely things had happened than the espousal of [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} with [the member of [a small borough]_{2834-a small borough}]_{2833-the member of a small borough} . But this pretty airy bubble burst as soon as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} saw [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} ; and its very existence was forgotten in less than half an hour , when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} felt the quiet but incontestible difference of rank and standard that there was , in every respect , between [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} guest]_{2835-his guest} and [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own family]_{776-his own family} . It was not through any circumstance so palpable , and possibly accidental , as the bringing down [a servant]_{5095-a servant} , whom [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} seemed to consider as much a matter of course as a carpet - bag ( though [the smart gentleman]_{2838-the smart gentleman} 's arrival " fluttered [the Volscians]_{230-the volscians} in [Corioli]_53-corioli "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} considerably more than [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} gentle - spoken master]_{2839-his gentle - spoken master} 's ) . It was nothing like this ; it was something indescribable -- [a quiet being at ease]_{2840-a quiet being at ease} , and expecting [every one else]_{2841-every one else} to be so -- an attention to [women]_4167-women , which was so habitual as to be unconsciously exercised to [those subordinate persons in [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's family]_{2196-mr bradshaw 's family}]_{2843-those subordinate persons in mr bradshaw 's family} -- a happy choice of simple and expressive words , some of which it must be confessed were slang , but fashionable slang , and that makes all the difference -- a measured , graceful way of utterance , with a style of pronunciation quite different to that of [Eccleston]_{222-eccleston} . All these put together make but a part of the indescribable whole which unconsciously affected [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and established [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} in [his]_{225-mr donne} estimation as a creature quite different to any [he]_{225-mr donne} had seen before , and as most unfit to mate with [Jemima]_217-jemima . [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} , who had appeared as [a model of gentlemanly ease]_{2845-a model of gentlemanly ease} before [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's arrival , now became vulgar and coarse in [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's eyes . And yet , such was the charm of that languid , high - bred manner , that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} " cottoned "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} ( as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} expressed it to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ) to [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} new candidate]_{2846-his new candidate} at once . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was only afraid lest [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was too indifferent to all things under the sun to care whether [he]_{225-mr donne} gained or lost the election ; but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was reassured after the first conversation [they]_2847-they had together on the subject . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's eye lightened with an eagerness that was almost fierce , though [his]_{225-mr donne} tones were as musical , and nearly as slow , as ever ; and when [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} alluded distantly to " probable expenses "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} and " packets , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} replied , " Oh , of course ! disagreeable necessity ! Better speak as little about such things as possible ; [other people]_{2376-other people} can be found to arrange all the dirty work . Neither [you]_5472-you nor [I]_{225-mr donne} would like to soil [our]_2847-they fingers by it , [I]_{225-mr donne} am sure . Four thousand pounds are in [Mr Pilson]_{224-mr pilson} 's hands , and [I]_{225-mr donne} shall never inquire what becomes of them ; they may , very probably , be absorbed in the law expenses , [you]_5472-you know . [I]_{225-mr donne} shall let it be clearly understood from the hustings , that [I]_{225-mr donne} most decidedly disapprove of bribery , and leave the rest to [[Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} 's management]_{5473-hickson 's management} . [He]_{225-mr donne} is accustomed to these sort of things . [I]_{225-mr donne} am not . "_{[225-mr donne]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was rather perplexed by this want of bustling energy on the part of [the new candidate]_{2848-the new candidate} ; and if it had not been for the four thousand pounds aforesaid , would have doubted whether [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} cared sufficiently for the result of the election . [Jemima]_217-jemima thought differently . [She]_217-jemima watched [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's visitor attentively , with something like the curious observation which [a naturalist]_{2850-a naturalist} bestows on a new species of animal . " Do [you]_5472-you know what [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} reminds [me]_217-jemima of , [mamma]_4143-mamma ? "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima , one day , as [the two]_{1675-the two} sat at work , while [the gentlemen]_{2852-the gentlemen} were absent canvassing . " No ! [he]_{225-mr donne} is not like [[anybody]_5210-anybody [I]_217-jemima ever saw]_{5476-anybody i ever saw} . [He]_{225-mr donne} quite frightens [me]_217-jemima , by being so ready to open the door for [me]_217-jemima if [I]_217-jemima am going out of [the room]_{357-the room} , and by giving [me]_217-jemima a chair when [I]_217-jemima come in . [I]_217-jemima never saw [any one like [him]_{225-mr donne}]_{5478-any one like him} . Who is it , [Jemima]_217-jemima ? "_[217-jemima] " [Not any person]_{5479-not any person} -- not [any human being]_{5480-any human being} , [mamma]_4143-mamma , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , half smiling . " Do [you]_4143-mamma remember [our]_5482-our stopping at [Wakefield]_54-wakefield once , on [our]_5482-our way to [Scarborough]_{55-scarborough} , and there were horse - races going on somewhere , and [some of [the racers]_{5484-the racers}]_{5483-some of the racers} were in [the stables at [the inn where [we]_5482-our dined]_{5486-the inn where we dined}]_{5485-the stables at the inn where we dined} ? "_[217-jemima] " Yes ! [I]_217-jemima remember it ; but what about that ? "_[217-jemima] " Why , [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} , somehow , knew [one of [the jockeys]_{5488-the jockeys}]_{5487-one of the jockeys} , and , as [we]_5482-our were coming in from [our]_5482-our ramble through [the town]_{396-the town} , [this man]_{5490-this man} , or [boy]_5491-boy , asked [us]_5482-our to look at one of [the racers [he]_{5490-this man} had the charge of]_{5492-the racers he had the charge of} . "_[217-jemima] " Well , [[my]_217-jemima dear]_{4145-my dear} ! "_[217-jemima] " Well , [mamma]_4143-mamma ! [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} is like that horse ! "_[217-jemima] " Nonsense , [Jemima]_217-jemima ; [you]_217-jemima must not say so . [I]_217-jemima do n't know what [[your]_217-jemima father]_{5319-your father} would say , if [he]_{5319-your father} heard [you]_217-jemima likening [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} to [a brute]_{5496-a brute} . "_[217-jemima] " [Brutes]_5497-brutes are sometimes very beautiful , [mamma]_4143-mamma . [I]_217-jemima am sure [I]_217-jemima should think it a compliment to be likened to a race - horse , such as the one [we]_5482-our saw . But the thing in which [they]_5497-brutes are alike , is the sort of repressed eagerness in both . "_[217-jemima] " Eager ! Why , [I]_217-jemima should say there never was any one cooler than [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . Think of the trouble [[your]_217-jemima papa]_{5377-your papa} has had this month past , and then remember the slow way in which [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} moves when [he]_{225-mr donne} is going out to canvass , and the low , drawling voice in which [he]_{225-mr donne} questions [the people who bring [him]_{225-mr donne} intelligence]_{5500-the people who bring him intelligence} . [I]_217-jemima can see [[your]_217-jemima papa]_{5377-your papa} standing by , ready to shake [them]_{5500-the people who bring him intelligence} to get out [their]_{5500-the people who bring him intelligence} news . "_[217-jemima] " But [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's questions are always to the point , and force out the grain without the chaff . And look at [him]_{225-mr donne} , if [any one]_{425-any one} tells [him]_{225-mr donne} ill news about the election ! Have [you]_217-jemima never seen a dull red light come into [his]_{225-mr donne} eyes ? That is like [my]_217-jemima race - horse . [Her]_5503-her flesh quivered all over , at certain sounds and noises which had some meaning to [her]_5503-her ; but [she]_5503-her stood quite still , [pretty creature]_{5504-pretty creature} ! Now , [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} is just as eager as [she]_5503-her was , though [he]_{225-mr donne} may be too proud to show it . Though [he]_{225-mr donne} seems so gentle , [I]_217-jemima almost think [he]_{225-mr donne} is very headstrong in following out [his]_{225-mr donne} own will . "_[217-jemima] " Well ! do n't call [him]_{225-mr donne} like a horse again , for [I]_217-jemima am sure [papa]_4310-papa would not like it . Do [you]_217-jemima know , [I]_217-jemima thought [you]_217-jemima were going to say [he]_{225-mr donne} was like [little Leonard]_104-leonard , when [you]_217-jemima asked [me]_217-jemima who [he]_{225-mr donne} was like . "_[217-jemima] " [Leonard]_104-leonard ! Oh , [mamma]_4143-mamma , [he]_{225-mr donne} is not in the least like [Leonard]_104-leonard . [He]_{225-mr donne} is twenty times more like [my]_217-jemima race - horse . "_[217-jemima] Now , [[my]_0-i dear]_{4145-my dear} [Jemima]_217-jemima , do be quiet . [[Your]_217-jemima father]_{5319-your father} thinks racing so wrong , that [I]_0-i am sure [he]_{5319-your father} would be very seriously displeased if [he]_{5319-your father} were to hear [you]_217-jemima . " To return to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and to give one more of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} various reasons for wishing to take [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth . [The wealthy Eccleston manufacturer]_{5507-the wealthy eccleston manufacturer} was uncomfortably impressed with an indefinable sense of inferiority to [[his]_{5507-the wealthy eccleston manufacturer} visitor]_{5508-his visitor} . It was not in education , for [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [a well - educated man]_{5509-a well - educated man} ; it was not in power , for , if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} chose , the present object of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's life might be utterly defeated ; it did not arise from anything overbearing in manner , for [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was habitually polite and courteous , and was just now anxious to propitiate [[his]_{225-mr donne} host]_{5510-his host} , whom [he]_{225-mr donne} looked upon as [a very useful man]_{5511-a very useful man} . Whatever this sense of inferiority arose from , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was anxious to relieve [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} of it , and imagined that if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could make more display of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wealth [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} object would be obtained . Now [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} house in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{5512-his house in eccleston} was old - fashioned , and ill - calculated to exhibit money 's worth . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} mode of living , though strained to a high pitch just at this time , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} became aware was no more than [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was accustomed to every day of [his]_{225-mr donne} life . The first day at dessert , some remark ( some opportune remark , as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} innocence had thought ) was made regarding the price of pine - apples , which was rather exorbitant that year , and [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} asked [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , with quiet surprise , if [they]_5513-they had no pinery , as if to be without a pinery were indeed a depth of pitiable destitution . In fact , [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} had been born and cradled in all that wealth could purchase , and so had [[his]_{225-mr donne} ancestors]_{2672-his ancestors} before [him]_{225-mr donne} for so many generations , that refinement and luxury seemed the natural condition of [man]_661-man , and [they]_5513-they that dwelt without were in the position of monsters . The absence was noticed ; but not the presence . Now , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} knew that [the house and [grounds of Eagle 's Crag]_{5517-grounds of eagle 's crag}]_{5516-the house and grounds of eagle 's crag} were exorbitantly dear , and yet [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} really thought of purchasing them . And as one means of exhibiting [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wealth , and so raising [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} up to the level of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought that if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could take [the latter]_{1745-the latter} down to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth , and show [him]_{225-mr donne} the place for which , "_{[5319-your father]} because [[his]_2855-his little girls]_{2664-his little girls} had taken a fancy to [it]_2857-it , " [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was willing to give the fancy - price of fourteen thousand pounds , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} should at last make those half - shut dreamy eyes open wide , and [[their]_{2664-his little girls} owner]_{5519-their owner} confess that , in wealth at least , [the Eccleston manufacturer]_{5520-the eccleston manufacturer} stood on a par with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . All these mingled motives caused the determination which made [Ruth]_81-ruth sit in [the little inn - parlour]_{5521-the little inn - parlour} at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth during the wild storm 's passage . [She]_81-ruth wondered if [she]_81-ruth had fulfilled all [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's directions . [She]_81-ruth looked at the letter . Yes ! everything was done . And now [home]_4124-home with [her]_81-ruth news , through [the wet lane]_{5523-the wet lane} , where [the little pools by the roadside]_{5524-the little pools by the roadside} reflected the deep blue sky and the round white clouds with even deeper blue and clearer white ; and the rain - drops hung so thick on the trees , that even a little bird 's flight was enough to shake them down in a bright shower as of rain . When [she]_81-ruth told the news , [Mary]_118-mary exclaimed , "_[2855-his] Oh , how charming ! Then [we]_2858-we shall see [this new member]_{2859-this new member} after all ! " while [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} added , "_[209-papa] Yes ! [I]_0-i shall like to do that . But where must [we]_2858-we be ? [Papa]_209-papa will want [the dining - room]_{5320-the dining - room} and [this room]_{4221-this room} , and where must [we]_2858-we sit ? " "_[209-papa] Oh ! " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[209-papa] in [the dressing - room next to [[my]_0-i room]_{2863-my room}]_{2862-the dressing - room next to my room} . All that [[your]_0-i papa]_{5377-your papa} wants always , is that [you]_0-i are quiet and out of the way . " CHAPTER XXIII Recognition Saturday came . Torn , ragged clouds were driven across the sky . It was not a becoming day for the scenery , and [the little girls]_{2551-the little girls} regretted it much . First [they]_{2551-the little girls} hoped for a change at twelve o'clock , and then at the afternoon tide - turning . But at neither time did the sun show [his]_209-papa face . "_[209-papa] [Papa]_209-papa will never buy [this dear place]_{2865-this dear place} , " said [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , sadly , as [she]_{195-elizabeth} watched the weather . "_[209-papa] The sun is everything to it . [The sea]_{549-the sea} looks quite leaden to - day , and there is no sparkle on it . And [the sands]_{2867-the sands} , that were so yellow and sun - speckled on Thursday , are all one dull brown now . " "_[209-papa] Never mind ! to - morrow may be better , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , cheerily . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder what time [they]_{2867-the sands} will come at ? " inquired [Mary]_118-mary . "_[0-i] [[Your]_0-i papa]_{5377-your papa} said [they]_{2867-the sands} would be at [the station]_{2869-the station} at five o'clock . And [the landlady at the Swan]_{2870-the landlady at the swan} said it would take [them]_{2867-the sands} half an hour to get [here]_4172-here . " "_{[2870-the landlady at the swan]} And [they]_{2867-the sands} are to dine at six ? " asked [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . "_{[2870-the landlady at the swan]} Yes , " answered [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_{[2870-the landlady at the swan]} And [I]_0-i think if [we]_2872-we had [our]_2872-we tea half an hour earlier , at half - past four , and then went out for a walk , [we]_2872-we should be nicely out of the way just during the bustle of the arrival and dinner ; and [we]_2872-we could be in [the drawing - room]_{2873-the drawing - room} ready against [[your]_0-i papa]_{5377-your papa} came in after dinner . " "_{[5377-your papa]} Oh ! that would be nice , " said [they]_{2867-the sands} ; and tea was ordered accordingly . The south - westerly wind had dropped , and the clouds were stationary , when [they]_{2867-the sands} went out on [the sands]_{2867-the sands} . [They]_{2867-the sands} dug little holes near the in - coming tide , and made canals to [them]_{2867-the sands} from the water , and blew the light sea - foam against each other ; and then stole on tiptoe near to the groups of grey and white sea - gulls , which despised [their]_{2867-the sands} caution , flying softly and slowly away to a little distance as soon as [they]_{2867-the sands} drew near . And in all this [Ruth]_81-ruth was as great [a child as any]_{5527-a child as any} . Only [she]_81-ruth longed for [Leonard]_104-leonard with [a mother]_{1536-a mother} 's longing , as indeed [she]_81-ruth did every day , and all hours of the day . By - and - by the clouds thickened yet more , and one or two drops of rain were felt . It was very little , but [Ruth]_81-ruth feared a shower for [her]_81-ruth delicate [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , and besides , the September evening was fast closing in the dark and sunless day . As [they]_2875-they turned homewards in the rapidly increasing dusk , [they]_2875-they saw [three figures on the sand near the rocks]_{5529-three figures on the sand near the rocks} , coming in [their]_2875-they direction . "_[209-papa] [Papa]_209-papa and [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} ! " exclaimed [Mary]_118-mary . "_{[225-mr donne]} Now [we]_2875-they shall see [him]_{225-mr donne} ! " "_{[225-mr donne]} Which do [you]_2876-you make out is [him]_{225-mr donne} ? " asked [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . "_{[2877-the tall one]} Oh ! [the tall one]_{2877-the tall one} , to be sure . Do n't [you]_2876-you see how [papa]_4310-papa always turns to [him]_{225-mr donne} , as if [he]_{225-mr donne} was speaking to [him]_{225-mr donne} and not to the other ? " "_{[225-mr donne]} Who is [the other]_{380-the other} ? " asked [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} said that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} and [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} would come with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . But that is not [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , [I]_0-i am sure , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth . [The girls]_{414-the girls} looked at [each other]_{579-each other} , as [they]_{414-the girls} always did , when [Ruth]_81-ruth mentioned [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's name ; but [she]_81-ruth was perfectly unconscious both of the look and of the conjectures which gave rise to it . As soon as [the two parties]_{5532-the two parties} drew near , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} called out in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} strong voice , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} Well , [[my]_0-i dears]_{2880-my dears} ! [we]_2881-we found there was an hour before dinner , so [we]_2881-we came down upon [the sands]_{2867-the sands} , and here [you]_{2880-my dears} are . " The tone of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} voice assured [them]_{414-the girls} that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was in a bland and indulgent mood , and [the two little girls]_{5533-the two little girls} ran towards [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} kissed [them]_{5533-the two little girls} , and shook hands with [Ruth]_81-ruth ; told [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} companions]_{536-his companions} that these were [the little girls who were tempting [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} to this extravagance of [purchasing [Eagle]_229-eagle 's Crag]_{5536-purchasing eagle 's crag}]_{5535-the little girls who were tempting him to this extravagance of purchasing eagle 's crag} ; and then , rather doubtfully , and because [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} saw that [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} expected it , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} introduced "_{[2880-my dears]} [[My]_0-i daughters ' governess]_{2883-my daughters ' governess} , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . " It was growing darker every moment , and it was time [they]_{414-the girls} should hasten back to [the rocks]_{5537-the rocks} , which were even now indistinct in the grey haze . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} held a hand of [each of [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} daughters]_{5539-his daughters}]_{5538-each of his daughters} , and [Ruth]_81-ruth walked alongside , [the two strange gentlemen]_{5540-the two strange gentlemen} being on the outskirts of [the party]_{2186-the party} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} began to give [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} little girls]_{2664-his little girls} some [home]_4124-home news . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} told [them]_{2664-his little girls} that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was ill , and could not accompany [them]_{2664-his little girls} ; but [Jemima]_217-jemima and [[their]_{2664-his little girls} mamma]_{5544-their mamma} were quite well . [The gentleman nearest to [Ruth]_81-ruth]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} spoke to [her]_81-ruth . "_{[2880-my dears]} Are [you]_2884-you fond of [the sea]_{549-the sea} ? " asked [he]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} . There was no answer , so [he]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} repeated [his]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} question in a different form . "_[2884-you] Do [you]_2884-you enjoy staying by [the seaside]_{2886-the seaside} ? [I]_0-i should rather ask . " The reply was "_[0-i] Yes , " rather breathed out in a deep inspiration than spoken in a sound . [The sands]_{2867-the sands} heaved and trembled beneath [Ruth]_81-ruth . [The figures near [her]_81-ruth]_{5547-the figures near her} vanished into strange nothingness ; the sounds of [their]_{5547-the figures near her} voices were as distant sounds in a dream , while the echo of one voice thrilled through and through . [She]_81-ruth could have caught at [his]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} arm for support , in the awful dizziness which wrapped [her]_81-ruth up , body and soul . That voice ! No ! if name , and face , and figure were all changed , that voice was the same which had touched [her]_81-ruth girlish heart , which had spoken most tender words of love , which had won , and wrecked [her]_81-ruth , and which [she]_81-ruth had last heard in the low mutterings of fever . [She]_81-ruth dared not look round to see the figure of [him]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} who spoke , dark as it was . [She]_81-ruth knew [he]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} was there -- [she]_81-ruth heard [him]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} speak in the manner in which [he]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} used to address [strangers]_{5548-strangers} years ago ; perhaps [she]_81-ruth answered [him]_{5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth} , perhaps [she]_81-ruth did not -- [God]_104-leonard knew . It seemed as if weights were tied to [her]_81-ruth feet -- as if the steadfast rocks receded -- as if time stood still;--it was so long , so terrible , that path across [the reeling sand]_{5549-the reeling sand} . At the foot of [the rocks]_{5537-the rocks} [they]_5551-they separated . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , afraid lest dinner should cool , preferred the shorter way for [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} friends]_{4517-his friends} . On [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} 's account , [the girls]_{414-the girls} were to take the longer and easier path , which wound upwards through [a rocky field]_{5554-a rocky field} , where larks ' nests abounded , and where [wild thyme and heather]_{5555-wild thyme and heather} were now throwing out [their]_{5555-wild thyme and heather} sweets to the soft night air . [The little girls]_{2551-the little girls} spoke in eager discussion of [the strangers]_{5557-the strangers} . [They]_{2551-the little girls} appealed to [Ruth]_81-ruth , but [Ruth]_81-ruth did not answer , and [they]_{2551-the little girls} were too impatient to convince [each other]_{579-each other} to repeat the question . The first little ascent from the sands to the field surmounted , [Ruth]_81-ruth sat down suddenly and covered [her]_81-ruth face with [her]_81-ruth hands . This was so unusual -- [their]_{2551-the little girls} wishes , [their]_{2551-the little girls} good , was so invariably the rule of motion or of rest in [their]_{2551-the little girls} walks -- that [the girls]_{414-the girls} , suddenly checked , stood silent and affrighted in surprise . [They]_{414-the girls} were still more startled when [Ruth]_81-ruth wailed aloud some inarticulate words . "_[0-i] Are [you]_2887-you not well , [dear Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ? " asked [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , gently , kneeling down on the grass by [Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth sat facing the west . The low watery twilight was on [her]_81-ruth face as [she]_81-ruth took [her]_81-ruth hands away . So pale , so haggard , so wild and wandering a look [the girls]_{414-the girls} had never seen on human countenance before . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Well ! what are [you]_2887-you doing here with [me]_0-i ? [You]_2887-you should not be with [me]_0-i , " said [she]_81-ruth , shaking [her]_81-ruth head slowly . [They]_{414-the girls} looked at [each other]_{579-each other} . "_[2887-you] [You]_2887-you are sadly tired , " said [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , soothingly . "_[2887-you] Come [home]_4124-home , and let [me]_0-i help [you]_2887-you to bed . [I]_0-i will tell [papa]_4310-papa [you]_2887-you are ill , and ask [him]_4310-papa to send for [a doctor]_{4186-a doctor} . " [Ruth]_81-ruth looked at [her]_81-ruth as if [she]_81-ruth did not understand the meaning of [her]_81-ruth words . No more [she]_81-ruth did at first . But by - and - by the dulled brain began to think most vividly and rapidly , and [she]_81-ruth spoke in a sharp way which deceived [the girls]_{414-the girls} into a belief that nothing had been the matter . "_[4310-papa] Yes ! [I]_0-i was tired . [I]_0-i am tired . Those sands -- oh ! those sands , those weary , dreadful sands ! But that is all over now . Only [my]_0-i heart aches still . Feel how it flutters and beats , " said [she]_81-ruth , taking [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} 's hand , and holding it to [her]_81-ruth side . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am quite well , though , " [she]_81-ruth continued , reading pity in [the child]_{565-the child} 's looks , as [she]_81-ruth felt the trembling , quivering beat . "_[0-i] [We]_2891-we will go straight to [the dressing - room]_{2892-the dressing - room} , and read a chapter ; that will still [my]_0-i heart ; and then [I]_0-i 'll go to bed , and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} will excuse [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i know , this one night . [I]_0-i only ask for one night . Put on [your]_2893-you right frocks , [dears]_2894-dears , and do all [you]_2893-you ought to do . But [I]_0-i know [you]_2893-you will , " said [she]_81-ruth , bending down to kiss [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , and then , before [she]_81-ruth had done so , raising [her]_81-ruth head abruptly . "_[0-i] [You]_2893-you are good and [dear girls]_{2895-dear girls} -- [God]_104-leonard keep [you]_2893-you so ! " By a strong effort at self - command , [she]_81-ruth went onwards at an even pace , neither rushing nor pausing to sob and think . The very regularity of motion calmed [her]_81-ruth . The front and back doors of [the house]_{426-the house} were on two sides , at right angles with each other . [They]_2893-you all shrunk a little from the idea of going in at the front door , now that [the strange gentlemen]_{5565-the strange gentlemen} were about , and , accordingly , [they]_2893-you went through [the quiet farm - yard]_{5566-the quiet farm - yard} right into [the bright , ruddy kitchen]_{5567-the bright , ruddy kitchen} , where [the servants]_{2544-the servants} were dashing about with the dinner things . It was a contrast in more than colour to [the lonely , dusky field]_{5569-the lonely , dusky field} , which even [the little girls]_{2551-the little girls} perceived ; and the noise , the warmth , the very bustle of [the servants]_{2544-the servants} , were a positive relief to [Ruth]_81-ruth , and for the time lifted off the heavy press of pent - up passion . [A silent house]_{5572-a silent house} , with [moonlit rooms]_{5573-moonlit rooms} , or with a faint gloom brooding over [the apartments]_{5574-the apartments} , would have been more to be dreaded . Then , [she]_81-ruth must have given way , and cried out . As it was , [she]_81-ruth went up [the old awkward back stairs]_{5575-the old awkward back stairs} , and into [the room [they]_2893-you were to sit in]_{5576-the room they were to sit in} . There was no candle . [Mary]_118-mary volunteered to go down for one ; and when [she]_118-mary returned [she]_118-mary was full of the wonders of preparation in [the drawing - room]_{2873-the drawing - room} , and ready and eager to dress , so as to take [her]_118-mary place [there]_332-there before [the gentlemen]_{2852-the gentlemen} had finished dinner . But [she]_118-mary was struck by the strange paleness of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's face , now that the light fell upon it . "_{[104-leonard]} Stay up here , [dear Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ! [We]_2896-we 'll tell [papa]_4310-papa [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} are tired , and are gone to bed . " Another time [Ruth]_81-ruth would have dreaded [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's displeasure ; for it was an understood thing that [no one]_{517-no one} was to be ill or tired in [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} household]_{5581-his household} without leave asked , and cause given and assigned . But [she]_81-ruth never thought of that now . [Her]_81-ruth great desire was to hold quiet till [she]_81-ruth was alone . Quietness it was not -- it was rigidity ; but [she]_81-ruth succeeded in being rigid in look and movement , and went through [her]_81-ruth duties to [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} ( who preferred remaining with [her]_{195-elizabeth} [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} ) with wooden precision . But [her]_81-ruth heart felt at times like ice , at times like burning fire ; always a heavy , heavy weight within [her]_81-ruth . At last [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} went to bed . Still [Ruth]_81-ruth dared not think . [Mary]_118-mary would come [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} soon ; and with a strange , sick , shrinking yearning , [Ruth]_81-ruth awaited [her]_118-mary -- and the crumbs of intelligence [she]_81-ruth might drop out about _ [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} _ . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's sense of hearing was quickened to miserable intensity as [she]_81-ruth stood before the chimney - piece , grasping it tight with both hands -- gazing into the dying fire , but seeing -- not the dead grey embers , or the little sparks of vivid light that ran hither and thither among the wood - ashes -- but [an old farm - house]_{5584-an old farm - house} , and [climbing , winding road]_{5585-climbing , winding road} , and [a little golden breezy common]_{5586-a little golden breezy common} , with [a rural inn on [the hill - top]_{5588-the hill - top}]_{5587-a rural inn on the hill - top} , far , far away . And through the thoughts of the past came the sharp sounds of the present -- of three voices , [one of which was almost silence , it was so hushed]_{5589-one of which was almost silence , it was so hushed} . [Indifferent people]_{5590-indifferent people} would only have guessed that [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was speaking by the quietness in which [the others]_{4149-the others} listened ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth heard the voice and many of the words , though they conveyed no idea to [her]_81-ruth mind . [She]_81-ruth was too much stunned even to feel curious to know to what [they]_5592-they related . _ [He]_{225-mr donne} _ spoke . That was [her]_81-ruth one fact . Presently up came [Mary]_118-mary , bounding , exultant . [Papa]_209-papa had let [her]_118-mary stay up one quarter of an hour longer , because [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} had asked . [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} was so clever ! [She]_81-ruth did not know what to make of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , [he]_{225-mr donne} seemed such a dawdle . But [he]_{225-mr donne} was very handsome . Had [Ruth]_81-ruth seen [him]_{225-mr donne} ? Oh , no ! [She]_81-ruth could not , it was so dark on those stupid sands . Well , never mind , [she]_81-ruth would see [him]_{225-mr donne} to - morrow . [She]_81-ruth _ must _ be well to - morrow . [Papa]_209-papa seemed a good deal put out that neither [she]_81-ruth nor [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} were in [the drawing - room]_{2873-the drawing - room} to - night ; and [his]_209-papa last words were , "_[2896-we] Tell [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} [I]_0-i hope " ( and [papa]_4310-papa 's "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} hopes " always meant "_[2896-we] expect " ) "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} will be able to make breakfast at nine o'clock ; " and then [she]_81-ruth would see [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . That was all [Ruth]_81-ruth heard about [him]_{225-mr donne} . [She]_81-ruth went with [Mary]_118-mary into [[her]_118-mary bedroom]_{788-her bedroom} , helped [her]_118-mary to undress , and put the candle out . At length [she]_81-ruth was alone in [[her]_81-ruth own room]_{2447-her own room} ! At length ! But the tension did not give way immediately . [She]_81-ruth fastened [her]_81-ruth door , and threw open the window , cold and threatening as was the night . [She]_81-ruth tore off [her]_81-ruth gown ; [she]_81-ruth put [her]_81-ruth hair back from [her]_81-ruth heated face . It seemed now as if [she]_81-ruth could not think -- as if thought and emotion had been repressed so sternly that they would not come to relieve [her]_81-ruth stupified brain . Till all at once , like a flash of lightning , [her]_81-ruth life , past and present , was revealed to [her]_81-ruth in its minutest detail . And when [she]_81-ruth saw [her]_81-ruth very present "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Now , " the strange confusion of agony was too great to be borne , and [she]_81-ruth cried aloud . Then [she]_81-ruth was quite dead , and listened as to the sound of [galloping armies]_{5597-galloping armies} . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} If [I]_0-i might see [him]_2898-him ! If [I]_0-i might see [him]_2898-him ! If [I]_0-i might just ask [him]_2898-him why [he]_2898-him left [me]_0-i ; if [I]_0-i had vexed [him]_2898-him in any way ; it was so strange -- so cruel ! It was not [him]_2898-him ; it was [[his]_2898-him mother]_{655-his mother} , " said [she]_{655-his mother} , almost fiercely , as if answering [herself]_{655-his mother} . "_{[655-his mother]} Oh , [God]_104-leonard ! but [he]_2898-him might have found [me]_0-i out before this , " [she]_{655-his mother} continued , sadly . "_[2898-him] [He]_2898-him did not care for [me]_0-i , as [I]_0-i did for [him]_2898-him . [He]_2898-him did not care for [me]_0-i at all , " [she]_{655-his mother} went on wildly and sharply . "_[2898-him] [He]_2898-him did [me]_0-i cruel harm . [I]_0-i can never again lift up [my]_0-i face in innocence . [They]_2900-they think [I]_0-i have forgotten all , because [I]_0-i do not speak . Oh , darling love ! am [I]_0-i talking against [you]_2901-you ? " asked [she]_{655-his mother} , tenderly . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am so torn and perplexed ! [You]_2901-you , who are [the father of [[my]_0-i child]_{5259-my child}]_{2902-the father of my child} ! " But that very circumstance , full of such tender meaning in many cases , threw a new light into [her]_{655-his mother} mind . It changed [her]_{655-his mother} from [the woman]_{5598-the woman} into [the mother]_{618-the mother} -- [the stern guardian of [[her]_{618-the mother} child]_{631-her child}]_{5600-the stern guardian of her child} . [She]_{655-his mother} was still for a time , thinking . Then [she]_{655-his mother} began again , but in a low , deep voice , "_[2904-he] [He]_2904-he left [me]_0-i . [He]_2904-he might have been hurried off , but [he]_2904-he might have inquired -- [he]_2904-he might have learnt , and explained . [He]_2904-he left [me]_0-i to bear the burden and the shame ; and never cared to learn , as [he]_2904-he might have done , of [Leonard]_104-leonard 's birth . [He]_2904-he has no love for [[his]_2904-he child]_{4766-his child} , and [I]_0-i will have no love for [him]_104-leonard . " [She]_{655-his mother} raised [her]_{655-his mother} voice while uttering this determination , and then , feeling [her]_{655-his mother} own weakness , [she]_{655-his mother} moaned out , "_[2904-he] Alas ! alas ! " And then [she]_{655-his mother} started up , for all this time [she]_{655-his mother} had been rocking [herself]_{655-his mother} backwards and forwards as [she]_{655-his mother} sat on the ground , and began to pace [the room]_{357-the room} with hurried steps . "_[2904-he] What am [I]_0-i thinking of ? Where am [I]_0-i ? [I]_0-i who have been praying these years and years to be worthy to be [[Leonard]_104-leonard 's mother]_{5273-leonard 's mother} . [[My]_0-i God]_{867-my god} ! what a depth of sin is in [my]_0-i heart ! Why , the old time would be as white as snow to what it would be now , if [I]_0-i sought [him]_104-leonard out , and prayed for the explanation , which should re - establish [him]_104-leonard in [my]_0-i heart . [I]_0-i who have striven ( or made a mock of trying ) to learn [God]_104-leonard 's holy will , in order to bring up [Leonard]_104-leonard into the full strength of [a Christian]_{1585-a christian} -- [I]_0-i who have taught [his]_104-leonard sweet innocent lips to pray , ' Lead [us]_2909-us not into temptation , but deliver [us]_2909-us from evil ; ' and yet , somehow , [I]_0-i 've been longing to give [him]_104-leonard to [[his]_104-leonard father]_{658-his father} , who is -- who is-- " [she]_5603-her almost choked , till at last [she]_5603-her cried sharp out , "_{[867-my god]} Oh , [[my]_0-i God]_{867-my god} ! [I]_0-i do believe [[Leonard]_104-leonard 's father]_{2912-leonard 's father} is [a bad man]_{2913-a bad man} , and yet , oh ! pitiful [God]_104-leonard , [I]_0-i love [him]_104-leonard ; [I]_0-i can not forget -- [I]_0-i can not ! " [She]_5603-her threw [her]_5603-her body half out of the window into the cold night air . The wind was rising , and came in great gusts . The rain beat down on [her]_5603-her . It did [her]_5603-her good . A still , calm night would not have soothed [her]_5603-her as this did . The wild tattered clouds , hurrying past the moon , gave [her]_5603-her a foolish kind of pleasure that almost made [her]_5603-her smile a vacant smile . The blast - driven rain came on [her]_5603-her again , and drenched [her]_5603-her hair through and through . The words "_[0-i] stormy wind fulfilling [His]_104-leonard word " came into [her]_5603-her mind . [She]_5603-her sat down on the floor . This time [her]_5603-her hands were clasped round [her]_5603-her knees . The uneasy rocking motion was stilled . "_{[104-leonard]} [I]_0-i wonder if [[my]_0-i darling]_{4347-my darling} is frightened with this blustering , noisy wind . [I]_0-i wonder if [he]_104-leonard is awake . " And then [her]_5603-her thoughts went back to the various times of old , when , affrighted by the weather -- sounds so mysterious in the night -- [he]_104-leonard had crept into [her]_5603-her bed and clung to [her]_5603-her , and [she]_5603-her had soothed [him]_104-leonard , and sweetly awed [him]_104-leonard into stillness and childlike faith , by telling [him]_104-leonard of the goodness and power of [God]_104-leonard . Of a sudden [she]_5603-her crept to a chair , and there knelt as in the very presence of [God]_104-leonard , hiding [her]_5603-her face , at first not speaking a word ( for did [He]_104-leonard not know [her]_5603-her heart ) , but by - and - by moaning out , amid [her]_5603-her sobs and tears ( and now for the first time [she]_5603-her wept ) , "_[0-i] Oh , [[my]_0-i God]_{867-my god} , help [me]_0-i , for [I]_0-i am very weak . [[My]_0-i God]_{867-my god} ! [I]_0-i pray [Thee]_2917-thee be [my]_0-i rock and [[my]_0-i strong fortress]_{2918-my strong fortress} , for [I]_0-i of [myself]_0-i am nothing . If [I]_0-i ask in [His]_{867-my god} name , [Thou]_2917-thee wilt give it [me]_0-i . In the name of [Jesus Christ]_181-christ [I]_0-i pray for strength to do [Thy]_2919-thy will ! " [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} could not think , or , indeed , remember anything but that [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} was weak , and [God]_104-leonard was strong , and "_[0-i] a very present help in time of trouble ; " and the wind rose yet higher , and [the house]_{426-the house} shook and vibrated as , in measured time , the great and terrible gusts came from the four quarters of the heavens and blew around it , dying away in the distance with loud and unearthly wails , which were not utterly still before the sound of the coming blast was heard like the trumpets of the vanguard of [the Prince of Air]_{5605-the prince of air} . There was a knock at the bedroom door -- a little , gentle knock , and [a soft child]_{5606-a soft child} 's voice . "_[0-i] [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , may [I]_0-i come in , please ? [I]_0-i am so frightened ! " It was [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} . [Ruth]_81-ruth calmed [her]_81-ruth passionate breathing by one hasty draught of water , and opened the door to [the timid girl]_{5607-the timid girl} . "_[0-i] Oh , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ! did [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} ever hear such a night ? [I]_0-i am so frightened ! and [Mary]_118-mary sleeps so sound . " [Ruth]_81-ruth was too much shaken to be able to speak all at once ; but [she]_81-ruth took [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} in [her]_81-ruth arms to reassure [her]_{195-elizabeth} . [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} stood back . "_[118-mary] Why , how wet [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} are , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ! and there 's the window open , [I]_0-i do believe ! Oh , how cold it is ! " said [she]_{195-elizabeth} , shivering . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Get into [my]_0-i bed , [dear]_4155-dear ! " said [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} But do come too ! The candle gives such a strange light with that long wick , and , somehow , [your]_4155-dear face does not look like [you]_4155-dear . Please , put the candle out , and come to bed . [I]_0-i am so frightened , and it seems as if [I]_0-i should be safer if [you]_4155-dear were by [me]_0-i . " [Ruth]_81-ruth shut the window , and went to bed . [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} was all shivering and quaking . To soothe [her]_{195-elizabeth} , [Ruth]_81-ruth made a great effort ; and spoke of [Leonard]_104-leonard and [his]_104-leonard fears , and , in a low hesitating voice , [she]_81-ruth spoke of [God]_104-leonard 's tender mercy , but very humbly , for [she]_81-ruth feared lest [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} should think [her]_{195-elizabeth} better and holier than [she]_{195-elizabeth} was . [The little girl]_{5608-the little girl} was soon asleep , [her]_{5608-the little girl} fears forgotten ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth , worn out by passionate emotion , and obliged to be still for fear of awaking [her]_81-ruth bedfellow , went off into a short slumber , through the depths of which the echoes of [her]_81-ruth waking sobs quivered up . When [she]_81-ruth awoke the grey light of autumnal dawn was in [the room]_{357-the room} . [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} slept on ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth heard [the servants]_{2544-the servants} about , and the early farmyard sounds . After [she]_81-ruth had recovered from the shock of consciousness and recollection , [she]_81-ruth collected [her]_81-ruth thoughts with a stern calmness . [He]_5611-he was [here]_4172-here . In a few hours [she]_81-ruth must meet [him]_5611-he . There was no escape , except through subterfuges and contrivances that were both false and cowardly . How it would all turn out [she]_81-ruth could not say , or even guess . But of one thing [she]_81-ruth was clear , and to one thing [she]_81-ruth would hold fast : that was , that , come what might , [she]_81-ruth would obey [God]_104-leonard 's law , and , be the end of all what it might , [she]_81-ruth would say , "_[2921-thy] [Thy]_2921-thy will be done ! " [She]_81-ruth only asked for strength enough to do this when the time came . How the time would come -- what speech or action would be requisite on [her]_81-ruth part , [she]_81-ruth did not know -- [she]_81-ruth did not even try to conjecture . [She]_81-ruth left that in [His]_5611-he hands . [She]_81-ruth was icy cold , but very calm , when the breakfast - bell rang . [She]_81-ruth went down immediately ; because [she]_81-ruth felt that there was less chance of a recognition if [she]_81-ruth were already at [[her]_81-ruth place beside the tea - urn]_{5613-her place beside the tea - urn} , and busied with the cups , than if [she]_81-ruth came in after all were settled . [Her]_81-ruth heart seemed to stand still , but [she]_81-ruth felt almost a strange exultant sense of power over [herself]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth felt , rather than saw , that [he]_5611-he was not [there]_332-there . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} were , and so busy talking election - politics that [they]_5615-they did not interrupt [their]_5615-they conversation even when [they]_5615-they bowed to [her]_81-ruth . [[Her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} sat one on each side of [her]_81-ruth . Before [they]_{2406-her pupils} were quite settled , and while [the other two gentlemen]_{5617-the other two gentlemen} yet hung over the fire , [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} came in . [Ruth]_81-ruth felt as if that moment was like death . [She]_81-ruth had a kind of desire to make some sharp sound , to relieve a choking sensation , but it was over in an instant , and [she]_81-ruth sat on very composed and silent -- to all outward appearance [the very model of [a governess who knew [her]_81-ruth place]_{5619-a governess who knew her place}]_{5618-the very model of a governess who knew her place} . And by - and - by [she]_81-ruth felt strangely at ease in [her]_81-ruth sense of power . [She]_81-ruth could even listen to what was being said . [She]_81-ruth had never dared as yet to look at [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , though [her]_81-ruth heart burnt to see [him]_{225-mr donne} once again . [He]_{225-mr donne} sounded changed . The voice had lost its fresh and youthful eagerness of tone , though in peculiarity of modulation it was the same . It could never be mistaken for the voice of [another person]_{4241-another person} . There was a good deal said at that breakfast , for [none]_468-none seemed inclined to hurry , although it was Sunday morning . [Ruth]_81-ruth was compelled to sit there , and it was good for [her]_81-ruth that [she]_81-ruth did . That half - hour seemed to separate [the present Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} very effectively from [her]_81-ruth imagination of what [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} had been . [She]_81-ruth was [no analyser]_{5622-no analyser} ; [she]_81-ruth hardly even had learnt to notice character ; but [she]_81-ruth felt there was some strange difference between [the people [she]_81-ruth had lived with lately]_{5623-the people she had lived with lately} and [the man who now leant back in [his]_{225-mr donne} chair , listening in a careless manner to the conversation , but never joining in , or expressing any interest in it , unless it somewhere , or somehow , touched [himself]_{225-mr donne}]_{5624-the man who now leant back in his chair , listening in a careless manner to the conversation , but never joining in , or expressing any interest in it , unless it somewhere , or somehow , touched himself} . Now , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} always threw [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} into a subject ; it might be in a pompous , dogmatic sort of way , but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did do it , whether it related to [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} or not ; and it was part of [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} 's trade to assume an interest if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} felt it not . But [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} did neither [the one nor the other]_{5625-the one nor the other} . When [the other two]_{5626-the other two} were talking of many of the topics of the day , [he]_{225-mr donne} put [his]_{225-mr donne} glass in [his]_{225-mr donne} eye , the better to examine into the exact nature of a cold game - pie at the other side of the table . Suddenly [Ruth]_81-ruth felt that [his]_{225-mr donne} attention was caught by [her]_81-ruth . Until now , seeing [his]_{225-mr donne} short - sightedness , [she]_81-ruth had believed [herself]_81-ruth safe ; now [her]_81-ruth face flushed with a painful , miserable blush . But in an instant [she]_81-ruth was strong and quiet . [She]_81-ruth looked up straight at [his]_{225-mr donne} face ; and , as if this action took [him]_{225-mr donne} aback , [he]_{225-mr donne} dropped [his]_{225-mr donne} glass , and began eating away with great diligence . [She]_81-ruth had seen [him]_{225-mr donne} . [He]_{225-mr donne} was changed , [she]_81-ruth knew not how . In fact , the expression , which had been only occasional formerly , when [his]_{225-mr donne} worse self predominated , had become permanent . [He]_{225-mr donne} looked restless and dissatisfied . But [he]_{225-mr donne} was very handsome still ; and [her]_81-ruth quick eye had recognised , with a sort of strange pride , that the eyes and mouth were like [Leonard]_104-leonard 's . Although perplexed by the straightforward , brave look [she]_81-ruth had sent right at [him]_{225-mr donne} , [he]_{225-mr donne} was not entirely baffled . [He]_{225-mr donne} thought this [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} was certainly like [poor Ruth]_81-ruth ; but [this woman]_{5627-this woman} was far handsomer . [Her]_{5627-this woman} face was positively [Greek]_231-greek ; and then such a proud , superb turn of [her]_{5627-this woman} head ; quite queenly ! [A governess in [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's family]_{2196-mr bradshaw 's family}]_{2253-a governess in mr bradshaw 's family} ! Why , [she]_{5627-this woman} might be [a Percy]_{5630-a percy} or [a Howard]_{5631-a howard} for the grandeur of [her]_{5627-this woman} grace ! [Poor Ruth]_81-ruth ! [This woman]_{5627-this woman} 's hair was darker , though ; and [she]_{5627-this woman} had less colour ; altogether [a more refined - looking person]_{5633-a more refined - looking person} . [Poor Ruth]_81-ruth ! and , for the first time for several years , [he]_{225-mr donne} wondered what had become of [her]_{5627-this woman} ; though , of course , there was but one thing that could have happened , and perhaps it was as well [he]_{225-mr donne} did not know [her]_{5627-this woman} end , for most likely it would have made [him]_{225-mr donne} very uncomfortable . [He]_{225-mr donne} leant back in [his]_{225-mr donne} chair , and , unobserved ( for [he]_{225-mr donne} would not have thought it gentlemanly to look so fixedly at [her]_{5627-this woman} if [she]_{5627-this woman} or [any one]_{425-any one} noticed [him]_{225-mr donne} ) , [he]_{225-mr donne} put up [his]_{225-mr donne} glass again . [She]_{5627-this woman} was speaking to one of [[her]_{5627-this woman} pupils]_{2406-her pupils} , and did not see [him]_{225-mr donne} . By [Jove]_232-jove ! it must be [she]_{5627-this woman} , though ! There were little dimples came out about the mouth as [she]_{5627-this woman} spoke , just like those [he]_{225-mr donne} used to admire so much in [Ruth]_81-ruth , and which [he]_{225-mr donne} had never seen in [any one else]_{4234-any one else} -- the sunshine without the positive movement of a smile . The longer [he]_{225-mr donne} looked the more [he]_{225-mr donne} was convinced ; and it was with a jerk that [he]_{225-mr donne} recovered [himself]_{225-mr donne} enough to answer [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's question , whether [he]_{225-mr donne} wished to go to [church]_4207-church or not . "_[2921-thy] [Church]_4207-church ? how far -- a mile ? No ; [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i shall perform [my]_0-i devotions at [home]_4124-home to - day . " [He]_{225-mr donne} absolutely felt jealous when [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} sprang up to open the door as [Ruth]_81-ruth and [[her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} left [the room]_{357-the room} . [He]_{225-mr donne} was pleased to feel jealous again . [He]_{225-mr donne} had been really afraid [he]_{225-mr donne} was too much "_[0-i] used - up " for such sensations . But [Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} must keep [his]_{228-mr hickson} place . What [he]_{228-mr hickson} was paid for was doing the talking to [the electors]_{2744-the electors} , not paying attention to [the ladies in [[their]_{2744-the electors} families]_{5642-their families}]_{5641-the ladies in their families} . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} had noticed that [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} had tried to be gallant to [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} ; let [him]_{228-mr hickson} , if [he]_{228-mr hickson} liked ; but let [him]_{228-mr hickson} beware how [he]_{228-mr hickson} behaved to [this fair creature]_{5643-this fair creature} , [Ruth]_81-ruth or no [Ruth]_81-ruth . It certainly was [Ruth]_81-ruth ; only how the devil had [she]_81-ruth played [her]_81-ruth cards so well as to be [the governess]_{5644-the governess} -- [the respected governess]_{5645-the respected governess} , in such a family as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's ? [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's movements were evidently to be the guide of [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} 's . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} always disliked going to [church]_4207-church , partly from principle , partly because [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} never could find the places in the Prayer - book . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was in [the drawing - room]_{2873-the drawing - room} as [Mary]_118-mary came down ready equipped ; [he]_{225-mr donne} was turning over the leaves of the large and handsome Bible . Seeing [Mary]_118-mary , [he]_{225-mr donne} was struck with a new idea . "_[0-i] How singular it is , " said [he]_{225-mr donne} , "_[0-i] that the name of [Ruth]_81-ruth is so seldom chosen by [those good people who go to the Bible]_{2924-those good people who go to the bible} before [they]_{2924-those good people who go to the bible} christen [[their]_{2924-those good people who go to the bible} children]_{1803-their children} . It is a pretty name , [I]_0-i think . " [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} looked up . "_[0-i] Why , [Mary]_118-mary ! " said [he]_{225-mr donne} , "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} is not that [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's name ? " "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Yes , [papa]_4310-papa , " replied [Mary]_118-mary , eagerly ; "_[4310-papa] and [I]_0-i know [two other Ruths]_{2927-two other ruths} ; there 's [Ruth Brown]_{233-ruth brown} [here]_4172-here , and [Ruth Macartney]_81-ruth at [Eccleston]_36-eccleston . " "_[81-ruth] And [I]_0-i have [an aunt called [Ruth]_81-ruth]_{2929-an aunt called ruth} , [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} ! [I]_0-i do n't think [your]_{225-mr donne} observation holds good . Besides [[my]_0-i daughters ' governess]_{2883-my daughters ' governess} , [I]_0-i know [three other Ruths]_{2931-three other ruths} . " "_{[2931-three other ruths]} Oh ! [I]_0-i have no doubt [I]_0-i was wrong . It was just a speech of which one perceives the folly the moment it is made . " But , secretly , [he]_{225-mr donne} rejoiced with a fierce joy over the success of [his]_{225-mr donne} device . [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} came to summon [Mary]_118-mary . [Ruth]_81-ruth was glad when [she]_81-ruth got into the open air , and away from [the house]_{426-the house} . Two hours were gone and over . Two out of a day , a day and a half -- for it might be late on Monday morning before [the Eccleston party]_{5649-the eccleston party} returned . [She]_81-ruth felt weak and trembling in body , but strong in power over [herself]_81-ruth . [They]_5650-they had left [the house]_{426-the house} in good time for [church]_4207-church , so [they]_5650-they needed not to hurry ; and [they]_5650-they went leisurely along [the road]_{4274-the road} , now and then passing [some country person whom [they]_5650-they knew]_{5654-some country person whom they knew} , and with whom [they]_5650-they exchanged a kindly , placid greeting . But presently , to [Ruth]_81-ruth 's dismay , [she]_81-ruth heard [a step behind , coming at a rapid pace]_{5655-a step behind , coming at a rapid pace} , a peculiar clank of rather high - heeled boots , which gave a springy sound to the walk , that [she]_81-ruth had known well long ago . It was like a nightmare , where the Evil dreaded is never avoided , never completely shunned , but is by [one]_321-one 's side at the very moment of triumph in escape . There [he]_0-i was by [her]_81-ruth side ; and there was a quarter of a mile intervening between [her]_81-ruth and [the church]_{5657-the church} ; but even yet [she]_81-ruth trusted that [he]_0-i had not recognised [her]_81-ruth . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have changed [my]_0-i mind , [you]_2932-you see , " said [he]_0-i , quietly . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have some curiosity to see the architecture of [the church]_{5657-the church} ; [some of [these old country churches]_{2935-these old country churches}]_{2934-some of these old country churches} have singular bits about them . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} kindly directed [me]_0-i part of the way , but [I]_0-i was so much puzzled by ' turns to the right , ' and ' turns to the left , ' that [I]_0-i was quite glad to espy [your]_2932-you party . " That speech required no positive answer of any kind ; and no answer did it receive . [He]_0-i had not expected a reply . [He]_0-i knew , if [she]_81-ruth were [Ruth]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth could not answer any indifferent words of [his]_0-i ; and [her]_81-ruth silence made [him]_0-i more certain of [her]_81-ruth identity with [the lady]_{470-the lady} by [his]_0-i side . "_[0-i] The scenery here is of a kind new to [me]_0-i ; neither grand , wild , nor yet marked by high cultivation ; and yet it has great charms . [It]_2936-it reminds [me]_0-i of [some parts of [Wales]_22-wales]_{2937-some parts of wales} . " [He]_0-i breathed deeply , and then added , "_[2932-you] [You]_2932-you have been in [Wales]_22-wales , [I]_0-i believe ? " [He]_0-i spoke low ; almost in a whisper . [The little church - bell]_{5659-the little church - bell} began to call [the lagging people]_{5660-the lagging people} with its quick , sharp summons . [Ruth]_81-ruth writhed in body and spirit , but struggled on . [The church]_{5657-the church} - door would be gained at last ; and in [that holy place]_{5662-that holy place} [she]_81-ruth would find peace . [He]_0-i repeated in a louder tone , so as to compel an answer in order to conceal [her]_81-ruth agitation from [the girls]_{414-the girls} : "_[2932-you] Have [you]_2932-you never been in [Wales]_22-wales ? " [He]_0-i used "_[2932-you] never " instead of "_[2932-you] ever , " and laid the emphasis on that word , in order to mark [his]_0-i meaning to [Ruth]_81-ruth , and [Ruth]_81-ruth only . But [he]_0-i drove [her]_81-ruth to bay . "_[2932-you] [I]_0-i have been in [Wales]_22-wales , [sir]_4181-sir , " [she]_81-ruth replied , in a calm , grave tone . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was [there]_332-there many years ago . Events took place [there]_332-there , which contribute to make the recollection of that time most miserable to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i shall be obliged to [you]_4181-sir , [sir]_4181-sir , if [you]_4181-sir will make no further reference to it . " [The little girls]_{2551-the little girls} wondered how [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} could speak in such a tone of quiet authority to [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , who was almost [a member of Parliament]_{5665-a member of parliament} . But [they]_{2551-the little girls} settled that [[her]_81-ruth husband]_{730-her husband} must have died in [Wales]_22-wales , and , of course , that would make the recollection of [the country]_{514-the country} "_[0-i] most miserable , " as [she]_81-ruth said . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} did not dislike the answer , and [he]_{225-mr donne} positively admired the dignity with which [she]_81-ruth spoke . [His]_{225-mr donne} leaving [her]_81-ruth as [he]_{225-mr donne} did must have made [her]_81-ruth very miserable ; and [he]_{225-mr donne} liked the pride that made [her]_81-ruth retain [her]_81-ruth indignation , until [he]_{225-mr donne} could speak to [her]_81-ruth in private , and explain away a good deal of what [she]_81-ruth might complain of with some justice . [The church]_{5657-the church} was reached . [They]_{2551-the little girls} all went up [the middle aisle]_{5669-the middle aisle} into [the [Eagle]_229-eagle 's Crag pew]_{5670-the eagle 's crag pew} . [He]_{225-mr donne} followed [them]_{2551-the little girls} in , entered [himself]_{225-mr donne} , and shut the door . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart sank as [she]_81-ruth saw [him]_{225-mr donne} there ; just opposite to [her]_81-ruth ; coming between [her]_81-ruth and [the clergyman who was to read out the Word of [God]_104-leonard]_{5671-the clergyman who was to read out the word of god} . It was merciless -- it was cruel to haunt [her]_81-ruth [there]_332-there . [She]_81-ruth durst not lift [her]_81-ruth eyes to the bright eastern light -- [she]_81-ruth could not see how peacefully the marble images of the dead lay on [[their]_{2551-the little girls} tombs]_{5673-their tombs} , for [he]_{225-mr donne} was between [her]_81-ruth and all Light and Peace . [She]_81-ruth knew that [his]_{225-mr donne} look was on [her]_81-ruth ; that [he]_{225-mr donne} never turned [his]_{225-mr donne} glance away . [She]_81-ruth could not join in the prayer for the remission of sins while [he]_{225-mr donne} was there , for [his]_{225-mr donne} very presence seemed as a sign that [their]_{2551-the little girls} stain would never be washed out of [her]_81-ruth life . But , although goaded and chafed by [her]_81-ruth thoughts and recollections , [she]_81-ruth kept very still . No sign of emotion , no flush of colour was on [her]_81-ruth face as [he]_{225-mr donne} looked at [her]_81-ruth . [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} could not find [her]_{195-elizabeth} place , and then [Ruth]_81-ruth breathed once , long and deeply , as [she]_81-ruth moved up the pew , and out of the straight , burning glance of those eyes of evil meaning . When [they]_{2551-the little girls} sat down for the reading of the first lesson , [Ruth]_81-ruth turned the corner of the seat so as no longer to be opposite to [him]_{225-mr donne} . [She]_81-ruth could not listen . The words seemed to be uttered in [some world far away]_{5674-some world far away} , from which [she]_81-ruth was exiled and cast out ; their sound , and yet more their meaning , was dim and distant . But in this extreme tension of mind to hold in [her]_81-ruth bewildered agony , it so happened that one of [her]_81-ruth senses was preternaturally acute . While all [the church]_{5657-the church} and [the people]_{460-the people} swam in misty haze , one point in a dark corner grew clearer and clearer till [she]_81-ruth saw ( what at another time [she]_81-ruth could not have discerned at all ) a face -- a gargoyle [I]_0-i think [they]_{2551-the little girls} call it -- at the end of the arch next to the narrowing of [the nave]_{5677-the nave} into [the chancel]_{5678-the chancel} , and in the shadow of that contraction . The face was beautiful in feature ( the next to it was a grinning monkey ) , but it was not the features that were the most striking part . There was a half - open mouth , not in any way distorted out of its exquisite beauty by the intense expression of suffering it conveyed . Any distortion of the face by mental agony implies that a struggle with circumstance is going on . But in this face , if such struggle had been , it was over now . Circumstance had conquered ; and there was no hope from mortal endeavour , or help from [mortal creature]_{5679-mortal creature} to be had . But the eyes looked onward and upward to the "_[0-i] Hills from whence cometh [our]_2942-they help . " And though the parted lips seemed ready to quiver with agony , yet the expression of the whole face , owing to these strange , stony , and yet spiritual eyes , was high and consoling . If mortal gaze had never sought its meaning before , in the deep shadow where it had been placed long centuries ago , yet [Ruth]_81-ruth 's did now . Who could have imagined such a look ? [Who could have witnessed -- perhaps felt -- such infinite sorrow]_{5680-who could have witnessed -- perhaps felt -- such infinite sorrow} , and yet dared to lift it up by Faith into a peace so pure ? Or was it a mere conception ? If so , what [a soul the unknown carver]_{5681-a soul the unknown carver} must have had ! for [creator]_5682-creator and [handicraftsman]_{5683-handicraftsman} must have been [one]_321-one ; [no two minds]_{5685-no two minds} could have been in such perfect harmony . Whatever it was -- however it came there -- [imaginer]_{5686-imaginer} , [carver]_5687-carver , [sufferer]_{5688-sufferer} , all were long passed away . Human art was ended -- human life done -- human suffering over ; but this remained ; it stilled [Ruth]_81-ruth 's beating heart to look on it . [She]_81-ruth grew still enough to hear words which have come to many in [their]_{2551-the little girls} time of need , and awed [them]_{2551-the little girls} in the presence of the extremest suffering that [the hushed world]_{5689-the hushed world} has ever heard of . The second lesson for the morning of the 25th of September is the 26th chapter of [St Matthew]_167-matthew 's Gospel . And when [they]_2942-they prayed again , [Ruth]_81-ruth 's tongue was unloosed , and [she]_81-ruth also could pray , in [His]_0-i name , who underwent the agony in [the garden]_{783-the garden} . As [they]_2942-they came out of [church]_4207-church , there was a little pause and gathering at the door . It had begun to rain ; [those who had umbrellas]_{5692-those who had umbrellas} were putting them up ; [those who had not were]_{5693-those who had not were} regretting , and wondering how long it would last . Standing for a moment , impeded by [the people who were thus collected under the porch]_{5694-the people who were thus collected under the porch} , [Ruth]_81-ruth heard a voice close to [her]_81-ruth say , very low , but very distinctly , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have much to say to [you]_2943-you -- much to explain . [I]_0-i entreat [you]_2943-you to give [me]_0-i the opportunity . " [Ruth]_81-ruth did not reply . [She]_81-ruth would not acknowledge that [she]_81-ruth heard ; but [she]_81-ruth trembled nevertheless , for the well - remembered voice was low and soft , and had yet its power to thrill . [She]_81-ruth earnestly desired to know why and how [he]_0-i had left [her]_81-ruth . It appeared to [her]_81-ruth as if that knowledge could alone give [her]_81-ruth a relief from the restless wondering that distracted [her]_81-ruth mind , and that one explanation could do no harm . "_[0-i] _ No ! _ " [the higher spirit]_{5695-the higher spirit} made answer ; "_[0-i] _ it must not be . _ " [Ruth]_81-ruth and [the girls]_{414-the girls} had each an umbrella . [She]_81-ruth turned to [Mary]_118-mary , and said , "_[118-mary] [Mary]_118-mary , give [your]_118-mary umbrella to [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , and come under [mine]_118-mary . " [Her]_81-ruth way of speaking was short and decided ; [she]_81-ruth was compressing [her]_81-ruth meaning into as few words as possible . [The little girl]_{5608-the little girl} obeyed in silence . As [they]_{414-the girls} went first through [the churchyard stile]_{5698-the churchyard stile} , [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} spoke again . "_[118-mary] [You]_118-mary are unforgiving , " said [he]_{225-mr donne} . "_[118-mary] [I]_0-i only ask [you]_118-mary to hear [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i have a right to be heard , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [I]_0-i wo n't believe [you]_118-mary are so much changed , as not to listen to [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i entreat . " [He]_{225-mr donne} spoke in a tone of soft complaint . But [he]_{225-mr donne} [himself]_{225-mr donne} had done much to destroy the illusion which had hung about [his]_{225-mr donne} memory for years , whenever [Ruth]_81-ruth had allowed [herself]_81-ruth to think of it . Besides which , during the time of [her]_81-ruth residence in [the Benson family]_{5699-the benson family} , [her]_81-ruth feeling of what [people]_322-people ought to be had been unconsciously raised and refined ; and [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , even while [she]_81-ruth had to struggle against the force of past recollections , repelled [her]_81-ruth so much by what [he]_{225-mr donne} was at present , that every speech of [his]_{225-mr donne} , every minute [they]_5701-they were together , served to make [her]_81-ruth path more and more easy to follow . [His]_{225-mr donne} voice retained something of its former influence . When [he]_{225-mr donne} spoke , without [her]_81-ruth seeing [him]_{225-mr donne} , [she]_81-ruth could not help remembering former days . [She]_81-ruth did not answer this last speech any more than the first . [She]_81-ruth saw clearly , that , putting aside all thought as to the character of [their]_5701-they former relationship , it had been dissolved by [his]_{225-mr donne} will -- [his]_{225-mr donne} act and deed ; and that , therefore , the power to refuse any further intercourse whatsoever remained with [her]_81-ruth . It sometimes seems a little strange how , after having earnestly prayed to be delivered from temptation , and having given [ourselves]_{5702-ourselves} with shut eyes into [God]_104-leonard 's hand , from that time every thought , every outward influence , every acknowledged law of life , seems to lead [us]_{5702-ourselves} on from strength to strength . It seems strange sometimes , because [we]_{5702-ourselves} notice the coincidence ; but it is the natural , unavoidable consequence of all truth and goodness being one and the same , and therefore carried out in every circumstance , external and internal , of [God]_104-leonard 's creation . When [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} saw that [Ruth]_81-ruth would not answer [him]_{225-mr donne} , [he]_{225-mr donne} became only the more determined that [she]_81-ruth should hear what [he]_{225-mr donne} had to say . What that was [he]_{225-mr donne} did not exactly know . The whole affair was most mysterious and piquant . The umbrella protected [Ruth]_81-ruth from more than the rain on that walk homewards , for under its shelter [she]_81-ruth could not be spoken to unheard . [She]_81-ruth had not rightly understood at what time [she]_81-ruth and [the girls]_{414-the girls} were to dine . From the gathering at meal - times [she]_81-ruth must not shrink . [She]_81-ruth must show no sign of weakness . But , oh ! the relief , after that walk , to sit in [[her]_81-ruth own room]_{2447-her own room} , locked up , so that neither [Mary]_118-mary nor [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} could come by surprise , and to let [her]_81-ruth weary frame ( weary with being so long braced up to rigidity and stiff quiet ) fall into a chair anyhow -- all helpless , nerveless , motionless , as if the very bones had melted out of [her]_81-ruth ! The peaceful rest which [her]_81-ruth mind took was in thinking of [Leonard]_104-leonard . [She]_81-ruth dared not look before or behind , but [she]_81-ruth could see [him]_104-leonard well at present . [She]_81-ruth brooded over the thought of [him]_104-leonard , till [she]_81-ruth dreaded [[his]_104-leonard father]_{658-his father} more and more . By the light of [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's purity and innocence , [she]_81-ruth saw evil clearly , and yet more clearly . [She]_81-ruth thought that , if [Leonard]_104-leonard ever came to know the nature of [his]_104-leonard birth , [she]_81-ruth had nothing for it but to die out of [his]_104-leonard sight . [He]_104-leonard could never know -- human heart could never know , [her]_81-ruth ignorant innocence , and all the small circumstances which had impelled [her]_81-ruth onwards . But [God]_104-leonard knew . And if [Leonard]_104-leonard heard of [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} 's error , why , nothing remained but death ; for [she]_81-ruth felt , then , as if [she]_81-ruth had it in [her]_81-ruth power to die innocently out of such future agony ; but that escape is not so easy . Suddenly a fresh thought came , and [she]_81-ruth prayed that , through whatever suffering , [she]_81-ruth might be purified . Whatever trials , woes , measureless pangs , [God]_104-leonard might see fit to chastise [her]_81-ruth with , [she]_81-ruth would not shrink , if only at last [she]_81-ruth might come into [His]_104-leonard presence in [Heaven]_56-heaven . Alas ! the shrinking from suffering [we]_5708-we can not help . That part of [her]_81-ruth prayer was vain . And as for the rest , was not the sure justice of [His]_104-leonard law finding [her]_81-ruth out even now ? [His]_104-leonard laws once broken , [His]_104-leonard justice and the very nature of those laws bring the immutable retribution ; but if [we]_5708-we turn penitently to [Him]_104-leonard , [He]_104-leonard enables [us]_5708-we to bear [our]_5708-we punishment with a meek and docile heart , "_[0-i] for [His]_2944-his mercy endureth for ever . " [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had felt [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} rather wanting in proper attention to [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} guest]_{2835-his guest} , inasmuch as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been unable , all in a minute , to comprehend [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's rapid change of purpose ; and , before it had entered into [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} mind that , notwithstanding the distance of [the church]_{5657-the church} , [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was going thither , [that gentleman]_{5711-that gentleman} was out of the sight , and far out of the reach , of [[his]_{225-mr donne} burly host]_{5712-his burly host} . But though [the latter]_{1745-the latter} had so far neglected the duties of hospitality as to allow [[his]_{225-mr donne} visitor]_{5508-his visitor} to sit in [the [Eagle]_229-eagle 's Crag pew]_{57-the eagle 's crag pew} with no other guard of honour than [the children]_{550-the children} and [the governess]_{5644-the governess} , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} determined to make up for it by extra attention during the remainder of the day . Accordingly [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} never left [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . Whatever wish [that gentleman]_{5711-that gentleman} expressed , it was the study of [[his]_{225-mr donne} host]_{5510-his host} to gratify . Did [he]_{5711-that gentleman} hint at the pleasure which a walk in such beautiful scenery would give [him]_{5711-that gentleman} , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was willing to accompany [him]_{5711-that gentleman} , although at [Eccleston]_36-eccleston it was a principle with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} not to take any walks for pleasure on a Sunday . When [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} turned round , and recollected letters which must be written , and which would compel [him]_{225-mr donne} to stay at [home]_4124-home , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} instantly gave up the walk , and remained at hand , ready to furnish [him]_{225-mr donne} with any writing - materials which could be wanted , and which were not laid out in [the half - furnished house]_{5720-the half - furnished house} . [Nobody]_5038-nobody knew where [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} was all this time . [He]_{228-mr hickson} had sauntered out after [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , when [the latter]_{1745-the latter} set off for [church]_4207-church , and [he]_{228-mr hickson} had never returned . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} kept wondering if [he]_{225-mr donne} could have met [Ruth]_81-ruth -- if , in fact , [she]_81-ruth had gone out with [[her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} , now that the afternoon had cleared up . This uneasy wonder , and a few mental imprecations on [[his]_{225-mr donne} host]_{5510-his host} 's polite attention , together with the letter - writing pretence , passed away the afternoon -- the longest afternoon [he]_{225-mr donne} had ever spent ; and of weariness [he]_{225-mr donne} had had [his]_{225-mr donne} share . Lunch was lingering in [the dining - room]_{5320-the dining - room} , left there for [the truant Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} ; but of [the children]_{550-the children} or [Ruth]_81-ruth there was no sign . [He]_{225-mr donne} ventured on a distant inquiry as to [their]_2945-they whereabouts . "_[2945-they] [They]_2945-they dine early ; [they]_2945-they are gone to [church]_4207-church again . [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} was [a member of [the Establishment]_{2948-the establishment}]_{2947-a member of the establishment} once ; and , though [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} attends [chapel]_1864-chapel at [home]_4124-home , [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} seems glad to have an opportunity of going to [church]_4207-church . " [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was on the point of asking some further questions about "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , " when [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} came in , loud - spoken , cheerful , hungry , and as ready to talk about [his]_{228-mr hickson} ramble , and the way in which [he]_{228-mr hickson} had lost and found [himself]_{228-mr hickson} , as [he]_{228-mr hickson} was about everything else . [He]_{228-mr hickson} knew how to dress up the commonest occurrence with a little exaggeration , a few puns , and a happy quotation or two , so as to make it sound very agreeable . [He]_{228-mr hickson} could read faces , and saw that [he]_{228-mr hickson} had been missed ; [both host]_{5728-both host} and [visitor]_5729-visitor looked moped to death . [He]_{228-mr hickson} determined to devote [himself]_{228-mr hickson} to [their]_{5728-both host} amusement during the remainder of the day , for [he]_{228-mr hickson} had really lost [himself]_{228-mr hickson} , and felt that [he]_{228-mr hickson} had been away too long on a dull Sunday , when [people]_322-people were apt to get hypped if not well amused . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} It is really a shame to be indoors in such a place . Rain ? yes , it rained some hours ago , but now it is splendid weather . [I]_0-i feel [myself]_0-i quite qualified for guide , [I]_0-i assure [you]_2952-you . [I]_0-i can show [you]_2952-you all the beauties of [the neighbourhood]_{849-the neighbourhood} , and throw in a bog and a nest of vipers to boot . " [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} languidly assented to this proposal of going out ; and then [he]_{225-mr donne} became restless until [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} had eaten a hasty lunch , for [he]_{228-mr hickson} hoped to meet [Ruth]_81-ruth on the way from [church]_4207-church , to be near [her]_81-ruth , and watch [her]_81-ruth , though [he]_{228-mr hickson} might not be able to speak to [her]_81-ruth . To have the slow hours roll away -- to know [he]_{228-mr hickson} must leave the next day -- and yet , so close to [her]_81-ruth , not to be seeing [her]_81-ruth -- was more than [he]_{228-mr hickson} could bear . In an impetuous kind of way , [he]_{228-mr hickson} disregarded all [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} 's offers of guidance to lovely views , and turned a deaf ear to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's expressed wish of showing [him]_{228-mr hickson} [the land]_{1248-the land} belonging to [the house]_{426-the house} ( "_[0-i] very little for fourteen thousand pounds " ) , and set off wilfully on [the road leading to [the church]_{5657-the church}]_{5734-the road leading to the church} , from which , [he]_{228-mr hickson} averred , [he]_{228-mr hickson} had seen a view which nothing else about [the place]_{444-the place} could equal . [They]_5737-they met [the country people]_{1908-the country people} dropping homewards . No [Ruth]_81-ruth was [there]_332-there . [She]_81-ruth and [[her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} had returned by the field - way , as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} informed [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} guests]_{5741-his guests} at dinner - time . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was very captious all through dinner . [He]_{225-mr donne} thought it would never be over , and cursed [Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} 's interminable stories , which were told on purpose to amuse [him]_{225-mr donne} . [His]_{225-mr donne} heart gave a fierce bound when [he]_{225-mr donne} saw [her]_81-ruth in [the drawing - room]_{2873-the drawing - room} with [the little girls]_{2551-the little girls} . [She]_81-ruth was reading to [them]_{2551-the little girls} -- with how sick and trembling a heart , no words can tell . But [she]_81-ruth could master and keep down outward signs of [her]_81-ruth emotion . An hour more to - night ( part of which was to be spent in family prayer , and all in the safety of company ) , another hour in the morning ( when all would be engaged in the bustle of departure)--if , during this short space of time , [she]_81-ruth could not avoid speaking to [him]_{225-mr donne} , [she]_81-ruth could at least keep [him]_{225-mr donne} at such a distance as to make [him]_{225-mr donne} feel that henceforward [[her]_81-ruth world]_{507-her world} and [his]_{225-mr donne} belonged to separate systems , wide as the heavens apart . By degrees [she]_81-ruth felt that [he]_{225-mr donne} was drawing near to where [she]_81-ruth stood . [He]_{225-mr donne} was by the table examining the books that lay upon it . [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} drew off a little space , awe - stricken by [the future member for [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{5745-the future member for eccleston} . As [he]_{225-mr donne} bent [his]_{225-mr donne} head over a book , [he]_{225-mr donne} said , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i implore [you]_2954-you ; five minutes alone . " [The little girls]_{2551-the little girls} could not hear ; but [Ruth]_81-ruth , hemmed in so that no escape was possible , did hear . [She]_81-ruth took sudden courage , and said , in a clear voice , "_[0-i] Will [you]_2954-you read the whole passage aloud ? [I]_0-i do not remember it . " [Mr Hickson]_{228-mr hickson} , hovering at no great distance , heard these words , and drew near to second [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's request . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , who was very sleepy after [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} unusually late dinner , and longing for bedtime , joined in the request , for it would save the necessity for making talk , and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} might , perhaps , get in a nap , undisturbed and unnoticed , before [the servants]_{2544-the servants} came in to prayers . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was caught ; [he]_{225-mr donne} was obliged to read aloud , although [he]_{225-mr donne} did not know what [he]_{225-mr donne} was reading . In the middle of some sentence the door opened , a rush of [servants]_831-servants came in , and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} became particularly wide awake in an instant , and read [them]_{2544-the servants} a long sermon with great emphasis and unction , winding up with a prayer almost as long . [Ruth]_81-ruth sat with [her]_81-ruth head drooping , more from exhaustion after a season of effort than because [she]_81-ruth shunned [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's looks . [He]_{225-mr donne} had so lost [his]_{225-mr donne} power over [her]_81-ruth -- [his]_{225-mr donne} power , which had stirred [her]_81-ruth so deeply the night before -- that , except as one knowing [her]_81-ruth error and [her]_81-ruth shame , and making a cruel use of such knowledge , [she]_81-ruth had quite separated [him]_{225-mr donne} from the idol of [her]_81-ruth youth . And yet , for the sake of that first and only love , [she]_81-ruth would gladly have known what explanation [he]_{225-mr donne} could offer to account for leaving [her]_81-ruth . It would have been something gained to [her]_81-ruth own self - respect , if [she]_81-ruth had learnt that [he]_{225-mr donne} was not then , as [she]_81-ruth felt [him]_{225-mr donne} to be now , cold and egotistical , caring for [no one]_{517-no one} and nothing but what related to [himself]_{225-mr donne} . [Home]_4124-home , and [Leonard]_104-leonard -- how strangely peaceful [the two]_{1675-the two} seemed ! Oh , for the rest that a dream about [Leonard]_104-leonard would bring ! [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} went to bed immediately after prayers , and [Ruth]_81-ruth accompanied [them]_{1675-the two} . It was planned that [the gentlemen]_{2852-the gentlemen} should leave early the next morning . [They]_{2852-the gentlemen} were to breakfast half an hour sooner , to catch [the railway train]_{5753-the railway train} ; and this by [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's own arrangement , who had been as eager about [his]_{225-mr donne} canvassing , the week before , as it was possible for [him]_{225-mr donne} to be , but who now wished [Eccleston]_{222-eccleston} and [the Dissenting interest therein]_{5754-the dissenting interest therein} very fervently at the devil . Just as [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} came round , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} turned to [Ruth]_81-ruth : "_[2954-you] Any message for [Leonard]_104-leonard beyond love , which is a matter of course ? " [Ruth]_81-ruth gasped -- for [she]_81-ruth saw [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} catch at the name ; [she]_81-ruth did not guess the sudden sharp jealousy called out by the idea that [Leonard]_104-leonard was [a grown - up man]_{5756-a grown - up man} . "_{[104-leonard]} Who is [Leonard]_104-leonard ? " said [he]_{225-mr donne} to [the little girl standing by [him]_{225-mr donne}]_{5757-the little girl standing by him} ; [he]_{225-mr donne} did not know which [she]_{5757-the little girl standing by him} was . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} [[Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's little boy]_{2955-mrs denbigh 's little boy} , " answered [Mary]_118-mary . Under some pretence or other , [he]_{225-mr donne} drew near to [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and in that low voice , which [she]_81-ruth had learnt to loathe , [he]_{225-mr donne} said , "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} [[Our]_2956-our child]_{2957-our child} ! " By the white misery that turned [her]_81-ruth face to stone -- by the wild terror in [her]_81-ruth imploring eyes -- by the gasping breath which came out as [the carriage]_{4377-the carriage} drove away -- [he]_{225-mr donne} knew that [he]_{225-mr donne} had seized the spell to make [her]_81-ruth listen at last . CHAPTER XXIV The Meeting on [the Sands]_{58-the sands} "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} [He]_2958-he will take [him]_2958-he away from [me]_0-i ! [He]_2958-he will take [the child]_{565-the child} from [me]_0-i ! " These words rang like a tolling bell through [Ruth]_81-ruth 's head . It seemed to [her]_81-ruth that [her]_81-ruth doom was certain . [Leonard]_104-leonard would be taken from [her]_81-ruth ! [She]_81-ruth had a firm conviction -- not the less firm because [she]_81-ruth knew not on what it was based -- that [a child]_{556-a child} , whether legitimate or not , belonged of legal right to [the father]_{2701-the father} . And [Leonard]_104-leonard , of [all children]_{2358-all children} , was [the prince]_{5762-the prince} and [monarch]_5763-monarch . [Every man]_{1615-every man} 's heart would long to call [Leonard]_104-leonard "_[895-child] [Child]_895-child ! " [She]_81-ruth had been too strongly taxed to have much power left [her]_81-ruth to reason coolly and dispassionately , just then , even if [she]_81-ruth had been with [any one who could furnish [her]_81-ruth with information from which to draw correct conclusions]_{5765-any one who could furnish her with information from which to draw correct conclusions} . The one thought haunted [her]_81-ruth night and day--"He_[2958-he] will take [[my]_0-i child]_{5259-my child} away from [me]_0-i ! " In [her]_81-ruth dreams [she]_81-ruth saw [Leonard]_104-leonard borne away into [some dim land]_{5766-some dim land} , to which [she]_81-ruth could not follow . Sometimes [he]_104-leonard sat in [a swiftly - moving carriage]_{5767-a swiftly - moving carriage} , at [[his]_104-leonard father]_{658-his father} 's side , and smiled on [her]_81-ruth as [he]_104-leonard passed by , as if going to promised pleasure . At another time [he]_104-leonard was struggling to return to [her]_81-ruth ; stretching out [his]_104-leonard little arms , and crying to [her]_81-ruth for the help [she]_81-ruth could not give . How [she]_81-ruth got through the days , [she]_81-ruth did not know ; [her]_81-ruth body moved about and habitually acted , but [her]_81-ruth spirit was with [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} . [She]_81-ruth thought often of writing and warning [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} of [Leonard]_104-leonard 's danger ; but then [she]_81-ruth shrank from recurring to circumstances , all mention of which had ceased years ago ; the very recollection of which seemed buried deep for ever . Besides , [she]_81-ruth feared occasioning discord or commotion in the quiet circle in which [she]_81-ruth lived . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's deep anger against [[her]_81-ruth betrayer]_{5770-her betrayer} had been shown too clearly in the old time to allow [her]_81-ruth to think that [he]_104-leonard would keep it down without expression now . [He]_104-leonard would cease to do anything to forward [his]_104-leonard election ; [he]_104-leonard would oppose [him]_104-leonard as much as [he]_104-leonard could ; and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} would be angry , and a storm would arise , from the bare thought of which [Ruth]_81-ruth shrank with the cowardliness of [a person thoroughly worn out with late contest]_{5771-a person thoroughly worn out with late contest} . [She]_81-ruth was bodily wearied with [her]_81-ruth spiritual buffeting . One morning , three or four days after [their]_2962-their departure , [she]_81-ruth received a letter from [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [She]_81-ruth could not open it at first , and put it on one side , clenching [her]_81-ruth hand over it all the time . At last [she]_81-ruth tore it open . [Leonard]_104-leonard was safe as yet . There were a few lines in [his]_104-leonard great round hand , speaking of events no larger than the loss of a beautiful "_[2958-he] alley . " There was a sheet from [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [She]_81-ruth always wrote letters in the manner of a diary . "_[2958-he] Monday [we]_2962-their did so - and - so ; Tuesday , so - and - so , & amp;c . " [Ruth]_81-ruth glanced rapidly down the page . Yes , here it was ! Sick , fluttering heart , be still ! "_[2962-their] In the middle of [the damsons]_{2963-the damsons} , when [they]_{2963-the damsons} were just on the fire , there was a knock at the door . [[My]_0-i brother]_{4794-my brother} was out , and [Sally]_148-sally was washing up , and [I]_0-i was stirring [the preserve]_{2965-the preserve} with [my]_0-i great apron and bib on ; so [I]_0-i bade [Leonard]_104-leonard come in from [the garden]_{783-the garden} and open the door . But [I]_0-i would have washed [his]_104-leonard face first , if [I]_0-i had known who it was ! It was [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [the Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} that [they]_{2963-the damsons} hope to send up to [the House of Commons]_{2967-the house of commons} , as [member of Parliament for [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{2968-member of parliament for eccleston} , and [another gentleman]_{2969-another gentleman} , whose name [I]_0-i never heard . [They]_{2963-the damsons} had come canvassing ; and when [they]_{2963-the damsons} found [[my]_0-i brother]_{4794-my brother} was out , [they]_{2963-the damsons} asked [Leonard]_104-leonard if [they]_{2963-the damsons} could see [me]_0-i . [The child]_{565-the child} said , ' Yes ! if [I]_0-i could leave [the damsons]_{2963-the damsons} ; ' and straightway came to call [me]_0-i , leaving [them]_{2963-the damsons} standing in [the passage]_{1842-the passage} . [I]_0-i whipped off [my]_0-i apron , and took [Leonard]_104-leonard by the hand , for [I]_0-i fancied [I]_0-i should feel less awkward if [he]_104-leonard was with [me]_0-i ; and then [I]_0-i went and asked [them]_{2963-the damsons} all into [the study]_{1738-the study} , for [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i should like [them]_{2963-the damsons} to see how many books [Thurstan]_161-thurstan had got . Then [they]_{2963-the damsons} began talking politics at [me]_0-i in a very polite manner , only [I]_0-i could not make head or tail of what [they]_{2963-the damsons} meant ; and [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} took a deal of notice of [Leonard]_104-leonard , and called [him]_104-leonard to [him]_{225-mr donne} ; and [I]_0-i am sure [he]_{225-mr donne} noticed what [a noble , handsome boy]_{2975-a noble , handsome boy} [he]_104-leonard was , though [his]_104-leonard face was very brown and red , and hot with digging , and [his]_104-leonard curls all tangled . [Leonard]_104-leonard talked back as if [he]_104-leonard had known [him]_104-leonard all [his]_104-leonard life , till , [I]_0-i think , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought [he]_104-leonard was making too much noise , and bid [him]_104-leonard remember [he]_104-leonard ought to be seen , not heard . So [he]_104-leonard stood as still and stiff as [a soldier]_{2976-a soldier} , close to [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} ; and as [I]_0-i could not help looking at [the two]_{1675-the two} , and thinking how handsome [they]_{1675-the two} both were in [their]_{1675-the two} different ways , [I]_0-i could not tell [Thurstan]_161-thurstan half the messages [the gentlemen]_{2852-the gentlemen} left for [him]_161-thurstan . But there was one thing more [I]_0-i must tell [you]_2979-you , though [I]_0-i said [I]_0-i would not . When [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was talking to [Leonard]_104-leonard , [he]_{225-mr donne} took off [his]_{225-mr donne} watch and chain and put it round [the boy]_{4189-the boy} 's neck , who was pleased enough , [you]_2979-you may be sure . [I]_0-i bade [him]_{225-mr donne} give it back to [the gentleman]_{469-the gentleman} , when [they]_{2852-the gentlemen} were all going away ; and [I]_0-i was quite surprised , and very uncomfortable , when [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} said [he]_{225-mr donne} had given it to [Leonard]_104-leonard , and that [he]_{225-mr donne} was to keep it for [his]_{225-mr donne} own . [I]_0-i could see [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was annoyed , and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [the other gentleman]_{2982-the other gentleman} spoke to [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , and [I]_0-i heard [them]_{2852-the gentlemen} say , ' too barefaced ; ' and [I]_0-i shall never forget [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's proud , stubborn look back at [them]_{2852-the gentlemen} , nor [his]_{225-mr donne} way of saying , ' [I]_0-i allow [no one]_{517-no one} to interfere with what [I]_0-i choose to do with [my]_0-i own . ' And [he]_{225-mr donne} looked so haughty and displeased , [I]_0-i durst say nothing at the time . But when [I]_0-i told [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , [he]_161-thurstan was very grieved and angry ; and said [he]_161-thurstan had heard that [[our]_2984-our party]_{2985-our party} were bribing , but that [he]_161-thurstan never could have thought [they]_{2985-our party} would have tried to do it at [[his]_161-thurstan house]_{2164-his house} . [Thurstan]_161-thurstan is very much out of spirits about this election altogether ; and , indeed , it does make sad work up and down [the town]_{396-the town} . However , [he]_161-thurstan sent back the watch with a letter to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; and [Leonard]_104-leonard was very good about it , so [I]_0-i gave [him]_104-leonard a taste of [the new damson - preserve]_{2988-the new damson - preserve} on [his]_104-leonard bread for supper . " Although [a stranger]_{2130-a stranger} might have considered this letter wearisome from the multiplicity of the details , [Ruth]_81-ruth craved greedily after more . What had [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} said to [Leonard]_104-leonard ? Had [Leonard]_104-leonard liked [[his]_104-leonard new acquaintance]_{5773-his new acquaintance} ? Were [they]_2989-they likely to meet again ? After wondering and wondering over these points , [Ruth]_81-ruth composed [herself]_81-ruth by the hope that in a day or two [she]_81-ruth should hear again ; and to secure this end , [she]_81-ruth answered the letters by return of post . That was on Thursday . On Friday [she]_81-ruth had another letter , in a strange hand . It was from [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . No name , no initials were given . If it had fallen into [another person]_{4241-another person} 's hands , [they]_{4241-another person} could not have recognised [the writer]_{5775-the writer} , nor guessed to whom it was sent . It contained simply these words : "_[0-i] For [[our]_2989-they child]_{2957-our child} 's sake , and in [his]_{2957-our child} name , [I]_0-i summon [you]_2991-you to appoint a place where [I]_0-i can speak , and [you]_2991-you can listen , undisturbed . The time must be on Sunday ; the limit of distance may be the circumference of [your]_2991-you power of walking . [My]_0-i words may be commands , but [my]_0-i fond heart entreats . More [I]_0-i shall not say now , but , remember ! [[your]_2991-you boy]_{2992-your boy} 's welfare depends on [your]_2991-you acceding to this request . Address B. D. , [Post - Office]_{2993-post - office} , [Eccleston]_36-eccleston . " [Ruth]_81-ruth did not attempt to answer this letter till the last five minutes before the post went out . [She]_81-ruth could not decide until forced to it . Either way [she]_81-ruth dreaded . [She]_81-ruth was very nearly leaving the letter altogether unanswered . But suddenly [she]_81-ruth resolved [she]_81-ruth would know all , the best , the worst . No cowardly dread of [herself]_81-ruth , or of [others]_368-others , should make [her]_81-ruth neglect aught that came to [her]_81-ruth in [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's name . [She]_81-ruth took up a pen and wrote : "_[2991-you] [The sands below the rocks]_{2994-the sands below the rocks} , where [we]_2995-they met [you]_2991-you the other night . Time , afternoon [church]_4207-church . " [Sunday]_106-sunday came . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall not go to [church]_4207-church this afternoon . [You]_2991-you know the way , of course ; and [I]_0-i can trust [you]_2991-you to go steadily by [yourselves]_2991-you . " When [they]_2995-they came to kiss [her]_81-ruth before leaving [her]_81-ruth , according to [their]_2995-they fond wo nt , [they]_2995-they were struck by the coldness of [her]_81-ruth face and lips . "_[0-i] Are [you]_2991-you not well , [dear Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ? How cold [you]_2991-you are ! " "_{[4344-darling]} Yes , [darling]_4344-darling ! [I]_0-i am well ; " and tears sprang into [her]_81-ruth eyes as [she]_81-ruth looked at [their]_2995-they anxious little faces . "_[0-i] Go now , [dears]_2894-dears . Five o'clock will soon be [here]_4172-here , and then [we]_3001-we will have tea . " "_[0-i] And that will warm [you]_2991-you ! " said [they]_2995-they , leaving [the room]_{357-the room} . "_[0-i] And then it will be over , " [she]_81-ruth murmured--"over_[0-i] . " It never came into [her]_81-ruth head to watch [the girls]_{414-the girls} as [they]_{414-the girls} disappeared down [the lane]_{4125-the lane} on [their]_{414-the girls} way to [church]_4207-church . [She]_81-ruth knew [them]_{414-the girls} too well to distrust [their]_{414-the girls} doing what [they]_{414-the girls} were told . [She]_81-ruth sat still , [her]_81-ruth head bowed on [her]_81-ruth arms for a few minutes , and then rose up and went to put on [her]_81-ruth walking things . Some thoughts impelled [her]_81-ruth to sudden haste . [She]_81-ruth crossed [the field]_{741-the field} by the side of [the house]_{426-the house} , ran down [the steep and rocky path]_{5784-the steep and rocky path} , and was carried by the impetus of [her]_81-ruth descent far out on [the level sands]_{5785-the level sands} -- but not far enough for [her]_81-ruth intent . Without looking to the right hand or to the left , where [comers]_5786-comers might be seen , [she]_81-ruth went forwards to the black posts , which , rising above [the heaving waters]_{5787-the heaving waters} , marked where [the fishermen]_{5788-the fishermen} 's nets were laid . [She]_81-ruth went straight towards [this place]_{1323-this place} , and hardly stinted [her]_81-ruth pace even where [the wet sands]_{5790-the wet sands} were glittering with the receding waves . Once there , [she]_81-ruth turned round , and in a darting glance , saw that as yet [no one]_{517-no one} was near . [She]_81-ruth was perhaps half - a - mile or more from [the grey , silvery rocks]_{5792-the grey , silvery rocks} , which sloped away into [brown moorland]_{5793-brown moorland} , interspersed with [a field here and there of golden , waving corn]_{5794-a field here and there of golden , waving corn} . Behind were [purple hills , with sharp , clear outlines , touching the sky]_{5795-purple hills , with sharp , clear outlines , touching the sky} . A little on one side from where [she]_81-ruth stood , [she]_81-ruth saw [the white cottages and houses which formed [the village of Abermouth]_{5797-the village of abermouth}]_{5796-the white cottages and houses which formed the village of abermouth} , scattered up and down , and , on [a windy hill]_{5798-a windy hill} , about a mile inland , [she]_81-ruth saw [the little grey church]_{5799-the little grey church} , where even now [many were worshipping in peace]_{5800-many were worshipping in peace} . "_[0-i] Pray for [me]_0-i ! " [she]_81-ruth sighed out , as this object caught [her]_81-ruth eye . And now , close under [the heathery fields]_{5801-the heathery fields} , where they fell softly down and touched [the sands]_{2867-the sands} , [she]_81-ruth saw a figure moving in the direction of the great shadow made by [the rocks]_{5537-the rocks} -- going towards the very point where [the path from [Eagle]_229-eagle 's Crag]_{5804-the path from eagle 's crag} came down to [the shore]_{5805-the shore} . "_[3002-he] It is [he]_3002-he ! " said [she]_81-ruth to [herself]_81-ruth . And [she]_81-ruth turned round and looked seaward . The tide had turned ; the waves were slowly receding , as if loath to lose the hold [they]_5806-they had , so lately , and with such swift bounds , gained on [the yellow sands]_{5807-the yellow sands} . The eternal moan [they]_5806-they have made since [the world]_{506-the world} began filled the ear , broken only by the skirl of the grey sea - birds as [they]_5806-they alighted in groups on the edge of [the waters]_{5809-the waters} , or as [they]_5806-they rose up with [their]_5806-they measured , balancing motion , and the sunlight caught [their]_5806-they white breasts . There was no sign of human life to be seen ; [no boat]_{5810-no boat} , or distant sail , or near shrimper . [The black posts]_{5811-the black posts} there were all that spoke of [men]_836-men 's work or labour . Beyond a stretch of [the waters]_{5809-the waters} , [a few pale grey hills]_{5814-a few pale grey hills} showed like films ; [their]_{5814-a few pale grey hills} summits clear , though faint , [their]_{5814-a few pale grey hills} bases lost in a vapoury mist . On [the hard , echoing sands]_{5815-the hard , echoing sands} , and distinct from the ceaseless murmur of the salt sea waves , came footsteps -- nearer -- nearer . Very near [they]_5806-they were when [Ruth]_81-ruth , unwilling to show the fear that rioted in [her]_81-ruth heart , turned round , and faced [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . [He]_0-i came forward , with both hands extended . "_[3002-he] This is kind ! [my]_0-i own [Ruth]_81-ruth , " said [he]_0-i . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's arms hung down motionless at [her]_81-ruth sides . "_[81-ruth] What ! [Ruth]_81-ruth , have [you]_81-ruth no word for [me]_0-i ? " "_[81-ruth] [I]_0-i have nothing to say , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] Why , [[you]_81-ruth little revengeful creature]_{3003-you little revengeful creature} ! And so [I]_0-i am to explain all before [you]_81-ruth will even treat [me]_0-i with decent civility . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not want explanations , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , in a trembling tone . "_[3004-we] [We]_3004-we must not speak of the past . [You]_81-ruth asked [me]_0-i to come in [Leonard's]_{235-leonard's} -- in [[my]_0-i child]_{5259-my child} 's name , and to hear what [you]_81-ruth had to say about [him]_{235-leonard's} . " "_[81-ruth] But what [I]_0-i have to say about [him]_{235-leonard's} relates to [you]_81-ruth even more . And how can [we]_3004-we talk about [him]_{235-leonard's} without recurring to the past ? That past , which [you]_81-ruth try to ignore -- [I]_0-i know [you]_81-ruth can not do it in [your]_81-ruth heart -- is full of happy recollections to [me]_0-i . Were [you]_81-ruth not happy in [Wales]_22-wales ? " [he]_0-i said , in [his]_0-i tenderest tone . But there was no answer ; not even one faint sigh , though [he]_0-i listened intently . "_[81-ruth] [You]_81-ruth dare not speak ; [you]_81-ruth dare not answer [me]_0-i . [Your]_81-ruth heart will not allow [you]_81-ruth to prevaricate , and [you]_81-ruth know [you]_81-ruth were happy . " Suddenly [Ruth]_81-ruth 's beautiful eyes were raised to [him]_0-i , full of lucid splendour , but grave and serious in [their]_5816-their expression ; and [her]_81-ruth cheeks , heretofore so faintly tinged with the tenderest blush , flashed into a ruddy glow . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was happy . [I]_0-i do not deny it . Whatever comes , [I]_0-i will not blench from the truth . [I]_0-i have answered [you]_0-i . " "_[0-i] And yet , " replied [he]_0-i , secretly exulting in [her]_81-ruth admission , and not perceiving the inner strength of which [she]_81-ruth must have been conscious before [she]_81-ruth would have dared to make it--"and_[81-ruth] yet , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [we]_3006-we are not to recur to the past ! Why not ? If it was happy at the time , is the recollection of it so miserable to [you]_81-ruth ? " [He]_0-i tried once more to take [her]_81-ruth hand , but [she]_81-ruth quietly stepped back . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i came to hear what [you]_0-i had to say about [[my]_0-i child]_{5259-my child} , " said [she]_81-ruth , beginning to feel very weary . "_[0-i] _ [[Our]_3006-we _ child]_{3008-our _ child} , [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [She]_81-ruth drew [herself]_81-ruth up , and [her]_81-ruth face went very pale . "_[0-i] What have [you]_0-i to say about [him]_{5259-my child} ? " asked [she]_81-ruth , coldly . "_[0-i] Much , " exclaimed he--"much_[0-i] that may affect [his]_{5259-my child} whole life . But it all depends upon whether [you]_81-ruth will hear [me]_0-i or not . " "_[81-ruth] [I]_0-i listen . " "_[81-ruth] [Good Heavens]_{236-good heavens} ! [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth will drive [me]_0-i mad . Oh ! what [a changed person]_{3009-a changed person} [you]_81-ruth are from the sweet , loving creature [you]_81-ruth were ! [I]_0-i wish [you]_81-ruth were not so beautiful . " [She]_81-ruth did not reply , but [he]_0-i caught a deep , involuntary sigh . "_[0-i] Will [you]_81-ruth hear [me]_0-i if [I]_0-i speak , though [I]_0-i may not begin all at once to talk of [this boy]_{3010-this boy} -- [a boy of whom [any mother]_{3012-any mother}]_{3011-a boy of whom any mother} -- [any parent]_{3013-any parent} , might be proud ? [I]_0-i could see that , [Ruth]_81-ruth . [I]_0-i have seen [him]_{3010-this boy} ; [he]_{3010-this boy} looked like a prince in [that cramped , miserable house]_{3014-that cramped , miserable house} , and with no earthly advantages . It is a shame [he]_{3010-this boy} should not have every kind of opportunity laid open before [him]_{3010-this boy} . " There was no sign of maternal ambition on the motionless face , though there might be some little spring in [her]_81-ruth heart , as it beat quick and strong at the idea of the proposal [she]_81-ruth imagined [he]_0-i was going to make of taking [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} away to give [him]_{3010-this boy} the careful education [she]_81-ruth had often craved for [him]_{3010-this boy} . [She]_81-ruth should refuse it , as [she]_81-ruth would everything else which seemed to imply that [she]_81-ruth acknowledged a claim over [Leonard]_104-leonard ; but yet sometimes , for [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} 's sake , [she]_81-ruth had longed for a larger opening -- a more extended sphere . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [you]_81-ruth acknowledge [we]_3015-we were happy once;--there were circumstances which , if [I]_0-i could tell [you]_81-ruth them all in detail , would show [you]_81-ruth how in [my]_0-i weak , convalescent state [I]_0-i was almost passive in the hands of [others]_368-others . Ah , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [I]_0-i have not forgotten [the tender nurse who soothed [me]_0-i in [my]_0-i delirium]_{3017-the tender nurse who soothed me in my delirium} . When [I]_0-i am feverish , [I]_0-i dream that [I]_0-i am again at [Llan - dhu]_{31-llan - dhu} , in [the little old bed - chamber]_{3018-the little old bed - chamber} , and [you]_81-ruth , in white -- which [you]_81-ruth always wore then , [you]_81-ruth know -- flitting about [me]_0-i . " The tears dropped , large and round , from [Ruth]_81-ruth 's eyes -- [she]_81-ruth could not help it -- how could [she]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] [We]_3019-we were happy then , " continued [he]_0-i , gaining confidence from the sight of [her]_81-ruth melted mood , and recurring once more to the admission which [he]_0-i considered so much in [his]_0-i favour . "_[3019-we] Can such happiness never return ? " Thus [he]_0-i went on , quickly , anxious to lay before [her]_81-ruth all [he]_0-i had to offer , before [she]_81-ruth should fully understand [his]_0-i meaning . "_[3019-we] If [you]_81-ruth would consent , [Leonard]_104-leonard should be always with [you]_81-ruth -- educated where and how [you]_81-ruth liked -- money to any amount [you]_81-ruth might choose to name should be secured to [you]_81-ruth and [him]_104-leonard -- if only , [Ruth]_81-ruth -- if only those happy days might return . " [Ruth]_81-ruth spoke . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said that [I]_0-i was happy , because [I]_0-i had asked [God]_104-leonard to protect and help [me]_0-i -- and [I]_0-i dared not tell a lie . [I]_0-i was happy . Oh ! what is happiness or misery that [we]_3020-we should talk about [them]_3021-them now ? " [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} looked at [her]_81-ruth , as [she]_81-ruth uttered these words , to see if [she]_81-ruth was wandering in [her]_81-ruth mind , they seemed to [him]_{225-mr donne} so utterly strange and incoherent . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i dare not think of happiness -- [I]_0-i must not look forward to sorrow . [God]_104-leonard did not put [me]_0-i here to consider either of these things . " "_{[104-leonard]} [[My]_0-i dear]_{4145-my dear} [Ruth]_81-ruth , compose [yourself]_81-ruth ! There is no hurry in answering the question [I]_0-i asked . " "_[0-i] What was it ? " said [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i love [you]_0-i so , [I]_0-i can not live without [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i offer [you]_0-i [my]_0-i heart , [my]_0-i life -- [I]_0-i offer to place [Leonard]_104-leonard wherever [you]_0-i would have [him]_104-leonard placed . [I]_0-i have the power and the means to advance [him]_104-leonard in any path of life [you]_0-i choose . [All who have shown kindness to [you]_0-i]_{3023-all who have shown kindness to you} shall be rewarded by [me]_0-i , with a gratitude even surpassing [your]_0-i own . If there is anything else [I]_0-i can do that [you]_0-i can suggest , [I]_0-i will do it . " "_[0-i] Listen to [me]_0-i ! " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , now that the idea of what [he]_0-i proposed had entered [her]_81-ruth mind . "_[0-i] When [I]_0-i said that [I]_0-i was happy with [you]_0-i long ago , [I]_0-i was choked with shame as [I]_0-i said it . And yet it may be a vain , false excuse that [I]_0-i make for [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i was very young ; [I]_0-i did not know how such a life was against [God]_104-leonard 's pure and holy will -- at least , not as [I]_0-i know it now ; and [I]_0-i tell [you]_0-i truth -- all the days of [my]_0-i years since [I]_0-i have gone about with a stain on [my]_0-i hidden soul -- a stain which made [me]_0-i loathe [myself]_0-i , and envy those who stood spotless and undefiled ; which made [me]_0-i shrink from [[my]_0-i child]_{5259-my child} -- from [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , from [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , from [the innocent girls whom [I]_0-i teach]_{3026-the innocent girls whom i teach} -- nay , even [I]_0-i have cowered away from [God]_104-leonard [Himself]_104-leonard ; and what [I]_0-i did wrong then , [I]_0-i did blindly to what [I]_0-i should do now if [I]_0-i listened to [you]_3027-she . " [She]_3027-she was so strongly agitated that [she]_3027-she put [her]_3027-she hands over [her]_3027-she face , and sobbed without restraint . Then , taking them away , [she]_3027-she looked at [him]_3027-she with a glowing face , and beautiful , honest , wet eyes , and tried to speak calmly , as [she]_3027-she asked if [she]_3027-she needed to stay longer ( [she]_3027-she would have gone away at once but that [she]_3027-she thought of [Leonard]_104-leonard , and wished to hear all that [[his]_3027-she father]_{658-his father} might have to say ) . [He]_3027-she was so struck anew by [her]_3027-she beauty , and understood [her]_3027-she so little , that [he]_3027-she believed that [she]_3027-she only required a little more urging to consent to what [he]_3027-she wished ; for in all [she]_3027-she had said there was no trace of the anger and resentment for [his]_3027-she desertion of [her]_3027-she , which [he]_3027-she had expected would be a prominent feature -- the greatest obstacle [he]_3027-she had to encounter . The deep sense of penitence [she]_3027-she expressed , [he]_3027-she mistook for earthly shame ; which [he]_3027-she imagined [he]_3027-she could soon soothe away . "_[3027-she] Yes , [I]_0-i have much more to say . [I]_0-i have not said half . [I]_0-i can not tell [you]_3028-you how fondly [I]_0-i will -- how fondly [I]_0-i do love [you]_3028-you -- how [my]_0-i life shall be spent in ministering to [your]_3028-you wishes . Money , [I]_0-i see -- [I]_0-i know , [you]_3028-you despise-- " "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ! [I]_0-i will not stay to hear [you]_3028-you speak to [me]_0-i so again . [I]_0-i have been sinful , but it is not [you]_3028-you who should-- " [She]_81-ruth could not speak , [she]_81-ruth was so choking with passionate sorrow . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} wanted to calm [her]_81-ruth , as [he]_{94-mr bellingham} saw [her]_81-ruth shaken with repressed sobs . [He]_{94-mr bellingham} put [his]_{94-mr bellingham} hand on [her]_81-ruth arm . [She]_81-ruth shook it off impatiently , and moved away in an instant . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth ! " said [he]_{94-mr bellingham} , nettled by [her]_81-ruth action of repugnance , "_[81-ruth] [I]_0-i begin to think [you]_81-ruth never loved [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [I!--I]_0-i never loved [you]_3028-you ! Do [you]_3028-you dare to say so ? " [Her]_81-ruth eyes flamed on [him]_{94-mr bellingham} as [she]_81-ruth spoke . [Her]_81-ruth red , round lip curled into beautiful contempt . "_[3028-you] Why do [you]_81-ruth shrink so from [me]_0-i ? " said [he]_{94-mr bellingham} , in [his]_{94-mr bellingham} turn getting impatient . "_[81-ruth] [I]_0-i did not come here to be spoken to in this way , " said [she]_81-ruth . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i came , if by any chance [I]_0-i could do [Leonard]_104-leonard good . [I]_0-i would submit to many humiliations for [his]_104-leonard sake -- but to no more from [you]_3028-you . " "_[3028-you] Are not [you]_81-ruth afraid to brave [me]_0-i so ? " said [he]_{94-mr bellingham} . "_[81-ruth] Do n't [you]_81-ruth know how much [you]_81-ruth are in [my]_0-i power ? " [She]_81-ruth was silent . [She]_81-ruth longed to go away , but dreaded lest [he]_{94-mr bellingham} should follow [her]_81-ruth , where [she]_81-ruth might be less subject to interruption than [she]_81-ruth was here -- near [the fisherman]_{5820-the fisherman} 's nets , which the receding tide was leaving every moment barer and more bare , and the posts [they]_{5820-the fisherman} were fastened to more blackly uprising above [the waters]_{5809-the waters} . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} put [his]_0-i hands on [her]_81-ruth arms as they hung down before [her]_81-ruth -- [her]_81-ruth hands tightly clasped together . "_[81-ruth] Ask [me]_0-i to let [you]_81-ruth go , " said [he]_0-i . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will , if [you]_81-ruth will ask [me]_0-i . " [He]_0-i looked very fierce and passionate and determined . The vehemence of [his]_0-i action took [Ruth]_81-ruth by surprise , and the painful tightness of the grasp almost made [her]_81-ruth exclaim . But [she]_81-ruth was quite still and mute . "_[0-i] Ask [me]_0-i , " said [he]_0-i , giving [her]_81-ruth a little shake . [She]_81-ruth did not speak . [Her]_81-ruth eyes , fixed on [the distant shore]_{5822-the distant shore} , were slowly filling with tears . Suddenly a light came through the mist that obscured them , and the shut lips parted . [She]_81-ruth saw some distant object that gave [her]_81-ruth hope . "_[0-i] It is [Stephen Bromley]_{237-stephen bromley} , " said [she]_81-ruth . "_{[237-stephen bromley]} [He]_{237-stephen bromley} is coming to [[his]_{237-stephen bromley} nets]_{3029-his nets} . [They]_{3029-his nets} say [he]_{237-stephen bromley} is [a very desperate , violent man]_{3030-a very desperate , violent man} , but [he]_{237-stephen bromley} will protect [me]_0-i . " "_{[237-stephen bromley]} [You]_0-i obstinate , wilful creature ! " said [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , releasing [his]_{225-mr donne} grasp . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i forget that one word of [mine]_3031-mine could undeceive [all these good people at [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{3032-all these good people at eccleston} ; and that if [I]_0-i spoke out ever so little , [they]_{3032-all these good people at eccleston} would throw [you]_0-i off in an instant . Now ! " [he]_0-i continued , "_[0-i] do [you]_0-i understand how much [you]_0-i are in [my]_0-i power ? " "_[0-i] [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} know all -- [they]_{3032-all these good people at eccleston} have not thrown [me]_0-i off , " [Ruth]_81-ruth gasped out . "_{[3032-all these good people at eccleston]} Oh ! for [Leonard]_104-leonard 's sake ! [you]_0-i would not be so cruel . " "_[0-i] Then do not [you]_0-i be cruel to [him]_104-leonard -- to [me]_0-i . Think once more ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think once more ; " [she]_81-ruth spoke solemnly . "_[0-i] To save [Leonard]_104-leonard from the shame and agony of knowing [my]_0-i disgrace , [I]_0-i would lie down and die . Oh ! perhaps it would be best for [him]_104-leonard -- for [me]_0-i , if [I]_0-i might ; [my]_0-i death would be a stingless grief -- but to go back into sin would be the real cruelty to [him]_104-leonard . The errors of [my]_0-i youth may be washed away by [my]_0-i tears -- it was so once when [the gentle , blessed Christ]_{3033-the gentle , blessed christ} was upon [earth]_2018-earth ; but now , if [I]_0-i went into wilful guilt , as [you]_3035-you would have [me]_0-i , how could [I]_0-i teach [Leonard God]_104-leonard 's holy will ? [I]_0-i should not mind [his]_104-leonard knowing [my]_0-i past sin , compared to the awful corruption it would be if [he]_104-leonard knew [me]_0-i living now , as [you]_3035-you would have [me]_0-i , lost to all fear of [God--]_238-god-- " [Her]_3035-you speech was broken by sobs . "_[238-god--] Whatever may be [my]_0-i doom -- [God]_104-leonard is just -- [I]_0-i leave [myself]_0-i in [His]_104-leonard hands . [I]_0-i will save [Leonard]_104-leonard from evil . Evil would it be for [him]_104-leonard if [I]_0-i lived with [you]_3035-you . [I]_0-i will let [him]_104-leonard die first ! " [She]_3035-you lifted [her]_3035-you eyes to heaven , and clasped and wreathed [her]_3035-you hands together tight . Then [she]_3035-you said : "_[0-i] [You]_3035-you have humbled [me]_0-i enough , [sir]_4181-sir . [I]_0-i shall leave [you]_4181-sir now . " [She]_3035-you turned away resolutely . [The dark , grey fisherman]_{5823-the dark , grey fisherman} was at hand . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} folded [his]_{225-mr donne} arms , and set [his]_{225-mr donne} teeth , and looked after [her]_3037-her . "_[4181-sir] What a stately step [she]_3037-her has ! How majestic and graceful all [her]_3037-her attitudes were ! [She]_3037-her thinks [she]_3037-her has baffled [me]_0-i now . [We]_3038-we will try something more , and bid a higher price . " [He]_{225-mr donne} unfolded [his]_{225-mr donne} arms , and began to follow [her]_3037-her . [He]_{225-mr donne} gained upon [her]_3037-her , for [her]_3037-her beautiful walk was now wavering and unsteady . The works which had kept [her]_3037-her in motion were running down fast . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth ! " said [he]_{225-mr donne} , overtaking [her]_3037-her . "_[81-ruth] [You]_81-ruth shall hear [me]_0-i once more . Aye , look round ! [[Your]_81-ruth fisherman]_{3039-your fisherman} is near . [He]_{3039-your fisherman} may hear [me]_0-i , if [he]_{3039-your fisherman} chooses -- hear [your]_81-ruth triumph . [I]_0-i am come to offer to marry [you]_81-ruth , [Ruth]_81-ruth ; come what may , [I]_0-i will have [you]_81-ruth . Nay -- [I]_0-i will make [you]_81-ruth hear [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i will hold this hand till [you]_81-ruth have heard [me]_0-i . To - morrow [I]_0-i will speak to [any one in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston [you]_81-ruth like]_{3040-any one in eccleston you like} -- to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; [Mr ----]_{3041-mr ----} , [the little minister]_{2770-the little minister} , [I]_0-i mean . [We]_3043-we can make it worth while for [him]_{2770-the little minister} to keep [our]_3043-we secret , and [no one else]_{1707-no one else} need know but what [you]_81-ruth are really [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . [Leonard]_104-leonard shall still bear this name , but in all things else [he]_104-leonard shall be treated as [[my]_0-i son]_{1320-my son} . [He]_104-leonard and [you]_81-ruth would grace any situation . [I]_0-i will take care the highest paths are open to [him]_104-leonard ! " [He]_{2770-the little minister} looked to see the lovely face brighten into sudden joy ; on the contrary , the head was still hung down with a heavy droop . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not , " said [she]_81-ruth ; [her]_81-ruth voice was very faint and low . "_[0-i] It is sudden for [you]_81-ruth , [[my]_0-i dearest]_{4343-my dearest} . But be calm . It will all be easily managed . Leave it to [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not , " repeated [she]_81-ruth , more distinct and clear , though still very low . "_[0-i] Why ! what on earth makes [you]_0-i say that ? " asked [he]_0-i , in a mood to be irritated by any repetition of such words . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not love [you]_81-ruth . [I]_0-i did once . Do n't say [I]_0-i did not love [you]_81-ruth then ; but [I]_0-i do not now . [I]_0-i could never love [you]_81-ruth again . All [you]_81-ruth have said and done since [you]_81-ruth came with [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth first , has only made [me]_0-i wonder how [I]_0-i ever could have loved [you]_81-ruth . [We]_3047-we are very far apart . The time that has pressed down [my]_0-i life like brands of hot iron , and scarred [me]_0-i for ever , has been nothing to [you]_81-ruth . [You]_81-ruth have talked of it with no sound of moaning in [your]_81-ruth voice -- no shadow over the brightness of [your]_81-ruth face ; it has left no sense of sin on [your]_81-ruth conscience , while [me]_0-i it haunts and haunts ; and yet [I]_0-i might plead that [I]_0-i was [an ignorant child]_{3048-an ignorant child} -- only [I]_0-i will not plead anything , for [God]_104-leonard knows all-- But this is only one piece of [our]_3047-we great difference-- " "_[81-ruth] [You]_81-ruth mean that [I]_0-i am [no saint]_{3049-no saint} , " [he]_0-i said , impatient at [her]_81-ruth speech . "_[81-ruth] Granted . But [people who are no saints]_{3050-people who are no saints} have made [very good husbands]_{3051-very good husbands} before now . Come , do n't let any morbid , overstrained conscientiousness interfere with substantial happiness -- happiness both to [you]_81-ruth and to [me]_0-i -- for [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i can make [you]_81-ruth happy -- aye ! and make [you]_81-ruth love [me]_0-i , too , in spite of [your]_81-ruth pretty defiance . [I]_0-i love [you]_81-ruth so dearly [I]_0-i must win love back . And here are advantages for [Leonard]_104-leonard , to be gained by [you]_81-ruth quite in a holy and legitimate way . " [She]_81-ruth stood very erect . "_[81-ruth] If there was one thing needed to confirm [me]_0-i , [you]_81-ruth have named it . [You]_81-ruth shall have nothing to do with [[my]_0-i boy]_{3052-my boy} , by [my]_0-i consent , much less by [[my]_0-i agency]_{3053-my agency} . [I]_0-i would rather see [him]_{3052-my boy} working on [the roadside]_{3054-the roadside} than leading such a life -- being such a one as [you]_81-ruth are . [You]_81-ruth have heard [my]_0-i mind now , [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} . [You]_81-ruth have humbled [me]_0-i -- [you]_81-ruth have baited [me]_0-i ; and if at last [I]_0-i have spoken out too harshly , and too much in a spirit of judgment , the fault is [yours]_81-ruth . If there were no other reason to prevent [our]_3055-our marriage but the one fact that it would bring [Leonard]_104-leonard into contact with [you]_81-ruth , that would be enough . " "_[81-ruth] It is enough ! " said [he]_0-i , making [her]_81-ruth a low bow . "_[81-ruth] Neither [you]_81-ruth nor [[your]_81-ruth child]_{4796-your child} shall ever more be annoyed by [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i wish [you]_81-ruth a good evening . " [They]_3055-our walked apart -- [he]_0-i back to [the inn]_{1055-the inn} , to set off instantly , while the blood was hot within [him]_0-i , from [the place where [he]_0-i had been so mortified]_{5825-the place where he had been so mortified} -- [she]_81-ruth to steady [herself]_81-ruth along till [she]_81-ruth reached [the little path]_{5826-the little path} , more like [a rude staircase]_{5827-a rude staircase} than anything else , by which [she]_81-ruth had to climb to [the house]_{426-the house} . [She]_81-ruth did not turn round for some time after [she]_81-ruth was fairly lost to the sight of [any one on [the shore]_{5805-the shore}]_{5829-any one on the shore} ; [she]_81-ruth clambered on , almost stunned by the rapid beating of [her]_81-ruth heart . [Her]_81-ruth eyes were hot and dry ; and at last became as if [she]_81-ruth were suddenly blind . Unable to go on , [she]_81-ruth tottered into the tangled underwood which grew among the stones , filling every niche and crevice , and little shelving space , with green and delicate tracery . [She]_81-ruth sank down behind a great overhanging rock , which hid [her]_81-ruth from any one coming up [the path]_{806-the path} . An ash - tree was rooted in this rock , slanting away from the sea - breezes that were prevalent in most weathers ; but this was a still , autumnal Sabbath evening . As [Ruth]_81-ruth 's limbs fell , so they lay . [She]_81-ruth had no strength , no power of volition to move a finger . [She]_81-ruth could not think or remember . [She]_81-ruth was literally stunned . The first sharp sensation which roused [her]_81-ruth from [her]_81-ruth torpor was a quick desire to see [him]_5832-him once more ; up [she]_81-ruth sprang , and climbed to an out - jutting [dizzy point of rock]_{5833-dizzy point of rock} , but a little above [[her]_81-ruth sheltered nook]_{5834-her sheltered nook} , yet commanding a wide view over [the bare , naked sands;--far]_{5835-the bare , naked sands;--far} away below , touching the rippling water - line , was [Stephen Bromley]_{237-stephen bromley} , busily gathering in [his]_{237-stephen bromley} nets ; besides [him]_{237-stephen bromley} there was [no living creature]_{5836-no living creature} visible . [Ruth]_81-ruth shaded [her]_81-ruth eyes , as if [she]_81-ruth thought [they]_5837-they might have deceived [her]_81-ruth ; but no , there was [no one there]_{4419-no one there} . [She]_81-ruth went slowly down to [[her]_81-ruth old place]_{5839-her old place} , crying sadly as [she]_81-ruth went . "_[0-i] Oh ! if [I]_0-i had not spoken so angrily to [him]_3057-him -- the last things [I]_0-i said were so bitter -- so reproachful!--and [I]_0-i shall never , never see [him]_3057-him again ! " [She]_81-ruth could not take in the general view and scope of [their]_5840-their conversation -- the event was too near [her]_81-ruth for that ; but [her]_81-ruth heart felt sore at the echo of [her]_81-ruth last words , just and true as their severity was . [Her]_81-ruth struggle , [her]_81-ruth constant flowing tears , which fell from very weakness , made [her]_81-ruth experience a sensation of intense bodily fatigue ; and [her]_81-ruth soul had lost the power of throwing itself forward , or contemplating anything beyond the dreary present , when [the expanse of grey , wild , bleak moors]_{5841-the expanse of grey , wild , bleak moors} , stretching wide away below a sunless sky , seemed only an outward sign of the waste world within [her]_81-ruth heart , for which [she]_81-ruth could claim no sympathy;--for [she]_81-ruth could not even define what its woes were ; and if [she]_81-ruth could , [no one]_{517-no one} would understand how the present time was haunted by the terrible ghost of [the former love]_{5843-the former love} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am so weary ! [I]_0-i am so weary ! " [she]_81-ruth moaned aloud at last . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder if [I]_0-i might stop here , and just die away . " [She]_81-ruth shut [her]_81-ruth eyes , until through the closed lids came a ruddy blaze of light . The clouds had parted away , and the sun was going down in a crimson glory behind [the distant purple hills]_{5844-the distant purple hills} . The whole western sky was one flame of fire . [Ruth]_81-ruth forgot [herself]_81-ruth in looking at the gorgeous sight . [She]_81-ruth sat up gazing , and , as [she]_81-ruth gazed , the tears dried on [her]_81-ruth cheeks ; and , somehow , all human care and sorrow were swallowed up in the unconscious sense of [God]_104-leonard 's infinity . The sunset calmed [her]_81-ruth more than any words , however wise and tender , could have done . It even seemed to give [her]_81-ruth strength and courage ; [she]_81-ruth did not know how or why , but so it was . [She]_81-ruth rose , and went slowly towards [home]_4124-home . [Her]_81-ruth limbs were very stiff , and every now and then [she]_81-ruth had to choke down an unbidden sob . [[Her]_81-ruth pupils]_{2406-her pupils} had been long returned from [church]_4207-church , and had busied [themselves]_{2406-her pupils} in preparing tea -- an occupation which had probably made [them]_{2406-her pupils} feel the time less long . If [they]_{2406-her pupils} had ever seen [a sleep - walker]_{5848-a sleep - walker} , [they]_{2406-her pupils} might have likened [Ruth]_81-ruth to one for the next few days , so slow and measured did [her]_81-ruth movements seem -- so far away was [her]_81-ruth intelligence from all that was passing around [her]_81-ruth -- so hushed and strange were the tones of [her]_81-ruth voice . [They]_{2406-her pupils} had letters from [home]_4124-home announcing the triumphant return of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} as M.P. for [Eccleston]_36-eccleston . [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} heard the news without a word , and was too languid to join in the search after purple and yellow flowers with which to deck [the sitting - room at [Eagle 's Crag]_{57-the eagle 's crag pew}]_{5850-the sitting - room at eagle 's crag} . A letter from [Jemima]_217-jemima came the next day , summoning [them]_{2406-her pupils} [home]_4124-home . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} and [[his]_{225-mr donne} friends]_{4517-his friends} had left [the place]_{444-the place} , and quiet was restored in [the Bradshaw household]_{2831-the bradshaw household} ; so it was time that [Mary]_118-mary 's and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} 's holiday should cease . [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} had also a letter -- a letter from [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , saying that [Leonard]_104-leonard was not quite well . There was so much pains taken to disguise anxiety , that it was very evident much anxiety was felt ; and [the girls]_{414-the girls} were almost alarmed by [Ruth]_81-ruth 's sudden change from taciturn langour to eager , vehement energy . Body and mind seemed strained to exertion . Every plan that could facilitate packing and winding - up affairs at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth , every errand and arrangement that could expedite [their]_{414-the girls} departure by one minute , was done by [Ruth]_81-ruth with stern promptitude . [She]_81-ruth spared [herself]_81-ruth in nothing . [She]_81-ruth made [them]_{414-the girls} rest , made [them]_{414-the girls} lie down , while [she]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth lifted weights and transacted business with feverish power , never resting , and trying never to have time to think . For in remembrance of the Past there was [Remorse,--how]_{239-remorse,--how} had [she]_81-ruth forgotten [Leonard]_104-leonard these last few days!--how had [she]_81-ruth repined and been dull of heart to [her]_81-ruth blessing ! And in anticipation of the Future there was one sharp point of red light in the darkness which pierced [her]_81-ruth brain with agony , and which [she]_81-ruth would not see or recognise -- and saw and recognised all the more for such mad determination -- which is not the true shield against the bitterness of the arrows of Death . When [the seaside party]_{5856-the seaside party} arrived in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , [they]_{5856-the seaside party} were met by [Mrs and Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . By a firm resolution , [Ruth]_81-ruth kept from shaping the question , "_[0-i] Is [he]_3058-he alive ? " as if by giving shape to [her]_81-ruth fears [she]_81-ruth made [their]_{5856-the seaside party} realisation more imminent . [She]_81-ruth said merely , "_[3058-he] How is [he]_3058-he ? " but [she]_81-ruth said it with drawn , tight , bloodless lips , and in [her]_81-ruth eyes [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} read [her]_81-ruth anguish of anxiety . "_[3058-he] [He]_3058-he is very ill , but [we]_3059-we hope [he]_3058-he will soon be better . It is what [every child]_{3060-every child} has to go through . " CHAPTER XXV [Jemima]_217-jemima Makes a Discovery [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been successful in carrying [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} point . [[His]_{149-mr bradshaw} member]_{2825-his member} had been returned ; [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} proud opponents]_{5858-his proud opponents} mortified . So [the public]_{5859-the public} thought [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} ought to be well pleased ; but [the public]_{5859-the public} were disappointed to see that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not show any of the gratification [they]_{5859-the public} supposed [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} to feel . The truth was , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had met with so many small mortifications during the progress of the election , that the pleasure which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would otherwise have felt in the final success of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} scheme was much diminished . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} had more than tacitly sanctioned bribery ; and now that the excitement was over , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} regretted it ; not entirely from conscientious motives , though [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was uneasy from a slight sense of wrong - doing ; but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was more pained , after all , to think that , in the eyes of [some of [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} townsmen]_{5862-his townsmen}]_{5861-some of his townsmen} , [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} hitherto spotless character had received a blemish . [[He]_{149-mr bradshaw} , who had been so stern and severe a censor on the undue influence exercised by [the opposite party in all preceding elections]_{5864-the opposite party in all preceding elections} , could not expect to be spared by [[their]_{5861-some of his townsmen} adherents]_{5865-their adherents} now , when there were rumours that the hands of [the scrupulous Dissenters]_{5866-the scrupulous dissenters}]_{5863-he , who had been so stern and severe a censor on the undue influence exercised by the opposite party in all preceding elections , could not expect to be spared by their adherents now , when there were rumours that the hands of the scrupulous dissenters} were not clean . Before , it had been [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} boast that [neither friend]_{5867-neither friend} nor [enemy]_5868-enemy could say one word against [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; now , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was constantly afraid of an indictment for bribery , and of being compelled to appear before [a Committee]_{5869-a committee} to swear to [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own share in the business . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} uneasy , fearful consciousness made [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} stricter and sterner than ever ; as if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would quench all wondering , slanderous talk about [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} in [the town]_{396-the town} by a renewed austerity of uprightness ; that [the slack - principled Mr Bradshaw of one month of ferment and excitement]_{5871-the slack - principled mr bradshaw of one month of ferment and excitement} might not be confounded with [the highly - conscientious and deeply - religious [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , who went to [chapel]_1864-chapel twice a day , and gave a hundred pounds a - piece to every charity in [the town]_{396-the town}]_{5872-the highly - conscientious and deeply - religious mr bradshaw , who went to chapel twice a day , and gave a hundred pounds a - piece to every charity in the town} , as a sort of thank - offering that [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} end was gained . But [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was secretly dissatisfied with [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . In general , [that gentleman]_{5711-that gentleman} had been rather too willing to act in accordance with [any one]_{425-any one} 's advice , no matter whose ; as if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had thought it too much trouble to weigh the wisdom of [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} friends]_{4517-his friends} , in which case [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's would have , doubtless , proved the most valuable . But now and then [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} unexpectedly , and utterly without reason , took the conduct of affairs into [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own hands , as when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been absent without leave only just before the day of nomination . [No one]_{517-no one} guessed whither [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had gone ; but the fact of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} being gone was enough to chagrin [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , who was quite ready to pick a quarrel on this very head , if the election had not terminated favourably . As it was , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had a feeling of proprietorship in [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} which was not disagreeable . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} had given [the new M.P.]_{5879-the new m.p.} [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} seat ; [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} resolution , [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} promptitude , [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} energy , had made [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} "_{[3062-our member]} [[our]_3061-our member]_{3062-our member} ; " and [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} began to feel proud of [him]_{225-mr donne} accordingly . But there had been [no one circumstance during this period]_{5880-no one circumstance during this period} to bind [Jemima]_217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} together . [They]_5881-they were still misunderstanding [each other]_{579-each other} with all [their]_5881-they power . The difference in the result was this : [Jemima]_217-jemima loved [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} all the more , in spite of quarrels and coolness . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was growing utterly weary of the petulant temper of which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was never certain ; of the reception which varied day after day , according to the mood [she]_217-jemima was in and the thoughts that were uppermost ; and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was almost startled to find how very glad [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was that [the little girls]_{2551-the little girls} and [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} were coming [home]_4124-home . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [a character to bask in peace]_{5885-a character to bask in peace} ; and lovely , quiet [Ruth]_81-ruth , with [her]_81-ruth low tones and quiet replies , [her]_81-ruth delicate waving movements , appeared to [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} the very type of what [a woman]_{834-a woman} should be -- [a calm , serene soul , fashioning the body to angelic grace]_{5887-a calm , serene soul , fashioning the body to angelic grace} . It was , therefore , with no slight interest that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} inquired daily after the health of [little Leonard]_104-leonard . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} asked at [[the Bensons]_{5888-the bensons} ' house]_{1786-the bensons ' house} ; and [Sally]_148-sally answered [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , with swollen and tearful eyes , that [the child]_{565-the child} was very bad -- very bad indeed . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} asked at [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} 's ; and [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} told [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , in a few short words , that "_{[3062-our member]} it was only a bad kind of measles , and that [the lad]_{4193-the lad} might have a struggle for it , but [he]_{4193-the lad} thought [he]_{4193-the lad} would get through . [Vigorous children]_{3064-vigorous children} carried [their]_{3064-vigorous children} force into everything ; never did things by halves ; if [they]_{3064-vigorous children} were ill , [they]_{3064-vigorous children} were sure to be in a high fever directly ; if [they]_{3064-vigorous children} were well , there was no peace in [the house]_{426-the house} for [their]_{3064-vigorous children} rioting . For [his]_{4193-the lad} part , " continued [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} , "_{[4193-the lad]} [he]_{4193-the lad} thought [he]_{4193-the lad} was glad [he]_{4193-the lad} had had [no children]_{3066-no children} ; as far as [he]_{4193-the lad} could judge , [they]_{3066-no children} were pretty much all plague and no profit . " But as [he]_{4193-the lad} ended [his]_{4193-the lad} speech [he]_{4193-the lad} sighed ; and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was none the less convinced that common report was true , which represented [the clever , prosperous surgeon of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{5894-the clever , prosperous surgeon of eccleston} as bitterly disappointed at [his]_{4193-the lad} failure of offspring . While these various interests and feelings had [their]_{3066-no children} course outside [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house} , within there was but one thought which possessed all [the inmates]_{5896-the inmates} . When [Sally]_148-sally was not cooking for [the little invalid]_{5897-the little invalid} , [she]_148-sally was crying ; for [she]_148-sally had had a dream about green rushes , not three months ago , which , by some queer process of oneiromancy [she]_148-sally interpreted to mean the death of [a child]_{556-a child} ; and all [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's endeavours were directed to making [her]_148-sally keep silence to [Ruth]_81-ruth about this dream . [Sally]_148-sally thought that [the mother]_{618-the mother} ought to be told ; what were dreams sent for but for warnings ? But it was just like [a pack of Dissenters]_{5900-a pack of dissenters} , who would not believe anything like [other folks]_{4835-other folks} . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was too much accustomed to [Sally]_148-sally 's contempt for [Dissenters]_{5003-dissenters} , as viewed from the pinnacle of [the Establishment]_{2948-the establishment} , to pay much attention to all this grumbling ; especially as [Sally]_148-sally was willing to take as much trouble about [Leonard]_104-leonard as if [she]_148-sally believed [he]_104-leonard was going to live , and that [his]_104-leonard recovery depended upon [her]_148-sally care . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's great object was to keep [her]_148-sally from having any confidential talks with [Ruth]_81-ruth ; as if any repetition of the dream could have deepened the conviction in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's mind that [the child]_{565-the child} would die . It seemed to [her]_148-sally that [his]_104-leonard death would only be the fitting punishment for the state of indifference towards [him]_104-leonard -- towards life and death -- towards all things earthly or divine , into which [she]_148-sally had suffered [herself]_148-sally to fall since [her]_148-sally last interview with [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . [She]_148-sally did not understand that such exhaustion is but the natural consequence of violent agitation and severe tension of feeling . The only relief [she]_148-sally experienced was in constantly serving [Leonard]_104-leonard ; [she]_148-sally had almost an animal 's jealousy lest any one should come between [her]_148-sally and [[her]_148-sally young]_{2107-her young} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw this jealous suspicion , although [he]_{143-mr benson} could hardly understand it ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} calmed [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's wonder and officious kindness , so that [the two]_{1675-the two} patiently and quietly provided all that [Ruth]_81-ruth might want , but did not interfere with [her]_81-ruth right to nurse [Leonard]_104-leonard . But when [he]_104-leonard was recovering , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , with the slight tone of authority [he]_{143-mr benson} knew how to assume when need was , bade [Ruth]_81-ruth lie down and take some rest , while [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} watched . [Ruth]_81-ruth did not answer , but obeyed in a dull , weary kind of surprise at being so commanded . [She]_81-ruth lay down by [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} , gazing [her]_81-ruth fill at [his]_104-leonard calm slumber ; and as [she]_81-ruth gazed , [her]_81-ruth large white eyelids were softly pressed down as with a gentle irresistible weight , and [she]_81-ruth fell asleep . [She]_81-ruth dreamed that [she]_81-ruth was once more on [the lonely shore]_{5910-the lonely shore} , striving to carry [Leonard]_104-leonard away from [some pursuer]_{5911-some pursuer} -- [some human pursuer]_{5912-some human pursuer} -- [she]_81-ruth knew [he]_104-leonard was human , and [she]_81-ruth knew who [he]_104-leonard was , although [she]_81-ruth dared not say [his]_104-leonard name even to [herself]_81-ruth , [he]_104-leonard seemed so close and present , gaining on [her]_81-ruth flying footsteps , rushing after [her]_81-ruth as with the sound of the roaring tide . [Her]_81-ruth feet seemed heavy weights fixed to the ground ; they would not move . All at once , just near [the shore]_{5805-the shore} , a great black whirlwind of waves clutched [her]_81-ruth back to [[her]_81-ruth pursuer]_{5914-her pursuer} ; [she]_81-ruth threw [Leonard]_104-leonard on to [land]_5915-land , which was safety ; but whether [he]_104-leonard reached it or no , or was swept back like [her]_81-ruth into a mysterious something too dreadful to be borne , [she]_81-ruth did not know , for the terror awakened [her]_81-ruth . At first the dream seemed yet a reality , and [she]_81-ruth thought that [the pursuer]_{5916-the pursuer} was couched even there , in [that very room]_{5917-that very room} , and the great boom of [the sea]_{549-the sea} was still in [her]_81-ruth ears . But as full consciousness returned , [she]_81-ruth saw [herself]_81-ruth safe in [the dear old room]_{5919-the dear old room} -- [the haven of rest]_{5920-the haven of rest} -- the shelter from storms . A bright fire was glowing in the little old - fashioned , cup - shaped grate , niched into a corner of the wall , and guarded on either side by whitewashed bricks , which rested on hobs . On one of these the kettle hummed and buzzed , within two points of boiling whenever [she]_81-ruth or [Leonard]_104-leonard required tea . In [her]_81-ruth dream that [home]_4124-home - like sound had been the roaring of [the relentless sea]_{5922-the relentless sea} , creeping swiftly on to seize its prey . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} sat by the fire , motionless and still ; it was too dark to read any longer without a candle ; but yet on the ceiling and upper part of the walls the golden light of the setting sun was slowly moving -- so slow , and yet a motion gives the feeling of rest to the weary yet more than perfect stillness . The old clock on the staircase told its monotonous click - clack , in that soothing way which more marked the quiet of [the house]_{426-the house} than disturbed with any sense of sound . [Leonard]_104-leonard still slept that renovating slumber , almost in [her]_81-ruth arms , far from [that fatal pursuing sea]_{5924-that fatal pursuing sea} , with its human form of cruelty . The dream was a vision ; the reality which prompted the dream was over and past -- [Leonard]_104-leonard was safe -- [she]_81-ruth was safe ; all this loosened the frozen springs , and they gushed forth in [her]_81-ruth heart , and [her]_81-ruth lips moved in accordance with [her]_81-ruth thoughts . "_[3067-you] What were [you]_3067-you saying , [[my]_0-i darling]_{4347-my darling} ? " said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} [, who caught sight of the motion]_{5925-, who caught sight of the motion} , and fancied [she]_3067-you was asking for something . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} bent over the side of the bed on which [Ruth]_81-ruth lay , to catch the low tones of [her]_3067-you voice . "_[3067-you] [I]_0-i only said , " replied [Ruth]_81-ruth , timidly , "_[3067-you] thank [God]_104-leonard ! [I]_0-i have so much to thank [Him]_3069-him for , [you]_104-leonard do n't know . " "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{4145-my dear} , [I]_0-i am sure [we]_3071-we have all of [us]_3071-we cause to be thankful that [[our]_3071-we boy]_{3072-our boy} is spared . See ! [he]_3069-him is wakening up ; and [we]_3071-we will have a cup of tea together . " [Leonard]_104-leonard strode on to perfect health ; but [he]_104-leonard was made older in character and looks by [his]_104-leonard severe illness . [He]_104-leonard grew tall and thin , and [the lovely child]_{5926-the lovely child} was lost in [the handsome boy]_{5927-the handsome boy} . [He]_104-leonard began to wonder , and to question . [Ruth]_81-ruth mourned a little over the vanished babyhood , when [she]_81-ruth was all in all , and over the childhood , whose petals had fallen away ; it seemed as though [two of [[her]_81-ruth children]_{2362-her children}]_{5928-two of her children} were gone -- [the one]_{5930-the one} [an infant]_{5931-an infant} , [the other]_{380-the other} [a bright , thoughtless darling]_{5933-a bright , thoughtless darling} ; and [she]_81-ruth wished that [they]_{5928-two of her children} could have remained quick in [her]_81-ruth memory for ever , instead of being absorbed in loving pride for [the present boy]_{5934-the present boy} . But these were only fanciful regrets , flitting like shadows across a mirror . Peace and thankfulness were once more the atmosphere of [her]_81-ruth mind ; nor was [her]_81-ruth unconsciousness disturbed by any suspicion of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's increasing approbation and admiration , which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was diligently nursing up into love for [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth knew that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had sent -- [she]_81-ruth did not know how often [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had brought -- fruit for [the convalescent Leonard]_104-leonard . [She]_81-ruth heard , on [her]_81-ruth return from [her]_81-ruth daily employment , that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had brought a little gentle pony on which [Leonard]_104-leonard , weak as [he]_104-leonard was , might ride . To confess the truth , [her]_81-ruth maternal pride was such that [she]_81-ruth thought that all kindness shown to such [a boy]_{1510-a boy} as [Leonard]_104-leonard was but natural ; [she]_81-ruth believed [him]_{1510-a boy} to be [A child whom all that looked on , loved . As in truth]_{5936-a child whom all that looked on , loved . as in truth} [he]_{1510-a boy} was ; and the proof of this was daily shown in many kind inquiries , and many thoughtful little offerings , besides [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's . [The poor]_{497-the poor} ( warm and kind of heart to all sorrow common to humanity ) were touched with pity for [the young widow , whose only child lay ill , and nigh unto death]_{5938-the young widow , whose only child lay ill , and nigh unto death} . [They]_{497-the poor} brought what [they]_{497-the poor} could -- a fresh egg , when eggs were scarce -- a few ripe pears that grew on the sunniest side of [the humblest cottage , where the fruit was regarded as a source of income]_{5939-the humblest cottage , where the fruit was regarded as a source of income} -- a call of inquiry , and a prayer that [God]_104-leonard would spare [the child]_{565-the child} , from [an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag [herself]_{5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house} so far as [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house}]_{5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house} , yet felt [her]_{5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house} worn and weary heart stirred with a sharp pang of sympathy , and a very present remembrance of the time when [she]_{5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house} too was young , and saw the life - breath quiver out of [[her]_{5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house} child]_{631-her child} , now an angel in that heaven which felt more like home to [the desolate old creature than [this empty earth]_{5945-this empty earth}]_{5944-the desolate old creature than this empty earth} . To all such , when [Leonard]_104-leonard was better , [Ruth]_81-ruth went , and thanked [them]_{497-the poor} from [her]_81-ruth heart . [She]_81-ruth and [the old cripple]_{5946-the old cripple} sat hand in hand over the scanty fire on the hearth of [the latter]_{1745-the latter} , while [she]_81-ruth told in solemn , broken , homely words , how [[her]_{5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house} child]_{631-her child} sickened and died . Tears fell like rain down [Ruth]_81-ruth 's cheeks ; but those of [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} were dry . All tears had been wept out of [her]_81-ruth long ago , and now [she]_81-ruth sat patient and quiet , waiting for death . But after this , [Ruth]_81-ruth "_[3073-i] clave unto [her]_3073-i , " and [the two]_{1675-the two} were henceforward [a pair of friends]_{5951-a pair of friends} . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was only included in the general gratitude which [she]_81-ruth felt towards [all who had been kind to [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy}]_{5952-all who had been kind to her boy} . The winter passed away in deep peace after the storms of the autumn , yet every now and then a feeling of insecurity made [Ruth]_81-ruth shake for an instant . Those wild autumnal storms had torn aside the quiet flowers and herbage that had gathered over the wreck of [her]_81-ruth early life , and shown [her]_81-ruth that all deeds , however hidden and long passed by , have their eternal consequences . [She]_81-ruth turned sick and faint whenever [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's name was casually mentioned . [No one]_{517-no one} saw it ; but [she]_81-ruth felt the miserable stop in [her]_81-ruth heart 's beating , and wished that [she]_81-ruth could prevent it by any exercise of self - command . [She]_81-ruth had never named [his]_{225-mr donne} identity with [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , nor had [she]_81-ruth spoken about the seaside interview . Deep shame made [her]_81-ruth silent and reserved on all [her]_81-ruth life before [Leonard]_104-leonard 's birth ; from that time [she]_81-ruth rose again in [her]_81-ruth self - respect , and spoke as openly as [a child]_{556-a child} ( when need was ) of all occurrences which had taken place since then ; except that [she]_81-ruth could not , and would not , tell of this mocking echo , this haunting phantom , this past , that would not rest in its grave . The very circumstance that it was stalking abroad in [the world]_{506-the world} , and might reappear at any moment , made [her]_81-ruth a coward : [she]_81-ruth trembled away from contemplating what the reality had been ; only [she]_81-ruth clung more faithfully than before to the thought of [the great God]_{5957-the great god} , who was a rock in [the dreary land]_{5958-the dreary land} , where no shadow was . Autumn and winter , with [their]_5959-their lowering skies , were less dreary than the woeful , desolate feelings that shed a gloom on [Jemima]_217-jemima . [She]_81-ruth found too late that [she]_81-ruth had considered [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} so securely [her]_81-ruth own for so long a time , that [her]_81-ruth heart refused to recognise [him]_{193-mr farquhar} as lost to [her]_81-ruth , unless [her]_81-ruth reason went through the same weary , convincing , miserable evidence day after day , and hour after hour . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} never spoke to [her]_81-ruth now , except from common civility . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} never cared for [her]_81-ruth contradictions ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} never tried , with patient perseverance , to bring [her]_81-ruth over to [his]_{193-mr farquhar} opinions ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} never used the wonted wiles ( so tenderly remembered now they had no existence but in memory ) to bring [her]_81-ruth round out of some wilful mood -- and such moods were common enough now ! Frequently [she]_81-ruth was sullenly indifferent to the feelings of [others]_368-others -- not from any unkindness , but because [her]_81-ruth heart seemed numb and stony , and incapable of sympathy . Then afterwards [her]_81-ruth self - reproach was terrible -- in the dead of night , when [no one]_{517-no one} saw it . With a strange perversity , the only intelligence [she]_81-ruth cared to hear , the only sights [she]_81-ruth cared to see , were the circumstances which gave confirmation to the idea that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was thinking of [Ruth]_81-ruth for [a wife]_{5327-a wife} . [She]_81-ruth craved with stinging curiosity to hear something of [their]_5963-their affairs every day ; partly because the torture which such intelligence gave was almost a relief from the deadness of [her]_81-ruth heart to all other interests . And so spring ( _ gioventu dell'anno _ ) came back to [her]_81-ruth , bringing all the contrasts which spring alone can bring to add to the heaviness of the soul . The little winged creatures filled the air with bursts of joy ; the vegetation came bright and hopefully onwards , without any check of nipping frost . The ash - trees in [[the Bradshaws]_{206-the bradshaws} ' garden]_{5964-the bradshaws ' garden} were out in leaf by the middle of May , which that year wore more the aspect of summer than most Junes do . The sunny weather mocked [Jemima]_217-jemima , and the unusual warmth oppressed [her]_217-jemima physical powers . [She]_81-ruth felt very weak and languid ; [she]_81-ruth was acutely sensible that [no one else]_{1707-no one else} noticed [her]_81-ruth want of strength ; [father]_4711-father , [mother]_4127-mother , all seemed too full of other things to care if , as [she]_81-ruth believed , [her]_81-ruth life was waning . [She]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth felt glad that it was so . But [her]_81-ruth delicacy was not unnoticed by all . [[Her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} often anxiously asked [[her]_{710-her mother} husband]_{730-her husband} if [he]_{730-her husband} did not think [Jemima]_217-jemima was looking ill ; nor did [his]_{730-her husband} affirmation to the contrary satisfy [her]_{710-her mother} , as most of [his]_{730-her husband} affirmations did . [She]_{710-her mother} thought every morning , before [she]_{710-her mother} got up , how [she]_{710-her mother} could tempt [Jemima]_217-jemima to eat , by ordering some favourite dainty for dinner ; in many other little ways [she]_{710-her mother} tried to minister to [[her]_{710-her mother} child]_{631-her child} ; but [the poor girl]_{1183-the poor girl} 's own abrupt irritability of temper had made [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} afraid of openly speaking to [her]_81-ruth about [her]_81-ruth health . [Ruth]_81-ruth , too , saw that [Jemima]_217-jemima was not looking well . How [she]_81-ruth had become an object of dislike to [[her]_81-ruth former friend]_{5973-her former friend} [she]_81-ruth did not know ; but [she]_81-ruth was sensible that [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} disliked [her]_81-ruth now . [She]_81-ruth was not aware that this feeling was growing and strengthening almost into repugnance , for [she]_81-ruth seldom saw [Jemima]_217-jemima out of school - hours , and then only for a minute or two . But the evil element of [a fellow - creature]_{5974-a fellow - creature} 's dislike oppressed the atmosphere of [her]_81-ruth life . [That fellow - creature]_{5975-that fellow - creature} was one who had once loved [her]_81-ruth so fondly , and whom [she]_81-ruth still loved , although [she]_81-ruth had learnt to fear [her]_81-ruth , as [we]_5976-we fear [those whose faces cloud over when we come in sight -- who cast unloving glances at us , of which we , though not seeing , are conscious , as of some occult influence]_{5977-those whose faces cloud over when we come in sight -- who cast unloving glances at us , of which we , though not seeing , are conscious , as of some occult influence} ; and the cause of whose dislike is unknown to [us]_5976-we , though every word and action seems to increase it . [I]_3073-i believe that this sort of dislike is only shown by the jealous , and that it renders [the disliker]_{5978-the disliker} even more miserable , because more continually conscious than the object ; but the growing evidence of [Jemima]_217-jemima 's feeling made [Ruth]_81-ruth very unhappy at times . This very May , too , an idea had come into [her]_81-ruth mind , which [she]_81-ruth had tried to repress -- namely , that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was in love with [her]_81-ruth . It annoyed [her]_81-ruth extremely ; it made [her]_81-ruth reproach [herself]_81-ruth that [she]_81-ruth ever should think such a thing possible . [She]_81-ruth tried to strangle the notion , to drown it , to starve it out by neglect -- its existence caused [her]_81-ruth such pain and distress . The worst was , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had won [Leonard]_104-leonard 's heart , who was constantly seeking [him]_{193-mr farquhar} out ; or , when absent , talking about [him]_{193-mr farquhar} . The best was some journey connected with business , which would take [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to [the Continent]_{42-the continent} for several weeks ; and , during that time , surely this disagreeable fancy of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} would die away , if untrue ; and if true , some way would be opened by which [she]_81-ruth might put a stop to all increase of predilection on [his]_{193-mr farquhar} part , and yet retain [him]_{193-mr farquhar} as a friend for [Leonard]_104-leonard -- that darling for whom [she]_81-ruth was far - seeing and covetous , and [miserly of every scrap of love and kindly regard]_{5979-miserly of every scrap of love and kindly regard} . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} would not have been flattered if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had known how much [his]_{193-mr farquhar} departure contributed to [Ruth]_81-ruth 's rest of mind on the Saturday afternoon on which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} set out on [his]_{193-mr farquhar} journey . It was a beautiful day ; the sky of that intense quivering blue which seemed as though [you]_5980-you could look through it for ever , yet not reach [the black , infinite space which is suggested as lying beyond]_{5981-the black , infinite space which is suggested as lying beyond} . Now and then a thin , torn , vaporous cloud floated slowly within the vaulted depth ; but the soft air that gently wafted it was not perceptible among the leaves on the trees , which did not even tremble . [Ruth]_81-ruth sat at [her]_81-ruth work in the shadow formed by [the old grey garden wall]_{5982-the old grey garden wall} ; [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Sally]_148-sally -- [the one in the parlour window - seat mending stockings]_{5983-the one in the parlour window - seat mending stockings} , the other hard at work in [[her]_81-ruth kitchen]_{1778-her kitchen} -- were both within talking distance , for it was weather for open doors and windows ; but none of [the three]_{5985-the three} kept up any continued conversation ; and in the intervals [Ruth]_81-ruth sang low a brooding song , such as [she]_81-ruth remembered [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} singing long ago . Now and then [she]_81-ruth stopped to look at [Leonard]_104-leonard , who was labouring away with vehement energy at digging over [a small plot of ground]_{5987-a small plot of ground} , where [he]_104-leonard meant to prick out some celery plants that had been given to [him]_104-leonard . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's heart warmed at the earnest , spirited way in which [he]_104-leonard thrust [his]_104-leonard large spade deep down into the brown soil , [his]_104-leonard ruddy face glowing , [his]_104-leonard curly hair wet with the exertion ; and yet [she]_81-ruth sighed to think that the days were over when [her]_81-ruth deeds of skill could give [him]_104-leonard pleasure . Now , [his]_104-leonard delight was in acting [himself]_104-leonard ; last year , not fourteen months ago , [he]_104-leonard had watched [her]_81-ruth making a daisy - chain for [him]_104-leonard , as if [he]_104-leonard could not admire [her]_81-ruth cleverness enough ; this year -- this week , when [she]_81-ruth had been devoting every spare hour to the simple tailoring which [she]_81-ruth performed for [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} ( [she]_81-ruth had always made every article [he]_104-leonard wore , and felt almost jealous of the employment ) , [he]_104-leonard had come to [her]_81-ruth with a wistful look , and asked when [he]_104-leonard might begin to have clothes made by [a man]_{650-a man} ? Ever since the Wednesday when [she]_81-ruth had accompanied [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , at [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's desire , to be measured for spring clothes by [the new Eccleston dressmaker]_{5990-the new eccleston dressmaker} , [she]_81-ruth had been looking forward to this Saturday afternoon 's pleasure of making summer trousers for [Leonard]_104-leonard ; but the satisfaction of the employment was a little taken away by [Leonard]_104-leonard 's speech . It was a sign , however , that [her]_81-ruth life was very quiet and peaceful , that [she]_81-ruth had leisure to think upon the thing at all ; and often [she]_81-ruth forgot it entirely in [her]_81-ruth low , chanting song , or in listening to the thrush warbling out [his]_104-leonard afternoon ditty to [[his]_104-leonard patient mate]_{5991-his patient mate} in the holly - bush below . The distant rumble of [carts]_5992-carts through [the busy streets]_{5993-the busy streets} ( it was market - day ) not only formed a low rolling bass to the nearer and pleasanter sounds , but enhanced the sense of peace by the suggestion of the contrast afforded to the repose of [the garden]_{783-the garden} by the bustle not far off . But besides physical din and bustle , there is mental strife and turmoil . That afternoon , as [Jemima]_217-jemima was restlessly wandering about [the house]_{426-the house} , [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} desired [her]_217-jemima to go on an errand to [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} 's , [the new dressmaker]_{5997-the new dressmaker} , in order to give some directions about [[her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} ' new frocks . [Jemima]_217-jemima went , rather than have the trouble of resisting ; or else [she]_217-jemima would have preferred staying at [home]_4124-home , moving or being outwardly quiet according to [her]_217-jemima own fitful will . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , who , as [I]_3073-i have said , had been aware for some time that something was wrong with [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} daughter]_{633-her daughter} , and was very anxious to set it to rights if [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} only knew how , had rather planned this errand with a view to dispel [Jemima]_217-jemima 's melancholy . "_[3073-i] And , [Mimie]_208-mimie , [dear]_4155-dear , " said [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} , "_[208-mimie] when [you]_4155-dear are [there]_332-there , look out for a new bonnet for [yourself]_4155-dear ; [she]_3076-she has got some very pretty ones , and [your]_4155-dear old one is so shabby . " "_{[4127-mother]} It does for [me]_0-i , [mother]_4127-mother , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , heavily . "_{[4127-mother]} [I]_0-i do n't want a new bonnet . " "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i want [you]_208-mimie to have one , [[my]_0-i lassie]_{3078-my lassie} . [I]_0-i want [[my]_0-i girl]_{3079-my girl} to look well and nice . " There was something of homely tenderness in [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's tone that touched [Jemima]_217-jemima 's heart . [She]_217-jemima went to [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} , and kissed [her]_{710-her mother} with more of affection than [she]_217-jemima had shown to [any one]_{425-any one} for weeks before ; and the kiss was returned with warm fondness . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [you]_4127-mother love [me]_0-i , [mother]_4127-mother , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima . "_{[4127-mother]} [We]_3081-we all love [you]_208-mimie , [dear]_4155-dear , if [you]_208-mimie would but think so . And if [you]_208-mimie want anything , or wish for anything , only tell [me]_0-i , and with a little patience [I]_0-i can get [[your]_208-mimie father]_{5319-your father} to give it [you]_208-mimie , [I]_0-i know . Only be happy , there 's [a good girl]_{4553-a good girl} . " "_{[4553-a good girl]} Be happy ! as if [one]_321-one could by an effort of will ! " thought [Jemima]_217-jemima , as [she]_217-jemima went along [the street]_{347-the street} , too absorbed in [herself]_217-jemima to notice the bows of [acquaintances]_{6005-acquaintances} and [friends]_678-friends , but instinctively guiding [herself]_217-jemima right among the throng and press of carts , and gigs , and [market people in [High Street]_{60-high street}]_{6007-market people in high street} . But [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} 's tones and looks , with their comforting power , remained longer in [her]_217-jemima recollection than the inconsistency of any words spoken . When [she]_217-jemima had completed [her]_217-jemima errand about the frocks , [she]_217-jemima asked to look at some bonnets , in order to show [her]_217-jemima recognition of [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} 's kind thought . [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} was [a smart , clever - looking woman of five or six and thirty]_{6010-a smart , clever - looking woman of five or six and thirty} . [She]_{240-mrs pearson} had all the variety of small - talk at [her]_{240-mrs pearson} finger - ends that was formerly needed by [barbers]_6011-barbers to amuse [the people who came to be shaved]_{6012-the people who came to be shaved} . [She]_{240-mrs pearson} had admired [the town]_{396-the town} till [Jemima]_217-jemima was weary of [its]_{396-the town} praises , sick and oppressed by [its]_{396-the town} sameness , as [she]_217-jemima had been these many weeks . "_[321-one] Here are some bonnets , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , that will be just the thing for [you]_4148-ma'am -- elegant and tasty , yet quite of the simple style , suitable to [young ladies]_{4121-young ladies} . Oblige [me]_0-i by trying on this white silk ! " [Jemima]_217-jemima looked at [herself]_217-jemima in the glass ; [she]_217-jemima was obliged to own it was very becoming , and perhaps not the less so for the flush of modest shame which came into [her]_217-jemima cheeks as [she]_217-jemima heard [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} 's open praises of the "_[4148-ma'am] rich , beautiful hair , " and the "_[4148-ma'am] Oriental eyes " of [the wearer]_{6014-the wearer} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i induced [the young lady who accompanied [[your]_4148-ma'am sisters]_{3089-your sisters} the other day]_{3088-the young lady who accompanied your sisters the other day} -- [the governess]_{5644-the governess} , is [she]_{3088-the young lady who accompanied your sisters the other day} , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am ? " "_{[3088-the young lady who accompanied your sisters the other day]} Yes -- [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} is [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} name , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , clouding over . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Thank [you]_4148-ma'am , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am . Well , [I]_0-i persuaded [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} to try on that bonnet , and [you]_4148-ma'am ca n't think how charming [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} looked in it ; and yet [I]_0-i do n't think it became [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} as much as it does [you]_4148-ma'am . " "_[4148-ma'am] [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} is very beautiful , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , taking off the bonnet , and not much inclined to try on any other . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Very , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am . Quite a peculiar style of beauty . If [I]_0-i might be allowed , [I]_0-i should say that [hers]_{156-mrs denbigh} was a Grecian style of loveliness , while [yours]_3094-yours was [Oriental]_241-oriental . [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} reminded [me]_0-i of [a young person [I]_0-i once knew in [Fordham]_27-fordham]_{3095-a young person i once knew in fordham} . " [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} sighed an audible sigh . "_{[3095-a young person i once knew in fordham]} In [Fordham]_27-fordham ! " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , remembering that [Ruth]_81-ruth had once spoken of [the place]_{444-the place} as one in which [she]_81-ruth had spent some time , while [the county in which]_{6016-the county in which} [it]_{444-the place} was situated was the same in which [Ruth]_81-ruth was born . "_{[3095-a young person i once knew in fordham]} In [Fordham]_27-fordham ! Why , [I]_0-i think [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} comes from [that neighbourhood]_{3096-that neighbourhood} . " "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Oh , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am ! [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} can not be [the young person [I]_0-i mean]_{3098-the young person i mean} -- [I]_0-i am sure , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am -- holding the position [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} does in [[your]_4148-ma'am establishment]_{3100-your establishment} . [I]_0-i should hardly say [I]_0-i knew [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} [myself]_0-i ; for [I]_0-i only saw [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} two or three times at [[[my]_0-i sister]_{5054-my sister} 's house]_{3102-my sister 's house} ; but [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} was so remarked for [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} beauty , that [I]_0-i remember [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} face quite well -- the more so , on account of [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} vicious conduct afterwards . " "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} [Her]_{156-mrs denbigh} vicious conduct ! " repeated [Jemima]_217-jemima , convinced by these words that there could be no identity between [Ruth]_81-ruth and [the "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} young person]_{6017-the " young person} " alluded to . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Then it could not have been [our]_3103-our [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . " "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Oh , no , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am ! [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i should be sorry to be understood to have suggested anything of the kind . [I]_0-i beg [your]_4148-ma'am pardon if [I]_0-i did so . All [I]_0-i meant to say -- and perhaps that was a liberty [I]_0-i ought not to have taken , considering what [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth was-- " "_[81-ruth] [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth ! " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , turning suddenly round , and facing [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} . "_[81-ruth] Yes , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , that was the name of [the young person]_{4628-the young person} [I]_0-i allude to . " "_{[4628-the young person]} Tell [me]_0-i about [her]_81-ruth -- what did [she]_81-ruth do ? " asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , subduing [her]_217-jemima eagerness of tone and look as best [she]_217-jemima might , but trembling as on the verge of some strange discovery . "_[81-ruth] [I]_0-i do n't know whether [I]_0-i ought to tell [you]_4148-ma'am , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am -- it is hardly a fit story for [a young lady]_{3108-a young lady} ; but [this Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth was [an apprentice to [[my]_0-i sister - in - law , who had a first - rate business in [Fordham]_27-fordham , which brought [her]_81-ruth a good deal of patronage from [the county families]_{3111-the county families}]_{3110-my sister - in - law , who had a first - rate business in fordham , which brought her a good deal of patronage from the county families}]_{3109-an apprentice to my sister - in - law , who had a first - rate business in fordham , which brought her a good deal of patronage from the county families} ; and [this young creature]_{4692-this young creature} was very artful and bold , and thought sadly too much of [her]_{4692-this young creature} beauty ; and , somehow , [she]_{4692-this young creature} beguiled [a young gentleman]_{3113-a young gentleman} , who took [her]_{4692-this young creature} into keeping ( [I]_0-i am sure , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [I]_0-i ought to apologise for polluting [your]_4148-ma'am ears-- ) " "_{[3113-a young gentleman]} Go on , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , breathlessly . "_{[3113-a young gentleman]} [I]_0-i do n't know much more . [[His]_{3113-a young gentleman} mother]_{655-his mother} followed [him]_{3113-a young gentleman} into [Wales]_22-wales . [She]_{655-his mother} was [a lady of a great deal of religion]_{3116-a lady of a great deal of religion} , and of [a very old family]_{3117-a very old family} , and was much shocked at [[her]_{655-his mother} son]_{990-her son} 's misfortune in being captivated by [such a person]_{3119-such a person} ; but [she]_{655-his mother} led [him]_{3113-a young gentleman} to repentance , and took [him]_{3113-a young gentleman} to [Paris]_17-paris , where , [I]_0-i think , [she]_{655-his mother} died ; but [I]_0-i am not sure , for , owing to family differences , [I]_0-i have not been on terms for some years with [[my]_0-i sister - in - law]_{3120-my sister - in - law} , who was [[my]_0-i informant]_{3121-my informant} . " "_{[3120-my sister - in - law]} Who died ? " interrupted [[Jemima--"the_{[3120-my sister - in - law]} young man]_{6018-jemima--"the young man} 's mother]_{6019-jemima--"the young man 's mother} , or -- or [Ruth Hilton]_81-ruth ? " "_[81-ruth] Oh dear , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am ! pray do n't confuse the two . [It]_3123-it was [the mother]_{618-the mother} , [Mrs--]_3125-mrs-- [I]_0-i forget the name -- something like [Billington]_{242-billington} . It was [the lady who died]_{3126-the lady who died} . " "_{[3126-the lady who died]} And what became of the other ? " asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , unable , as [her]_217-jemima dark suspicion seemed thickening , to speak the name . "_{[1016-the girl]} [The girl]_{1016-the girl} ? Why , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , what could become of [her]_{1016-the girl} ? Not that [I]_0-i know exactly -- [only one]_{3129-only one} knows [they]_3130-they can but go from bad to worse , [poor creatures]_{3131-poor creatures} ! God forgive [me]_0-i , if [I]_0-i am speaking too transiently of [such degraded women , who , after all , are a disgrace to [our]_3133-our sex]_{3132-such degraded women , who , after all , are a disgrace to our sex} . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_0-i know nothing more about [her]_{1016-the girl} ? " asked [Jemima]_217-jemima . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did hear that [she]_{1016-the girl} had gone off with [another gentleman that [she]_{1016-the girl} met with in [Wales]_22-wales]_{3134-another gentleman that she met with in wales} , but [I]_0-i 'm sure [I]_0-i ca n't tell who told [me]_0-i . " There was a little pause . [Jemima]_217-jemima was pondering on all [she]_217-jemima had heard . Suddenly [she]_217-jemima felt that [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} 's eyes were upon [her]_217-jemima , watching [her]_217-jemima ; not with curiosity , but with a newly - awakened intelligence;--and yet [she]_217-jemima must ask one more question ; but [she]_217-jemima tried to ask it in an indifferent , careless tone , handling the bonnet while [she]_217-jemima spoke . "_[0-i] How long is it since all this -- all [you]_0-i have been telling [me]_0-i about -- happened ? " ( [Leonard]_104-leonard was eight years old . ) "_[0-i] Why -- let [me]_0-i see . It was before [I]_0-i was married , and [I]_0-i was married three years , and poor dear [Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} has been deceased five -- [I]_0-i should say going on for nine years this summer . Blush roses would become [your]_0-i complexion , perhaps , better than these lilacs , " said [she]_217-jemima , as with superficial observation [she]_217-jemima watched [Jemima]_217-jemima turning the bonnet round and round on [her]_217-jemima hand -- the bonnet that [her]_217-jemima dizzy eyes did not see . "_[0-i] Thank [you]_0-i . It is very pretty . But [I]_0-i do n't want a bonnet . [I]_0-i beg [your]_0-i pardon for taking up [your]_0-i time . " And with an abrupt bow to [the discomfited Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} , [she]_217-jemima was out and away in the open air , threading [her]_217-jemima way with instinctive energy along [the crowded street]_{6020-the crowded street} . Suddenly [she]_217-jemima turned round , and went back to [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} 's with even more rapidity than [she]_217-jemima had been walking away from [the house]_{426-the house} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have changed [my]_0-i mind , " said [she]_217-jemima , as [she]_217-jemima came , breathless , up into [the show - room]_{6022-the show - room} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will take the bonnet . How much is it ? " "_[0-i] Allow [me]_0-i to change the flowers ; it can be done in an instant , and then [you]_0-i can see if [you]_0-i would not prefer the roses ; but with either foliage it is a lovely little bonnet , " said [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} , holding it up admiringly on [her]_{240-mrs pearson} hand . "_[0-i] Oh ! never mind the flowers -- yes ! change them to roses . " And [she]_217-jemima stood by , agitated ( [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} thought with impatience ) , all the time [the milliner]_{481-the milliner} was making the alteration with skilful , busy haste . "_[4148-ma'am] By the way , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , when [she]_217-jemima saw the last touches were being given , and that [she]_217-jemima must not delay executing the purpose which was the real cause of [her]_217-jemima return--"Papa_[4148-ma'am] , [I]_0-i am sure , would not like [your]_0-i connecting [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's name with such a -- story as [you]_0-i have been telling [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Oh dear ! [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [I]_0-i have too much respect for [you]_4148-ma'am all to think of doing such a thing ! Of course [I]_0-i know , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , that it is not to be cast up to [any lady]_{3137-any lady} that [she]_{3137-any lady} is like [anybody disreputable]_{3138-anybody disreputable} . " "_{[3137-any lady]} But [I]_0-i would rather [you]_0-i did not name the likeness to [any one]_{425-any one} , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima ; "_[0-i] not to [any one]_{425-any one} . Do n't tell [any one]_{425-any one} the story [you]_0-i have told [me]_0-i this morning . " "_[0-i] Indeed , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am , [I]_0-i should never think of such a thing ! [[My]_0-i poor husband]_{3143-my poor husband} could have borne witness that [I]_0-i am as close as the grave where there is anything to conceal . " "_[0-i] Oh dear ! " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , "_[0-i] [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} , there is nothing to conceal ; only [you]_0-i must not speak about it . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i certainly shall not do it , [ma'am]_4148-ma'am ; [you]_4148-ma'am may rest assured of [me]_0-i . " This time [Jemima]_217-jemima did not go towards [home]_4124-home , but in the direction of [the outskirts of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{1868-the outskirts of the town} , on [the hilly side]_{6027-the hilly side} . [She]_217-jemima had some dim recollection of hearing [[her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} ask if [they]_{2576-her sisters} might not go and invite [Leonard]_104-leonard and [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} to tea ; and how could [she]_217-jemima face [Ruth]_81-ruth , after the conviction had taken possession of [her]_217-jemima heart that [she]_81-ruth , and [the sinful creature [she]_217-jemima had just heard of]_{6030-the sinful creature she had just heard of} , were [one and the same]_{6031-one and the same} ? It was yet only the middle of the afternoon ; the hours were early in [the old - fashioned town of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{6032-the old - fashioned town of eccleston} . Soft white clouds had come slowly sailing up out of the west ; [the plain]_{965-the plain} was flecked with thin floating shadows , gently borne along by the westerly wind that was waving the long grass in [the hay - fields]_{6034-the hay - fields} into alternate light and shade . [Jemima]_217-jemima went into [one of [these fields]_{6036-these fields}]_{6035-one of these fields} , lying by the side of [the upland road]_{6037-the upland road} . [She]_217-jemima was stunned by the shock [she]_217-jemima had received . [The diver]_{6038-the diver} , leaving the green sward , smooth and known , where [[his]_{6038-the diver} friends]_{4517-his friends} stand with [their]_{4517-his friends} familiar smiling faces , admiring [his]_{6038-the diver} glad bravery -- [the diver]_{6038-the diver} , down in an instant in [the horrid depths of the sea]_{6041-the horrid depths of the sea} , close to [some strange , ghastly , lidless - eyed monster]_{6042-some strange , ghastly , lidless - eyed monster} , can hardly more feel [his]_{6038-the diver} blood curdle at the near terror than did [Jemima]_217-jemima now . Two hours ago -- but a point of time on [her]_217-jemima mind 's dial -- [she]_217-jemima had never imagined that [she]_217-jemima should ever come in contact with [any one who had committed open sin]_{6043-any one who had committed open sin} ; [she]_217-jemima had never shaped [her]_217-jemima conviction into words and sentences , but still it was _ there _ , that [all the respectable]_{6044-all the respectable} , all the family and religious circumstances of [her]_217-jemima life , would hedge [her]_217-jemima in , and guard [her]_217-jemima from ever encountering the great shock of coming face to face with vice . Without being pharisaical in [her]_217-jemima estimation of [herself]_217-jemima , [she]_217-jemima had all [a Pharisee]_{6045-a pharisee} 's dread of [publicans]_{6046-publicans} and [sinners]_6047-sinners , and all [a child]_{556-a child} 's cowardliness -- that cowardliness which prompts it to shut [its]_{556-a child} eyes against the object of terror , rather than acknowledge its existence with brave faith . [[Her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's often reiterated speeches had not been without their effect . [He]_{411-her father} drew a clear line of partition , which separated [mankind]_6050-mankind into two great groups , to one of which , by the grace of [God]_104-leonard , [he]_{411-her father} and [[his]_{411-her father} belonged]_{6051-his belonged} ; while the other was composed of those whom it was [his]_{411-her father} duty to try and reform , and bring the whole force of [his]_{411-her father} morality to bear upon , with lectures , admonitions , and exhortations -- a duty to be performed , because it was a duty -- but with very little of that Hope and Faith which is the Spirit that maketh alive . [Jemima]_217-jemima had rebelled against these hard doctrines of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's , but their frequent repetition had had its effect , and led [her]_217-jemima to look upon [those who had gone astray with shrinking , shuddering recoil , instead of with a pity so Christ - like as to have both wisdom and tenderness in it]_{6053-those who had gone astray with shrinking , shuddering recoil , instead of with a pity so christ - like as to have both wisdom and tenderness in it} . And now [she]_217-jemima saw among [[her]_217-jemima own familiar associates]_{6054-her own familiar associates} one , almost [[her]_217-jemima housefellow]_{6055-her housefellow} , who had been stained with that evil most repugnant to [her]_217-jemima womanly modesty , that would fain have ignored its existence altogether . [She]_217-jemima loathed the thought of meeting [Ruth]_81-ruth again . [She]_217-jemima wished that [she]_217-jemima could take [her]_81-ruth up , and put [her]_81-ruth down at a distance somewhere -- anywhere -- where [she]_217-jemima might never see or hear of [her]_81-ruth more ; never be reminded , as [she]_217-jemima must be whenever [she]_217-jemima saw [her]_81-ruth , that such things were in [this sunny , bright , lark - singing earth]_{6056-this sunny , bright , lark - singing earth} , over which [the blue dome of heaven]_{6057-the blue dome of heaven} bent softly down as [Jemima]_217-jemima sat in [the hayfield]_{6058-the hayfield} that June afternoon ; [her]_217-jemima cheeks flushed and red , but [her]_217-jemima lips pale and compressed , and [her]_217-jemima eyes full of a heavy , angry sorrow . It was Saturday , and [the people in [that part of [the country]_{514-the country}]_{885-that part of the country}]_{6059-the people in that part of the country} left [their]_{6059-the people in that part of the country} work an hour earlier on that day . By this , [Jemima]_217-jemima knew it must be growing time for [her]_217-jemima to be at [home]_4124-home . [She]_217-jemima had had so much of conflict in [her]_217-jemima own mind of late , that [she]_217-jemima had grown to dislike struggle , or speech , or explanation ; and so strove to conform to times and hours much more than [she]_217-jemima had done in happier days . But oh ! how full of hate [her]_217-jemima heart was growing against [the world]_{506-the world} ! And oh ! how [she]_217-jemima sickened at the thought of seeing [Ruth]_81-ruth ! Who was to be trusted more , if [Ruth -- calm , modest , delicate , dignified Ruth]_{6064-ruth -- calm , modest , delicate , dignified ruth} -- had a memory blackened by sin ? As [she]_217-jemima went heavily along , the thought of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} came into [her]_217-jemima mind . It showed how terrible had been the stun , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had been forgotten until now . With the thought of [him]_{193-mr farquhar} came in [her]_217-jemima first merciful feeling towards [Ruth]_81-ruth . This would never have been , had there been the least latent suspicion in [Jemima]_217-jemima 's jealous mind that [Ruth]_81-ruth had purposely done aught -- looked a look -- uttered a word -- modulated a tone -- for the sake of attracting . As [Jemima]_217-jemima recalled all the passages of [their]_6065-they intercourse , [she]_217-jemima slowly confessed to [herself]_217-jemima how pure and simple had been all [Ruth]_81-ruth 's ways in relation to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . It was not merely that there had been no coquetting , but there had been simple unconsciousness on [Ruth]_81-ruth 's part , for so long a time after [Jemima]_217-jemima had discovered [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's inclination for [her]_217-jemima ; and when at length [she]_217-jemima had slowly awakened to some perception of the state of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} feelings , there had been a modest , shrinking dignity of manner , not startled , or emotional , or even timid , but pure , grave , and quiet ; and this conduct of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's , [Jemima]_217-jemima instinctively acknowledged to be of necessity transparent and sincere . Now , and here , there was no hypocrisy ; but some time , somewhere , on the part of [somebody]_{5422-somebody} , what hypocrisy , what lies must have been acted , if not absolutely spoken , before [Ruth]_81-ruth could have been received by [them]_6065-they all as [the sweet , gentle , girlish widow]_{6067-the sweet , gentle , girlish widow} , which [she]_217-jemima remembered [they]_6065-they had all believed [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} to be when first [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} came among [them]_6065-they ! Could [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} know ? Could [they]_6065-they be [a party to the deceit]_{6068-a party to the deceit} ? Not sufficiently acquainted with [the world]_{506-the world} to understand how strong had been the temptation to play the part [they]_6065-they did , if [they]_6065-they wished to give [Ruth]_81-ruth a chance , [Jemima]_217-jemima could not believe [them]_6065-they guilty of such deceit as the knowledge of [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's previous conduct would imply ; and yet how it darkened [the latter]_{1745-the latter} into [a treacherous hypocrite]_{6071-a treacherous hypocrite} , with a black secret shut up in [her]_81-ruth soul for years -- living in apparent confidence , and daily household familiarity with [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} for years , yet never telling the remorse that ought to be corroding [her]_81-ruth heart ! Who was true ? [Who]_6072-who was not ? Who was good and pure ? [Who]_6072-who was not ? The very foundations of [Jemima]_217-jemima 's belief in [her]_217-jemima mind were shaken . Could it be false ? Could there be two [Ruth Hiltons]_{243-ruth hiltons} ? [She]_217-jemima went over every morsel of evidence . It could not be . [She]_217-jemima knew that [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's former name had been [Hilton]_81-ruth . [She]_217-jemima had heard [her]_81-ruth speak casually , but charily , of having lived in [Fordham]_27-fordham . [She]_217-jemima knew [she]_81-ruth had been in [Wales]_22-wales but a short time before [she]_81-ruth made [her]_81-ruth appearance in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston . There was no doubt of the identity . Into the middle of [Jemima]_217-jemima 's pain and horror at the afternoon 's discovery , there came a sense of the power which the knowledge of this secret gave [her]_217-jemima over [Ruth]_81-ruth ; but this was no relief , only an aggravation of the regret with which [Jemima]_217-jemima looked back on [her]_217-jemima state of ignorance . It was no wonder that when [she]_217-jemima arrived at [home]_4124-home , [she]_217-jemima was so oppressed with headache that [she]_217-jemima had to go to bed directly . "_{[4127-mother]} Quiet , [mother]_4127-mother ! quiet , dear , [dear mother]_{3146-dear mother} " ( for [she]_217-jemima clung to the known and tried goodness of [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} more than ever now ) , "_{[3146-dear mother]} that is all [I]_0-i want . " And [she]_217-jemima was left to the stillness of [[her]_217-jemima darkened room]_{6075-her darkened room} , the blinds idly flapping to and fro in the soft evening breeze , and letting in the rustling sound of the branches which waved close to [her]_217-jemima window , and the thrush 's gurgling warble , and the distant hum of [the busy town]_{6076-the busy town} . [Her]_217-jemima jealousy was gone -- [she]_217-jemima knew not how or where . [She]_217-jemima might shun and recoil from [Ruth]_81-ruth , but [she]_217-jemima now thought that [she]_217-jemima could never more be jealous of [her]_81-ruth . In [her]_217-jemima pride of innocence , [she]_217-jemima felt almost ashamed that such a feeling could have had existence . Could [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} hesitate between [[her]_217-jemima own self]_{6077-her own self} and one who-- No ! [she]_217-jemima could not name what [Ruth]_81-ruth had been , even in thought . And yet [he]_{193-mr farquhar} might never know , so fair a seeming did [[her]_217-jemima rival]_{6078-her rival} wear . Oh ! for one ray of [God]_104-leonard 's holy light to know what was seeming , and what was truth , in [this traitorous hollow earth]_{6079-this traitorous hollow earth} ! It might be -- [she]_217-jemima used to think such things possible , before sorrow had embittered [her]_217-jemima -- that [Ruth]_81-ruth had worked [her]_81-ruth way through the deep purgatory of repentance up to something like purity again ; [God]_104-leonard only knew ! If [her]_81-ruth present goodness was real -- if , after having striven back thus far on [the heights]_{6080-the heights} , [a fellow - woman]_{6081-a fellow - woman} was to throw [her]_81-ruth down into some terrible depth with [her]_81-ruth unkind , incontinent tongue , that would be too cruel ! And yet , if -- there was such woeful uncertainty and deceit somewhere -- if [Ruth--]_244-ruth-- No ! that [Jemima]_217-jemima , with noble candour , admitted was impossible . Whatever [Ruth]_81-ruth had been , [she]_217-jemima was good , and to be respected as such , now . It did not follow that [Jemima]_217-jemima was to preserve the secret always ; [she]_217-jemima doubted [her]_217-jemima own power to do so , if [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} came [home]_4124-home again , and were still constant in [his]_{193-mr farquhar} admiration of [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , and if [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} gave [him]_{193-mr farquhar} any -- the least encouragement . But this last [she]_217-jemima thought , from what [she]_217-jemima knew of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's character , was impossible . Only , what was impossible after this afternoon 's discovery ? At any rate , [she]_217-jemima would watch and wait . Come what might , [Ruth]_81-ruth was in [her]_81-ruth power . And , strange to say , this last certainty gave [Jemima]_217-jemima a kind of protecting , almost pitying , feeling for [Ruth]_81-ruth . [Her]_217-jemima horror at the wrong was not diminished ; but the more [she]_217-jemima thought of the struggles that [the wrong - doer]_{6083-the wrong - doer} must have made to extricate [herself]_217-jemima , the more [she]_217-jemima felt how cruel it would be to baffle all by revealing what had been . But for [[her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} ' sake [she]_217-jemima had a duty to perform ; [she]_217-jemima must watch [Ruth]_81-ruth . For [her]_217-jemima love 's sake [she]_217-jemima could not have helped watching ; but [she]_217-jemima was too much stunned to recognise the force of [her]_217-jemima love , while duty seemed the only stable thing to cling to . For the present [she]_217-jemima would neither meddle nor mar in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's course of life . CHAPTER XXVI [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's Virtuous Indignation So it was that [Jemima]_217-jemima no longer avoided [Ruth]_81-ruth , nor manifested by word or look the dislike which for a long time [she]_217-jemima had been scarce concealing . [Ruth]_81-ruth could not help noticing that [Jemima]_217-jemima always sought to be in [her]_217-jemima presence while [she]_217-jemima was at [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's house]_{2402-mr bradshaw 's house} ; either when daily teaching [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , or when [she]_217-jemima came as [an occasional visitor]_{6086-an occasional visitor} with [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , or by [herself]_217-jemima . Up to this time [Jemima]_217-jemima had used no gentle skill to conceal the abruptness with which [she]_217-jemima would leave [the room]_{357-the room} rather than that [Ruth]_81-ruth and [she]_217-jemima should be brought into contact -- rather than that it should fall to [her]_217-jemima lot to entertain [Ruth]_81-ruth during any part of the evening . It was months since [Jemima]_217-jemima had left off sitting in [the schoolroom]_{2601-the schoolroom} , as had been [her]_217-jemima wo nt during the first few years of [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's governess]_{6089-ruth 's governess} - ship . Now , each morning [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} seated [herself]_{151-mrs bradshaw} at a little round table in the window , at [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} work , or at [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} writing ; but whether [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} sewed , or wrote , or read , [Ruth]_81-ruth felt that [she]_81-ruth was always watching -- watching . At first [Ruth]_81-ruth had welcomed all these changes in habit and behaviour , as giving [her]_81-ruth a chance , [she]_81-ruth thought , by some patient waiting or some opportune show of enduring , constant love , to regain [[her]_81-ruth lost friend]_{6090-her lost friend} 's regard ; but by - and - by the icy chillness , immovable and grey , struck more to [her]_81-ruth heart than many sudden words of unkindness could have done . They might be attributed to the hot impulses of a hasty temper -- to the vehement anger of [an accuser]_{6091-an accuser} ; but this measured manner was the conscious result of some deep - seated feeling ; this cold sternness befitted the calm implacability of [some severe judge]_{6092-some severe judge} . The watching , which [Ruth]_81-ruth felt was ever upon [her]_81-ruth , made [her]_81-ruth unconsciously shiver , as [you]_6093-you would if [you]_6093-you saw that the passionless eyes of the dead were visibly gazing upon [you]_6093-you . [Her]_81-ruth very being shrivelled and parched up in [Jemima]_217-jemima 's presence , as if blown upon by a bitter , keen , east wind . [Jemima]_217-jemima bent every power [she]_217-jemima possessed upon the one object of ascertaining what [Ruth]_81-ruth really was . Sometimes the strain was very painful ; the constant tension made [her]_81-ruth soul weary ; and [she]_81-ruth moaned aloud , and upbraided circumstance ( [she]_81-ruth dared not go higher -- to [the Maker of circumstance]_{6094-the maker of circumstance} ) for having deprived [her]_81-ruth of [her]_81-ruth unsuspicious happy ignorance . Things were in this state when [Mr Richard Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} came on [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} annual home visit . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was to remain another year in [London]_3-london , and then to return and be admitted into [the firm]_{5329-the firm} . After [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been a week at [home]_4124-home , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} grew tired of the monotonous regularity of [[[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} 's household]_{6098-his father 's household} , and began to complain of it to [Jemima]_217-jemima . "_{[3146-dear mother]} [I]_0-i wish [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} were at [home]_4124-home . Though [he]_{193-mr farquhar} is such [a stiff , quiet old fellow]_{3148-a stiff , quiet old fellow} , [his]_{193-mr farquhar} coming in in the evenings makes a change . What has become of [the Millses]_{245-the millses} ? [They]_{245-the millses} used to drink tea with [us]_3149-us sometimes , formerly . " "_{[245-the millses]} Oh ! [papa]_4310-papa and [Mr Mills]_{246-mr mills} took opposite sides at the election , and [we]_3149-us have never visited since . [I]_0-i do n't think they are any great loss . " "_{[5210-anybody]} [Anybody]_5210-anybody is a loss -- [the stupidest bore that ever was]_{3152-the stupidest bore that ever was} would be a blessing , if [he]_{3152-the stupidest bore that ever was} only would come in sometimes . " "_[3153-mr] [Mr]_3153-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} have drank tea here twice since [you]_0-i came . " "_[3153-mr] Come , that 's capital ! Apropos of [stupid bores]_{3154-stupid bores} , [you]_0-i talk of [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} . [I]_0-i did not think [you]_0-i had so much discrimination , [[my]_0-i little sister]_{3155-my little sister} . " [Jemima]_217-jemima looked up in surprise ; and then reddened angrily . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i never meant to say a word against [Mr]_3156-mr or [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , and that [you]_0-i know quite well , [Dick]_214-dick . " "_[214-dick] Never mind ! [I]_0-i wo n't tell tales . [They]_3157-they are [stupid old fogeys]_{3158-stupid old fogeys} , but they are better than [nobody]_5038-nobody , especially as [that handsome governess of [the girls]_{414-the girls}]_{3160-that handsome governess of the girls} always comes with [them]_3157-they to be looked at . " There was a little pause ; [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} broke it by saying : "_{[3160-that handsome governess of the girls]} Do [you]_0-i know , [Mimie]_208-mimie , [I]_0-i 've a notion , if [she]_{3160-that handsome governess of the girls} plays [her]_{3160-that handsome governess of the girls} cards well , [she]_{3160-that handsome governess of the girls} may hook [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ! " "_{[193-mr farquhar]} Who ? " asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , shortly , though [she]_217-jemima knew quite well . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , to be sure . [We]_3162-we were talking of [her]_{3160-that handsome governess of the girls} , [you]_0-i know . [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} asked [me]_0-i to dine with [him]_{193-mr farquhar} at [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} hotel]_{3163-his hotel} as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} passed through [town]_666-town , and -- [I'd]_0-i [my]_0-i own reasons for going and trying to creep up [his]_{193-mr farquhar} sleeve -- [I]_0-i wanted [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to tip [me]_0-i , as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} used to do . " "_{[193-mr farquhar]} For shame ! [Dick]_214-dick , " burst in [Jemima]_217-jemima . "_[214-dick] Well ! well ! not tip [me]_0-i exactly , but lend [me]_0-i some money . [The governor]_{3165-the governor} keeps [me]_0-i so deucedly short . " "_{[3165-the governor]} Why ! it was only yesterday , when [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} was speaking about [your]_214-dick expenses , and [your]_214-dick allowance , [I]_0-i heard [you]_214-dick say that [you]_214-dick 'd more than [you]_214-dick knew how to spend . " "_[214-dick] Do n't [you]_214-dick see that was the perfection of art ? If [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} had thought [me]_0-i extravagant , [he]_{4925-my father} would have kept [me]_0-i in with a tight rein ; as it is , [I]_0-i 'm in great hopes of [a handsome addition]_{3168-a handsome addition} , and [I]_0-i can tell [you]_214-dick it 's needed . If [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} had given [me]_0-i what [I]_0-i ought to have had at first , [I]_0-i should not have been driven to the speculations and messes [I]_0-i 've got into . " "_[0-i] What speculations ? What messes ? " asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , with anxious eagerness . "_[0-i] Oh ! messes was not the right word . Speculations hardly was ; for they are sure to turn out well , and then [I]_0-i shall surprise [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} with [my]_0-i riches . " [He]_{4925-my father} saw that [he]_{4925-my father} had gone a little too far in [his]_{4925-my father} confidence , and was trying to draw in . "_[214-dick] But , what do [you]_214-dick mean ? Do explain it to [me]_0-i . " "_[214-dick] Never [you]_214-dick trouble [your]_214-dick head about [my]_0-i business , [[my]_0-i dear]_{4145-my dear} . [Women]_4167-women ca n't understand the share - market , and such things . Do n't think [I]_0-i 've forgotten the awful blunders [you]_214-dick made when [you]_214-dick tried to read the state of the money - market aloud to [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} , that night when [he]_{4925-my father} had lost [his]_{4925-my father} spectacles . What were [we]_3174-we talking of ? Oh ! of [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} and [pretty Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . Yes ! [I]_0-i soon found out that was the subject [[my]_0-i gentleman]_{4994-my gentleman} liked [me]_0-i to dwell on . [He]_{4925-my father} did not talk about [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} much [himself]_{4925-my father} , but [his]_{4925-my father} eyes sparkled when [I]_0-i told [him]_{4925-my father} what enthusiastic letters [Polly]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} wrote about [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} . How old [d'ye]_3176-d'ye think [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} is ? " "_[3176-d'ye] [I]_0-i know ! " said [Jemima]_217-jemima . "_[3176-d'ye] At least , [I]_0-i heard [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} age spoken about , amongst other things , when first [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} came . [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} will be five - and - twenty this autumn . " "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} And [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} is forty , if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} is a day . [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} 's young , too , to have [such a boy as [Leonard]_104-leonard]_{3177-such a boy as leonard} ; younger - looking , or full as young - looking as [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} is ! [I]_0-i tell [you]_0-i what , [Mimie]_208-mimie , [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} looks younger than [you]_0-i . How old are [you]_0-i ? Three - and - twenty , ai n't it ? " "_[0-i] Last March , " replied [Jemima]_217-jemima . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i 'll have to make haste and pick up [somebody]_{5422-somebody} , if [you]_0-i 're losing [your]_0-i good looks at this rate . Why , [Jemima]_217-jemima , [I]_0-i thought [you]_0-i had a good chance of [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} a year or two ago . How come [you]_0-i to have lost [him]_{193-mr farquhar} ? [I]_0-i 'd far rather [you]_0-i 'd had [him]_{193-mr farquhar} than that proud , haughty [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , who flashes [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} great grey eyes upon [me]_0-i if ever [I]_0-i dare to pay [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} a compliment . [She]_{156-mrs denbigh} ought to think it an honour that [I]_0-i take that much notice of [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} . Besides , [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} is rich , and it 's keeping the business of [the firm]_{5329-the firm} in [[one]_321-one 's own family]_{3181-one 's own family} ; and if [he]_{193-mr farquhar} marries [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} will be sure to be wanting [Leonard]_104-leonard in when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} 's of age , and [I]_0-i wo n't have that . Have a try for [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , [Mimie]_208-mimie ! Ten to one it 's not too late . [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i 'd brought [you]_208-mimie a pink bonnet down . [You]_208-mimie go about so dowdy -- so careless of how [you]_208-mimie look . " "_[208-mimie] If [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} has not liked [me]_0-i as [I]_0-i am , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , choking , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [I]_0-i do n't want to owe [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to a pink bonnet . " "_[0-i] Nonsense ! [I]_0-i do n't like to have [[[my]_0-i sisters]_{3182-my sisters} ' governess stealing a march on [[my]_0-i sister]_{5054-my sister}]_{3183-my sisters ' governess stealing a march on my sister} . [I]_0-i tell [you]_208-mimie [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} is worth trying for . If [you]_208-mimie 'll wear the pink bonnet [I]_0-i 'll give it [you]_208-mimie , and [I]_0-i 'll back [you]_208-mimie against [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . [I]_0-i think [you]_208-mimie might have done something with ' [[our]_3185-our member]_{3062-our member} , ' as [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} calls [him]_{193-mr farquhar} , when [you]_208-mimie had [him]_{193-mr farquhar} so long in [the house]_{426-the house} . But , altogether , [I]_0-i should like [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} best for [a brother - in - law]_{3189-a brother - in - law} . By the way , have [you]_208-mimie heard down here that [Donne]_{225-mr donne} is going to be married ? [I]_0-i heard of it in [town]_666-town , just before [I]_0-i left , from [a man that was good authority]_{3191-a man that was good authority} . [[Some Sir Thomas Campbell]_{247-sir thomas campbell} 's seventh daughter]_{3192-some sir thomas campbell 's seventh daughter} : [a girl without a penny]_{3193-a girl without a penny} ; [father]_4711-father ruined [himself]_4711-father by gambling , and obliged to live [abroad]_3195-abroad . But [Donne]_{225-mr donne} is not [a man to care for any obstacle]_{3196-a man to care for any obstacle} , from all accounts , when once [he]_{225-mr donne} has taken a fancy . It was love at first sight , [they]_3197-they say . [I]_0-i believe [he]_{225-mr donne} did not know of [her]_{3192-some sir thomas campbell 's seventh daughter} existence a month ago . " "_{[225-mr donne]} No ! [we]_3198-we have not heard of it , " replied [Jemima]_217-jemima . "_{[225-mr donne]} [[My]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} will like to know ; tell it [him]_{4925-my father} ; " continued [she]_217-jemima , as [she]_217-jemima was leaving [the room]_{357-the room} , to be alone , in order to still [her]_217-jemima habitual agitation whenever [she]_217-jemima heard [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} and [Ruth]_81-ruth coupled together . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} came [home]_4124-home the day before [Richard Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} left for [town]_666-town . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} dropped in after tea at [[the Bradshaws]_{206-the bradshaws} ']_{6102-the bradshaws '} ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was evidently disappointed to see none but [the family there]_{6103-the family there} , and looked round whenever the door opened . "_{[4925-my father]} Look ! look ! " said [Dick]_214-dick to [[his]_214-dick sister]_{4508-his sister} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wanted to make sure of [his]_3200-his coming in to - night , to save [me]_0-i [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} 's parting exhortations against the temptations of [the world]_{506-the world} ( as if [I]_0-i did not know much more of [the world]_{506-the world} than [he]_3200-his does ! ) , so [I]_0-i used a spell [I]_0-i thought would prove efficacious ; [I]_0-i told [him]_3200-his that [we]_3204-we should be by [ourselves]_3204-we , with the exception of [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , and look how [he]_3200-his is expecting [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} to come in ! " [Jemima]_217-jemima did see ; did understand . [She]_217-jemima understood , too , why certain packets were put carefully on one side , apart from the rest of the purchases of Swiss toys and jewellery , by which [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} proved that [none of [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's family]_{2196-mr bradshaw 's family}]_{6105-none of mr bradshaw 's family} had been forgotten by [him]_3200-his during [his]_3200-his absence . Before the end of the evening , [she]_217-jemima was very conscious that [her]_217-jemima sore heart had not forgotten how to be jealous . [[Her]_217-jemima brother]_{982-her brother} did not allow a word , a look , or an incident , which might be supposed on [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's side to refer to [Ruth]_81-ruth , to pass unnoticed ; [he]_{982-her brother} pointed out all to [[his]_{982-her brother} sister]_{4508-his sister} , never dreaming of the torture [he]_{982-her brother} was inflicting , only anxious to prove [his]_{982-her brother} own extreme penetration . At length [Jemima]_217-jemima could stand it no longer , and left [the room]_{357-the room} . [She]_217-jemima went into [the schoolroom]_{2601-the schoolroom} , where the shutters were not closed , as [it]_6111-it only looked into [the garden]_{783-the garden} . [She]_217-jemima opened the window , to let the cool night air blow in on [her]_217-jemima hot cheeks . The clouds were hurrying over the moon 's face in a tempestuous and unstable manner , making all things seem unreal ; now clear out in its bright light , now trembling and quivering in shadow . The pain at [her]_217-jemima heart seemed to make [Jemima]_217-jemima 's brain grow dull ; [she]_217-jemima laid [her]_217-jemima head on [her]_217-jemima arms , which rested on the window - sill , and grew dizzy with the sick weary notion that [the earth]_{843-the earth} was wandering lawless and aimless through the heavens , where all seemed one tossed and whirling wrack of clouds . It was a waking nightmare , from the uneasy heaviness of which [she]_217-jemima was thankful to be roused by [Dick]_214-dick 's entrance . "_[3200-his] What , [you]_3205-you are here , are [you]_3205-you ? [I]_0-i have been looking everywhere for [you]_3205-you . [I]_0-i wanted to ask [you]_3205-you if [you]_3205-you have any spare money [you]_3205-you could lend [me]_0-i for a few weeks ? " "_[0-i] How much do [you]_3205-you want ? " asked [Jemima]_217-jemima , in a dull , hopeless voice . "_[0-i] Oh ! the more the better . But [I]_0-i should be glad of any trifle , [I]_0-i am kept so confoundedly short . " When [Jemima]_217-jemima returned with [[her]_217-jemima little store]_{6114-her little store} , even [[her]_217-jemima careless , selfish brother]_{6115-her careless , selfish brother} was struck by the wanness of [her]_217-jemima face , lighted by the bed - candle [she]_217-jemima carried . "_[208-mimie] Come , [Mimie]_208-mimie , do n't give it up . If [I]_0-i were [you]_3205-you , [I]_0-i would have a good try against [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . [I]_0-i 'll send [you]_3205-you the bonnet as soon as ever [I]_0-i get back to [town]_666-town , and [you]_3205-you pluck up a spirit , and [I]_0-i 'll back [you]_3205-you against [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} even yet . " It seemed to [Jemima]_217-jemima strange -- and yet only a fitting part of [this strange , chaotic world]_{6116-this strange , chaotic world} -- to find that [[her]_217-jemima brother]_{982-her brother} , who was [the last person to whom [she]_217-jemima could have given [her]_217-jemima confidence in [[her]_217-jemima own family]_{2423-her own family} , and almost [the last person of [her]_217-jemima acquaintance to whom [she]_217-jemima could look for real help and sympathy]_{6120-the last person of her acquaintance to whom she could look for real help and sympathy} , should have been [the only one to hit upon the secret of [her]_217-jemima love]_{6121-the only one to hit upon the secret of her love}]_{6118-the last person to whom she could have given her confidence in her own family , and almost the last person of her acquaintance to whom she could look for real help and sympathy , should have been the only one to hit upon the secret of her love} . And the idea passed away from [his]_{982-her brother} mind as quickly as all ideas not bearing upon [his]_{982-her brother} own self - interests did . The night , the sleepless night , was so crowded and haunted by miserable images , that [she]_217-jemima longed for day ; and when day came , with its stinging realities , [she]_217-jemima wearied and grew sick for the solitude of night . For the next week , [she]_217-jemima seemed to see and hear nothing but what confirmed the idea of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's decided attachment to [Ruth]_81-ruth . Even [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} spoke of it as a thing which was impending , and which [she]_{710-her mother} wondered how [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} would like ; for [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} approval or disapproval was the standard by which [she]_{710-her mother} measured all things . "_[0-i] Oh ! merciful [God]_104-leonard , " prayed [Jemima]_217-jemima , in the dead silence of the night , "_{[104-leonard]} the strain is too great -- [I]_0-i can not bear it longer -- [my]_0-i life -- [[my]_0-i love]_{4345-my love} -- the very essence of [me]_0-i , which is [myself]_0-i through time and eternity ; and on the other side there is all - pitying [Charity]_248-charity . If [she]_3208-she had not been what [she]_3208-she is -- if [she]_3208-she had shown any sign of triumph -- any knowledge of [her]_3208-she prize -- if [she]_3208-she had made any effort to gain [his]_3209-his dear heart , [I]_0-i must have given way long ago , and taunted [her]_3208-she , even if [I]_0-i did not tell [others]_368-others -- taunted [her]_3208-she , even though [I]_0-i sank down to the pit the next moment . " The temptation is too strong for [me]_0-i . Oh [Lord]_6123-lord ! where is [Thy]_6124-thy peace that [I]_0-i believed in , in [my]_0-i childhood?--that [I]_0-i hear [people]_322-people speaking of now , as if it hushed up the troubles of life , and had not to be sought for -- sought for , as with tears of blood ! "_[0-i] There was no sound nor sight in answer to this wild imploring cry , which [Jemima]_217-jemima half thought must force out a sign from Heaven . But there was a dawn stealing on through the darkness of [her]_217-jemima night . It was glorious weather for the end of August . The nights were as full of light as the days -- everywhere , save in [the low dusky meadows by [the river - side]_{3212-the river - side} , where the mists rose and blended the pale sky with [the lands below]_{3213-the lands below}]_{3211-the low dusky meadows by the river - side , where the mists rose and blended the pale sky with the lands below} . Unknowing of the care and trouble around [them]_3214-they , [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} exulted in the weather , and saw some new glory in every touch of the year 's decay . [They]_3214-they were clamorous for an expedition to [the hills]_{1242-the hills} , before the calm stillness of the autumn should be disturbed by storms . [They]_3214-they gained permission to go on the next Wednesday -- the next half - holiday . [They]_3214-they had won [[their]_3214-they mother]_{2532-their mother} over to consent to a full holiday , but [[their]_3214-they father]_{2183-their father} would not hear of it . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had proposed an early dinner , but the idea was scouted at by [the girls]_{414-the girls} . What would the expedition be worth if [they]_3214-they did not carry [their]_3214-they dinners with [them]_3214-they in baskets ? Anything out of a basket , and eaten in the open air , was worth twenty times as much as the most sumptuous meal in [the house]_{426-the house} . So the baskets were packed up , while [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} wailed over probable colds to be caught from sitting on the damp ground . [Ruth]_81-ruth and [Leonard]_104-leonard were to go ; [they]_{414-the girls} four . [Jemima]_217-jemima had refused all invitations to make one of the party ; and yet [she]_217-jemima had a half - sympathy with [[her]_217-jemima sisters]_{2576-her sisters} ' joy -- a sort of longing , lingering look back to the time when [she]_217-jemima too would have revelled in the prospect that lay before [them]_{414-the girls} . [They]_{414-the girls} , too , would grow up , and suffer ; though now [they]_{414-the girls} played , regardless of [their]_{414-the girls} doom . The morning was bright and glorious ; just cloud enough , as [some one]_{378-some one} said , to make [the distant plain]_{3222-the distant plain} look beautiful from [the hills]_{1242-the hills} , with [its]_{3222-the distant plain} floating shadows passing over [the golden corn - fields]_{3224-the golden corn - fields} . [Leonard]_104-leonard was to join [them]_{414-the girls} at twelve , when [his]_104-leonard lessons with [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , and [the girls]_{414-the girls} ' with [[their]_{414-the girls} masters]_{5232-their masters} , should be over . [Ruth]_81-ruth took off [her]_81-ruth bonnet , and folded [her]_81-ruth shawl with [her]_81-ruth usual dainty , careful neatness , and laid them aside in a corner of [the room]_{357-the room} to be in readiness . [She]_81-ruth tried to forget the pleasure [she]_81-ruth always anticipated from a long walk towards [the hills]_{1242-the hills} , while the morning 's work went on ; but [she]_81-ruth showed enough of sympathy to make [the girls]_{414-the girls} cling round [her]_81-ruth with many a caress of joyous love . Everything was beautiful in [their]_{414-the girls} eyes ; from the shadows of the quivering leaves on the wall to the glittering beads of dew , not yet absorbed by the sun , which decked the gossamer web in the vine outside the window . Eleven o'clock struck . [The Latin master]_{3230-the latin master} went away , wondering much at the radiant faces of [[his]_{3230-the latin master} pupils]_{2151-his pupils} , and thinking that it was [only very young people who could take such pleasure in the " Delectus]_{6126-only very young people who could take such pleasure in the " delectus} . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth said , " Now , do let [us]_{414-the girls} try to be very steady this next hour , "_[81-ruth] and [Mary]_118-mary pulled back [Ruth]_81-ruth 's head , and gave the pretty budding mouth a kiss . [They]_{414-the girls} sat down to work , while [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} read aloud . A fresh sun - gleam burst into [the room]_{357-the room} , and [they]_{414-the girls} looked at [each other]_{579-each other} with glad , anticipating eyes . [Jemima]_217-jemima came in , ostensibly to seek for a book , but really from that sort of restless weariness of any one place or employment , which had taken possession of [her]_217-jemima since [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's return . [She]_217-jemima stood before the bookcase in the recess , languidly passing over the titles in search of the one [she]_217-jemima wanted . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's voice lost a tone or two of its peacefulness , and [her]_81-ruth eyes looked more dim and anxious at [Jemima]_217-jemima 's presence . [She]_81-ruth wondered in [her]_81-ruth heart if [she]_81-ruth dared to ask [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} to accompany [them]_{414-the girls} in [their]_{414-the girls} expedition . Eighteen months ago [she]_81-ruth would have urged it on [[her]_81-ruth friend]_{431-her friend} with soft , loving entreaty ; now [she]_81-ruth was afraid even to propose it as a hard possibility ; everything [she]_81-ruth did or said was taken so wrongly -- seemed to add to the old dislike , or the later stony contempt with which [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had regarded [her]_81-ruth . While [they]_{414-the girls} were in this way [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} came into [the room]_{357-the room} . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} entrance -- [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} being at [home]_4124-home at all at this time -- was so unusual a thing , that the reading was instantly stopped ; and all four involuntarily looked at [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , as if expecting some explanation of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} unusual proceeding . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} face was almost purple with suppressed agitation . " [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , leave [the room]_{357-the room} . Do n't stay to pack up [your]_{3237-the frightened girls} books . Leave [the room]_{357-the room} , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} say ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke with trembling anger , and [the frightened girls]_{3237-the frightened girls} obeyed without a word . A cloud passing over the sun cast a cold gloom into [the room]_{357-the room} which was late so bright and beaming ; but , by equalising the light , it took away the dark shadow from the place where [Jemima]_217-jemima had been standing , and [her]_217-jemima figure caught [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's eye . " Leave [the room]_{357-the room} , [Jemima]_217-jemima , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " Why , [father]_4711-father ? "_[217-jemima] replied [she]_217-jemima , in an opposition that was strange even to [herself]_217-jemima , but which was prompted by the sullen passion which seethed below the stagnant surface of [her]_217-jemima life , and which sought a vent in defiance . [She]_217-jemima maintained [her]_217-jemima ground , facing round upon [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} , and [Ruth]_81-ruth -- [Ruth]_81-ruth , who had risen , and stood trembling , shaking , a lightning - fear having shown [her]_81-ruth the precipice on which [she]_81-ruth stood . It was of no use ; no quiet , innocent life -- no profound silence , even to [her]_81-ruth own heart , as to the Past ; the old offence could never be drowned in [the Deep]_{61-the deep} ; but thus , when all was calm on [the great , broad , sunny sea]_{3241-the great , broad , sunny sea} , [it]_{3241-the great , broad , sunny sea} rose to the surface , and faced [her]_217-jemima with [its]_{3241-the great , broad , sunny sea} unclosed eyes and its ghastly countenance . The blood bubbled up to [her]_217-jemima brain , and made such a sound there , as of boiling waters , that [she]_217-jemima did not hear the words which [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} first spoke ; indeed , [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} speech was broken and disjointed by intense passion . But [she]_217-jemima needed not to hear ; [she]_217-jemima knew . As [she]_217-jemima rose up at first , so [she]_217-jemima stood now -- numb and helpless . When [her]_217-jemima ears heard again ( as if the sounds were drawing nearer , and becoming more distinct , from some faint , vague distance of space ) , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was saying , " If there be one sin [I]_3242-i hate -- [I]_3242-i utterly loathe -- more than all others , it is wantonness . It includes all other sins . It is but of a piece that [you]_217-jemima should have come with [your]_217-jemima sickly , hypocritical face , imposing upon [us]_6131-us all . [I]_3242-i trust [Benson]_{143-mr benson} did not know of it -- for [his]_{143-mr benson} own sake , [I]_3242-i trust not . Before [God]_104-leonard , if [he]_{143-mr benson} got [you]_217-jemima into [[my]_3242-i house]_{4340-my house} on false pretences , [he]_{143-mr benson} shall find [his]_{143-mr benson} charity at [other men]_{6133-other men} 's expense shall cost [him]_{143-mr benson} dear -- [you]_217-jemima -- the common talk of [Eccleston]_{222-eccleston} for [your]_217-jemima profligacy-- "_[3242-i] [He]_3242-i was absolutely choked by [his]_3242-i boiling indignation . [Ruth]_81-ruth stood speechless , motionless . [Her]_81-ruth head drooped a little forward , [her]_81-ruth eyes were more than half veiled by the large quivering lids , [her]_81-ruth arms hung down straight and heavy . At last [she]_81-ruth heaved the weight off [her]_81-ruth heart enough to say , in a faint , moaning voice , speaking with infinite difficulty : " [I]_81-ruth was so young . "_[81-ruth] " The more depraved , the more disgusting [you]_217-jemima , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} exclaimed , almost glad that [the woman]_{5598-the woman} , unresisting so long , should now begin to resist . But to [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} surprise ( for in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} anger [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had forgotten [her]_{5598-the woman} presence ) [Jemima]_217-jemima moved forwards , and said , " [Father]_249-father ! "_[217-jemima] " [You]_217-jemima hold [your]_217-jemima tongue , [Jemima]_217-jemima . [You]_217-jemima have grown more and more insolent -- more and more disobedient every day . [I]_217-jemima now know who to thank for it . When [such a woman]_{6134-such a woman} came into [[my]_217-jemima family]_{6135-my family} there is no wonder at any corruption -- any evil -- any defilement-- "_[217-jemima] " [Father]_4711-father ! "_[217-jemima] " Not a word ! If , in [your]_217-jemima disobedience , [you]_217-jemima choose to stay and hear what [no modest young woman]_{6137-no modest young woman} would put [herself]_{6137-no modest young woman} in the way of hearing , [you]_217-jemima shall be silent when [I]_81-ruth bid [you]_217-jemima . The only good [you]_217-jemima can gain is in the way of warning . Look at [that woman]_{6138-that woman} "_[81-ruth] ( indicating [Ruth]_81-ruth , who moved [her]_81-ruth drooping head a little on one side , as if by such motion [she]_81-ruth could avert the pitiless pointing -- [her]_81-ruth face growing whiter and whiter still every instant)--"look at [that woman]_{6138-that woman} , [I]_3244-i say -- corrupt long before [she]_{6138-that woman} was [your]_217-jemima age -- hypocrite for years ! If ever [you]_217-jemima , or [any child of mine]_{6140-any child of mine} , cared for [her]_{6138-that woman} , shake [her]_{6138-that woman} off from [you]_217-jemima , as [St Paul]_{250-st paul} shook off the viper -- even into the fire . "_[3244-i] [He]_3244-i stopped for very want of breath . [Jemima]_217-jemima , all flushed and panting , went up and stood side by side with [wan Ruth]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth took the cold , dead hand which hung next to [her]_81-ruth in [her]_81-ruth warm convulsive grasp , and holding it so tight that it was blue and discoloured for days , [she]_81-ruth spoke out beyond all power of restraint from [[her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} . " [Father]_249-father , [I]_81-ruth will speak . [I]_81-ruth will not keep silence . [I]_81-ruth will bear witness to [Ruth]_81-ruth . [I]_81-ruth have hated [her]_81-ruth -- so keenly , may [God]_104-leonard forgive [me]_81-ruth ! but [you]_249-father may know , from that , that [my]_81-ruth witness is true . [I]_81-ruth have hated [her]_81-ruth , and [my]_81-ruth hatred was only quenched into contempt -- not contempt now , [dear [Ruth]_81-ruth]_{6141-dear ruth} -- dear [Ruth"--(this]_{251-ruth"--(this[81-ruth]} was spoken with infinite softness and tenderness , and in spite of [[her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} 's fierce eyes and passionate gesture)--"I heard what [you]_249-father have learnt now , [father]_4711-father , weeks and weeks ago -- a year it may be , all time of late has been so long ; and [I]_3247-i shuddered up from [her]_81-ruth and from [her]_81-ruth sin ; and [I]_3247-i might have spoken of it , and told it there and then , if [I]_3247-i had not been afraid that it was from no good motive [I]_3247-i should act in so doing , but to gain a way to the desire of [my]_3247-i own jealous heart . Yes , [father]_4711-father , to show [you]_4711-father what [a witness]_{6144-a witness} [I]_3247-i am for [Ruth]_81-ruth , [I]_3247-i will own that [I]_3247-i was stabbed to the heart with jealousy ; [some one]_{378-some one} -- [some one]_{378-some one} cared for [Ruth]_81-ruth that -- oh , [father]_4711-father ! spare [me]_3247-i saying all . "_[3247-i] [Her]_3247-i face was double - dyed with crimson blushes , and [she]_3247-i paused for one moment -- no more . " [I]_3247-i watched [her]_81-ruth , and [I]_3247-i watched [her]_81-ruth with [my]_3247-i wild - beast eyes . If [I]_3247-i had seen [one paltering with duty]_{6148-one paltering with duty} -- if [I]_3247-i had witnessed one flickering shadow of untruth in word or action -- if , more than all things , [[my]_3247-i woman]_{6149-my woman} 's instinct had ever been conscious of the faintest speck of impurity in thought , or word , or look , [my]_3247-i old hate would have flamed out with the flame of hell ! [my]_3247-i contempt would have turned to loathing disgust , instead of [my]_3247-i being full of pity , and the stirrings of new - awakened love , and most true respect . [Father]_249-father , [I]_3247-i have borne [my]_3247-i witness ! "_[3247-i] " And [I]_{411-her father} will tell [you]_3248-you how much [[your]_3248-you witness]_{6150-your witness} is worth , "_{[411-her father]} said [[her]_3248-you father]_{411-her father} , beginning low , that [his]_{411-her father} pent - up wrath might have room to swell out . " It only convinces [me]_{411-her father} more and more how deep is the corruption [this wanton]_{6151-this wanton} has spread in [[my]_{411-her father} family]_{6135-my family} . [She]_{6149-my woman} has come amongst [us]_{6135-my family} with [her]_{6149-my woman} innocent seeming , and spread [her]_{6149-my woman} nets well and skilfully . [She]_{6149-my woman} has turned right into wrong , and wrong into right , and taught [you]_3248-you all to be uncertain whether there be any such thing as Vice in [the world]_{506-the world} , or whether it ought not to be looked upon as Virtue . [She]_{6149-my woman} has led [you]_3248-you to the brink of [the deep pit]_{6154-the deep pit} , ready for the first chance circumstance to push [you]_3248-you in . And [I]_{411-her father} trusted [her]_{6149-my woman} -- [I]_{411-her father} trusted [her]_{6149-my woman} -- [I]_{411-her father} welcomed [her]_{6149-my woman} . "_{[411-her father]} " [I]_81-ruth have done very wrong , "_[81-ruth] murmured [Ruth]_81-ruth , but so low , that perhaps [he]_3250-he did not hear [her]_81-ruth , for [he]_3250-he went on , lashing [himself]_3250-he up . " [I]_3250-he welcomed [her]_{6149-my woman} . [I]_3250-he was duped into allowing [her]_{6149-my woman} bastard--(I sicken at the thought of it)-- "_[3250-he] At the mention of [Leonard]_104-leonard , [Ruth]_81-ruth lifted up [her]_81-ruth eyes for the first time since the conversation began , the pupils dilating , as if [she]_81-ruth were just becoming aware of some new agony in store for [her]_81-ruth . [I]_0-i have seen such a look of terror on [a poor dumb animal]_{3251-a poor dumb animal} 's countenance , and once or twice on human faces . [I]_0-i pray [I]_0-i may never see it again on either ! [Jemima]_217-jemima felt the hand [she]_81-ruth held in [her]_81-ruth strong grasp writhe itself free . [Ruth]_81-ruth spread [her]_81-ruth arms before [her]_81-ruth , clasping and lacing [her]_81-ruth fingers together , [her]_81-ruth head thrown a little back , as if in intensest suffering . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} went on : " [That very child]_{6155-that very child} and [heir of shame]_{6156-heir of shame} to associate with [[my]_{149-mr bradshaw} own innocent children]_{6157-my own innocent children} ! [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} trust [they]_{6157-my own innocent children} are not contaminated . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} can not bear it -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} can not bear it ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} were the words wrung out of [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Can not bear it ! can not bear it ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} repeated . " [You]_81-ruth must bear it , [madam]_4543-madam . Do [you]_81-ruth suppose [[your]_81-ruth child]_{4796-your child} is to be exempt from the penalties of [his]_{4796-your child} birth ? Do [you]_81-ruth suppose that [he]_{4796-your child} alone is to be saved from the upbraiding scoff ? Do [you]_81-ruth suppose that [he]_{4796-your child} is ever to rank with [other boys , who are not stained and marked with sin]_{6160-other boys , who are not stained and marked with sin} from [their]_{6160-other boys , who are not stained and marked with sin} birth ? [Every creature in [Eccleston]_{222-eccleston}]_{6161-every creature in eccleston} may know what [he]_{4796-your child} is ; do [you]_81-ruth think [they]_{6161-every creature in eccleston} will spare [him]_{4796-your child} [their]_{6161-every creature in eccleston} scorn ? ' Can not bear it , ' indeed ! Before [you]_81-ruth went into [your]_81-ruth sin , [you]_81-ruth should have thought whether [you]_81-ruth could bear the consequences or not -- have had some idea how far [[your]_81-ruth offspring]_{6162-your offspring} would be degraded and scouted , till the best thing that could happen to [him]_{4796-your child} would be for [him]_{4796-your child} to be lost to all sense of shame , dead to all knowledge of guilt , for [[his]_{4796-your child} mother]_{655-his mother} 's sake . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Ruth]_81-ruth spoke out . [She]_81-ruth stood like a wild creature at bay , past fear now . " [I]_81-ruth appeal to [God]_104-leonard against such a doom for [[my]_81-ruth child]_{5259-my child} . [I]_81-ruth appeal to [God]_104-leonard to help [me]_81-ruth . [I]_81-ruth am [a mother]_{1536-a mother} , and as such [I]_81-ruth cry to [God]_104-leonard for help -- for help to keep [[my]_81-ruth boy]_{3052-my boy} in [His]_{3052-my boy} pitying sight , and to bring [him]_{3052-my boy} up in [His]_{3052-my boy} holy fear . Let the shame fall on [me]_81-ruth ! [I]_81-ruth have deserved it , but [he]_{3052-my boy} -- [he]_{3052-my boy} is so innocent and good . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth had caught up [her]_81-ruth shawl , and was tying on [her]_81-ruth bonnet with [her]_81-ruth trembling hands . What if [Leonard]_104-leonard was hearing of [her]_81-ruth shame from common report ? What would be the mysterious shock of the intelligence ? [She]_81-ruth must face [him]_104-leonard , and see the look in [his]_104-leonard eyes , before [she]_81-ruth knew whether [he]_104-leonard recoiled from [her]_81-ruth ; [he]_104-leonard might have [his]_104-leonard heart turned to hate [her]_81-ruth , by [their]_3252-their cruel jeers . [Jemima]_217-jemima stood by , dumb and pitying . [Her]_81-ruth sorrow was past [her]_81-ruth power . [She]_81-ruth helped in arranging the dress , with one or two gentle touches , which were hardly felt by [Ruth]_81-ruth , but which called out all [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's ire afresh ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} absolutely took [her]_81-ruth by the shoulders and turned [her]_81-ruth by force out of [the room]_{357-the room} . In [the hall]_{2496-the hall} , and along the stairs , [her]_81-ruth passionate woeful crying was heard . The sound only concentrated [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's anger on [Ruth]_81-ruth . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} held the street - door open wide , and said , between [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} teeth , " If ever [you]_81-ruth , or [[your]_81-ruth bastard]_{6167-your bastard} , darken this door again , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} will have [you]_81-ruth both turned out by [the police]_{6168-the police} ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} need not have added this , if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had seen [Ruth]_81-ruth 's face . CHAPTER XXVII Preparing to Stand on [the Truth]_{62-the truth} As [Ruth]_81-ruth went along [the accustomed streets]_{3255-the accustomed streets} , every sight and every sound seemed to bear a new meaning , and each and all to have some reference to [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} 's disgrace . [She]_81-ruth held [her]_81-ruth head down , and scudded along dizzy with fear , lest some word should have told [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} what [she]_81-ruth had been , and what [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was , before [she]_81-ruth could reach [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . It was a wild , unreasoning fear , but it took hold of [her]_81-ruth as strongly as if it had been well founded . And , indeed , the secret whispered by [Mrs Pearson]_{240-mrs pearson} , whose curiosity and suspicion had been excited by [Jemima]_217-jemima 's manner , and confirmed since by many a little corroborating circumstance , had spread abroad , and was known to most of [the gossips in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{3257-the gossips in eccleston} before it reached [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's ears . As [Ruth]_81-ruth came up to the door of [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house} , it was opened , and [Leonard]_104-leonard came out , bright and hopeful as the morning , [his]_104-leonard face radiant at the prospect of the happy day before [him]_104-leonard . [He]_104-leonard was dressed in the clothes it had been such a pleasant pride to [her]_81-ruth to make for [him]_104-leonard . [He]_104-leonard had the dark blue ribbon tied round [his]_104-leonard neck that [she]_81-ruth had left out for [him]_104-leonard that very morning , with a smiling thought of how it would set off [his]_104-leonard brown , handsome face . [She]_81-ruth caught [him]_104-leonard by the hand as [they]_3259-they met , and turned [him]_104-leonard , with [his]_104-leonard face homewards , without a word . [Her]_81-ruth looks , [her]_81-ruth rushing movement , [her]_81-ruth silence , awed [him]_104-leonard ; and although [he]_104-leonard wondered , [he]_104-leonard did not stay to ask why [she]_81-ruth did so . The door was on the latch ; [she]_81-ruth opened it , and only said , " [Upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , "_[81-ruth] in a hoarse whisper . Up [they]_3259-they went into [[her]_81-ruth own room]_{2447-her own room} . [She]_81-ruth drew [him]_104-leonard in , and bolted the door ; and then , sitting down , [she]_81-ruth placed [him]_104-leonard ( [she]_81-ruth had never let go of [him]_104-leonard ) before [her]_81-ruth , holding [him]_104-leonard with [her]_81-ruth hands on each of [his]_104-leonard shoulders , and gazing into [his]_104-leonard face with a woeful look of the agony that could not find vent in words . At last [she]_81-ruth tried to speak ; [she]_81-ruth tried with strong bodily effort , almost amounting to convulsion . But the words would not come ; it was not till [she]_81-ruth saw the absolute terror depicted on [his]_104-leonard face that [she]_81-ruth found utterance ; and then the sight of that terror changed the words from what [she]_81-ruth meant them to have been . [She]_81-ruth drew [him]_104-leonard to [her]_81-ruth , and laid [her]_81-ruth head upon [his]_104-leonard shoulder ; hiding [her]_81-ruth face even there . " [[My]_81-ruth poor , poor boy]_{6170-my poor , poor boy} ! [[my]_81-ruth poor , poor darling]_{6171-my poor , poor darling} ! Oh ! would that [I]_81-ruth had died -- [I]_81-ruth had died , in [my]_81-ruth innocent girlhood ! "_[81-ruth] " [Mother]_139-mother ! [mother]_4127-mother ! "_{[104-leonard]} sobbed [Leonard]_104-leonard . " What is the matter ? Why do [you]_4127-mother look so wild and ill ? Why do [you]_4127-mother call [me]_104-leonard [[your]_4127-mother ' poor boy]_{6173-your ' poor boy} ' ? Are [we]_6174-we not going to [Scaurside - hill]_{63-scaurside - hill} ? [I]_104-leonard do n't much mind it , [mother]_4127-mother ; only please do n't gasp and quiver so . [Dearest mother]_{6176-dearest mother} , are [you]_4127-mother ill ? Let [me]_104-leonard call [Aunt Faith]_{252-aunt faith} ! "_{[104-leonard]} [Ruth]_81-ruth lifted [herself]_81-ruth up , and put away the hair that had fallen over and was blinding [her]_81-ruth eyes . [She]_81-ruth looked at [him]_104-leonard with intense wistfulness . " Kiss [me]_81-ruth , [Leonard]_104-leonard ! "_[81-ruth] said she--"kiss [me]_104-leonard , [[my]_104-leonard darling]_{4347-my darling} , once more in the old way ! "_{[104-leonard]} [Leonard]_104-leonard threw [himself]_104-leonard into [her]_81-ruth arms and hugged [her]_81-ruth with all [his]_104-leonard force , and [their]_3261-their lips clung together as in the kiss given to [the dying]_{3262-the dying} . " [Leonard]_104-leonard ! "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth at length , holding [him]_104-leonard away from [her]_81-ruth , and nerving [herself]_81-ruth up to tell [him]_104-leonard all by one spasmodic effort--"listen to [me]_{4189-the boy} . "_{[4189-the boy]} [The boy]_{4189-the boy} stood breathless and still , gazing at [her]_81-ruth . On [her]_81-ruth impetuous transit from [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's to [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house}]_{3264-mr bradshaw 's to the chapel - house} , [her]_81-ruth wild , desperate thought had been that [she]_81-ruth would call [herself]_81-ruth by every violent , coarse name which [the world]_{506-the world} might give [her]_81-ruth -- that [Leonard]_104-leonard should hear those words applied to [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} first from [her]_81-ruth own lips ; but the influence of [his]_104-leonard presence -- for [he]_104-leonard was a holy and sacred creature in [her]_81-ruth eyes , and this point remained steadfast , though all the rest were upheaved -- subdued [her]_81-ruth ; and now it seemed as if [she]_81-ruth could not find words fine enough , and pure enough , to convey the truth that [he]_104-leonard must learn , and should learn from no tongue but [hers]_81-ruth . " [Leonard]_104-leonard -- when [I]_81-ruth was very young [I]_81-ruth did very wrong . [I]_81-ruth think [God]_104-leonard , who knows all , will judge [me]_81-ruth more tenderly than [men]_836-men -- but [I]_81-ruth did wrong in a way which [you]_104-leonard can not understand yet "_[81-ruth] ( [she]_81-ruth saw the red flush come into [his]_104-leonard cheek , and it stung [her]_81-ruth as the first token of that shame which was to be [his]_104-leonard portion through life)--"in a way [people]_322-people never forget , never forgive . [You]_104-leonard will hear [me]_81-ruth called the hardest names that ever can be thrown at [women]_4167-women -- [I]_81-ruth have been , to - day ; and , [[my]_81-ruth child]_{5259-my child} , [you]_104-leonard must bear it patiently , because [they]_6182-they will be partly true . Never get confused , by [your]_104-leonard love for [me]_81-ruth , into thinking that what [I]_81-ruth did was right.--Where was [I]_81-ruth ? "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , suddenly faltering , and forgetting all [she]_81-ruth had said and all [she]_81-ruth had got to say ; and then , seeing [Leonard]_104-leonard 's face of wonder , and burning shame and indignation , [she]_81-ruth went on more rapidly , as fearing lest [her]_81-ruth strength should fail before [she]_81-ruth had ended . " And , [Leonard]_104-leonard , "_[81-ruth] continued [she]_81-ruth , in a trembling , sad voice , " this is not all . The punishment of punishments lies awaiting [me]_81-ruth still . It is to see [you]_104-leonard suffer for [my]_81-ruth wrongdoing . Yes , [darling]_4344-darling ! [they]_6182-they will speak shameful things of [you]_104-leonard , [poor innocent child]_{6184-poor innocent child} ! as well as of [me]_81-ruth , who am guilty . [They]_6182-they will throw it in [your]_104-leonard teeth through life , that [[your]_104-leonard mother]_{4264-your mother} was never married -- was not married when [you]_104-leonard were born-- "_[81-ruth] " Were not [you]_104-leonard married ? Are not [you]_3269-her [a widow]_{675-a widow} ? "_[3268-he] asked [he]_3268-he abruptly , for the first time getting anything like a clear idea of the real state of the case . " No ! May [God]_104-leonard forgive [me]_3269-her , and help [me]_3269-her ! "_[3269-her] exclaimed [she]_3269-her , as [she]_3269-her saw a strange look of repugnance cloud over [the boy]_{4189-the boy} 's face , and felt a slight motion on [his]_3268-he part to extricate [himself]_3268-he from [her]_3269-her hold . It was as slight , as transient as it could be -- over in an instant . But [she]_3269-her had taken [her]_3269-her hands away , and covered up [her]_3269-her face with them as quickly -- covered up [her]_3269-her face in shame before [[her]_3269-her child]_{631-her child} ; and in the bitterness of [her]_3269-her heart [she]_3269-her was wailing out , " Oh , would to [God]_104-leonard [I]_3269-her had died -- that [I]_3269-her had died as [a baby]_{4677-a baby} -- that [I]_3269-her had died as [a little baby hanging at [[my]_3269-her mother]_{4247-my mother} 's breast]_{6188-a little baby hanging at my mother 's breast} ! "_[3269-her] " [Mother]_139-mother , "_{[104-leonard]} said [Leonard]_104-leonard , timidly putting [his]_104-leonard hand on [her]_3269-her arm ; but [she]_3269-her shrunk from [him]_104-leonard , and continued [her]_3269-her low , passionate wailing . " [Mother]_139-mother , "_{[104-leonard]} said [he]_104-leonard , after a pause , coming nearer , though [she]_3269-her saw it not--"mammy darling , "_{[104-leonard]} said [he]_104-leonard , using the caressing name , which [he]_104-leonard had been trying to drop as not sufficiently manly , " mammy , [my]_104-leonard own , [own dear]_{6190-own dear} , dear , [darling mother]_{6191-darling mother} , [I]_104-leonard do n't believe [them]_6192-them -- [I]_104-leonard do n't , [I]_104-leonard do n't , [I]_104-leonard do n't , [I]_104-leonard do n't ! "_{[104-leonard]} [He]_104-leonard broke out into a wild burst of crying as [he]_104-leonard said this . In a moment [her]_3269-her arms were round [the poor boy]_{3272-the poor boy} , and [she]_3269-her was hushing [him]_{3272-the poor boy} up like [a baby on [her]_3269-her bosom]_{3273-a baby on her bosom} . " Hush , [Leonard]_104-leonard ! [Leonard]_104-leonard , be still , [[my]_3269-her child]_{5259-my child} ! [I]_3269-her have been too sudden with you!--I have done [you]_104-leonard harm -- oh ! [I]_3269-her have done [you]_104-leonard nothing but harm , "_[3269-her] cried [she]_3269-her , in a tone of bitter self - reproach . " No , [mother]_4127-mother , "_{[104-leonard]} said [he]_104-leonard , stopping [his]_104-leonard tears , and [his]_104-leonard eyes blazing out with earnestness ; " there never was such [a mother]_{1536-a mother} as [you]_104-leonard have been to [me]_104-leonard , and [I]_104-leonard wo n't believe [any one who says it]_{6196-any one who says it} . [I]_104-leonard wo n't ; and [I]_104-leonard 'll knock [them]_6197-them down if [they]_6197-them say it again , [I]_104-leonard will ! "_{[104-leonard]} [He]_104-leonard clenched [his]_104-leonard fist , with a fierce , defiant look on [his]_104-leonard face . " [You]_104-leonard forget , [[my]_81-ruth child]_{5259-my child} , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , in the sweetest , saddest tone that ever was heard , " [I]_81-ruth said it of [myself]_81-ruth ; [I]_81-ruth said it because it was true . "_[81-ruth] [Leonard]_104-leonard threw [his]_104-leonard arms tight round [her]_81-ruth , and hid [his]_104-leonard face against [her]_81-ruth bosom . [She]_81-ruth felt [him]_104-leonard pant there like [some hunted creature]_{3274-some hunted creature} . [She]_81-ruth had no soothing comfort to give [him]_104-leonard . " Oh , that [she]_81-ruth and [he]_104-leonard lay dead ! "_[81-ruth] At last , exhausted , [he]_104-leonard lay so still and motionless , that [she]_81-ruth feared to look . [She]_81-ruth wanted [him]_104-leonard to speak , yet dreaded [his]_104-leonard first words . [She]_81-ruth kissed [his]_104-leonard hair , [his]_104-leonard head , [his]_104-leonard very clothes , murmuring low , inarticulate , moaning sounds . " [Leonard]_104-leonard , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , " [Leonard]_104-leonard , look up at [me]_81-ruth ! [Leonard]_104-leonard , look up ! "_[81-ruth] But [he]_104-leonard only clung the closer , and hid [his]_104-leonard face the more . " [[My]_81-ruth boy]_{3052-my boy} ! "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , " what can [I]_81-ruth do or say ? If [I]_81-ruth tell [you]_{3052-my boy} never to mind it -- that it is nothing -- [I]_81-ruth tell [you]_{3052-my boy} false . It is a bitter shame and a sorrow that [I]_81-ruth have drawn down upon [you]_{3052-my boy} . A shame , [Leonard]_104-leonard , because of [me]_81-ruth , [[your]_{3052-my boy} mother]_{4264-your mother} ; but , [Leonard]_104-leonard , it is no disgrace or lowering of [you]_{3052-my boy} in the eyes of [God]_104-leonard . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth spoke now as if [she]_81-ruth had found the clue which might lead [him]_104-leonard to rest and strength at last . " Remember that , always . Remember that , when the time of trial comes -- and it seems a hard and cruel thing that [you]_{3052-my boy} should be called reproachful names by [men]_836-men , and all for what was no fault of [yours]_{3052-my boy} -- remember [God]_104-leonard 's pity and [God]_104-leonard 's justice ; and though [my]_81-ruth sin shall have made [you]_{3052-my boy} [an outcast in [the world]_{506-the world}]_{6202-an outcast in the world} -- oh , [[my]_81-ruth child]_{5259-my child} , [my]_81-ruth child!"--(she_[81-ruth] felt [him]_104-leonard kiss [her]_81-ruth , as if mutely trying to comfort [her]_81-ruth -- it gave [her]_81-ruth strength to go on)--"remember , darling of [my]_104-leonard heart , it is only [your]_{3052-my boy} own sin that can make [you]_{3052-my boy} [an outcast]_{1413-an outcast} from [God]_104-leonard . "_{[104-leonard]} [She]_81-ruth grew so faint that [her]_81-ruth hold of [him]_104-leonard relaxed . [He]_104-leonard looked up affrighted . [He]_104-leonard brought [her]_81-ruth water -- [he]_104-leonard threw it over [her]_81-ruth ; in [his]_104-leonard terror at the notion that [she]_81-ruth was going to die and leave [him]_104-leonard , [he]_104-leonard called [her]_81-ruth by every fond name , imploring [her]_81-ruth to open [her]_81-ruth eyes . When [she]_81-ruth partially recovered , [he]_104-leonard helped [her]_81-ruth to the bed , on which [she]_81-ruth lay still , wan and death - like . [She]_81-ruth almost hoped the swoon that hung around [her]_81-ruth might be Death , and in that imagination [she]_81-ruth opened [her]_81-ruth eyes to take a last look at [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} . [She]_81-ruth saw [him]_{2051-her boy} pale and terror - stricken ; and pity for [his]_{2051-her boy} affright roused [her]_81-ruth , and made [her]_81-ruth forget [herself]_81-ruth in the wish that [he]_104-leonard should not see [her]_81-ruth death , if [she]_81-ruth were indeed dying . " Go to [Aunt Faith]_{252-aunt faith} ! "_[81-ruth] whispered [she]_81-ruth ; " [I]_81-ruth am weary , and want sleep . "_[81-ruth] [Leonard]_104-leonard arose slowly and reluctantly . [She]_81-ruth tried to smile upon [him]_104-leonard , that what [she]_81-ruth thought would be [her]_81-ruth last look might dwell in [his]_104-leonard remembrance as tender and strong ; [she]_81-ruth watched [him]_104-leonard to the door ; [she]_81-ruth saw [him]_104-leonard hesitate , and return to [her]_81-ruth . [He]_104-leonard came back to [her]_81-ruth , and said in a timid , apprehensive tone : " [Mother]_139-mother -- will _ [they]_3276-they _ speak to [me]_104-leonard about -- it ? "_{[104-leonard]} [Ruth]_81-ruth closed [her]_81-ruth eyes , that [they]_3276-they might not express the agony [she]_81-ruth felt , like a sharp knife , at this question . [Leonard]_104-leonard had asked it with [a child]_{556-a child} 's desire of avoiding painful and mysterious topics,--from no personal sense of shame as [she]_81-ruth understood it , shame beginning thus early , thus instantaneously . " No , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth replied . " [You]_139-mother may be sure [they]_3276-they will not . "_[81-ruth] So [he]_104-leonard went . But now [she]_81-ruth would have been thankful for the unconsciousness of fainting ; that one little speech bore so much meaning to [her]_81-ruth hot , irritable brain . [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , all in [[their]_3278-their house]_{2740-their house} , would never speak to [the boy]_{4189-the boy} -- but in [[his]_{4189-the boy} home]_{4184-his home} alone would [he]_{4189-the boy} be safe from what [he]_{4189-the boy} had already learnt to dread . Every form in which shame and opprobrium could overwhelm [[her]_81-ruth darling]_{1704-her darling} , haunted [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth had been exercising strong self - control for [his]_{4189-the boy} sake ever since [she]_81-ruth had met [him]_{4189-the boy} at the house - door ; there was now a reaction . [His]_{4189-the boy} presence had kept [her]_81-ruth mind on its perfect balance . When that was withdrawn , the effect of the strain of power was felt . And athwart the fever - mists that arose to obscure [her]_81-ruth judgment , all sorts of will - o'-the - wisp plans flittered before [her]_81-ruth ; tempting [her]_81-ruth to this and that course of action -- to anything rather than patient endurance -- to relieve [her]_81-ruth present state of misery by some sudden spasmodic effort , that took the semblance of being wise and right . Gradually all [her]_81-ruth desires , all [her]_81-ruth longing , settled themselves on one point . What had [she]_81-ruth done -- what could [she]_81-ruth do , to [Leonard]_104-leonard , but evil ? If [she]_81-ruth were away , and gone [no one]_{517-no one} knew where -- lost in mystery , as if [she]_81-ruth were dead -- perhaps the cruel hearts might relent , and show pity on [Leonard]_104-leonard ; while [her]_81-ruth perpetual presence would but call up the remembrance of [his]_104-leonard birth . Thus [she]_81-ruth reasoned in [her]_81-ruth hot , dull brain ; and shaped [her]_81-ruth plans in accordance . [Leonard]_104-leonard stole [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} noiselessly . [He]_104-leonard listened to find some quiet place where [he]_104-leonard could hide [himself]_104-leonard . [The house]_{426-the house} was very still . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} thought the purposed expedition had taken place , and never dreamed but that [Ruth]_81-ruth and [Leonard]_104-leonard were on [distant , sunny Scaurside - hill]_{3286-distant , sunny scaurside - hill} ; and after a very early dinner , [she]_81-ruth had set out to drink tea with [[a farmer]_{728-a farmer} 's wife]_{729-a farmer 's wife} who lived in [the country]_{514-the country} two or three miles off . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} meant to have gone with [her]_81-ruth ; but while [they]_3290-they were at dinner , [he]_{143-mr benson} had received an unusually authoritative note from [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} desiring to speak with [him]_{143-mr benson} , so [he]_{143-mr benson} went to [[that gentleman]_{5711-that gentleman} 's house]_{3292-that gentleman 's house} instead . [Sally]_148-sally was busy in [[her]_148-sally kitchen]_{1778-her kitchen} , making a great noise ( not unlike [a groom rubbing down a horse]_{3294-a groom rubbing down a horse} ) over [her]_148-sally cleaning . [Leonard]_104-leonard stole into [the sitting - room]_{1155-the sitting - room} , and crouched behind the large old - fashioned sofa to ease [his]_104-leonard sore , aching heart , by crying with all the prodigal waste and abandonment of childhood . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was shown into [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's own particular room]_{3296-mr bradshaw 's own particular room} . [The latter gentleman]_{3297-the latter gentleman} was walking up and down , and it was easy to perceive that something had occurred to chafe [him]_{3297-the latter gentleman} to great anger . " Sit down , [sir]_4181-sir ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , nodding to a chair . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} sat down . But [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} continued [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} walk for a few minutes longer without speaking . Then [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} stopped abruptly , right in front of [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; and in a voice which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} tried to render calm , but which trembled with passion -- with a face glowing purple as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wrongs ( and real wrongs they were ) , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} began : " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have sent for [you]_{143-mr benson} to ask -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am almost too indignant at the bare suspicion to speak as becomes [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} -- but did [you]_{143-mr benson} -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} really shall be obliged to beg [your]_{143-mr benson} pardon , if [you]_{143-mr benson} are as much in the dark as [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} was yesterday as to the character of [that woman who lives under [your]_{143-mr benson} roof]_{6207-that woman who lives under your roof} ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} There was no answer from [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} looked at [him]_{143-mr benson} very earnestly . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} eyes were fixed on the ground -- [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} made no inquiry -- [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} uttered no expression of wonder or dismay . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ground [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} foot on the floor with gathering rage ; but just as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was about to speak , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} rose up -- [a poor deformed old man]_{3298-a poor deformed old man} -- before [the stern and portly figure that was swelling and panting with passion]_{3299-the stern and portly figure that was swelling and panting with passion} . " Hear [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [sir]_4181-sir ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} ( stretching out [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} hand as if to avert the words which were impending ) . " Nothing [you]_4181-sir can say , can upbraid [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} like [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} own conscience ; no degradation [you]_4181-sir can inflict , by word or deed , can come up to the degradation [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have suffered for years , at being [a party to a deceit]_{6209-a party to a deceit} , even for a good end-- "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " For a good end!--Nay ! what next ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} The taunting contempt with which [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke these words almost surprised [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} by what [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} imagined must be its successful power of withering ; but in spite of it , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} lifted [his]_{143-mr benson} grave eyes to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's countenance , and repeated : " For a good end . The end was not , as perhaps [you]_4181-sir consider it to have been , to obtain [her]_6210-her admission into [[your]_4181-sir family]_{6211-your family} -- nor yet to put [her]_6210-her in the way of gaining [her]_6210-her livelihood ; [[my]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{5054-my sister} and [I]_{143-mr benson} would willingly have shared what [we]_6213-we have with [her]_6210-her ; it was [our]_6213-we intention to do so at first , if not for any length of time , at least as long as [her]_6210-her health might require it . Why [I]_{143-mr benson} advised ( perhaps [I]_{143-mr benson} only yielded to advice ) a change of name -- an assumption of a false state of widowhood -- was because [I]_{143-mr benson} earnestly desired to place [her]_6210-her in circumstances in which [she]_6210-her might work out [her]_6210-her self - redemption ; and [you]_4181-sir , [sir]_4181-sir , know how terribly [the world]_{506-the world} goes against all such as have sinned as [Ruth]_81-ruth did . [She]_6210-her was so young , too . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [You]_4181-sir mistake , [sir]_4181-sir ; [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} acquaintance has not lain so much among [that class of [sinners]_6047-sinners]_{6217-that class of sinners} as to give [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} much experience of the way in which [they]_{6217-that class of sinners} are treated . But , judging from what [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have seen , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} should say [they]_{6217-that class of sinners} meet with full as much leniency as [they]_{6217-that class of sinners} deserve ; and supposing [they]_{6217-that class of sinners} do not -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} know there are [plenty of sickly sentimentalists just now who reserve all [their]_{6219-plenty of sickly sentimentalists just now who reserve all their interest and regard for criminals} interest and regard for [criminals]_{6220-criminals}]_{6219-plenty of sickly sentimentalists just now who reserve all their interest and regard for criminals} -- why not pick out one of these to help [you]_4181-sir in [your]_4181-sir task of washing the blackamoor white ? Why choose [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} to be imposed upon -- [[my]_{149-mr bradshaw} household]_{6221-my household} into which to intrude [[your]_4181-sir protégée]_{6222-your protégée} ? Why were [[my]_{149-mr bradshaw} innocent children]_{6223-my innocent children} to be exposed to corruption ? [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} say , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , stamping [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} foot , " how dared [you]_4181-sir come into [this house]_{4203-this house} , where [you]_4181-sir were looked upon as [a minister of religion]_{6225-a minister of religion} , with a lie in [your]_4181-sir mouth ? How dared [you]_4181-sir single [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} out , of [all people]_{6226-all people} , to be gulled and deceived , and pointed at through [the town]_{396-the town} as [the person who had taken [an abandoned woman]_{6229-an abandoned woman} into [[his]_{6228-the person who had taken an abandoned woman into his house to teach his daughters} house]_{2164-his house} to teach [[his]_{6228-the person who had taken an abandoned woman into his house to teach his daughters} daughters]_{5539-his daughters}]_{6228-the person who had taken an abandoned woman into his house to teach his daughters} ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} own [my]_{143-mr benson} deceit was wrong and faithless . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes ! [you]_4181-sir can own it , now it is found out ! There is small merit in that , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} think ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [Sir]_4181-sir ! [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} claim no merit . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} take shame to [myself]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not single [you]_4181-sir out . [You]_4181-sir applied to [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} with [your]_4181-sir proposal that [Ruth]_81-ruth should be [[your]_4181-sir children 's governess]_{6233-your children 's governess} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " Pah ! "_{[143-mr benson]} " And the temptation was too great-- No ! [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} will not say that -- but the temptation was greater than [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} could stand -- it seemed to open out a path of usefulness . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " Now , do n't let [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} hear [you]_4181-sir speak so , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , blazing up . " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} ca n't stand it . It is too much to talk in that way when the usefulness was to consist in contaminating [[my]_{149-mr bradshaw} innocent girls]_{6234-my innocent girls} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [God]_104-leonard knows that if [I]_{143-mr benson} had believed there had been any danger of such contamination -- [God]_104-leonard knows how [I]_{143-mr benson} would have died sooner than have allowed [her]_81-ruth to enter [[your]_4181-sir family]_{6211-your family} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} believe [me]_{143-mr benson} , do n't [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , earnestly . " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} really must be allowed the privilege of doubting what [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} say in future , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , in a cold , contemptuous manner . " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have deserved this , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} replied . " But , "_{[143-mr benson]} continued [he]_{143-mr benson} , after a moment 's pause , " [I]_{143-mr benson} will not speak of [myself]_{143-mr benson} , but of [Ruth]_81-ruth . Surely , [sir]_4181-sir , the end [I]_{143-mr benson} aimed at ( the means [I]_{143-mr benson} took to obtain it were wrong ; [you]_4181-sir can not feel that more than [I]_{143-mr benson} do ) was a right one ; and [you]_4181-sir will not -- [you]_4181-sir can not say , that [[your]_4181-sir children]_{6237-your children} have suffered from associating with [her]_81-ruth . [I]_{143-mr benson} had [her]_81-ruth in [[my]_{143-mr benson} family]_{6135-my family} , under the watchful eyes of [three anxious persons]_{6239-three anxious persons} for a year or more ; [we]_6240-we saw faults -- [no human being]_{6241-no human being} is without [them]_6242-them -- and poor [Ruth]_81-ruth 's were but slight venial errors ; but [we]_6240-we saw no sign of a corrupt mind -- no glimpse of boldness or forwardness -- no token of want of conscientiousness ; [she]_81-ruth seemed , and was , [a young and gentle girl]_{6243-a young and gentle girl} , who had been led astray before [she]_81-ruth fairly knew what life was . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} suppose [most depraved women]_{6244-most depraved women} have been innocent in [their]_{6244-most depraved women} time , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , with bitter contempt . " Oh , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ! [Ruth]_81-ruth was not depraved , and [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} know it . [You]_{149-mr bradshaw} can not have seen [her]_81-ruth -- have known [her]_81-ruth daily , all these years , without acknowledging that ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was almost breathless , awaiting [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's answer . The quiet self - control which [he]_{143-mr benson} had maintained so long , was gone now . " [I]_{143-mr benson} saw [her]_81-ruth daily -- [I]_{143-mr benson} did _ not _ know [her]_81-ruth . If [I]_{143-mr benson} had known [her]_81-ruth , [I]_{143-mr benson} should have known [she]_81-ruth was fallen and depraved , and consequently not fit to come into [[my]_{143-mr benson} house]_{4340-my house} , nor to associate with [[my]_{143-mr benson} pure children]_{6246-my pure children} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Now [I]_{143-mr benson} wish [God]_104-leonard would give [me]_{143-mr benson} power to speak out convincingly what [I]_{143-mr benson} believe to be [His]_104-leonard truth , that [not every woman who has fallen]_{6247-not every woman who has fallen} is depraved ; that many -- how many the Great Judgment Day will reveal to [those who have shaken off the poor , sore , penitent hearts on [earth]_2018-earth]_{6248-those who have shaken off the poor , sore , penitent hearts on earth} -- [many , many crave and hunger]_{6250-many , many crave and hunger} after a chance for virtue -- the help which [no man]_{4312-no man} gives to [them]_{6248-those who have shaken off the poor , sore , penitent hearts on earth} -- help -- that gentle , tender help which [Jesus]_181-christ gave once to [Mary Magdalen]_118-mary . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was almost choked by [his]_{143-mr benson} own feelings . " Come , come , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , let [us]_6252-we have no more of this morbid way of talking . [The world]_{506-the world} has decided how [such women]_{6254-such women} are to be treated ; and , [you]_{143-mr benson} may depend upon it , there is so much practical wisdom in [the world]_{506-the world} that its way of acting is right in the long run , and that [no one]_{517-no one} can fly in [its]_{506-the world} face with impunity , unless , indeed , [they]_{6254-such women} stoop to deceit and imposition . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} take [my]_{143-mr benson} stand with [Christ]_181-christ against [the world]_{506-the world} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , solemnly , disregarding the covert allusion to [himself]_{143-mr benson} . " What have [the world]_{506-the world} 's ways ended in ? Can [we]_6252-we be much worse than [we]_6252-we are ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Speak for [yourself]_{143-mr benson} , if [you]_{143-mr benson} please . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Is it not time to change some of [our]_6252-we ways of thinking and acting ? [I]_{143-mr benson} declare before [God]_104-leonard , that if [I]_{143-mr benson} believe in any one human truth , it is this -- that to [every woman who , like [Ruth]_81-ruth , has sinned]_{6259-every woman who , like ruth , has sinned} , should be given a chance of self - redemption -- and that such a chance should be given in no supercilious or contemptuous manner , but in the spirit of [the holy Christ]_{6260-the holy christ} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Such as getting [her]_81-ruth into [[a friend]_{672-a friend} 's house]_{6262-a friend 's house} under false colours . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} do not argue on [Ruth]_81-ruth 's case . In that [I]_{143-mr benson} have acknowledged [my]_{143-mr benson} error . [I]_{143-mr benson} do not argue on any case . [I]_{143-mr benson} state [my]_{143-mr benson} firm belief , that it is [God]_104-leonard 's will that [we]_6252-we should not dare to trample any of [[His]_104-leonard creatures]_{6263-his creatures} down to the hopeless dust ; that it is [God]_104-leonard 's will that [the women who have fallen]_{6264-the women who have fallen} should be numbered among [those who have broken hearts to be bound up , not cast aside as lost beyond recall]_{6265-those who have broken hearts to be bound up , not cast aside as lost beyond recall} . If this be [God]_104-leonard 's will , as a thing of [God]_104-leonard it will stand ; and [He]_104-leonard will open a way . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} should have attached much more importance to all [your]_{143-mr benson} exhortation on this point if [I]_{143-mr benson} could have respected [your]_{143-mr benson} conduct in other matters . As it is , when [I]_{143-mr benson} see [a man who has deluded [himself]_{6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right} into considering falsehood right]_{6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right} , [I]_{143-mr benson} am disinclined to take [his]_{6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right} opinion on subjects connected with morality ; and [I]_{143-mr benson} can no longer regard [him]_{6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right} as a fitting exponent of the will of [God]_104-leonard . [You]_{143-mr benson} perhaps understand what [I]_{143-mr benson} mean , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [I]_{143-mr benson} can no longer attend [[your]_{143-mr benson} chapel]_{6267-your chapel} . "_{[143-mr benson]} If [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had felt any hope of making [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's obstinate mind receive the truth , that [he]_{143-mr benson} acknowledged and repented of [his]_{143-mr benson} connivance at the falsehood by means of which [Ruth]_81-ruth had been received into [the Bradshaw family]_{3300-the bradshaw family} , this last sentence prevented [his]_{143-mr benson} making the attempt . [He]_{143-mr benson} simply bowed and took [his]_{143-mr benson} leave -- [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} attending [him]_{143-mr benson} to the door with formal ceremony . [He]_{143-mr benson} felt acutely the severance of the tie which [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had just announced to [him]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{143-mr benson} had experienced many mortifications in [his]_{143-mr benson} intercourse with [that gentleman]_{5711-that gentleman} , but they had fallen off from [his]_{143-mr benson} meek spirit like drops of water from a bird 's plumage ; and now [he]_{143-mr benson} only remembered the acts of substantial kindness rendered ( the ostentation all forgotten)--many happy hours and pleasant evenings -- [the children whom [he]_{143-mr benson} had loved dearer than [he]_{143-mr benson} thought till now]_{3302-the children whom he had loved dearer than he thought till now} -- [the young people about whom [he]_{143-mr benson} had cared , and whom [he]_{143-mr benson} had striven to lead aright]_{3303-the young people about whom he had cared , and whom he had striven to lead aright} . [He]_{143-mr benson} was but [a young man]_{824-a young man} when [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} first came to [[his]_{143-mr benson} chapel]_{3305-his chapel} ; [they]_3306-they had grown old together ; [he]_{143-mr benson} had never recognised [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} as [an old familiar friend]_{3307-an old familiar friend} so completely as now when [they]_3306-they were severed . It was with a heavy heart that [he]_{143-mr benson} opened [his]_{143-mr benson} own door . [He]_{143-mr benson} went to [[his]_{143-mr benson} study]_{1727-his study} immediately ; [he]_{143-mr benson} sat down to steady [himself]_{143-mr benson} into [his]_{143-mr benson} position . How long [he]_{143-mr benson} was [there]_332-there -- silent and alone -- reviewing [his]_{143-mr benson} life -- confessing [his]_{143-mr benson} sins -- [he]_{143-mr benson} did not know ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} heard some unusual sound in [the house]_{426-the house} that disturbed [him]_{143-mr benson} -- roused [him]_{143-mr benson} to present life . A slow , languid step came along [the passage]_{1842-the passage} to the front door -- the breathing was broken by many sighs . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's hand was on the latch when [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} came out . [Her]_81-ruth face was very white , except two red spots on each cheek -- [her]_81-ruth eyes were deep - sunk and hollow , but glittered with feverish lustre . " [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_{[143-mr benson]} exclaimed [he]_{143-mr benson} . [She]_81-ruth moved [her]_81-ruth lips , but [her]_81-ruth throat and mouth were too dry for [her]_81-ruth to speak . " Where are [you]_81-ruth going ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [he]_{143-mr benson} ; for [she]_81-ruth had all [her]_81-ruth walking things on , yet trembled so , even as [she]_81-ruth stood , that it was evident [she]_81-ruth could not walk far without falling . [She]_81-ruth hesitated -- [she]_81-ruth looked up at [him]_{143-mr benson} , still with the same dry glittering eyes . At last [she]_81-ruth whispered ( for [she]_81-ruth could only speak in a whisper ) , " To [Helmsby]_253-helmsby -- [I]_81-ruth am going to [Helmsby]_253-helmsby . "_[81-ruth] " [Helmsby]_253-helmsby ! [[my]_81-ruth poor girl]_{4358-my poor girl} -- may [God]_104-leonard have mercy upon [you]_{4358-my poor girl} ! "_[81-ruth] for [he]_{143-mr benson} saw [she]_81-ruth hardly knew what [she]_81-ruth was saying . " Where is [Helmsby]_253-helmsby ? "_[81-ruth] " [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't know . In [Lincolnshire]_{65-lincolnshire} , [I]_{143-mr benson} think . "_{[143-mr benson]} " But why are [you]_{4358-my poor girl} going [there]_332-there ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Hush]_115-hush ! [he]_{143-mr benson} 's asleep , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , as [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had unconsciously raised [his]_{143-mr benson} voice . " Who is asleep ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [That poor little boy]_{6270-that poor little boy} , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , beginning to quiver and cry . " Come here ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , authoritatively , drawing [her]_81-ruth into [the study]_{1738-the study} . " Sit down in that chair . [I]_{143-mr benson} will come back directly . "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} went in search of [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , but [she]_81-ruth had not returned . Then [he]_{143-mr benson} had recourse to [Sally]_148-sally , who was as busy as ever about [her]_148-sally cleaning . " How long has [Ruth]_81-ruth been at [home]_4124-home ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [he]_{143-mr benson} . " [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [She]_81-ruth has never been at [home]_4124-home sin ' morning . [She]_81-ruth and [Leonard]_104-leonard were to be off for the day somewhere or other with [[them]_6273-them [Bradshaw girls]_{6275-bradshaw girls}]_{6274-them bradshaw girls} . "_[148-sally] " Then [she]_81-ruth has had no dinner ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Not [here]_4172-here , at any rate . [I]_148-sally ca n't answer for what [she]_81-ruth may have done at other places . "_[148-sally] " And [Leonard]_104-leonard -- where is [he]_104-leonard ? "_[148-sally] " How should [I]_3314-i know ? With [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} , [I]_3314-i suppose . Leastways , that was what was fixed on . [I]_3314-i 've enough to do of [my]_3314-i own , without routing after [other folks]_{4835-other folks} . "_[3314-i] [She]_3314-i went on scouring in no very good temper . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} stood silent for a moment . " [Sally]_148-sally , "_{[143-mr benson]} [he]_{143-mr benson} said , " [I]_{143-mr benson} want a cup of tea . Will [you]_148-sally make it as soon as [you]_148-sally can ; and some dry toast too ? [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll come for it in ten minutes . "_{[143-mr benson]} Struck by something in [his]_{143-mr benson} voice , [she]_3314-i looked up at [him]_{143-mr benson} for the first time . " What [ha]_6279-ha ' [ye]_{143-mr benson} been doing to [yourself]_{143-mr benson} , to look so grim and grey ? Tiring [yourself]_{143-mr benson} all to tatters , looking after some naught , [I]_3314-i 'll be bound ! Well ! well ! [I]_3314-i mun make [ye]_{143-mr benson} [your]_{143-mr benson} tea , [I]_3314-i reckon ; but [I]_3314-i did hope as [you]_{143-mr benson} grew older [you]_{143-mr benson} 'd [ha]_6280-ha ' grown wiser ! "_[3314-i] [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} made no reply , but went to look for [Leonard]_104-leonard , hoping that [the child]_{565-the child} 's presence might bring back to [[his]_{565-the child} mother]_{655-his mother} the power of self - control . [He]_{143-mr benson} opened the parlour - door , and looked in , but saw [no one]_{517-no one} . Just as [he]_{143-mr benson} was shutting it , however , [he]_{143-mr benson} heard a deep , broken , sobbing sigh ; and , guided by the sound , [he]_{143-mr benson} found [the boy]_{4189-the boy} lying on the floor , fast asleep , but with [his]_{4189-the boy} features all swollen and disfigured by passionate crying . " [Poor child]_{4142-poor child} ! This was what [she]_{655-his mother} meant , then , "_{[143-mr benson]} thought [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [He]_{4189-the boy} has begun [his]_{4189-the boy} share of the sorrows too , "_{[143-mr benson]} [he]_{143-mr benson} continued , pitifully . " No ! [I]_{143-mr benson} will not waken [him]_{4189-the boy} back to consciousness . "_{[143-mr benson]} So [he]_{143-mr benson} returned alone into [the study]_{1738-the study} . [Ruth]_81-ruth sat where [he]_{143-mr benson} had placed [her]_81-ruth , [her]_81-ruth head bent back , and [her]_81-ruth eyes shut . But when [he]_{143-mr benson} came in [she]_81-ruth started up . " [I]_81-ruth must be going , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth said , in a hurried way . " Nay , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth must not go . [You]_81-ruth must not leave [us]_6282-we . [We]_6282-we can not do without [you]_81-ruth . [We]_6282-we love [you]_81-ruth too much . "_[81-ruth] " Love [me]_81-ruth ! "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , looking at [him]_{143-mr benson} wistfully . As [she]_81-ruth looked , [her]_81-ruth eyes filled slowly with tears . It was a good sign , and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} took heart to go on . " Yes ! [Ruth]_81-ruth . [You]_81-ruth know [we]_6282-we do . [You]_81-ruth may have other things to fill up [your]_81-ruth mind just now , but [you]_81-ruth know [we]_6282-we love [you]_81-ruth ; and nothing can alter [our]_6282-we love for [you]_81-ruth . [You]_81-ruth ought not to have thought of leaving [us]_6282-we . [You]_81-ruth would not , if [you]_81-ruth had been quite well . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Do [you]_{143-mr benson} know what has happened ? "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth asked , in a low , hoarse voice . " Yes . [I]_{143-mr benson} know all , "_{[143-mr benson]} [he]_{143-mr benson} answered . " It makes no difference to [us]_6282-we . Why should it ? "_[81-ruth] " Oh ! [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , do n't [you]_{143-mr benson} know that [my]_81-ruth shame is discovered ? "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth replied , bursting into tears--"and [I]_81-ruth must leave [you]_{143-mr benson} , and leave [Leonard]_104-leonard , that [you]_{143-mr benson} may not share in [my]_81-ruth disgrace . "_[81-ruth] " [You]_{143-mr benson} must do no such thing . Leave [Leonard]_104-leonard ! [You]_{143-mr benson} have no right to leave [Leonard]_104-leonard . Where could [you]_{143-mr benson} go to ? "_[81-ruth] " To [Helmsby]_253-helmsby , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth said , humbly . " It would break [my]_81-ruth heart to go , but [I]_81-ruth think [I]_81-ruth ought , for [Leonard]_104-leonard 's sake . [I]_81-ruth know [I]_81-ruth ought . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth was crying sadly by this time , but [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} knew the flow of tears would ease [her]_81-ruth brain . " It will break [my]_{143-mr benson} heart to go , but [I]_{143-mr benson} know [I]_{143-mr benson} must . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Sit still [here]_4172-here at present , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , in a decided tone of command . [He]_{143-mr benson} went for the cup of tea . [He]_{143-mr benson} brought it to [her]_81-ruth without [Sally]_148-sally 's being aware for whom it was intended . " Drink this ! "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} spoke as [you]_3320-you would do to [a child , if desiring it to take medicine]_{3321-a child , if desiring it to take medicine} . " Eat some toast . "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth took the tea , and drank it feverishly ; but when [she]_81-ruth tried to eat , the food seemed to choke [her]_81-ruth . Still [she]_81-ruth was docile , and [she]_81-ruth tried . " [I]_81-ruth can not , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth at last , putting down the piece of toast . There was a return to something of [her]_81-ruth usual tone in the words . [She]_81-ruth spoke gently and softly ; no longer in the shrill , hoarse voice [she]_81-ruth had used at first . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} sat down by [her]_81-ruth . " Now , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [we]_6284-we must talk a little together . [I]_{143-mr benson} want to understand what [your]_81-ruth plan was . Where is [Helmsby]_253-helmsby ? Why did [you]_81-ruth fix to go [there]_332-there ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " It is where [[my]_81-ruth mother]_{4247-my mother} lived , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth answered . " Before [she]_{4247-my mother} was married [she]_{4247-my mother} lived [there]_332-there ; and wherever [she]_{4247-my mother} lived , [the people]_{460-the people} all loved [her]_{4247-my mother} dearly ; and [I]_81-ruth thought -- [I]_81-ruth think , that for [her]_{4247-my mother} sake [some one]_{378-some one} would give [me]_81-ruth work . [I]_81-ruth meant to tell [them]_{460-the people} the truth , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , dropping [her]_81-ruth eyes ; " but still [they]_{460-the people} would , perhaps , give [me]_81-ruth some employment -- [I]_81-ruth do n't care what -- for [her]_{4247-my mother} sake . [I]_81-ruth could do many things , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , suddenly looking up . " [I]_81-ruth am sure [I]_81-ruth could weed -- [I]_81-ruth could in [gardens]_6290-gardens -- if [they]_{460-the people} did not like to have [me]_81-ruth in [[their]_{460-the people} houses]_{6291-their houses} . But perhaps [some one]_{378-some one} , for [[my]_81-ruth mother]_{4247-my mother} 's sake -- oh ! [[my]_81-ruth dear]_{4145-my dear} , dear mother!--do [you]_{4145-my dear} know where and what [I]_81-ruth am ? "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth cried out , sobbing afresh . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's heart was very sore , though [he]_{143-mr benson} spoke authoritatively , and almost sternly . " [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [you]_81-ruth must be still and quiet . [I]_{143-mr benson} can not have this . [I]_{143-mr benson} want [you]_81-ruth to listen to [me]_{143-mr benson} . [Your]_81-ruth thought of [Helmsby]_253-helmsby would be a good one , if it was right for [you]_81-ruth to leave [Eccleston]_36-eccleston ; but [I]_{143-mr benson} do not think it is . [I]_{143-mr benson} am certain of this , that it would be a great sin in [you]_81-ruth to separate [yourself]_81-ruth from [Leonard]_104-leonard . [You]_81-ruth have no right to sever the tie by which [God]_104-leonard has bound [you]_81-ruth together . "_{[143-mr benson]} " But if [I]_{143-mr benson} am [here]_4172-here [they]_6296-they will all know and remember the shame of [his]_104-leonard birth ; and if [I]_{143-mr benson} go away [they]_6296-they may forget-- "_{[143-mr benson]} " And [they]_6296-they may not . And if [you]_81-ruth go away , [he]_104-leonard may be unhappy or ill ; and [you]_81-ruth , who above all others have -- and have from [God]_104-leonard -- remember _ that _ , [Ruth!--the]_{254-ruth!--the} power to comfort [him]_104-leonard , the tender patience to nurse [him]_104-leonard , have left [him]_104-leonard to the care of [strangers]_{5548-strangers} . Yes ; [I]_3322-he know ! But [we]_6298-we [ourselves]_6298-we are as [strangers]_{5548-strangers} , dearly as [we]_6298-we love [him]_104-leonard , compared to [a mother]_{1536-a mother} . [He]_104-leonard may turn to sin , and want the long forbearance , the serene authority of [a parent]_{6301-a parent} ; and where are [you]_3323-you ? No dread of shame , either for [yourself]_3323-you , or even for [him]_104-leonard , can ever make it right for [you]_3323-you to shake off [your]_3323-you responsibility . "_[3322-he] All this time [he]_3322-he was watching [her]_3323-you narrowly , and saw [her]_3323-you slowly yield [herself]_3323-you up to the force of what [he]_3322-he was saying . " Besides , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[3322-he] [he]_3322-he continued , " [we]_6298-we have gone on falsely hitherto . It has been [my]_3324-my doing , [my]_3324-my mistake , [my]_3324-my sin . [I]_3324-my ought to have known better . Now , let [us]_6298-we stand firm on the truth . [You]_81-ruth have no new fault to repent of . Be brave and faithful . It is to [God]_104-leonard [you]_81-ruth answer , not to [men]_836-men . The shame of having [your]_81-ruth sin known to [the world]_{506-the world} , should be as nothing to the shame [you]_81-ruth felt at having sinned . [We]_6298-we have dreaded [men]_836-men too much , and [God]_104-leonard too little , in the course [we]_6298-we have taken . But now be of good cheer . Perhaps [you]_81-ruth will have to find [your]_81-ruth work in [the world]_{506-the world} very low -- not quite working in [the fields]_{958-the fields} , "_[3324-my] said [he]_3324-my , with a gentle smile , to which [she]_3325-she , downcast and miserable , could give no response . " Nay , perhaps , [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[3324-my] [he]_3324-my went on , " [you]_81-ruth may have to stand and wait for some time ; [no one]_{517-no one} may be willing to use the services [you]_81-ruth would gladly render ; all may turn aside from [you]_81-ruth , and may speak very harshly of [you]_81-ruth . Can [you]_81-ruth accept all this treatment meekly , as but the reasonable and just penance [God]_104-leonard has laid upon [you]_81-ruth -- feeling no anger against [those who slight [you]_81-ruth]_{6308-those who slight you} , no impatience for the time to come ( and come it surely will -- [I]_3324-my speak as having the word of [God]_104-leonard for what [I]_3324-my say ) when [He]_104-leonard , having purified [you]_81-ruth , even as by fire , will make a straight path for [your]_81-ruth feet ? [[My]_3324-my child]_{5259-my child} , it is [[Christ]_181-christ [the Lord]_{4327-the lord} who has told [us]_6312-us of this infinite mercy of [God]_104-leonard]_{6310-christ the lord who has told us of this infinite mercy of god} . Have [you]_81-ruth faith enough in it to be brave , and bear on , and do rightly in patience and in tribulation ? "_[3324-my] [Ruth]_81-ruth had been hushed and very still until now , when the pleading earnestness of [his]_3326-he question urged [her]_81-ruth to answer : " Yes ! "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth . " [I]_81-ruth hope -- [I]_81-ruth believe [I]_81-ruth can be faithful for [myself]_81-ruth , for [I]_81-ruth have sinned and done wrong . But [Leonard--]_{221-leonard--} "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth looked up at [him]_3326-he . " But [Leonard]_104-leonard , "_[3326-he] [he]_3326-he echoed . " Ah ! there it is hard , [Ruth]_81-ruth . [I]_3326-he own [the world]_{506-the world} is hard and persecuting to such as [he]_104-leonard . "_[3326-he] [He]_3326-he paused to think of the true comfort for this sting . [He]_3326-he went on . " [The world]_{506-the world} is not everything , [Ruth]_81-ruth ; nor is the want of [men]_836-men 's good opinion and esteem the highest need which [man]_661-man has . Teach [Leonard]_104-leonard this . [You]_81-ruth would not wish [his]_104-leonard life to be one summer 's day . [You]_81-ruth dared not make it so , if [you]_81-ruth had the power . Teach [him]_104-leonard to bid a noble , Christian welcome to the trials which [God]_104-leonard sends -- and this is one of them . Teach [him]_104-leonard not to look on a life of struggle , and perhaps of disappointment and incompleteness , as a sad and mournful end , but as the means permitted to [the heroes and warriors in [the army of [Christ]_181-christ]_{6318-the army of christ} , by which to show [their]_{6317-the heroes and warriors in the army of christ , by which to show their faithful following} faithful following]_{6317-the heroes and warriors in the army of christ , by which to show their faithful following} . Tell [him]_104-leonard of the hard and thorny path which was trodden once by the bleeding feet of [One]_255-one . [Ruth]_81-ruth ! think of [the Saviour]_{6319-the saviour} 's life and cruel death , and of [His]_104-leonard divine faithfulness . Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_[3327-he] exclaimed [he]_3327-he , " when [I]_3327-he look and see what [you]_81-ruth may be -- what [you]_81-ruth _ must _ be to [that boy]_{6320-that boy} , [I]_3327-he can not think how [you]_81-ruth could be coward enough , for a moment , to shrink from [your]_81-ruth work ! But [we]_6321-we have all been [cowards]_6322-cowards hitherto , "_[3327-he] [he]_3327-he added , in bitter self - accusation . " [God]_104-leonard help [us]_6321-we to be so no longer ! "_[3327-he] [Ruth]_81-ruth sat very quiet . [Her]_81-ruth eyes were fixed on the ground , and [she]_81-ruth seemed lost in thought . At length [she]_81-ruth rose up . " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , standing before [him]_3327-he , and propping [herself]_81-ruth by the table , as [she]_81-ruth was trembling sadly from weakness , " [I]_81-ruth mean to try very , very hard , to do [my]_81-ruth duty to [Leonard]_104-leonard -- and to [God]_104-leonard , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth added , reverently . " [I]_81-ruth am only afraid [my]_81-ruth faith may sometimes fail about [Leonard--]_{221-leonard--} "_[81-ruth] " Ask , and it shall be given unto [you]_81-ruth . That is no vain or untried promise , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth sat down again , unable longer to stand . There was another long silence . " [I]_81-ruth must never go to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's again , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth said at last , as if thinking aloud . " No , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth shall not , "_[3327-he] [he]_3327-he answered . " But [I]_81-ruth shall earn no money ! "_[81-ruth] added [she]_81-ruth , quickly , for [she]_81-ruth thought that [he]_3327-he did not perceive the difficulty that was troubling [her]_81-ruth . " [You]_3327-he surely know , [Ruth]_81-ruth , that while [Faith]_{252-aunt faith} and [I]_81-ruth have a roof to shelter [us]_6323-us , or bread to eat , [you]_3327-he and [Leonard]_104-leonard share it with [us]_6323-us . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth know -- [I]_81-ruth know [your]_3327-he most tender goodness , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , " but it ought not to be . "_[81-ruth] " [It]_6324-it must be at present , "_[3327-he] [he]_3327-he said , in a decided manner . " Perhaps before long [you]_81-ruth may have some employment ; perhaps it may be some time before an opportunity occurs . "_[3327-he] " Hush , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth ; " [Leonard]_104-leonard is moving about in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} . [I]_81-ruth must go to [him]_104-leonard . "_[81-ruth] But when [she]_81-ruth stood up , [she]_81-ruth turned so dizzy , and tottered so much , that [she]_81-ruth was glad to sit down again immediately . " [You]_81-ruth must rest here . [I]_{143-mr benson} will go to [him]_104-leonard , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_3327-he left [her]_81-ruth ; and when [he]_3327-he was gone , [she]_81-ruth leaned [her]_81-ruth head on the back of the chair , and cried quietly and incessantly ; but there was a more patient , hopeful , resolved feeling in [her]_81-ruth heart , which all along , through all the tears [she]_81-ruth shed , bore [her]_81-ruth onwards to higher thoughts , until at last [she]_81-ruth rose to prayers . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} caught the new look of shrinking shame in [Leonard]_104-leonard 's eye , as it first sought , then shunned , meeting [his]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{143-mr benson} was pained , too , by the sight of [the little sorrowful , anxious face , on which , until now , hope and joy had been predominant]_{3328-the little sorrowful , anxious face , on which , until now , hope and joy had been predominant} . The constrained voice , the few words [the boy]_{4189-the boy} spoke , when formerly there would have been a glad and free utterance -- all this grieved [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} inexpressibly , as but the beginning of an unwonted mortification , which must last for years . [He]_3327-he [himself]_3327-he made no allusion to any unusual occurrence ; [he]_3327-he spoke of [Ruth]_81-ruth as sitting , overcome by headache , in the study for quietness : [he]_3327-he hurried on the preparations for tea , while [Leonard]_104-leonard sat by in the great arm - chair , and looked on with sad , dreamy eyes . [He]_3327-he strove to lessen the shock which [he]_3327-he knew [Leonard]_104-leonard had received , by every mixture of tenderness and cheerfulness that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's gentle heart prompted ; and now and then a languid smile stole over [the boy]_{4189-the boy} 's face . When [his]_{4189-the boy} bedtime came , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} told [him]_{4189-the boy} of the hour , although [he]_{143-mr benson} feared that [Leonard]_104-leonard would have but another sorrowful crying of [himself]_104-leonard to sleep ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} was anxious to accustom [the boy]_{4189-the boy} to cheerful movement within the limits of domestic law , and by no disobedience to it to weaken the power of glad submission to [the Supreme]_{3332-the supreme} ; to begin the new life that lay before [him]_{4189-the boy} , where strength to look up to [God]_104-leonard as [the Law - giver and Ruler of events]_{3333-the law - giver and ruler of events} would be pre - eminently required . When [Leonard]_104-leonard had gone [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} went immediately to [Ruth]_81-ruth , and said , " [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [Leonard]_104-leonard is just gone up to bed , "_{[143-mr benson]} secure in the instinct which made [her]_81-ruth silently rise , and go up to [the boy]_{4189-the boy} -- certain , too , that [they]_3336-they would each be [the other]_{380-the other} 's best comforter , and that [God]_104-leonard would strengthen [each]_2034-each through the other . Now , for the first time , [he]_{4189-the boy} had leisure to think of [himself]_{4189-the boy} ; and to go over all the events of the day . The half - hour of solitude in [[his]_{4189-the boy} study]_{1727-his study} , that [he]_{4189-the boy} had before [[his]_{4189-the boy} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's return , was of inestimable value ; [he]_{4189-the boy} had leisure to put events in their true places , as to importance and eternal significance . [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} came in laden with farm produce . [[Her]_{164-miss faith} kind entertainers]_{3341-her kind entertainers} had brought [her]_{164-miss faith} in [[their]_{3341-her kind entertainers} shandry]_{3342-their shandry} to the opening of [the court in which [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house} stood]_{3343-the court in which the chapel - house stood} ; but [she]_{164-miss faith} was so heavily burdened with eggs , mushrooms , and plums , that when [[her]_{164-miss faith} brother]_{982-her brother} opened the door [she]_{164-miss faith} was almost breathless . " Oh , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ! take this basket -- it is such a weight ! Oh , [Sally]_148-sally , is that [you]_148-sally ? Here are some magnum - bonums which [we]_6326-we must preserve to - morrow . There are guinea - fowl eggs in that basket . "_{[164-miss faith]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} let [her]_{164-miss faith} unburden [her]_{164-miss faith} body , and [her]_{164-miss faith} mind too , by giving charges to [Sally]_148-sally respecting [her]_148-sally housekeeping treasures , before [he]_{143-mr benson} said a word ; but when [she]_{164-miss faith} returned into [the study]_{1738-the study} , to tell [him]_{143-mr benson} the small pieces of intelligence respecting [her]_{164-miss faith} day at [the farm]_{5405-the farm} , [she]_{164-miss faith} stood aghast . " Why , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , [dear]_4155-dear ! What 's the matter ? Is [your]_4155-dear back hurting [you]_4155-dear ? "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} smiled to reassure [her]_{164-miss faith} ; but it was a sickly and forced smile . " No , [Faith]_{164-miss faith} ! [I]_{143-mr benson} am quite well , only rather out of spirits , and wanting to talk to [you]_{164-miss faith} to cheer [me]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} sat down , straight , sitting bolt - upright to listen the better . " [I]_{164-miss faith} do n't know how , but the real story about [Ruth]_81-ruth is found out . "_{[164-miss faith]} " Oh , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ! "_{[143-mr benson]} exclaimed [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , turning quite white . For a moment , [neither of [them]_3349-them]_{3348-neither of them} said another word . Then [she]_{164-miss faith} went on . " Does [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} know ? "_{[164-miss faith]} " Yes ! [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} sent for [me]_{164-miss faith} , and told [me]_{164-miss faith} . "_{[164-miss faith]} " Does [Ruth]_81-ruth know that it has all come out ? "_{[164-miss faith]} " Yes . And [Leonard]_104-leonard knows . "_{[164-miss faith]} " How ? Who told [him]_104-leonard ? "_{[164-miss faith]} " [I]_{164-miss faith} do not know . [I]_{164-miss faith} have asked no questions . But of course it was [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} . "_{[164-miss faith]} " [She]_{655-his mother} was very foolish and cruel , then , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [her]_{164-miss faith} eyes blazing , and [her]_{164-miss faith} lips trembling , at the thought of the suffering [[her]_{164-miss faith} darling boy]_{3350-her darling boy} must have gone through . " [I]_{164-miss faith} think [she]_{655-his mother} was wise . [I]_{164-miss faith} am sure it was not cruel . [He]_104-leonard must have soon known that there was some mystery , and it was better that it should be told [him]_104-leonard openly and quietly by [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} than by [a stranger]_{2130-a stranger} . "_{[164-miss faith]} " How could [she]_{655-his mother} tell [him]_104-leonard quietly ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , still indignant . " Well ! perhaps [I]_{143-mr benson} used the wrong word -- of course [no one]_{517-no one} was by -- and [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't suppose even [they]_6332-they [themselves]_6332-they could now tell how it was told , or in what spirit it was borne . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was silent again . " Was [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} very angry ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes , very ; and justly so . [I]_{164-miss faith} did very wrong in making that false statement at first . "_{[164-miss faith]} " No ! [I]_{164-miss faith} am sure [you]_{164-miss faith} did not , "_{[164-miss faith]} said [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} . " [Ruth]_81-ruth has had some years of peace , in which to grow stronger and wiser , so that [she]_81-ruth can bear [her]_81-ruth shame now in a way [she]_81-ruth never could have done at first . "_{[164-miss faith]} " All the same it was wrong in [me]_{143-mr benson} to do what [I]_{143-mr benson} did . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} did it too , as much or more than [you]_{164-miss faith} . And [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't think it wrong . [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm certain it was quite right , and [I]_{143-mr benson} would do just the same again . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Perhaps it has not done [you]_{164-miss faith} the harm it has done [me]_{164-miss faith} . "_{[164-miss faith]} " Nonsense ! [Thurstan]_161-thurstan . Do n't be morbid . [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm sure [you]_{164-miss faith} are as good -- and better than ever [you]_{164-miss faith} were . "_{[143-mr benson]} " No , [I]_{143-mr benson} am not . [I]_{143-mr benson} have got what [you]_{164-miss faith} call morbid just in consequence of the sophistry by which [I]_{143-mr benson} persuaded [myself]_{143-mr benson} that wrong could be right . [I]_{143-mr benson} torment [myself]_{143-mr benson} . [I]_{143-mr benson} have lost [my]_{143-mr benson} clear instincts of conscience . Formerly , if [I]_{143-mr benson} believed that such or such an action was according to the will of [God]_104-leonard , [I]_{143-mr benson} went and did it , or at least [I]_{143-mr benson} tried to do it , without thinking of consequences . Now , [I]_{143-mr benson} reason and weigh what will happen if [I]_{143-mr benson} do so and so -- [I]_{143-mr benson} grope where formerly [I]_{143-mr benson} saw . Oh , Faith ! it is such a relief to [me]_{143-mr benson} to have the truth known , that [I]_{143-mr benson} am afraid [I]_{143-mr benson} have not been sufficiently sympathising with [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Poor Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " But at any rate [our]_3351-our telling a lie has been the saving of [her]_81-ruth . There is no fear of [her]_81-ruth going wrong now . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [God]_104-leonard 's omnipotence did not need [our]_3351-our sin . "_[3351-our] [They]_3351-our did not speak for some time . " [You]_3351-our have not told [me]_3351-our what [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} said . "_[3351-our] " One ca n't remember the exact words that are spoken on either side in moments of such strong excitement . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was very angry , and said some things about [me]_{143-mr benson} that were very just , and some about [Ruth]_81-ruth that were very hard . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} last words were that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} should give up coming to [chapel]_1864-chapel . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Oh , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan ! did it come to that ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes . "_[3351-our] " Does [Ruth]_81-ruth know all [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} said ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " No ! Why should [she]_81-ruth ? [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't know if [she]_81-ruth knows [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has spoken to [me]_{143-mr benson} at all . [Poor creature]_{2557-poor creature} ! [she]_81-ruth had enough to craze [her]_81-ruth almost without that ! [She]_81-ruth was for going away and leaving [us]_6335-us , that [we]_6335-us might not share in [her]_81-ruth disgrace . [I]_{143-mr benson} was afraid of [her]_81-ruth being quite delirious . [I]_{143-mr benson} did so want [you]_6336-you , [Faith]_{164-miss faith} ! However , [I]_{143-mr benson} did the best [I]_{143-mr benson} could ; [I]_{143-mr benson} spoke to [her]_81-ruth very coldly , and almost sternly , all the while [my]_{143-mr benson} heart was bleeding for [her]_81-ruth . [I]_{143-mr benson} dared not give [her]_81-ruth sympathy ; [I]_{143-mr benson} tried to give [her]_81-ruth strength . But [I]_{143-mr benson} did so want [you]_6336-you , [Faith]_{164-miss faith} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " And [I]_{164-miss faith} was so full of enjoyment , [I]_{164-miss faith} am ashamed to think of it . But [the Dawsons]_{6337-the dawsons} are so kind -- and the day was so fine-- Where is [Ruth]_81-ruth now ? "_{[164-miss faith]} " With [Leonard]_104-leonard . [He]_104-leonard is [her]_81-ruth great earthly motive -- [I]_{143-mr benson} thought that being with [him]_104-leonard would be best . But [he]_104-leonard must be in bed and asleep now . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{164-miss faith} will go up to [her]_81-ruth , "_{[164-miss faith]} said [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} . [She]_{164-miss faith} found [Ruth]_81-ruth keeping watch by [Leonard]_104-leonard 's troubled sleep ; but when [she]_{164-miss faith} saw [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} [she]_{164-miss faith} rose up , and threw [herself]_{164-miss faith} on [her]_{164-miss faith} neck and clung to [her]_{164-miss faith} , without speaking . After a while [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} said : " [You]_81-ruth must go to bed , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! "_{[143-mr benson]} So , after [she]_{164-miss faith} had kissed [the sleeping boy]_{3352-the sleeping boy} , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} led [her]_81-ruth away , and helped to undress [her]_81-ruth , and brought [her]_81-ruth up a cup of soothing violet tea -- not so soothing as tender actions and soft loving tones . CHAPTER XXVIII An Understanding Between [Lovers]_3353-lovers It was well [they]_3354-they had so early and so truly strengthened the spirit to bear , for the events which had to be endured soon came thick and threefold . Every evening [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} thought the worst must be over ; and every day brought some fresh occurrence to touch upon [the raw place]_{3355-the raw place} . [They]_3354-they could not be certain , until [they]_3354-they had seen all [[their]_3354-they acquaintances]_{3356-their acquaintances} , what difference it would make in the cordiality of [their]_3354-they reception : in some cases it made much ; and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was proportionably indignant . [She]_{164-miss faith} felt this change in behaviour more than [[her]_{164-miss faith} brother]_{982-her brother} . [His]_{982-her brother} great pain arose from the coolness of [the Bradshaws]_{206-the bradshaws} . With all the faults which had at times grated on [his]_{982-her brother} sensitive nature ( but which [he]_{982-her brother} now forgot , and remembered only [their]_{206-the bradshaws} kindness ) , [they]_{206-the bradshaws} were [[his]_{982-her brother} old familiar friends]_{3358-his old familiar friends} -- [his]_{982-her brother} kind , if ostentatious , [patrons]_3359-patrons -- [his]_{982-her brother} great personal interest , out of [[his]_{982-her brother} own family]_{776-his own family} ; and [he]_{982-her brother} could not get over the suffering [he]_{982-her brother} experienced from seeing [[their]_{206-the bradshaws} large square pew empty on Sundays]_{3361-their large square pew empty on sundays} -- from perceiving how [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , though [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} bowed in a distant manner when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} met face to face , shunned [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} as often as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} possibly could . All that happened in [the household]_{1179-the household} , which once was as patent to [him]_{982-her brother} as [his]_{982-her brother} own , was now a sealed book ; [he]_{982-her brother} heard of its doings by chance , if [he]_{982-her brother} heard at all . Just at the time when [he]_{982-her brother} was feeling the most depressed from this cause , [he]_{982-her brother} met [Jemima]_217-jemima at a sudden turn of [the street]_{347-the street} . [He]_{982-her brother} was uncertain for a moment how to accost [her]_217-jemima , but [she]_217-jemima saved [him]_{982-her brother} all doubt ; in an instant [she]_217-jemima had [his]_{982-her brother} hand in both of [hers]_217-jemima , [her]_217-jemima face flushed with honest delight . " Oh , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [I]_217-jemima am so glad to see [you]_{143-mr benson} ! [I]_217-jemima have so wanted to know all about [you]_{143-mr benson} ! How is poor [Ruth]_81-ruth ? [dear Ruth]_81-ruth ! [I]_217-jemima wonder if [she]_81-ruth has forgiven [me]_217-jemima [my]_217-jemima cruelty to [her]_81-ruth ? And [I]_217-jemima may not go to [her]_81-ruth now , when [I]_217-jemima should be so glad and thankful to make up for it . "_[217-jemima] " [I]_3365-i never heard [you]_{143-mr benson} had been cruel to [her]_81-ruth . [I]_3365-i am sure [she]_81-ruth does not think so . "_[3365-i] " [She]_81-ruth ought ; [she]_81-ruth must . What is [she]_81-ruth doing ? Oh ! [I]_3365-i have so much to ask , [I]_3365-i can never hear enough ; and [papa]_4310-papa says"--she_[3365-i] hesitated a moment , afraid of giving pain , and then , believing that [they]_3364-they would understand the state of affairs , and the reason for [her]_3365-i behaviour better if [she]_3365-i told the truth , [she]_3365-i went on : " [Papa]_209-papa says [I]_3365-i must not go to [[your]_{143-mr benson} house]_{6339-your house} -- [I]_3365-i suppose it 's right to obey [him]_209-papa ? "_[3365-i] " Certainly , [[my]_3365-i dear]_{4145-my dear} . It is [your]_{143-mr benson} clear duty . [We]_3364-they know how [you]_{143-mr benson} feel towards [us]_3364-they . "_[3365-i] " Oh ! but if [I]_3365-i could do any good -- if [I]_3365-i could be of any use or comfort to any of [you]_{143-mr benson} -- especially to [Ruth]_81-ruth , [I]_3365-i should come , duty or not . [I]_3365-i believe it would be [my]_3365-i duty , "_[3365-i] said [she]_3365-i , hurrying on to try and stop any decided prohibition from [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " No ! do n't be afraid ; [I]_3365-i wo n't come till [I]_3365-i know [I]_3365-i can do some good . [I]_3365-i hear bits about [you]_{143-mr benson} through [Sally]_148-sally every now and then , or [I]_3365-i could not have waited so long . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , "_[3365-i] continued [she]_3365-i , reddening very much , " [I]_3365-i think [you]_{143-mr benson} did quite right about poor [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_[3365-i] " Not in the falsehood , [[my]_3365-i dear]_{4145-my dear} . "_[3365-i] " No ! not perhaps in that . [I]_3366-i was not thinking of that . But [I]_3366-i have been thinking a great deal about poor [Ruth's]_256-ruth's -- [you]_{143-mr benson} know [I]_3366-i could not help it when [everybody]_{505-everybody} was talking about it -- and it made [me]_3366-i think of [myself]_3366-i , and what [I]_3366-i am . With [a father]_{4308-a father} and [mother]_4127-mother , and [home]_4124-home and [careful friends]_{6346-careful friends} , [I]_3366-i am not likely to be tempted like [Ruth]_81-ruth ; but oh ! [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , "_[3366-i] said [she]_3366-i , lifting [her]_3366-i eyes , which were full of tears , to [his]_3367-his face , for the first time since [she]_3366-i began to speak , " if [you]_{143-mr benson} knew all [I]_3368-i have been thinking and feeling this last year , [you]_{143-mr benson} would see how [I]_3368-i have yielded to every temptation that was able to come to [me]_3368-i ; and , seeing how [I]_3368-i have no goodness or strength in [me]_3368-i , and how [I]_3368-i might just have been like [Ruth]_81-ruth , or rather , worse than [she]_81-ruth ever was , because [I]_3368-i am more headstrong and passionate by nature , [I]_3368-i do so thank [you]_{143-mr benson} and love [you]_{143-mr benson} for what [you]_{143-mr benson} did for [her]_81-ruth ! And will [you]_{143-mr benson} tell [me]_3368-i really and truly now if [I]_3368-i can ever do anything for [Ruth]_81-ruth ? If [you]_{143-mr benson} 'll promise [me]_3368-i that , [I]_3368-i wo n't rebel unnecessarily against [papa]_4310-papa ; but if [you]_{143-mr benson} do n't , [I]_3368-i will , and come and see [you]_{143-mr benson} all this very afternoon . Remember ! [I]_3368-i trust [you]_{143-mr benson} ! "_[3368-i] said [she]_3368-i , breaking away . Then turning back , [she]_3368-i came to ask after [Leonard]_104-leonard . " [He]_104-leonard must know something of it , "_[3368-i] said [she]_3368-i . " Does [he]_104-leonard feel it much ? "_[3368-i] " Very much , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [Jemima]_217-jemima shook [her]_217-jemima head sadly . " It is hard upon [him]_104-leonard , "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima . " It is , "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} replied . For in truth , [Leonard]_104-leonard was [their]_3369-their greatest anxiety indoors . [His]_104-leonard health seemed shaken , [he]_104-leonard spoke half sentences in [his]_104-leonard sleep , which showed that in [his]_104-leonard dreams [he]_104-leonard was battling on [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} 's behalf against an unkind and angry world . And then [he]_104-leonard would wail to [himself]_104-leonard , and utter sad words of shame , which [they]_3369-their never thought had reached [his]_104-leonard ears . By day , [he]_104-leonard was in general grave and quiet ; but [his]_104-leonard appetite varied , and [he]_104-leonard was evidently afraid of going into [the streets]_{297-the streets} , dreading to be pointed at as an object of remark . [Each separately in [their]_3369-their hearts]_{3372-each separately in their hearts} longed to give [him]_104-leonard change of scene , but [they]_3369-their were all silent , for where was the requisite money to come from ? [His]_104-leonard temper became fitful and variable . At times [he]_104-leonard would be most sullen against [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} ; and then give way to a passionate remorse . When [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} caught [Ruth]_81-ruth 's look of agony at [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's rebuffs , [his]_{143-mr benson} patience failed ; or rather , [I]_0-i should say , [he]_{143-mr benson} believed that a stronger , severer hand than [hers]_81-ruth was required for the management of [the lad]_{4193-the lad} . But , when [she]_81-ruth heard [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} say so , [she]_81-ruth pleaded with [him]_{143-mr benson} . " Have patience with [Leonard]_104-leonard , "_[81-ruth] [she]_81-ruth said . " [I]_81-ruth have deserved the anger that is fretting in [his]_104-leonard heart . It is only [I]_81-ruth who can reinstate [myself]_81-ruth in [his]_104-leonard love and respect . [I]_81-ruth have no fear . When [he]_104-leonard sees [me]_81-ruth really striving hard and long to do what is right , [he]_104-leonard must love [me]_81-ruth . [I]_81-ruth am not afraid . "_[81-ruth] Even while [she]_81-ruth spoke , [her]_81-ruth lips quivered , and [her]_81-ruth colour went and came with eager anxiety . So [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} held [his]_{143-mr benson} peace , and let [her]_81-ruth take [her]_81-ruth course . It was beautiful to see the intuition by which [she]_81-ruth divined what was passing in every fold of [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's heart , so as to be always ready with the right words to soothe or to strengthen [him]_{631-her child} . [Her]_81-ruth watchfulness was unwearied , and with no thought of self - tainting in it , or else [she]_81-ruth might have often paused to turn aside and weep at the clouds of shame which came over [Leonard]_104-leonard 's love for [her]_81-ruth , and hid it from all but [her]_81-ruth faithful heart ; [she]_81-ruth believed and knew that [he]_{631-her child} was yet [[her]_81-ruth own affectionate boy]_{3377-her own affectionate boy} , although [he]_{631-her child} might be gloomily silent , or apparently hard and cold . And in all this , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} could not choose but admire the way in which [she]_81-ruth was insensibly teaching [Leonard]_104-leonard to conform to the law of right , to recognise Duty in the mode in which every action was performed . When [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw this , [he]_{143-mr benson} knew that all goodness would follow , and that the claims which [[his]_{631-her child} mother]_{655-his mother} 's infinite love had on [the boy]_{4189-the boy} 's heart would be acknowledged at last , and all the more fully because [she]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth never urged [them]_3380-them , but silently admitted the force of the reason that caused [them]_3380-them to be for a time forgotten . By - and - by [Leonard]_104-leonard 's remorse at [his]_104-leonard ungracious and sullen ways to [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} -- ways that alternated with passionate , fitful bursts of clinging love -- assumed more the character of repentance ; [he]_104-leonard tried to do so no more . But still [his]_104-leonard health was delicate ; [he]_104-leonard was averse to going out - of - doors ; [he]_104-leonard was much graver and sadder than became [his]_104-leonard age . It was what must be , an inevitable consequence of what had been ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth had to be patient , and pray in secret , and with many tears , for the strength [she]_81-ruth needed . [She]_81-ruth knew what it was to dread the going out into [the streets]_{297-the streets} after [her]_81-ruth story had become known . For days and days [she]_81-ruth had silently shrunk from this effort . But one evening towards dusk , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} was busy , and asked [her]_81-ruth to go an errand for [her]_81-ruth ; and [Ruth]_81-ruth got up and silently obeyed [her]_81-ruth . That silence as to inward suffering was only one part of [her]_81-ruth peculiar and exquisite sweetness of nature ; part of the patience with which [she]_81-ruth " accepted [her]_81-ruth penance . "_[81-ruth] [Her]_81-ruth true instincts told [her]_81-ruth that it was not right to disturb [others]_368-others with many expressions of [her]_81-ruth remorse ; that the holiest repentance consisted in a quiet and daily sacrifice . Still there were times when [she]_81-ruth wearied pitifully of [her]_81-ruth inaction . [She]_81-ruth was so willing to serve and work , and [every one]_{1129-every one} despised [her]_81-ruth services . [Her]_81-ruth mind , as [I]_0-i have said before , had been well cultivated during these last few years ; so now [she]_81-ruth used all the knowledge [she]_81-ruth had gained in teaching [Leonard]_104-leonard , which was an employment that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} relinquished willingly , because [he]_{143-mr benson} felt that it would give [her]_81-ruth some of the occupation that [she]_81-ruth needed . [She]_81-ruth endeavoured to make [herself]_81-ruth useful in [the house]_{426-the house} in every way [she]_81-ruth could ; but the waters of housekeeping had closed over [her]_81-ruth place during the time of [her]_81-ruth absence at [Mr Bradshaw's]_{257-mr bradshaw's} -- and , besides , now that [they]_3386-they were trying to restrict every unnecessary expense , it was sometimes difficult to find work for [three women]_{3387-three women} . Many and many a time [Ruth]_81-ruth turned over in [her]_81-ruth mind every possible chance of obtaining employment for [her]_81-ruth leisure hours , and nowhere could [she]_81-ruth find it . Now and then [Sally]_148-sally , who was [her]_81-ruth confidante in this wish , procured [her]_81-ruth some needlework , but it was of a coarse and common kind , soon done , lightly paid for . But whatever it was , [Ruth]_81-ruth took it , and was thankful , although it added but a few pence to the household purse . [I]_0-i do not mean that there was any great need of money ; but a new adjustment of expenditure was required -- a reduction of wants which had never been very extravagant . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's salary of forty pounds was gone , while more of [her]_81-ruth " keep , "_[148-sally] as [Sally]_148-sally called it , was thrown upon [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} received about eighty pounds a year for [his]_{143-mr benson} salary as [minister]_{3388-minister} . Of this , [he]_{143-mr benson} knew that twenty pounds came from [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; and when [the old man appointed to collect the pew - rents]_{3389-the old man appointed to collect the pew - rents} brought [him]_{143-mr benson} the quarterly amount , and [he]_{143-mr benson} found no diminution in them , [he]_{143-mr benson} inquired how it was , and learnt that , although [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had expressed to [the collector]_{3390-the collector} [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} determination never to come to [chapel]_1864-chapel again , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had added , that of course [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} pew - rent should be paid all the same . But this [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} could not suffer ; and [the old man]_{879-the old man} was commissioned to return the money to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , as being what [[his]_{879-the old man} deserted minister]_{3393-his deserted minister} could not receive . [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had about thirty or forty pounds coming in annually from a sum which , in happier days , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had invested in Canal shares for [them]_3394-they . Altogether [their]_3394-they income did not fall much short of a hundred a year , and [they]_3394-they lived in [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house} free of rent . So [Ruth]_81-ruth 's small earnings were but very little in actual hard commercial account , though in another sense they were much ; and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} always received [them]_3396-them with quiet simplicity . By degrees , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} absorbed some of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's time in a gracious and natural way . [He]_{143-mr benson} employed [her]_81-ruth mind in all the kind offices [he]_{143-mr benson} was accustomed to render to [the poor around [him]_{143-mr benson}]_{3397-the poor around him} . And as much of the peace and ornament of life as [they]_3394-they gained now , was gained on a firm basis of truth . If [Ruth]_81-ruth began low down to find [her]_81-ruth place in [the world]_{506-the world} , at any rate there was no flaw in the foundation . [Leonard]_104-leonard was still [their]_3394-they great anxiety . At times the question seemed to be , could [he]_104-leonard live through all this trial of the elasticity of childhood ? And then [they]_3394-they knew how precious a blessing -- how true a pillar of fire , [he]_104-leonard was to [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} ; and how black the night , and how dreary [the wilderness]_{3400-the wilderness} would be , when [he]_104-leonard was not . [The child]_{565-the child} and [the mother]_{618-the mother} were each messengers of [God]_104-leonard -- angels to [each other]_{579-each other} . [They]_3394-they had long gaps between the pieces of intelligence respecting [the Bradshaws]_{206-the bradshaws} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had at length purchased [the house at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth]_{3404-the house at abermouth} , and [they]_3405-they were much [there]_332-there . The way in which [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} heard most frequently of [the family of [[their]_{157-the bensons} former friends]_{3408-their former friends}]_{3407-the family of their former friends} , was through [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} called on [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} about a month after [the latter]_{1745-the latter} had met [Jemima]_217-jemima in [the street]_{347-the street} . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was not in the habit of paying calls on [any one]_{425-any one} ; and though [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had always entertained and evinced the most kind and friendly feeling towards [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had rarely been in [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} received [him]_{193-mr farquhar} courteously , but [he]_{143-mr benson} rather expected that there would be some especial reason alleged , before the conclusion of the visit , for its occurrence ; more particularly as [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} sat talking on the topics of the day in a somewhat absent manner , as if they were not the subjects most present to [his]_{193-mr farquhar} mind . The truth was , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} could not help recurring to the last time when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was in [that room]_{4164-that room} , waiting to take [Leonard]_104-leonard a ride , and [his]_{193-mr farquhar} heart beating rather more quickly than usual at the idea that [Ruth]_81-ruth might bring [the boy]_{4189-the boy} in when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was equipped . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} was very full now of the remembrance of [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and yet [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was also most thankful , most self - gratulatory , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had gone no further in [his]_{193-mr farquhar} admiration of [her]_81-ruth -- that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had never expressed [his]_{193-mr farquhar} regard in words -- that [no one]_{517-no one} , as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} believed , was cognisant of the incipient love which had grown partly out of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} admiration , and partly out of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} reason . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} was thankful to be spared any implication in the nine - days ' wonder which [her]_81-ruth story had made in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston . And yet [his]_{193-mr farquhar} feeling for [her]_81-ruth had been of so strong a character , that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} winced , as with extreme pain , at every application of censure to [her]_81-ruth name . These censures were often exaggerated , it is true ; but when they were just in [their]_3416-their judgment of the outward circumstances of the case , they were not the less painful and distressing to [him]_{193-mr farquhar} . [His]_{193-mr farquhar} first rebound to [Jemima]_217-jemima was occasioned by [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's account of how severely [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} husband]_{730-her husband} was displeased at [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} daughter]_{633-her daughter} 's having taken part with [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} could have thanked and almost blessed [Jemima]_217-jemima when [she]_217-jemima dropped in ( [she]_217-jemima dared do no more ) [her]_217-jemima pleading excuses and charitable explanations on [Ruth]_81-ruth 's behalf . [Jemima]_217-jemima had learnt some humility from the discovery which had been to [her]_217-jemima so great a shock ; standing , [she]_217-jemima had learnt to take heed lest [she]_217-jemima fell ; and when [she]_217-jemima had once been aroused to a perception of the violence of the hatred which [she]_217-jemima had indulged against [Ruth]_81-ruth , [she]_217-jemima was more reticent and measured in the expression of all [her]_217-jemima opinions . It showed how much [her]_217-jemima character had been purified from pride , that now [she]_217-jemima felt aware that what in [her]_217-jemima was again attracting [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was [her]_217-jemima faithful advocacy of [[her]_217-jemima rival]_{6078-her rival} , wherever such advocacy was wise or practicable . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} was quite unaware that [Jemima]_217-jemima had been conscious of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} great admiration for [Ruth]_81-ruth ; [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did not know that [she]_217-jemima had ever cared enough for [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to be jealous . But the unacknowledged bond between [them]_3420-them now was [their]_3420-them grief , and sympathy , and pity for [Ruth]_81-ruth ; only in [Jemima]_217-jemima these feelings were ardent , and would fain have become active ; while in [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} they were strongly mingled with thankfulness that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had escaped a disagreeable position , and a painful notoriety . [His]_{193-mr farquhar} natural caution induced [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to make a resolution never to think of [any woman]_{3421-any woman} as [a wife]_{5327-a wife} until [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had ascertained all [her]_{3421-any woman} antecedents , from [her]_{3421-any woman} birth upwards ; and the same spirit of caution , directed inwardly , made [him]_{193-mr farquhar} afraid of giving too much pity to [Ruth]_81-ruth , for fear of the conclusions to which such a feeling might lead [him]_{193-mr farquhar} . But still [his]_{193-mr farquhar} old regard for [her]_81-ruth , for [Leonard]_104-leonard , and [his]_{193-mr farquhar} esteem and respect for [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} , induced [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to lend a willing ear to [Jemima]_217-jemima 's earnest entreaty that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would go and call on [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , in order that [she]_217-jemima might learn something about [the family]_{693-the family} in general , and [Ruth]_81-ruth in particular . It was thus that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} came to sit by [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's study fire]_{3424-mr benson 's study fire} , and to talk , in an absent way , to [that gentleman]_{5711-that gentleman} . How [they]_3426-they got on the subject [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did not know , more than one - half of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} attention being distracted ; but [they]_3426-they were speaking about politics , when [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} learned that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} took in no newspaper . " Will [you]_{193-mr farquhar} allow [me]_{143-mr benson} to send [you]_{193-mr farquhar} over [my]_{143-mr benson} _ Times _ ? [I]_{143-mr benson} have generally done with it before twelve o'clock , and after that it is really waste - paper in [[my]_{143-mr benson} house]_{4340-my house} . [You]_{193-mr farquhar} will oblige [me]_{143-mr benson} by making use of it . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am sure [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am very much obliged to [you]_{193-mr farquhar} for thinking of it . But do not trouble [yourself]_{193-mr farquhar} to send it ; [Leonard]_104-leonard can fetch it . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " How is [Leonard]_104-leonard now ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} asked [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} tried to speak indifferently ; but a grave look of intelligence clouded [his]_{193-mr farquhar} eyes as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} looked for [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's answer . " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} have not met [him]_104-leonard lately . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " No ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , with an expression of pain in [his]_{143-mr benson} countenance , though [he]_{143-mr benson} , too , strove to speak in [his]_{143-mr benson} usual tone . " [Leonard]_104-leonard is not strong , and [we]_6349-we find it difficult to induce [him]_104-leonard to go much out - of - doors . "_{[143-mr benson]} There was a little silence for a minute or two , during which [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had to check an unbidden sigh . But , suddenly rousing [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} into a determination to change the subject , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} said : " [You]_{143-mr benson} will find rather a lengthened account of the exposure of [Sir Thomas Campbell]_{247-sir thomas campbell} 's conduct at [Baden]_66-baden . [He]_{247-sir thomas campbell} seems to be a complete blackleg , in spite of [his]_{247-sir thomas campbell} baronetcy . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} fancy the papers are glad to get hold of anything just now . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Who is [Sir Thomas Campbell]_{247-sir thomas campbell} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Oh , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} thought [you]_{143-mr benson} might have heard the report -- a true one , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} believe -- of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's engagement to [[his]_{225-mr donne} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} . [He]_{225-mr donne} must be glad [she]_{2158-his daughter} jilted [him]_{225-mr donne} now , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} fancy , after this public exposure of [[her]_{2158-his daughter} father]_{411-her father} 's conduct . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} ( That was an awkward speech , as [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} felt ; and [he]_{193-mr farquhar} hastened to cover it , by going on without much connexion :) " [Dick Bradshaw]_214-dick is [[my]_{193-mr farquhar} informant]_{3121-my informant} about all these projected marriages in high life -- they are not much in [my]_{193-mr farquhar} way ; but since [he]_214-dick has come down from [London]_3-london to take [his]_214-dick share in the business , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} think [I]_{193-mr farquhar} have heard more of the news and the scandal of what , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} suppose , would be considered high life , than ever [I]_{193-mr farquhar} did before ; and [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's proceedings seem to be an especial object of interest to [him]_{225-mr donne} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " And [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} is engaged to [a Miss Campbell]_{258-a miss campbell} , is [he]_{225-mr donne} ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Was engaged ; if [I]_{193-mr farquhar} understood right , [she]_{258-a miss campbell} broke off the engagement to marry [some Russian prince or other]_{6353-some russian prince or other} -- a better match , [Dick Bradshaw]_214-dick told [me]_{193-mr farquhar} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} assure [you]_6354-you , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} continued [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , smiling , " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am [a very passive recipient of all such intelligence]_{6355-a very passive recipient of all such intelligence} , and might very probably have forgotten all about it , if the _ Times _ of this morning had not been so full of the disgrace of [[the young lady]_{476-the young lady} 's father]_{6357-the young lady 's father} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " [Richard Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} has quite left [London]_3-london , has [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who felt far more interest in [[his]_{143-mr benson} old patron 's family]_{3427-his old patron 's family} than in all [the Campbells that ever were or ever would be]_{3428-the campbells that ever were or ever would be} . " Yes . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} has come to settle down here . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} hope [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} may do well , and not disappoint [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} , who has formed very high expectations from [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am not sure if they are not too high for [any young man]_{6359-any young man} to realise . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} could have said more , but [Dick Bradshaw]_214-dick was [[Jemima]_217-jemima 's brother]_{3429-jemima 's brother} , and an object of anxiety to [her]_217-jemima . " [I]_{143-mr benson} am sure , [I]_{143-mr benson} trust such a mortification -- such a grief as any disappointment in [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} , may not befall [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} , "_{[143-mr benson]} replied [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [Jemima]_217-jemima -- [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , hesitating , " was most anxious to hear of [you]_6361-you all . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} hope [I]_{193-mr farquhar} may tell [her]_217-jemima [you]_6361-you are all well "_{[193-mr farquhar]} ( with an emphasis on _ all _ ) ; " that-- "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Thank [you]_{193-mr farquhar} . Thank [her]_217-jemima for [us]_6361-you . [We]_6361-you are all well ; all except [Leonard]_104-leonard , who is not strong , as [I]_{193-mr farquhar} said before . But [we]_6361-you must be patient . Time , and such devoted , tender love as [he]_104-leonard has from [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} , must do much . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was silent . " Send [him]_104-leonard to [[my]_{193-mr farquhar} house]_{4340-my house} for the papers . It will be a little necessity for [him]_104-leonard to have some regular exercise , and to face [the world]_{506-the world} . [He]_104-leonard must do it , sooner or later . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [The two gentlemen]_{3430-the two gentlemen} shook hands with each other on parting ; but no further allusion was made to either [Ruth]_81-ruth or [Leonard]_104-leonard . [So Leonard]_104-leonard went for the papers . [Stealing]_259-stealing along by [back streets]_{3431-back streets} -- running with [his]_104-leonard head bent down -- [his]_104-leonard little heart panting with dread of being pointed out as [[his]_104-leonard mother 's child]_{3432-his mother 's child} -- so [he]_104-leonard used to come back , and run trembling to [Sally]_148-sally , who would hush [him]_104-leonard up to [her]_148-sally breast with many a rough - spoken word of pity and sympathy . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} tried to catch [him]_104-leonard to speak to [him]_104-leonard , and tame [him]_104-leonard as it were ; and , by - and - by , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} contrived to interest [him]_104-leonard sufficiently to induce [the boy]_{4189-the boy} to stay a little while in [the house]_{426-the house} , or [stables]_3435-stables , or [garden]_3436-garden . But the race through [the streets]_{297-the streets} was always to be dreaded as the end of ever so pleasant a visit . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} kept up the intercourse with [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} which [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had thus begun . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} persevered in paying calls -- quiet visits , where not much was said , political or local news talked about , and the same inquiries always made and answered as to the welfare of [the two families]_{3438-the two families} , who were estranged from [each other]_{579-each other} . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's reports were so little varied that [Jemima]_217-jemima grew anxious to know more particulars . " Oh , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ! "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima ; " do [you]_{193-mr farquhar} think [they]_{157-the bensons} tell [you]_{193-mr farquhar} the truth ? [I]_217-jemima wonder what [Ruth]_81-ruth can be doing to support [herself]_81-ruth and [Leonard]_104-leonard ? Nothing that [you]_{193-mr farquhar} can hear of , [you]_{193-mr farquhar} say ; and , of course , [one]_321-one must not ask the downright question . And yet [I]_217-jemima am sure [they]_{157-the bensons} must be pinched in some way . Do [you]_{193-mr farquhar} think [Leonard]_104-leonard is stronger ? "_[217-jemima] " [I]_3440-i am not sure . [He]_104-leonard is growing fast ; and such a blow as [he]_104-leonard has had will be certain to make [him]_104-leonard more thoughtful and full of care than [most boys of [his]_104-leonard age]_{6366-most boys of his age} ; both these circumstances may make [him]_104-leonard thin and pale , which [he]_104-leonard certainly is . "_[3440-i] " Oh ! how [I]_3440-i wish [I]_3440-i might go and see [them]_{157-the bensons} all ! [I]_3440-i could tell in a twinkling the real state of things . "_[3440-i] [She]_3440-i spoke with a tinge of [her]_3440-i old impatience . " [I]_3440-i will go again , and pay particular attention to anything [you]_{193-mr farquhar} wish [me]_3440-i to observe . [You]_{193-mr farquhar} see , of course , [I]_3440-i feel a delicacy about asking any direct questions , or even alluding in any way to these late occurrences . "_[3440-i] " And [you]_{193-mr farquhar} never see [Ruth]_81-ruth by any chance ? "_[3440-i] " Never ! "_[3441-i] [They]_3441-i did not look at [each other]_{579-each other} while this last question was asked and answered . " [I]_3441-i will take the paper to - morrow [myself]_3441-i ; it will be an excuse for calling again , and [I]_3441-i will try to be very penetrating ; but [I]_3441-i have not much hope of success . "_[3441-i] " Oh , thank [you]_{193-mr farquhar} . It is giving [you]_{193-mr farquhar} a great deal of trouble ; but [you]_{193-mr farquhar} are very kind . "_[3440-i] " Kind , [Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_[3443-he] [he]_3443-he repeated , in a tone which made [her]_3440-i go very red and hot ; " must [I]_3443-he tell [you]_{193-mr farquhar} how [you]_{193-mr farquhar} can reward me?--Will [you]_{193-mr farquhar} call [me]_3443-he [Walter?--say]_{260-walter?--say} , thank [you]_{193-mr farquhar} , [Walter]_212-walter -- just for once . "_[3443-he] [Jemima]_217-jemima felt [herself]_217-jemima yielding to the voice and tone in which this was spoken ; but [her]_217-jemima very consciousness of the depth of [her]_217-jemima love made [her]_217-jemima afraid of giving way , and anxious to be wooed , that [she]_217-jemima might be reinstated in [her]_217-jemima self - esteem . " No ! "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima , " [I]_217-jemima do n't think [I]_217-jemima can call [you]_3444-you so . [You]_3444-you are too old . It would not be respectful . "_[217-jemima] [She]_217-jemima meant it half in joke , and had no idea [he]_3444-you would take the allusion to [his]_3444-you age so seriously as [he]_3444-you did . [He]_3444-you rose up , and coldly , as a matter of form , in a changed voice , wished [her]_217-jemima " Good - bye . "_[3444-you] [Her]_217-jemima heart sank ; yet the old pride was there . But as [he]_3444-you was at the very door , some sudden impulse made [her]_217-jemima speak : " [I]_217-jemima have not vexed [you]_3444-you , have [I]_217-jemima , [Walter]_212-walter ? "_[217-jemima] [He]_3444-you turned round , glowing with a thrill of delight . [She]_217-jemima was as red as any rose ; [her]_217-jemima looks dropped down to the ground . They were not raised when , half an hour afterwards , [she]_217-jemima said , " [You]_3444-you wo n't forbid [my]_217-jemima going to see [Ruth]_81-ruth , will [you]_3444-you ? because if [you]_3444-you do , [I]_217-jemima give [you]_3444-you notice [I]_217-jemima shall disobey [you]_3444-you . "_[217-jemima] The arm around [her]_217-jemima waist clasped [her]_217-jemima yet more fondly at the idea , suggested by this speech , of the control which [he]_3444-you should have a right to exercise over [her]_217-jemima actions at some future day . " Tell [me]_3444-you , "_[3444-you] said [he]_3444-you , " how much of [your]_217-jemima goodness to [me]_3444-you , this last happy hour , has been owing to the desire of having more freedom as [a wife]_{5327-a wife} than as [a daughter]_{5057-a daughter} ? "_[3444-you] [She]_217-jemima was almost glad that [he]_3444-you should think [she]_217-jemima needed any additional motive to [her]_217-jemima love for [him]_3444-you before [she]_217-jemima could have accepted [him]_3444-you . [She]_217-jemima was afraid that [she]_217-jemima had betrayed the deep , passionate regard with which [she]_217-jemima had long looked upon [him]_3444-you . [She]_217-jemima was lost in delight at [her]_217-jemima own happiness . [She]_217-jemima was silent for a time . At length [she]_217-jemima said : " [I]_217-jemima do n't think [you]_3444-you know how faithful [I]_217-jemima have been to [you]_3444-you ever since the days when [you]_3444-you first brought [me]_217-jemima pistachio - candy from [London]_3-london -- when [I]_217-jemima was quite [a little girl]_{2524-a little girl} . "_[217-jemima] " Not more faithful than [I]_217-jemima have been to [you]_3444-you , "_[217-jemima] for in truth , the recollection of [his]_3444-you love for [Ruth]_81-ruth had utterly faded away , and [he]_3444-you thought [himself]_3444-you [a model of constancy]_{3445-a model of constancy} ; " and [you]_3444-you have tried [me]_3444-you pretty well . What a vixen [you]_3444-you have been ! "_[3444-you] [Jemima]_217-jemima sighed ; smitten with the consciousness of how little [she]_217-jemima had deserved [her]_217-jemima present happiness ; humble with the recollection of the evil thoughts that had raged in [her]_217-jemima heart during the time ( which [she]_217-jemima remembered well , though [he]_3444-you might have forgotten it ) when [Ruth]_81-ruth had had the affection which [[her]_81-ruth jealous rival]_{3446-her jealous rival} coveted . " [I]_81-ruth may speak to [[your]_3444-you father]_{5319-your father} , may not [I]_81-ruth , [Jemima]_217-jemima ? "_[81-ruth] No ! for some reason or fancy which [she]_217-jemima could not define , and could not be persuaded out of , [she]_217-jemima wished to keep [their]_3447-their mutual understanding a secret . [She]_217-jemima had a natural desire to avoid the congratulations [she]_217-jemima expected from [[her]_217-jemima family]_{3448-her family} . [She]_217-jemima dreaded [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} 's consideration of the whole affair as a satisfactory disposal of [[his]_{411-her father} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} to [a worthy man]_{3451-a worthy man} , who , being [[his]_{411-her father} partner]_{2434-his partner} , would not require any abstraction of capital from the concern , and [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's more noisy delight at [[his]_{411-her father} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's having " hooked "_{[3454-her simple - hearted mother]} so good a match . It was only [[her]_217-jemima simple - hearted mother]_{3454-her simple - hearted mother} that [she]_217-jemima longed to tell . [She]_217-jemima knew that [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} 's congratulations would not jar upon [her]_217-jemima , though they might not sound the full organ - peal of [her]_217-jemima love . But all that [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} knew passed onwards to [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} ; so for the present , at any rate , [she]_217-jemima determined to realise [her]_217-jemima secret position alone . Somehow , the sympathy of all others that [she]_217-jemima most longed for was [Ruth]_81-ruth 's ; but the first communication of such an event was due to [[her]_217-jemima parents]_{790-her parents} . [She]_217-jemima imposed very strict regulations on [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's behaviour ; and quarrelled and differed from [him]_{193-mr farquhar} more than ever , but with a secret joyful understanding with [him]_{193-mr farquhar} in [her]_217-jemima heart , even while [they]_{790-her parents} disagreed with [each other]_{579-each other} -- for similarity of opinion is not always -- [I]_0-i think not often -- needed for fulness and perfection of love . After [Ruth]_81-ruth 's " detection , "_[81-ruth] as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} used to call it , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} could never trust [another governess]_{3460-another governess} again ; so [Mary]_118-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} had been sent to [school]_680-school the following Christmas , and [their]_{790-her parents} place in [the family]_{693-the family} was but poorly supplied by the return of [Mr Richard Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , who had left [London]_3-london , and been received as [a partner]_{3463-a partner} . CHAPTER XXIX [Sally]_148-sally Takes [Her]_148-sally Money Out of [the Bank]_{3464-the bank} The conversation narrated in the last chapter as taking place between [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} and [Jemima]_217-jemima , occurred about a year after [Ruth]_81-ruth 's dismissal from [her]_81-ruth situation . That year , full of small events , and change of place to [the Bradshaws]_{206-the bradshaws} , had been monotonous and long in its course to [the other household]_{3465-the other household} . There had been no want of peace and tranquillity ; there had , perhaps , been more of [them]_3466-their than in the preceding years , when , though unacknowledged by any , all must have occasionally felt the oppression of the falsehood -- and a slight glancing dread must have flashed across [their]_3466-their most prosperous state , lest , somehow or another , the mystery should be disclosed . But now , as [the shepherd - boy]_{3467-the shepherd - boy} in [John Bunyan]_{261-john bunyan} sweetly sang , " [He]_{3467-the shepherd - boy} that is low need fear no fall . "_{[3467-the shepherd - boy]} Still , [their]_3466-their peace was as the stillness of a grey autumnal day , when no sun is to be seen above , and when a quiet film seems drawn before both sky and [earth]_2018-earth , as if to rest the wearied eyes after the summer 's glare . Few events broke the monotony of [their]_3466-their lives , and those events were of a depressing kind . [They]_3466-their consisted in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's futile endeavours to obtain some employment , however humble ; in [Leonard]_104-leonard 's fluctuations of spirits and health ; in [Sally]_148-sally 's increasing deafness ; in the final and unmendable wearing - out of the parlour carpet , which there was no spare money to replace , and so [they]_3466-their cheerfully supplied its want by a large hearth - rug that [Ruth]_81-ruth made out of ends of list ; and , what was more a subject of unceasing regret to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} than all , the defection of [some of the members of [[his]_{143-mr benson} congregation]_{1550-his congregation} , who followed [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's lead]_{3469-some of the members of his congregation , who followed mr bradshaw 's lead} . [[Their]_3466-their places]_{1672-their places} , to be sure , were more than filled up by [the poor]_{497-the poor} , who thronged to [[his]_{143-mr benson} chapel]_{3305-his chapel} ; but still it was a disappointment to find that people about whom [he]_{143-mr benson} had been earnestly thinking -- to whom [he]_{143-mr benson} had laboured to do good -- should dissolve the connexion without a word of farewell or explanation . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} did not wonder that [they]_3466-their should go ; nay , [he]_{143-mr benson} even felt it right that [they]_3466-their should seek that spiritual help from another , which [he]_{143-mr benson} , by [his]_{143-mr benson} error , had forfeited [his]_{143-mr benson} power to offer ; [he]_{143-mr benson} only wished [they]_3466-their had spoken of [their]_3466-their intention to [him]_{143-mr benson} in an open and manly way . But not the less did [he]_{143-mr benson} labour on among those to whom [God]_104-leonard permitted [him]_{143-mr benson} to be of use . [He]_{143-mr benson} felt age stealing upon [him]_{143-mr benson} apace , although [he]_{143-mr benson} said nothing about it , and [no one]_{517-no one} seemed to be aware of it ; and [he]_{143-mr benson} worked the more diligently while " it was yet day . "_{[143-mr benson]} It was not the number of [his]_{143-mr benson} years that made [him]_{143-mr benson} feel old , for [he]_{143-mr benson} was only sixty , and [many men]_{3475-many men} are hale and strong at that time of life ; in all probability , it was that early injury to [his]_{143-mr benson} spine which affected the constitution of [his]_{143-mr benson} mind as well as [his]_{143-mr benson} body , and predisposed [him]_{143-mr benson} , in the opinion of [some at least]_{3476-some at least} , to a feminine morbidness of conscience . [He]_{143-mr benson} had shaken off somewhat of this since the affair with [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; [he]_{143-mr benson} was simpler and more dignified than [he]_{143-mr benson} had been for several years before , during which time [he]_{143-mr benson} had been anxious and uncertain in [his]_{143-mr benson} manner , and more given to thought than to action . The one happy bright spot in this grey year was owing to [Sally]_148-sally . As [she]_148-sally said of [herself]_148-sally , [she]_148-sally believed [she]_148-sally grew more " nattered "_[148-sally] as [she]_148-sally grew older ; but that [she]_148-sally was conscious of [her]_148-sally " natteredness "_[148-sally] was a new thing , and a great gain to the comfort of [the house]_{426-the house} , for it made [her]_148-sally very grateful for forbearance , and more aware of kindness than [she]_148-sally had ever been before . [She]_148-sally had become very deaf ; yet [she]_148-sally was uneasy and jealous if [she]_148-sally were not informed of all the family thoughts , plans , and proceedings , which often had ( however private in [their]_3478-their details ) to be shouted to [her]_148-sally at the full pitch of the voice . But [she]_148-sally always heard [Leonard]_104-leonard perfectly . [His]_104-leonard clear and bell - like voice , which was similar to [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} 's , till sorrow had taken the ring out of it , was sure to be heard by [the old servant]_{782-the old servant} , though [every one else]_{2841-every one else} had failed . Sometimes , however , [she]_148-sally " got [her]_148-sally hearing sudden , "_[148-sally] as [she]_148-sally phrased it , and was alive to every word and noise , more particularly when [they]_3482-they did not want [her]_148-sally to hear ; and at such times [she]_148-sally resented [their]_3482-they continuance of the habit of speaking loud as a mortal offence . One day , [her]_148-sally indignation at being thought deaf called out one of the rare smiles on [Leonard]_104-leonard 's face ; [she]_148-sally saw it , and said , " Bless [thee]_104-leonard , [lad]_5213-lad ! if it but amuses [thee]_104-leonard , [they]_3482-they may shout through a ram 's horn to [me]_148-sally , and [I]_148-sally 'll never let on [I]_148-sally 'm not deaf . It 's as good a use as [I]_148-sally can be of , "_[148-sally] [she]_148-sally continued to [herself]_148-sally , " if [I]_148-sally can make [that poor lad]_{6372-that poor lad} smile a bit . "_[148-sally] If [she]_148-sally expected to be [[everybody]_{505-everybody} 's confidante]_{3484-everybody 's confidante} , [she]_148-sally made [Leonard]_104-leonard [hers]_148-sally . " There ! "_[148-sally] said [she]_148-sally , when [she]_148-sally came [home]_4124-home from [her]_148-sally marketing one Saturday night , " look here , [lad]_5213-lad ! Here 's forty - two pound , seven shillings , and twopence ! It 's a mint of money , is n't it ? [I]_148-sally took it all in sovereigns for fear of fire . "_[148-sally] " What is it all for , [Sally]_148-sally ? "_{[104-leonard]} said [he]_104-leonard . " Aye , [lad]_5213-lad ! that 's asking . It 's [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's money , "_[148-sally] said [she]_148-sally , mysteriously , " that [I]_148-sally 've been keeping for [him]_{143-mr benson} . Is [he]_{143-mr benson} in [the study]_{1738-the study} , think [ye]_148-sally ? "_[148-sally] " Yes ! [I]_148-sally think so . Where have [you]_148-sally been keeping it ? "_[148-sally] " Never [you]_104-leonard mind ! "_[148-sally] [She]_148-sally went towards [the study]_{1738-the study} , but thinking [she]_148-sally might have been hard on [[her]_148-sally darling]_{1704-her darling} in refusing to gratify [his]_104-leonard curiosity , [she]_148-sally turned back , and said : " [I]_148-sally say -- if [thou]_104-leonard wilt , [thou]_104-leonard mayst do [me]_148-sally a job of work some day . [I]_148-sally 'm wanting a frame made for a piece of writing . "_[148-sally] And then [she]_148-sally returned to go into [the study]_{1738-the study} , carrying [her]_148-sally sovereigns in [her]_148-sally apron . " Here , [Master Thurstan]_161-thurstan , "_[148-sally] said [she]_148-sally , pouring them out on the table before [[her]_148-sally astonished master]_{3489-her astonished master} . " Take it , it 's all [yours]_161-thurstan . "_[148-sally] " All [mine]_104-leonard ! What can [you]_148-sally mean ? "_{[104-leonard]} asked [he]_104-leonard , bewildered . [She]_148-sally did not hear [him]_104-leonard , and went on : " Lock it up safe , out o ' the way . [Dunnot]_262-dunnot go and leave it about to tempt [folks]_4966-folks . [I]_148-sally 'll not answer for [myself]_148-sally if money 's left about . [I]_148-sally may be cribbing a sovereign . "_[148-sally] " But where does it come from ? "_{[104-leonard]} said [he]_104-leonard . " Come from ! "_[148-sally] [she]_148-sally replied . " Where does all money come from , but [the bank]_{3464-the bank} , to be sure ? [I]_148-sally thought [any one]_{425-any one} could tell that . "_[148-sally] " [I]_104-leonard have no money in [the bank]_{3464-the bank} ! "_{[104-leonard]} said [he]_104-leonard , more and more perplexed . " No ! [I]_104-leonard knowed that ; but [I]_104-leonard had . [Dunnot]_262-dunnot [ye]_148-sally remember how [you]_148-sally would raise [my]_104-leonard wage , last Martinmas eighteen year ? [You]_148-sally and [Faith]_{164-miss faith} were very headstrong , but [I]_104-leonard was too deep for [you]_148-sally . See [thee]_148-sally ! [I]_104-leonard went and put it [i]_104-leonard ' th ' bank . [I]_104-leonard was never going to touch it ; and if [I]_104-leonard had died it would have been all right , for [I]_104-leonard 'd a will made , all regular and tight -- made by [a lawyer]_{5198-a lawyer} ( leastways [he]_{5198-a lawyer} would have been [a lawyer]_{5198-a lawyer} , if [he]_{5198-a lawyer} had n't got transported first ) . And now , thinks [I]_104-leonard , [I]_104-leonard think [I]_104-leonard 'll just go and get it out and give it 'em . [Banks]_67-banks is not always safe . "_{[104-leonard]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} 'll take care of it for [you]_148-sally with the greatest pleasure . Still , [you]_148-sally know , banks allow interest . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [D'ye]_6382-d'ye suppose [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't know all about interest , and compound interest too , by this time ? [I]_{143-mr benson} tell [ye]_148-sally [I]_{143-mr benson} want [ye]_148-sally to spend it . It 's [your]_148-sally own . It 's not [mine]_{143-mr benson} . It always was [yours]_148-sally . Now [you]_148-sally 're not going to fret [me]_{143-mr benson} by saying [you]_148-sally think it mine . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} held out [his]_{143-mr benson} hand to [her]_3490-she , for [he]_{143-mr benson} could not speak . [She]_3490-she bent forward to [him]_{143-mr benson} as [he]_{143-mr benson} sat there , and kissed [him]_{143-mr benson} . " Eh , bless [ye]_{143-mr benson} , [lad]_5213-lad ! It 's the first kiss [I]_3490-she 've had of [ye]_{143-mr benson} sin ' [ye]_{143-mr benson} were [a little lad]_{6384-a little lad} , and it 's a great refreshment . Now do n't [you]_{143-mr benson} and [Faith]_{164-miss faith} go and bother [me]_3490-she with talking about it . It 's just [yours]_{143-mr benson} , and make no more ado . "_[3490-she] [She]_3490-she went back into [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , and brought out [her]_3490-she will , and gave [Leonard]_104-leonard directions how to make a frame for it ; for [the boy]_{4189-the boy} was [a very tolerable joiner]_{3493-a very tolerable joiner} , and had a box of tools which [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had given [him]_104-leonard some years ago . " It 's a pity to lose such fine writing , "_[3490-she] said [she]_3490-she ; " though [I]_3490-she ca n't say as [I]_3490-she can read it . Perhaps [you]_104-leonard 'd just read it for [me]_3490-she , [Leonard]_104-leonard . "_[3490-she] [She]_3490-she sat open - mouthed with admiration at all the long words . The frame was made , and the will hung up opposite to [her]_3490-she bed , unknown to [any one but [Leonard]_104-leonard]_{3494-any one but leonard} ; and , by dint of [his]_104-leonard repeated reading it over to [her]_3490-she , [she]_3490-she learnt all the words , except " testatrix , "_[3490-she] which [she]_3490-she would always call " testy tricks . "_[3490-she] [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had been too much gratified and touched , by [her]_3490-she unconditional gift of all [she]_3490-she had in [the world]_{506-the world} , to reject it ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} only held it in [his]_{143-mr benson} hands as a deposit until [he]_{143-mr benson} could find a safe investment befitting so small a sum . The little rearrangements of the household expenditure had not touched [him]_{143-mr benson} as [they]_3496-they had done [the women]_{3497-the women} . [He]_{143-mr benson} was aware that meat dinners were not now every - day occurrences ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} preferred puddings and vegetables , and was glad of the exchange . [He]_{143-mr benson} observed , too , that [they]_3498-they all sat together in [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} in the evenings ; but [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} , with the well - scoured dresser , the shining saucepans , the well - blacked grate and whitened hearth , and the warmth which seemed to rise up from the very flags , and ruddily cheer the most distant corners , appeared [a very cozy and charming sitting - room]_{3501-a very cozy and charming sitting - room} ; and , besides , it appeared but right that [Sally]_148-sally , in [her]_148-sally old age , should have the companionship of those with whom [she]_148-sally [had lived in love and faithfulness for so many years]_{3502-had lived in love and faithfulness for so many years} . [He]_{143-mr benson} only wished [he]_{143-mr benson} could more frequently leave the solitary comfort of [[his]_{143-mr benson} study]_{1727-his study} , and join the kitchen party , where [Sally]_148-sally sat as [mistress]_{2075-mistress} in the chimney - corner , knitting by fire - light , and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Ruth]_81-ruth , with the candle between [them]_3498-they , stitched away at [their]_3498-they work ; while [Leonard]_104-leonard strewed the ample dresser with [his]_104-leonard slate and books . [He]_{143-mr benson} did not mope and pine over [his]_{143-mr benson} lessons ; they were the one thing that took [him]_{143-mr benson} out of [himself]_{143-mr benson} . As yet [[his]_{143-mr benson} mother]_{655-his mother} could teach [him]_{143-mr benson} , though in some respects it was becoming a strain upon [her]_{655-his mother} acquirements and powers . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw this , but reserved [his]_{143-mr benson} offers of help as long as [he]_{143-mr benson} could , hoping that before [his]_{143-mr benson} assistance became absolutely necessary , some mode of employment beyond that of occasional plain - work might be laid open to [Ruth]_81-ruth . In spite of the communication [they]_3498-they occasionally had with [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , when [he]_{193-mr farquhar} gave [them]_3498-they the intelligence of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} engagement to [Jemima]_217-jemima , it seemed like a glimpse into a world from which [they]_3498-they were shut out . [They]_3498-they wondered -- [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Ruth]_81-ruth did at least -- much about the details . [Ruth]_81-ruth sat over [her]_81-ruth sewing , fancying how all had taken place ; and as soon as [she]_81-ruth had arranged the events which were going on among [people]_322-people and places once so familiar to [her]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth found some discrepancy , and set - to afresh to picture the declaration of love , and the yielding , blushing acceptance ; for [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had told little beyond the mere fact that there was an engagement between [himself]_{193-mr farquhar} and [Jemima]_217-jemima which had existed for some time , but which had been kept secret until now , when it was acknowledged , sanctioned , and to be fulfilled as soon as [he]_{193-mr farquhar} returned from an arrangement of family affairs in [Scotland]_68-scotland . This intelligence had been enough for [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who was [the only person [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} saw]_{3507-the only person mr farquhar saw} ; as [Ruth]_81-ruth always shrank from the post of opening the door , and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was apt at recognising individual knocks , and always prompt to welcome [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} occasionally thought -- and what [she]_81-ruth thought [she]_81-ruth was in the habit of saying -- that [Jemima]_217-jemima might have come [herself]_217-jemima to announce such an event to [old friends]_{3508-old friends} ; but [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} decidedly vindicated [her]_81-ruth from any charge of neglect , by expressing [his]_{143-mr benson} strong conviction that to [her]_81-ruth [they]_3509-they owed [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's calls -- [his]_{143-mr benson} all but outspoken offers of service -- [his]_{143-mr benson} quiet , steady interest in [Leonard]_104-leonard ; and , moreover ( repeating the conversation [he]_{143-mr benson} had had with [her]_81-ruth in [the street]_{347-the street} , the first time [they]_3509-they met after the disclosure ) , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} told [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} how glad [he]_{143-mr benson} was to find that , with all the warmth of [her]_81-ruth impetuous disposition hurrying [her]_81-ruth on to rebellion against [[her]_81-ruth father]_{411-her father} , [she]_81-ruth was now attaining to that just self - control which can distinguish between mere wishes and true reasons -- that [she]_81-ruth could abstain from coming to see [Ruth]_81-ruth while [she]_81-ruth could do but little good , reserving [herself]_81-ruth for some great occasion or strong emergency . [Ruth]_81-ruth said nothing , but [she]_81-ruth yearned all the more in silence to see [Jemima]_217-jemima . In [her]_81-ruth recollection of that fearful interview with [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , which haunted [her]_81-ruth yet , sleeping or waking , [she]_81-ruth was painfully conscious that [she]_81-ruth had not thanked [Jemima]_217-jemima for [her]_217-jemima generous , loving advocacy ; it had passed unregarded at the time in intensity of agony -- but now [she]_81-ruth recollected that by no word , or tone , or touch , had [she]_81-ruth given any sign of gratitude . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had never told [her]_81-ruth of [his]_{143-mr benson} meeting with [Jemima]_217-jemima ; so it seemed as if there were no hope of any future opportunity : for it is strange how [two households , rent apart by some dissension]_{3513-two households , rent apart by some dissension} , can go through life , [their]_{3513-two households , rent apart by some dissension} parallel existences running side by side , yet never touching [each other]_{579-each other} , near [neighbours]_{3515-neighbours} as [they]_{3515-neighbours} are , [habitual and familiar guests]_{3516-habitual and familiar guests} as [they]_{3515-neighbours} may have been . [Ruth]_81-ruth 's only point of hope was [Leonard]_104-leonard . [She]_81-ruth was weary of looking for work and employment , which everywhere seemed held above [her]_81-ruth reach . [She]_81-ruth was not impatient of this , but [she]_81-ruth was very , very sorry . [She]_81-ruth felt within [her]_81-ruth such capability , and [all]_851-all ignored [her]_81-ruth , and passed [her]_81-ruth by on the other side . But [she]_81-ruth saw some progress in [Leonard]_104-leonard . Not that [he]_104-leonard could continue to have the happy development , and genial ripening , which [other boys]_{3518-other boys} have ; leaping from childhood to boyhood , and thence to youth , with glad bounds , and unconsciously enjoying every age . At present there was no harmony in [Leonard]_104-leonard 's character ; [he]_104-leonard was as full of thought and self - consciousness as [many men]_{3475-many men} , planning [his]_104-leonard actions long beforehand , so as to avoid what [he]_104-leonard dreaded , and what [she]_81-ruth could not yet give [him]_104-leonard strength to face , coward as [she]_81-ruth was [herself]_81-ruth , and shrinking from hard remarks . Yet [Leonard]_104-leonard was regaining some of [his]_104-leonard lost tenderness towards [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} ; when [they]_3521-they were alone [he]_104-leonard would throw [himself]_104-leonard on [her]_81-ruth neck and smother [her]_81-ruth with kisses , without any apparent cause for such a passionate impulse . If [any one]_{425-any one} was by , [his]_104-leonard manner was cold and reserved . The hopeful parts of [his]_104-leonard character were the determination evident in [him]_104-leonard to be a " law unto [himself]_104-leonard , "_{[104-leonard]} and the serious thought which [he]_104-leonard gave to the formation of this law . There was an inclination in [him]_104-leonard to reason , especially and principally with [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , on the great questions of ethics which the majority of [the world]_{506-the world} have settled long ago . But [I]_0-i do not think [he]_104-leonard ever so argued with [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} . [Her]_{655-his mother} lovely patience , and [her]_{655-his mother} humility , was earning its reward ; and from [her]_{655-his mother} quiet piety , bearing sweetly the denial of [her]_{655-his mother} wishes -- the refusal of [her]_{655-his mother} begging -- the disgrace in which [she]_{655-his mother} lay , while others , less worthy , were employed -- this , which perplexed [him]_104-leonard , and almost angered [him]_104-leonard at first , called out [his]_104-leonard reverence at last , and what [she]_{655-his mother} said [he]_104-leonard took for [his]_104-leonard law with proud humility ; and thus softly , [she]_{655-his mother} was leading [him]_104-leonard up to [God]_104-leonard . [His]_104-leonard health was not strong ; it was not likely to be . [He]_104-leonard moaned and talked in [his]_104-leonard sleep , and [his]_104-leonard appetite was still variable , part of which might be owing to [his]_104-leonard preference of the hardest lessons to any outdoor exercise . But this last unnatural symptom was vanishing before the assiduous kindness of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , and the quiet but firm desire of [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} . Next to [Ruth]_81-ruth , [Sally]_148-sally had perhaps the most influence over [him]_104-leonard ; but [he]_104-leonard dearly loved both [Mr]_3526-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; although [he]_104-leonard was reserved on this , as on every point not purely intellectual . [His]_3527-his was a hard childhood , and [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} felt that it was so . [Children]_{1146-children} bear any moderate degree of poverty and privation cheerfully ; but , in addition to a good deal of this , [Leonard]_104-leonard had to bear a sense of disgrace attaching to [him]_104-leonard and to the creature [he]_104-leonard loved best ; this it was that took out of [him]_104-leonard the buoyancy and natural gladness of youth , in a way which no scantiness of food or clothing , or want of any outward comfort , could ever have done . Two years had passed away -- two long , eventless years . Something was now going to happen , which touched [their]_3530-their hearts very nearly , though out of [their]_3530-their sight and hearing . [Jemima]_217-jemima was going to be married this August , and by - and - by the very day was fixed . It was to be on the 14th . On the evening of the 13th , [Ruth]_81-ruth was sitting alone in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , idly gazing out on the darkening shadows in [the little garden]_{1083-the little garden} ; [her]_81-ruth eyes kept filling with quiet tears , that rose , not for [her]_81-ruth own isolation from all that was going on of bustle and preparation for the morrow 's event , but because [she]_81-ruth had seen how [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} had felt that [she]_81-ruth and [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} were left out from the gathering of [old friends in [the Bradshaw family]_{3300-the bradshaw family}]_{3534-old friends in the bradshaw family} . As [Ruth]_81-ruth sat , suddenly [she]_81-ruth was aware of a figure by [her]_81-ruth ; [she]_81-ruth started up , and in the gloom of [the apartment]_{3536-the apartment} [she]_81-ruth recognised [Jemima]_217-jemima . In an instant [they]_3537-they were in [each other]_{579-each other} 's arms -- a long , fast embrace . " Can [you]_81-ruth forgive [me]_217-jemima ? "_[217-jemima] whispered [Jemima]_217-jemima in [Ruth]_81-ruth 's ear . " Forgive [you]_81-ruth ! What do [you]_81-ruth mean ? What have [I]_217-jemima to forgive ? The question is , can [I]_217-jemima ever thank [you]_81-ruth as [I]_217-jemima long to do , if [I]_217-jemima could find words ? "_[217-jemima] " Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth , how [I]_217-jemima hated [you]_81-ruth once ! "_[217-jemima] " It was all the more noble in [you]_81-ruth to stand by [me]_217-jemima as [you]_81-ruth did . [You]_81-ruth must have hated [me]_217-jemima when [you]_81-ruth knew how [I]_217-jemima was deceiving [you]_81-ruth all ! "_[217-jemima] " No , that was not it that made [me]_3539-me hate [you]_81-ruth . It was before that . Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [I]_3539-me did hate [you]_81-ruth ! "_[3539-me] [They]_3539-me were silent for some time , still holding [each other]_{579-each other} 's hands . [Ruth]_81-ruth spoke first . " And [you]_81-ruth are going to be married to - morrow ! "_[81-ruth] " Yes , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima . " To - morrow , at nine o'clock . But [I]_217-jemima do n't think [I]_217-jemima could have been married without coming to wish [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} good - bye . "_[217-jemima] " [I]_81-ruth will go for [them]_6385-them , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " No , not just yet . [I]_81-ruth want to ask [you]_81-ruth one or two questions first . Nothing very particular ; only it seems as if there had been such a strange , long separation between [us]_3539-me . [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , dropping [her]_81-ruth voice , " is [Leonard]_104-leonard stronger than [he]_104-leonard was ? [I]_81-ruth was so sorry to hear about [him]_104-leonard from [Walter]_212-walter . But [he]_104-leonard is better ? "_[81-ruth] asked [she]_81-ruth , anxiously . " Yes , [he]_104-leonard is better . Not what [a boy of]_{6386-a boy of} [his]_104-leonard age should be , "_{[655-his mother]} replied [[his]_3541-his mother]_{655-his mother} , in a tone of quiet but deep mournfulness . " Oh , [Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_[81-ruth] continued [she]_81-ruth , " [my]_81-ruth sharpest punishment comes through [him]_104-leonard . To think what [he]_104-leonard might have been , and what [he]_104-leonard is ! "_[81-ruth] " But [Walter]_212-walter says [he]_104-leonard is both stronger in health , and not so -- nervous and shy . "_[217-jemima] [Jemima]_217-jemima added the last words in a hesitating and doubtful manner , as if [she]_217-jemima did not know how to express [her]_217-jemima full meaning without hurting [Ruth]_81-ruth . " [He]_104-leonard does not show that [he]_104-leonard feels [his]_104-leonard disgrace so much . [I]_217-jemima can not talk about it , [Jemima]_217-jemima , [my]_217-jemima heart aches so about [him]_104-leonard . But [he]_104-leonard is better , "_[217-jemima] [she]_217-jemima continued , feeling that [Jemima]_217-jemima 's kind anxiety required an answer at any cost of pain to [herself]_217-jemima . " [He]_104-leonard is only studying too closely now ; [he]_104-leonard takes to [his]_104-leonard lessons evidently as a relief from thought . [He]_104-leonard is very clever , and [I]_217-jemima hope and trust , yet [I]_217-jemima tremble to say it , [I]_217-jemima believe [he]_104-leonard is very good . "_[217-jemima] " [You]_81-ruth must let [him]_104-leonard come and see [us]_6387-we very often when [we]_6387-we come back . [We]_6387-we shall be two months away . [We]_6387-we are going to [Germany]_47-germany , partly on [Walter]_212-walter 's business . [Ruth]_81-ruth , [I]_217-jemima have been talking to [papa]_209-papa to - night , very seriously and quietly , and it has made [me]_217-jemima love [him]_104-leonard so much more , and understand [him]_104-leonard so much better . "_[217-jemima] " Does [he]_104-leonard know of [your]_81-ruth coming [here]_4172-here ? [I]_81-ruth hope [he]_104-leonard does , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Yes . Not that [he]_104-leonard liked [my]_81-ruth doing it at all . But , somehow , [I]_81-ruth can always do things against [a person]_{653-a person} 's wishes more easily when [I]_81-ruth am on good terms with [them]_{653-a person} -- that 's not exactly what [I]_81-ruth meant ; but now to - night , after [papa]_4310-papa had been showing [me]_81-ruth that [he]_4310-papa really loved [me]_81-ruth more than [I]_81-ruth ever thought [he]_4310-papa had done ( for [I]_81-ruth always fancied [he]_4310-papa was so absorbed in [Dick]_214-dick , [he]_4310-papa did not care much for [[us]_6391-us girls]_{6392-us girls} ) , [I]_81-ruth felt brave enough to say that [I]_81-ruth intended to come here and bid [you]_{6392-us girls} all good - bye . [He]_4310-papa was silent for a minute , and then said [I]_81-ruth might do it , but [I]_81-ruth must remember [he]_4310-papa did not approve of it , and was not to be compromised by [my]_81-ruth coming ; still [I]_81-ruth can tell that , at the bottom of [his]_4310-papa heart , there is some of the old kindly feeling to [Mr]_6393-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , and [I]_81-ruth do n't despair of its all being made up , though , perhaps , [I]_81-ruth ought to say that [mamma]_4143-mamma does . "_[81-ruth] " [Mr]_6395-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} wo n't hear of [my]_81-ruth going away , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , sadly . " [They]_6396-they are quite right . "_[81-ruth] " But [I]_81-ruth am earning nothing . [I]_81-ruth can not get any employment . [I]_81-ruth am only a burden and an expense . "_[81-ruth] " Are [you]_81-ruth not also a pleasure ? And [Leonard]_104-leonard , is [he]_104-leonard not a dear object of love ? It is easy for [me]_81-ruth to talk , [I]_81-ruth know , who am so impatient . Oh , [I]_81-ruth never deserved to be so happy as [I]_81-ruth am ! [You]_81-ruth do n't know how good [Walter]_212-walter is . [I]_81-ruth used to think [him]_212-walter so cold and cautious . But now , [Ruth]_81-ruth , will [you]_81-ruth tell [Mr]_6397-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} that [I]_81-ruth am here ? There is signing of papers , and [I]_81-ruth do n't know what to be done at [home]_4124-home . And when [I]_81-ruth come back , [I]_81-ruth hope to see [you]_81-ruth often , if [you]_81-ruth 'll let [me]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] [Mr and Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} gave [her]_3543-her a warm greeting . [Sally]_148-sally was called in , and would bring a candle with [her]_148-sally , to have a close inspection of [her]_148-sally , in order to see if [she]_148-sally was changed -- [she]_148-sally had not seen [her]_148-sally for so long a time , [she]_148-sally said ; and [Jemima]_217-jemima stood laughing and blushing in the middle of [the room]_{357-the room} , while [Sally]_148-sally studied [her]_148-sally all over , and would not be convinced that the old gown which [she]_148-sally was wearing for the last time was not one of the new wedding ones . The consequence of which misunderstanding was , that [Sally]_148-sally , in [her]_148-sally short petticoats and bedgown , turned up [her]_148-sally nose at the old - fashioned way in which [Miss Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} 's gown was made . But [Jemima]_217-jemima knew [the old woman]_{4187-the old woman} , and rather enjoyed the contempt for [her]_{4187-the old woman} dress . At last [she]_217-jemima kissed [them]_3546-them all , and ran away to [her]_217-jemima impatient [Mr Farquhar , who was awaiting [her]_217-jemima]_{193-mr farquhar} . Not many weeks after this , [the poor old woman whom [I]_0-i have named as having become [a friend of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's]_{3548-a friend of ruth 's} , during [Leonard]_104-leonard 's illness three years ago]_{3547-the poor old woman whom i have named as having become a friend of ruth 's , during leonard 's illness three years ago} , fell down and broke [her]_81-ruth hip - bone . It was a serious -- probably a fatal injury , for [one so old]_{3549-one so old} ; and as soon as [Ruth]_81-ruth heard of it [she]_81-ruth devoted all [her]_81-ruth leisure time to old [Ann Fleming]_263-mary . [Leonard]_104-leonard had now outstript [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} 's powers of teaching , and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} gave [him]_104-leonard [his]_104-leonard lessons ; so [Ruth]_81-ruth was a great deal at [the cottage]_{588-the cottage} both night and day . There [Jemima]_217-jemima found [her]_81-ruth one November evening , the second after [their]_3552-their return from [their]_3552-their prolonged stay on [the Continent]_{42-the continent} . [She]_217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had been to [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} , and had sat [there]_332-there some time ; and now [Jemima]_217-jemima had come on just to see [Ruth]_81-ruth for five minutes , before the evening was too dark for [her]_217-jemima to return alone . [She]_217-jemima found [Ruth]_81-ruth sitting on a stool before the fire , which was composed of a few sticks on the hearth . The blaze [they]_3552-their gave was , however , enough to enable [her]_81-ruth to read ; and [she]_81-ruth was deep in study of the Bible , in which [she]_81-ruth had read aloud to [the poor old woman]_{3554-the poor old woman} , until [the latter]_{1745-the latter} had fallen asleep . [Jemima]_217-jemima beckoned [her]_81-ruth out , and [they]_3552-their stood on [the green]_{3556-the green} just before the open door , so that [Ruth]_81-ruth could see if [Ann]_263-mary awoke . " [I]_217-jemima have not many minutes to stay , only [I]_217-jemima felt as if [I]_217-jemima must see [you]_81-ruth . And [we]_3552-their want [Leonard]_104-leonard to come to [us]_3552-their to see all [our]_3552-their German purchases , and hear all [our]_3552-their German adventures . May [he]_104-leonard come to - morrow ? "_[217-jemima] " Yes ; thank [you]_217-jemima . Oh ! [Jemima]_217-jemima , [I]_217-jemima have heard something -- [I]_217-jemima have got a plan that makes [me]_217-jemima so happy ! [I]_217-jemima have not told [any one]_{425-any one} yet . But [Mr Wynne]_{264-mr wynne} ( [the parish doctor]_{6400-the parish doctor} , [you]_81-ruth know ) has asked [me]_217-jemima if [I]_217-jemima would go out as [a sick nurse]_{6401-a sick nurse} -- [he]_{264-mr wynne} thinks [he]_{264-mr wynne} could find [me]_217-jemima employment . "_[217-jemima] " [You]_217-jemima , [a sick nurse]_{6401-a sick nurse} ! "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , involuntarily glancing over the beautiful lithe figure , and the lovely refinement of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's face as the light of the rising moon fell upon it . " [[My]_217-jemima dear]_{4145-my dear} [Ruth]_81-ruth , [I]_217-jemima do n't think [you]_81-ruth are fitted for it ! "_[217-jemima] " Do n't [you]_217-jemima ? "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , a little disappointed . " [I]_81-ruth think [I]_81-ruth am ; at least , that [I]_81-ruth should be very soon . [I]_81-ruth like being about [sick and helpless people]_{6404-sick and helpless people} ; [I]_81-ruth always feel so sorry for [them]_{6404-sick and helpless people} ; and then [I]_81-ruth think [I]_81-ruth have the gift of a very delicate touch , which is such a comfort in many cases . And [I]_81-ruth should try to be very watchful and patient . [Mr Wynne]_{264-mr wynne} proposed it [himself]_{264-mr wynne} . "_[81-ruth] " It was not in that way [I]_217-jemima meant [you]_81-ruth were not fitted for it . [I]_217-jemima meant that [you]_81-ruth were fitted for something better . Why , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [you]_81-ruth are better educated than [I]_217-jemima am ! "_[217-jemima] " But if [nobody]_5038-nobody will allow [me]_217-jemima to teach?--for that is what [I]_217-jemima suppose [you]_81-ruth mean . Besides , [I]_217-jemima feel as if all [my]_217-jemima education would be needed to make [me]_217-jemima [a good sick nurse]_{6406-a good sick nurse} . "_[217-jemima] " [Your]_81-ruth knowledge of Latin , for instance , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , hitting , in [her]_217-jemima vexation at the plan , on the first acquirement of [Ruth]_81-ruth [she]_217-jemima could think of . " Well ! "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , " that wo n't come amiss ; [I]_81-ruth can read the prescriptions . "_[81-ruth] " Which [the doctors]_{6407-the doctors} would rather [you]_81-ruth did not do . "_[217-jemima] " Still , [you]_81-ruth ca n't say that any knowledge of any kind will be in [my]_217-jemima way , or will unfit [me]_217-jemima for [my]_217-jemima work . "_[217-jemima] " Perhaps not . But all [your]_81-ruth taste and refinement will be in [your]_81-ruth way , and will unfit [you]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] " [You]_81-ruth have not thought about this so much as [I]_217-jemima have , or [you]_81-ruth would not say so . Any fastidiousness [I]_217-jemima shall have to get rid of , and [I]_217-jemima shall be better without ; but any true refinement [I]_217-jemima am sure [I]_217-jemima shall find of use ; for do n't [you]_81-ruth think that every power [we]_6408-we have may be made to help [us]_6408-we in any right work , whatever that is ? Would [you]_81-ruth not rather be nursed by [a person who spoke gently and moved quietly about]_{6409-a person who spoke gently and moved quietly about} than by [a loud bustling woman]_{6410-a loud bustling woman} ? "_[217-jemima] " Yes , to be sure ; but [a person unfit for anything else]_{6411-a person unfit for anything else} may move quietly , and speak gently , and give medicine when [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} orders it , and keep awake at night ; and those are the best qualities [I]_217-jemima ever heard of in [a sick nurse]_{6401-a sick nurse} . "_[217-jemima] [Ruth]_81-ruth was quite silent for some time . At last [she]_81-ruth said : " At any rate it is work , and as such [I]_81-ruth am thankful for it . [You]_81-ruth can not discourage [me]_81-ruth -- and perhaps [you]_81-ruth know too little of what [my]_81-ruth life has been -- how set apart in idleness [I]_81-ruth have been -- to sympathise with [me]_81-ruth fully . "_[81-ruth] " And [I]_81-ruth wanted [you]_81-ruth to come to see [us]_6414-us -- [me]_81-ruth in [[my]_81-ruth new home]_{6415-my new home} . [Walter]_212-walter and [I]_81-ruth had planned that [we]_6414-us would persuade [you]_81-ruth to come to [us]_6414-us very often "_[81-ruth] ( [she]_81-ruth had planned , and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had consented ) ; " and now [you]_81-ruth will have to be fastened up in [a sick - room]_{1239-a sick - room} . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth could not have come , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth quickly . " [Dear Jemima]_217-jemima ! it is like [you]_81-ruth to have thought of it -- but [I]_81-ruth could not come to [[your]_81-ruth house]_{6339-your house} . It is not a thing to reason about . [It]_6418-it is just feeling . But [I]_81-ruth do feel as if [I]_81-ruth could not go . [Dear Jemima]_217-jemima ! if [you]_81-ruth are ill or sorrowful , and want [me]_81-ruth , [I]_81-ruth will come-- "_[81-ruth] " So [you]_81-ruth would and must to [any one]_{425-any one} , if [you]_81-ruth take up that calling . "_[81-ruth] " But [I]_81-ruth should come to [you]_81-ruth , love , in quite a different way ; [I]_81-ruth should go to [you]_81-ruth with [my]_81-ruth heart full of love -- so full that [I]_81-ruth am afraid [I]_81-ruth should be too anxious . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth almost wish [I]_81-ruth were ill , that [I]_81-ruth might make [you]_81-ruth come at once . "_[81-ruth] " And [I]_81-ruth am almost ashamed to think how [I]_81-ruth should like [you]_81-ruth to be in some position in which [I]_81-ruth could show [you]_81-ruth how well [I]_81-ruth remember that day -- that terrible day in [the school - room]_{2575-the school - room} . [God]_104-leonard bless [you]_81-ruth for it , [Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_[81-ruth] CHAPTER XXX The Forged Deed [Mr Wynne]_{264-mr wynne} , [the parish surgeon]_{3557-the parish surgeon} , was right . [He]_{264-mr wynne} could and did obtain employment for [Ruth]_81-ruth as [a sick nurse]_{6401-a sick nurse} . [[Her]_81-ruth home]_{840-her home} was with [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} ; every spare moment was given to [Leonard]_104-leonard and to [them]_{157-the bensons} ; but [she]_81-ruth was at the call of [all the invalids in [the town]_{396-the town}]_{3560-all the invalids in the town} . At first [her]_81-ruth work lay exclusively among [the paupers]_{3562-the paupers} . At first , too , there was a recoil from many circumstances , which impressed upon [her]_81-ruth the most fully the physical sufferings of [those whom [she]_81-ruth tended]_{3563-those whom she tended} . But [she]_81-ruth tried to lose the sense of these -- or rather to lessen [them]_{3563-those whom she tended} , and make [them]_{3563-those whom she tended} take [their]_{3563-those whom she tended} appointed places -- in thinking of [the individuals themselves]_{3564-the individuals themselves} , as separate from [their]_{3563-those whom she tended} decaying frames ; and all along [she]_81-ruth had enough self - command to control [herself]_81-ruth from expressing any sign of repugnance . [She]_81-ruth allowed [herself]_81-ruth no nervous haste of movement or touch that should hurt the feelings of [the poorest , most friendless creature , who ever lay a victim to disease]_{3565-the poorest , most friendless creature , who ever lay a victim to disease} . There was no rough getting over of all the disagreeable and painful work of [her]_81-ruth employment . When it was a lessening of pain to have the touch careful and delicate , and the ministration performed with gradual skill , [Ruth]_81-ruth thought of [her]_81-ruth charge , and not of [herself]_81-ruth . As [she]_81-ruth had foretold , [she]_81-ruth found a use for all [her]_81-ruth powers . [The poor patients]_{3566-the poor patients} [themselves]_{3566-the poor patients} were unconsciously gratified and soothed by [her]_81-ruth harmony and refinement of manner , voice , and gesture . If this harmony and refinement had been merely superficial , it would not have had this balmy effect . That arose from its being the true expression of a kind , modest , and humble spirit . By degrees [her]_81-ruth reputation as [a nurse]_{3567-a nurse} spread upwards , and [many]_652-many sought [her]_81-ruth good offices who could well afford to pay for [them]_652-many . Whatever remuneration was offered to [her]_81-ruth , [she]_81-ruth took it simply and without comment ; for [she]_81-ruth felt that it was not [hers]_81-ruth to refuse ; that it was , in fact , owing to [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} for [her]_81-ruth and [[her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} 's subsistence . [She]_81-ruth went wherever [her]_81-ruth services were first called for . If [the poor bricklayer]_{3570-the poor bricklayer} , who broke both [his]_{3570-the poor bricklayer} legs in a fall from the scaffolding , sent for [her]_81-ruth when [she]_81-ruth was disengaged , [she]_81-ruth went and remained with [him]_{3570-the poor bricklayer} until [he]_{3570-the poor bricklayer} could spare [her]_81-ruth , let who would be [the next claimant]_{3571-the next claimant} . From the happy and prosperous in all but health , [she]_81-ruth would occasionally beg off , when [some one less happy and more friendless]_{3572-some one less happy and more friendless} wished for [her]_81-ruth ; and sometimes [she]_81-ruth would ask for a little money from [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} to give to such in [their]_3573-they time of need . But it was astonishing how much [she]_81-ruth was able to do without money . [Her]_81-ruth ways were very quiet ; [she]_81-ruth never spoke much . [Any one who has been oppressed with the weight of a vital secret for years]_{3574-any one who has been oppressed with the weight of a vital secret for years} , and much more [any one the character of whose life has been stamped by one event , and that producing sorrow and shame]_{3575-any one the character of whose life has been stamped by one event , and that producing sorrow and shame} , is naturally reserved . And yet [Ruth]_81-ruth 's silence was not like reserve ; it was too gentle and tender for that . It had more the effect of a hush of all loud or disturbing emotions , and out of the deep calm the words that came forth had a beautiful power . [She]_81-ruth did not talk much about religion ; but those who noticed [her]_81-ruth knew that it was the unseen banner which [she]_81-ruth was following . The low - breathed sentences which [she]_81-ruth spoke into the ear of [the sufferer]_{3576-the sufferer} and [the dying]_{3262-the dying} carried them upwards to [God]_104-leonard . [She]_81-ruth gradually became known and respected among [the roughest boys of [the rough populace of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{3579-the rough populace of the town}]_{3578-the roughest boys of the rough populace of the town} . [They]_3573-they would make way for [her]_81-ruth when [she]_81-ruth passed along [the streets]_{297-the streets} with more deference than [they]_3573-they used to most ; for all knew something of the tender care with which [she]_81-ruth had attended this or [that sick person]_{3582-that sick person} , and , besides , [she]_81-ruth was so often in connexion with [Death]_265-death that something of the superstitious awe with which [the dead]_{3583-the dead} were regarded by [those rough boys in the midst of [their]_{3584-those rough boys in the midst of their strong life} strong life]_{3584-those rough boys in the midst of their strong life} , surrounded [her]_81-ruth . [She]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth did not feel changed . [She]_81-ruth felt just as faulty -- as far from being what [she]_81-ruth wanted to be , as ever . [She]_81-ruth best knew how many of [her]_81-ruth good actions were incomplete , and marred with evil . [She]_81-ruth did not feel much changed from the earliest Ruth [she]_81-ruth could remember . Everything seemed to change but [herself]_81-ruth . [Mr]_3585-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} grew old , and [Sally]_148-sally grew deaf , and [Leonard]_104-leonard was shooting up , and [Jemima]_217-jemima was [a mother]_{1536-a mother} . [She]_81-ruth and [the distant hills that [she]_81-ruth saw]_{3587-the distant hills that she saw} from [[her]_81-ruth chamber]_{2432-her chamber} window , seemed the only things which were the same as when [she]_81-ruth first came to [Eccleston]_36-eccleston . As [she]_81-ruth sat looking out , and taking [her]_81-ruth fill of solitude , which sometimes was [her]_81-ruth most thorough rest -- as [she]_81-ruth sat at the attic window looking abroad -- [she]_81-ruth saw [[their]_3589-their next - door neighbour]_{3590-their next - door neighbour} carried out to sun [himself]_{3590-their next - door neighbour} in [[his]_{3590-their next - door neighbour} garden]_{3591-his garden} . When [she]_81-ruth first came to [Eccleston]_36-eccleston , [this neighbour]_{3592-this neighbour} and [[his]_{3592-this neighbour} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} were often seen taking long and regular walks ; by - and - by [his]_{3592-this neighbour} walks became shorter , and [the attentive daughter]_{3594-the attentive daughter} would convoy [him]_{3592-this neighbour} [home]_4124-home , and set out afresh to finish [her]_{3594-the attentive daughter} own . Of late years [he]_{3592-this neighbour} had only gone out in [the garden behind [[his]_{3592-this neighbour} house]_{2164-his house}]_{3596-the garden behind his house} ; but at first [he]_{3592-this neighbour} had walked pretty briskly there by [[his]_{3592-this neighbour} daughter]_{2158-his daughter} 's help -- now [he]_{3592-this neighbour} was carried , and placed in a large , cushioned easy - chair , [his]_{3592-this neighbour} head remaining where it was placed against the pillow , and hardly moving when [[his]_{3592-this neighbour} kind daughter , who was now middle - aged]_{3599-his kind daughter , who was now middle - aged} , brought [him]_{3592-this neighbour} the first roses of the summer . This told [Ruth]_81-ruth of the lapse of life and time . [Mr]_3600-mr and [Mrs Farquhar]_{266-mrs farquhar} were constant in [their]_3601-their attentions ; but there was no sign of [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ever forgiving the imposition which had been practised upon [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ceased to hope for any renewal of [their]_3601-their intercourse . Still , [he]_{3592-this neighbour} thought that [he]_{3592-this neighbour} must know of all the kind attentions which [Jemima]_217-jemima paid to [them]_3601-their , and of the fond regard which both [she]_217-jemima and [[her]_217-jemima husband]_{730-her husband} bestowed on [Leonard]_104-leonard . This latter feeling even went so far that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} called one day , and with much diffidence begged [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} to urge [Ruth]_81-ruth to let [him]_{3592-this neighbour} be sent to [school]_680-school at [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} ( [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's ) expense]_{3604-his ( mr farquhar 's ) expense} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was taken by surprise , and hesitated . " [I]_{143-mr benson} do not know . It would be a great advantage in some respects ; and yet [I]_{143-mr benson} doubt whether it would in others . [[His]_{3592-this neighbour} mother]_{655-his mother} 's influence over [him]_{3592-this neighbour} is thoroughly good , and [I]_{143-mr benson} should fear that any thoughtless allusions to [his]_{3592-this neighbour} peculiar position might touch the raw spot in [his]_{3592-this neighbour} mind . "_{[143-mr benson]} " But [he]_{3592-this neighbour} is so unusually clever , it seems a shame not to give [him]_{3592-this neighbour} all the advantages [he]_{3592-this neighbour} can have . Besides , does [he]_{3592-this neighbour} see much of [[his]_{3592-this neighbour} mother]_{655-his mother} now ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Hardly a day passes without [her]_{655-his mother} coming [home]_4124-home to be an hour or so with [him]_{3592-this neighbour} , even at [her]_{655-his mother} busiest times ; [she]_{655-his mother} says it is [her]_{655-his mother} best refreshment . And often , [you]_{143-mr benson} know , [she]_{655-his mother} is disengaged for a week or two , except the occasional services which [she]_{655-his mother} is always rendering to those who need [her]_{655-his mother} . [Your]_{143-mr benson} offer is very tempting , but there is so decidedly another view of the question to be considered , that [I]_{143-mr benson} believe [we]_6424-we must refer it to [her]_{655-his mother} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " With all [my]_{143-mr benson} heart . Do n't hurry [her]_{655-his mother} to a decision . Let [her]_{655-his mother} weigh it well . [I]_{143-mr benson} think [she]_{655-his mother} will find the advantages preponderate . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} wonder if [I]_{193-mr farquhar} might trouble [you]_{143-mr benson} with a little business , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , as [you]_{143-mr benson} are here ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Certainly ; [I]_{143-mr benson} am only too glad to be of any use to [you]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Why , [I]_{143-mr benson} see from the report of the Star Life Assurance Company in the _ Times _ , which [you]_{143-mr benson} are so good as to send [me]_{143-mr benson} , that [they]_6425-they have declared a bonus on the shares ; now it seems strange that [I]_{143-mr benson} have received no notification of it , and [I]_{143-mr benson} thought that perhaps it might be lying at [[your]_{143-mr benson} office]_{6426-your office} , as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [the purchaser of the shares]_{6427-the purchaser of the shares} , and [I]_{143-mr benson} have always received the dividends through [[your]_{143-mr benson} firm]_{6428-your firm} . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} took the newspaper , and ran [his]_{193-mr farquhar} eye over the report . " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} 've no doubt that 's the way of it , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [he]_{193-mr farquhar} . " [Some of [[our]_6430-our clerks]_{6431-our clerks}]_{6429-some of our clerks} have been careless about it ; or it may be [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} is not always [the most punctual and exact of mortals]_{6432-the most punctual and exact of mortals} ; but [I]_{193-mr farquhar} 'll see about it . Perhaps after all it may n't come for a day or two ; [they]_{6429-some of our clerks} have always such numbers of these circulars to send out . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Oh ! [I]_{193-mr farquhar} 'm in no hurry about it . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} only want to receive it some time before [I]_{193-mr farquhar} incur any expenses , which the promise of this bonus may tempt [me]_{193-mr farquhar} to indulge in . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} took [his]_{193-mr farquhar} leave . That evening there was a long conference , for , as it happened , [Ruth]_81-ruth was at [home]_4124-home . [She]_81-ruth was strenuously against the school plan . [She]_81-ruth could see no advantages that would counterbalance the evil which [she]_81-ruth dreaded from [any school for [Leonard]_104-leonard]_{3606-any school for leonard} ; namely , that the good opinion and regard of [the world]_{506-the world} would assume too high an importance in [his]_104-leonard eyes . The very idea seemed to produce in [her]_81-ruth so much shrinking affright , that by mutual consent the subject was dropped ; to be taken up again , or not , according to circumstances . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} wrote the next morning , on [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's behalf , to [the Insurance Company]_{3608-the insurance company} , to inquire about the bonus . Although [he]_{193-mr farquhar} wrote in the usual formal way , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} did not think it necessary to tell [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} what [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had done ; for [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's name was rarely mentioned between [the partners]_{3609-the partners} ; [each]_2034-each had been made fully aware of the views which [the other]_{380-the other} entertained on the subject that had caused the estrangement ; and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} felt that no external argument could affect [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's resolved disapproval and avoidance of [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} former minister]_{3612-his former minister} . As it happened , the answer from [the Insurance Company]_{3608-the insurance company} ( directed to [the firm]_{5329-the firm} ) was given to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} along with the other business letters . It was to the effect that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's shares had been sold and transferred above a twelvemonth ago , which sufficiently accounted for the circumstance that no notification of the bonus had been sent to [him]_{143-mr benson} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} tossed the letter on one side , not displeased to have a good reason for feeling a little contempt at the unbusiness - like forgetfulness of [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , at whose instance [some one]_{378-some one} had evidently been writing to [the Insurance Company]_{3608-the insurance company} . On [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's entrance [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} expressed this feeling to [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " Really , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} said , " [these Dissenting ministers]_{6433-these dissenting ministers} have no more notion of exactitude in [their]_{6433-these dissenting ministers} affairs than [a child]_{556-a child} ! The idea of forgetting that [he]_{143-mr benson} has sold [his]_{143-mr benson} shares , and applying for the bonus , when it seems [he]_{143-mr benson} has transferred them only a year ago ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was reading the letter while [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke . " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do n't quite understand it , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was quite clear about it . [He]_{143-mr benson} could not have received [his]_{143-mr benson} half - yearly dividends unless [he]_{143-mr benson} had been possessed of these shares ; and [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do n't suppose [Dissenting ministers]_{6435-dissenting ministers} , with all [their]_{6435-dissenting ministers} ignorance of business , are unlike [other men]_{6133-other men} in knowing whether or not [they]_{6435-dissenting ministers} receive the money that [they]_{6435-dissenting ministers} believe to be owing to [them]_{6435-dissenting ministers} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} should not wonder if [they]_{6435-dissenting ministers} were -- if [Benson]_{143-mr benson} was , at any rate . Why , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} never knew [his]_{143-mr benson} watch to be right in all [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} life -- it was always too fast or too slow ; it must have been a daily discomfort to [him]_{143-mr benson} . It ought to have been . Depend upon it , [his]_{143-mr benson} money matters are just in the same irregular state ; no accounts kept , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} 'll be bound . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} do n't see that that follows , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , half amused . " That watch of [his]_{143-mr benson} is a very curious one -- belonged to [[his]_{143-mr benson} father]_{658-his father} and [grandfather]_{6438-grandfather} , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} do n't know how far back . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " And the sentimental feelings which [he]_{143-mr benson} is guided by prompt [him]_{143-mr benson} to keep it , to the inconvenience of [himself]_{143-mr benson} and [every one else]_{2841-every one else} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} gave up the subject of the watch as hopeless . " But about this letter . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} wrote , at [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's desire , to [the Insurance Office]_{6440-the insurance office} , and [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am not satisfied with this answer . All the transaction has passed through [our]_6441-we hands . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} do not think it is likely [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} would write and sell the shares without , at any rate , informing [us]_6441-we at the time , even though [he]_{143-mr benson} forgot all about it afterwards . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Probably [he]_{143-mr benson} told [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} , or [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " [We]_6441-we can ask [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} at once . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am afraid [we]_6441-we must wait till [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} comes [home]_4124-home , for [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do n't know where a letter would catch [him]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} pulled the bell that rang into [[the head - clerk]_{3617-the head - clerk} 's room]_{3618-the head - clerk 's room} , saying as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did so , " [You]_{193-mr farquhar} may depend upon it , [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , the blunder lies with [Benson]_{143-mr benson} [himself]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{143-mr benson} is just the man to muddle away [his]_{143-mr benson} money in indiscriminate charity , and then to wonder what has become of it . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was discreet enough to hold [his]_{193-mr farquhar} tongue . " [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , as [the old clerk]_{3619-the old clerk} made [his]_{3619-the old clerk} appearance , " here is some mistake about those Insurance shares [we]_6443-we purchased for [Benson]_{143-mr benson} ten or a dozen years ago . [He]_{143-mr benson} spoke to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} about some bonus [they]_6444-they are paying to [the shareholders]_{6445-the shareholders} , it seems ; and , in reply to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's letter , [the Insurance Company]_{3608-the insurance company} say the shares were sold twelve months since . Have [you]_{267-mr watson} any knowledge of the transaction ? Has the transfer passed through [your]_{267-mr watson} hands ? By the way "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} ( turning to [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ) , " who kept the certificates ? Did [Benson]_{143-mr benson} or [we]_6443-we ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} really do n't know , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . " Perhaps [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} can tell [us]_6443-we . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} meanwhile was studying the letter . When [he]_{267-mr watson} had ended it , [he]_{267-mr watson} took off [his]_{267-mr watson} spectacles , wiped them , and replacing them , [he]_{267-mr watson} read it again . " It seems very strange , [sir]_4181-sir , "_{[267-mr watson]} [he]_{267-mr watson} said at length , with [his]_{267-mr watson} trembling , aged voice , " for [I]_{267-mr watson} paid [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} the account of the dividends [myself]_{267-mr watson} last June , and got a receipt in form , and that is since the date of the alleged transfer . "_{[267-mr watson]} " Pretty nearly twelve months after it took place , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . " How did [you]_{143-mr benson} receive the dividends ? An order on [the Bank]_{3464-the bank} , along with [old Mrs Cranmer]_{268-old mrs cranmer} 's ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} asked [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , sharply . " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do n't know how [they]_6449-they came . [Mr Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} gave [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} the money , and desired [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} to get the receipt . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " It 's unlucky [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} is from [home]_4124-home , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} could have cleared up this mystery for [us]_6451-us . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was silent . " Do [you]_{143-mr benson} know where the certificates were kept , [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [he]_{193-mr farquhar} . " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} 'll not be sure , but [I]_{193-mr farquhar} think [they]_6449-they were with [Mrs Cranmer]_{268-old mrs cranmer} 's papers and deeds in box A , 24 . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} wish [old Cranmer]_{268-old mrs cranmer} would have made [any other man]_{6452-any other man} [[his]_{6452-any other man} executor]_{6453-his executor} . [She]_{268-old mrs cranmer} , too , is always coming with some unreasonable request or other . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's inquiry about [his]_{143-mr benson} bonus is perfectly reasonable , at any rate . "_{[267-mr watson]} [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} , who was dwelling in the slow fashion of age on what had been said before , now spoke : " [I]_{267-mr watson} 'll not be sure , but [I]_{267-mr watson} am almost certain , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} said , when [I]_{267-mr watson} paid [him]_{143-mr benson} last June , that [he]_{143-mr benson} thought [he]_{143-mr benson} ought to give the receipt on a stamp , and had spoken about it to [Mr Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} the time before , but that [Mr Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} said it was of no consequence . Yes , "_{[267-mr watson]} continued [he]_{267-mr watson} , gathering up [his]_{267-mr watson} memory as [he]_{267-mr watson} went on , " [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did -- [I]_{267-mr watson} remember now -- and [I]_{267-mr watson} thought to [myself]_{267-mr watson} that [Mr Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} was but [a young man]_{824-a young man} . [Mr Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} will know all about it . "_{[267-mr watson]} " Yes , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , gravely . " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} sha n't wait till [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's return , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " [We]_6455-we can soon see if the certificates are in the box [Watson]_{267-mr watson} points out ; if they are there , [the Insurance people]_{6456-the insurance people} are no more fit to manage [their]_{6456-the insurance people} concern than that cat , and [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} shall tell [them]_{6456-the insurance people} so . If [they]_{6456-the insurance people} are not there ( as [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} suspect will prove to be the case ) , it is just forgetfulness on [Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's part , as [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have said from the first . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " [You]_{269-mr farquhar's} forget the payment of the dividends , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , in a low voice . " Well , [sir]_4181-sir ! what then ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , abruptly . While [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke -- while [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} eye met [Mr Farquhar's]_{269-mr farquhar's} -- the hinted meaning of the latter flashed through [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} mind ; but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was only made angry to find that such a suspicion could pass through [any one]_{425-any one} 's imagination . " [I]_{267-mr watson} suppose [I]_{267-mr watson} may go , [sir]_4181-sir , "_{[267-mr watson]} said [Watson]_{267-mr watson} , respectfully , an uneasy consciousness of what was in [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's thoughts troubling [the faithful old clerk]_{3621-the faithful old clerk} . " Yes . Go . What do [you]_{193-mr farquhar} mean about the dividends ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} asked [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , impetuously of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . " Simply , that [I]_{193-mr farquhar} think there can have been no forgetfulness -- no mistake on [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's part , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , unwilling to put [his]_{193-mr farquhar} dim suspicion into words . " Then of course it is some blunder of [that confounded Insurance Company]_{6459-that confounded insurance company} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} will write to [them]_{6459-that confounded insurance company} to - day , and make [them]_{6459-that confounded insurance company} a little brisker and more correct in [their]_{6459-that confounded insurance company} statements . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Do n't [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} think it would be better to wait till [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's return ? [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} may be able to explain it . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " No , [sir]_4181-sir ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , sharply . " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do not think it would be better . It has not been [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} way of doing business to spare [any one]_{425-any one} , or [any company]_{6462-any company} , the consequences of [their]_{6459-that confounded insurance company} own carelessness ; nor to obtain information second - hand when [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} could have it direct from the source . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} shall write to [the Insurance Office]_{6440-the insurance office} by the next post . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} saw that any further remonstrance on [his]_{193-mr farquhar} part would only aggravate [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} partner]_{2434-his partner} 's obstinacy ; and , besides , it was but a suspicion -- an uncomfortable suspicion . It was possible that [some of [the clerks at [the Insurance Office]_{6440-the insurance office}]_{3624-the clerks at the insurance office}]_{3623-some of the clerks at the insurance office} might have made a mistake . [Watson]_{267-mr watson} was not sure , after all , that the certificates had been deposited in [box A]_{3626-box a} , 24 ; and when [he]_{267-mr watson} and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} could not find them [there]_332-there , [the old man]_{879-the old man} drew more and yet more back from [his]_{879-the old man} first assertion of belief that they had been placed [there]_332-there . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} wrote an angry and indignant reproach of carelessness to [the Insurance Company]_{3608-the insurance company} . By the next mail [one of [[their]_{3608-the insurance company} clerks]_{3632-their clerks}]_{3631-one of their clerks} came down to [Eccleston]_36-eccleston ; and having leisurely refreshed [himself]_{3631-one of their clerks} at [the inn]_{1055-the inn} , and ordered [his]_{3631-one of their clerks} dinner with care , [he]_{3631-one of their clerks} walked up to [the great warehouse of [Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} and [Co.]_213-co.]_{3634-the great warehouse of bradshaw and co.} , and sent in [his]_{3631-one of their clerks} card , with a pencil notification , " On the part of [the Star Insurance Company]_{6464-the star insurance company} , "_{[3631-one of their clerks]} to [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} [himself]_{3631-one of their clerks} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} held the card in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} hand for a minute or two without raising [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} eyes . Then [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke out loud and firm : " Desire [the gentleman]_{469-the gentleman} to walk up . Stay ! [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} will ring [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} bell in a minute or two , and then show [him]_{469-the gentleman} [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} When [the errand - boy]_{3635-the errand - boy} had closed the door , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} went to a cupboard where [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} usually kept a glass and a bottle of wine ( of which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} very seldom partook , for [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was [an abstemious man]_{3636-an abstemious man} ) . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} intended now to take a glass , but the bottle was empty ; and though there was plenty more to be had for ringing , or even simply going into [another room]_{3637-another room} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would not allow [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} to do this . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} stood and lectured [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} in thought . " After all , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am [a fool]_{5208-a fool} for once in [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} life . If the certificates are in no box which [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have yet examined , that does not imply they may not be in some one which [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have not had time to search . [Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} would stay so late last night ! And even if they are in none of the boxes here , that does not prove-- "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} gave the bell a jerking ring , and it was yet sounding when [Mr Smith]_103-smith , [the insurance clerk]_{3638-the insurance clerk} , entered . [The manager of [the Insurance Company]_{3608-the insurance company}]_{3639-the manager of the insurance company} had been considerably nettled at the tone of [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's letter ; and had instructed [the clerk]_{3641-the clerk} to assume some dignity at first in vindicating ( as it was well in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} power to do ) the character of the proceedings of [the Company]_{3642-the company} , but at the same time [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was not to go too far , for [the firm of Bradshaw and Co.]_{3643-the firm of bradshaw and co.} was daily looming larger in the commercial world , and if any reasonable explanation could be given it was to be received , and bygones be bygones . " Sit down , [sir]_4181-sir ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " [You]_4181-sir are aware , [sir]_4181-sir , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} presume , that [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} come on the part of [Mr Dennison]_{270-mr dennison} , [the manager of [the Star Insurance Company]_{6464-the star insurance company}]_{6470-the manager of the star insurance company} , to reply in person to a letter of [yours]_4181-sir , of [the 29th]_{6472-the 29th} , addressed to [him]_{270-mr dennison} ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} bowed . " A very careless piece of business , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} said , stiffly . " [Mr Dennison]_{270-mr dennison} does not think [you]_4181-sir will consider it as such when [you]_4181-sir have seen the deed of transfer , which [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am commissioned to show [you]_4181-sir . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} took the deed with a steady hand . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} wiped [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} spectacles quietly , without delay , and without hurry , and adjusted them on [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} nose . It is possible that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was rather long in looking over the document -- at least , [the clerk]_{3641-the clerk} had just begun to wonder if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was reading through the whole of it , instead of merely looking at the signature , when [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} said : " It is possible that it may be -- of course , [you]_4181-sir will allow [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} to take this paper to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , to -- to inquire if this be [his]_{143-mr benson} signature ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " There can be no doubt of it , [I]_{3641-the clerk} think , [sir]_4181-sir , "_{[3641-the clerk]} said [the clerk]_{3641-the clerk} , calmly smiling , for [he]_{3641-the clerk} knew [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's signature well . " [I]_{3641-the clerk} do n't know , [sir]_4181-sir -- [I]_{3641-the clerk} do n't know . "_{[3641-the clerk]} ( [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} was speaking as if the pronunciation of every word required a separate effort of will , like [a man who has received a slight paralytic stroke]_{3646-a man who has received a slight paralytic stroke} . ) " [You]_4181-sir have heard , [sir]_4181-sir , of such a thing as forgery -- forgery , [sir]_4181-sir ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} , repeating the last word very distinctly ; for [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} feared that the first time [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had said it , it was rather slurred over . " Oh , [sir]_4181-sir ! there is no room for imagining such a thing , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} assure [you]_4181-sir . In [our]_6478-our affairs [we]_6478-our become aware of curious forgetfulness on the part of [those who are not of business habits]_{6479-those who are not of business habits} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " Still [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} should like to show it [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , to prove to [him]_{143-mr benson} [his]_{143-mr benson} forgetfulness , [you]_4181-sir know . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} believe , on [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} soul , it is some of [his]_{143-mr benson} careless forgetfulness -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do , [sir]_4181-sir , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} . Now [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke very quickly . " It must have been . Allow [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} to convince [myself]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [You]_4181-sir shall have it back to - night , or the first thing in the morning . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [The clerk]_{3641-the clerk} did not quite like to relinquish the deed , nor yet did [he]_{3641-the clerk} like to refuse [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . If that very uncomfortable idea of forgery should have any foundation in truth -- and [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had given up the writing ! There were a thousand chances to one against its being anything but a stupid blunder ; the risk was more imminent of offending [one of [the directors]_{3649-the directors}]_{3648-one of the directors} . As [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} hesitated , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke , very calmly , and almost with a smile on [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} face . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} had regained [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} self - command . " [You]_4181-sir are afraid , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} see . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} assure [you]_4181-sir , [you]_4181-sir may trust [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} . If there has been any fraud -- if [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have the slightest suspicion of the truth of the surmise [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} threw out just now,"--he_{[149-mr bradshaw]} could not quite speak the bare naked word that was chilling [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} heart--"I will not fail to aid the ends of justice , even though [the culprit]_{6481-the culprit} should be [[my]_{149-mr bradshaw} own son]_{6482-my own son} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} ended , as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} began , with a smile -- such a smile!--the stiff lips refused to relax and cover the teeth . But all the time [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} kept saying to [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} : " [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do n't believe it -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} do n't believe it . [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} 'm convinced it 's a blunder of [that old fool]_{6483-that old fool} [Benson]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} But when [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had dismissed [the clerk]_{3641-the clerk} , and secured the piece of paper , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} went and locked the door , and laid [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} head on [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} desk , and moaned aloud . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} had lingered in [the office]_{3651-the office} for the two previous nights ; at first , occupying [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} in searching for the certificates of the Insurance shares ; but , when all the boxes and other repositories for papers had been ransacked , the thought took hold of [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} that they might be in [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's private desk ; and , with the determination which overlooks the means to get at the end , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had first tried all [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} own keys on the complicated lock , and then broken it open with two decided blows of a poker , the instrument nearest at hand . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not find the certificates . [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} had always considered [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} careful in destroying any dangerous or tell - tale papers ; but [the stern father]_{3652-the stern father} found enough , in what remained , to convince [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} that [[his]_{3652-the stern father} pattern son]_{3653-his pattern son} -- more even than [[his]_{3652-the stern father} pattern son]_{3653-his pattern son} , [[his]_{3652-the stern father} beloved pride]_{3655-his beloved pride} -- was far other than what [he]_{3653-his pattern son} seemed . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not skip or miss a word . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not shrink while [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} read . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} folded up letter by letter ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} snuffed the candle just when its light began to wane , and no sooner ; but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not miss or omit one paper -- [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} read every word . Then , leaving the letters in a heap upon the table , and the broken desk to tell its own tale , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} locked the door of [the room]_{357-the room} which was appropriated to [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} son]_{3657-his son} as [junior partner]_{3658-junior partner} , and carried the key away with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . There was a faint hope , even after this discovery of many circumstances of [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's life which shocked and dismayed [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} -- there was still a faint hope that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} might not be guilty of forgery -- that it might be no forgery after all -- only a blunder -- an omission -- a stupendous piece of forgetfulness . That hope was the one straw that [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} clung to . Late that night [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} sat in [[his]_{143-mr benson} study]_{1727-his study} . [Every one else in [the house]_{426-the house}]_{3661-every one else in the house} had gone to bed ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} was expecting a summons to [someone who was dangerously ill]_{3663-someone who was dangerously ill} . [He]_{143-mr benson} was not startled , therefore , at the knock which came to the front door about twelve ; but [he]_{143-mr benson} was rather surprised at the character of the knock , so slow and loud , with a pause between each rap . [[His]_{143-mr benson} study]_{1727-his study} - door was but a step from that which led into [the street]_{347-the street} . [He]_{143-mr benson} opened it , and there stood -- [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} large , portly figure not to be mistaken even in the dusky night . [He]_{143-mr benson} said , " That is right . It was [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} [I]_{143-mr benson} wanted to see . "_{[143-mr benson]} And [he]_{143-mr benson} walked straight into [the study]_{1738-the study} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} followed , and shut the door . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was standing by the table , fumbling in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} pocket . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} pulled out the deed ; and opening it , after a pause , in which [you]_3667-you might have counted five , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} held it out to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Read it ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke not another word until time had been allowed for its perusal . Then [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} added : " That is [your]_{143-mr benson} signature ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} The words were an assertion , but the tone was that of question . " No , it is not , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , decidedly . " It is very like [my]_{143-mr benson} writing . [I]_{143-mr benson} could almost say it was [mine]_{143-mr benson} , but [I]_{143-mr benson} know it is not . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Recollect [yourself]_3667-you a little . The date is August the third of last year , fourteen months ago . [You]_3667-you may have forgotten it . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} The tone of the voice had a kind of eager entreaty in it , which [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} did not notice,--he was so startled at the fetch of [his]_{143-mr benson} own writing . " It is most singularly like [mine]_{143-mr benson} ; but [I]_{143-mr benson} could not have signed away these shares -- all the property [I]_{143-mr benson} have -- without the slightest remembrance of it . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Stranger things have happened . For the love of [Heaven]_56-heaven , think if [you]_3667-you did not sign it . It 's a deed of transfer for those Insurance shares , [you]_3667-you see . [You]_3667-you do n't remember it ? [You]_3667-you did not write this name -- these words ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} looked at [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} with craving wistfulness for one particular answer . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was struck at last by the whole proceeding , and glanced anxiously at [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , whose manner , gait , and voice were so different from usual that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} might well excite attention . But as soon as [the latter]_{1745-the latter} was aware of this momentary inspection , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} changed [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} tone all at once . " Do n't imagine , [sir]_4181-sir , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} wish to force any invention upon [you]_4181-sir as a remembrance . If [you]_4181-sir did not write this name , [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} know who did . Once more [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} ask you,--does no glimmering recollection of -- having needed money , [we]_6485-we 'll say -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} never wanted [you]_4181-sir to refuse [my]_{149-mr bradshaw} subscription to [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel} , [God]_6487-god knows!--of having sold these accursed shares?--Oh ! [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} see by [your]_4181-sir face [you]_4181-sir did not write it ; [you]_4181-sir need not speak to [me]_{149-mr bradshaw} -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} know . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} sank down into a chair near [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} whole figure drooped . In a moment [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was up , and standing straight as an arrow , confronting [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who could find no clue to [this stern man]_{3669-this stern man} 's agitation . " [You]_{143-mr benson} say [you]_{143-mr benson} did not write these words ? "_{[143-mr benson]} pointing to the signature , with an untrembling finger . " [I]_{143-mr benson} believe [you]_4181-sir ; [Richard Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} did write them . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [[My]_{143-mr benson} dear [sir]_4181-sir]_{6488-my dear sir} -- [[my]_{143-mr benson} dear old friend]_{6490-my dear old friend} ! "_{[143-mr benson]} exclaimed [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , " [you]_4181-sir are rushing to a conclusion for which , [I]_{143-mr benson} am convinced , there is no foundation ; there is no reason to suppose that because-- "_{[143-mr benson]} " There is reason , [sir]_4181-sir . Do not distress [yourself]_4181-sir -- [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} am perfectly calm . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} stony eyes and immovable face did indeed look rigid . " What [we]_6492-we have now to do is to punish the offence . [I]_{143-mr benson} have not one standard for [myself]_{143-mr benson} and those [I]_{143-mr benson} love--(and , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [I]_{143-mr benson} did love [him)--and]_{6493-him)--and} another for the rest of [the world]_{506-the world} . If [a stranger]_{2130-a stranger} had forged [my]_{143-mr benson} name , [I]_{143-mr benson} should have known it was [my]_{143-mr benson} duty to prosecute [him]_{2130-a stranger} . [You]_{143-mr benson} must prosecute [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} will not , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [You]_{143-mr benson} think , perhaps , that [I]_{143-mr benson} shall feel it acutely . [You]_{143-mr benson} are mistaken . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} is no longer as [[my]_{143-mr benson} son]_{1320-my son} to [me]_{143-mr benson} . [I]_{143-mr benson} have always resolved to disown [any child of mine who was guilty of sin]_{6497-any child of mine who was guilty of sin} . [I]_{143-mr benson} disown [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} is as [a stranger to [me]_{143-mr benson}]_{6498-a stranger to me} . [I]_{143-mr benson} shall feel no more at [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} exposure -- [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} punishment-- "_{[143-mr benson]} [He]_{143-mr benson} could not go on , for [his]_{143-mr benson} voice was choking . " Of course , [you]_{143-mr benson} understand that [I]_{143-mr benson} must feel shame at [our]_6499-our connexion ; it is that that is troubling [me]_{143-mr benson} ; that is but consistent with [a man who has always prided [himself]_{6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name} on the integrity of [his]_{6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name} name]_{6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name} ; but as for [that boy]_{6320-that boy} , who has been brought up all [his]_{6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name} life as [I]_{143-mr benson} have brought up [[my]_{143-mr benson} children]_{6502-my children} , it must be some innate wickedness ! [Sir]_4181-sir , [I]_{143-mr benson} can cut [him]_{6320-that boy} off , though [he]_{6320-that boy} has been as [[my]_{143-mr benson} right hand]_{6504-my right hand} -- beloved . Let [me]_{143-mr benson} be no hindrance to the course of justice , [I]_{143-mr benson} beg . [He]_{6320-that boy} has forged [your]_4181-sir name -- [he]_{6320-that boy} has defrauded [you]_4181-sir of money -- of [your]_4181-sir all , [I]_{143-mr benson} think [you]_4181-sir said . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Someone]_6505-someone has forged [my]_{143-mr benson} name . [I]_{143-mr benson} am not convinced that it was [[your]_4181-sir son]_{1455-your son} . Until [I]_{143-mr benson} know all the circumstances , [I]_{143-mr benson} decline to prosecute . "_{[143-mr benson]} " What circumstances ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} asked [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , in an authoritative manner , which would have shown irritation but for [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} self - command . " The force of the temptation -- the previous habits of [the person--]_{6507-the person--} "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} " Of [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} is [the person]_{1983-the person} , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} put in . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} went on , without taking any notice . " [I]_{143-mr benson} should think it right to prosecute , if [I]_{143-mr benson} found out that this offence against [me]_{143-mr benson} was only one of a series committed , with premeditation , against [society]_6509-society . [I]_{143-mr benson} should then feel , as a protector of others more helpless than [myself--]_{143-mr benson} "_{[143-mr benson]} " It was [your]_{143-mr benson} all , "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} said [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " It was all [my]_{143-mr benson} money ; it was not [my]_{143-mr benson} all , "_{[143-mr benson]} replied [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; and then [he]_{143-mr benson} went on as if the interruption had never been : " Against [an habitual offender]_{6510-an habitual offender} . [I]_{143-mr benson} shall not prosecute [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . Not because [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} is [[your]_{143-mr benson} son]_{1455-your son} -- do not imagine that ! [I]_{143-mr benson} should decline taking such a step against [any young man]_{6359-any young man} without first ascertaining the particulars about [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , which [I]_{143-mr benson} know already about [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and which determine [me]_{143-mr benson} against doing what would blast [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} character for life -- would destroy every good quality [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has . "_{[143-mr benson]} " What good quality remains to [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ? "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} asked [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} . " [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} has deceived [me]_{143-mr benson} -- [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has offended [God]_104-leonard . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Have [we]_6513-we not all offended [Him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} said , in a low tone . " Not consciously . [I]_{143-mr benson} never do wrong consciously . But [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} -- [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . "_{[143-mr benson]} The remembrance of the undeceiving letters -- the forgery -- filled up [his]_{143-mr benson} heart so completely that [he]_{143-mr benson} could not speak for a minute or two . Yet when [he]_{143-mr benson} saw [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} on the point of saying something , [he]_{143-mr benson} broke in : " It is no use talking , [sir]_4181-sir . [You]_4181-sir and [I]_{143-mr benson} can not agree on these subjects . Once more , [I]_{143-mr benson} desire [you]_4181-sir to prosecute [that boy]_{6320-that boy} , who is no longer [a child of [mine]_{143-mr benson}]_{6516-a child of mine} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [I]_{143-mr benson} shall not prosecute [him]_{6320-that boy} . [I]_{143-mr benson} have said it once for all . To - morrow [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} will be glad that [I]_{143-mr benson} do not listen to [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [I]_{143-mr benson} should only do harm by saying more at present . "_{[143-mr benson]} There is always something aggravating in being told , that the mood in which [we]_3670-our are now viewing things strongly will not be [our]_3670-our mood at some other time . It implies that [our]_3670-our present feelings are blinding [us]_3670-our , and that [some more clear - sighted spectator]_{3671-some more clear - sighted spectator} is able to distinguish [our]_3670-our future better than [we]_3670-our do [ourselves]_3670-our . [The most shallow person]_{3672-the most shallow person} dislikes to be told that [any one]_{425-any one} can gauge [his]_{3672-the most shallow person} depth . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was not soothed by this last remark of [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} stooped down to take up [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} hat and be gone . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} dizzy way of groping , and gave [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} what [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} sought for ; but [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} received no word of thanks . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} went silently towards the door , but , just as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} got there , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} turned round , and said : " If there were [more people like [me]_{149-mr bradshaw}]_{6517-more people like me} , and fewer like [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} , there would be less evil in [the world]_{506-the world} , [sir]_4181-sir . It 's [[your]_{149-mr bradshaw} sentimentalists]_{6520-your sentimentalists} that nurse up sin . "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} Although [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had been very calm during this interview , [he]_{143-mr benson} had been much shocked by what had been let out respecting [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's forgery ; not by the fact itself so much as by what it was a sign of . Still , [he]_{143-mr benson} had known [the young man]_{2393-the young man} from childhood , and had seen , and often regretted , that [his]_{2393-the young man} want of moral courage had rendered [him]_{2393-the young man} peculiarly liable to all the bad effects arising from [[his]_{2393-the young man} father]_{658-his father} 's severe and arbitrary mode of treatment . [Dick]_214-dick would never have had " pluck "_{[143-mr benson]} enough to be [a hardened villain]_{3676-a hardened villain} , under any circumstances ; but , unless some good influence , some strength , was brought to bear upon [him]_{2393-the young man} , [he]_{2393-the young man} might easily sink into [the sneaking scoundrel]_{3677-the sneaking scoundrel} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} determined to go to [[Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's]_{3678-mr farquhar 's} the first thing in the morning , and consult [him]_{193-mr farquhar} as [a calm , clear - headed family friend -- partner in the business]_{3679-a calm , clear - headed family friend -- partner in the business} , as well as [son]_3680-son and [brother - in - law to [the people concerned]_{3682-the people concerned}]_{3681-brother - in - law to the people concerned} . CHAPTER XXXI An Accident to [the Dover Coach]_{3683-the dover coach} While [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} lay awake for fear of oversleeping [himself]_{143-mr benson} , and so being late at [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's ( it was somewhere about six o'clock -- dark as an October morning is at that time ) , [Sally]_148-sally came to [his]_{143-mr benson} door and knocked . [She]_148-sally was always [an early riser]_{3684-an early riser} ; and if [she]_148-sally had not been gone to bed long before [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's visit last night , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} might safely have trusted to [her]_148-sally calling [him]_{143-mr benson} . " Here 's [a woman down below]_{6521-a woman down below} as must see [you]_{143-mr benson} directly . [She]_{6521-a woman down below} 'll be [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} after [me]_{143-mr benson} if [you]_{143-mr benson} 're not down quick . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Is it any one from [Clarke]_272-clarke 's ? "_[148-sally] " No , no ! not it , [master]_4301-master , "_[148-sally] said [she]_148-sally , through the keyhole ; " [I]_148-sally reckon it 's [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , for all [she]_{6521-a woman down below} 's muffled up . "_[148-sally] [He]_{143-mr benson} needed no other word . When [he]_{143-mr benson} went down , [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} sat in [his]_{143-mr benson} easy - chair , swaying [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} body to and fro , and crying without restraint . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} came up to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , before [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} was aware that [he]_{143-mr benson} was there . " Oh ! [sir]_4181-sir , "_[148-sally] said [she]_148-sally , getting up and taking hold of both [his]_{143-mr benson} hands , " [you]_{143-mr benson} wo n't be so cruel , will [you]_{143-mr benson} ? [I]_148-sally have got some money somewhere -- some money [[my]_148-sally father]_{4925-my father} settled on [me]_148-sally , [sir]_4181-sir ; [I]_148-sally do n't know how much , but [I]_148-sally think it 's more than two thousand pounds , and [you]_{143-mr benson} shall have it all . If [I]_148-sally ca n't give it [you]_{143-mr benson} now , [I]_148-sally 'll make a will , [sir]_4181-sir . Only be merciful to poor [Dick]_214-dick -- don't go and prosecute [him]_214-dick , [sir]_4181-sir . "_[148-sally] " [[My]_{143-mr benson} dear]_{4145-my dear} [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , do n't agitate [yourself]_{143-mr benson} in this way . [I]_{143-mr benson} never meant to prosecute [him]_214-dick . "_{[143-mr benson]} " But [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} says that [you]_{143-mr benson} must . "_[148-sally] " [I]_148-sally shall not , indeed . [I]_148-sally have told [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} so . "_[148-sally] " Has [he]_214-dick been [here]_4172-here ? Oh ! is not [he]_214-dick cruel ? [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't care . [I]_{143-mr benson} 've been [a good wife]_{6531-a good wife} till now . [I]_{143-mr benson} know [I]_{143-mr benson} have . [I]_{143-mr benson} have done all [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} bid [me]_{143-mr benson} , ever since [we]_6532-we were married . But now [I]_{143-mr benson} will speak [my]_{143-mr benson} mind , and say to [everybody]_{505-everybody} how cruel [he]_214-dick is -- how hard to [his]_214-dick own flesh and blood ! If [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} puts poor [Dick]_214-dick in [prison]_6534-prison , [I]_{143-mr benson} will go too . If [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm to choose between [[my]_{143-mr benson} husband]_{6535-my husband} and [[my]_{143-mr benson} son]_{1320-my son} , [I]_{143-mr benson} choose [[my]_{143-mr benson} son]_{1320-my son} ; for [he]_{1320-my son} will have [no friends]_{690-no friends} , unless [I]_{143-mr benson} am with [him]_{1320-my son} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} will think better of it . [You]_3685-i will see that , when [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} first anger and disappointment are over , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} will not be hard or cruel . "_[148-sally] " [You]_{149-mr bradshaw} do n't know [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , "_[3685-i] said [she]_3685-i , mournfully , " if [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} think [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} 'll change . [I]_3685-i might beg and beg -- [I]_3685-i have done many a time , when [we]_6539-we had [little children]_{2014-little children} , and [I]_3685-i wanted to save [them]_{2014-little children} a whipping -- but no begging ever did any good . At last [I]_3685-i left it off . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} 'll not change . "_[3685-i] " Perhaps not for human entreaty . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , is there nothing more powerful ? "_[3686-his] The tone of [his]_3686-his voice suggested what [he]_3686-his did not say . " If [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} mean that [God]_104-leonard may soften [his]_3686-his heart , "_[3685-i] replied [she]_3685-i , humbly , " [I]_3685-i 'm not going to deny [God]_104-leonard 's power -- [I]_3685-i have need to think of [Him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , "_[3685-i] [she]_3685-i continued , bursting into fresh tears , " for [I]_3685-i am [a very miserable woman]_{6541-a very miserable woman} . Only think ! [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} cast it up against [me]_3685-i last night , and said , if [I]_3685-i had not spoilt [Dick]_214-dick this never would have happened . "_[3685-i] " [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} hardly knew what [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was saying last night . [I]_3687-he will go to [[Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's directly]_{6542-mr farquhar 's directly} , and see [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; and [you]_3688-her had better go [home]_4124-home , [[my]_3687-he dear]_{4145-my dear} [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} ; [you]_3688-her may rely upon [our]_6545-our doing all that [we]_6545-our can . "_[3687-he] With some difficulty [he]_3687-he persuaded [her]_3688-her not to accompany [him]_3687-he to [[Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's]_{3678-mr farquhar 's} ; but [he]_3687-he had , indeed , to take [her]_3688-her to [her]_3688-her own door before [he]_3687-he could convince [her]_3688-her that , at present , [she]_3688-her could do nothing but wait the result of the consultation of [others]_368-others . It was before breakfast , and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was alone ; so [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had a quiet opportunity of telling the whole story to [the husband]_{861-the husband} before [the wife]_{3692-the wife} came down . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} was not much surprised , though greatly distressed . The general opinion [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had always entertained of [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's character had predisposed [him]_{193-mr farquhar} to fear , even before the inquiry respecting the Insurance shares . But it was still a shock when it came , however much it might have been anticipated . " What can [we]_6546-we do ? "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , as [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} sat gloomily silent . " That is just what [I]_{193-mr farquhar} was asking [myself]_{193-mr farquhar} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} think [I]_{193-mr farquhar} must see [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , and try and bring [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} a little out of this unmerciful frame of mind . That must be the first thing . Will [you]_{193-mr farquhar} object to accompany [me]_{193-mr farquhar} at once ? It seems of particular consequence that [we]_6546-we should subdue [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} obduracy before the affair gets wind . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} will go with [you]_{193-mr farquhar} willingly . But [I]_{143-mr benson} believe [I]_{143-mr benson} rather serve to irritate [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} is reminded of things [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has said to [me]_{143-mr benson} formerly , and which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thinks [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} is bound to act up to . However , [I]_{143-mr benson} can walk with [you]_{193-mr farquhar} to the door , and wait for [you]_{193-mr farquhar} ( if [you]_{193-mr farquhar} 'll allow [me]_{143-mr benson} ) in [the street]_{347-the street} . [I]_{143-mr benson} want to know how [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} is to - day , both bodily and mentally ; for indeed , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , [I]_{143-mr benson} should not have been surprised last night if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had dropped down dead , so terrible was [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} strain upon [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} . "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was left at the door as [he]_{143-mr benson} had desired , while [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} went in . " Oh , [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , what is the matter ? "_{[414-the girls]} exclaimed [the girls]_{414-the girls} , running to [him]_{193-mr farquhar} . " [Mamma]_113-mamma sits crying in [the old nursery]_{6548-the old nursery} . [We]_{414-the girls} believe [she]_113-mamma has been [there]_332-there all night . [She]_113-mamma will not tell [us]_{414-the girls} what it is , nor let [us]_{414-the girls} be with [her]_113-mamma ; and [papa]_4310-papa is locked up in [[his]_4310-papa room]_{4528-his room} , and wo n't even answer [us]_{414-the girls} when [we]_{414-the girls} speak , though [we]_{414-the girls} know [he]_4310-papa is up and awake , for [we]_{414-the girls} heard [him]_4310-papa tramping about all night . "_{[414-the girls]} " Let [me]_{193-mr farquhar} go up to [him]_4310-papa , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} . " [He]_4310-papa wo n't let [you]_3694-their in . It will be of no use . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} But in spite of what [they]_3694-their said , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} went up ; and to [their]_3694-their surprise , after hearing who it was , [[their]_3694-their father]_{2183-their father} opened the door , and admitted [[their]_3694-their brother - in - law]_{3696-their brother - in - law} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} remained with [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} about half an hour , and then came into [the dining - room]_{5320-the dining - room} , where [the two girls]_{2614-the two girls} stood huddled over the fire , regardless of the untasted breakfast behind [them]_3694-their ; and , writing a few lines , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} desired [them]_{2614-the two girls} to take [his]_{193-mr farquhar} note up to [[their]_3694-their mother]_{2532-their mother} , saying it would comfort [her]_{2532-their mother} a little , and that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} should send [Jemima]_217-jemima , in two or three hours , with [the baby]_{1144-the baby} -- perhaps to remain some days with [them]_{2614-the two girls} . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} had no time to tell [them]_{2614-the two girls} more ; [Jemima]_217-jemima would . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} left [them]_{2614-the two girls} , and rejoined [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Come [home]_4124-home and breakfast with [me]_{193-mr farquhar} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am off to [London]_3-london in an hour or two , and must speak with [you]_{2614-the two girls} first . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} On reaching [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} house]_{2164-his house} , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} ran [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} to ask [Jemima]_217-jemima to breakfast alone in [[her]_217-jemima dressing - room]_{3703-her dressing - room} , and returned in five minutes or less . " Now [I]_{193-mr farquhar} can tell [you]_{2614-the two girls} about it , "_{[193-mr farquhar]} said [he]_{193-mr farquhar} . " [I]_{193-mr farquhar} see [my]_{193-mr farquhar} way clearly to a certain point . [We]_6553-we must prevent [Dick]_214-dick and [[his]_214-dick father]_{658-his father} meeting just now , or all hope of [Dick]_214-dick 's reformation is gone for ever . [[His]_214-dick father]_{658-his father} is as hard as the nether mill - stone . [He]_{658-his father} has forbidden [me]_{193-mr farquhar} [[his]_{658-his father} house]_{2164-his house} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Forbidden [you]_{193-mr farquhar} ! "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Yes ; because [I]_{193-mr farquhar} would not give up [Dick]_214-dick as utterly lost and bad ; and because [I]_{193-mr farquhar} said [I]_{193-mr farquhar} should return to [London]_3-london with [the clerk]_{3641-the clerk} , and fairly tell [Dennison]_{270-mr dennison} ( [he]_{270-mr dennison} 's [a Scotchman]_{6558-a scotchman} , and [a man of sense and feeling]_{6559-a man of sense and feeling} ) the real state of the case . By the way , [we]_6560-we must not say a word to [the clerk]_{3641-the clerk} ; otherwise [he]_{3641-the clerk} will expect an answer , and make out all sorts of inferences for [himself]_{3641-the clerk} , from the unsatisfactory reply [he]_{3641-the clerk} must have . [Dennison]_{270-mr dennison} will be upon honour -- will see every side of the case -- will know [you]_6562-you refuse to prosecute ; [the Company of which]_{6563-the company of which} [he]_{270-mr dennison} is [manager]_6564-manager are [no losers]_{6565-no losers} . Well ! when [I]_{193-mr farquhar} said what [I]_{193-mr farquhar} thought wise , of all this -- when [I]_{193-mr farquhar} spoke as if [my]_{193-mr farquhar} course were a settled and decided thing , [the grim old man]_{6566-the grim old man} asked [me]_{193-mr farquhar} if [he]_{6566-the grim old man} was to be [an automaton in [[his]_{6566-the grim old man} own house]_{6568-his own house}]_{6567-an automaton in his own house} . [He]_{6566-the grim old man} assured [me]_{193-mr farquhar} [he]_{6566-the grim old man} had no feeling for [Dick]_214-dick -- all the time [he]_{6566-the grim old man} was shaking like an aspen ; in short , repeated much the same things [he]_{6566-the grim old man} must have said to [you]_6569-you last night . However , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} defied [him]_{6566-the grim old man} ; and the consequence is , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} 'm forbidden [the house]_{426-the house} , and , what is more , [he]_{6566-the grim old man} says [he]_{6566-the grim old man} will not come to [the office]_{3651-the office} while [I]_{193-mr farquhar} remain [a partner]_{3463-a partner} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " What shall [you]_{193-mr farquhar} do ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " Send [Jemima]_217-jemima and [the baby]_{1144-the baby} . There 's nothing like [a young child]_{6574-a young child} for bringing [people round to a healthy state of feeling]_{6575-people round to a healthy state of feeling} ; and [you]_{193-mr farquhar} do n't know what [Jemima]_217-jemima is , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! No ! though [you]_{193-mr farquhar} 've known [her]_217-jemima from [her]_217-jemima birth . If [she]_217-jemima ca n't comfort [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} , and if [the baby]_{1144-the baby} ca n't steal into [[her]_217-jemima grandfather]_{6578-her grandfather} 's heart , why -- [I]_{193-mr farquhar} do n't know what [you]_{193-mr farquhar} may do to [me]_{193-mr farquhar} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} shall tell [Jemima]_217-jemima all , and trust to [her]_217-jemima wit and wisdom to work at this end , while [I]_{193-mr farquhar} do [my]_{193-mr farquhar} best at the other . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} is abroad , is not [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} ? "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} will be in [England]_21-england to - morrow . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} must catch [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} somewhere ; but that [I]_{193-mr farquhar} can easily do . The difficult point will be , what to do with [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} -- what to say to [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , when [I]_{193-mr farquhar} find [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} must give up [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} partnership , that 's clear . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} did not tell [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} so , but [I]_{193-mr farquhar} am resolved upon it . There shall be no tampering with the honour of [the firm to which [I]_{193-mr farquhar} belong]_{6580-the firm to which i belong} . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " But what will become of [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ? "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , anxiously . " [I]_3704-i do not yet know . But , for [Jemima]_217-jemima 's sake -- for [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} dear old father]_{6581-his dear old father} 's sake -- [I]_3704-i will not leave [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} adrift . [I]_3704-i will find [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} some occupation as clear from temptation as [I]_3704-i can . [I]_3704-i will do all in [my]_3704-i power . And [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} will do much better , if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has any good in [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , as [a freer agent]_{6582-a freer agent} , not cowed by [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} father]_{658-his father} into a want of individuality and self - respect . [I]_3704-i believe [I]_3704-i must dismiss [you]_{143-mr benson} , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , "_[3704-i] said [he]_3704-i , looking at [his]_3704-i watch ; " [I]_3704-i have to explain all to [[my]_3704-i wife]_{6584-my wife} , and to go to [that clerk]_{6585-that clerk} . [You]_{143-mr benson} shall hear from [me]_3704-i in a day or two . "_[3704-i] [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} half envied [the younger man]_{3705-the younger man} 's elasticity of mind , and power of acting promptly . [He]_{143-mr benson} [himself]_{143-mr benson} felt as if [he]_{143-mr benson} wanted to sit down in [[his]_{143-mr benson} quiet study]_{3706-his quiet study} , and think over the revelations and events of the last twenty - four hours . It made [him]_{143-mr benson} dizzy even to follow [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's plans , as [he]_{143-mr benson} had briefly detailed them ; and some solitude and consideration would be required before [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} could decide upon [their]_3707-their justice and wisdom . [He]_{143-mr benson} had been much shocked by the discovery of the overt act of guilt which [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} had perpetrated , low as [his]_{143-mr benson} opinion of [that young man]_{3708-that young man} had been for some time ; and the consequence was , that [he]_{143-mr benson} felt depressed , and unable to rally for the next few days . [He]_{143-mr benson} had not even the comfort of [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} 's sympathy , as [he]_{143-mr benson} felt bound in honour not to tell [her]_{4508-his sister} anything ; and [she]_{4508-his sister} was luckily so much absorbed in some household contest with [Sally]_148-sally that [she]_{4508-his sister} did not notice [[her]_{4508-his sister} brother]_{982-her brother} 's quiet languor . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} felt that [he]_{143-mr benson} had no right at this time to intrude into [the house which [he]_{143-mr benson} had been once tacitly forbidden]_{3711-the house which he had been once tacitly forbidden} . If [he]_{143-mr benson} went now to [[Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's]_{2425-mr bradshaw 's} without being asked , or sent for , [he]_{143-mr benson} thought it would seem like presuming on [his]_{143-mr benson} knowledge of the hidden disgrace of [one of [the family]_{693-the family}]_{3713-one of the family} . Yet [he]_{143-mr benson} longed to go : [he]_{143-mr benson} knew that [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} must be writing almost daily to [Jemima]_217-jemima , and [he]_{143-mr benson} wanted to hear what [he]_{193-mr farquhar} was doing . The fourth day after [[her]_217-jemima husband]_{730-her husband} 's departure [she]_217-jemima came , within half an hour of the post - delivery , and asked to speak to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} alone . [She]_217-jemima was in a state of great agitation , and had evidently been crying very much . " Oh , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! "_[217-jemima] said [she]_217-jemima , " will [you]_{143-mr benson} come with [me]_217-jemima , and tell [papa]_209-papa this sad news about [Dick]_214-dick ? [Walter]_212-walter has written [me]_217-jemima a letter at last to say [he]_212-walter has found [him]_214-dick -- [he]_212-walter could not at first ; but now it seems that , the day before yesterday , [he]_212-walter heard of an accident which had happened to [the Dover coach]_{3683-the dover coach} ; it was overturned -- [two passengers]_{6587-two passengers} killed , and [several badly hurt]_{6588-several badly hurt} . [Walter]_212-walter says [we]_6589-we ought to be thankful , as [he]_212-walter is , that [Dick]_214-dick was not killed . [He]_212-walter says it was such a relief to [him]_212-walter on going to [the place]_{444-the place} -- [the little inn nearest to where [the coach]_{1509-the coach} was overturned]_{6591-the little inn nearest to where the coach was overturned} -- to find that [Dick]_214-dick was only severely injured ; not one of those who was killed . But it is a terrible shock to [us]_6589-we all . [We]_6589-we had had no more dreadful fear to lessen the shock ; [mamma]_4143-mamma is quite unfit for anything , and [we]_6589-we none of [us]_6589-we dare to tell [papa]_4310-papa . "_[217-jemima] [Jemima]_217-jemima had hard work to keep down [her]_217-jemima sobs thus far , and now [they]_3716-they overmastered [her]_217-jemima . " How is [[your]_217-jemima father]_{5319-your father} ? [I]_{143-mr benson} have wanted to hear every day , "_{[143-mr benson]} asked [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , tenderly . " It was careless of [me]_{143-mr benson} not to come and tell [you]_217-jemima ; but , indeed , [I]_{143-mr benson} have had so much to do . [Mamma]_113-mamma would not go near [him]_{5319-your father} . [He]_{5319-your father} has said something which [she]_113-mamma seems as if [she]_113-mamma could not forgive . Because [he]_{5319-your father} came to meals , [she]_113-mamma would not . [She]_113-mamma has almost lived in [the nursery]_{6596-the nursery} ; taking out all [Dick]_214-dick 's old playthings , and what clothes of [his]_{5319-your father} were left , and turning them over , and crying over them . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Then [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} has joined [you]_217-jemima again ; [I]_3716-they was afraid , from what [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} said , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was going to isolate [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} from [you]_217-jemima all ? "_[3716-they] " [I]_217-jemima wish [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , crying afresh . " It would have been more natural than the way [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has gone on ; the only difference from [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} usual habits is , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has never gone near [the office]_{3651-the office} , or else [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has come to [meals]_6598-meals just as usual , and talked just as usual ; and even done what [I]_217-jemima never knew [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} do before , tried to make jokes -- all in order to show [us]_217-jemima how little [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} cares . "_[217-jemima] " Does [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} not go out at all ? "_[3718-her] " Only in [the garden]_{783-the garden} . [I]_217-jemima am sure [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} does care after all ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} must care ; [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} can not shake off [a child]_{556-a child} in this way , though [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thinks [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} can ; and that makes [me]_217-jemima so afraid of telling [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} of this accident . Will [you]_3717-he come , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ? "_[217-jemima] [He]_3717-he needed no other word . [He]_3717-he went with [her]_3718-her , as [she]_3718-her rapidly threaded [her]_3718-her way through [the by - streets]_{3719-the by - streets} . When [they]_3720-they reached [the house]_{426-the house} , [she]_3718-her went in without knocking , and putting [[her]_3718-her husband]_{730-her husband} 's letter into [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's hand , [she]_3718-her opened the door of [[[her]_3718-her father]_{411-her father} 's room]_{3724-her father 's room} , and saying--"Papa , here is [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , "_[3718-her] left [them]_3720-they alone . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} felt nervously incapable of knowing what to do , or to say . [He]_{143-mr benson} had surprised [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} sitting idly over the fire -- gazing dreamily into the embers . But [he]_{143-mr benson} had started up , and drawn [his]_{143-mr benson} chair to the table , on seeing [[his]_{143-mr benson} visitor]_{5508-his visitor} ; and , after the first necessary words of politeness were over , [he]_{143-mr benson} seemed to expect [him]_{143-mr benson} to open the conversation . " [Mrs Farquhar]_{266-mrs farquhar} has asked [me]_{143-mr benson} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , plunging into the subject with a trembling heart , " to tell [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} about a letter [she]_{266-mrs farquhar} has received from [[her]_{266-mrs farquhar} husband]_{730-her husband} ; "_{[143-mr benson]} [he]_{143-mr benson} stopped for an instant , for [he]_{143-mr benson} felt that [he]_{143-mr benson} did not get nearer the real difficulty , and yet could not tell the best way of approaching it . " [She]_{266-mrs farquhar} need not have given [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} that trouble . [I]_{143-mr benson} am aware of the reason of [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's absence . [I]_{143-mr benson} entirely disapprove of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} conduct . [He]_{193-mr farquhar} is regardless of [my]_{143-mr benson} wishes ; and disobedient to the commands which , as [[my]_{143-mr benson} son - in - law]_{6602-my son - in - law} , [I]_{143-mr benson} thought [he]_{193-mr farquhar} would have felt bound to respect . If there is any more agreeable subject that [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} can introduce , [I]_{143-mr benson} shall be glad to hear [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [sir]_4181-sir . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Neither [you]_{149-mr bradshaw} , nor [I]_3726-i , must think of what [we]_6604-we like to hear or to say . [You]_{149-mr bradshaw} must hear what concerns [[your]_{149-mr bradshaw} son]_{1455-your son} . "_[3726-i] " [I]_3726-i have disowned [the young man who was [[my]_3726-i son]_{1320-my son}]_{6606-the young man who was my son} , "_[3726-i] replied [he]_3726-i , coldly . " [The Dover coach]_{3683-the dover coach} has been overturned , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , stimulated into abruptness by the icy sternness of [the father]_{2701-the father} . But , in a flash , [he]_{143-mr benson} saw what lay below that terrible assumption of indifference . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} glanced up in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} face one look of agony -- and then went grey - pale ; so livid that [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} got up to ring the bell in affright , but [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} motioned to [him]_{143-mr benson} to sit still . " Oh ! [I]_{149-mr bradshaw} have been too sudden , [sir]_4181-sir -- [he]_{143-mr benson} is alive , [he]_{143-mr benson} is alive ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} exclaimed , as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} saw the ashy face working in a vain attempt to speak ; but the poor lips ( so wooden , not a minute ago ) went working on and on , as if [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's words did not sink down into the mind , or reach the understanding . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} went hastily for [Mrs Farquhar]_{266-mrs farquhar} . " Oh , [Jemima]_217-jemima ! "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} , " [I]_{143-mr benson} have done it so badly -- [I]_{143-mr benson} have been so cruel -- [he]_{143-mr benson} is very ill , [I]_{143-mr benson} fear -- bring water , brandy-- "_{[143-mr benson]} and [he]_{143-mr benson} returned with all speed into [the room]_{357-the room} . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} -- [the great , strong , iron man]_{3729-the great , strong , iron man} -- lay back in [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} chair in a swoon , a fit . " Fetch [[my]_217-jemima mother]_{4247-my mother} , [Mary]_263-mary . Send for [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} , [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} , "_[217-jemima] said [Jemima]_217-jemima , rushing to [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} . [She]_217-jemima and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} did all in [their]_3731-their power to restore [him]_{411-her father} . [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} forgot all [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} vows of estrangement from [the dead - like husband]_{3732-the dead - like husband} , who might never speak to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , or hear [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} again , and bitterly accused [herself]_{151-mrs bradshaw} for every angry word [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had spoken against [him]_{411-her father} during these last few miserable days . Before [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} came , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had opened [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} eyes and partially rallied , although [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} either did not , or could not speak . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} looked struck down into old age . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} eyes were sensible in [their]_3731-their expression , but had the dim glaze of many years of life upon them . [His]_{149-mr bradshaw} lower jaw fell from [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} upper one , giving a look of melancholy depression to the face , although the lips hid the unclosed teeth . But [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} answered correctly ( in monosyllables , it is true ) all the questions which [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} chose to ask . And [the medical man]_{597-the medical man} was not so much impressed with the serious character of the seizure as [the family , who knew all the hidden mystery behind]_{3736-the family , who knew all the hidden mystery behind} , and had seen [[their]_{3736-the family , who knew all the hidden mystery behind} father]_{2183-their father} lie for the first time with the precursor aspect of death upon [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} face . Rest , watching , and a little medicine were what [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} prescribed ; it was so slight a prescription , for what had appeared to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} so serious an attack , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} wished to follow [the medical man]_{597-the medical man} out of [the room]_{357-the room} to make further inquiries , and learn the real opinion which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} thought must lurk behind . But as [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} was following [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} -- [they]_3742-they all -- were aware of the effort [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} was making to rise , in order to arrest [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's departure . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} did stand up , supporting [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} with one hand on the table , for [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} legs shook under [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} came back instantly to the spot where [he]_{143-mr benson} was . For a moment it seemed as if [he]_{143-mr benson} had not the right command of [his]_{143-mr benson} voice : but at last [he]_{143-mr benson} said , with a tone of humble , wistful entreaty , which was very touching : " [He]_{143-mr benson} is alive , [sir]_4181-sir ; is [he]_{143-mr benson} not ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes , [sir]_4181-sir -- indeed [he]_{143-mr benson} is ; [he]_{143-mr benson} is only hurt . [He]_{143-mr benson} is sure to do well . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} is with [him]_{143-mr benson} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , almost unable to speak for tears . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} did not remove [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} eyes from [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's face for more than a minute after [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} question had been answered . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} seemed as though [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would read [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} very soul , and there see if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} spoke the truth . Satisfied at last , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} sank slowly into [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} chair ; and [they]_3743-their were silent for a little space , waiting to perceive if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would wish for any further information just then . At length [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} put [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} hands slowly together in the clasped attitude of prayer , and said--"Thank [God]_104-leonard ! "_{[149-mr bradshaw]} CHAPTER XXXII [The Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} Pew Again Occupied If [Jemima]_217-jemima allowed [herself]_217-jemima now and then to imagine that one good would result from the discovery of [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's delinquency , in the return of [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} to something of [their]_3743-their old understanding and [their]_3743-their old intercourse -- if this hope fluttered through [her]_217-jemima mind , it was doomed to disappointment . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} would have been most happy to go , if [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had sent for [him]_{143-mr benson} ; [he]_{143-mr benson} was on the watch for what might be even the shadow of such an invitation -- but none came . [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , on [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} part , would have been thoroughly glad if the wilful seclusion of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} present life could have been broken by the occasional visits of [the old friend whom [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had once forbidden [the house]_{426-the house}]_{3745-the old friend whom he had once forbidden the house} ; but this prohibition having passed [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} lips , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} stubbornly refused to do anything which might be construed into unsaying it . [Jemima]_217-jemima was for some time in despair of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} ever returning to [the office]_{3651-the office} , or resuming [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} old habits of business . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} had evidently threatened as much to [[her]_217-jemima husband]_{730-her husband} . All that [Jemima]_217-jemima could do was to turn a deaf ear to every allusion to this menace , which [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} threw out from time to time , evidently with a view to see if it had struck deep enough into [[her]_217-jemima husband]_{730-her husband} 's mind for [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} to have repeated it to [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wife]_{737-his wife} . If [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had named it -- if it was known only to two or three to have been , but for one half - hour even , [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} resolution -- [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} could have adhered to it , without any other reason than the maintenance of what [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} called consistency , but which was in fact doggedness . [Jemima]_217-jemima was often thankful that [[her]_217-jemima mother]_{710-her mother} was absent , and gone to nurse [[her]_{710-her mother} son]_{990-her son} . If [she]_217-jemima had been at [home]_4124-home , [she]_217-jemima would have entreated and implored [[her]_217-jemima husband]_{730-her husband} to fall back into [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} usual habits , and would have shown such a dread of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} being as good as [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} word , that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would have been compelled to adhere to it by the very consequence affixed to it . [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had hard work , as it was , in passing rapidly enough between the two places -- attending to [his]_{193-mr farquhar} business at [Eccleston]_36-eccleston ; and deciding , comforting , and earnestly talking , in [[Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's sick - room]_{3755-richard 's sick - room} . During an absence of [his]_{193-mr farquhar} , it was necessary to apply to one of [the partners]_{3609-the partners} on some matter of importance ; and accordingly , to [Jemima]_217-jemima 's secret joy , [Mr Watson]_{267-mr watson} came up and asked if [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} was well enough to see [him]_{411-her father} on business ? [Jemima]_217-jemima carried in this inquiry literally ; and the hesitating answer which [[her]_217-jemima father]_{411-her father} gave was in the affirmative . It was not long before [she]_217-jemima saw [him]_{411-her father} leave [the house]_{426-the house} , accompanied by [the faithful old clerk]_{3621-the faithful old clerk} ; and when [he]_{411-her father} met [her]_217-jemima at dinner , [he]_{411-her father} made no allusion to [[his]_{411-her father} morning visitor]_{3761-his morning visitor} , or to [his]_{411-her father} subsequent going out . But from that time forwards [he]_{411-her father} went regularly to [the office]_{3651-the office} . [He]_{411-her father} received all the information about [Dick]_214-dick 's accident , and [his]_{411-her father} progress towards recovery , in perfect silence , and in as indifferent a manner as [he]_{411-her father} could assume ; but yet [he]_{411-her father} lingered about [the family sitting - room]_{1716-the family sitting - room} every morning until the post had come in which brought all letters from [the south]_{3764-the south} . When [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} at last returned to bring the news of [Dick]_214-dick 's perfect convalescence , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} resolved to tell [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} all that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} had done and arranged for [[his]_{193-mr farquhar} son]_{3657-his son} 's future career ; but , as [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} told [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} afterwards , [he]_{193-mr farquhar} could not really say if [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had attended to one word that [he]_{193-mr farquhar} said . " Rely upon it , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , " [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has not only attended to it , but treasured up every expression [you]_{193-mr farquhar} have used . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Well , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} tried to get some opinion , or sign of emotion , out of [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} had not much hope of the latter , [I]_{193-mr farquhar} must own ; but [I]_{193-mr farquhar} thought [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would have said whether [I]_{193-mr farquhar} had done wisely or not in procuring that [Glasgow]_69-glasgow situation for [Dick]_214-dick -- that [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would , perhaps , have been indignant at [my]_{193-mr farquhar} ousting [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} from the partnership so entirely on [my]_{193-mr farquhar} own responsibility . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " How did [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} take it ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Oh , nothing could exceed [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} penitence . If [one]_321-one had never heard of the proverb , ' When the devil was sick , [the devil]_{6615-the devil} [a monk]_{6616-a monk} would be , ' [I]_{143-mr benson} should have had greater faith in [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} ; or if [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had had more strength of character to begin with , or more reality and less outward appearance of good principle instilled into [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} . However , this [Glasgow]_69-glasgow situation is the very thing ; clear , defined duties , no great trust reposed in [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} , a kind and watchful head , and introductions to [a better class of [associates]_{6618-associates}]_{6617-a better class of associates} than [I]_{143-mr benson} fancy [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} has ever been thrown amongst before . For , [you]_6619-you know , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} dreaded all intimacies for [[his]_{149-mr bradshaw} son]_{3657-his son} , and wanted [him]_{3657-his son} to eschew all society beyond [[his]_{3657-his son} own family]_{776-his own family} -- would never allow [him]_{3657-his son} to ask [a friend]_{672-a friend} [home]_4124-home . Really , when [I]_{143-mr benson} think of the unnatural life [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} expected [him]_{3657-his son} to lead , [I]_{143-mr benson} get into charity with [him]_{3657-his son} , and have hopes . By the way , have [you]_6619-you ever succeeded in persuading [[his]_{3657-his son} mother]_{655-his mother} to send [Leonard]_104-leonard to [school]_680-school ? [He]_{3657-his son} may run the same risk from isolation as [Dick]_214-dick : not be able to choose [[his]_{3657-his son} companions]_{536-his companions} wisely when [he]_{3657-his son} grows up , but be too much overcome by the excitement of society to be very discreet as to who are [[his]_{3657-his son} associates]_{6627-his associates} . Have [you]_6619-you spoken to [her]_{655-his mother} about [my]_{143-mr benson} plan ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " Yes ! but to no purpose . [I]_{193-mr farquhar} can not say that [she]_{655-his mother} would even admit an argument on the subject . [She]_{655-his mother} seemed to have an invincible repugnance to the idea of exposing [him]_{3657-his son} to the remarks of [other boys]_{3518-other boys} on [his]_{3657-his son} peculiar position . "_{[193-mr farquhar]} " [They]_{3518-other boys} need never know of it . Besides , sooner or later , [he]_{3657-his son} must step out of [his]_{3657-his son} narrow circle , and encounter remark and scorn . "_{[143-mr benson]} " True , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , mournfully . " And [you]_6619-you may depend upon it , if it really is the best for [Leonard]_104-leonard , [she]_{655-his mother} will come round to it by - and - by . It is almost extraordinary to see the way in which [her]_{655-his mother} earnest and most unselfish devotion to [this boy]_{3010-this boy} 's real welfare leads [her]_{655-his mother} to right and wise conclusions . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} wish [I]_{143-mr benson} could tame [her]_{655-his mother} so as to let [me]_{143-mr benson} meet [her]_{655-his mother} as [a friend]_{672-a friend} . Since [the baby]_{1144-the baby} was born , [she]_{655-his mother} comes to see [Jemima]_217-jemima . [[My]_{143-mr benson} wife]_{6584-my wife} tells [me]_{143-mr benson} , that [she]_{655-his mother} sits and holds it soft in [her]_{655-his mother} arms , and talks to it as if [her]_{655-his mother} whole soul went out to [the little infant]_{1976-the little infant} . But if [she]_{655-his mother} hears a strange footstep on the stair , what [Jemima]_217-jemima calls the ' wild - animal look ' comes back into [her]_{655-his mother} eyes , and [she]_{655-his mother} steals away like some frightened creature . With all that [she]_{655-his mother} has done to redeem [her]_{655-his mother} character , [she]_{655-his mother} should not be so timid of observation . "_{[143-mr benson]} " [You]_6634-you may well say ' with all that [she]_{655-his mother} has done ! ' [We]_6635-we of [[her]_{655-his mother} own household]_{6636-her own household} hear little or nothing of what [she]_{655-his mother} does . If [she]_{655-his mother} wants help , [she]_{655-his mother} simply tells [us]_6635-we how and why ; but if not -- perhaps because it is some relief to [her]_{655-his mother} to forget for a time the scenes of suffering in which [she]_{655-his mother} has been acting the part of comforter , and perhaps because there always was a shy , sweet reticence about [her]_{655-his mother} -- [we]_6635-we never should know what [she]_{655-his mother} is and what [she]_{655-his mother} does , except from [the poor people [themselves]_{6637-the poor people themselves}]_{6637-the poor people themselves} , who would bless [her]_{655-his mother} in words if the very thought of [her]_{655-his mother} did not choke [them]_{6637-the poor people themselves} with tears . Yet , [I]_{143-mr benson} do assure [you]_6638-you , [she]_{655-his mother} passes out of all this gloom , and makes sunlight in [[our]_6635-we house]_{4756-our house} . [We]_6635-we are never so cheerful as when [she]_{655-his mother} is at [home]_4124-home . [She]_{655-his mother} always had the art of diffusing peace , but now it is positive cheerfulness . And about [Leonard]_104-leonard ; [I]_{143-mr benson} doubt if [the wisest and most thoughtful schoolmaster]_{6641-the wisest and most thoughtful schoolmaster} could teach half as much directly , as [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} does unconsciously and indirectly every hour that [he]_104-leonard is with [her]_{655-his mother} . [Her]_{655-his mother} noble , humble , pious endurance of the consequences of what was wrong in [her]_{655-his mother} early life , seems expressly fitted to act upon [him]_104-leonard , whose position is ( unjustly , for [he]_104-leonard has done no harm ) so similar to [hers]_{655-his mother} . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Well ! [I]_{143-mr benson} suppose [we]_6635-we must leave it alone for the present . [You]_6643-you will think [me]_{143-mr benson} [a hard practical man]_{6644-a hard practical man} when [I]_{143-mr benson} own to [you]_6643-you , that all [I]_{143-mr benson} expect from [Leonard]_104-leonard 's remaining a home - bird is that , with [such a mother]_{6645-such a mother} , it will do [him]_104-leonard no harm . At any rate , remember [my]_{143-mr benson} offer is the same for a year -- two years hence , as now . What does [she]_{655-his mother} look forward to making [him]_104-leonard into , finally ? "_{[143-mr benson]} " [I]_{143-mr benson} do n't know . The wonder comes into [my]_{143-mr benson} mind sometimes ; but never into [hers]_{655-his mother} , [I]_{143-mr benson} think . It is part of [her]_{655-his mother} character -- part perhaps of that which made [her]_{655-his mother} what [she]_{655-his mother} was -- that [she]_{655-his mother} never looks forward , and seldom back . The present is enough for [her]_{655-his mother} . "_{[143-mr benson]} And so the conversation ended . When [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} repeated the substance of it to [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , [she]_{4508-his sister} mused awhile , breaking out into an occasional whistle ( although [she]_{4508-his sister} had cured [herself]_{4508-his sister} of this habit in a great measure ) , and at last [she]_{4508-his sister} said : " Now , do [you]_{143-mr benson} know , [I]_{4508-his sister} never liked poor [Dick]_214-dick ; and yet [I]_{4508-his sister} 'm angry with [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} for getting [him]_214-dick out of the partnership in such a summary way . [I]_{4508-his sister} ca n't get over it , even though [he]_{193-mr farquhar} has offered to send [Leonard]_104-leonard to [school]_680-school . And here [he]_214-dick 's [reigning lord - paramount at [the office]_{3651-the office}]_{6647-reigning lord - paramount at the office} ! As if [you]_{143-mr benson} , [Thurstan]_161-thurstan , were n't as well able to teach [him]_214-dick as [any schoolmaster in [England]_21-england]_{6649-any schoolmaster in england} ! But [I]_{4508-his sister} should not mind that affront , if [I]_{4508-his sister} were not sorry to think of [Dick]_214-dick ( though [I]_{4508-his sister} never could abide [him]_214-dick ) labouring away in [Glasgow]_69-glasgow for a petty salary of [nobody]_5038-nobody knows how little , while [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} is taking halves , instead of thirds , of the profits here ! "_{[4508-his sister]} But [[her]_3767-her brother]_{982-her brother} could not tell [her]_3767-her -- and even [Jemima]_217-jemima did not know , till long afterwards -- that the portion of income which would have been [Dick]_214-dick 's as [a junior partner]_{3769-a junior partner} , if [he]_214-dick had remained in the business , was carefully laid aside for [him]_214-dick by [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} ; to be delivered up , with all its accumulated interest , when [the prodigal]_{3770-the prodigal} should have proved [his]_214-dick penitence by [his]_214-dick conduct . When [Ruth]_81-ruth had no call upon [her]_81-ruth time , it was indeed a holiday at [Chapel - house]_{2646-chapel - house} . [She]_3767-her threw off as much as [she]_3767-her could of the care and the sadness in which [she]_3767-her had been sharing ; and returned fresh and helpful , ready to go about in [her]_3767-her soft , quiet way , and fill up every measure of service , and heap it with the fragrance of [her]_3767-her own sweet nature . The delicate mending , that [the elder women]_{3772-the elder women} could no longer see to do , was put by for [Ruth]_81-ruth 's swift and nimble fingers . The occasional copying , or patient writing to dictation , that gave rest to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's weary spine , was done by [her]_3767-her with sunny alacrity . But , most of all , [Leonard]_104-leonard 's heart rejoiced when [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} came [home]_4124-home . Then came the quiet confidences , the tender exchange of love , the happy walks from which [he]_104-leonard returned stronger and stronger -- going from strength to strength as [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother} led the way . It was well , as [they]_3776-they saw now , that the great shock of the disclosure had taken place when it did . [She]_3767-her , for [her]_3767-her part , wondered at [her]_3767-her own cowardliness in having even striven to keep back the truth from [[her]_3767-her child]_{631-her child} -- the truth that was so certain to be made clear , sooner or later , and which it was only owing to [God]_104-leonard 's mercy that [she]_3767-her was alive to encounter with [him]_104-leonard , and , by so encountering , shield and give [him]_104-leonard good courage . Moreover , in [her]_3767-her secret heart , [she]_3767-her was thankful that all occurred while [he]_104-leonard was yet too young to have much curiosity as to [[his]_104-leonard father]_{658-his father} . If an unsatisfied feeling of this kind occasionally stole into [his]_104-leonard mind , at any rate [she]_3767-her never heard any expression of it ; for the past was a sealed book between [them]_3776-they . And so , in the bright strength of good endeavour , the days went on , and grew again to months and years . Perhaps one little circumstance which occurred during this time had scarcely external importance enough to be called an event ; but in [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's mind it took rank as such . One day , about a year after [Richard Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had ceased to be a partner in [[[his]_104-leonard father]_{658-his father} 's house]_{3780-his father 's house} , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} encountered [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} in [the street]_{347-the street} , and heard from [him]_{193-mr farquhar} of the creditable and respectable manner in which [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} was conducting [himself]_{149-mr bradshaw} in [Glasgow]_69-glasgow , where [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} had lately been on business . " [I]_{143-mr benson} am determined to tell [[his]_104-leonard father]_{658-his father} of this , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} ; " [I]_{143-mr benson} think [[his]_104-leonard family]_{2669-his family} are far too obedient to [his]_104-leonard tacit prohibition of all mention of [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's name . "_{[143-mr benson]} " Tacit prohibition ? "_{[143-mr benson]} inquired [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " Oh ! [I]_{143-mr benson} dare say [I]_{143-mr benson} use the words in a wrong sense for the correctness of [a scholar]_{6653-a scholar} ; but what [I]_{143-mr benson} mean is , that [he]_104-leonard made a point of immediately leaving [the room]_{357-the room} if [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's name was mentioned ; and did it in so marked a manner , that by degrees [they]_{2669-his family} understood that it was [[their]_{2669-his family} father]_{2183-their father} 's desire that [he]_104-leonard should never be alluded to ; which was all very well as long as there was nothing pleasant to be said about [him]_104-leonard ; but to - night [I]_{143-mr benson} am going [there]_332-there , and shall take good care [he]_104-leonard does not escape [me]_{143-mr benson} before [I]_{143-mr benson} have told [him]_104-leonard all [I]_{143-mr benson} have heard and observed about [Richard]_{149-mr bradshaw} . [He]_{149-mr bradshaw} will never be [a hero of virtue]_{6657-a hero of virtue} , for [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} education has drained [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} of all moral courage ; but with care , and the absence of all strong temptation for a time , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} will do very well ; nothing to gratify paternal pride , but certainly nothing to be ashamed of . "_{[143-mr benson]} It was on the Sunday after this that the little circumstance to which [I]_0-i have alluded took place . During the afternoon service , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} became aware that the large Bradshaw pew was no longer unoccupied . In a dark corner [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's white head was to be seen , bowed down low in prayer . When last [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had worshipped [there]_332-there , the hair on that head was iron - grey , and even in prayer [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had stood erect , with an air of conscious righteousness sufficient for all [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} wants , and even some to spare with which to judge [others]_368-others . Now , that white and hoary head was never uplifted ; part of [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} unobtrusiveness might , it is true , be attributed to the uncomfortable feeling which was sure to attend any open withdrawal of the declaration [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} had once made , never to enter [the chapel in which [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was [minister]_{3388-minister}]_{3784-the chapel in which mr benson was minister} again ; and as such a feeling was natural to [all men]_{3786-all men} , and especially to such a one as [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} instinctively respected it , and passed out of [the chapel]_{1865-the chapel} with [[his]_{143-mr benson} household]_{5581-his household} , without ever directing [his]_{143-mr benson} regards to [the obscure place where [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} still remained immovable]_{3789-the obscure place where mr bradshaw still remained immovable} . From this day [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} felt sure that the old friendly feeling existed once more between [them]_3790-them , although some time might elapse before any circumstance gave the signal for a renewal of [their]_3790-them intercourse . CHAPTER XXXIII [A Mother]_{1536-a mother} to Be Proud Of [Old people]_{3792-old people} tell of certain years when typhus fever swept over [the country]_{514-the country} like a pestilence ; years that bring back the remembrance of deep sorrow -- refusing to be comforted -- to many [a household]_{3794-a household} ; and which those whose beloved passed through the fiery time unscathed , shrink from recalling : for great and tremulous was the anxiety -- miserable the constant watching for evil symptoms ; and beyond the threshold of [home]_4124-home a dense cloud of depression hung over society at large . It seemed as if the alarm was proportionate to the previous light - heartedness of fancied security -- and indeed it was so ; for , since the days of [King Belshazzar]_{273-king belshazzar} , the solemn decrees of [Doom]_274-doom have ever seemed most terrible when [they]_3796-they awe into silence [the merry revellers of life]_{3797-the merry revellers of life} . So it was this year to which [I]_0-i come in the progress of [my]_0-i story . The summer had been unusually gorgeous . [Some]_365-some had complained of the steaming heat , but [others]_368-others had pointed to the lush vegetation , which was profuse and luxuriant . The early autumn was wet and cold , but [people]_322-people did not regard it , in contemplation of some proud rejoicing of [the nation]_{3801-the nation} , which filled every newspaper and gave food to every tongue . In [Eccleston]_36-eccleston these rejoicings were greater than in most places ; for , by the national triumph of arms , it was supposed that a new market for the staple manufacture of [the place]_{444-the place} would be opened ; and so the trade , which had for a year or two been languishing , would now revive with redoubled vigour . Besides these legitimate causes of good spirits , there was the rank excitement of a coming election , in consequence of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} having accepted a Government office , procured for [him]_{225-mr donne} by [one of [[his]_{225-mr donne} influential relations]_{3804-his influential relations}]_{3803-one of his influential relations} . This time , [the Cranworths]_{226-the cranworths} roused [themselves]_{226-the cranworths} from [their]_{226-the cranworths} magnificent torpor of security in good season , and were going through a series of pompous and ponderous hospitalities , in order to bring back [the Eccleston voters]_{3805-the eccleston voters} to [their]_{3805-the eccleston voters} allegiance . While [the town]_{396-the town} was full of [these subjects]_{3807-these subjects} by turns -- now thinking and speaking of the great revival of trade -- now of the chances of the election , as yet some weeks distant -- now of the balls at [Cranworth Court]_{70-cranworth court} , in which [Mr Cranworth]_{223-mr cranworth} had danced with [all the belles of [the shopocracy of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{3809-the shopocracy of eccleston}]_{3808-all the belles of the shopocracy of eccleston} -- there came creeping , creeping , in hidden , slimy courses , the terrible fever -- that fever which is never utterly banished from the sad haunts of vice and misery , but lives in such darkness , like a wild beast in the recesses of [[his]_{223-mr cranworth} den]_{3810-his den} . It had begun in [the low Irish lodging - houses]_{3811-the low irish lodging - houses} ; but there it was so common it excited little attention . [The poor creatures]_{3812-the poor creatures} died almost without the attendance of [the unwarned medical men]_{3813-the unwarned medical men} , who received [their]_{3813-the unwarned medical men} first notice of the spreading plague from [the Roman Catholic priests]_{3814-the roman catholic priests} . Before [the medical men of]_{3815-the medical men of} [Eccleston]_36-eccleston had had time to meet together and consult , and compare the knowledge of the fever which [they]_{3815-the medical men of} had severally gained , it had , like the blaze of a fire which had long smouldered , burst forth in many places at once -- not merely among [the loose - living and vicious]_{3816-the loose - living and vicious} , but among [the decently poor -- nay]_{3817-the decently poor -- nay} , even among [the well - to - do and respectable]_{3818-the well - to - do and respectable} . And to add to the horror , like all similar pestilences , its course was most rapid at first , and was fatal in the great majority of cases -- hopeless from the beginning . There was a cry , and then a deep silence , and then rose the long wail of [the survivors]_{746-the survivors} . [A portion of [the Infirmary of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{3821-the infirmary of the town}]_{3820-a portion of the infirmary of the town} was added to that already set apart for [a fever - ward]_{3823-a fever - ward} ; [the smitten]_{3824-the smitten} were carried thither at once , whenever it was possible , in order to prevent the spread of infection ; and on [that lazar - house]_{3825-that lazar - house} was concentrated all the medical skill and force of [the place]_{444-the place} . But when [one of [the physicians]_{3828-the physicians}]_{3827-one of the physicians} had died , in consequence of [his]_{3827-one of the physicians} attendance -- when the customary staff of [matrons]_3829-matrons and [nurses]_3830-nurses had been swept off in two days -- and [the nurses belonging to [the Infirmary]_{3832-the infirmary}]_{3831-the nurses belonging to the infirmary} had shrunk from being drafted into [the pestilential fever - ward]_{3833-the pestilential fever - ward} -- when high wages had failed to tempt any to what , in [their]_{3815-the medical men of} panic , [they]_{3815-the medical men of} considered as certain death -- when [the doctors]_{6407-the doctors} stood aghast at the swift mortality among [the untended sufferers , who were dependent only on the care of [the most ignorant hirelings]_{3836-the most ignorant hirelings}]_{3835-the untended sufferers , who were dependent only on the care of the most ignorant hirelings} , too brutal to recognise the solemnity of Death ( all this had happened within a week from the first acknowledgment of the presence of [the plague)--Ruth]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} came one day , with a quieter step than usual , into [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's study]_{1717-mr benson 's study} , and told [him]_{143-mr benson} [she]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} wanted to speak to [him]_{143-mr benson} for a few minutes . " To be sure , [[my]_{143-mr benson} dear]_{4145-my dear} ! Sit down , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [he]_{143-mr benson} ; for [she]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} was standing and leaning [her]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} head against the chimney - piece , idly gazing into the fire . [She]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} went on standing there , as if [she]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} had not heard [his]_{143-mr benson} words ; and it was a few moments before [she]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} began to speak . Then [she]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} said : " [I]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} want to tell [you]_{143-mr benson} , that [I]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} have been this morning and offered [myself]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} as matron to [the fever - ward]_{6659-the fever - ward} while it is so full . [They]_6660-they have accepted [me]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} ; and [I]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} am going this evening . "_{[3837-the plague)--ruth]} " Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [I]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} feared this ; [I]_{3837-the plague)--ruth} saw [your]_81-ruth look this morning as [we]_6661-we spoke of this terrible illness . "_{[3837-the plague)--ruth]} " Why do [you]_81-ruth say ' fear , ' [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ? [You]_81-ruth [yourself]_81-ruth have been with [John Harrison]_129-harry , and [old Betty]_{195-elizabeth} , and many others , [I]_3839-i dare say , of whom [we]_6661-we have not heard . "_[3839-i] " But this is so different ! in such poisoned air ! among such malignant cases ! Have [you]_81-ruth thought and weighed it enough , [Ruth]_81-ruth ? "_[3839-i] [She]_3839-i was quite still for a moment , but [her]_3839-i eyes grew full of tears . At last [she]_3839-i said , very softly , with a kind of still solemnity : " Yes ! [I]_3839-i have thought , and [I]_3839-i have weighed . But through the very midst of all [my]_3839-i fears and thoughts [I]_3839-i have felt that [I]_3839-i must go . "_[3839-i] The remembrance of [Leonard]_104-leonard was present in both [their]_3840-their minds ; but for a few moments longer [they]_3840-their neither of [them]_3840-their spoke . Then [Ruth]_81-ruth said : " [I]_3839-i believe [I]_3839-i have no fear . That is a great preservative , [they]_6662-they say . At any rate , if [I]_3839-i have a little natural shrinking , it is quite gone when [I]_3839-i remember that [I]_3839-i am in [God]_104-leonard 's hands ! Oh , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , "_[3839-i] continued [she]_3839-i , breaking out into the irrepressible tears--"Leonard , [Leonard]_104-leonard ! "_[3839-i] And now it was [his]_104-leonard turn to speak out the brave words of faith . " Poor , [poor mother]_{4386-poor mother} ! "_{[104-leonard]} said [he]_104-leonard . " Be of good heart . [He]_104-leonard , too , is in [God]_104-leonard 's hands . Think what a flash of time only will separate [you]_{4386-poor mother} from [him]_104-leonard , if [you]_{4386-poor mother} should die in this work ! "_{[104-leonard]} " But [he]_104-leonard -- but [he]_104-leonard -- it will be long to [him]_104-leonard , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! [He]_104-leonard will be alone ! "_[3839-i] " No , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [he]_104-leonard will not . [God]_104-leonard and [all good men]_{6664-all good men} will watch over [him]_104-leonard . But if [you]_81-ruth can not still this agony of fear as to what will become of [him]_104-leonard , [you]_81-ruth ought not to go . Such tremulous passion will predispose [you]_81-ruth to take the fever . "_[3842-they] " [I]_3841-her will not be afraid , "_[3841-her] [she]_3841-her replied , lifting up [her]_3841-her face , over which a bright light shone , as of [God]_104-leonard 's radiance . " [I]_3841-her am not afraid for [myself]_3841-her . [I]_3841-her will not be so for [[my]_3841-her darling]_{4347-my darling} . "_[3841-her] After a little pause , [they]_3842-they began to arrange the manner of [her]_3841-her going , and to speak of the length of time that [she]_3841-her might be absent on [her]_3841-her temporary duties . In talking of [her]_3841-her return , [they]_3842-they assumed it to be certain , although the exact time when was to [them]_3842-they unknown , and would be dependent entirely on the duration of the fever ; but not the less , in [their]_3842-they secret hearts , did [they]_3842-they feel where alone the issue lay . [Ruth]_81-ruth was to communicate with [Leonard]_104-leonard and [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} through [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} alone , who insisted on [his]_{143-mr benson} determination to go every evening to [the Hospital]_{3843-the hospital} to learn the proceedings of the day , and the state of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's health . " It is not alone on [your]_{4347-my darling} account , [[my]_851-all dear]_{4145-my dear} ! There may be [many sick people of whom]_{6667-many sick people of whom} , if [I]_851-all can give no other comfort , [I]_851-all can take intelligence to [[their]_{6667-many sick people of whom} friends]_{306-their friends} . "_[851-all] [All]_851-all was settled with grave composure ; yet still [Ruth]_81-ruth lingered , as if nerving [herself]_81-ruth up for some effort . At length [she]_81-ruth said , with a faint smile upon [her]_81-ruth pale face : " [I]_81-ruth believe [I]_81-ruth am [a great coward]_{6669-a great coward} . [I]_81-ruth stand here talking because [I]_81-ruth dread to tell [Leonard]_104-leonard . "_[81-ruth] " [You]_81-ruth must not think of it , "_[3845-you] exclaimed [he]_3845-you . " Leave it to [me]_81-ruth . It is sure to unnerve [you]_81-ruth . "_[81-ruth] " [I]_81-ruth must think of it . [I]_81-ruth shall have self - control enough in a minute to do it calmly -- to speak hopefully . For only think , "_[81-ruth] continued [she]_81-ruth , smiling through the tears that would gather in [her]_81-ruth eyes , " what a comfort the remembrance of the last few words may be to [the poor fellow]_{6670-the poor fellow} , if-- "_[81-ruth] The words were choked , but [she]_81-ruth smiled bravely on . " No ! "_[81-ruth] said [she]_81-ruth , " that must be done ; but perhaps [you]_3845-you will spare [me]_81-ruth one thing -- will [you]_3845-you tell [Aunt Faith]_{252-aunt faith} ? [I]_81-ruth suppose [I]_81-ruth am very weak , but , knowing that [I]_81-ruth must go , and not knowing what may be the end , [I]_81-ruth feel as if [I]_81-ruth could not bear to resist [her]_{252-aunt faith} entreaties just at last . Will [you]_3845-you tell [her]_{252-aunt faith} , [sir]_4181-sir , while [I]_81-ruth go to [Leonard]_104-leonard ? "_[81-ruth] Silently [he]_3846-he consented , and [the two]_{1675-the two} rose up and came forth , calm and serene . And calmly and gently did [Ruth]_81-ruth tell [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} of [her]_81-ruth purpose ; not daring even to use any unaccustomed tenderness of voice or gesture , lest , by so doing , [she]_81-ruth should alarm [him]_3846-he unnecessarily as to the result . [She]_81-ruth spoke hopefully , and bade [him]_3846-he be of good courage ; and [he]_3846-he caught [her]_81-ruth bravery , though [[his]_3846-he , [poor boy]_{3850-poor boy}]_{3849-his , poor boy} , had root rather in [his]_3846-he ignorance of the actual imminent danger than in [her]_81-ruth deep faith . When [he]_3846-he had gone down , [Ruth]_81-ruth began to arrange [her]_81-ruth dress . When [she]_81-ruth came [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} [she]_81-ruth went into [the old familiar garden]_{3852-the old familiar garden} and gathered a nosegay of the last lingering autumn flowers -- a few roses and the like . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had tutored [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} well ; and although [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} 's face was swollen with crying , [she]_{164-miss faith} spoke with almost exaggerated cheerfulness to [Ruth]_81-ruth . Indeed , as [they]_3854-they all stood at the front door , making - believe to have careless nothings to say , just as at an ordinary leave - taking , [you]_3855-you would not have guessed the strained chords of feeling there were in each heart . [They]_3854-they lingered on , the last rays of the setting sun falling on [the group]_{3856-the group} . [Ruth]_81-ruth once or twice had roused [herself]_81-ruth to the pitch of saying " Good - bye , "_[81-ruth] but when [her]_81-ruth eye fell on [Leonard]_104-leonard [she]_81-ruth was forced to hide the quivering of [her]_81-ruth lips , and conceal [her]_81-ruth trembling mouth amid the bunch of roses . " [They]_3854-they wo n't let [you]_81-ruth have [your]_81-ruth flowers , [I]_{143-mr benson} 'm afraid , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} . " [Doctors]_6672-doctors so often object to the smell . "_{[143-mr benson]} " No ; perhaps not , "_[81-ruth] said [Ruth]_81-ruth , hurriedly . " [I]_81-ruth did not think of it . [I]_81-ruth will only keep this one rose . Here , [Leonard]_104-leonard , [darling]_4344-darling ! "_[81-ruth] [She]_81-ruth gave the rest to [him]_104-leonard . It was [her]_81-ruth farewell ; for having now no veil to hide [her]_81-ruth emotion , [she]_81-ruth summoned all [her]_81-ruth bravery for one parting smile , and , smiling , turned away . But [she]_81-ruth gave one look back from [the street]_{347-the street} , just from the last point at which the door could be seen , and catching a glimpse of [Leonard]_104-leonard standing foremost on the step , [she]_81-ruth ran back , and [he]_104-leonard met [her]_81-ruth half - way , and [mother]_4127-mother and [child]_895-child spoke never a word in that close embrace . " Now , [Leonard]_104-leonard , "_{[164-miss faith]} said [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} , " be [a brave boy]_{6674-a brave boy} . [I]_{164-miss faith} feel sure [she]_81-ruth will come back to [us]_6675-us before very long . "_{[164-miss faith]} But [she]_81-ruth was very near crying [herself]_81-ruth ; and [she]_81-ruth would have given way , [I]_0-i believe , if [she]_81-ruth had not found the wholesome outlet of scolding [Sally]_148-sally , for expressing just the same opinion respecting [Ruth]_81-ruth 's proceedings as [she]_81-ruth [herself]_81-ruth had done not two hours before . Taking what [[her]_81-ruth brother]_{982-her brother} had said to [her]_81-ruth as a text , [she]_81-ruth delivered such a lecture to [Sally]_148-sally on want of faith that [she]_81-ruth was astonished at [herself]_81-ruth , and so much affected by what [she]_81-ruth had said that [she]_81-ruth had to shut the door of communication between [the kitchen]_{862-the kitchen} and [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} pretty hastily , in order to prevent [Sally]_148-sally 's threatened reply from weakening [her]_81-ruth belief in the righteousness of what [Ruth]_81-ruth had done . [Her]_81-ruth words had gone beyond [her]_81-ruth conviction . Evening after evening [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} went forth to gain news of [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and night after night [he]_{143-mr benson} returned with good tidings . The fever , it is true , raged ; but no plague came nigh [her]_81-ruth . [He]_{143-mr benson} said [her]_81-ruth face was ever calm and bright , except when clouded by sorrow as [she]_81-ruth gave the accounts of the deaths which occurred in spite of every care . [He]_{143-mr benson} said [he]_{143-mr benson} had never seen [her]_81-ruth face so fair and gentle as it was now , when [she]_81-ruth was living in the midst of disease and woe . One evening [Leonard]_104-leonard ( for [they]_3863-they had grown bolder as to the infection ) accompanied [him]_{143-mr benson} to [the street on which [the hospital]_{3843-the hospital} abutted]_{3864-the street on which the hospital abutted} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} left [him]_{143-mr benson} [there]_332-there , and told [him]_{143-mr benson} to return [home]_4124-home ; but [the boy]_{4189-the boy} lingered , attracted by [the crowd that had gathered]_{3869-the crowd that had gathered} , and were gazing up intently towards the lighted windows of [the hospital]_{3843-the hospital} . There was nothing beyond to be seen ; but [the greater part of [these poor people]_{3872-these poor people}]_{3871-the greater part of these poor people} had [friends]_678-friends or relations in [that palace of Death]_{3874-that palace of death} . [Leonard]_104-leonard stood and listened . At first [their]_3863-they talk consisted of vague and exaggerated accounts ( if such could be exaggerated ) of the horrors of the fever . Then [they]_3863-they spoke of [Ruth]_81-ruth -- of [[his]_{143-mr benson} mother]_{655-his mother} ; and [Leonard]_104-leonard held [his]_104-leonard breath to hear . " [They]_3863-they say [she]_81-ruth has been [a great sinner]_{6676-a great sinner} , and that this is [her]_81-ruth penance , "_[321-one] quoth [one]_321-one . And as [Leonard]_104-leonard gasped , before rushing forward to give [the speaker straight the lie]_{3877-the speaker straight the lie} , [an old man]_{2602-an old man} spoke : " [Such a one as [her]_81-ruth]_{6677-such a one as her} has never been [a great sinner]_{6676-a great sinner} ; nor does [she]_81-ruth do [her]_81-ruth work as a penance , but for the love of [God]_104-leonard , and of [the blessed Jesus]_{6679-the blessed jesus} . [She]_81-ruth will be in the light of [God]_104-leonard 's countenance when [you]_104-leonard and [I]_{879-the old man} will be standing afar off . [I]_{879-the old man} tell [you]_104-leonard , [man]_661-man , when [[my]_{879-the old man} poor wench]_{6681-my poor wench} died , as [no one]_{517-no one} would come near , [her]_81-ruth head lay at that hour on [this woman]_{5627-this woman} 's sweet breast . [I]_{879-the old man} could fell [you]_104-leonard , "_{[879-the old man]} [the old man]_{879-the old man} went on , lifting [his]_{879-the old man} shaking arm , " for calling [that woman]_{6138-that woman} [a great sinner]_{6676-a great sinner} . The blessing of [them]_6686-them [who were ready to perish]_{6687-who were ready to perish} is upon [her]_{6138-that woman} . "_{[879-the old man]} Immediately there arose a clamour of tongues , each with some tale of [[his]_{879-the old man} mother]_{655-his mother} 's gentle doings , till [Leonard]_104-leonard grew dizzy with the beatings of [his]_104-leonard glad , proud heart . [Few]_2104-few were aware how much [Ruth]_81-ruth had done ; [she]_81-ruth never spoke of it , shrinking with sweet shyness from over - much allusion to [her]_81-ruth own work at all times . [Her]_81-ruth left hand truly knew not what [her]_81-ruth right hand did ; and [Leonard]_104-leonard was overwhelmed now to hear of the love and the reverence with which [the poor and outcast]_{3882-the poor and outcast} had surrounded [her]_81-ruth . It was irrepressible . [He]_104-leonard stepped forward with a proud bearing , and touching [the old man]_{879-the old man} 's arm who had first spoken , [Leonard]_104-leonard tried to speak ; but for an instant [he]_104-leonard could not , [his]_104-leonard heart was too full : tears came before words , but at length [he]_104-leonard managed to say : " [Sir]_4181-sir , [I]_{4636-an old woman} am [[her]_81-ruth son]_{990-her son} ! "_{[4636-an old woman]} " [Thou]_6690-thou ! [thou]_6690-thou [her]_81-ruth bairn ! God bless [you]_{4636-an old woman} , [lad]_5213-lad , "_{[4636-an old woman]} said [an old woman]_{4636-an old woman} , pushing through [the crowd]_{3885-the crowd} . " It was but last night [she]_81-ruth kept [[my]_{4636-an old woman} child]_{5259-my child} quiet with singing psalms the night through . Low and sweet , low and sweet , [they]_{3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures} tell [me]_{4636-an old woman} -- till [many poor things]_{6693-many poor things} were hushed , though [they]_{3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures} were out of [their]_{3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures} minds , and had not heard psalms this many a year . God in heaven bless [you]_{4636-an old woman} , [lad]_5213-lad ! "_{[4636-an old woman]} [Many other wild , woe - begone creatures]_{3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures} pressed forward with blessings on [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's son]_{3887-ruth 's son} , while [he]_{3887-ruth 's son} could only repeat : " [She]_81-ruth is [[my]_{3887-ruth 's son} mother]_{4247-my mother} . "_{[3887-ruth 's son]} From that day forward [Leonard]_104-leonard walked erect in [the streets of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{3888-the streets of eccleston} , where " [many]_652-many arose and called [her]_81-ruth blessed . "_{[104-leonard]} After some weeks the virulence of the fever abated ; and the general panic subsided -- indeed , a kind of fool - hardiness succeeded . To be sure , in some instances the panic still held possession of [individuals]_{3889-individuals} to an exaggerated extent . But the number of [patients in [the hospital]_{3843-the hospital}]_{3890-patients in the hospital} was rapidly diminishing , and , for money , [those]_3892-those were to be found who could supply [[Ruth]_81-ruth 's place]_{385-ruth 's place} . But to [her]_81-ruth it was owing that the overwrought fear of [the town]_{396-the town} was subdued ; it was [she]_81-ruth who had gone voluntarily , and , with no thought of greed or gain , right into the very jaws of the fierce disease . [She]_81-ruth bade [the inmates of [the hospital]_{3843-the hospital}]_{3895-the inmates of the hospital} farewell , and after carefully submitting [herself]_81-ruth to the purification recommended by [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} , [the principal surgeon of [the place]_{444-the place}]_{3897-the principal surgeon of the place} , who had always attended [Leonard]_104-leonard , [she]_81-ruth returned to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's just at gloaming time . [They]_3899-they each vied with [the other]_{380-the other} in the tenderest cares . [They]_3899-they hastened tea ; [they]_3899-they wheeled the sofa to the fire ; [they]_3899-they made [her]_81-ruth lie down ; and to all [she]_81-ruth submitted with the docility of [a child]_{556-a child} ; and when the candles came , even [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's anxious eye could see no change in [her]_81-ruth looks , but that [she]_81-ruth seemed a little paler . The eyes were as full of spiritual light , the gently parted lips as rosy , and the smile , if more rare , yet as sweet as ever . CHAPTER XXXIV " [I]_{143-mr benson} Must Go and [Nurse Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} "_{[143-mr benson]} The next morning , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} would insist upon making [Ruth]_81-ruth lie down on the sofa . [Ruth]_81-ruth longed to do many things ; to be much more active ; but [she]_81-ruth submitted , when [she]_81-ruth found that it would gratify [Miss Faith]_{164-miss faith} if [she]_81-ruth remained as quiet as if [she]_81-ruth were really [an invalid]_{3902-an invalid} . [Leonard]_104-leonard sat by [her]_81-ruth holding [her]_81-ruth hand . Every now and then [he]_104-leonard looked up from [his]_104-leonard book , as if to make sure that [she]_81-ruth indeed was restored to [him]_104-leonard . [He]_104-leonard had brought [her]_81-ruth down the flowers which [she]_81-ruth had given [him]_104-leonard the day of [her]_81-ruth departure , and which [he]_104-leonard had kept in water as long as they had any greenness or fragrance , and then had carefully dried and put by . [She]_81-ruth too , smiling , had produced the one rose which [she]_81-ruth had carried away to [the hospital]_{3843-the hospital} . Never had the bond between [her]_81-ruth and [[her]_81-ruth boy]_{2051-her boy} been drawn so firm and strong . [Many visitors]_{3905-many visitors} came this day to [the quiet Chapel - house]_{3906-the quiet chapel - house} . First of all [Mrs Farquhar]_{266-mrs farquhar} appeared . [She]_{266-mrs farquhar} looked very different from [the Jemima Bradshaw]_217-jemima of three years ago . [Happiness]_{276-happiness} had called out beauty ; the colouring of [her]_{266-mrs farquhar} face was lovely , and vivid as that of an autumn day ; [her]_{266-mrs farquhar} berry - red lips scarce closed over the short white teeth for [her]_{266-mrs farquhar} smiles ; and [her]_{266-mrs farquhar} large dark eyes glowed and sparkled with daily happiness . They were softened by a mist of tears as [she]_{266-mrs farquhar} looked upon [Ruth]_81-ruth . " Lie still ! Do n't move ! [You]_81-ruth must be content to - day to be waited upon , and nursed ! [I]_104-leonard have just seen [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} in [the lobby]_{6697-the lobby} , and had charge upon charge not to fatigue [you]_81-ruth . Oh , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! how [we]_6698-we all love [you]_81-ruth , now [we]_6698-we have [you]_81-ruth back again ! Do [you]_81-ruth know , [I]_104-leonard taught [Rosa]_277-rosa to say [her]_277-rosa prayers as soon as ever [you]_81-ruth were gone to [that horrid place]_{6699-that horrid place} , just on purpose that [her]_277-rosa little innocent lips might pray for [you]_81-ruth -- [I]_104-leonard wish [you]_81-ruth could hear [her]_277-rosa say it--'Please , dear [God]_104-leonard , keep [Ruth]_81-ruth safe . ' Oh , [Leonard]_104-leonard ! are not [you]_104-leonard proud of [[your]_104-leonard mother]_{4264-your mother} ? "_{[104-leonard]} [Leonard]_104-leonard said " Yes , "_{[104-leonard]} rather shortly , as if [he]_104-leonard were annoyed that [any one else]_{4234-any one else} should know , or even have a right to imagine , how proud [he]_104-leonard was . [Jemima]_217-jemima went on : " Now , [Ruth]_81-ruth ! [I]_217-jemima have got a plan for [you]_81-ruth . [Walter]_212-walter and [I]_217-jemima have partly made it ; and partly it 's [papa]_4310-papa 's doing . Yes , [dear]_4155-dear ! [papa]_4310-papa has been quite anxious to show [his]_4310-papa respect for [you]_81-ruth . [We]_6704-we all want [you]_81-ruth to go to [the dear Eagle 's Crag]_{6705-the dear eagle 's crag} for this next month , and get strong , and have some change in that fine air at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth . [I]_217-jemima am going to take little [Rosa]_277-rosa [there]_332-there . [Papa]_209-papa has lent it to [us]_6704-we . And the weather is often very beautiful in November . "_[217-jemima] " Thank [you]_217-jemima very much . It is very tempting ; for [I]_217-jemima have been almost longing for some such change . [I]_217-jemima can not tell all at once whether [I]_217-jemima can go ; but [I]_217-jemima will see about it , if [you]_217-jemima will let [me]_217-jemima leave it open a little . "_[217-jemima] " Oh ! as long as [you]_217-jemima like , so that [you]_217-jemima will but go at last . And , [Master Leonard]_278-leonard ! [you]_217-jemima are to come too . Now , [I]_81-ruth know [I]_81-ruth have [you]_217-jemima on [my]_81-ruth side . "_[81-ruth] [Ruth]_81-ruth thought of [the place]_{444-the place} . [Her]_81-ruth only reluctance arose from the remembrance of that one interview on [the sands]_{2867-the sands} . That walk [she]_81-ruth could never go again ; but how much remained ! How much that would be a charming balm and refreshment to [her]_81-ruth ! " What happy evenings [we]_6707-we shall have together ! Do [you]_217-jemima know , [I]_81-ruth think [Mary]_263-mary and [Elizabeth]_{195-elizabeth} may perhaps come . "_[81-ruth] A bright gleam of sunshine came into [the room]_{357-the room} . " Look ! how bright and propitious for [our]_6707-we plans . [Dear Ruth]_81-ruth , it seems like an omen for the future ! "_[81-ruth] Almost while [she]_81-ruth spoke , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} entered , bringing with [her]_81-ruth [Mr Grey]_{280-mr grey} , [the rector of [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{3911-the rector of eccleston} . [He]_{280-mr grey} was [an elderly man]_{3912-an elderly man} , short and stoutly - built , with something very formal in [his]_{280-mr grey} manner ; but [any one]_{425-any one} might feel sure of [his]_{280-mr grey} steady benevolence who noticed the expression of [his]_{280-mr grey} face , and especially of the kindly black eyes that gleamed beneath [his]_{280-mr grey} grey and shaggy eyebrows . [Ruth]_81-ruth had seen [him]_{280-mr grey} at [the hospital]_{3843-the hospital} once or twice , and [Mrs Farquhar]_{266-mrs farquhar} had met [him]_{280-mr grey} pretty frequently in general society . " Go and tell [[your]_278-leonard uncle]_{6708-your uncle} , "_{[143-mr benson]} said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} to [Leonard]_278-leonard . " Stop , [[my]_{143-mr benson} boy]_{3052-my boy} ! [I]_{143-mr benson} have just met [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} in [the street]_{347-the street} , and [my]_{143-mr benson} errand now is to [[your]_278-leonard mother]_{4264-your mother} . [I]_{143-mr benson} should like [you]_278-leonard to remain and hear what it is ; and [I]_{143-mr benson} am sure that [my]_{143-mr benson} business will give [these ladies"--bowing]_{6712-these ladies"--bowing[143-mr benson]} to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Jemima--"so]_{281-jemima--"so} much pleasure , that [I]_278-leonard need not apologise for entering upon it in [their]_{6712-these ladies"--bowing} presence . "_{[278-leonard]} [He]_278-leonard pulled out [his]_278-leonard double eye - glass , saying , with a grave smile : " [You]_{4264-your mother} ran away from [us]_6713-us yesterday so quietly and cunningly , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , that [you]_{4264-your mother} were , perhaps , not aware that [the Board]_{6714-the board} was sitting at that very time , and trying to form a vote sufficiently expressive of [our]_6713-us gratitude to [you]_{4264-your mother} . As [Chairman]_{6715-chairman} , [they]_{6712-these ladies"--bowing} requested [me]_278-leonard to present [you]_{4264-your mother} with this letter , which [I]_278-leonard shall have the pleasure of reading . "_{[278-leonard]} With all due emphasis [he]_278-leonard read aloud a formal letter from [the Secretary]_{3915-the secretary} to [the Infirmary]_{3832-the infirmary} , conveying a vote of thanks to [Ruth]_81-ruth . [The good rector]_{3917-the good rector} did not spare [her]_81-ruth one word , from date to signature ; and then , folding the letter up , [he]_278-leonard gave it to [Leonard]_278-leonard , saying : " There , [sir]_4181-sir ! when [you]_4181-sir are [an old man]_{2602-an old man} , [you]_4181-sir may read that testimony to [[your]_4181-sir mother]_{4264-your mother} 's noble conduct with pride and pleasure . For , indeed , "_{[278-leonard]} continued [he]_278-leonard , turning to [Jemima]_217-jemima , " no words can express the relief it was to [us]_6719-us . [I]_278-leonard speak of [the gentlemen composing [the Board of [the Infirmary]_{3832-the infirmary}]_{6721-the board of the infirmary}]_{6720-the gentlemen composing the board of the infirmary} . When [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} came forward , the panic was at its height , and the alarm of course aggravated the disorder . [The poor creatures]_{3812-the poor creatures} died rapidly ; there was hardly time to remove the dead bodies before [others]_368-others were brought in to occupy the beds , so little help was to be procured on account of the universal terror ; and the morning when [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} offered [us]_6719-us [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} services , [we]_6719-us seemed at the very worst . [I]_278-leonard shall never forget the sensation of relief in [my]_278-leonard mind when [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} told [us]_6719-us what [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} proposed to do ; but [we]_6719-us thought it right to warn [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} to the full extent-- "_{[278-leonard]} Nay , [madam]_4543-madam , " said [he]_0-i , catching a glimpse of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's changing colour , "_[4543-madam] [I]_0-i will spare [you]_4543-madam any more praises . [I]_0-i will only say , if [I]_0-i can be [a friend to [you]_4543-madam]_{3919-a friend to you} , or [a friend to [[your]_4543-madam child]_{4796-your child}]_{3920-a friend to your child} , [you]_4543-madam may command [my]_0-i poor powers to the utmost . " [He]_0-i got up , and bowing formally , [he]_0-i took [his]_0-i leave . [Jemima]_217-jemima came and kissed [Ruth]_81-ruth . [Leonard]_278-leonard went [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} to put the precious letter away . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} sat crying heartily in a corner of [the room]_{357-the room} . [Ruth]_81-ruth went to [her]_3922-her and threw [her]_81-ruth arms round [her]_3922-her neck , and said : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could not tell [him]_3922-her just then . [I]_0-i durst not speak for fear of breaking down ; but if [I]_0-i have done right , it was all owing to [you]_4543-madam and [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . Oh ! [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i had said how the thought first came into [my]_0-i head from seeing the things [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} has done so quietly ever since the fever first came amongst [us]_3923-us . [I]_0-i could not speak ; and it seemed as if [I]_0-i was taking those praises to [myself]_0-i , when all the time [I]_0-i was feeling how little [I]_0-i deserved them -- how it was all owing to [you]_4543-madam . " "_[4543-madam] Under [God]_104-leonard , [Ruth]_81-ruth , " said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , speaking through [her]_81-ruth tears . "_[81-ruth] Oh ! [I]_0-i think there is nothing humbles one so much as undue praise . While [he]_{143-mr benson} was reading that letter , [I]_0-i could not help feeling how many things [I]_0-i have done wrong ! Could [he]_{143-mr benson} know of -- of what [I]_0-i have been ? " asked [she]_81-ruth , dropping [her]_81-ruth voice very low . "_{[143-mr benson]} Yes ! " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , "_{[143-mr benson]} [he]_{143-mr benson} knew -- [everybody in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{3924-everybody in eccleston} did know -- but the remembrance of those days is swept away . [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , " [she]_81-ruth continued , for [she]_81-ruth was anxious to turn the subject , "_{[143-mr benson]} [you]_{143-mr benson} must be on [my]_0-i side , and persuade [Ruth]_81-ruth to come to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth for a few weeks . [I]_0-i want [her]_81-ruth and [Leonard]_104-leonard both to come . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i 'm afraid [[my]_0-i brother]_{4794-my brother} will think that [Leonard]_104-leonard is missing [his]_104-leonard lessons sadly . Just of late [we]_3926-we could not wonder that [the poor child]_{997-the poor child} 's heart was so full ; but [he]_104-leonard must make haste , and get on all the more for [his]_104-leonard idleness . " [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} piqued [herself]_{143-mr benson} on being [a disciplinarian]_{6727-a disciplinarian} . "_[212-walter] Oh , as for lessons , [Walter]_212-walter is so very anxious that [you]_{143-mr benson} should give way to [his]_212-walter superior wisdom , [Ruth]_81-ruth , and let [Leonard]_104-leonard go to [school]_680-school . [He]_212-walter will send [him]_104-leonard to [any school [you]_{143-mr benson} fix upon]_{3929-any school you fix upon} , according to the mode of life [you]_{143-mr benson} plan for [him]_104-leonard . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have no plan , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have no means of planning . All [I]_0-i can do is to try and make [him]_104-leonard ready for anything . " "_[0-i] Well , " said [Jemima]_217-jemima , "_[0-i] [we]_3930-we must talk it over at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth ; for [I]_0-i am sure [you]_{143-mr benson} wo n't refuse to come , dearest , dear [Ruth]_81-ruth ! Think of the quiet , sunny days , and the still evenings , that [we]_3930-we shall have together , with little [Rosa]_277-rosa to tumble about among the fallen leaves ; and there 's [Leonard]_104-leonard to have [his]_104-leonard first sight of [the sea]_{549-the sea} . " "_{[104-leonard]} [I]_0-i do think of it , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , smiling at the happy picture [Jemima]_217-jemima drew . And both smiling at the hopeful prospect before [them]_3930-we , [they]_3930-we parted -- never to meet again in life . No sooner had [Mrs Farquhar]_{266-mrs farquhar} gone than [Sally]_148-sally burst in . "_[0-i] Oh ! dear , [dear]_4155-dear ! " said [she]_148-sally , looking around [her]_148-sally . "_[0-i] If [I]_0-i had but known that [the rector]_{3933-the rector} was coming to call , [I]_0-i 'd [ha]_3934-ha ' put on the best covers , and the Sunday tablecloth ! [You]_4155-dear 're well enough , " continued [she]_148-sally , surveying [Ruth]_81-ruth from head to foot ; "_[4155-dear] [you]_4155-dear 're always trim and dainty in [your]_4155-dear gowns , though [I]_0-i reckon they cost but tuppence a yard , and [you]_4155-dear 've a face to set ['em]_3935-'em off ; but as for [you]_4155-dear " ( as [she]_148-sally turned to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ) , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [you]_4155-dear might ha ' had something better on than that old stuff , if it had only been to do credit to [a parishioner like [me]_0-i]_{3936-a parishioner like me} , whom [he]_{3933-the rector} has known ever sin ' [[my]_0-i father]_{4925-my father} was [[his]_{3933-the rector} clerk]_{3938-his clerk} . " "_[4155-dear] [You]_4155-dear forget , [Sally]_148-sally , [I]_0-i have been making jelly all the morning . How could [I]_0-i tell it was [Mr Grey]_{280-mr grey} when there was a knock at the door ? " [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} replied . "_{[280-mr grey]} [You]_4155-dear might ha ' letten [me]_0-i do the jelly ; [I'se]_0-i warrant [I]_0-i could ha ' pleased [Ruth]_81-ruth as well as [you]_4155-dear . If [I]_0-i had but known [he]_{280-mr grey} was coming , [I]_0-i 'd ha ' slipped round the corner and bought [ye]_4155-dear a neck - ribbon , or summut to lighten [ye]_4155-dear up . [I'se]_0-i loath [he]_{280-mr grey} should think [I]_0-i 'm living with [Dissenters]_{5003-dissenters} , that do n't know how to keep [themselves]_{5003-dissenters} trig and smart . " "_{[280-mr grey]} Never mind , [Sally]_148-sally ; [he]_{280-mr grey} never thought of [me]_0-i . What [he]_{280-mr grey} came for , was to see [Ruth]_81-ruth ; and , as [you]_4155-dear say , [she]_81-ruth 's always neat and dainty . " "_[81-ruth] Well ! [I]_0-i reckon it can not be helped now ; but if [I]_0-i buy [ye]_4155-dear a ribbon , will [you]_4155-dear promise to wear it when [church - folks]_{3940-church - folks} come ? for [I]_0-i can not abide the way [they]_{3940-church - folks} have of scoffing at [the Dissenters]_{1871-the dissenters} about [their]_{3940-church - folks} dress . " "_{[3940-church - folks]} Very well ! [we]_3942-we 'll make that bargain , " said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; "_[3942-we] and now , [Ruth]_81-ruth , [I]_0-i 'll go and fetch [you]_81-ruth a cup of warm jelly . " "_[0-i] Oh ! indeed , [Aunt Faith]_{252-aunt faith} , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , "_{[252-aunt faith]} [I]_0-i am very sorry to balk [you]_{252-aunt faith} ; but if [you]_{252-aunt faith} 're going to treat [me]_0-i as [an invalid]_{3902-an invalid} , [I]_0-i am afraid [I]_0-i shall rebel . " But when [she]_81-ruth found that [Aunt Faith]_{252-aunt faith} 's heart was set upon it , [she]_81-ruth submitted very graciously , only dimpling up a little , as [she]_81-ruth found that [she]_81-ruth must consent to lie on the sofa , and be fed , when , in truth , [she]_81-ruth felt full of health , with a luxurious sensation of languor stealing over [her]_81-ruth now and then , just enough to make it very pleasant to think of the salt breezes , and the sea beauty which awaited [her]_81-ruth at [Abermouth]_50-abermouth . [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} called in the afternoon , and [his]_{275-mr davis} visit was also to [Ruth]_81-ruth . [Mr]_6728-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} were sitting with [her]_81-ruth in [the parlour]_{712-the parlour} , and watching [her]_81-ruth with contented love , as [she]_81-ruth employed [herself]_81-ruth in household sewing , and hopefully spoke about the Abermouth plan . "_[0-i] Well ! so [you]_3944-you had [[our]_3945-our worthy rector]_{3946-our worthy rector} here to - day ; [I]_0-i am come on something of the same kind of errand ; only [I]_0-i shall spare [you]_3944-you the reading of [my]_0-i letter , which , [I]_0-i 'll answer for it , [he]_{3946-our worthy rector} did not . Please to take notice , " said [he]_0-i , putting down a sealed letter , "_{[3946-our worthy rector]} that [I]_0-i have delivered [you]_3944-you a vote of thanks from [[my]_0-i medical brothers]_{3947-my medical brothers} ; and open and read it at [your]_3944-you leisure ; only not just now , for [I]_0-i want to have a little talk with [you]_3944-you on [my]_0-i own behoof . [I]_0-i want to ask [you]_3944-you a favour , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . " "_[0-i] A favour ! " exclaimed [Ruth]_81-ruth ; "_[0-i] what can [I]_0-i do for [you]_0-i ? [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i may say [I]_0-i will do it , without hearing what it is . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_3944-you 're [a very imprudent woman]_{3948-a very imprudent woman} , " replied [he]_0-i ; "_[3944-you] however , [I]_0-i 'll take [you]_3944-you at [your]_3944-you word . [I]_0-i want [you]_3944-you to give [me]_0-i [[your]_3944-you boy]_{2992-your boy} . " "_{[104-leonard]} [Leonard]_104-leonard ! " "_{[104-leonard]} Aye ! there it is , [you]_3944-you see , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . One minute [she]_3950-she is as ready as can be , and the next , [she]_3950-she looks at [me]_0-i as if [I]_0-i was [an ogre]_{3951-an ogre} ! " "_[3950-she] Perhaps [we]_3952-we do n't understand what [you]_3944-you mean , " said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . "_[3944-you] The thing is this . [You]_3944-you know [I]_0-i 've [no children]_{3066-no children} ; and [I]_0-i ca n't say [I]_0-i 've ever fretted over it much ; but [[my]_0-i wife]_{6584-my wife} has ; and whether it is that [she]_{6584-my wife} has infected [me]_0-i , or that [I]_0-i grieve over [my]_0-i good practice going to [a stranger]_{2130-a stranger} , when [I]_0-i ought to have had [a son]_{3956-a son} to take it after [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i do n't know ; but , of late , [I]_0-i 've got to look with covetous eyes on [all healthy boys]_{3957-all healthy boys} , and at last [I]_0-i 've settled down [my]_0-i wishes on [this Leonard of [yours]_3959-yours]_{3958-this leonard of yours} , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . " [Ruth]_81-ruth could not speak ; for , even yet , [she]_81-ruth did not understand what [he]_0-i meant . [He]_0-i went on : "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Now , how old is [the lad]_{4193-the lad} ? " [He]_0-i asked [Ruth]_81-ruth , but [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} replied : "_{[4193-the lad]} [He]_{4193-the lad} 'll be twelve next [February]_282-february . " "_{[282-february]} Umph ! only twelve ! [He]_{4193-the lad} 's tall and old - looking for [his]_{4193-the lad} age . [You]_3961-you look young enough , it is true . " [He]_0-i said this last sentence as if to [himself]_0-i , but seeing [Ruth]_81-ruth crimson up , [he]_0-i abruptly changed [his]_0-i tone . "_{[4193-the lad]} Twelve , is [he]_{4193-the lad} ! Well , [I]_0-i take [him]_{4193-the lad} from now . [I]_0-i do n't mean that [I]_0-i really take [him]_{4193-the lad} away from [you]_3961-you , " said [he]_0-i , softening all at once , and becoming grave and considerate . "_[0-i] [His]_{4193-the lad} being [[your]_3961-you son]_{1455-your son} -- [the son of one whom [I]_0-i have seen]_{3963-the son of one whom i have seen} -- as [I]_0-i have seen [you]_3961-you , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ( out and out [the best nurse [I]_0-i ever met with]_{3964-the best nurse i ever met with} , [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} ; and [good nurses]_{3965-good nurses} are things [we]_3966-we [doctors]_6672-doctors know how to value)--his being [[your]_3961-you son]_{1455-your son} is [his]_{4193-the lad} great recommendation to [me]_0-i ; not but what [the lad]_{4193-the lad} [himself]_{4193-the lad} is [a noble boy]_{3970-a noble boy} . [I]_0-i shall be glad to leave [him]_{4193-the lad} with [you]_3961-you as long and as much as [we]_3966-we can ; [he]_{4193-the lad} could not be tied to [your]_3961-you apron - strings all [his]_{4193-the lad} life , [you]_3961-you know . Only [I]_0-i provide for [his]_{4193-the lad} education , subject to [your]_3961-you consent and good pleasure , and [he]_{4193-the lad} is bound apprentice to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i , [[his]_{4193-the lad} guardian]_{3971-his guardian} , bind [him]_{4193-the lad} to [myself]_0-i , [the first surgeon in [Eccleston]_36-eccleston]_{3972-the first surgeon in eccleston} , be the other who [he]_{4193-the lad} may ; and in process of time [he]_{4193-the lad} becomes [partner]_3973-partner , and some day or other succeeds [me]_0-i . Now , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , what have [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} got to say against this plan ? [[My]_0-i wife]_{6584-my wife} is just as full of it as [me]_0-i . Come ! begin with [your]_3961-you objections . [You]_3961-you 're not [a woman]_{834-a woman} if [you]_3961-you have not a whole bag - full of [them]_3976-them ready to turn out against any reasonable proposal . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n't know , " faltered [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_[0-i] It is so sudden-- " "_[0-i] It is very , very kind of [you]_3961-you , [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} , " said [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , a little scandalised at [Ruth]_81-ruth 's non - expression of gratitude . "_{[275-mr davis]} Pooh ! pooh ! [I]_0-i 'll answer for it , in the long run , [I]_0-i am taking good care of [my]_0-i own interests . Come , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , is it a bargain ? " Now [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} spoke . "_{[275-mr davis]} [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} , it is rather sudden , as [she]_{6584-my wife} says . As far as [I]_0-i can see , it is the best as well as the kindest proposal that could have been made ; but [I]_0-i think [we]_3977-we must give [her]_{6584-my wife} a little time to think about it . " "_{[6584-my wife]} Well , twenty - four hours ! Will that do ? " [Ruth]_81-ruth lifted up [her]_81-ruth head . "_{[275-mr davis]} [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} , [I]_0-i am not ungrateful because [I]_0-i ca n't thank [you]_{275-mr davis} " ( [she]_{6584-my wife} was crying while [she]_{6584-my wife} spoke ) ; "_{[275-mr davis]} let [me]_0-i have a fortnight to consider about it . In a fortnight [I]_0-i will make up [my]_0-i mind . Oh , how good [you]_{275-mr davis} all are ! " "_{[275-mr davis]} Very well . Then this day fortnight -- Thursday the 28th -- [you]_{275-mr davis} will let [me]_0-i know [your]_{275-mr davis} decision . Mind ! if it 's against [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i sha n't consider it a decision , for [I]_0-i 'm determined to carry [my]_0-i point . [I]_0-i 'm not going to make [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} blush , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , by telling [you]_{275-mr davis} , in [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} presence , of all [I]_0-i have observed about [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} this last three weeks , that has made [me]_0-i sure of the good qualities [I]_0-i shall find in [this boy of [hers]_{156-mrs denbigh}]_{3978-this boy of hers} . [I]_0-i was watching [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} when [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} little thought it . Do [you]_{275-mr davis} remember that night when [Hector O'Brien]_{283-hector o'brien} was so furiously delirious , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} ? " [Ruth]_81-ruth went very white at the remembrance . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} Why now , look there ! how pale [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} is at the very thought of it . And yet , [I]_0-i assure [you]_{275-mr davis} , [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} was the one to go up and take the piece of glass from [him]_3979-him which [he]_3979-him had broken out of the window for the sole purpose of cutting [his]_3979-him throat , or the throat of [any one else]_{4234-any one else} , for that matter . [I]_0-i wish [we]_3981-we had [some others]_{3982-some others} as brave as [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} is . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought the great panic was passed away ! " said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . "_[0-i] Aye ! the general feeling of alarm is much weaker ; but , here and there , there are [as great fools as ever]_{3983-as great fools as ever} . Why , when [I]_0-i leave here , [I]_0-i am going to see [[our]_3981-we precious member]_{3984-our precious member} , [Mr Donne--]_{3985-mr donne--} " "_{[225-mr donne]} [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} ? " said [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_{[225-mr donne]} [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , who lies ill at [the Queen's]_{3986-the queen's} -- came last week , with the intention of canvassing , but was too much alarmed by what [he]_{225-mr donne} heard of the fever to set to work ; and , in spite of all [his]_{225-mr donne} precautions , [he]_{225-mr donne} has taken it ; and [you]_3987-you should see the terror [they]_3988-they are in at [the hotel]_{3989-the hotel} ; [landlord]_{3990-landlord} , [landlady]_{3991-landlady} , [waiters]_3992-waiters , [servants]_831-servants -- all ; there 's [not a creature]_{3994-not a creature} will go near [him]_{225-mr donne} , if [they]_3988-they can help it ; and there 's only [[his]_{225-mr donne} groom]_{3995-his groom} -- [a lad [he]_{225-mr donne} saved from drowning]_{3996-a lad he saved from drowning} , [I]_0-i 'm told -- to do anything for [him]_{225-mr donne} . [I]_0-i must get [him]_{225-mr donne} [a proper nurse]_{3997-a proper nurse} , somehow or somewhere , for all [my]_0-i being [a Cranworth man]_{3998-a cranworth man} . Ah , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! [you]_{143-mr benson} do n't know the temptations [we]_3999-we [medical men]_{4000-medical men} have . Think , if [I]_0-i allowed [[your]_{143-mr benson} member]_{4001-your member} to die now , as [he]_{225-mr donne} might very well , if [he]_{225-mr donne} had [no nurse]_{4002-no nurse} -- how famously [Mr Cranworth]_{223-mr cranworth} would walk over the course!--Where 's [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} gone to ? [I]_0-i hope [I]_0-i 've not frightened [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} away by reminding [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} of [Hector O'Brien]_{283-hector o'brien} , and that awful night , when [I]_0-i do assure [you]_{143-mr benson} [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} behaved like [a heroine]_{5152-a heroine} ! " As [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was showing [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} out , [Ruth]_81-ruth opened the study - door , and said , in a very calm , low voice : "_{[143-mr benson]} [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} ! will [you]_{143-mr benson} allow [me]_0-i to speak to [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} alone ? " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} immediately consented , thinking that , in all probability , [she]_81-ruth wished to ask some further questions about [Leonard]_104-leonard ; but as [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} came into [the room]_{357-the room} , and shut the door , [he]_{275-mr davis} was struck by [her]_81-ruth pale , stern face of determination , and awaited [her]_81-ruth speaking first . "_{[275-mr davis]} [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} ! [I]_0-i must go and nurse [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} , " said [she]_81-ruth at last , clenching [her]_81-ruth hands tight together , but no other part of [her]_81-ruth body moving from its intense stillness . "_[0-i] [Mr Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} ? " asked [he]_{275-mr davis} , astonished at the name . "_{[94-mr bellingham]} [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , [I]_0-i mean , " said [she]_81-ruth , hurriedly . "_{[225-mr donne]} [His]_{94-mr bellingham} name was [Bellingham]_{94-mr bellingham} . " "_{[94-mr bellingham]} Oh ! [I]_0-i remember hearing [he]_{94-mr bellingham} had changed [his]_{94-mr bellingham} name for [some property]_{4004-some property} . But [you]_{225-mr donne} must not think of any more such work just now . [You]_{225-mr donne} are not fit for it . [You]_{225-mr donne} are looking as white as ashes . " "_{[225-mr donne]} [I]_0-i must go , " [she]_6731-she repeated . "_[0-i] Nonsense ! Here 's [a man who can pay for the care of [the first hospital nurses in [London]_3-london]_{4006-the first hospital nurses in london}]_{4005-a man who can pay for the care of the first hospital nurses in london} -- and [I]_0-i doubt if [his]_{4005-a man who can pay for the care of the first hospital nurses in london} life is worth the risk of one of [theirs]_{4006-the first hospital nurses in london} even , much more of [yours]_{225-mr donne} . " "_[0-i] [We]_4007-we have no right to weigh human lives against [each other]_{579-each other} . " "_[0-i] No ! [I]_0-i know [we]_4007-we have not . But it 's a way [[we]_4007-we [doctors]_6672-doctors]_{4009-we doctors} are apt to get into ; and , at any rate , it 's ridiculous of [you]_{225-mr donne} to think of such a thing . Just listen to reason . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i ca n't ! [I]_0-i ca n't ! " cried [she]_6732-she , with sharp pain in [her]_6732-she voice . "_[0-i] [You]_{225-mr donne} must let [me]_0-i go , [dear Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} ! " said [she]_6732-she , now speaking with soft entreaty . "_{[275-mr davis]} No ! " said [he]_{275-mr davis} , shaking [his]_{275-mr davis} head authoritatively . "_{[275-mr davis]} [I]_0-i 'll do no such thing . " "_[0-i] Listen , " said [she]_6732-she , dropping [her]_6732-she voice , and going all over the deepest scarlet ; "_[4011-he] [he]_4011-he is [[Leonard]_104-leonard 's father]_{2912-leonard 's father} ! Now ! [you]_{275-mr davis} will let [me]_0-i go ! " [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} was indeed staggered by what [she]_6732-she said , and for a moment [he]_{275-mr davis} did not speak . So [she]_6732-she went on : "_{[275-mr davis]} [You]_{275-mr davis} will not tell ! [You]_{275-mr davis} must not tell ! [No one]_{517-no one} knows , not even [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , who it was . And now -- it might do [him]_{143-mr benson} so much harm to have it known . [You]_{275-mr davis} will not tell ! " "_{[275-mr davis]} No ! [I]_0-i will not tell , " replied [he]_{275-mr davis} . "_[0-i] But , [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} , [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} must answer [me]_0-i this one question , which [I]_0-i ask [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} in all true respect , but which [I]_0-i must ask , in order to guide both [myself]_0-i and [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} aright -- of course [I]_0-i knew [Leonard]_104-leonard was illegitimate -- in fact , [I]_0-i will give [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} secret for secret : it was being so [myself]_0-i that first made [me]_0-i sympathise with [him]_104-leonard , and desire to adopt [him]_104-leonard . [I]_0-i knew that much of [your]_{156-mrs denbigh} history ; but tell [me]_0-i , do [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} now care for [this man]_{5490-this man} ? Answer [me]_0-i truly -- do [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} love [him]_104-leonard ? " For a moment or two [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} did not speak ; [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} head was bent down ; then [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} raised it up , and looked with clear and honest eyes into [his]_104-leonard face . "_{[156-mrs denbigh]} [I]_0-i have been thinking -- but [I]_0-i do not know -- [I]_0-i can not tell -- [I]_0-i do n't think [I]_0-i should love [him]_104-leonard , if [he]_104-leonard were well and happy -- but [you]_{156-mrs denbigh} said [he]_104-leonard was ill -- and alone -- how can [I]_0-i help caring for [him?--how]_{4015-him?--how} can [I]_0-i help caring for [him]_104-leonard ? " repeated [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} , covering [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} face with [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} hands , and the quick hot tears stealing through [her]_{156-mrs denbigh} fingers . "_[0-i] [He]_104-leonard is [[Leonard]_104-leonard 's father]_{2912-leonard 's father} , " continued [she]_{156-mrs denbigh} , looking up at [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} suddenly . "_{[104-leonard]} [He]_104-leonard need not know -- [he]_104-leonard shall not -- that [I]_0-i have ever been near [him]_104-leonard . If [he]_104-leonard is like [the others]_{4149-the others} , [he]_104-leonard must be delirious -- [I]_0-i will leave [him]_104-leonard before [he]_104-leonard comes to [himself]_104-leonard -- but now let [me]_0-i go -- [I]_0-i must go . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [my]_0-i tongue had been bitten out before [I]_0-i had named [him]_104-leonard to [you]_0-i . [He]_104-leonard would do well enough without [you]_0-i ; and , [I]_0-i dare say , if [he]_104-leonard recognises [you]_0-i , [he]_104-leonard will only be annoyed . " "_{[104-leonard]} It is very likely , " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , heavily . "_{[104-leonard]} Annoyed,--why ! [he]_104-leonard may curse [you]_0-i for [your]_0-i unasked - for care of [him]_104-leonard . [I]_0-i have heard [[my]_0-i poor mother]_{4018-my poor mother} -- and [she]_{4018-my poor mother} was as pretty and delicate a creature as [you]_0-i are -- cursed for showing tenderness when it was not wanted . Now , be persuaded by [an old man like [me]_0-i , who has seen enough of life to make [his]_104-leonard heart ache]_{4019-an old man like me , who has seen enough of life to make his heart ache} -- leave [this fine gentleman]_{4020-this fine gentleman} to [his]_{4020-this fine gentleman} fate . [I]_0-i 'll promise [you]_0-i to get [him]_104-leonard as good [a nurse]_{3567-a nurse} as can be had for money . " "_[0-i] No ! " said [Ruth]_81-ruth , with dull persistency -- as if [she]_81-ruth had not attended to [his]_104-leonard dissuasions ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must go . [I]_0-i will leave [him]_104-leonard before [he]_104-leonard recognises [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Why , then , " said [the old surgeon]_{6733-the old surgeon} , "_[0-i] if [you]_0-i 're so bent upon it , [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i must let [you]_0-i . It is but what [[my]_0-i mother]_{4247-my mother} would have done -- poor , heart - broken thing ! However , come along , and let [us]_4023-us make the best of it . It saves [me]_0-i a deal of trouble , [I]_0-i know ; for , if [I]_0-i have [you]_0-i for a right hand , [I]_0-i need not worry [myself]_0-i continually with wondering how [he]_104-leonard is taken care of . Go ! get [your]_0-i bonnet , [[you]_0-i tender - hearted fool of [a woman]_{834-a woman}]_{4024-you tender - hearted fool of a woman} ! Let [us]_4023-us get [you]_0-i out of [the house]_{426-the house} without any more scenes or explanations ; [I]_0-i 'll make all straight with [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} . " "_{[157-the bensons]} [You]_0-i will not tell [my]_0-i secret , [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} , " [she]_{5598-the woman} said , abruptly . "_{[275-mr davis]} No ! not [I]_0-i ! Does [the woman]_{5598-the woman} think [I]_0-i had never to keep a secret of the kind before ? [I]_0-i only hope [he]_104-leonard 'll lose [his]_104-leonard election , and never come near [the place]_{444-the place} again . After all , " continued [he]_0-i , sighing , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suppose it is but human nature ! " [He]_0-i began recalling the circumstances of [his]_0-i own early life , and dreamily picturing scenes in the grey dying embers of the fire ; and [he]_0-i was almost startled when [she]_{5598-the woman} stood before [him]_0-i , ready equipped , grave , pale , and quiet . "_[0-i] Come along ! " said [he]_0-i . "_[0-i] If [you]_{5598-the woman} 're to do any good at all , it must be in these next three days . After that , [I]_0-i 'll ensure [his]_104-leonard life for this bout ; and mind ! [I]_0-i shall send [you]_{5598-the woman} [home]_4124-home then ; for [he]_104-leonard might know [you]_{5598-the woman} , and [I]_0-i 'll have no excitement to throw [him]_104-leonard back again , and no sobbing and crying from [you]_{5598-the woman} . But now every moment [your]_{5598-the woman} care is precious to [him]_104-leonard . [I]_0-i shall tell [my]_0-i own story to [the Bensons]_{157-the bensons} , as soon as [I]_0-i have installed [you]_{5598-the woman} . " [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} lay in [the best room of [the Queen 's Hotel]_{6735-the queen 's hotel}]_{6734-the best room of the queen 's hotel} -- [no one with [him]_{225-mr donne} but [his]_{225-mr donne} faithful , ignorant servant , who was as much afraid of the fever as [any one else]_{4234-any one else} could be , but who , nevertheless , would not leave [[his]_{225-mr donne} master]_{6738-his master} -- [[his]_{225-mr donne} master who had saved [his]_{225-mr donne} life as [a child]_{556-a child}]_{6739-his master who had saved his life as a child} , and afterwards put [him]_{225-mr donne} in [the stables at [Bellingham Hall]_{71-bellingham hall}]_{6741-the stables at bellingham hall} , where [he]_{225-mr donne} learnt all that [he]_{225-mr donne} knew . [He]_{225-mr donne} stood in a farther corner of [the room]_{357-the room} , watching [[his]_{225-mr donne} delirious master]_{6743-his delirious master} with affrighted eyes , not daring to come near [him]_{6743-his delirious master} , nor yet willing to leave [him]_{6743-his delirious master}]_{6736-no one with him but his faithful , ignorant servant , who was as much afraid of the fever as any one else could be , but who , nevertheless , would not leave his master -- his master who had saved his life as a child , and afterwards put him in the stables at bellingham hall , where he learnt all that he knew . he stood in a farther corner of the room , watching his delirious master with affrighted eyes , not daring to come near him , nor yet willing to leave him} . "_[0-i] Oh ! if [that doctor]_{4030-that doctor} would but come ! [He]_{4030-that doctor} 'll kill [himself]_{4030-that doctor} or [me]_0-i -- and [[them]_4031-them stupid servants]_{4032-them stupid servants} wo n't stir a step over the threshold ; how shall [I]_0-i get over the night ? Blessings on [him]_{4030-that doctor} -- here 's [the old doctor]_{4033-the old doctor} back again ! [I]_0-i hear [him]_{4033-the old doctor} creaking and scolding up the stairs ! " The door opened , and [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} entered , followed by [Ruth]_81-ruth . "_{[4033-the old doctor]} Here 's [the nurse]_{1141-the nurse} , [[my]_0-i good man]_{4035-my good man} -- [such a nurse as there is not in [the three counties]_{4037-the three counties}]_{4036-such a nurse as there is not in the three counties} . Now , all [you]_{4035-my good man} 'll have to do is to mind what [she]_{1141-the nurse} says . " "_{[1141-the nurse]} Oh , [sir]_4181-sir ! [he]_{4030-that doctor} 's mortal bad ! wo n't [you]_4181-sir stay with [us]_4039-us through the night , [sir]_4181-sir ? " "_[4181-sir] Look there ! " whispered [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} to [the man]_{5002-the man} , "_[4181-sir] see how [she]_{1141-the nurse} knows how to manage [him]_{4030-that doctor} ! Why , [I]_0-i could not do it better [myself]_0-i ! " [She]_{1141-the nurse} had gone up to [the wild , raging figure]_{6745-the wild , raging figure} , and with soft authority had made [him]_{5002-the man} lie down : and then , placing a basin of cold water by the bedside , [she]_{1141-the nurse} had dipped in it [her]_{1141-the nurse} pretty hands , and was laying their cool dampness on [his]_{5002-the man} hot brow , speaking in a low soothing voice all the time , in a way that acted like a charm in hushing [his]_{5002-the man} mad talk . "_{[1141-the nurse]} But [I]_0-i will stay , " said [the doctor]_{4191-the doctor} , after [he]_0-i had examined [[his]_0-i patient]_{344-his patient} ; "_[0-i] as much on [her]_{1141-the nurse} account as [his]_{4030-that doctor} ! and partly to quieten the fears of [this poor , faithful fellow]_{4041-this poor , faithful fellow} . " CHAPTER XXXV Out of Darkness into Light The third night after this was to be the crisis -- the turning - point between Life and Death . [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} came again to pass it by the bedside of [the sufferer]_{3576-the sufferer} . [Ruth]_81-ruth was there , constant and still , intent upon watching the symptoms , and acting according to [them]_6749-them , in obedience to [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} 's directions . [She]_81-ruth had never left [the room]_{357-the room} . Every sense had been strained in watching -- every power of thought or judgment had been kept on the full stretch . Now that [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} came and took [her]_81-ruth place , and that [the room]_{357-the room} was quiet for the night , [she]_81-ruth became oppressed with heaviness , which yet did not tend to sleep . [She]_81-ruth could not remember the present time , or where [she]_81-ruth was . All times of [her]_81-ruth earliest youth -- the days of [her]_81-ruth childhood -- were in [her]_81-ruth memory with a minuteness and fulness of detail which was miserable ; for all along [she]_81-ruth felt that [she]_81-ruth had no real grasp on the scenes that were passing through [her]_81-ruth mind -- that , somehow , they were long gone by , and gone by for ever -- and yet [she]_81-ruth could not remember who [she]_81-ruth was now , nor where [she]_81-ruth was , and whether [she]_81-ruth had now any interests in life to take the place of those which [she]_81-ruth was conscious had passed away , although [their]_6752-their remembrance filled [her]_81-ruth mind with painful acuteness . [Her]_81-ruth head lay on [her]_81-ruth arms , and they rested on the table . Every now and then [she]_81-ruth opened [her]_81-ruth eyes , and saw [the large room]_{6753-the large room} , handsomely furnished with articles that were each one incongruous with the other , as if bought at sales . [She]_81-ruth saw the flickering night - light -- [she]_81-ruth heard the ticking of the watch , and the two breathings , each going on at a separate rate -- one hurried , abruptly stopping , and then panting violently , as if to make up for lost time ; and the other slow , steady , and regular , as if [the breather]_{6754-the breather} was asleep ; but this supposition was contradicted by an occasional repressed sound of yawning . The sky through the uncurtained window looked dark and black -- would this night never have an end ? Had the sun gone down for ever , and would [the world]_{506-the world} at last awaken to a general sense of everlasting night ? Then [she]_81-ruth felt as if [she]_81-ruth ought to get up , and go and see how [the troubled sleeper in yonder bed]_{6756-the troubled sleeper in yonder bed} was struggling through [his]_{6756-the troubled sleeper in yonder bed} illness ; but [she]_81-ruth could not remember who [the sleeper]_{6757-the sleeper} was , and [she]_81-ruth shrunk from seeing some phantom - face on the pillow , such as now began to haunt the dark corners of [the room]_{357-the room} , and look at [her]_81-ruth , jibbering and mowing as [they]_6752-their looked . So [she]_81-ruth covered [her]_81-ruth face again , and sank into a whirling stupor of sense and feeling . By - and - by [she]_81-ruth heard [[her]_81-ruth fellow - watcher]_{6759-her fellow - watcher} stirring , and a dull wonder stole over [her]_81-ruth as to what [he]_{6759-her fellow - watcher} was doing ; but [the heavy languor]_{6760-the heavy languor} pressed [her]_81-ruth down , and kept [her]_81-ruth still . At last [she]_81-ruth heard the words , "_{[1141-the nurse]} Come here , " and listlessly obeyed the command . [She]_81-ruth had to steady [herself]_81-ruth in [the rocking chamber]_{6761-the rocking chamber} before [she]_81-ruth could walk to the bed by which [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} stood ; but the effort to do so roused [her]_81-ruth , and , although conscious of an oppressive headache , [she]_81-ruth viewed with sudden and clear vision all the circumstances of [her]_81-ruth present position . [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} was near the head of the bed , holding the night - lamp high , and shading it with [his]_{275-mr davis} hand , that it might not disturb [the sick person]_{6762-the sick person} , who lay with [his]_{275-mr davis} face towards [them]_6763-them , in feeble exhaustion , but with every sign that the violence of the fever had left [him]_{275-mr davis} . It so happened that the rays of the lamp fell bright and full upon [Ruth]_81-ruth 's countenance , as [she]_81-ruth stood with [her]_81-ruth crimson lips parted with the hurrying breath , and the fever - flush brilliant on [her]_81-ruth cheeks . [Her]_81-ruth eyes were wide open , and their pupils distended . [She]_81-ruth looked on the invalid in silence , and hardly understood why [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} had summoned [her]_81-ruth [there]_332-there . "_{[1141-the nurse]} Do n't [you]_4042-you see the change ? [He]_4043-he is better!--the crisis is past ! " But [she]_81-ruth did not speak ; [her]_81-ruth looks were riveted on [his]_{275-mr davis} softly - unclosing eyes , which met [hers]_81-ruth as they opened languidly . [She]_81-ruth could not stir or speak . [She]_81-ruth was held fast by that gaze of [his]_{275-mr davis} , in which a faint recognition dawned , and grew to strength . [He]_{275-mr davis} murmured some words . [They]_6765-they strained [their]_6765-they sense to hear . [He]_{275-mr davis} repeated them even lower than before ; but this time [they]_6765-they caught what [he]_{275-mr davis} was saying . "_{[1141-the nurse]} Where are the water - lilies ? Where are the lilies in [her]_4043-he hair ? " [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} drew [Ruth]_81-ruth away . "_[4043-he] [He]_4043-he is still rambling , " said [he]_{275-mr davis} , "_[4043-he] but the fever has left [him]_4043-he . " The grey dawn was now filling [the room]_{357-the room} with its cold light ; was it that made [Ruth]_81-ruth 's cheek so deadly pale ? Could that call out the wild entreaty of [her]_81-ruth look , as if imploring help against some cruel foe that held [her]_81-ruth fast , and was wrestling with [her]_81-ruth Spirit of Life ? [She]_81-ruth held [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} 's arm . If [she]_81-ruth had let it go , [she]_81-ruth would have fallen . "_{[1141-the nurse]} Take [me]_0-i [home]_4124-home , " [she]_81-ruth said , and fainted dead away . [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} carried [her]_81-ruth out of [the chamber]_{6767-the chamber} , and sent [the groom]_{6768-the groom} to keep watch by [[his]_{275-mr davis} master]_{6738-his master} . [He]_{275-mr davis} ordered a fly to convey [her]_81-ruth to [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's]_{6770-mr benson 's} , and lifted [her]_81-ruth in when it came , for [she]_81-ruth was still half unconscious . It was [he]_{275-mr davis} who carried [her]_81-ruth [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} to [[her]_81-ruth room]_{792-her room} , where [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} and [Sally]_148-sally undressed and laid [her]_81-ruth in [her]_81-ruth bed . [He]_{275-mr davis} awaited [their]_6773-their proceedings in [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's study]_{1717-mr benson 's study} . When [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} came in , [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} said : "_{[1141-the nurse]} Do n't blame [me]_0-i . Do n't add to [my]_0-i self - reproach . [I]_0-i have killed [her]_4045-she . [I]_0-i was [a cruel fool]_{4046-a cruel fool} to let [her]_4045-she go . Do n't speak to [me]_0-i . " "_{[4046-a cruel fool]} It may not be so bad , " said [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [himself]_{143-mr benson} needing comfort in that shock . "_[4045-she] [She]_4045-she may recover . [She]_4045-she surely will recover . [I]_0-i believe [she]_4045-she will . " "_[0-i] No , no ! [she]_4045-she wo n't . But by ---- [she]_4045-she shall , if [I]_0-i can save [her]_4045-she . " [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} looked defiantly at [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} , as if [he]_0-i were [Fate]_284-fate . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i tell [you]_0-i [she]_4045-she shall recover , or else [I]_0-i am [a murderer]_{4047-a murderer} . What business had [I]_0-i to take [her]_4045-she to nurse [him--]_4048-him-- " [He]_{275-mr davis} was cut short by [Sally]_148-sally 's entrance and announcement that [Ruth]_81-ruth was now prepared to see [him]_{275-mr davis} . From that time forward [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} devoted all [his]_{275-mr davis} leisure , [his]_{275-mr davis} skill , [his]_{275-mr davis} energy , to save [her]_4045-she . [He]_{275-mr davis} called on [the rival surgeon]_{6775-the rival surgeon} to beg [him]_{275-mr davis} to undertake the management of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's recovery , saying , with [his]_0-i usual self - mockery , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could not answer it to [Mr Cranworth]_{223-mr cranworth} if [I]_0-i had brought [[his]_{223-mr cranworth} opponent]_{4049-his opponent} round , [you]_4050-you know , when [I]_0-i had had such a fine opportunity in [my]_0-i power . Now , with [[your]_4050-you patients]_{4051-your patients} , and general Radical interest , it will be rather a feather in [your]_4050-you cap ; for [he]_{223-mr cranworth} may want a good deal of care yet , though [he]_{223-mr cranworth} is getting on famously -- so rapidly , in fact , that it 's a strong temptation to [me]_0-i to throw [him]_{223-mr cranworth} back -- a relapse , [you]_4050-you know . " [The other surgeon]_{6776-the other surgeon} bowed gravely , apparently taking [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} in earnest , but certainly very glad of the job thus opportunely thrown in [his]_{275-mr davis} way . In spite of [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} 's real and deep anxiety about [Ruth]_81-ruth , [he]_{275-mr davis} could not help chuckling over [[his]_{275-mr davis} rival]_{6777-his rival} 's literal interpretation of all [he]_{275-mr davis} had said . "_[4050-you] To be sure , what [fools men]_{4052-fools men} are ! [I]_0-i do n't know why [one]_321-one should watch and strive to keep [them]_{4052-fools men} in [the world]_{506-the world} . [I]_0-i have given [this fellow]_{4055-this fellow} something to talk about confidentially to all [[his]_{223-mr cranworth} patients]_{4056-his patients} ; [I]_0-i wonder how much stronger a dose [the man]_{5002-the man} would have swallowed ! [I]_0-i must begin to take care of [my]_0-i practice for [that lad yonder]_{4058-that lad yonder} . Well - a - day ! well - a - day ! What was [this sick fine gentleman]_{4059-this sick fine gentleman} sent [here]_4172-here for , that [she]_{4058-that lad yonder} should run a chance of [her]_{4058-that lad yonder} life for [him]_{4055-this fellow} ? or why was [he]_{4055-this fellow} sent into [the world]_{506-the world} at all , for that matter ? " Indeed , however much [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} might labour with all [his]_{275-mr davis} professional skill -- however much [they]_6778-they might all watch -- and pray -- and weep -- it was but too evident that [Ruth]_81-ruth "_{[4127-mother]} [home]_4124-home must go , and take [her]_{4058-that lad yonder} wages . " Poor , poor [Ruth]_81-ruth ! It might be that , utterly exhausted by watching and nursing , first in [the hospital]_{3843-the hospital} , and then by the bedside of [[her]_81-ruth former lover]_{6780-her former lover} , the power of [her]_81-ruth constitution was worn out ; or , it might be , [her]_81-ruth gentle , pliant sweetness , but [she]_81-ruth displayed no outrage or discord even in [her]_81-ruth delirium . There [she]_81-ruth lay in [the attic]_{6781-the attic} - room in which [[her]_81-ruth baby]_{4737-her baby} had been born , [her]_81-ruth watch over [him]_{4737-her baby} kept , [her]_81-ruth confession to [him]_{4737-her baby} made ; and now [she]_81-ruth was stretched on the bed in utter helplessness , softly gazing at vacancy with [her]_81-ruth open , unconscious eyes , from which all the depth of their meaning had fled , and all [they]_6783-they told was of a sweet , child - like insanity within . [The watchers]_{1237-the watchers} could not touch [her]_81-ruth with [their]_{1237-the watchers} sympathy , or come near [her]_81-ruth in [her]_81-ruth dim world;--so , mutely , but looking at [each other]_{579-each other} from time to time with tearful eyes , [they]_{1237-the watchers} took a poor comfort from the one evident fact that , though lost and gone astray , [she]_81-ruth was happy and at peace . [They]_{1237-the watchers} had never heard [her]_81-ruth sing ; indeed , the simple art which [[her]_81-ruth mother]_{710-her mother} had taught [her]_81-ruth , had died , with [her]_81-ruth early joyousness , at [that dear mother]_{6787-that dear mother} 's death . But now [she]_81-ruth sang continually , very soft and low . [She]_81-ruth went from one childish ditty to another without let or pause , keeping a strange sort of time with [her]_81-ruth pretty fingers , as they closed and unclosed themselves upon the counterpane . [She]_81-ruth never looked at [any one]_{425-any one} with the slightest glimpse of memory or intelligence in [her]_81-ruth face ; no , not even at [Leonard]_104-leonard . [Her]_81-ruth strength faded day by day ; but [she]_81-ruth knew it not . [Her]_81-ruth sweet lips were parted to sing , even after the breath and the power to do so had left [her]_81-ruth , and [her]_81-ruth fingers fell idly on the bed . Two days [she]_81-ruth lingered thus -- all but gone from [them]_6789-they , and yet still there . [They]_6789-they stood around [her]_81-ruth bedside , not speaking , or sighing , or moaning ; [they]_6789-they were too much awed by the exquisite peacefulness of [her]_81-ruth look for that . Suddenly [she]_81-ruth opened wide [her]_81-ruth eyes , and gazed intently forwards , as if [she]_81-ruth saw some happy vision , which called out a lovely , rapturous , breathless smile . [They]_6789-they held [their]_6789-they very breaths . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i see the Light coming , " said [she]_81-ruth . "_[0-i] The Light is coming , " [she]_81-ruth said . And , raising [herself]_81-ruth slowly , [she]_81-ruth stretched out [her]_81-ruth arms , and then fell back , very still for evermore . [They]_6789-they did not speak . [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} was the first to utter a word . "_[0-i] It is over ! " said [he]_{275-mr davis} . "_[4063-her] [She]_4063-her is dead ! " Out rang through [the room]_{357-the room} the cry of [Leonard]_104-leonard : "_{[4127-mother]} [Mother]_4127-mother ! [mother]_4127-mother ! [mother]_4127-mother ! [You]_4127-mother have not left [me]_0-i alone ! [You]_4127-mother will not leave [me]_0-i alone ! [You]_4127-mother are not dead ! [Mother]_4127-mother ! [Mother]_4127-mother ! " [They]_6789-they had pent in [his]_{275-mr davis} agony of apprehension till then , that no wail of [[her]_4063-her child]_{631-her child} might disturb [her]_4063-her ineffable calm . But now there was a cry heard through [the house]_{426-the house} , of one refusing to be comforted : "_{[4127-mother]} [Mother]_4127-mother ! [Mother]_139-mother ! " But [Ruth]_81-ruth lay dead . CHAPTER XXXVI The End A stupor of grief succeeded to [Leonard]_104-leonard 's passionate cries . [He]_104-leonard became so much depressed , physically as well as mentally , before the end of the day , that [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} was seriously alarmed for the consequences . [He]_{275-mr davis} hailed with gladness a proposal made by [the Farquhars]_{216-mr farquhars} , that [the boy]_{4189-the boy} should be removed to [[their]_6789-they house]_{2740-their house} , and placed under the fond care of [[[his]_{4189-the boy} mother]_{655-his mother} 's friend , who sent [[her]_4063-her own child]_{2637-her own child} to [Abermouth]_50-abermouth]_{6796-his mother 's friend , who sent her own child to abermouth} the better to devote [herself]_4063-her to [Leonard]_104-leonard . When [they]_6789-they told [him]_104-leonard of this arrangement , [he]_104-leonard at first refused to go and leave _ [her]_4070-her _ ; but when [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} said : "_[4070-her] _ [She]_4070-her _ would have wished it , [Leonard]_104-leonard ! Do it for [her]_4070-her sake ! " [he]_104-leonard went away very quietly ; not speaking a word , after [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} had made the voluntary promise that [he]_104-leonard should see [her]_4070-her once again . [He]_104-leonard neither spoke nor cried for many hours ; and all [Jemima]_217-jemima 's delicate wiles were called forth , before [his]_104-leonard heavy heart could find the relief of tears . And then [he]_104-leonard was so weak , and [his]_104-leonard pulse so low , that all who loved [him]_104-leonard feared for [his]_104-leonard life . Anxiety about [him]_104-leonard made a sad distraction from the sorrow for the dead . [The three old people]_{6798-the three old people} , who now formed [the household in [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house}]_{6799-the household in the chapel - house} , went about slowly and dreamily , each with a dull wonder at [their]_{6798-the three old people} hearts why [they]_{6798-the three old people} , [the infirm and worn - out]_{6801-the infirm and worn - out} , were left , while [she]_4070-her was taken in [her]_4070-her lovely prime . The third day after [Ruth]_81-ruth 's death , [a gentleman]_{1084-a gentleman} came to the door and asked to speak to [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_104-leonard was very much wrapped up in furs and cloaks , and the upper , exposed part of [his]_104-leonard face was sunk and hollow , like that of [one but partially recovered from illness]_{6803-one but partially recovered from illness} . [Mr]_6804-mr and [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} were at [[Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} 's]_{3678-mr farquhar 's} , gone to see [Leonard]_104-leonard , and [poor old Sally]_148-sally had been having a hearty cry over the kitchen fire before answering the door - knock . [Her]_148-sally heart was tenderly inclined just then towards [any one who had the aspect of suffering]_{6806-any one who had the aspect of suffering} ; so , although [[her]_148-sally master]_{1699-her master} was out , and [she]_148-sally was usually chary of admitting [strangers]_{5548-strangers} , [she]_148-sally proposed to [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} ( for it was [he]_{225-mr donne} ) that [he]_{225-mr donne} should come in and await [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's return in [the study]_{1738-the study} . [He]_{143-mr benson} was glad enough to avail [himself]_{143-mr benson} of [her]_148-sally offer ; for [he]_{143-mr benson} was feeble and nervous , and come on a piece of business which [he]_{143-mr benson} exceedingly disliked , and about which [he]_{143-mr benson} felt very awkward . The fire was nearly , if not quite , out ; nor did [Sally]_148-sally 's vigorous blows do much good , although [she]_148-sally left [the room]_{357-the room} with an assurance that it would soon burn up . [He]_{143-mr benson} leant against the chimney - piece , thinking over events , and with a sensation of discomfort , both external and internal , growing and gathering upon [him]_{143-mr benson} . [He]_{143-mr benson} almost wondered whether the proposal [he]_{143-mr benson} meant to make with regard to [Leonard]_104-leonard could not be better arranged by letter than by an interview . [He]_{143-mr benson} became very shivery , and impatient of the state of indecision to which [his]_{143-mr benson} bodily weakness had reduced [him]_{143-mr benson} . [Sally]_148-sally opened the door and came in . "_[4070-her] Would [you]_4071-you like to walk [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} , [sir]_4181-sir ? " asked [she]_148-sally , in a trembling voice , for [she]_148-sally had learnt who [the visitor]_{6811-the visitor} was from [the driver of the fly , who had run up to [the house]_{426-the house} to inquire what was detaining [the gentleman that [he]_4181-sir had brought from [the Queen 's Hotel]_{6735-the queen 's hotel}]_{6814-the gentleman that he had brought from the queen 's hotel}]_{6812-the driver of the fly , who had run up to the house to inquire what was detaining the gentleman that he had brought from the queen 's hotel} ; and , knowing that [Ruth]_81-ruth had caught the fatal fever from [her]_81-ruth attendance on [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , [Sally]_148-sally imagined that it was but a piece of sad civility to invite [him]_4071-you [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} to see the poor dead body , which [she]_148-sally had laid out and decked for the grave , with such fond care that [she]_148-sally had grown strangely proud of its marble beauty . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was glad enough of any proposal of a change from [the cold and comfortless room where [he]_{225-mr donne} had thought uneasy , remorseful thoughts]_{6817-the cold and comfortless room where he had thought uneasy , remorseful thoughts} . [He]_{225-mr donne} fancied that a change of place would banish the train of reflection that was troubling [him]_{225-mr donne} ; but the change [he]_{225-mr donne} anticipated was to [a well - warmed , cheerful sitting - room , with signs of life , and a bright fire therein]_{6818-a well - warmed , cheerful sitting - room , with signs of life , and a bright fire therein} ; and [he]_{225-mr donne} was on the last flight of stairs,--at the door of [the room where [Ruth]_81-ruth lay]_{6819-the room where ruth lay} -- before [he]_{225-mr donne} understood whither [Sally]_148-sally was conducting [him]_{225-mr donne} . [He]_{225-mr donne} shrank back for an instant , and then a strange sting of curiosity impelled [him]_{225-mr donne} on . [He]_{225-mr donne} stood in [the humble low - roofed attic]_{6820-the humble low - roofed attic} , the window open , and the tops of [the distant snow - covered hills]_{6821-the distant snow - covered hills} filling up the whiteness of the general aspect . [He]_{225-mr donne} muffled [himself]_{225-mr donne} up in [his]_{225-mr donne} cloak , and shuddered , while [Sally]_148-sally reverently drew down the sheet , and showed the beautiful , calm , still face , on which the last rapturous smile still lingered , giving an ineffable look of bright serenity . [Her]_4074-her arms were crossed over [her]_4074-her breast ; the wimple - like cap marked the perfect oval of [her]_4074-her face , while two braids of the waving auburn hair peeped out of the narrow border , and lay on the delicate cheeks . [He]_{225-mr donne} was awed into admiration by the wonderful beauty of [that dead woman]_{6822-that dead woman} . "_[4070-her] How beautiful [she]_4074-her is ! " said [he]_{225-mr donne} , beneath [his]_{225-mr donne} breath . "_[4070-her] Do [all dead people]_{4075-all dead people} look so peaceful -- so happy ? " "_[4070-her] Not all , " replied [Sally]_148-sally , crying . "_[4070-her] [Few]_2104-few has been as good and as gentle as [she]_4074-her was in [their]_2104-few lives . " [She]_148-sally quite shook with [her]_148-sally sobbing . [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} was disturbed by [her]_148-sally distress . "_[2104-few] Come , [[my]_0-i good woman]_{4218-my good woman} ! [we]_4078-we must [all]_851-all die-- " [he]_0-i did not know what to say , and was becoming infected by [her]_148-sally sorrow . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am sure [you]_{4218-my good woman} loved [her]_4074-her very much , and were very kind to [her]_4074-her in [her]_4074-her lifetime ; [you]_{4218-my good woman} must take this from [me]_0-i to buy [yourself]_{4218-my good woman} some remembrance of [her]_4074-her . " [He]_0-i had pulled out a sovereign , and really had a kindly desire to console [her]_148-sally , and reward [her]_148-sally , in offering it to [her]_148-sally . But [she]_148-sally took [her]_148-sally apron from [her]_148-sally eyes , as soon as [she]_148-sally became aware of what [he]_0-i was doing , and , still holding it midway in [her]_148-sally hands , [she]_148-sally looked at [him]_0-i indignantly , before [she]_148-sally burst out : "_{[4218-my good woman]} And who are [you]_0-i , that think to pay for [my]_0-i kindness to [her]_4074-her by money ? And [I]_0-i was not kind to [you]_0-i , [[my]_0-i darling]_{4347-my darling} , " said [she]_148-sally , passionately addressing [the motionless , serene body--"I]_{6823-the motionless , serene body--"i[0-i]} was not kind to [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i frabbed [you]_0-i , and plagued [you]_0-i from the first , [[my]_0-i lamb]_{4081-my lamb} ! [I]_0-i came and cut off [your]_0-i pretty locks in [this very room]_{4306-this very room} -- [I]_0-i did -- and [you]_0-i said never an angry word to [me;--no]_0-i ! not then , nor many a time after , when [I]_0-i was very sharp and cross to you.--No ! [I]_0-i never was kind to [you]_0-i , and [I]_0-i dunnot think [the world]_{506-the world} was kind to [you]_0-i , [my]_0-i darling,--but [you]_0-i are gone where [the angels]_{4084-the angels} are very tender to such as [you]_0-i -- [you]_0-i are , [[my]_0-i poor wench]_{6681-my poor wench} ! " [She]_{6681-my poor wench} bent down and kissed the lips , from whose marble , unyielding touch [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} recoiled , even in thought . Just then , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} entered [the room]_{357-the room} . [He]_{143-mr benson} had returned [home]_4124-home before [[his]_{143-mr benson} sister]_{4508-his sister} , and come [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} in search of [Sally]_148-sally , to whom [he]_{143-mr benson} wanted to speak on some subject relating to the funeral . [He]_{143-mr benson} bowed in recognition of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , whom [he]_{143-mr benson} knew as [the member for [the town]_{396-the town}]_{6828-the member for the town} , and whose presence impressed [him]_{143-mr benson} painfully , as [his]_{225-mr donne} illness had been the proximate cause of [Ruth]_81-ruth 's death . But [he]_{143-mr benson} tried to check this feeling , as it was no fault of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's . [Sally]_148-sally stole out of [the room]_{357-the room} , to cry at leisure in [[her]_148-sally kitchen]_{1778-her kitchen} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must apologise for being [here]_4172-here , " said [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was hardly conscious where [[your]_0-i servant]_{4087-your servant} was leading [me]_0-i to , when [she]_{4087-your servant} expressed [her]_{4087-your servant} wish that [I]_0-i should walk [upstairs]_{1186-upstairs} . " "_{[4087-your servant]} It is a very common idea in [this town]_{4089-this town} , that it is a gratification to be asked to take a last look at the dead , " replied [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} . "_{[4087-your servant]} And in this case [I]_0-i am glad to have seen [her]_{4087-your servant} once more , " said [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} . "_{[4087-your servant]} [Poor Ruth]_81-ruth ! " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} glanced up at [him]_{225-mr donne} at the last word . How did [he]_{143-mr benson} know [her]_{4087-your servant} name ? To [him]_{143-mr benson} [she]_{4087-your servant} had only been [Mrs Denbigh]_{156-mrs denbigh} . But [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} had no idea that [he]_{225-mr donne} was talking to one unaware of the connexion that had formerly existed between [them]_6832-them ; and , though [he]_{225-mr donne} would have preferred carrying on the conversation in [a warmer room]_{6833-a warmer room} , yet , as [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was still gazing at [her]_{4087-your servant} with sad , lingering love , [he]_{143-mr benson} went on : "_[81-ruth] [I]_0-i did not recognise [her]_{4087-your servant} when [she]_{4087-your servant} came to nurse [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i was delirious . [[My]_0-i servant]_{4090-my servant} , who had known [her]_{4087-your servant} long ago , in [Fordham]_27-fordham , told [me]_0-i who [she]_{4087-your servant} was . [I]_0-i can not tell how [I]_0-i regret that [she]_{4087-your servant} should have died in consequence of [her]_{4087-your servant} love of [me]_0-i . " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} looked up at [him]_{143-mr benson} again , a stern light filling [his]_0-i eyes as [he]_0-i did so . [He]_{143-mr benson} waited impatiently to hear more , either to quench or confirm [his]_{143-mr benson} suspicions . If [she]_{4087-your servant} had not been lying there , very still and calm , [he]_{143-mr benson} would have forced the words out of [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} , by some abrupt question . As it was , [he]_{143-mr benson} listened silently , [his]_{143-mr benson} heart quick - beating . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know that money is but a poor compensation,--is no remedy for this event , or for [my]_0-i youthful folly . " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} set [his]_{143-mr benson} teeth hard together , to keep in words little short of a curse . "_[0-i] Indeed , [I]_0-i offered [her]_{4087-your servant} money to almost any amount before;--do [me]_0-i justice , [sir]_4181-sir , " catching the gleam of indignation on [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's face ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i offered to marry [her]_{4087-your servant} , and provide for [the boy]_{4189-the boy} as if [he]_{4189-the boy} had been legitimate . It 's of no use recurring to that time , " said [he]_0-i , [his]_0-i voice faltering ; "_[0-i] what is done can not be undone . But [I]_0-i came now to say , that [I]_0-i should be glad to leave [the boy]_{4189-the boy} still under [your]_4181-sir charge , and that every expense [you]_4181-sir think it right to incur in [his]_{4189-the boy} education [I]_0-i will defray;--and place a sum of money in trust for [him]_{4189-the boy} -- say , two thousand pounds -- or more : fix what [you]_4181-sir will . Of course , if [you]_4181-sir decline retaining [him]_{4189-the boy} , [I]_0-i must find [some one else]_{4229-some one else} ; but the provision for [him]_{4189-the boy} shall be the same , for [my]_0-i poor [Ruth]_81-ruth 's sake . " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} did not speak . [He]_{143-mr benson} could not , till [he]_{143-mr benson} had gathered some peace from looking at the ineffable repose of [the Dead]_{285-the dead} . Then , before [he]_{143-mr benson} answered , [he]_{143-mr benson} covered up [her]_4097-her face ; and in [his]_{143-mr benson} voice there was the stillness of ice . "_[81-ruth] [Leonard]_104-leonard is not unprovided for . [Those that honoured [[his]_104-leonard mother]_{655-his mother}]_{4095-those that honoured his mother} will take care of [him]_104-leonard . [He]_104-leonard shall never touch a penny of [your]_4097-her money . Every offer of service [you]_4097-her have made , [I]_0-i reject in [his]_104-leonard name,--and in [her]_{655-his mother} presence , " said [he]_0-i , bending towards [the Dead]_{285-the dead} . "_[0-i] [Men]_836-men may call such actions as [yours]_4097-her , [youthful follies]_{4099-youthful follies} ! There is another name for [them]_836-men with [God]_104-leonard . [Sir]_4181-sir ! [I]_0-i will follow [you]_4181-sir [downstairs]_{4556-downstairs} . " All the way down , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} heard [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's voice urging and entreating , but the words [he]_{143-mr benson} could not recognise for the thoughts that filled [his]_{143-mr benson} brain -- the rapid putting together of events that was going on there . And when [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} turned at the door , to speak again , and repeat [his]_{225-mr donne} offers of service to [Leonard]_104-leonard , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} made answer , without well knowing whether the answer fitted the question or not : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thank [God]_104-leonard , [you]_4181-sir have no right , legal or otherwise , over [the child]_{565-the child} . And for [her]_{565-the child} sake , [I]_0-i will spare [him]_{565-the child} the shame of ever hearing [your]_4181-sir name as [[his]_{565-the child} father]_{658-his father} . " [He]_{143-mr benson} shut the door in [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} 's face . "_{[4104-an ill - bred , puritanical old fellow]} [An ill - bred , puritanical old fellow]_{4104-an ill - bred , puritanical old fellow} ! [He]_{565-the child} may have [the boy]_{4189-the boy} , [I]_0-i am sure , for aught [I]_0-i care . [I]_0-i have done [my]_0-i duty , and will get out of this abominable place as soon as [I]_0-i can . [I]_0-i wish [my]_0-i last remembrance of [my]_0-i beautiful [Ruth]_81-ruth was not mixed up with [all these people]_{4106-all these people} . " [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was bitterly oppressed with this interview ; it disturbed the peace with which [he]_{143-mr benson} was beginning to contemplate events . [His]_{143-mr benson} anger ruffled [him]_{143-mr benson} , although such anger had been just , and such indignation well deserved ; and both had been unconsciously present in [his]_{143-mr benson} heart for years against [the unknown seducer , whom [he]_{143-mr benson} met face to face by the death - bed of [Ruth]_81-ruth]_{6834-the unknown seducer , whom he met face to face by the death - bed of ruth} . It gave [him]_{143-mr benson} a shock which [he]_{143-mr benson} did not recover from for many days . [He]_{143-mr benson} was nervously afraid lest [Mr Donne]_{225-mr donne} should appear at the funeral ; and not all the reasons [he]_{143-mr benson} alleged to [himself]_{143-mr benson} against this apprehension , put it utterly away from [him]_{143-mr benson} . Before then , however , [he]_{143-mr benson} heard casually ( for [he]_{143-mr benson} would allow [himself]_{143-mr benson} no inquiries ) that [he]_{143-mr benson} had left [the town]_{396-the town} . No ! [Ruth]_81-ruth 's funeral passed over in calm and simple solemnity . [[Her]_81-ruth child]_{631-her child} , [[her]_81-ruth own household]_{6636-her own household} , [[her]_81-ruth friend]_{431-her friend} , and [Mr Farquhar]_{193-mr farquhar} , quietly walked after the bier , which was borne by [some of [the poor to whom [she]_81-ruth had been very kind in [her]_81-ruth lifetime]_{6840-the poor to whom she had been very kind in her lifetime}]_{6839-some of the poor to whom she had been very kind in her lifetime} . And [many others]_{6841-many others} stood aloof in [the little burying - ground]_{6842-the little burying - ground} , sadly watching that last ceremony . [They]_{6841-many others} slowly dispersed ; [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} leading [Leonard]_104-leonard by the hand , and secretly wondering at [his]_104-leonard self - restraint . Almost as soon as [they]_{6841-many others} had let [themselves]_{6841-many others} into [the Chapel - house]_{2563-the chapel - house} , [a messenger]_{6844-a messenger} brought a note from [Mrs Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} , with a pot of quince marmalade , which , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} said to [Miss Benson]_{143-mr benson} , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} thought that [Leonard]_104-leonard might fancy , and if [he]_104-leonard did , [they]_{6841-many others} were to be sure and let [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} know , as [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} had plenty more ; or , was there anything else that [he]_104-leonard would like ? [She]_{151-mrs bradshaw} would gladly make [him]_104-leonard whatever [he]_104-leonard fancied . [Poor Leonard]_{286-poor leonard} ! [he]_104-leonard lay stretched on the sofa , white and tearless , beyond the power of any such comfort , however kindly offered ; but this was only one of the many homely , simple attentions , which all came round [him]_104-leonard to offer , from [Mr Grey]_{280-mr grey} , [the rector]_{3933-the rector} , down to [the nameless poor who called at the back door to inquire how it fared with _ [[her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} _ child]_{6847-her _ child}]_{6846-the nameless poor who called at the back door to inquire how it fared with _ her _ child} . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} was anxious , according to Dissenting custom , to preach an appropriate funeral sermon . It was the last office [he]_{143-mr benson} could render to [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} ; it should be done well and carefully . Moreover , it was possible that the circumstances of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} life , which were known to [all]_851-all , might be made effective in this manner to work conviction of many truths . Accordingly , [he]_{143-mr benson} made great preparation of thought and paper ; [he]_{143-mr benson} laboured hard , destroying sheet after sheet -- [his]_{143-mr benson} eyes filling with tears between - whiles , as [he]_{143-mr benson} remembered some fresh proof of the humility and sweetness of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} life . Oh , that [he]_{143-mr benson} could do [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} justice ! but words seemed hard and inflexible , and refused to fit themselves to [his]_{143-mr benson} ideas . [He]_{143-mr benson} sat late on Saturday , writing ; [he]_{143-mr benson} watched through the night till Sunday morning was far advanced . [He]_{143-mr benson} had never taken such pains with any sermon , and [he]_{143-mr benson} was only half satisfied with it after all . [Mrs Farquhar]_{266-mrs farquhar} had comforted the bitterness of [Sally]_148-sally 's grief by giving [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} very handsome mourning . At any rate , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} felt oddly proud and exulting when [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} thought of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} new black gown ; but when [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} remembered why [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} wore it , [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} scolded [herself]_{151-mrs bradshaw} pretty sharply for [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} satisfaction , and took to crying afresh with redoubled vigour . [She]_{151-mrs bradshaw} spent the Sunday morning in alternately smoothing down [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} skirts and adjusting [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} broad hemmed collar , or bemoaning the occasion with tearful earnestness . But the sorrow overcame the little quaint vanity of [her]_{151-mrs bradshaw} heart , as [she]_{151-mrs bradshaw} saw troop after troop of [humbly - dressed mourners]_{6849-humbly - dressed mourners} pass by into [the old chapel]_{6850-the old chapel} . [They]_6851-they were very poor -- but each had mounted some rusty piece of crape , or some faded black ribbon . [The old]_{6852-the old} came halting and slow -- [the mothers]_{6853-the mothers} carried [[their]_{6853-the mothers} quiet , awe - struck babes]_{6854-their quiet , awe - struck babes} . And not only these were there -- but [others]_368-others -- equally unaccustomed to nonconformist worship : [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} , for instance , to whom [Sally]_148-sally acted as [chaperone]_{6856-chaperone} ; for [he]_{275-mr davis} sat in [[the minister]_{1835-the minister} 's pew]_{6858-the minister 's pew} , as [a stranger]_{2130-a stranger} ; and , as [she]_148-sally afterwards said , [she]_148-sally had a fellow - feeling with [him]_{275-mr davis} , being [a Church - woman]_{6860-a church - woman} [herself]_148-sally , and [Dissenters]_{5003-dissenters} had such awkward ways ; however , [she]_148-sally had been [there]_332-there before , so [she]_148-sally could set [him]_{275-mr davis} to rights about [their]_6863-their fashions . From the pulpit , [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} saw [one and all]_{6864-one and all} -- [the well - filled [Bradshaw]_{151-mrs bradshaw} pew]_{6865-the well - filled bradshaw pew} -- all in deep mourning , [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} conspicuously so ( [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} would have attended the funeral gladly if [they]_6866-they would have asked [him)--the]_{6867-him)--the} [Farquhars]_{216-mr farquhars} -- [the many strangers]_{6868-the many strangers} -- the still more numerous poor -- one or two wild - looking outcasts , who stood afar off , but wept silently and continually . [Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's heart grew very full . [His]_{143-mr benson} voice trembled as [he]_{143-mr benson} read and prayed . But [he]_{143-mr benson} steadied it as [he]_{143-mr benson} opened [his]_{143-mr benson} sermon -- [his]_{143-mr benson} great , last effort in [her]_148-sally honour -- the labour that [he]_{143-mr benson} had prayed [God]_104-leonard to bless to the hearts of [many]_652-many . For an instant [the old man]_{879-the old man} looked on all the upturned faces , listening , with wet eyes , to hear what [he]_{143-mr benson} could say to interpret that which was in [their]_6866-they hearts , dumb and unshaped , of [God]_104-leonard 's doings as shown in [her]_148-sally life . [He]_{143-mr benson} looked , and , as [he]_{143-mr benson} gazed , a mist came before [him]_{143-mr benson} , and [he]_{143-mr benson} could not see [his]_{143-mr benson} sermon , nor [[his]_{143-mr benson} hearers]_{6871-his hearers} , but only [Ruth]_81-ruth , as [she]_81-ruth had been -- stricken low , and crouching from sight , in [the upland field]_{6872-the upland field} by [Llan - dhu]_{31-llan - dhu} -- like a woeful , hunted creature . And now [her]_81-ruth life was over ! [her]_81-ruth struggle ended ! Sermon and all was forgotten . [He]_{143-mr benson} sat down , and hid [his]_{143-mr benson} face in [his]_{143-mr benson} hands for a minute or so . Then [he]_{143-mr benson} arose , pale and serene . [He]_{143-mr benson} put the sermon away , and opened the Bible , and read the seventh chapter of Revelations , beginning at the ninth verse . Before it was finished , [most of [[his]_{143-mr benson} hearers]_{6871-his hearers}]_{6873-most of his hearers} were in tears . It came home to [them]_{6873-most of his hearers} as more appropriate than any sermon could have been . Even [Sally]_148-sally , though full of anxiety as to what [[her]_148-sally fellow - Churchman]_{6875-her fellow - churchman} would think of such proceedings , let the sobs come freely as [she]_148-sally heard the words : And [he]_{143-mr benson} said to [me]_4107-me , These are they which came out of great tribulation , and have washed [their]_{6873-most of his hearers} robes , and made them white in the blood of [the Lamb]_{6876-the lamb} . Therefore are [they]_{6873-most of his hearers} before the throne of [God]_104-leonard , and serve [him]_{143-mr benson} day and night in [[his]_{143-mr benson} temple]_{6877-his temple} ; and [he]_{143-mr benson} that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among [them]_{6873-most of his hearers} . [They]_{6873-most of his hearers} shall hunger no more , neither thirst any more ; neither shall the sun light on [them]_{6873-most of his hearers} , nor any heat . For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed [them]_{6873-most of his hearers} , and shall lead [them]_{6873-most of his hearers} unto living fountains of waters , and [God]_104-leonard shall wipe away all tears from [their]_{6873-most of his hearers} eyes . "_[4107-me] [He]_4107-me preaches sermons sometimes , " said [Sally]_148-sally , nudging [Mr Davis]_{275-mr davis} , as [they]_4108-they rose from [their]_4108-they knees at last . "_[4107-me] [I]_0-i make no doubt there was as grand a sermon in yon paper - book as ever [we]_4108-they hear in [church]_4207-church . [I]_0-i 've heard [him]_4107-me pray uncommon fine -- quite beyond any but [learned folk]_{4110-learned folk} . " [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} had been anxious to do something to testify [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} respect for [the woman]_{5598-the woman} , who , if all had entertained [his]_{149-mr bradshaw} opinions , would have been driven into hopeless sin . Accordingly , [he]_{149-mr bradshaw} ordered [the first stonemason of [the town]_{396-the town}]_{6879-the first stonemason of the town} to meet [him]_{149-mr bradshaw} in [the chapel - yard]_{1924-the chapel - yard} on Monday morning , to take measurement and receive directions for a tombstone . [They]_4108-they threaded [their]_4108-they way among the grassy heaps to where [Ruth]_81-ruth was buried , in the south corner , beneath [the great Wych - elm]_{6882-the great wych - elm} . When [they]_4108-they got there , [Leonard]_104-leonard raised [himself]_104-leonard up from the new - stirred turf . [His]_104-leonard face was swollen with weeping ; but when [he]_104-leonard saw [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} [he]_104-leonard calmed [himself]_104-leonard , and checked [his]_104-leonard sobs , and , as an explanation of being where [he]_104-leonard was when thus surprised , [he]_104-leonard could find nothing to say but the simple words : "_[4107-me] [[My]_0-i mother]_{4247-my mother} is dead , [sir]_4181-sir . " [His]_104-leonard eyes sought those of [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} with a wild look of agony , as if to find comfort for that great loss in human sympathy ; and at the first word -- the first touch of [Mr Bradshaw]_{149-mr bradshaw} 's hand on [his]_104-leonard shoulder -- [he]_104-leonard burst out afresh . "_[4107-me] Come , come ! [[my]_0-i boy!--Mr [Francis]_287-francis]_{4113-my boy!--mr francis} , [I]_0-i will see [you]_287-francis about this to - morrow -- [I]_0-i will call at [your]_287-francis house.--Let [me]_0-i take [you]_287-francis [home]_4124-home , [[my]_0-i poor fellow]_{4115-my poor fellow} . Come , [[my]_0-i lad]_{5207-my lad} , come ! " The first time , for years , that [he]_4181-sir had entered [[Mr Benson]_{143-mr benson} 's house]_{1693-mr benson 's house} , [he]_4181-sir came leading and comforting [[her]_4118-her son]_{990-her son} -- and , for a moment , [he]_4181-sir could not speak to [[his]_4181-sir old friend]_{4120-his old friend} , for the sympathy which choked up [his]_4181-sir voice , and filled [his]_4181-sir eyes with tears . * * *