Named characters

5578 Ruth (1026)/Ruth Hilton (10)/Ruthie (6)/Poor Ruth (6)/poor Ruth (3)/Hilton (2)/Dearest Ruth (1)/the trembling , guilty Ruth (1)/DEAREST THURSTAN,--Your (1)/Ruth durst (1)/Ruth Macartney (1)/this Ruth Hilton (1)/wan Ruth (1)/dear Ruth (1)/Dear Ruth (1)
1934 Mr Benson (333)/Miss Benson (253)/Benson (12)/Mr and Miss Benson (8)/Mr or Miss Benson (1)
1480 Jemima (332)/Dear Jemima (3)/Jemima Bradshaw (2)/Poor Jemima (2)/Miss Jemima (1)/perverse , miserable Jemima (1)/dear Jemima (1)/the Jemima Bradshaw (1)
1178 Mr Bradshaw (286)/Richard (41)/Mr Richard (6)/Richard Bradshaw (4)/Master Richard (2)/Bradshaw (2)/Mr Richard Bradshaw (2)/young Richard Bradshaw (1)/_ pro _ Bradshaw (1)/The Bradshaw (1)
1082 [NARRATOR]
1057 Leonard (248)/God (156)/little Leonard (5)/Leonard God (1)/the convalescent Leonard (1)/So Leonard (1)
1017 Sally (201)/Even Sally (1)/poor old Sally (1)
745 Mr Farquhar (196)/Farquhar (15)/Mr Farquhar , who was awaiting her (1)
450 Mr Bellingham (87)/Bellingham (2)/This Mr Bellingham (1)/Nurse Mr Bellingham (1)
375 Mr Donne (109)/Donne (4)/this Mr Donne (1)/the present Mr Donne (1)/the Mr Donne (1)
260 Mrs Mason (75)/Mason (1)
237 Mrs Bradshaw (58)/Miss Bradshaw (18)/Mrs and Miss Bradshaw (1)/Bradshaw (1)
210 Mrs Denbigh (87)/dear Mrs Denbigh (4)/Dear Mrs Denbigh (1)/pretty Mrs Denbigh (1)
122 Mrs Bellingham (33)/that Mrs Bellingham of the Priory , for whom we made the grey satin pelisse (1)
116 Elizabeth (60)/Betsy (3)/Lizzie (3)/the more conscientious Elizabeth (1)/old Betty (1)
105 Jenny (34)/Jenny Morgan (2)
97 Thurstan (24)/Master Thurstan (23)
95 Mrs Hughes (22)/The Storm - Spirit Subdued Mrs Hughes (1)/the tender Mrs Hughes (1)/good Mrs Hughes (1)
88 Miss Faith (20)/Faith (9)
84 Mary (49)/the Magdalen (1)/the quick - witted Mary (1)/Polly (1)/Mary Magdalen (1)
84 Mr Hickson (23)/Hickson (3)/a Mr Hickson (1)/the truant Mr Hickson (1)
83 Mr Davis (33)/dear Mr Davis (1)
73 Thurstan (19)/THURSTAN BENSON (2)/dear Thurstan (1)/Thurstan Benson (1)
70 Mrs Morgan (36)/Morgan (1)
61 Dick (25)/Dick Bradshaw (3)
56 Jerry Dixon (3)/Jerry (2)/Jeremiah Dixon (1)/Jeremiah (1)
43 Mr Jones (13)/honest Mr Jones (1)
43 Master Dixon (4)/Dixon (1)
39 Tom (6)/Thomas Wilkins (3)/little Tom (2)/old Thomas (2)/Thomas (1)
33 Mr Watson (8)/Watson (3)
27 Mimie (8)
26 Henry (4)/dear Henry (1)/Philip Henry (1)
24 the Bensons (16)
22 Faith (14)/Faith Benson (1)/Dear Faith (1)/FAITH BENSON (1)
21 Miss Hilton (11)
21 Walter (11)/Walter Farquhar (1)
20 Mamma (7)/mamma (3)
18 Leonard (3)/Master Leonard (1)
17 Mrs Pearson (11)/Pearson (1)/the discomfited Mrs Pearson (1)
16 Mr Cranworth (6)/Mr Ralph Cranworth (1)
16 Mrs Farquhar (7)
15 Jemima (5)/Brown (1)/Jem Brown (1)
15 Mother (6)
15 MARGARET BELLINGHAM (1)
15 Papa (8)/papa (4)
14 Mr Grey (3)
13 Miss Wood (3)
13 Mr Hilton (1)
12 John Rawson (3)
10 Tom (3)/Tom Jackson (1)
10 the Bradshaws (7)
10 Aunt Faith (5)/Faith (1)
9 Miss Duncombe (7)
9 Mrs Hilton (5)/the late Mrs Hilton (1)
9 Harry (2)/John Harrison (1)
9 Eccleston (5)/Kings of Eccleston (1)
8 Stephen Bromley (2)
7 Mr Wynne (3)
7 Mr Dennison (2)/Dennison (2)
6 Fanny Barton (2)
6 Mrs Wood (2)
6 MADAM,--I (1)
6 Christ (4)/Jesus Christ (1)/Jesus (1)
6 the Cranworths (4)
6 Rosa (3)
5 Old Thomas (2)/Thomas (2)/Dear old Thomas (1)
5 Simpson (4)
5 Little Leonard (1)
5 Co. (2)
5 Eagle (5)
5 Sir Thomas Campbell (2)/Some Sir Thomas Campbell (1)
5 Father (3)
4 Miss Hilton,"--"Ruthie (1)
4 old Nelly Brownson (1)/Nelly Brownson (1)
4 Ben (3)
4 Queen Eleanor (1)
4 Mr Harding (2)
4 Mr Pilson (2)
4 Leonard's (1)
4 Helmsby (4)
4 Mary (2)/Ann Fleming (1)/Ann (1)
4 old Mrs Cranmer (1)/Mrs Cranmer (1)/old Cranmer (1)
4 Francis (1)
3 Gwen (2)
3 Barbary Allen (1)/Barbary (1)/cruel Barbary Allen (1)
3 Mr Farquhars (1)/the Farquhars (1)/Farquhars (1)
3 Leonard-- (3)
2 The Astleys (1)/the Astleys (1)
2 the Dunstans (2)
2 George (1)/the George Smiths (1)
2 Miss Sutton (2)
2 Monnoyer (1)
2 Smith (1)/Mr Smith (1)
2 Sunday (2)
2 Hush (2)
2 Johnson (2)
2 Nest (2)
2 William Wynn (2)
2 poor old Maggie (1)
2 Matthew (1)/St Matthew (1)
2 Jemmy Gray (2)
2 Mr Denbigh (2)
2 Keren - Happuch (1)/a Keren - Happuch (1)
2 missus (1)
2 John Jackson (1)
2 King Solomon (2)
2 King Rehoboam (2)
2 Mimie-- (2)
2 the Millses (1)
2 a Miss Campbell (1)
2 Dunnot (2)
2 Mr Farquhar's (1)
2 Hector O'Brien (2)
2 the Dead (2)

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

4 St Nicholas '/St Nicholas
4 Milham Grange
2 Pen trĂȘ Voelas
2 Scaurside Wood/pleasant Scaurside Wood
2 the Eagle 's Crag pew/Eagle 's Crag
1 St Saviour 's
1 Nelly Brownson 's
1 the Fordham Penitentiary
1 Scaurside Farm
1 High Street

113 home/Home
89 the house/The house/the House
81 the room/The room
36 there/There
33 here/Here
27 upstairs/Upstairs
26 church/Church
23 the kitchen
19 the parlour
19 the garden/The garden

GPE

41 Eccleston
22 London
18 Abermouth
14 Wales
7 Fordham
5 England
4 Llan - dhu
4 Cranworth
4 Glasgow
3 Milham

32 the town
8 the place
7 the county
7 there
7 town
4 the village
2 the county - town
2 the hamlet
2 this place
2 the country

LOC

3 the Continent
2 the Leasowes
2 Llan - dhu
1 Cwm Dhu
1 Earth
1 the Sands
1 the Deep

57 the world/The world
8 the earth/The earth
6 the country
6 the stream
6 the hills
6 earth
6 the sands/The sands
5 the river/The river
5 the sea/The sea
5 the hill/The hill

PER

1062 Ruth/Ruth Hilton/Ruthie/Poor Ruth/poor Ruth/Hilton/Dearest Ruth/the trembling , guilty Ruth/DEAREST THURSTAN,--Your/Ruth durst/Ruth Macartney/this Ruth Hilton/wan Ruth/dear Ruth/Dear Ruth
607 Mr Benson/Miss Benson/Benson/Mr and Miss Benson/Mr or Miss Benson
412 Leonard/God/little Leonard/Leonard God/the convalescent Leonard/So Leonard
346 Mr Bradshaw/Richard/Mr Richard/Richard Bradshaw/Master Richard/Bradshaw/Mr Richard Bradshaw/young Richard Bradshaw/_ pro _ Bradshaw/The Bradshaw
343 Jemima/Dear Jemima/Jemima Bradshaw/Poor Jemima/Miss Jemima/perverse , miserable Jemima/dear Jemima/the Jemima Bradshaw
212 Mr Farquhar/Farquhar/Mr Farquhar , who was awaiting her
203 Sally/Even Sally/poor old Sally
116 Mr Donne/Donne/this Mr Donne/the present Mr Donne/the Mr Donne
93 Mrs Denbigh/dear Mrs Denbigh/Dear Mrs Denbigh/pretty Mrs Denbigh
91 Mr Bellingham/Bellingham/This Mr Bellingham/Nurse Mr Bellingham

104 sir/Sir
67 her father/Her father
57 his mother/His mother
55 her brother/Her brother
46 his sister/His sister
43 her child/Her child
38 her mother/Her mother
37 ma'am
36 papa
31 my dear/My dear

ORG

1 Banks

6 the Insurance Company
4 the firm
3 the Insurance Office
2 the Establishment
2 the Star Insurance Company
1 my agency
1 the army of Christ
1 your firm
1 that confounded Insurance Company
1 any company

VEH

12 the carriage
10 the coach/The coach
2 a carriage/A carriage
2 the car
2 the Dover coach/The Dover coach
1 their own sedans
1 The broad unwieldy carriages
1 his carriage
1 any pleasure - boats that could float on
1 his boat

Text

CHAPTER I [[The Dressmaker]288-the dressmaker 's Apprentice at Work]289-the dressmaker 's apprentice at work There is [an assize - town in [one of the eastern counties]291-one of the eastern counties which was much distinguished by [the Tudor sovereigns]292-the tudor sovereigns , and , in consequence of [their]292-the tudor sovereigns favour and protection]290-an assize - town in one of the eastern counties which was much distinguished by the tudor sovereigns , and , in consequence of their favour and protection , attained a degree of importance that surprises [the modern traveller]293-the modern traveller . A hundred years ago [its]290-an assize - town in one of the eastern counties which was much distinguished by the tudor sovereigns , and , in consequence of their favour and protection appearance was that of picturesque grandeur . [The old houses]294-the old houses , which were the temporary residences of such of [the county]295-the county - families as contented [themselves]294-the old houses with the gaieties of [a provincial town]296-a provincial town , crowded [the streets]297-the streets and gave [them]297-the streets the irregular but noble appearance yet to be seen in [the cities of [Belgium]1-belgium]298-the cities of belgium . The sides of [the streets]297-the streets had a quaint richness , from the effect of the gables , and the stacks of chimneys which cut against the blue sky above ; while , if the eye fell lower down , the attention was arrested by all kinds of projections in the shape of [balcony]300-balcony and oriel ; and it was amusing to see the infinite variety of windows that had been crammed into the walls long before [Mr Pitt]72-mr pitt 's days of taxation . [The streets below]301-the streets below suffered from all these projections and advanced stories above ; [they]301-the streets below were dark , and ill - paved with large , round , jolting pebbles , and with no side - path protected by kerb - stones ; there were no lamp - posts for long winter nights ; and no regard was paid to the wants of [the middle class]302-the middle class , who neither drove about in coaches of [their]302-the middle class own , nor were carried by [[their]302-the middle class own men]303-their own men in [[their]302-the middle class own sedans]304-their own sedans into [the very halls of [[their]302-the middle class friends]306-their friends]305-the very halls of their friends . [The professional men]307-the professional men and [[their]307-the professional men wives]308-their wives , [the shopkeepers]309-the shopkeepers and [[their]307-the professional men spouses]310-their spouses , and [all such people]311-all such people , walked about at considerable peril both night and day . [The broad unwieldy carriages]312-the broad unwieldy carriages hemmed [them]312-the broad unwieldy carriages up against [the houses]313-the houses in [the narrow streets]314-the narrow streets . [The inhospitable houses]315-the inhospitable houses projected [their]315-the inhospitable houses flights of steps almost into the carriage - way , forcing [pedestrians]316-pedestrians again into the danger [they]316-pedestrians had avoided for twenty or thirty paces . Then , at night , the only light was derived from the glaring , flaring oil - lamps hung above the doors of [the more aristocratic mansions]317-the more aristocratic mansions ; just allowing space for [the passers - by]318-the passers - by to become visible , before [they]316-pedestrians again disappeared into the darkness , where it was no uncommon thing for [robbers]319-robbers to be in waiting for [[their]319-robbers prey]320-their prey . The traditions of those bygone times , even to the smallest social particular , enable [one]321-one to understand more clearly the circumstances which contributed to the formation of character . The daily life into which [people]322-people are born , and into which [they]322-people are absorbed before [they]322-people are well aware , forms chains which only [one in a hundred]323-one in a hundred has moral strength enough to despise , and to break when the right time comes -- when an inward necessity for independent individual action arises , which is superior to all outward conventionalities . Therefore it is well to know what were the chains of daily domestic habit which were the natural leading - strings of [[our]324-our forefathers]325-our forefathers before [they]325-our forefathers learnt to go alone . The picturesqueness of [those ancient streets]326-those ancient streets has departed now . [The Astleys]73-the astleys , [the Dunstans]74-the dunstans , the [Waverhams]2-waverhams -- names of power in [that district]327-that district -- go up duly to [London]3-london in the season , and have sold [[their]325-our forefathers residences in [the county - town]329-the county - town]328-their residences in the county - town fifty years ago , or more . And when [the county - town]329-the county - town lost [its]329-the county - town attraction for [the Astleys]73-the astleys , [the Dunstans]74-the dunstans , [the Waverhams]2-waverhams , how could it be supposed that [the Domvilles]76-the domvilles , [the Bextons]77-the bextons , and [the Wildes]331-the wildes would continue to go and winter [there]332-there in [[their]325-our forefathers second - rate houses]333-their second - rate houses , and with [their]325-our forefathers increased expenditure ? So [the grand old houses]334-the grand old houses stood empty awhile ; and then [speculators]335-speculators ventured to purchase , and to turn [the deserted mansions]336-the deserted mansions into [many smaller dwellings]337-many smaller dwellings , fitted for [professional men]338-professional men , or even ( bend [your]339-your ear lower , lest the shade of [Marmaduke]78-marmaduke , [first Baron Waverham]79-first baron waverham , hear ) into [shops]340-shops ! Even that was not so very bad , compared with the next innovation on the old glories . [The shopkeepers]309-the shopkeepers found out that [the once fashionable street]342-the once fashionable street was dark , and that the dingy light did not show off [their]309-the shopkeepers goods to advantage ; [the surgeon]343-the surgeon could not see to draw [[his]343-the surgeon patient]344-his patient 's teeth ; [the lawyer]345-the lawyer had to ring for candles an hour earlier than [he]345-the lawyer was accustomed to do when living in [a more plebeian street]346-a more plebeian street . In short , by mutual consent , the whole front of one side of [the street]347-the street was pulled down , and rebuilt in the flat , mean , unrelieved style of [George]80-george [the Third]348-the third . The body of [the houses]313-the houses was too solidly grand to submit to alteration ; so [people]322-people were occasionally surprised , after passing through [a commonplace - looking shop]351-a commonplace - looking shop , to find [themselves]322-people at the foot of [a grand carved oaken staircase , lighted by a window of stained glass , storied all over with armorial bearings]352-a grand carved oaken staircase , lighted by a window of stained glass , storied all over with armorial bearings . Up [such a stair]353-such a stair -- past such a window ( through which the moonlight fell on [her]354-her with a glory of many colours)--Ruth [Hilton]81-ruth passed wearily one January night , now many years ago . [I]0-i call it night ; but , strictly speaking , it was morning . Two o'clock in the morning chimed forth the old bells of [St Saviour 's]4-st saviour 's . And yet [more than a dozen girls]355-more than a dozen girls still sat in [the room into which [Ruth]81-ruth entered]356-the room into which ruth entered , stitching away as if for very life , not daring to gape , or show any outward manifestation of sleepiness . [They]355-more than a dozen girls only sighed a little when [Ruth]81-ruth told [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason the hour of the night , as the result of [her]81-ruth errand ; for [they]355-more than a dozen girls knew that , stay up as late as [they]355-more than a dozen girls might , the work - hours of the next day must begin at eight , and [their]355-more than a dozen girls young limbs were very weary . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason worked away as hard as any of [them]355-more than a dozen girls ; but [she]82-mrs mason was older and tougher ; and , besides , the gains were [hers]82-mrs mason . But even [she]82-mrs mason perceived that some rest was needed . " [Young ladies]4121-young ladies ! there will be an interval allowed of half an hour . Ring the bell , [Miss Sutton]83-miss sutton . [Martha]84-martha shall bring [you]4121-young ladies up some bread and cheese and beer . [You]4121-young ladies will be so good as to eat it standing -- away from the dresses -- and to have [your]4121-young ladies hands washed ready for work when [I]82-mrs mason return . In half an hour , "[82-mrs mason] said [she]82-mrs mason once more , very distinctly ; and then [she]82-mrs mason left [the room]357-the room . It was curious to watch [the young girls]358-the young girls as [they]358-the young girls instantaneously availed [themselves]358-the young girls of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's absence . [One fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel]359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel laid [her]359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel head on [her]359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel folded arms and was asleep in a moment ; refusing to be wakened for [her]359-one fat , particularly heavy - looking damsel share in the frugal supper , but springing up with a frightened look at the sound of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's returning footstep , even while it was still far off on the echoing stairs . [Two or three others]360-two or three others huddled over the scanty fireplace , which , with every possible economy of space , and no attempt whatever at anything of grace or ornament , was inserted in the slight , flat - looking wall , that had been run up by [the present owner of [the property]362-the property]361-the present owner of the property to portion off this division of [the grand old drawing - room of [the mansion]364-the mansion]363-the grand old drawing - room of the mansion . [Some]365-some employed the time in eating [their]365-some bread and cheese , with as measured and incessant a motion of the jaws ( and almost as stupidly placid an expression of countenance ) , as [you]366-you may see in cows ruminating in the first meadow [you]366-you happen to pass . [Some]365-some held up admiringly the beautiful ball - dress in progress , while [others]368-others examined the effect , backing from the object to be criticised in the true artistic manner . [Others]368-others stretched [themselves]368-others into all sorts of postures to relieve the weary muscles ; [one or two]370-one or two gave vent to all the yawns , coughs , and sneezes that had been pent up so long in the presence of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason . But [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth sprang to the large old window , and pressed against it as a bird presses against the bars of its cage . [She]81-ruth put back the blind , and gazed into the quiet moonlight night . It was doubly light -- almost as much so as day -- for everything was covered with the deep snow which had been falling silently ever since the evening before . The window was in a square recess ; the old strange little panes of glass had been replaced by those which gave more light . A little distance off , the feathery branches of a larch waved softly to and fro in the scarcely perceptible night - breeze . Poor old larch ! the time had been when it had stood in [a pleasant lawn]371-a pleasant lawn , with the tender grass creeping caressingly up to its very trunk ; but now [the lawn]372-the lawn was divided into [yards]373-yards and squalid back premises , and the larch was pent up and girded about with flag - stones . The snow lay thick on its boughs , and now and then fell noiselessly down . [The old stables]374-the old stables had been added to , and altered into [a dismal street of [mean - looking houses]376-mean - looking houses , back to back with [the ancient mansions]377-the ancient mansions]375-a dismal street of mean - looking houses , back to back with the ancient mansions . And over all these changes from grandeur to squalor , bent down the purple heavens with their unchanging splendour ! [Ruth]81-ruth pressed [her]81-ruth hot forehead against the cold glass , and strained [her]81-ruth aching eyes in gazing out on the lovely sky of a winter 's night . The impulse was strong upon [her]81-ruth to snatch up a shawl , and wrapping it round [her]81-ruth head , to sally forth and enjoy the glory ; and time was when that impulse would have been instantly followed ; but now , [Ruth]81-ruth 's eyes filled with tears , and [she]81-ruth stood quite still , dreaming of the days that were gone . [Some one]378-some one touched [her]81-ruth shoulder while [her]81-ruth thoughts were far away , remembering past January nights , which had resembled this , and were yet so different . " [Ruth]81-ruth , [love]4122-love , "[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing] whispered [a girl who had unwillingly distinguished [herself]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing by a long hard fit of coughing]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing , " come and have some supper . [You]81-ruth do n't know yet how it helps [one]321-one through the night . "[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing] " One run -- one blow of the fresh air would do [me]81-ruth more good , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " Not such a night as this , "[380-the other] replied [the other]380-the other , shivering at the very thought . " And why not such a night as this , [Jenny]85-jenny ? "[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]81-ruth . " Oh ! at [home]4124-home [I]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing have many a time run up [the lane]4125-the lane all the way to [the mill]4126-the mill , just to see the icicles hang on the great wheel ; and when [I]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing was once out , [I]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing could hardly find in [my]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing heart to come in , even to [mother]4127-mother , sitting by the fire;--even to [mother]4127-mother , "[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing] [she]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing added , in a low , melancholy tone , which had something of inexpressible sadness in it . " Why , [Jenny]85-jenny ! "[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing] said [she]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing , rousing [herself]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing , but not before [her]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing eyes were swimming with tears , " own , now , that [you]85-jenny never saw [those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there]4129-those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there look half so -- what shall [I]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing call [them]4129-those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there ? almost beautiful -- as they do now , with that soft , pure , exquisite covering ; and if [they]4129-those dismal , hateful , tumble - down old houses there are so improved , think of what trees , and grass , and ivy must be on such a night as this . "[379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing] [Jenny]85-jenny could not be persuaded into admiring the winter 's night , which to [her]85-jenny came only as a cold and dismal time , when [her]85-jenny cough was more troublesome , and the pain in [her]85-jenny side worse than usual . But [she]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing put [her]379-a girl who had unwillingly distinguished herself by a long hard fit of coughing arm round [Ruth]81-ruth 's neck , and stood by [her]81-ruth , glad that [the orphan apprentice]381-the orphan apprentice , who was not yet inured to the hardship of [[a dressmaker]382-a dressmaker 's workroom]383-a dressmaker 's workroom , should find so much to give [her]85-jenny pleasure in such a common occurrence as a frosty night . [They]384-they remained deep in separate trains of thought till [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's step was heard , when each returned , supperless but refreshed , to [her]85-jenny seat . [[Ruth]81-ruth 's place]385-ruth 's place was the coldest and the darkest in [the room]357-the room , although [she]81-ruth liked [it]385-ruth 's place the best ; [she]81-ruth had instinctively chosen [it]385-ruth 's place for the sake of the wall opposite to [her]81-ruth , on which was a remnant of the beauty of [the old drawing - room]387-the old drawing - room , which must once have been magnificent , to judge from the faded specimen left . It was divided into panels of pale sea - green , picked out with white and gold ; and on these panels were painted -- were thrown with the careless , triumphant hand of [a master]388-a master -- the most lovely wreaths of flowers , profuse and luxuriant beyond description , and so real - looking , that [you]389-you could almost fancy [you]389-you smelt their fragrance , and heard the south wind go softly rustling in and out among the crimson roses -- the branches of purple and white lilac -- the floating golden - tressed laburnum boughs . Besides these , there were stately white lilies , sacred to the Virgin -- hollyhocks , fraxinella , monk's - hood , pansies , primroses ; every flower which blooms profusely in [charming old - fashioned country gardens]390-charming old - fashioned country gardens was there , depicted among its graceful foliage , but not in the wild disorder in which [I]0-i have enumerated them . At the bottom of the panel lay a holly - branch , whose stiff straightness was ornamented by a twining drapery of English ivy and mistletoe and winter aconite ; while down either side hung pendant garlands of spring and autumn flowers ; and , crowning all , came gorgeous summer with the sweet musk - roses , and the rich - coloured flowers of June and July . Surely [Monnoyer]86-monnoyer , or whoever [the dead and gone artist]391-the dead and gone artist might be , would have been gratified to know the pleasure [his]86-monnoyer handiwork , even in its wane , had power to give to the heavy heart of [a young girl]392-a young girl ; for [they]393-they conjured up visions of other sister - flowers that grew , and blossomed , and withered away in [[her]81-ruth early home]394-her early home . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason was particularly desirous that [[her]82-mrs mason workwomen]395-her workwomen should exert [themselves]395-her workwomen to - night , for , on the next , the annual hunt - ball was to take place . It was the one gaiety of [the town]396-the town since the assize - balls had been discontinued . Many were the dresses [she]82-mrs mason had promised should be sent [home]4124-home " without fail "[82-mrs mason] the next morning ; [she]82-mrs mason had not let one slip through [her]82-mrs mason fingers , for fear , if it did , it might fall into the hands of [the rival dressmaker , who had just established [herself]398-the rival dressmaker , who had just established herself in the very same street in [the very same street]399-the very same street]398-the rival dressmaker , who had just established herself in the very same street . [She]82-mrs mason determined to administer a gentle stimulant to [the flagging spirits]400-the flagging spirits , and with a little preliminary cough to attract attention , [she]82-mrs mason began : " [I]82-mrs mason may as well inform [you]4130-you , [young ladies]4121-young ladies , that [I]82-mrs mason have been requested this year , as on previous occasions , to allow [some of [[my]82-mrs mason young people]4133-my young people]4132-some of my young people to attend in [the ante - chamber of [the assembly - room]4135-the assembly - room]4134-the ante - chamber of the assembly - room with sandal ribbon , pins , and such little matters , and to be ready to repair any accidental injury to [the ladies]4136-the ladies ' dresses . [I]82-mrs mason shall send four -- of [the most diligent]4137-the most diligent . "[82-mrs mason] [She]82-mrs mason laid a marked emphasis on the last words , but without much effect ; they were too sleepy to care for any of [the pomps and vanities]401-the pomps and vanities , or , indeed , for any of the comforts of [this world]402-this world , excepting one sole thing -- [their]403-they beds . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason was [a very worthy woman]404-a very worthy woman , but , like [many other worthy women]405-many other worthy women , [she]82-mrs mason had [her]82-mrs mason foibles ; and one ( very natural to [her]82-mrs mason calling ) was to pay an extreme regard to appearances . Accordingly , [she]82-mrs mason had already selected in [her]82-mrs mason own mind the [four girls who were most likely to do credit to the " establishment]4138-four girls who were most likely to do credit to the " establishment ; "[82-mrs mason] and these were secretly determined upon , although it was very well to promise the reward to [the most diligent]4137-the most diligent . [She]82-mrs mason was really not aware of the falseness of this conduct ; being [an adept in that species of sophistry with which [people]322-people persuade [themselves]322-people that what [they]322-people wish to do is right]407-an adept in that species of sophistry with which people persuade themselves that what they wish to do is right . At last there was no resisting the evidence of weariness . [They]403-they were told to go to bed ; but even that welcome command was languidly obeyed . Slowly [they]403-they folded up [their]403-they work , heavily [they]403-they moved about , until at length all was put away , and [they]403-they trooped up [the wide , dark staircase]409-the wide , dark staircase . " Oh ! how shall [I]81-ruth get through five years of these terrible nights ! in [that close room]4139-that close room ! and in that oppressive stillness ! which lets every sound of the thread be heard as it goes eternally backwards and forwards , "[81-ruth] sobbed out [Ruth]81-ruth , as [she]81-ruth threw [herself]81-ruth on [her]81-ruth bed , without even undressing [herself]81-ruth . " Nay , [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth know it wo n't be always as it has been to - night . [We]403-they often get to bed by ten o'clock ; and by - and - by [you]81-ruth wo n't mind the closeness of [the room]357-the room . [You]81-ruth 're worn out to - night , or [you]81-ruth would not have minded the sound of the needle ; [I]85-jenny never hear it . Come , let [me]85-jenny unfasten [you]81-ruth , "[85-jenny] said [Jenny]85-jenny . " What is the use of undressing ? [We]403-they must be up again and at work in three hours . "[85-jenny] " And in those three hours [you]81-ruth may get a great deal of rest , if [you]81-ruth will but undress [yourself]81-ruth and fairly go to bed . Come , love . "[85-jenny] [Jenny]85-jenny 's advice was not resisted ; but before [Ruth]81-ruth went to sleep , [she]81-ruth said : " Oh ! [I]81-ruth wish [I]81-ruth was not so cross and impatient . [I]81-ruth do n't think [I]81-ruth used to be . "[81-ruth] " No , [I]85-jenny am sure not . [Most new girls]4141-most new girls get impatient at first ; but it goes off , and [they]4141-most new girls do n't care much for anything after awhile . [Poor child]4142-poor child ! [she]4142-poor child 's asleep already , "[85-jenny] said [Jenny]85-jenny to [herself]85-jenny . [She]85-jenny could not sleep or rest . The tightness at [her]85-jenny side was worse than usual . [She]85-jenny almost thought [she]85-jenny ought to mention it in [her]85-jenny letters [home]4124-home ; but then [she]85-jenny remembered the premium [[her]85-jenny father]411-her father had struggled hard to pay , and [the large family , younger than [herself]85-jenny]412-the large family , younger than herself , that had to be cared for , and [she]85-jenny determined to bear on , and trust that when the warm weather came both the pain and the cough would go away . [She]85-jenny would be prudent about [herself]85-jenny . What was the matter with [Ruth]81-ruth ? [She]81-ruth was crying in [her]81-ruth sleep as if [her]81-ruth heart would break . Such agitated slumber could be no rest ; so [Jenny]85-jenny wakened [her]81-ruth . " [Ruth]81-ruth ! [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[85-jenny] " Oh , [Jenny]85-jenny ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , sitting up in bed , and pushing back the masses of hair that were heating [her]81-ruth forehead , " [I]81-ruth thought [I]81-ruth saw [mamma]4143-mamma by the side of the bed , coming , as [she]4143-mamma used to do , to see if [I]81-ruth were asleep and comfortable ; and when [I]81-ruth tried to take hold of [her]4143-mamma , [she]4143-mamma went away and left [me]81-ruth alone -- [I]81-ruth do n't know where ; so strange ! "[81-ruth] " It was only a dream ; [you]81-ruth know [you]81-ruth 'd been talking about [her]4143-mamma to [me]85-jenny , and [you]81-ruth 're feverish with sitting up late . Go to sleep again , and [I]85-jenny 'll watch , and waken [you]81-ruth if [you]81-ruth seem uneasy . "[85-jenny] " But [you]81-ruth 'll be so tired . Oh , dear ! dear ! "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth was asleep again , even while [she]81-ruth sighed . Morning came , and though [their]413-their rest had been short , [the girls]414-the girls arose refreshed . " [Miss Sutton]83-miss sutton , [Miss Jennings]87-miss jennings , [Miss Booth]88-miss booth , and [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton , [you]81-ruth will see that [you]81-ruth are ready to accompany [me]415-one or two of the girls to [the shire - hall]4144-the shire - hall by eight o'clock . "[415-one or two of the girls] [One or two of the girls]415-one or two of the girls looked astonished , but [the majority]416-the majority , having anticipated the selection , and knowing from experience the unexpressed rule by which it was made , received it with the sullen indifference which had become [their]413-their feeling with regard to most events -- a deadened sense of life , consequent upon [their]413-their unnatural mode of existence , [their]413-their sedentary days , and [their]413-their frequent nights of late watching . But to [Ruth]81-ruth it was inexplicable . [She]81-ruth had yawned , and loitered , and looked off at the beautiful panel , and lost [herself]81-ruth in thoughts of [home]4124-home , until [she]81-ruth fully expected the reprimand which at any other time [she]81-ruth would have been sure to receive , and now , to [her]81-ruth surprise , [she]81-ruth was singled out as [one of the most diligent]418-one of the most diligent ! Much as [she]81-ruth longed for the delight of seeing [the noble shire - hall]419-the noble shire - hall -- the boast of [the county]295-the county -- and of catching glimpses of [the dancers]421-the dancers , and hearing [the band]422-the band ; much as [she]81-ruth longed for some variety to the dull , monotonous life [she]81-ruth was leading , [she]81-ruth could not feel happy to accept a privilege , granted , as [she]81-ruth believed , in ignorance of the real state of the case ; so [she]81-ruth startled [[her]81-ruth companions]423-her companions by rising abruptly and going up to [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason , who was finishing a dress which ought to have been sent [home]4124-home two hours before : " If [you]82-mrs mason please , [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason , [I]81-ruth was not one of the most diligent ; [I]81-ruth am afraid -- [I]81-ruth believe -- [I]81-ruth was not diligent at all . [I]81-ruth was very tired ; and [I]81-ruth could not help thinking , and when [I]81-ruth think , [I]81-ruth ca n't attend to [my]81-ruth work . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth stopped , believing [she]81-ruth had sufficiently explained [her]81-ruth meaning ; but [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason would not understand , and did not wish for any further elucidation . " Well , [[my]82-mrs mason dear]4145-my dear , [you]4145-my dear must learn to think and work too ; or , if [you]4145-my dear ca n't do both , [you]4145-my dear must leave off thinking . [[Your]4145-my dear guardian]4146-your guardian , [you]4145-my dear know , expects [you]4145-my dear to make great progress in [your]4145-my dear business , and [I]82-mrs mason am sure [you]4145-my dear wo n't disappoint [him]4146-your guardian . "[82-mrs mason] But that was not to the point . [Ruth]81-ruth stood still an instant , although [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason resumed [her]82-mrs mason employment in a manner which [any one]425-any one but [a " new girl]4147-a " new girl "[82-mrs mason] would have known to be intelligible enough , that [she]82-mrs mason did not wish for any more conversation just then . " But as [I]82-mrs mason was not diligent [I]82-mrs mason ought not to go , [ma'am]4148-ma'am . [Miss Wood]90-miss wood was far more industrious than [I]82-mrs mason , and many of [the others]4149-the others . "[82-mrs mason] " [Tiresome girl]4150-tiresome girl ! "[82-mrs mason] muttered [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason ; " [I]82-mrs mason 've half a mind to keep [her]90-miss wood at [home]4124-home for plaguing [me]82-mrs mason so . "[82-mrs mason] But , looking up , [she]82-mrs mason was struck afresh with the remarkable beauty which [Ruth]81-ruth possessed ; such a credit to [the house]426-the house , with [her]81-ruth waving outline of figure , [her]81-ruth striking face , with dark eyebrows and dark lashes , combined with auburn hair and a fair complexion . No ! diligent or idle , [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth must appear to - night . " [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton , "[82-mrs mason] said [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason , with stiff dignity , " [I]82-mrs mason am not accustomed ( as [these young ladies]4152-these young ladies can tell [you]89-miss hilton ) to have [my]82-mrs mason decisions questioned . What [I]82-mrs mason say , [I]82-mrs mason mean ; and [I]82-mrs mason have [my]82-mrs mason reasons . So sit down , if [you]89-miss hilton please , and take care and be ready by eight . Not a word more , "[82-mrs mason] as [she]82-mrs mason fancied [she]82-mrs mason saw [Ruth]81-ruth again about to speak . " [Jenny]85-jenny ! [you]85-jenny ought to have gone , not [me]81-ruth , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , in no low voice to [Miss Wood]90-miss wood , as [she]90-miss wood sat down by [her]90-miss wood . " Hush ! [Ruth]81-ruth . [I]90-miss wood could not go if [I]90-miss wood might , because of [my]90-miss wood cough . [I]90-miss wood would rather give it up to [you]89-miss hilton than [any one]425-any one , if it were [mine]90-miss wood to give . And suppose it is , and take the pleasure as [my]90-miss wood present , and tell [me]90-miss wood every bit about it when [you]89-miss hilton come [home]4124-home to - night . "[90-miss wood] " Well ! [I]82-mrs mason shall take it in that way , and not as if [I]82-mrs mason 'd earned it , which [I]82-mrs mason have n't . So thank [you]89-miss hilton . [You]89-miss hilton ca n't think how [I]82-mrs mason shall enjoy it now . [I]82-mrs mason did work diligently for five minutes last night , after [I]82-mrs mason heard of it , [I]82-mrs mason wanted to go so much . But [I]82-mrs mason could not keep it up . Oh , [dear]4155-dear ! and [I]82-mrs mason shall really hear a band ! and see the inside of [that beautiful shire - hall]4156-that beautiful shire - hall ! "[82-mrs mason] CHAPTER II [Ruth]81-ruth Goes to [the Shire - Hall]4144-the shire - hall In due time that evening , [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason collected " [[her]82-mrs mason young ladies]4157-her young ladies "[82-mrs mason] for an inspection of [their]428-their appearance before proceeding to [the shire - hall]4144-the shire - hall . [Her]82-mrs mason eager , important , hurried manner of summoning [them]428-their was not unlike that of a hen clucking [her]82-mrs mason chickens together ; and to judge from the close investigation [they]428-their had to undergo , it might have been thought that [their]428-their part in the evening 's performance was to be far more important than that of [temporary ladies'-maids]430-temporary ladies'-maids . " Is that [your]4155-dear best frock , [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton ? "[82-mrs mason] asked [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason , in a half - dissatisfied tone , turning [Ruth]81-ruth about ; for it was only [her]81-ruth Sunday black silk , and was somewhat worn and shabby . " Yes , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , "[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]81-ruth , quietly . " Oh ! indeed . Then it will do "[81-ruth] ( still the half - satisfied tone ) . " Dress , [young ladies]4121-young ladies , [you]4155-dear know , is a very secondary consideration . Conduct is everything . Still , [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton , [I]81-ruth think [you]4155-dear should write and ask [[your]4155-dear guardian]4146-your guardian to send [you]4155-dear money for another gown . [I]81-ruth am sorry [I]81-ruth did not think of it before . "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth do not think [he]4146-your guardian would send any if [I]81-ruth wrote , "[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]81-ruth , in a low voice . " [He]4146-your guardian was angry when [I]81-ruth wanted a shawl , when the cold weather set in . "[81-ruth] [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason gave [her]81-ruth a little push of dismissal , and [Ruth]81-ruth fell into the ranks by [[her]81-ruth friend]431-her friend , [Miss Wood]90-miss wood . " Never mind , [Ruthie]81-ruth ; [you]81-ruth 're prettier than any of [them]4161-them , "[90-miss wood] said [a merry , good - natured girl , whose plainness excluded [her]81-ruth from any of the envy of rivalry]432-a merry , good - natured girl , whose plainness excluded her from any of the envy of rivalry . " Yes ! [I]81-ruth know [I]81-ruth am pretty , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , sadly , " but [I]81-ruth am sorry [I]81-ruth have no better gown , for this is very shabby . [I]81-ruth am ashamed of it [myself]81-ruth , and [I]81-ruth can see [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason is twice as much ashamed . [I]81-ruth wish [I]81-ruth need not go . [I]81-ruth did not know [we]4162-we should have to think about [our]4162-we own dress at all , or [I]81-ruth should not have wished to go . "[81-ruth] " Never mind , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[85-jenny] said [Jenny]85-jenny , " [you]81-ruth 've been looked at now , and [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason will soon be too busy to think about [you]81-ruth and [your]81-ruth gown . "[85-jenny] " Did [you]81-ruth hear [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth say [she]81-ruth knew [she]81-ruth was pretty ? "[433-one girl] whispered [one girl]433-one girl to another , so loudly that [Ruth]81-ruth caught the words . " [I]81-ruth could not help knowing , "[81-ruth] answered [she]81-ruth , simply , " for [many people]4163-many people have told [me]81-ruth so . "[81-ruth] At length these preliminaries were over , and [they]434-they were walking briskly through the frosty air ; the free motion was so inspiriting that [Ruth]81-ruth almost danced along , and quite forgot all about shabby gowns and [grumbling guardians]435-grumbling guardians . [The shire - hall]4144-the shire - hall was even more striking than [she]81-ruth had expected . The sides of [the staircase]437-the staircase were painted with figures that showed ghostly in the dim light , for only [their]434-they faces looked out of the dark , dingy canvas , with a strange fixed stare of expression . [The young milliners]438-the young milliners had to arrange [their]438-the young milliners wares on tables in [the ante - room]439-the ante - room , and make all ready before [they]438-the young milliners could venture to peep into [the ball - room]440-the ball - room , where [the musicians]441-the musicians were already tuning [their]441-the musicians instruments , and where [one or two char - women]442-one or two char - women ( strange contrast ! with [their]442-one or two char - women dirty , loose attire , and [their]442-one or two char - women incessant chatter , to the grand echoes of [the vaulted room]443-the vaulted room ) were completing the dusting of benches and chairs . [They]434-they quitted [the place]444-the place as [Ruth]81-ruth and [[her]81-ruth companions]423-her companions entered . [They]434-they had talked lightly and merrily in [the ante - room]439-the ante - room , but now [their]434-they voices were hushed , awed by the old magnificence of [the vast apartment]447-the vast apartment . It was so large , that objects showed dim at the further end , as through a mist . Full - length figures of county worthies hung around , in all varieties of costume , from the days of [Holbein]91-holbein to the present time . [The lofty roof]448-the lofty roof was indistinct , for the lamps were not fully lighted yet ; while through the richly - painted Gothic window at one end the moonbeams fell , many - tinted , on the floor , and mocked with their vividness the struggles of the artificial light to illuminate its little sphere . High above sounded [the musicians]441-the musicians , fitfully trying some strain of which [they]441-the musicians were not certain . Then [they]441-the musicians stopped playing and talked , and [their]441-the musicians voices sounded goblin - like in [their]441-the musicians dark recess , where candles were carried about in an uncertain wavering manner , reminding [Ruth]81-ruth of the flickering zigzag motion of the will - o'-the - wisp . Suddenly [the room]357-the room sprang into the full blaze of light , and [Ruth]81-ruth felt less impressed with its appearance , and more willing to obey [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's sharp summons to [[her]81-ruth wandering flock]451-her wandering flock , than [she]81-ruth had been when it was dim and mysterious . [They]434-they had presently enough to do in rendering offices of assistance to [the ladies who thronged in , and whose voices drowned all the muffled sound of the band]452-the ladies who thronged in , and whose voices drowned all the muffled sound of the band [Ruth]81-ruth had longed so much to hear . Still , if one pleasure was less , another was greater than [she]81-ruth had anticipated . " On condition "[82-mrs mason] of such a number of little observances that [Ruth]81-ruth thought [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason would never have ended enumerating [them]453-them , [they]434-they were allowed during the dances to stand at a side - door and watch . And what a beautiful sight it was ! Floating away to that bounding music -- now far away , like garlands of fairies , now near , and showing as [lovely women , with every ornament of graceful dress]454-lovely women , with every ornament of graceful dress -- [the elite of [the county]295-the county]455-the elite of the county danced on , [little caring whose eyes gazed and were dazzled]457-little caring whose eyes gazed and were dazzled . Outside all was cold , and colourless , and uniform , one coating of snow over all . But inside it was warm , and glowing , and vivid ; flowers scented the air , and wreathed the head , and rested on the bosom , as if it were midsummer . Bright colours flashed on the eye and were gone , and succeeded by [others as lovely in the rapid movement of the dance]458-others as lovely in the rapid movement of the dance . Smiles dimpled every face , and low tones of happiness murmured indistinctly through [the room]357-the room in every pause of the music . [Ruth]81-ruth did not care to separate the figures that formed a joyous and brilliant whole ; it was enough to gaze , and dream of the happy smoothness of the lives in which such music , and such profusion of flowers , of jewels , elegance of every description , and beauty of all shapes and hues , were everyday things . [She]81-ruth did not want to know who [the people]460-the people were ; although to hear a catalogue of names seemed to be the great delight of most of [[her]81-ruth companions]423-her companions . In fact , the enumeration rather disturbed [her]81-ruth ; and to avoid the shock of too rapid a descent into the commonplace world of [Miss Smiths]92-miss smiths and [Mr Thomsons]93-mr thomsons , [she]81-ruth returned to [her]81-ruth post in [the ante - room]439-the ante - room . There [she]81-ruth stood thinking , or dreaming . [She]81-ruth was startled back to actual life by a voice close to [her]81-ruth . [One of [the dancing young ladies]464-the dancing young ladies]463-one of the dancing young ladies had met with a misfortune . [Her]463-one of the dancing young ladies dress , of some gossamer material , had been looped up by nosegays of flowers , and one of these had fallen off in the dance , leaving [her]463-one of the dancing young ladies gown to trail . To repair this , [she]81-ruth had begged [[her]81-ruth partner]465-her partner to bring [her]81-ruth to [the room where [the assistants]467-the assistants should have been]466-the room where the assistants should have been . [None]468-none were there but [Ruth]81-ruth . " Shall [I]469-the gentleman leave [you]81-ruth ? "[469-the gentleman] asked [the gentleman]469-the gentleman . " Is [my]469-the gentleman absence necessary ? "[469-the gentleman] " Oh , no ! "[470-the lady] replied [the lady]470-the lady . " A few stitches will set all to rights . Besides , [I]470-the lady dare not enter [that room]4164-that room by [myself]470-the lady . "[470-the lady] So far [she]470-the lady spoke sweetly and prettily . But now [she]470-the lady addressed [Ruth]81-ruth . " Make haste . Do n't keep [me]470-the lady an hour . "[470-the lady] And [her]470-the lady voice became cold and authoritative . [She]470-the lady was very pretty , with long dark ringlets and sparkling black eyes . These had struck [Ruth]81-ruth in the hasty glance [she]81-ruth had taken , before [she]81-ruth knelt down to [her]81-ruth task . [She]81-ruth also saw that [the gentleman]469-the gentleman was young and elegant . " Oh , [that lovely galop]4165-that lovely galop ! How [I]81-ruth long to dance to it ! Will it never be done ? What a frightful time [you]469-the gentleman are taking ; and [I]81-ruth 'm dying to return in time for this galop ! "[81-ruth] By way of showing a pretty , childlike impatience , [she]81-ruth began to beat time with [her]81-ruth feet to the spirited air [the band]422-the band was playing . [Ruth]81-ruth could not darn the rent in [her]81-ruth dress with this continual motion , and [she]81-ruth looked up to remonstrate . As [she]81-ruth threw [her]81-ruth head back for this purpose , [she]81-ruth caught the eye of [the gentleman who was standing by]473-the gentleman who was standing by ; it was so expressive of amusement at the airs and graces of [[his]469-the gentleman pretty partner]474-his pretty partner , that [Ruth]81-ruth was infected by the feeling , and had to bend [her]81-ruth face down to conceal the smile that mantled there . But not before [he]469-the gentleman had seen it , and not before [his]469-the gentleman attention had been thereby drawn to consider the kneeling figure , that , habited in black up to the throat , with the noble head bent down to the occupation in which [she]81-ruth was engaged , formed such a contrast to [the flippant , bright , artificial girl who sat to be served with an air as haughty as a queen on [her]81-ruth throne]475-the flippant , bright , artificial girl who sat to be served with an air as haughty as a queen on her throne . " Oh , [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ! [I]94-mr bellingham 'm ashamed to detain [you]94-mr bellingham so long . [I]94-mr bellingham had no idea [any one]425-any one could have spent so much time over a little tear . No wonder [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason charges so much for dress - making , if [her]82-mrs mason work - [women]4167-women are so slow . "[94-mr bellingham] It was meant to be witty , but [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham looked grave . [He]94-mr bellingham saw the scarlet colour of annoyance flush to that beautiful cheek which was partially presented to [him]94-mr bellingham . [He]94-mr bellingham took a candle from the table , and held it so that [Ruth]81-ruth had more light . [She]81-ruth did not look up to thank [him]94-mr bellingham , for [she]81-ruth felt ashamed that [he]94-mr bellingham should have seen the smile which [she]81-ruth had caught from [him]94-mr bellingham . " [I]81-ruth am sorry [I]81-ruth have been so long , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , gently , as [she]81-ruth finished [her]81-ruth work . " [I]81-ruth was afraid it might tear out again if [I]81-ruth did not do it carefully . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth rose . " [I]476-the young lady would rather have had it torn than have missed [that charming galop]4169-that charming galop , "[476-the young lady] said [the young lady]476-the young lady , shaking out [her]476-the young lady dress as a bird shakes its plumage . " Shall [we]4170-we go , [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ? "[476-the young lady] looking up at [him]94-mr bellingham . [He]94-mr bellingham was surprised that [she]476-the young lady gave no word or sign of thanks to [the assistant]477-the assistant . [He]94-mr bellingham took up a camellia that [some one]378-some one had left on the table . " Allow [me]476-the young lady , [Miss Duncombe]95-miss duncombe , to give this in [your]95-miss duncombe name to [this young lady]4171-this young lady , as thanks for [her]4171-this young lady dexterous help . "[476-the young lady] " Oh -- of course , "[476-the young lady] said [she]476-the young lady . [Ruth]81-ruth received the flower silently , but with a grave , modest motion of [her]81-ruth head . [They]479-they had gone , and [she]81-ruth was once more alone . Presently , [[her]81-ruth companions]423-her companions returned . " What was the matter with [Miss Duncombe]95-miss duncombe ? Did [she]4171-this young lady come [here]4172-here ? "[423-her companions] asked [they]423-her companions . " Only [her]4171-this young lady lace dress was torn , and [I]81-ruth mended it , "[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]81-ruth , quietly . " Did [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham come with [her]4171-this young lady ? [They]479-they say [he]94-mr bellingham 's going to be married to [her]4171-this young lady ; did [he]94-mr bellingham come , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] " Yes , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , and relapsed into silence . [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham danced on gaily and merrily through the night , and flirted with [Miss Duncombe]95-miss duncombe , as [he]94-mr bellingham thought good . But [he]94-mr bellingham looked often to the side - door where [[the milliner]481-the milliner 's apprentices]482-the milliner 's apprentices stood ; and once [he]94-mr bellingham recognised [the tall , slight figure]483-the tall , slight figure , and the rich auburn hair of [the girl in black]484-the girl in black ; and then [his]94-mr bellingham eye sought for the camellia . It was there , snowy white in [her]484-the girl in black bosom . And [he]94-mr bellingham danced on more gaily than ever . The cold grey dawn was drearily lighting up [the streets]297-the streets when [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason and [[her]82-mrs mason company]486-her company returned [home]4124-home . The lamps were extinguished , yet the shutters of [the shops]488-the shops and [dwelling - houses]489-dwelling - houses were not opened . All sounds had an echo unheard by day . [One or two houseless beggars]490-one or two houseless beggars sat on doorsteps , and , shivering , slept , with heads bowed on [their]490-one or two houseless beggars knees , or resting against the cold hard support afforded by the wall . [Ruth]81-ruth felt as if a dream had melted away , and [she]81-ruth were once more in the actual world . How long it would be , even in the most favourable chance , before [she]81-ruth should again enter [the shire - hall]4144-the shire - hall ! or hear [a band of music]492-a band of music ! or even see again [those bright , happy people]493-those bright , happy people -- as much without any semblance of care or woe as if [they]493-those bright , happy people belonged to [another race of beings]494-another race of beings . Had [they]493-those bright , happy people ever to deny [themselves]493-those bright , happy people a wish , much less a want ? Literally and figuratively , [their]493-those bright , happy people lives seemed to wander through flowery pleasure - paths . Here was cold , biting mid - winter for [her]81-ruth , and such as [her]81-ruth -- for [those poor beggars]495-those poor beggars almost a season of death ; but to [Miss Duncombe]95-miss duncombe and [[her]95-miss duncombe companions]423-her companions , a happy , merry time , when flowers still bloomed , and fires crackled , and comforts and luxuries were piled around [them]493-those bright , happy people like fairy gifts . What did [they]493-those bright , happy people know of the meaning of the word , so terrific to [the poor]497-the poor ? What was winter to [them]493-those bright , happy people ? But [Ruth]81-ruth fancied that [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham looked as if [he]94-mr bellingham could understand the feelings of those removed from [him]94-mr bellingham by circumstance and station . [He]94-mr bellingham had drawn up the windows of [[his]94-mr bellingham carriage]498-his carriage , it is true , with a shudder . [Ruth]81-ruth , then , had been watching [him]94-mr bellingham . Yet [she]81-ruth had no idea that any association made [her]81-ruth camellia precious to [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth believed it was solely on account of its exquisite beauty that [she]81-ruth tended it so carefully . [She]81-ruth told [Jenny]85-jenny every particular of its presentation , with open , straight - looking eye , and without the deepening of a shade of colour . " Was it not kind of [him]94-mr bellingham ? [You]85-jenny ca n't think how nicely [he]94-mr bellingham did it , just when [I]81-ruth was a little bit mortified by [her]81-ruth ungracious ways . "[81-ruth] " It was very nice , indeed , "[85-jenny] replied [Jenny]85-jenny . " Such a beautiful flower ! [I]85-jenny wish it had some scent . "[85-jenny] " [I]81-ruth wish it to be exactly as it is ; it is perfect . So pure ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , almost clasping [her]81-ruth treasure as [she]81-ruth placed it in water . " Who is [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ? "[81-ruth] " [He]94-mr bellingham is son to [that Mrs Bellingham of [the Priory]4173-the priory , for whom [we]4174-we made the grey satin pelisse]96-mrs bellingham , "[85-jenny] answered [Jenny]85-jenny , sleepily . " That was before [my]81-ruth time , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . But there was no answer . [Jenny]85-jenny was asleep . It was long before [Ruth]81-ruth followed [her]85-jenny example . Even on a winter day , it was clear morning light that fell upon [her]81-ruth face as [she]81-ruth smiled in [her]81-ruth slumber . [Jenny]85-jenny would not waken [her]81-ruth , but watched [her]81-ruth face with admiration ; it was so lovely in its happiness . " [She]85-jenny is dreaming of last night , "[85-jenny] thought [Jenny]85-jenny . It was true [she]85-jenny was ; but [one figure]499-one figure flitted more than all the rest through [her]85-jenny visions . [He]499-one figure presented flower after flower to [her]85-jenny in that baseless morning dream , which was all too quickly ended . The night before , [she]85-jenny had seen [[her]85-jenny dead mother]500-her dead mother in [her]500-her dead mother sleep , and [she]85-jenny wakened , weeping . And now [she]85-jenny dreamed of [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , and smiled . And yet , was this a more evil dream than the other ? The realities of life seemed to cut more sharply against [her]85-jenny heart than usual that morning . The late hours of the preceding nights , and perhaps the excitement of the evening before , had indisposed [her]85-jenny to bear calmly the rubs and crosses which beset [all [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's young ladies]501-all mrs mason 's young ladies at times . For [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason , though [the first dressmaker in [the county]295-the county]502-the first dressmaker in the county , was human after all ; and suffered , like [[her]82-mrs mason apprentices]504-her apprentices , from the same causes that affected [them]504-her apprentices . This morning [she]82-mrs mason was disposed to find fault with everything , and [everybody]505-everybody . [She]82-mrs mason seemed to have risen with the determination of putting [the world]506-the world and all that it contained ( [[her]82-mrs mason world]507-her world , at least ) to rights before night ; and abuses and negligences , which had long passed unreproved , or winked at , were to - day to be dragged to light , and sharply reprimanded . Nothing less than perfection would satisfy [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason at such times . [She]82-mrs mason had [her]82-mrs mason ideas of justice , too ; but they were not divinely beautiful and true ideas ; they were something more resembling [a grocer]508-a grocer 's , or [tea - dealer]509-tea - dealer 's ideas of equal right . A little over - indulgence last night was to be balanced by a good deal of over - severity to - day ; and this manner of rectifying previous errors fully satisfied [her]82-mrs mason conscience . [Ruth]81-ruth was not inclined for , or capable of , much extra exertion ; and it would have tasked all [her]81-ruth powers to have pleased [her]81-ruth superior . [The work - room]510-the work - room seemed filled with sharp calls . " [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton ! where have [you]89-miss hilton put the blue Persian ? Whenever things are mislaid , [I]511-one of the girls know it has been [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton 's evening for siding away ! "[511-one of the girls] " [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton was going out last night , so [I]511-one of the girls offered to clear [the workroom]4175-the workroom for [her]89-miss hilton . [I]511-one of the girls will find it directly , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , "[511-one of the girls] answered [one of [the girls]414-the girls]511-one of the girls . " Oh , [I]82-mrs mason am well aware of [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton 's custom of shuffling off [her]89-miss hilton duties upon any one who can be induced to relieve [her]89-miss hilton , "[82-mrs mason] replied [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason . [Ruth]81-ruth reddened , and tears sprang to [her]81-ruth eyes ; but [she]81-ruth was so conscious of the falsity of the accusation , that [she]81-ruth rebuked [herself]81-ruth for being moved by it , and , raising [her]81-ruth head , gave a proud look round , as if in appeal to [[her]81-ruth companions]423-her companions . " Where is the skirt of [Lady Farnham]97-lady farnham 's dress ? The flounces not put on ! [I]82-mrs mason am surprised . May [I]82-mrs mason ask to whom this work was entrusted yesterday ? "[82-mrs mason] inquired [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason , fixing [her]82-mrs mason eyes on [Ruth]81-ruth . " [I]82-mrs mason was to have done it , but [I]82-mrs mason made a mistake , and had to undo it . [I]82-mrs mason am very sorry . "[82-mrs mason] " [I]82-mrs mason might have guessed , certainly . There is little difficulty , to be sure , in discovering , when work has been neglected or spoilt , into whose hands it has fallen . "[82-mrs mason] Such were the speeches which fell to [Ruth]81-ruth 's share on this day of all days , when [she]81-ruth was least fitted to bear them with equanimity . In the afternoon it was necessary for [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason to go a few miles into [the country]514-the country . [She]81-ruth left injunctions , and orders , and directions , and prohibitions without end ; but at last [she]81-ruth was gone , and in the relief of [her]81-ruth absence , [Ruth]81-ruth laid [her]81-ruth arms on the table , and , burying [her]81-ruth head , began to cry aloud , with weak , unchecked sobs . " Do n't cry , [Miss Hilton,"--"Ruthie]98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie[81-ruth] , never mind the old dragon,"--"How will [you]98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie bear on for five years , if [you]98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie do n't spirit [yourself]98-miss hilton,"--"ruthie up not to care a straw for what [she]81-ruth says?"--were[81-ruth] some of the modes of comfort and sympathy administered by [the young workwomen]515-the young workwomen . [Jenny]85-jenny , with a wiser insight into the grievance and its remedy , said : " Suppose [Ruth]81-ruth goes out instead of [you]99-fanny barton , [Fanny Barton]99-fanny barton , to do the errands . The fresh air will do [her]81-ruth good ; and [you]99-fanny barton know [you]99-fanny barton dislike the cold east winds , while [Ruth]81-ruth says [she]81-ruth enjoys frost and snow , and all kinds of shivery weather . "[85-jenny] [Fanny Barton]99-fanny barton was [a great sleepy - looking girl]516-a great sleepy - looking girl , huddling over the fire . [No one]517-no one so willing as [she]99-fanny barton to relinquish the walk on this bleak afternoon , when the east wind blew keenly down [the street]347-the street , drying up the very snow itself . There was no temptation to come abroad , for [those who were not absolutely obliged to leave [[their]519-those who were not absolutely obliged to leave their warm rooms warm rooms]520-their warm rooms]519-those who were not absolutely obliged to leave their warm rooms ; indeed , the dusk hour showed that it was the usual tea - time for [the humble inhabitants of [that part of [the town]396-the town]522-that part of the town through which [Ruth]81-ruth had to pass on [her]81-ruth shopping expedition]521-the humble inhabitants of that part of the town through which ruth had to pass on her shopping expedition . As [she]81-ruth came to [the high ground just above [the river]525-the river]524-the high ground just above the river , where [the street]347-the street sloped rapidly down to [the bridge]527-the bridge , [she]81-ruth saw [the flat country beyond all covered with snow]528-the flat country beyond all covered with snow , making the black dome of the cloud - laden sky appear yet blacker ; as if the winter 's night had never fairly gone away , but had hovered on the edge of [the world]506-the world all through the short bleak day . Down by [the bridge]527-the bridge ( where there was a little shelving bank , used as a landing - place for [any pleasure - boats that could float on]531-any pleasure - boats that could float on [that shallow stream]532-that shallow stream ) [some children]533-some children were playing , and defying the cold ; [one of [them]533-some children]534-one of them had got a large washing - tub , and with the use of a broken oar kept steering and pushing [himself]534-one of them hither and thither in [the little creek]535-the little creek , much to the admiration of [[his]534-one of them companions]536-his companions , who stood gravely looking on , immovable in [their]536-his companions attentive observation of [the hero]537-the hero , although [their]536-his companions faces were blue with cold , and [their]536-his companions hands crammed deep into [their]536-his companions pockets with some faint hope of finding warmth there . Perhaps [they]536-his companions feared that , if [they]536-his companions unpacked [themselves]536-his companions from [their]536-his companions lumpy attitudes and began to move about , the cruel wind would find its way into every cranny of [their]536-his companions tattered dress . [They]536-his companions were all huddled up , and still ; with eyes intent on [the embryo sailor]538-the embryo sailor . At last , [one little man]539-one little man , envious of the reputation that [his]539-one little man playfellow was acquiring by [his]539-one little man daring , called out : " [I]539-one little man 'll set [thee]100-tom a craddy , [Tom]100-tom ! [Thou]100-tom dar'n't go over yon black line in [the water]4177-the water , out into [the real river]4178-the real river . "[539-one little man] Of course the challenge was not to be refused , and [Tom]100-tom paddled away towards [the dark line]540-the dark line , beyond which [the river]525-the river swept with smooth , steady current . [Ruth]81-ruth ( [a child in years]542-a child in years [herself]81-ruth ) stood at the top of the declivity watching [the adventurer]543-the adventurer , but as unconscious of any danger as [the group of [children below]545-children below]544-the group of children below . At [their]536-his companions playfellow 's success , [they]536-his companions broke through the calm gravity of observation into boisterous marks of applause , clapping [their]536-his companions hands , and stamping [their]536-his companions impatient little feet , and shouting , " Well done , [Tom]100-tom ; [thou]4179-thou hast done it rarely ! "[536-his companions] [Tom]100-tom stood in childish dignity for a moment , facing [[his]100-tom admirers]546-his admirers ; then , in an instant , [his]100-tom washing - tub boat was whirled round , and [he]100-tom lost [his]100-tom balance , and fell out ; and both [he]100-tom and [[his]100-tom boat]547-his boat were carried away slowly , but surely , by [the strong full river]548-the strong full river which eternally moved onwards to [the sea]549-the sea . [The children]550-the children shrieked aloud with terror ; and [Ruth]81-ruth flew down to [the little bay]551-the little bay , and far into [[its]551-the little bay shallow waters]552-its shallow waters , before [she]81-ruth felt how useless such an action was , and that the sensible plan would have been to seek for efficient help . Hardly had this thought struck [her]81-ruth , when , louder and sharper than the sullen roar of [the stream]553-the stream that was ceaselessly and unrelentingly flowing on , came the splash of a horse galloping through the water in which [she]81-ruth was standing . Past [her]81-ruth like lightning -- down in [the stream]553-the stream , swimming along with the current -- [a stooping rider]555-a stooping rider -- an outstretched , grasping arm -- a little life redeemed , and [a child]556-a child saved to [those who loved it]557-those who loved it ! [Ruth]81-ruth stood dizzy and sick with emotion while all this took place ; and when [the rider]558-the rider turned [his]558-the rider swimming horse , and slowly breasted up [the river]525-the river to [the landing - place]560-the landing - place , [she]81-ruth recognised [him]558-the rider as [the Mr Bellingham of the night before]561-the mr bellingham of the night before . [He]558-the rider carried [the unconscious child]562-the unconscious child across [his]558-the rider horse ; the body hung in so lifeless a manner that [Ruth]81-ruth believed it was dead , and [her]81-ruth eyes were suddenly blinded with tears . [She]81-ruth waded back to [the beach]563-the beach , to the point towards which [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was directing [his]558-the rider horse . " Is [he]558-the rider dead ? "[81-ruth] asked [she]81-ruth , stretching out [her]81-ruth arms to receive [the little fellow]564-the little fellow ; for [she]81-ruth instinctively felt that the position in which [he]558-the rider hung was not the most conducive to returning consciousness , if , indeed , it would ever return . " [I]94-mr bellingham think not , "[94-mr bellingham] answered [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , as [he]94-mr bellingham gave [the child]565-the child to [her]81-ruth , before springing off [his]94-mr bellingham horse . " Is [he]558-the rider [[your]81-ruth brother]4180-your brother ? Do [you]81-ruth know who [he]558-the rider is ? "[94-mr bellingham] " Look ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , who had sat down upon the ground , the better to prop [the poor lad]566-the poor lad , " [his]558-the rider hand twitches ! [he]558-the rider lives ! oh , [sir]4181-sir , [he]558-the rider lives ! Whose boy is [he]558-the rider ? "[81-ruth] ( to [the people]460-the people , who came hurrying and gathering to the spot at the rumour of an accident ) . " [He]558-the rider 's [old Nelly Brownson]101-old nelly brownson 's , "[460-the people] said [they]460-the people . " [[Her]81-ruth grandson]4182-her grandson . "[460-the people] " [We]460-the people must take [him]558-the rider into [a house]4183-a house directly , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth . " Is [[his]558-the rider home]4184-his home far off ? "[460-the people] " No , no ; it 's just close by . "[460-the people] " [One of [you]460-the people]4185-one of you go for [a doctor]4186-a doctor at once , "[94-mr bellingham] said [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , authoritatively , " and bring [him]558-the rider to [the old woman]4187-the old woman 's without delay . [You]81-ruth must not hold [him]558-the rider any longer , "[94-mr bellingham] [he]94-mr bellingham continued , speaking to [Ruth]81-ruth , and remembering [her]81-ruth face now for the first time ; " [your]81-ruth dress is dripping wet already . Here ! [[you]81-ruth fellow]4188-you fellow , take [him]558-the rider up , d'ye see ! "[94-mr bellingham] But [the child]565-the child 's hand had nervously clenched [Ruth]81-ruth 's dress , and [she]81-ruth would not have [him]565-the child disturbed . [She]81-ruth carried [her]81-ruth heavy burden very tenderly towards [a mean little cottage]569-a mean little cottage indicated by [the neighbours]570-the neighbours ; [an old crippled woman]571-an old crippled woman was coming out of the door , shaking all over with agitation . " Dear heart ! "[571-an old crippled woman] said [she]571-an old crippled woman , " [he]558-the rider 's the last of 'em all , and [he]558-the rider 's gone afore [me]571-an old crippled woman . "[571-an old crippled woman] " Nonsense , "[94-mr bellingham] said [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , " [the boy]4189-the boy is alive , and likely to live . "[94-mr bellingham] But [the old woman]4187-the old woman was helpless and hopeless , and insisted on believing that [[her]4187-the old woman grandson]4182-her grandson was dead ; and dead [he]565-the child would have been if it had not been for [Ruth]81-ruth , and [one or two of [the more sensible neighbours , who , under [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's directions]575-the more sensible neighbours , who , under mr bellingham 's directions , bustled about , and did all that was necessary until animation was restored]574-one or two of the more sensible neighbours , who , under mr bellingham 's directions , bustled about , and did all that was necessary until animation was restored . " What a confounded time [these people]4190-these people are in fetching [the doctor]4191-the doctor , "[94-mr bellingham] said [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham to [Ruth]81-ruth , between whom and [himself]94-mr bellingham a sort of silent understanding had sprung up from the circumstance of [their]576-their having been the only two ( besides [mere children ) who had witnessed the accident]577-mere children ) who had witnessed the accident , and also [the only two to whom a certain degree of cultivation]578-the only two to whom a certain degree of cultivation had given the power of understanding [each other]579-each other 's thoughts and even [each other]579-each other 's words . " It takes so much to knock an idea into [such stupid people]4192-such stupid people 's heads . [They]4190-these people stood gaping and asking which doctor [they]4190-these people were to go for , as if it signified whether it was [Brown]102-jemima or [Smith]103-smith , so long as [he]565-the child had [his]565-the child wits about [him]565-the child . [I]581-i have no more time to waste here , either ; [I]581-i was on the gallop when [I]581-i caught sight of [the lad]4193-the lad ; and , now [he]4193-the lad has fairly sobbed and opened [his]4193-the lad eyes , [I]581-i see no use in [my]581-i staying in this stifling atmosphere . May [I]581-i trouble [you]81-ruth with one thing ? Will [you]81-ruth be so good as to see that [the little fellow]564-the little fellow has all that [he]4193-the lad wants ? If [you]81-ruth 'll allow [me]581-i , [I]581-i 'll leave [you]81-ruth [my]581-i purse , "[581-i] continued [he]581-i , giving it to [Ruth]81-ruth , who was only too glad to have this power entrusted to [her]81-ruth of procuring one or two requisites which [she]81-ruth had perceived to be wanted . But [she]81-ruth saw some gold between the net - work ; [she]81-ruth did not like the charge of such riches . " [I]81-ruth shall not want so much , really , [sir]4181-sir . [One sovereign]4196-one sovereign will be plenty -- more than enough . May [I]81-ruth take that out , and [I]81-ruth will give [you]81-ruth back what is left of it when [I]81-ruth see [you]81-ruth again ? or , perhaps [I]81-ruth had better send it to [you]4181-sir , [sir]4181-sir ? "[81-ruth] " [I]582-i think [you]81-ruth had better keep it all at present . Oh ! what a horrid dirty place this is ; insufferable two minutes longer . [You]81-ruth must not stay here ; [you]81-ruth 'll be poisoned with this abominable air . Come towards the door , [I]582-i beg . Well , if [you]81-ruth think [one sovereign]4196-one sovereign will be enough , [I]582-i will take [my]582-i purse ; only , remember [you]81-ruth apply to [me]582-i if [you]81-ruth think [they]582-i want more . "[582-i] [They]582-i were standing at the door , where [some one]378-some one was holding [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's horse . [Ruth]81-ruth was looking at [him]378-some one with [her]81-ruth earnest eyes ( [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason and [her]81-ruth errands quite forgotten in the interest of the afternoon 's event ) , [her]81-ruth whole thoughts bent upon rightly understanding and following out [his]378-some one wishes for [the little boy]584-the little boy 's welfare ; and until now this had been the first object in [his]378-some one own mind . But at this moment the strong perception of [Ruth]81-ruth 's exceeding beauty came again upon [him]378-some one . [He]378-some one almost lost the sense of what [he]378-some one was saying , [he]378-some one was so startled into admiration . The night before , [he]378-some one had not seen [her]81-ruth eyes ; and now they looked straight and innocently full at [him]378-some one , grave , earnest , and deep . But when [she]81-ruth instinctively read the change in the expression of [his]378-some one countenance , [she]81-ruth dropped [her]81-ruth large white veiling lids ; and [he]378-some one thought [her]81-ruth face was lovelier still . The irresistible impulse seized [him]378-some one to arrange matters so that [he]378-some one might see [her]81-ruth again before long . " No ! "[378-some one] said [he]378-some one . " [I]378-some one see it would be better that [you]81-ruth should keep the purse . Many things may be wanted for [the lad]4193-the lad which [we]4200-we can not calculate upon now . If [I]378-some one remember rightly , there are [three sovereigns and some loose change]4201-three sovereigns and some loose change ; [I]378-some one shall , perhaps , see [you]81-ruth again in a few days , when , if there be any money left in the purse , [you]81-ruth can restore it to [me]378-some one . "[378-some one] " Oh , yes , [sir]4181-sir , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , alive to the magnitude of the wants to which [she]81-ruth might have to administer , and yet rather afraid of the responsibility implied in the possession of so much money . " Is there any chance of [my]378-some one meeting [you]81-ruth again in [this house]4203-this house ? "[378-some one] asked [he]378-some one . " [I]378-some one hope to come whenever [I]378-some one can , [sir]4181-sir ; but [I]378-some one must run in errand - times , and [I]378-some one do n't know when [my]378-some one turn may be . "[378-some one] " Oh"--he[378-some one] did not fully understand this answer--"I should like to know how [you]378-some one think [the boy]4189-the boy is going on , if it is not giving [you]378-some one too much trouble ; do [you]378-some one ever take walks ? "[378-some one] " Not for walking 's sake , [sir]4181-sir . "[378-some one] " Well ! "[378-some one] said [he]378-some one , " [you]378-some one go to [church]4207-church , [I]378-some one suppose ? [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason does not keep [you]378-some one at work on Sundays , [I]378-some one trust ? "[378-some one] " Oh , no , [sir]4181-sir . [I]378-some one go to [church]4207-church regularly . "[378-some one] " Then , perhaps , [you]378-some one will be so good as to tell [me]378-some one what [church]4207-church [you]378-some one go to , and [I]378-some one will meet [you]378-some one [there]332-there next Sunday afternoon ? "[378-some one] " [I]585-he go to [St Nicholas ']5-st nicholas ' , [sir]4181-sir . [I]585-he will take care and bring [you]4181-sir word how [the boy]4189-the boy is , and what [doctor]4214-doctor [they]4189-the boy get ; and [I]585-he will keep an account of the money [I]585-he spend . "[585-he] " Very well ; thank [you]4181-sir . Remember , [I]585-he trust to [you]81-ruth . "[585-he] [He]585-he meant that [he]585-he relied on [her]586-her promise to meet [him]585-he ; but [Ruth]81-ruth thought that [he]585-he was referring to the responsibility of doing the best [she]586-her could for [the child]565-the child . [He]585-he was going away , when a fresh thought struck [him]585-he , and [he]585-he turned back into [the cottage]588-the cottage once more , and addressed [Ruth]81-ruth , with a half smile on [his]585-he countenance : " It seems rather strange , but [we]4215-we have [no one]517-no one to introduce [us]4215-we ; [my]585-he name is [Bellingham]94-mr bellingham -- yours is-- ? "[585-he] " [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth , [sir]4181-sir , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth answered , in a low voice , for , now that the conversation no longer related to [the boy]4189-the boy , [she]81-ruth felt shy and restrained . [He]585-he held out [his]585-he hand to shake [hers]81-ruth , and just as [she]81-ruth gave it to [him]585-he , [the old grandmother]590-the old grandmother came tottering up to ask some question . The interruption jarred upon [him]585-he , and made [him]585-he once more keenly alive to the closeness of the air , and the squalor and dirt by which [he]585-he was surrounded . " [[My]585-he good woman]4218-my good woman , "[585-he] said [he]585-he to [Nelly Brownson]101-old nelly brownson , " could [you]101-old nelly brownson not keep [[your]101-old nelly brownson place]4219-your place a little neater and cleaner ? [It]4219-your place is more fit for pigs than [human beings]4220-human beings . The air in [this room]4221-this room is quite offensive , and the dirt and filth is really disgraceful . "[585-he] By this time [he]585-he was mounted , and , bowing to [Ruth]81-ruth , [he]585-he rode away . Then [the old woman]4187-the old woman 's wrath broke out . " Who may [you]81-ruth be , that knows no better manners than to come into [[a poor woman]4222-a poor woman 's house]4223-a poor woman 's house to abuse it?--fit for pigs , indeed ! What [d'ye]81-ruth call [yon fellow]4224-yon fellow ? "[4187-the old woman] " [He]585-he is [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , shocked at [the old woman]4187-the old woman 's apparent ingratitude . " It was [he]585-he that rode into [the water]4177-the water to save [[your]4187-the old woman grandson]4226-your grandson . [He]585-he would have been drowned but for [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham . [I]81-ruth thought once [they]4227-they would both have been swept away by the current , it was so strong . "[81-ruth] " [The river]525-the river is none so deep , either , "[4187-the old woman] [the old woman]4187-the old woman said , anxious to diminish as much as possible the obligation [she]4187-the old woman was under to one who had offended [her]4187-the old woman . " [Some one else]4229-some one else would have saved [him]585-he , if [this fine young spark]4230-this fine young spark had never been near . [He]585-he 's [an orphan]4231-an orphan , and [God]104-leonard watches over [orphans]4232-orphans , [they]4233-they say . [I]4187-the old woman 'd rather it had been [any one else]4234-any one else as had picked [him]585-he out , than one who comes into [a poor body 's house]4235-a poor body 's house only to abuse it . "[4187-the old woman] " [He]585-he did not come in only to abuse it , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , gently . " [He]585-he came with [little Tom]100-tom ; [he]585-he only said it was not quite so clean as it might be . "[81-ruth] " What ! [you]4187-the old woman 're taking up the cry , are [you]4187-the old woman ? Wait till [you]4187-the old woman are [an old woman like [me]81-ruth]4236-an old woman like me , crippled with rheumatiz , and [a lad]4237-a lad to see after like [Tom]100-tom , who is always in mud when [he]585-he is n't in water ; and [his]585-he food and [mine]81-ruth to scrape together ( God knows [we]596-we 're often short , and do the best [I]81-ruth can ) , and water to fetch up that steep brow . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth stopped to cough ; and [Ruth]81-ruth judiciously changed the subject , and began to consult [the old woman]4187-the old woman as to the wants of [[her]4187-the old woman grandson]4182-her grandson , in which consultation [they]596-we were soon assisted by [the medical man]597-the medical man . When [Ruth]81-ruth had made one or two arrangements with [a neighbour]598-a neighbour , whom [she]81-ruth asked to procure the most necessary things , and had heard from [the doctor]4191-the doctor that all would be right in a day or two , [she]81-ruth began to quake at the recollection of the length of time [she]81-ruth had spent at [Nelly Brownson 's]101-old nelly brownson , and to remember , with some affright , the strict watch kept by [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason over [[her]82-mrs mason apprentices]504-her apprentices ' out - goings and in - comings on working days . [She]81-ruth hurried off to [the shops]488-the shops , and tried to recall [her]81-ruth wandering thoughts to the respective merits of pink and blue as a match to lilac , found [she]81-ruth had lost [her]81-ruth patterns , and went [home]4124-home with ill - chosen things , and in a fit of despair at [her]81-ruth own stupidity . The truth was , that the afternoon 's adventure filled [her]81-ruth mind ; only , the figure of [Tom]100-tom ( who was now safe , and likely to do well ) was receding into the background , and that of [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham becoming more prominent than it had been . [His]94-mr bellingham spirited and natural action of galloping into the water to save [the child]565-the child , was magnified by [Ruth]81-ruth into the most heroic deed of daring ; [his]94-mr bellingham interest about [the boy]4189-the boy was tender , thoughtful benevolence in [her]81-ruth eyes , and [his]94-mr bellingham careless liberality of money was fine generosity ; for [she]81-ruth forgot that generosity implies some degree of self - denial . [She]81-ruth was gratified , too , by the power of dispensing comfort [he]94-mr bellingham had entrusted to [her]81-ruth , and was busy with [Alnaschar]105-alnaschar visions of wise expenditure , when the necessity of opening [[Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's house]605-mrs mason 's house - door summoned [her]81-ruth back into actual present life , and the dread of an immediate scolding . For this time , however , [she]81-ruth was spared ; but spared for such a reason that [she]81-ruth would have been thankful for some blame in preference to [her]81-ruth impunity . During [her]81-ruth absence , [Jenny]85-jenny 's difficulty of breathing had suddenly become worse , and [the girls]414-the girls had , on [their]414-the girls own responsibility , put [her]85-jenny to bed , and were standing round [her]85-jenny in dismay , when [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's return [home]4124-home ( only a few minutes before [Ruth]81-ruth arrived ) fluttered [them]414-the girls back into [the workroom]4175-the workroom . And now , all was confusion and hurry ; [a doctor]4186-a doctor to be sent for ; a mind to be unburdened of directions for a dress to [a forewoman , who was too ill to understand]610-a forewoman , who was too ill to understand ; scoldings to be scattered with no illiberal hand amongst [a group of [frightened girls]612-frightened girls]611-a group of frightened girls , hardly sparing [the poor invalid]613-the poor invalid [herself]613-the poor invalid for [her]613-the poor invalid inopportune illness . In the middle of all this turmoil , [Ruth]81-ruth crept quietly to [[her]81-ruth place]614-her place , with a heavy saddened heart at the indisposition of [the gentle forewoman]615-the gentle forewoman . [She]81-ruth would gladly have nursed [Jenny]85-jenny [herself]81-ruth , and often longed to do it , but [she]81-ruth could not be spared . [Hands]616-hands , unskilful in fine and delicate work , would be well enough qualified to tend [the sick]617-the sick , until [the mother]618-the mother arrived from [home]4124-home . Meanwhile , extra diligence was required in [the workroom]4175-the workroom ; and [Ruth]81-ruth found no opportunity of going to see [little Tom]100-tom , or to fulfil the plans for making [him]100-tom and [[his]100-tom grandmother]621-his grandmother more comfortable , which [she]81-ruth had proposed to [herself]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth regretted [her]81-ruth rash promise to [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , of attending to [the little boy]584-the little boy 's welfare ; all that [she]81-ruth could do was done by means of [[Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's servant]623-mrs mason 's servant , through whom [she]81-ruth made inquiries , and sent the necessary help . The subject of [Jenny]85-jenny 's illness was the prominent one in [the house]426-the house . [Ruth]81-ruth told of [her]81-ruth own adventure , to be sure ; but when [she]81-ruth was at the very crisis of [the boy]4189-the boy 's fall into [the river]525-the river , the more fresh and vivid interest of some tidings of [Jenny]85-jenny was brought into [the room]357-the room , and [Ruth]81-ruth ceased , almost blaming [herself]81-ruth for caring for anything besides the question of life or death to be decided in [that very house]628-that very house . Then [a pale , gentle - looking woman]629-a pale , gentle - looking woman was seen moving softly about ; and it was whispered that this was [the mother]618-the mother come to nurse [[her]629-a pale , gentle - looking woman child]631-her child . [Everybody]505-everybody liked [her]629-a pale , gentle - looking woman , [she]629-a pale , gentle - looking woman was so sweet - looking , and gave so little trouble , and seemed so patient , and so thankful for any inquiries about [[her]629-a pale , gentle - looking woman daughter]633-her daughter , whose illness , it was understood , although its severity was mitigated , was likely to be long and tedious . While all the feelings and thoughts relating to [Jenny]85-jenny were predominant , [Sunday]106-sunday arrived . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason went the accustomed visit to [[her]82-mrs mason father]411-her father 's , making some little show of apology to [Mrs Wood]107-mrs wood for leaving [her]82-mrs mason and [[her]82-mrs mason daughter]633-her daughter ; [the apprentices]636-the apprentices dispersed to [the various friends with whom [they]636-the apprentices were in the habit of spending the day]637-the various friends with whom they were in the habit of spending the day ; and [Ruth]81-ruth went to [St Nicholas ']5-st nicholas ' , with a sorrowful heart , depressed on account of [Jenny]85-jenny , and self - reproachful at having rashly undertaken what [she]81-ruth had been unable to perform . As [she]81-ruth came out of [church]4207-church , [she]81-ruth was joined by [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham . [She]81-ruth had half hoped that [he]94-mr bellingham might have forgotten the arrangement , and yet [she]81-ruth wished to relieve [herself]81-ruth of [her]81-ruth responsibility . [She]81-ruth knew [his]94-mr bellingham step behind [her]81-ruth , and the contending feelings made [her]81-ruth heart beat hard , and [she]81-ruth longed to run away . " [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton , [I]94-mr bellingham believe , "[94-mr bellingham] said [he]94-mr bellingham , overtaking [her]81-ruth , and bowing forward , so as to catch a sight of [her]81-ruth rose - red face . " How is [[our]4238-our little sailor]4239-our little sailor going on ? Well , [I]94-mr bellingham trust , from the symptoms the other day . "[94-mr bellingham] " [I]81-ruth believe , [sir]4181-sir , [he]4239-our little sailor is quite well now . [I]81-ruth am very sorry , but [I]81-ruth have not been able to go and see [him]4239-our little sailor . [I]81-ruth am so sorry -- [I]81-ruth could not help it . But [I]81-ruth have got one or two things through [another person]4241-another person . [I]81-ruth have put them down on this slip of paper ; and here is [your]4181-sir purse , [sir]4181-sir , for [I]81-ruth am afraid [I]81-ruth can do nothing more for [him]4239-our little sailor . [We]4243-we have illness in [the house]426-the house , and it makes [us]4243-we very busy . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth had been so much accustomed to blame of late , that [she]81-ruth almost anticipated some remonstrance or reproach now , for not having fulfilled [her]81-ruth promise better . [She]81-ruth little guessed that [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was far more busy trying to devise some excuse for meeting [her]81-ruth again , during the silence that succeeded [her]81-ruth speech , than displeased with [her]81-ruth for not bringing a more particular account of [the little boy]584-the little boy , in whom [he]94-mr bellingham had ceased to feel any interest . [She]81-ruth repeated , after a minute 's pause : " [I]81-ruth am very sorry [I]81-ruth have done so little , [sir]4181-sir . "[81-ruth] " Oh , yes , [I]81-ruth am sure [you]4181-sir have done all [you]4181-sir could . It was thoughtless in [me]81-ruth to add to [your]4181-sir engagements . "[81-ruth] " [He]4181-sir is displeased with [me]81-ruth , "[81-ruth] thought [Ruth]81-ruth , " for what [he]4181-sir believes to have been neglect of [the boy]4189-the boy , whose life [he]4181-sir risked [his]4181-sir own to save . If [I]81-ruth told all , [he]4181-sir would see that [I]81-ruth could not do more ; but [I]81-ruth can not tell [him]4181-sir all the sorrows and worries that have taken up [my]81-ruth time . "[81-ruth] " And yet [I]640-me am tempted to give [you]81-ruth another little commission , if it is not taking up too much of [your]81-ruth time , and presuming too much on [your]81-ruth good - nature , "[640-me] said [he]640-me , a bright idea having just struck [him]640-me . " [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason lives in [Heneage Place]7-heneage place , does not [she]82-mrs mason ? [[My]640-me mother]4247-my mother 's ancestors lived [there]332-there ; and once , when [the house]426-the house was being repaired , [she]82-mrs mason took [me]640-me in to show [me]640-me [the old place]4250-the old place . There was an old hunting - piece painted on a panel over one of the chimney - pieces ; the figures were portraits of [[my]640-me ancestors]4251-my ancestors . [I]640-me have often thought [I]640-me should like to purchase it , if it still remained there . Can [you]640-me ascertain this for [me]640-me , and bring [me]640-me word next Sunday ? "[640-me] " Oh , yes , [sir]4181-sir , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , glad that this commission was completely within [her]81-ruth power to execute , and anxious to make up for [her]81-ruth previous seeming neglect . " [I]641-i 'll look directly [I]641-i get [home]4124-home , and ask [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason to write and let [you]640-me know . "[641-i] " Thank [you]81-ruth , "[641-i] said [he]641-i , only half satisfied ; " [I]641-i think perhaps , however , it might be as well not to trouble [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason about it ; [you]81-ruth see , it would compromise [me]641-i , and [I]641-i am not quite determined to purchase the picture ; if [you]81-ruth would ascertain whether the painting is there , and tell [me]641-i , [I]641-i would take a little time to reflect , and afterwards [I]641-i could apply to [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason [myself]641-i . "[641-i] " Very well , [sir]4181-sir ; [I]107-mrs wood will see about it . "[107-mrs wood] So [they]642-they parted . Before the next Sunday , [Mrs Wood]107-mrs wood had taken [[her]107-mrs wood daughter]633-her daughter to [[her]107-mrs wood distant home]644-her distant home , to recruit in [that quiet place]645-that quiet place . [Ruth]81-ruth watched [her]107-mrs wood down [the street]347-the street from an upper window , and , sighing deep and long , returned to [the workroom]4175-the workroom , whence the warning voice and the gentle wisdom had departed . CHAPTER III Sunday at [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham attended afternoon service at [[St Nicholas]5-st nicholas ' ' church]648-st nicholas ' church the next Sunday . [His]94-mr bellingham thoughts had been far more occupied by [Ruth]81-ruth than [hers]81-ruth by [him]94-mr bellingham , although [his]94-mr bellingham appearance upon the scene of [her]81-ruth life was more an event to [her]81-ruth than it was to [him]94-mr bellingham . [He]94-mr bellingham was puzzled by the impression [she]81-ruth had produced on [him]94-mr bellingham , though [he]94-mr bellingham did not in general analyse the nature of [his]94-mr bellingham feelings , but simply enjoyed them with the delight which [youth]649-youth takes in experiencing new and strong emotion . [He]94-mr bellingham was old compared to [Ruth]81-ruth , but young as [a man]650-a man ; hardly three - and - twenty . The fact of [his]94-mr bellingham being [an only child]651-an only child had given [him]94-mr bellingham , as it does to [many]652-many , a sort of inequality in those parts of the character which are usually formed by the number of years that [a person]653-a person has lived . The unevenness of discipline to which [only children]654-only children are subjected ; the thwarting , resulting from over - anxiety ; the indiscreet indulgence , arising from a love centred all in one object ; had been exaggerated in [his]94-mr bellingham education , probably from the circumstance that [[his]94-mr bellingham mother]655-his mother ( [[his]94-mr bellingham only surviving parent]656-his only surviving parent ) had been similarly situated to [himself]94-mr bellingham . [He]94-mr bellingham was already in possession of [the comparatively small property [he]94-mr bellingham inherited from [[his]94-mr bellingham father]658-his father]657-the comparatively small property he inherited from his father . [The estate on which [[his]94-mr bellingham mother]655-his mother lived]659-the estate on which his mother lived was [her]655-his mother own ; and [her]655-his mother income gave [her]655-his mother the means of indulging or controlling [him]94-mr bellingham , after [he]94-mr bellingham had grown to [[man]661-man 's estate]662-man 's estate , as [her]655-his mother wayward disposition and [her]655-his mother love of power prompted [her]655-his mother . Had [he]94-mr bellingham been double - dealing in [his]94-mr bellingham conduct towards [her]655-his mother , had [he]94-mr bellingham condescended to humour [her]655-his mother in the least , [her]655-his mother passionate love for [him]94-mr bellingham would have induced [her]655-his mother to strip [herself]655-his mother of all [her]655-his mother possessions to add to [his]94-mr bellingham dignity or happiness . But although [he]94-mr bellingham felt the warmest affection for [her]655-his mother , the regardlessness which [she]655-his mother had taught [him]94-mr bellingham ( by example , perhaps , more than by precept ) of the feelings of [others]368-others , was continually prompting [him]94-mr bellingham to do things that [she]655-his mother , for the time being , resented as mortal affronts . [He]94-mr bellingham would mimic the clergyman [she]655-his mother specially esteemed , even to [his]94-mr bellingham very face ; [he]94-mr bellingham would refuse to visit [[her]655-his mother schools]664-her schools for months and months ; and , when wearied into going at last , revenge [himself]94-mr bellingham by puzzling [the children]550-the children with the most ridiculous questions ( gravely put ) that [he]94-mr bellingham could imagine . All these boyish tricks annoyed and irritated [her]655-his mother far more than the accounts which reached [her]655-his mother of more serious misdoings at college and in [town]666-town . Of these grave offences [she]655-his mother never spoke ; of the smaller misdeeds [she]655-his mother hardly ever ceased speaking . Still , at times , [she]655-his mother had great influence over [him]94-mr bellingham , and nothing delighted [her]655-his mother more than to exercise it . The submission of [his]94-mr bellingham will to [hers]655-his mother was sure to be liberally rewarded ; for it gave [her]655-his mother great happiness to extort , from [his]94-mr bellingham indifference or [his]94-mr bellingham affection , the concessions which [she]655-his mother never sought by force of reason , or by appeals to principle -- concessions which [he]94-mr bellingham frequently withheld , solely for the sake of asserting [his]94-mr bellingham independence of [her]655-his mother control . [She]655-his mother was anxious for [him]94-mr bellingham to marry [Miss Duncombe]95-miss duncombe . [He]94-mr bellingham cared little or nothing about it -- it was time enough to be married ten years hence ; and so [he]94-mr bellingham was dawdling through some months of [his]94-mr bellingham life -- sometimes flirting with the nothing - loath [Miss Duncombe]95-miss duncombe , sometimes plaguing , and sometimes delighting [[his]94-mr bellingham mother]655-his mother , at all times taking care to please [himself]94-mr bellingham -- when [he]94-mr bellingham first saw [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth , and a new , passionate , hearty feeling shot through [his]94-mr bellingham whole being . [He]94-mr bellingham did not know why [he]94-mr bellingham was so fascinated by [her]655-his mother . [She]655-his mother was very beautiful , but [he]94-mr bellingham had seen [others equally beautiful]668-others equally beautiful , and with many more _ agaceries _ calculated to set off the effect of [their]668-others equally beautiful charms . There was , perhaps , something bewitching in the union of the grace and loveliness of womanhood with the _ naĂŻvetĂ© _ , simplicity , and innocence of [an intelligent child]669-an intelligent child . There was a spell in the shyness , which made [her]655-his mother avoid and shun all admiring approaches to acquaintance . It would be an exquisite delight to attract and tame [her]655-his mother wildness , just as [he]94-mr bellingham had often allured and tamed the timid fawns in [[[his]94-mr bellingham mother]655-his mother 's park]671-his mother 's park . By no over - bold admiration , or rash , passionate word , would [he]94-mr bellingham startle [her]655-his mother ; and , surely , in time [she]655-his mother might be induced to look upon [him]94-mr bellingham as [a friend]672-a friend , if not something nearer and dearer still . In accordance with this determination , [he]94-mr bellingham resisted the strong temptation of walking by [her]655-his mother side the whole distance [home]4124-home after [church]4207-church . [He]94-mr bellingham only received the intelligence [she]655-his mother brought respecting the panel with thanks , spoke a few words about the weather , bowed , and was gone . [Ruth]81-ruth believed [she]81-ruth should never see [him]94-mr bellingham again ; and , in spite of sundry self - upbraidings for [her]81-ruth folly , [she]81-ruth could not help feeling as if a shadow were drawn over [her]81-ruth existence for several days to come . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason was [a widow]675-a widow , and had to struggle for the sake of [the six or seven children]676-the six or seven children left dependent on [her]82-mrs mason exertions ; thus there was some reason , and great excuse , for the pinching economy which regulated [her]82-mrs mason household affairs . On Sundays [she]82-mrs mason chose to conclude that all [[her]82-mrs mason apprentices]504-her apprentices had [friends]678-friends who would be glad to see [them]504-her apprentices to dinner , and give [them]504-her apprentices a welcome reception for the remainder of the day ; while [she]82-mrs mason , and those of [[her]82-mrs mason children who were not at [school]680-school]679-her children who were not at school , went to spend the day at [[[her]82-mrs mason father]411-her father 's house]682-her father 's house , [several miles out of [the town]396-the town]683-several miles out of the town . Accordingly , no dinner was cooked on Sundays for [the young workwomen]515-the young workwomen ; no fires were lighted in [any rooms to which [they]515-the young workwomen had access]686-any rooms to which they had access . On this morning [they]515-the young workwomen breakfasted in [[Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's own parlour]687-mrs mason 's own parlour , after which [the room]357-the room was closed against [them]515-the young workwomen through the day by some understood , though unspoken prohibition . What became of such as [Ruth]81-ruth , who had [no home]689-no home and [no friends]690-no friends in [that large , populous , desolate town]691-that large , populous , desolate town ? [She]81-ruth had hitherto commissioned [the servant]692-the servant , who went to market on Saturdays for [the family]693-the family , to buy [her]81-ruth a bun or biscuit , whereon [she]81-ruth made [her]81-ruth fasting dinner in [the deserted workroom]694-the deserted workroom , sitting in [her]81-ruth walking - dress to keep off the cold , which clung to [her]81-ruth in spite of shawl and bonnet . Then [she]81-ruth would sit at the window , looking out on the dreary prospect till [her]81-ruth eyes were often blinded by tears ; and , partly to shake off thoughts and recollections , the indulgence in which [she]81-ruth felt to be productive of no good , and partly to have some ideas to dwell upon during the coming week beyond those suggested by the constant view of [the same room]695-the same room , [she]81-ruth would carry [her]81-ruth Bible , and place [herself]81-ruth in the window - seat on the wide landing , which commanded [the street in front of [the house]426-the house]696-the street in front of the house . From thence [she]81-ruth could see the irregular grandeur of [the place]444-the place ; [she]81-ruth caught a view of [the grey church - tower]699-the grey church - tower , rising hoary and massive into mid - air ; [she]81-ruth saw one or two figures loiter along on the sunny side of [the street]347-the street , in all the enjoyment of [their]701-their fine clothes and Sunday leisure ; and [she]81-ruth imagined histories for [them]701-their , and tried to picture to [herself]81-ruth [[their]701-their homes]702-their homes and [their]701-their daily doings . And before long , the bells swung heavily in the [church - tower]703-church - tower , and struck out with musical clang the first summons to [afternoon church]704-afternoon church . After [church]4207-church was over , [she]81-ruth used to return [home]4124-home to the same window - seat , and watch till the winter twilight was over and gone , and the stars came out over the black masses of [houses]707-houses . And then [she]81-ruth would steal down to ask for a candle , as a companion to [her]81-ruth in [the deserted workroom]694-the deserted workroom . Occasionally [the servant]692-the servant would bring [her]81-ruth up some tea ; but of late [Ruth]81-ruth had declined taking any , as [she]81-ruth had discovered [she]81-ruth was robbing the kind - hearted creature of part of the small provision left out for [her]81-ruth by [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason . [She]81-ruth sat on , hungry and cold , trying to read [her]81-ruth Bible , and to think the old holy thoughts which had been [her]81-ruth childish meditations at [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother 's knee , until one after another [the apprentices]636-the apprentices returned , weary with [their]636-the apprentices day 's enjoyment , and [their]636-the apprentices week 's late watching ; too weary to make [her]81-ruth in any way a partaker of [their]636-the apprentices pleasure by entering into details of the manner in which [they]636-the apprentices had spent [their]636-the apprentices day . And last of all , [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason returned ; and , summoning [[her]82-mrs mason " young people]4255-her " young people "[82-mrs mason] once more into [the parlour]712-the parlour , [she]82-mrs mason read a prayer before dismissing [them]636-the apprentices to bed . [She]82-mrs mason always expected to find [them]636-the apprentices all in [the house]426-the house when [she]82-mrs mason came [home]4124-home , but asked no questions as to [their]636-the apprentices proceedings through the day ; perhaps because [she]82-mrs mason dreaded to hear that [one or two]370-one or two had occasionally nowhere to go , and that it would be sometimes necessary to order a Sunday 's dinner , and leave a lighted fire on that day . For five months [Ruth]81-ruth had been [an inmate]716-an inmate at [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's , and such had been the regular order of the Sundays . While [the forewoman]717-the forewoman stayed [there]332-there , it is true , [she]717-the forewoman was ever ready to give [Ruth]81-ruth the little variety of hearing of recreations in which [she]81-ruth was [no partaker]719-no partaker ; and however tired [Jenny]85-jenny might be at night , [she]717-the forewoman had ever some sympathy to bestow on [Ruth]81-ruth for the dull length of day [she]81-ruth had passed . After [her]81-ruth departure , the monotonous idleness of the Sunday seemed worse to bear than the incessant labour of the work - days ; until the time came when it seemed to be a recognised hope in [her]81-ruth mind , that on Sunday afternoons [she]81-ruth should see [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , and hear a few words from [him]94-mr bellingham , as from [a friend who took an interest in [her]81-ruth thoughts and proceedings during the past week]720-a friend who took an interest in her thoughts and proceedings during the past week . [[Ruth]81-ruth 's mother]721-ruth 's mother had been [the daughter of [a poor curate in [Norfolk]9-norfolk]723-a poor curate in norfolk , and , early left without [parents]724-parents or [home]4124-home , [she]721-ruth 's mother was thankful to marry [a respectable farmer]726-a respectable farmer a good deal older than [herself]721-ruth 's mother]722-the daughter of a poor curate in norfolk , and , early left without parents or home , she was thankful to marry a respectable farmer a good deal older than herself . After [their]727-their marriage , however , everything seemed to go wrong . [Mrs Hilton]108-mrs hilton fell into a delicate state of health , and was unable to bestow the ever - watchful attention to domestic affairs so requisite in [[a farmer]728-a farmer 's wife]729-a farmer 's wife . [[Her]81-ruth husband]730-her husband had a series of misfortunes -- of a more important kind than the death of a whole brood of turkeys from getting among the nettles , or the year of bad cheeses spoilt by [a careless dairymaid]731-a careless dairymaid -- which were the consequences ( so [the neighbours]570-the neighbours said ) of [Mr Hilton]109-mr hilton 's mistake in marrying [a delicate , fine lady]733-a delicate , fine lady . [His]109-mr hilton crops failed ; [his]109-mr hilton horses died ; [[his]109-mr hilton barn]734-his barn took fire ; in short , if [he]109-mr hilton had been in any way a remarkable character , one might have supposed [him]109-mr hilton to be the object of an avenging fate , so successive were the evils which pursued [him]109-mr hilton ; but as [he]109-mr hilton was only [a somewhat commonplace farmer]735-a somewhat commonplace farmer , [I]0-i believe [we]736-we must attribute [his]109-mr hilton calamities to some want in [his]109-mr hilton character of the one quality required to act as keystone to many excellences . While [[his]109-mr hilton wife]737-his wife lived , all worldly misfortunes seemed as nothing to [him]109-mr hilton ; [her]737-his wife strong sense and lively faculty of hope upheld [him]109-mr hilton from despair ; [her]737-his wife sympathy was always ready , and [[the invalid]738-the invalid 's room]739-the invalid 's room had an atmosphere of peace and encouragement , which affected all who entered it . But when [Ruth]81-ruth was about twelve , one morning in the busy hay - time , [Mrs Hilton]108-mrs hilton was left alone for some hours . This had often happened before , nor had [she]737-his wife seemed weaker than usual when [they]740-they had gone forth to [the field]741-the field ; but on [their]740-they return , with merry voices , to fetch the dinner prepared for [the haymakers]742-the haymakers , [they]740-they found an unusual silence brooding over [the house]426-the house ; no low voice called out gently to welcome [them]740-they , and ask after the day 's progress ; and , on entering [the little parlour]744-the little parlour , which was called [Mrs Hilton]108-mrs hilton 's , and was sacred to [her]737-his wife , [they]740-they found [her]737-his wife lying dead on [[her]737-his wife accustomed sofa]745-her accustomed sofa . Quite calm and peaceful [she]737-his wife lay ; there had been no struggle at last ; the struggle was for [the survivors]746-the survivors , and [one]321-one sank under it . [[Her]108-mrs hilton husband]730-her husband did not make much ado at first -- at least , not in outward show ; [her]737-his wife memory seemed to keep in check all external violence of grief ; but , day by day , dating from [[his]730-her husband wife]737-his wife 's death , [his]730-her husband mental powers decreased . [He]730-her husband was still [a hale - looking elderly man]750-a hale - looking elderly man , and [his]730-her husband bodily health appeared as good as ever ; but [he]730-her husband sat for hours in [his]730-her husband easy - chair , looking into the fire , not moving , nor speaking , unless when it was absolutely necessary to answer repeated questions . If [Ruth]81-ruth , with coaxings and draggings , induced [him]730-her husband to come out with [her]81-ruth , [he]730-her husband went with measured steps around [[his]730-her husband fields]751-his fields , [his]730-her husband head bent to the ground with the same abstracted , unseeing look ; never smiling -- never changing the expression of [his]730-her husband face , not even to one of deeper sadness , when anything occurred which might be supposed to remind [him]730-her husband of [[his]730-her husband dead wife]752-his dead wife . But in this abstraction from all outward things , [his]730-her husband worldly affairs went ever lower down . [He]730-her husband paid money away , or received it , as if it had been so much water ; [the gold mines of [Potosi]10-potosi]753-the gold mines of potosi could not have touched the deep grief of [his]730-her husband soul ; but [God]104-leonard in [His]104-leonard mercy knew the sure balm , and sent [the Beautiful Messenger]754-the beautiful messenger to take [the weary one]755-the weary one [home]4124-home . After [his]730-her husband death , [the creditors]757-the creditors were [the chief people who appeared to take any interest in the affairs]758-the chief people who appeared to take any interest in the affairs ; and it seemed strange to [Ruth]81-ruth to see [people]322-people , whom [she]81-ruth scarcely knew , examining and touching all that [she]81-ruth had been accustomed to consider as precious and sacred . [[Her]81-ruth father]411-her father had made [his]411-her father will at [her]81-ruth birth . With the pride of newly and late - acquired paternity , [he]411-her father had considered the office of [guardian]761-guardian to [[his]411-her father little darling]762-his little darling as one which would have been an additional honour to [the lord - lieutenant of [the county]295-the county]763-the lord - lieutenant of the county ; but as [he]411-her father had not the pleasure of [[his]411-her father lordship]765-his lordship 's acquaintance , [he]411-her father selected [the person of most consequence amongst [those whom [he]411-her father did know]767-those whom he did know ; [not any very ambitious appointment , in those days of comparative prosperity]768-not any very ambitious appointment , in those days of comparative prosperity ; but certainly [the flourishing maltster of [Skelton]110-skelton]769-the flourishing maltster of skelton]766-the person of most consequence amongst those whom he did know ; not any very ambitious appointment , in those days of comparative prosperity ; but certainly the flourishing maltster of skelton was a little surprised , when , fifteen years later , [he]411-her father learnt that [he]411-her father was executor to a will bequeathing many vanished hundreds of pounds , and [guardian]761-guardian to [a young girl whom [he]411-her father could not remember ever to have seen]771-a young girl whom he could not remember ever to have seen . [He]411-her father was [a sensible , hard - headed man of [the world]506-the world]772-a sensible , hard - headed man of the world ; having a very fair proportion of conscience as consciences go ; indeed , [perhaps more than many people]774-perhaps more than many people ; for [he]411-her father had some ideas of duty extending to [the circle beyond [[his]411-her father own family]776-his own family]775-the circle beyond his own family ; and did not , as [some]365-some would have done , decline acting altogether , but speedily summoned [the creditors]757-the creditors , examined into the accounts , sold up the farming - stock , and discharged all the debts ; paid about ÂŁ 80 into [the Skelton bank]779-the skelton bank for a week , while [he]411-her father inquired for a situation or apprenticeship of some kind for [poor heart - broken [Ruth]81-ruth]780-poor heart - broken ruth ; heard of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's ; arranged all with [her]82-mrs mason in two short conversations ; drove over for [Ruth]81-ruth in [[his]411-her father gig]781-his gig ; waited while [she]81-ruth and [the old servant]782-the old servant packed up [her]81-ruth clothes ; and grew very impatient while [she]81-ruth ran , with [her]81-ruth eyes streaming with tears , round [the garden]783-the garden , tearing off in a passion of love whole boughs of favourite China and damask roses , late flowering against the casement - window of what had been [[[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother 's room]785-her mother 's room . When [she]81-ruth took [her]81-ruth seat in [the gig]786-the gig , [she]81-ruth was little able , even if [she]81-ruth had been inclined , to profit by [[her]81-ruth guardian]787-her guardian 's lectures on economy and self - reliance ; but [she]81-ruth was quiet and silent , looking forward with longing to the night - time , when , in [[her]81-ruth bedroom]788-her bedroom , [she]81-ruth might give way to all [her]81-ruth passionate sorrow at being wrenched from [the home where [she]81-ruth had lived with [[her]81-ruth parents]790-her parents , in that utter absence of any anticipation of change , which is either the blessing or the curse of childhood]789-the home where she had lived with her parents , in that utter absence of any anticipation of change , which is either the blessing or the curse of childhood . But at night there were [four other girls in [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room]791-four other girls in her room , and [she]81-ruth could not cry before [them]791-four other girls in her room . [She]81-ruth watched and waited till , one by one , [they]791-four other girls in her room dropped off to sleep , and then [she]81-ruth buried [her]81-ruth face in the pillow , and shook with sobbing grief ; and then [she]81-ruth paused to conjure up , with fond luxuriance , every recollection of the happy days , so little valued in [their]791-four other girls in her room uneventful peace while [they]791-four other girls in her room lasted , so passionately regretted when once gone for ever ; to remember every look and word of [the dear mother]793-the dear mother , and to moan afresh over the change caused by [her]793-the dear mother death;--the first clouding in of [Ruth]81-ruth 's day of life . It was [Jenny]85-jenny 's sympathy on this first night , when awakened by [Ruth]81-ruth 's irrepressible agony , that had made the bond between [them]794-them . But [Ruth]81-ruth 's loving disposition , continually sending forth fibres in search of nutriment , found no other object for regard among those of [her]81-ruth daily life to compensate for the want of natural ties . But , almost insensibly , [Jenny]85-jenny 's place in [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart was filled up ; there was [some one who listened with tender interest to all [her]81-ruth little revelations]795-some one who listened with tender interest to all her little revelations ; who questioned [her]81-ruth about [her]81-ruth early days of happiness , and , in return , spoke of [his]795-some one who listened with tender interest to all her little revelations own childhood -- not so golden in reality as [Ruth]81-ruth 's , but more dazzling , when recounted with stories of [the beautiful cream - coloured Arabian pony]796-the beautiful cream - coloured arabian pony , and [the old picture - gallery in [the house]426-the house]797-the old picture - gallery in the house , and [avenues]799-avenues , and terraces , and fountains in [the garden]783-the garden , for [Ruth]81-ruth to paint , with all the vividness of imagination , as scenery and background for the figure which was growing by slow degrees most prominent in [her]81-ruth thoughts . It must not be supposed that this was effected all at once , though the intermediate stages have been passed over . On Sunday , [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham only spoke to [her]81-ruth to receive the information about the panel ; nor did [he]94-mr bellingham come to [St Nicholas]5-st nicholas ' ' the next , nor yet the following Sunday . But the third [he]94-mr bellingham walked by [her]81-ruth side a little way , and , seeing [her]81-ruth annoyance , [he]94-mr bellingham left [her]81-ruth ; and then [she]81-ruth wished for [him]94-mr bellingham back again , and found the day very dreary , and wondered why a strange undefined feeling had made [her]81-ruth imagine [she]81-ruth was doing wrong in walking alongside of one so kind and good as [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ; it had been very foolish of [her]81-ruth to be self - conscious all the time , and if ever [he]94-mr bellingham spoke to [her]81-ruth again [she]81-ruth would not think of what [people]322-people might say , but enjoy the pleasure which [his]94-mr bellingham kind words and evident interest in [her]81-ruth might give . Then [she]81-ruth thought it was very likely [he]94-mr bellingham never would notice [her]81-ruth again , for [she]81-ruth knew [she]81-ruth had been very rude with [her]81-ruth short answers ; it was very provoking that [she]81-ruth had behaved so rudely . [She]81-ruth should be sixteen in another month , and [she]81-ruth was still childish and awkward . Thus [she]81-ruth lectured [herself]81-ruth , after parting with [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ; and the consequence was , that on the following Sunday [she]81-ruth was ten times as blushing and conscious , and ( [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham thought ) ten times more beautiful than ever . [He]94-mr bellingham suggested , that instead of going straight [home]4124-home through [High - street]803-high - street , [she]81-ruth should take the round by [the Leasowes]11-the leasowes ; at first [she]81-ruth declined , but then , suddenly wondering and questioning [herself]81-ruth why [she]81-ruth refused a thing which was , as far as reason and knowledge ( _ [her]81-ruth _ knowledge ) went , so innocent , and which was certainly so tempting and pleasant , [she]81-ruth agreed to go the round ; and when [she]81-ruth was once in [the meadows that skirted [the town]396-the town]804-the meadows that skirted the town , [she]81-ruth forgot all doubt and awkwardness -- nay , almost forgot the presence of [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham -- in [her]81-ruth delight at the new tender beauty of an early spring day in February . Among the last year 's brown ruins , heaped together by the wind in the hedgerows , [she]81-ruth found the fresh green crinkled leaves and pale star - like flowers of the primroses . Here and there a golden celandine made brilliant the sides of [the little brook that ( full of water in " February fill - dyke]4256-the little brook that ( full of water in " february fill - dyke "[81-ruth] ) bubbled along by the side of [the path]806-the path ; the sun was low in the horizon , and once , when [they]807-they came to [a higher part of [the Leasowes]11-the leasowes]808-a higher part of the leasowes , [Ruth]81-ruth burst into an exclamation of delight at the evening glory of mellow light which was in the sky behind the purple distance , while the brown leafless woods in the foreground derived an almost metallic lustre from the golden mist and haze of the sunset . It was but three - quarters of a mile round by [the meadows]809-the meadows , but somehow it took [them]807-they an hour to walk [it]810-it . [Ruth]81-ruth turned to thank [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham for [his]94-mr bellingham kindness in taking [her]81-ruth [home]4124-home by this beautiful way , but [his]94-mr bellingham look of admiration at [her]81-ruth glowing , animated face , made [her]81-ruth suddenly silent ; and , hardly wishing [him]94-mr bellingham good - bye , [she]81-ruth quickly entered [the house]426-the house with a beating , happy , agitated heart . " How strange it is , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth thought that evening , " that [I]81-ruth should feel as if this charming afternoon 's walk were , somehow , not exactly wrong , but yet as if it were not right . Why can it be ? [I]81-ruth am not defrauding [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason of any of [her]82-mrs mason time ; that [I]81-ruth know would be wrong ; [I]81-ruth am left to go where [I]81-ruth like on Sundays . [I]81-ruth have been to [church]4207-church , so it ca n't be because [I]81-ruth have missed doing [my]81-ruth duty . If [I]81-ruth had gone this walk with [Jenny]85-jenny , [I]81-ruth wonder whether [I]81-ruth should have felt as [I]81-ruth do now . There must be something wrong in [me]81-ruth , [myself]81-ruth , to feel so guilty when [I]81-ruth have done nothing which is not right ; and yet [I]81-ruth can thank [God]104-leonard for the happiness [I]81-ruth have had in this charming spring walk , which [dear mamma]4258-dear mamma used to say was a sign when pleasures were innocent and good for [us]4259-us . "[81-ruth] [She]813-she was not conscious , as yet , that [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's presence had added any charm to the ramble ; and when [she]813-she might have become aware of this , as , week after week , Sunday after Sunday , [loitering ramble after loitering ramble]814-loitering ramble after loitering ramble succeeded [each other]579-each other , [she]813-she was too much absorbed with one set of thoughts to have much inclination for self - questioning . " Tell [me]94-mr bellingham everything , [Ruth]81-ruth , as [you]81-ruth would to [a brother]4260-a brother ; let [me]94-mr bellingham help [you]81-ruth , if [I]94-mr bellingham can , in [your]81-ruth difficulties , "[94-mr bellingham] [he]94-mr bellingham said to [her]813-she one afternoon . And [he]94-mr bellingham really did try to understand , and to realise , how [an insignificant and paltry person like [Mason]82-mrs mason [the dressmaker]288-the dressmaker]816-an insignificant and paltry person like mason the dressmaker could be an object of dread , and regarded as [a person having authority]818-a person having authority , by [Ruth]81-ruth . [He]94-mr bellingham flamed up with indignation when , by way of impressing [him]94-mr bellingham with [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's power and consequence , [Ruth]81-ruth spoke of some instance of the effects of [[her]81-ruth employer]819-her employer 's displeasure . [He]94-mr bellingham declared [[his]94-mr bellingham mother]655-his mother should never have a gown made again by [such a tyrant]821-such a tyrant -- such a [Mrs Brownrigg]112-mrs brownrigg ; that [he]94-mr bellingham would prevent all [[his]94-mr bellingham acquaintances]822-his acquaintances from going to such [a cruel dressmaker]823-a cruel dressmaker ; till [Ruth]81-ruth was alarmed at the threatened consequences of [her]81-ruth one - sided account , and pleaded for [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason as earnestly as if [a young man]824-a young man 's menace of this description were likely to be literally fulfilled . " Indeed , [sir]4181-sir , [I]82-mrs mason have been very wrong ; if [you]4181-sir please , [sir]4181-sir , do n't be so angry . [She]82-mrs mason is often very good to [us]4263-us ; it is only sometimes [she]82-mrs mason goes into a passion ; and [we]4263-us are very provoking , [I]82-mrs mason dare say . [I]82-mrs mason know [I]82-mrs mason am for one . [I]82-mrs mason have often to undo [my]82-mrs mason work , and [you]4181-sir ca n't think how it spoils anything ( particularly silk ) to be unpicked ; and [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason has to bear all the blame . Oh ! [I]82-mrs mason am sorry [I]82-mrs mason said anything about it . Do n't speak to [[your]4181-sir mother]4264-your mother about it , pray , [sir]4181-sir . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason thinks so much of [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham 's custom . "[82-mrs mason] " Well , [I]82-mrs mason wo n't this time"--recollecting[82-mrs mason] that there might be some awkwardness in accounting to [[his]825-his mother]655-his mother for the means by which [he]825-his had obtained [his]825-his very correct information as to what passed in [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's workroom--"but if ever [she]82-mrs mason does so again , [I]82-mrs mason 'll not answer for [myself]82-mrs mason . "[82-mrs mason] " [I]81-ruth will take care and not tell again , [sir]4181-sir , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , in a low voice . " Nay , [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth are not going to have secrets from [me]81-ruth , are [you]81-ruth ? Do n't [you]81-ruth remember [your]81-ruth promise to consider [me]81-ruth as [a brother]4260-a brother ? Go on telling [me]81-ruth everything that happens to [you]81-ruth , pray ; [you]81-ruth can not think how much interest [I]81-ruth take in all [your]81-ruth interests . [I]81-ruth can quite fancy [that charming home at [Milham]12-milham]4268-that charming home at milham [you]81-ruth told [me]81-ruth about last Sunday . [I]81-ruth can almost fancy [[Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's workroom]4269-mrs mason 's workroom ; and that , surely , is a proof either of the strength of [my]81-ruth imagination , or of [your]81-ruth powers of description . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth smiled . " It is , indeed , [sir]4181-sir . [[Our]4271-our workroom]4272-our workroom must be so different to anything [you]81-ruth ever saw . [I]81-ruth think [you]81-ruth must have passed through [Milham]12-milham often on [your]81-ruth way to [Lowford]13-lowford . "[81-ruth] " Then [you]81-ruth do n't think it is any stretch of fancy to have so clear an idea as [I]82-mrs mason have of [Milham Grange]15-milham grange ? On [the left hand of [the road]4274-the road]4273-the left hand of the road , is it , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[82-mrs mason] " Yes , [sir]4181-sir , just over [the bridge]527-the bridge , and up [the hill]4277-the hill where the elm - trees meet overhead and make a green shade ; and then comes [the dear old Grange]4278-the dear old grange , that [I]827-you shall never see again . "[827-you] " Never ! Nonsense , [Ruthie]81-ruth ; it is only six miles off ; [you]81-ruth may see it any day . It is not an hour 's ride . "[81-ruth] " Perhaps [I]82-mrs mason may see it again when [I]82-mrs mason am grown old ; [I]82-mrs mason did not think exactly what ' never ' meant ; it is so very long since [I]82-mrs mason was [there]332-there , and [I]82-mrs mason do n't see any chance of [my]82-mrs mason going for years and years , at any rate . "[82-mrs mason] " Why , [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth -- [we]4280-we may go next Sunday afternoon , if [you]81-ruth like . "[827-you] [She]827-you looked up at [him]828-you with a lovely light of pleasure in [her]827-you face at the idea . " How , [sir]4181-sir ? Can [I]827-you walk it between afternoon service and the time [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason comes [home]4124-home ? [I]827-you would go for only one glimpse ; but if [I]827-you could get into [the house]426-the house -- oh , [sir]4181-sir ! if [I]827-you could just see [[mamma]113-mamma 's room]4285-mamma 's room again ! "[827-you] [He]828-you was revolving plans in [his]828-you head for giving [her]827-you this pleasure , and [he]828-you had also [his]828-you own in view . If [they]829-they went in any of [[his]828-you carriages]830-his carriages , the loitering charm of the walk would be lost ; and [they]829-they must , to a certain degree , be encumbered by , and exposed to , the notice of [servants]831-servants . " Are [you]827-you [a good walker]4286-a good walker , [Ruth]81-ruth ? Do [you]827-you think [you]827-you can manage six miles ? If [we]4287-we set off at two o'clock , [we]4287-we shall be [there]332-there by four , without hurrying ; or say half - past four . Then [we]4287-we might stay two hours , and [you]827-you could show [me]832-i all the old walks and old places [you]827-you love , and [we]4287-we could still come leisurely [home]4124-home . Oh , it 's all arranged directly ! "[832-i] " But do [you]828-you think it would be right , [sir]4181-sir ? It seems as if it would be such a great pleasure , that it must be in some way wrong . "[832-i] " Why , [you]827-you little goose , what can be wrong in it ? "[832-i] " In the first place , [I]81-ruth miss going to [church]4207-church by setting out at two , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , a little gravely . " Only for once . Surely [you]828-you do n't see any harm in missing [church]4207-church for once ? [You]828-you will go in the morning , [you]828-you know . "[81-ruth] " [I]832-i wonder if [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason would think it right -- if [she]82-mrs mason would allow it ? "[832-i] " No , [I]832-i dare say not . But [you]827-you do n't mean to be governed by [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's notions of right and wrong . [She]82-mrs mason thought it right to treat [that poor girl]4293-that poor girl [Palmer]114-palmer in the way [you]827-you told [me]832-i about . [You]827-you would think that wrong , [you]827-you know , and so would every one of sense and feeling . Come , [Ruth]81-ruth , do n't pin [your]827-you faith on [any one]425-any one , but judge for [yourself]827-you . The pleasure is perfectly innocent ; it is not a selfish pleasure either , for [I]832-i shall enjoy it to the full as much as [you]827-you will . [I]832-i shall like to see the places where [you]827-you spent [your]827-you childhood ; [I]832-i shall almost love [them]4295-them as much as [you]827-you do . "[832-i] [He]832-i had dropped [his]832-i voice ; and spoke in low , persuasive tones . [Ruth]81-ruth hung down [her]81-ruth head , and blushed with exceeding happiness ; but [she]81-ruth could not speak , even to urge [her]81-ruth doubts afresh . Thus it was in a manner settled . How delightfully happy the plan made [her]81-ruth through the coming week ! [She]81-ruth was too young when [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother died to have received any cautions or words of advice respecting _ the _ subject of [a woman]834-a woman 's life -- if , indeed , [wise parents]835-wise parents ever directly speak of what , in its depth and power , can not be put into words -- which is a brooding spirit with no definite form or shape that [men]836-men should know it , but which is there , and present before [we]837-we have recognised and realised its existence . [Ruth]81-ruth was innocent and snow - pure . [She]81-ruth had heard of falling in love , but did not know the signs and symptoms thereof ; nor , indeed , had [she]81-ruth troubled [her]81-ruth head much about them . Sorrow had filled up [her]81-ruth days , to the exclusion of all lighter thoughts than the consideration of present duties , and the remembrance of the happy time which had been . But the interval of blank , after the loss of [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother and during [[her]81-ruth father]411-her father 's life - in - death , had made [her]81-ruth all the more ready to value and cling to sympathy -- first from [Jenny]85-jenny , and now from [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham . To see [[her]81-ruth [home]4124-home]840-her home again , and to see it with [him]94-mr bellingham ; to show [him]94-mr bellingham ( secure of [his]94-mr bellingham interest ) the haunts of former times , each with its little tale of the past -- of dead and gone events!--No coming shadow threw its gloom over this week 's dream of happiness -- a dream which was too bright to be spoken about to common and indifferent ears . CHAPTER IV Treading in Perilous Places Sunday came , as brilliant as if there were no sorrow , or death , or guilt in [the world]506-the world ; a day or two of rain had made [the earth]843-the earth fresh and brave as the blue heavens above . [Ruth]81-ruth thought it was too strong a realisation of [her]81-ruth hopes , and looked for an over - clouding at noon ; but the glory endured , and at two o'clock [she]81-ruth was in [the Leasowes]11-the leasowes , with a beating heart full of joy , longing to stop the hours , which would pass too quickly through the afternoon . [They]844-they sauntered through [the fragrant lanes]845-the fragrant lanes , as if [their]844-they loitering would prolong the time , and check the fiery - footed steeds galloping apace towards the close of the happy day . It was past five o'clock before [they]844-they came to the great mill - wheel , which stood in Sabbath idleness , motionless in a brown mass of shade , and still wet with yesterday 's immersion in [the deep transparent water beneath]846-the deep transparent water beneath . [They]844-they clambered [the little hill]847-the little hill , not yet fully shaded by the overarching elms ; and then [Ruth]81-ruth checked [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , by a slight motion of the hand which lay within [his]94-mr bellingham arm , and glanced up into [his]94-mr bellingham face to see what that face should express as it looked on [Milham Grange]15-milham grange , now lying still and peaceful in its afternoon shadows . [It]15-milham grange was [a house of after - thoughts]848-a house of after - thoughts ; building materials were plentiful in [the neighbourhood]849-the neighbourhood , and [every successive owner]850-every successive owner had found a necessity for some addition or projection , till [it]15-milham grange was a picturesque mass of irregularity -- of broken light and shadow -- which , as a whole , gave a full and complete idea of a " Home . "[850-every successive owner] [All]851-all [its]15-milham grange gables and nooks were blended and held together by the tender green of the climbing roses and young creepers . [An old couple]852-an old couple were living in [the house]426-the house until [it]15-milham grange should be let , but [they]852-an old couple dwelt in the back part , and never used the front door ; so the little birds had grown tame and familiar , and perched upon the window - sills and [porch]854-porch , and on the old stone cistern which caught the water from the roof . [They]844-they went silently through [the untrimmed garden]855-the untrimmed garden , full of the pale - coloured flowers of spring . A spider had spread [her]856-her web over the front door . The sight of this conveyed a sense of desolation to [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart ; [she]81-ruth thought it was possible the state entrance had never been used since [[her]81-ruth father]411-her father 's dead body had been borne forth , and , without speaking a word , [she]81-ruth turned abruptly away , and went round [the house]426-the house to another door . [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham followed without questioning , little understanding [her]81-ruth feelings , but full of admiration for the varying expression called out upon [her]81-ruth face . [The old woman]4187-the old woman had not yet returned from [church]4207-church , or from the weekly gossip or neighbourly tea which succeeded . [The husband]861-the husband sat in [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , spelling the psalms for the day in [his]861-the husband Prayer - book , and reading the words out aloud -- a habit [he]861-the husband had acquired from the double solitude of [his]861-the husband life , for [he]861-the husband was deaf . [He]861-the husband did not hear the quiet entrance of [the pair]863-the pair , and [they]863-the pair were struck with the sort of ghostly echo which seems to haunt [half - furnished and uninhabited houses]864-half - furnished and uninhabited houses . The verses [he]861-the husband was reading were the following : Why art [thou]865-thou so vexed , O [my]0-i soul : and why art [thou]865-thou so disquieted within [me]0-i ? [O]866-o put [thy]866-o trust in [God]104-leonard : for [I]0-i will yet thank [him]104-leonard , which is the help of [my]0-i countenance , and [[my]0-i God]867-my god . And when [he]861-the husband had finished [he]861-the husband shut the book , and sighed with the satisfaction of having done [his]861-the husband duty . The words of holy trust , though perhaps they were not fully understood , carried a faithful peace down into the depths of [his]861-the husband soul . As [he]861-the husband looked up , [he]861-the husband saw [the young couple]868-the young couple standing on the middle of the floor . [He]861-the husband pushed [his]861-the husband iron - rimmed spectacles on to [his]861-the husband forehead , and rose to greet [the daughter of [[his]861-the husband old master and ever - honoured mistress]870-his old master and ever - honoured mistress]869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress . " God bless [thee]869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress , [lass]4296-lass ; God bless [thee]869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress ! [[My]81-ruth old eyes]4297-my old eyes are glad to see [thee]869-the daughter of his old master and ever - honoured mistress again . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth sprang forward to shake the horny hand stretched forward in the action of blessing . [She]81-ruth pressed it between both of [hers]81-ruth , as [she]81-ruth rapidly poured out questions . [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was not altogether comfortable at seeing [one whom [he]94-mr bellingham had already begun to appropriate as [his]94-mr bellingham own , so tenderly familiar with [a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer]872-a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer]871-one whom he had already begun to appropriate as his own , so tenderly familiar with a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer . [He]94-mr bellingham sauntered to the window , and looked out into [the grass - grown farm - yard]873-the grass - grown farm - yard ; but [he]94-mr bellingham could not help overhearing some of the conversation , which seemed to [him]94-mr bellingham carried on too much in the tone of equality . " And who 's yon ? "[874-the old labourer] asked [the old labourer]874-the old labourer at last . " Is [he]872-a hard - featured , meanly - dressed day - labourer [[your]94-mr bellingham sweetheart]4298-your sweetheart ? [[Your]94-mr bellingham missis 's son]4299-your missis 's son , [I]874-the old labourer reckon . [He]4299-your missis 's son 's [a spruce young chap]4300-a spruce young chap , anyhow . "[874-the old labourer] [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's " blood of all the Howards "[94-mr bellingham] rose and tingled about [his]94-mr bellingham ears , so that [he]94-mr bellingham could not hear [Ruth]81-ruth 's answer . It began by " [Hush]115-hush , [Thomas]100-tom ; pray hush ! "[82-mrs mason] but how it went on [he]94-mr bellingham did not catch . The idea of [his]94-mr bellingham being [[Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's son]875-mrs mason 's son ! It was really too ridiculous ; but , like most things which are " too ridiculous , "[82-mrs mason] it made [him]94-mr bellingham very angry . [He]94-mr bellingham was hardly [himself]94-mr bellingham again when [Ruth]81-ruth shyly came to the window - recess and asked [him]94-mr bellingham if [he]94-mr bellingham would like to see [the house - place]876-the house - place , into which the front door entered ; [many people]4163-many people thought it very pretty , [she]81-ruth said , half timidly , for [his]94-mr bellingham face had unconsciously assumed a hard and haughty expression , which [he]94-mr bellingham could not instantly soften down . [He]94-mr bellingham followed [her]81-ruth , however ; but before [he]94-mr bellingham left [the kitchen]862-the kitchen [he]94-mr bellingham saw [the old man]879-the old man standing , looking at [[Ruth]81-ruth 's companion]880-ruth 's companion with a strange , grave air of dissatisfaction . [They]881-they went along one or two zigzag , damp - smelling stone passages , and then entered [the house - place]876-the house - place , or common sitting - room for [[a farmer]728-a farmer 's family]884-a farmer 's family in [that part of [the country]514-the country]885-that part of the country . The front door opened into [it]876-the house - place , and [several other apartments]887-several other apartments issued out of [it]876-the house - place , such as [the dairy]888-the dairy , [the state bedroom]889-the state bedroom ( which was half - parlour as well ) , and [a small room which had been appropriated to [the late Mrs Hilton]108-mrs hilton]890-a small room which had been appropriated to the late mrs hilton , where [she]108-mrs hilton sat , or more frequently lay , commanding through the open door the comings and goings of [[her]108-mrs hilton household]891-her household . In those days [the house - place]876-the house - place had been [a cheerful room]893-a cheerful room , full of life , with the passing to and fro of [husband]894-husband , [child]895-child , and [servants]831-servants ; with a great merry wood fire crackling and blazing away every evening , and hardly let out in the very heat of summer ; for with the thick stone walls , and the deep window - seats , and the drapery of vine - leaves and ivy , [that room]4164-that room , with [its]4164-that room flag - floor , seemed always to want the sparkle and cheery warmth of a fire . But now the green shadows from without seemed to have become black in the uninhabited desolation . The oaken shovel - board , the heavy dresser , and the carved cupboards , were now dull and damp , which were formerly polished up to the brightness of a looking - glass where the fire - blaze was for ever glinting ; they only added to the oppressive gloom ; the flag - floor was wet with heavy moisture . [Ruth]81-ruth stood gazing into [the room]357-the room , seeing nothing of what was present . [She]81-ruth saw a vision of former days -- an evening in the days of [her]81-ruth childhood ; [[her]81-ruth father]411-her father sitting in the " [master]4301-master 's corner "[411-her father] near the fire , sedately smoking [his]411-her father pipe , while [he]411-her father dreamily watched [[his]411-her father wife]737-his wife and [child]895-child ; [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother reading to [her]81-ruth , as [she]710-her mother sat on a little stool at [her]710-her mother feet . It was gone -- all gone into [the land of shadows]903-the land of shadows ; but for the moment it seemed so present in [the old room]904-the old room , that [Ruth]81-ruth believed [her]81-ruth actual life to be the dream . Then , still silent , [she]81-ruth went on into [[[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother 's parlour]906-her mother 's parlour . But there , the bleak look of what had once been full of peace and [mother]4127-mother 's love , struck cold on [her]81-ruth heart . [She]81-ruth uttered a cry , and threw [herself]81-ruth down by the sofa , hiding [her]81-ruth face in [her]81-ruth hands , while [her]81-ruth frame quivered with [her]81-ruth repressed sobs . " [Dearest Ruth]81-ruth , do n't give way so . It can do no good ; it can not bring back the dead , "[94-mr bellingham] said [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , distressed at witnessing [her]81-ruth distress . " [I]81-ruth know it can not , "[81-ruth] murmured [Ruth]81-ruth ; " and that is why [I]81-ruth cry . [I]81-ruth cry because nothing will ever bring [them]4302-them back again . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth sobbed afresh , but more gently , for [his]94-mr bellingham kind words soothed [her]81-ruth , and softened , if they could not take away , [her]81-ruth sense of desolation . " Come away ; [I]81-ruth can not have [you]81-ruth stay [here]4172-here , full of painful associations as [these rooms]4304-these rooms must be . Come"--raising[81-ruth] [her]81-ruth with gentle violence--"show [me]94-mr bellingham [[your]81-ruth little garden]4305-your little garden [you]81-ruth have often told [me]94-mr bellingham about . Near the window of [this very room]4306-this very room , is it not ? See how well [I]94-mr bellingham remember everything [you]81-ruth tell [me]94-mr bellingham . "[94-mr bellingham] [He]94-mr bellingham led [her]81-ruth round through [the back part of [the house]426-the house]908-the back part of the house into [the pretty old - fashioned garden]910-the pretty old - fashioned garden . There was a sunny border just under the windows , and clipped box and yew - trees by the grass - plat , further away from [the house]426-the house ; and [she]81-ruth prattled again of [her]81-ruth childish adventures and solitary plays . When [they]912-they turned round [they]912-they saw [the old man]879-the old man , who had hobbled out with the help of [his]879-the old man stick , and was looking at [them]912-they with the same grave , sad look of anxiety . [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham spoke rather sharply : " Why does [that old man]4307-that old man follow [us]912-they about in that way ? It is excessively impertinent of [him]4307-that old man , [I]94-mr bellingham think . "[94-mr bellingham] " Oh , do n't call [old Thomas]100-tom impertinent . [He]100-tom is so good and kind , [he]100-tom is like [a father]4308-a father to [me]94-mr bellingham . [I]94-mr bellingham remember sitting on [his]100-tom knee many and many a time when [I]94-mr bellingham was [a child]556-a child , whilst [he]100-tom told [me]94-mr bellingham stories out of the ' Pilgrim 's Progress . ' [He]100-tom taught [me]94-mr bellingham to suck up milk through a straw . [Mamma]113-mamma was very fond of [him]100-tom too . [He]100-tom used to sit with [us]912-they always in the evenings when [papa]4310-papa was away at [market]4311-market , for mamma was rather afraid of having [no man]4312-no man in [the house]426-the house , and used to beg [old Thomas]100-tom to stay ; and [he]100-tom would take [me]94-mr bellingham on [his]100-tom knee , and listen just as attentively as [I]94-mr bellingham did while [mamma]4143-mamma read aloud . "[94-mr bellingham] " [You]94-mr bellingham do n't mean to say [you]94-mr bellingham have sat upon [that old fellow]4315-that old fellow 's knee ? "[94-mr bellingham] " Oh , yes ! many and many a time . "[94-mr bellingham] [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham looked graver than [he]94-mr bellingham had done while witnessing [Ruth]81-ruth 's passionate emotion in [[[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother 's room]785-her mother 's room . But [he]94-mr bellingham lost [his]94-mr bellingham sense of indignity in admiration of [[his]94-mr bellingham companion]916-his companion as [she]81-ruth wandered among the flowers , seeking for favourite bushes or plants , to which some history or remembrance was attached . [She]81-ruth wound in and out in natural , graceful , wavy lines between the luxuriant and overgrown shrubs , which were fragrant with a leafy smell of spring growth ; [she]81-ruth went on , careless of watching eyes , indeed unconscious , for the time , of [their]917-their existence . Once [she]81-ruth stopped to take hold of a spray of jessamine , and softly kiss it ; it had been [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother 's favourite flower . [Old Thomas]117-old thomas was standing by the horse - mount , and was also an observer of all [her]81-ruth goings - on . But , while [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's feeling was that of passionate admiration mingled with a selfish kind of love , [the old man]879-the old man gazed with tender anxiety , and [his]879-the old man lips moved in words of blessing : " [She]81-ruth 's [a pretty creature]4316-a pretty creature , with a glint of [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother about [her]81-ruth ; and [she]81-ruth 's [the same kind lass]4318-the same kind lass as ever . Not a bit set up with [yon fine manty - maker]4319-yon fine manty - maker 's shop [she]81-ruth 's in . [I]879-the old man misdoubt [that young fellow]4320-that young fellow though , for all [she]81-ruth called [him]4320-that young fellow [a real gentleman]4321-a real gentleman , and checked [me]879-the old man when [I]879-the old man asked if [he]4320-that young fellow was [[her]81-ruth sweetheart]4322-her sweetheart . If [his]4320-that young fellow are not [sweetheart]4323-sweetheart 's looks , [I]879-the old man 've forgotten all [my]879-the old man young days . Here ! [they]4324-they 're going , [I]879-the old man suppose . Look ! [he]879-the old man wants [her]81-ruth to go without a word to [the old man]879-the old man ; but [she]81-ruth is none so changed as that , [I]879-the old man reckon . "[879-the old man] Not [Ruth]81-ruth , indeed ! [She]81-ruth never perceived the dissatisfied expression of [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's countenance , visible to [the old man]879-the old man 's keen eye ; but came running up to [Thomas]117-old thomas to send [her]81-ruth love to [[his]879-the old man wife]737-his wife , and to shake [him]879-the old man many times by the hand . " Tell [Mary]118-mary [I]94-mr bellingham 'll make [her]118-mary such a fine gown , as soon as ever [I]94-mr bellingham set up for [myself]94-mr bellingham ; it shall be all in the fashion , big gigot sleeves , that [she]118-mary shall not know [herself]118-mary in them ! Mind [you]879-the old man tell [her]118-mary that , [Thomas]117-old thomas , will [you]879-the old man ? "[94-mr bellingham] " Aye , that [I]81-ruth will , [lass]4296-lass ; and [I]81-ruth reckon [she]118-mary 'll be pleased to hear [thou]118-mary hast not forgotten [thy]118-mary old merry ways . [The Lord]4327-the lord bless [thee]118-mary -- [the Lord]4327-the lord lift up the light of [His]4327-the lord countenance upon [thee]118-mary . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth was half - way towards the impatient [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham when [[her]81-ruth old friend]922-her old friend called [her]81-ruth back . [He]94-mr bellingham longed to give [her]81-ruth a warning of the danger that [he]94-mr bellingham thought [she]81-ruth was in , and yet [he]94-mr bellingham did not know how . When [she]81-ruth came up , all [he]94-mr bellingham could think of to say was a text ; indeed , the language of the Bible was the language in which [he]94-mr bellingham thought , whenever [his]94-mr bellingham ideas went beyond practical everyday life into expressions of emotion or feeling . " [[My]923-my dear]4145-my dear , remember the devil goeth about as a roaring lion , seeking whom [he]94-mr bellingham may devour ; remember that , [Ruth]81-ruth . "[923-my] The words fell on [her]81-ruth ear , but gave no definite idea . The utmost [they]923-my suggested was the remembrance of the dread [she]81-ruth felt as [a child]556-a child when this verse came into [her]81-ruth mind , and how [she]81-ruth used to imagine a lion 's head with glaring eyes peering out of the bushes in [a dark shady part of [the wood]926-the wood]925-a dark shady part of the wood , which , for this reason , [she]81-ruth had always avoided , and even now could hardly think of without a shudder . [She]81-ruth never imagined that the grim warning related to [the handsome young man who awaited [her]81-ruth with a countenance beaming with love]927-the handsome young man who awaited her with a countenance beaming with love , and tenderly drew [her]81-ruth hand within [his]94-mr bellingham arm . [The old man]879-the old man sighed as [he]879-the old man watched [them]929-them away . " [The Lord]4327-the lord may help [her]81-ruth to guide [her]81-ruth steps aright . [He]4327-the lord may . But [I]879-the old man 'm afeard [she]81-ruth 's treading in perilous places . [I]879-the old man 'll put [my]879-the old man missis up to going to [the town]396-the town and getting speech of [her]81-ruth , and telling [her]81-ruth a bit of [her]81-ruth danger . [An old motherly woman like [our]4333-our [Mary]118-mary]4332-an old motherly woman like our mary will set about it better nor [a stupid fellow like [me]879-the old man]4334-a stupid fellow like me . "[879-the old man] [The poor old labourer]930-the poor old labourer prayed long and earnestly that night for [Ruth]81-ruth . [He]930-the poor old labourer called it " wrestling for [her]81-ruth soul ; "[930-the poor old labourer] and [I]0-i think [his]930-the poor old labourer prayers were heard , for " [God]104-leonard judgeth not as [man]661-man judgeth . "[930-the poor old labourer] [Ruth]81-ruth went on [her]81-ruth way , all unconscious of the dark phantoms of the future that were gathering around [her]81-ruth ; [her]81-ruth melancholy turned , with the pliancy of childish years , at sixteen not yet lost , into a softened manner which was infinitely charming . By - and - by [she]81-ruth cleared up into sunny happiness . The evening was still and full of mellow light , and the new - born summer was so delicious that , in common with [all young creatures]931-all young creatures , [she]81-ruth shared its influence and was glad . [They]932-they stood together at the top of a steep ascent , " the hill "[932-they] of the hundred . At the summit there was a level space , sixty or seventy yards square , of unenclosed and broken ground , over which the golden bloom of the gorse cast a rich hue , while its delicious scent perfumed the fresh and nimble air . On one side of [this common]933-this common , [the ground]934-the ground sloped down to [a clear bright pond]935-a clear bright pond , in which were mirrored the rough sand - cliffs that rose [abrupt on the opposite bank]936-abrupt on the opposite bank ; hundreds of [martens]937-martens found [a home there]938-a home there , and were now wheeling over the transparent water , and dipping in [their]939-their wings in [their]939-their evening sport . Indeed , all sorts of birds seemed to haunt [the lonely pool]940-the lonely pool ; the water - wagtails were scattered around [its]940-the lonely pool margin , the linnets perched on the topmost sprays of the gorse - bushes , and other hidden warblers sang [their]939-their vespers on the uneven ground beyond . On [the far side of [the green waste]942-the green waste]941-the far side of the green waste , close by [the road]4274-the road , and well placed for the requirements of horses or [[their]944-their riders who might be weary with the ascent of [the hill]4277-the hill]945-their riders who might be weary with the ascent of the hill , there was [a public - house]947-a public - house , which was more of [a farm]948-a farm than [an inn]949-an inn . It was [a long , low building]950-a long , low building , rich in dormer - windows on the weather side , which were necessary in such an exposed situation , and with odd projections and unlooked - for gables on every side ; there was [a deep porch]951-a deep porch in front , on whose hospitable benches [a dozen persons]952-a dozen persons might sit and enjoy the balmy air . A noble sycamore grew right before [the house]426-the house , with seats all round [it]426-the house ( " such tents [the patriarchs]4336-the patriarchs loved "[119-king charles] ) ; and a nondescript sign hung from a branch on the side next to [the road]4274-the road , which , being wisely furnished with an interpretation , was found to mean [King Charles]119-king charles in the oak . Near [this comfortable , quiet , unfrequented inn]955-this comfortable , quiet , unfrequented inn , there was [another pond]956-another pond , for [household and farm - yard]957-household and farm - yard purposes , from which the cattle were drinking , before returning to [the fields]958-the fields after [they]944-their had been milked . [Their]959-they very motions were so lazy and slow , that they served to fill up the mind with the sensation of dreamy rest . [Ruth]81-ruth and [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham plunged through the broken ground to regain [the road]4274-the road near [the wayside inn]961-the wayside inn . Hand - in - hand , now pricked by the far - spreading gorse , now ankle - deep in sand ; now pressing the soft , thick heath , which should make so brave an autumn show ; and now over wild thyme and other fragrant herbs , [they]959-they made [their]959-they way , with many a merry laugh . Once on [the road]4274-the road , at [the summit]963-the summit , [Ruth]81-ruth stood silent , in breathless delight at the view before [her]81-ruth . [The hill]4277-the hill fell suddenly down into [the plain]965-the plain , extending for a dozen miles or more . There was a clump of dark Scotch firs close to them , which cut clear against the western sky , and threw back the nearest levels into distance . [The plain below [them]959-they]966-the plain below them was richly wooded , and was tinted by the young tender hues of the earliest summer , for all the trees of the wood had donned [their]967-their leaves except the cautious ash , which here and there gave a soft , pleasant greyness to the landscape . Far away in the champaign were spires , and [towers]968-towers , and stacks of chimneys belonging to [some distant hidden farm - house]969-some distant hidden farm - house , which were traced downwards through the golden air by the thin columns of blue smoke sent up from the evening fires . The view was bounded by some rising ground in deep purple shadow against the sunset sky . When first [they]959-they stopped , silent with sighing pleasure , the air seemed full of pleasant noises ; distant church - bells made harmonious music with the little singing - birds near at hand ; nor were the lowings of the cattle , nor the calls of [the farm - servants]970-the farm - servants discordant , for the voices seemed to be hushed by the brooding consciousness of [the Sabbath]120-the sabbath . [They]959-they stood loitering before [the house]426-the house , quietly enjoying the view . The clock in [the little inn]972-the little inn struck eight , and it sounded clear and sharp in the stillness . " Can it be so late ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . " [I]94-mr bellingham should not have thought it possible , "[94-mr bellingham] answered [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham . " But , never mind , [you]81-ruth will be at [home]4124-home long before nine . Stay , there is [a shorter road]4338-a shorter road , [I]94-mr bellingham know , through [the fields]958-the fields ; just wait a moment , while [I]94-mr bellingham go in and ask the exact way . "[94-mr bellingham] [He]94-mr bellingham dropped [Ruth]81-ruth 's arm , and went into [the public - house]973-the public - house . [A gig]974-a gig had been slowly toiling up [the sandy hill]975-the sandy hill behind , unperceived by [the young couple]868-the young couple , and now it reached the table - land , and was close upon [them]959-they as [they]959-they separated . [Ruth]81-ruth turned round , when the sound of the horse 's footsteps came distinctly as [he]94-mr bellingham reached the level . [She]81-ruth faced [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason ! [They]959-they were not ten -- no , not five yards apart . At the same moment [they]959-they recognised [each other]579-each other , and , what was worse , [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason had clearly seen , with [her]82-mrs mason sharp , needle - like eyes , the attitude in which [Ruth]81-ruth had stood with [the young man who had just quitted [her]81-ruth]978-the young man who had just quitted her . [Ruth]81-ruth 's hand had been lying in [his]94-mr bellingham arm , and fondly held there by [his]94-mr bellingham other hand . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason was careless about the circumstances of temptation into which [the girls]414-the girls entrusted to [her]82-mrs mason as [apprentices]980-apprentices were thrown , but severely intolerant if [their]414-the girls conduct was in any degree influenced by the force of these temptations . [She]82-mrs mason called this intolerance " keeping up the character of [her]82-mrs mason establishment . "[82-mrs mason] It would have been a better and more Christian thing , if [she]82-mrs mason had kept up the character of [[her]82-mrs mason girls]981-her girls by tender vigilance and maternal care . This evening , too , [she]82-mrs mason was in an irritated state of temper . [[Her]82-mrs mason brother]982-her brother had undertaken to drive [her]82-mrs mason round by [Henbury]16-henbury , in order to give [her]82-mrs mason the unpleasant information of the misbehaviour of [[her]82-mrs mason eldest son]983-her eldest son , who was [an assistant in [[a draper]985-a draper 's shop in [a neighbouring town]987-a neighbouring town]986-a draper 's shop in a neighbouring town]984-an assistant in a draper 's shop in a neighbouring town . [She]82-mrs mason was full of indignation against want of steadiness , though not willing to direct [her]82-mrs mason indignation against the right object -- [[her]82-mrs mason ne'er - do - well darling]988-her ne'er - do - well darling . While [she]82-mrs mason was thus charged with anger ( for [[her]82-mrs mason brother]982-her brother justly defended [[[her]82-mrs mason son]990-her son 's master and [companions]992-companions]991-her son 's master and companions from [her]82-mrs mason attacks ) , [she]82-mrs mason saw [Ruth]81-ruth standing with [a lover]993-a lover , far away from [home]4124-home , at such a time in the evening , and [she]82-mrs mason boiled over with intemperate displeasure . " Come here directly , [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton , "[82-mrs mason] [she]82-mrs mason exclaimed , sharply . Then , dropping [her]82-mrs mason voice to low , bitter tones of concentrated wrath , [she]82-mrs mason said to [the trembling , guilty Ruth]81-ruth : " Do n't attempt to show [your]81-ruth face at [[my]82-mrs mason house]4340-my house again after this conduct . [I]82-mrs mason saw [you]81-ruth , and [your]81-ruth spark , too . [I]82-mrs mason 'll have no slurs on the character of [[my]82-mrs mason apprentices]4341-my apprentices . Do n't say a word . [I]82-mrs mason saw enough . [I]82-mrs mason shall write and tell [[your]81-ruth guardian]4146-your guardian to - morrow . "[82-mrs mason] The horse started away , for [he]995-he was impatient to be off , and [Ruth]81-ruth was left standing there , stony , sick , and pale , as if the lightning had torn up the ground beneath [her]81-ruth feet . [She]81-ruth could not go on standing , [she]81-ruth was so sick and faint ; [she]81-ruth staggered back to [the broken sand - bank]996-the broken sand - bank , and sank down , and covered [her]81-ruth face with [her]81-ruth hands . " [[My]81-ruth dearest]4343-my dearest [Ruth]81-ruth ! are [you]81-ruth ill ? Speak , [darling]4344-darling ! [[My]81-ruth love]4345-my love , [[my]81-ruth love]4345-my love , do speak to [me]81-ruth ! "[81-ruth] What tender words after such harsh ones ! They loosened the fountain of [Ruth]81-ruth 's tears , and [she]81-ruth cried bitterly . " Oh ! did [you]81-ruth see [her]81-ruth -- did [you]81-ruth hear what [she]81-ruth said ? "[81-ruth] " [She]81-ruth ! Who , [[my]81-ruth darling]4347-my darling ? Do n't sob so , [Ruth]81-ruth ; tell [me]81-ruth what it is . Who has been near [you?--who]4348-you?--who has been speaking to [you]81-ruth to make [you]81-ruth cry so ? "[81-ruth] " Oh , [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason . "[81-ruth] And there was a fresh burst of sorrow . " [You]81-ruth do n't say so ! are [you]81-ruth sure ? [I]81-ruth was not away five minutes . "[81-ruth] " Oh , yes , [sir]4181-sir , [I]997-the poor child 'm quite sure . [She]81-ruth was so angry ; [she]81-ruth said [I]997-the poor child must never show [my]997-the poor child face there again . Oh , [dear]4155-dear ! what shall [I]997-the poor child do ? "[997-the poor child] It seemed to [the poor child]997-the poor child as if [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's words were irrevocable , and , that being so , [she]997-the poor child was shut out from [every house]998-every house . [She]997-the poor child saw how much [she]997-the poor child had done that was deserving of blame , now when it was too late to undo it . [She]997-the poor child knew with what severity and taunts [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason had often treated [her]997-the poor child for involuntary failings , of which [she]997-the poor child had been quite unconscious ; and now [she]997-the poor child had really done wrong , and shrank with terror from the consequences . [Her]997-the poor child eyes were so blinded by the fast - falling tears , [she]997-the poor child did not see ( nor had [she]997-the poor child seen would [she]997-the poor child have been able to interpret ) the change in [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's countenance , as [he]94-mr bellingham stood silently watching [her]997-the poor child . [He]94-mr bellingham was silent so long , that even in [her]997-the poor child sorrow [she]997-the poor child began to wonder that [he]94-mr bellingham did not speak , and to wish to hear [his]94-mr bellingham soothing words once more . " It is very unfortunate , "[94-mr bellingham] [he]94-mr bellingham began , at last ; and then [he]94-mr bellingham stopped ; then [he]94-mr bellingham began again : " It is very unfortunate ; for , [you]997-the poor child see , [I]94-mr bellingham did not like to name it to [you]997-the poor child before , but , [I]94-mr bellingham believe -- [I]94-mr bellingham have business , in fact , which obliges [me]94-mr bellingham to go to [town]666-town to - morrow -- to [London]3-london , [I]94-mr bellingham mean ; and [I]94-mr bellingham do n't know when [I]94-mr bellingham shall be able to return . "[94-mr bellingham] " To [London]3-london ! "[81-ruth] cried [Ruth]81-ruth ; " are [you]999-me going away ? Oh , [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ! "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth wept afresh , giving [herself]81-ruth up to the desolate feeling of sorrow , which absorbed all the terror [she]81-ruth had been experiencing at the idea of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's anger . It seemed to [her]81-ruth at this moment as though [she]81-ruth could have borne everything but [his]999-me departure ; but [she]81-ruth did not speak again ; and after two or three minutes had elapsed , [he]999-me spoke -- not in [his]999-me natural careless voice , but in a sort of constrained , agitated tone . " [I]999-me can hardly bear the idea of leaving [you]81-ruth , [[my]999-me own [Ruth]81-ruth]4352-my own ruth . In such distress , too ; for where [you]81-ruth can go [I]999-me do not know at all . From all [you]81-ruth have told [me]999-me of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason , [I]999-me do n't think [she]82-mrs mason is likely to mitigate [her]82-mrs mason severity in [your]81-ruth case . "[999-me] No answer , but tears quietly , incessantly flowing . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's displeasure seemed a distant thing ; [his]999-me going away was the present distress . [He]999-me went on : " [Ruth]81-ruth , would [you]81-ruth go with [me]999-me to [London]3-london ? [[My]999-me darling]4347-my darling , [I]999-me can not leave [you]81-ruth here without a [home]4124-home ; the thought of leaving [you]81-ruth at all is pain enough , but in these circumstances -- so friendless , so homeless -- it is impossible . [You]81-ruth must come with [me]999-me , love , and trust to [me]999-me . "[999-me] Still [she]82-mrs mason did not speak . Remember how young , and innocent , and motherless [she]82-mrs mason was ! It seemed to [her]82-mrs mason as if it would be happiness enough to be with [him]999-me ; and as for the future , [he]999-me would arrange and decide for that . The future lay wrapped in a golden mist , which [she]82-mrs mason did not care to penetrate ; but if [he]999-me , [her]82-mrs mason sun , was out of sight and gone , the golden mist became dark heavy gloom , through which no hope could come . [He]999-me took [her]82-mrs mason hand . " Will [you]82-mrs mason not come with [me]999-me ? Do [you]82-mrs mason not love [me]999-me enough to trust [me]999-me ? Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[999-me] ( reproachfully ) , " can [you]82-mrs mason not trust [me]999-me ? "[999-me] [She]82-mrs mason had stopped crying , but was sobbing sadly . " [I]999-me can not bear this , love . [Your]82-mrs mason sorrow is absolute pain to [me]999-me ; but it is worse to feel how indifferent [you]82-mrs mason are -- how little [you]82-mrs mason care about [our]4355-our separation . "[999-me] [He]999-me dropped [her]82-mrs mason hand . [She]82-mrs mason burst into a fresh fit of crying . " [I]999-me may have to join [[my]999-me mother]4247-my mother in [Paris]17-paris ; [I]999-me do n't know when [I]999-me shall see [you]82-mrs mason again . Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[999-me] said [he]999-me , vehemently , " do [you]81-ruth love [me]999-me at all ? "[999-me] [She]82-mrs mason said something in a very low voice ; [he]999-me could not hear it , though [he]999-me bent down [his]999-me head -- but [he]999-me took [her]82-mrs mason hand again . " What was it [you]81-ruth said , love ? Was it not that [you]81-ruth did love [me]999-me ? [[My]999-me darling]4347-my darling , [you]81-ruth do ! [I]999-me can tell it by the trembling of this little hand ; then [you]81-ruth will not suffer [me]999-me to go away alone and unhappy , most anxious about [you]81-ruth ? There is no other course open to [you]81-ruth ; [[my]999-me poor girl]4358-my poor girl has [no friends]690-no friends to receive [her]4358-my poor girl . [I]999-me will go [home]4124-home directly , and return in an hour with [a carriage]4361-a carriage . [You]81-ruth make [me]999-me too happy by [your]81-ruth silence , [Ruth]81-ruth . "[999-me] " Oh , what can [I]81-ruth do ! "[81-ruth] exclaimed [Ruth]81-ruth . " [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , [you]94-mr bellingham should help [me]81-ruth , and instead of that [you]94-mr bellingham only bewilder [me]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] " How , [[my]1000-me dearest]4343-my dearest [Ruth]81-ruth ? Bewilder [you]81-ruth ! It seems so clear to [me]1000-me . Look at the case fairly ! Here [you]81-ruth are , [an orphan]4231-an orphan , with [only one person to love [you]81-ruth]4364-only one person to love you , poor child!--thrown off , for no fault of [yours]81-ruth , by [the only creature on whom [you]81-ruth have a claim]4365-the only creature on whom you have a claim , [that creature]4366-that creature [a tyrannical , inflexible woman]4367-a tyrannical , inflexible woman ; what is more natural ( and , being natural , more right ) than that [you]81-ruth should throw [yourself]81-ruth upon the care of [the one who loves [you]81-ruth dearly -- who would go through fire and water for [you]81-ruth]4368-the one who loves you dearly -- who would go through fire and water for you -- who would shelter [you]81-ruth from all harm ? Unless , indeed , as [I]1000-me suspect , [you]81-ruth do not care for [him]4368-the one who loves you dearly -- who would go through fire and water for you . If so , [Ruth]81-ruth ! if [you]81-ruth do not care for [me]1000-me , [we]4369-we had better part -- [I]1000-me will leave [you]81-ruth at once ; it will be better for [me]1000-me to go , if [you]81-ruth do not care for [me]1000-me . "[1000-me] [He]1000-me said this very sadly ( it seemed so to [Ruth]81-ruth , at least ) , and made as though [he]1000-me would have drawn [his]1000-me hand from [hers]81-ruth , but now [she]81-ruth held it with soft force . " Do n't leave [me]81-ruth , please , [sir]4181-sir . It is very true [I]81-ruth have [no friend]4371-no friend but [you]4181-sir . Do n't leave [me]81-ruth , please . But , oh ! do tell [me]81-ruth what [I]81-ruth must do ! "[81-ruth] " Will [you]81-ruth do it if [I]81-ruth tell [you]81-ruth ? If [you]81-ruth will trust [me]81-ruth , [I]81-ruth will do [my]81-ruth very best for [you]81-ruth . [I]81-ruth will give [you]81-ruth [my]81-ruth best advice . [You]81-ruth see [your]81-ruth position . [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason writes and gives [her]82-mrs mason own exaggerated account to [[your]81-ruth guardian]4146-your guardian ; [he]4146-your guardian is bound by no great love to [you]81-ruth , from what [I]81-ruth have heard [you]81-ruth say , and throws [you]81-ruth off ; [I]81-ruth , who might be able to befriend [you]81-ruth -- through [[my]81-ruth mother]4247-my mother , perhaps -- [I]81-ruth , who could at least comfort [you]81-ruth a little ( could not [I]81-ruth , [Ruth]81-ruth ? ) , am away , far away , for an indefinite time ; that is [your]81-ruth position at present . Now , what [I]81-ruth advise is this . Come with [me]81-ruth into [this little inn]4374-this little inn ; [I]81-ruth will order tea for you--(I am sure [you]81-ruth require it sadly)--and [I]81-ruth will leave [you]81-ruth [there]332-there , and go [home]4124-home for [the carriage]4377-the carriage . [I]81-ruth will return in an hour at the latest . Then [we]4378-we are together , come what may ; that is enough for [me]81-ruth ; is it not for [you]81-ruth , [Ruth]81-ruth ? Say , yes -- say it ever so low , but give [me]81-ruth the delight of hearing it . [Ruth]81-ruth , say yes . "[81-ruth] Low and soft , with much hesitation , came the " Yes ; "[81-ruth] the fatal word of which [she]1001-she so little imagined the infinite consequences . The thought of being with [him]1002-i was all and everything . " How [you]81-ruth tremble , [[my]1001-she darling]4347-my darling ! [You]81-ruth are cold , love ! Come into [the house]426-the house , and [I]1001-she 'll order tea directly and be off . "[1001-she] [She]1001-she rose , and , leaning on [his]1002-i arm , went into [the house]426-the house . [She]1001-she was shaking and dizzy with the agitation of the last hour . [He]1002-i spoke to [the civil farmer - landlord]1004-the civil farmer - landlord , who conducted [them]1005-they into a neat parlour , with windows opening into [the garden at the back of [the house]426-the house]1006-the garden at the back of the house . [They]1005-they had admitted much of the evening 's fragrance through [their]1005-they open casements , before [they]1005-they were hastily closed by [the attentive host]1008-the attentive host . " Tea , directly , for [this lady]4381-this lady ! "[1009-the landlord] [The landlord]1009-the landlord vanished . " Dearest [Ruth]81-ruth , [I]1002-i must go ; there is not an instant to be lost ; promise [me]1002-i to take some tea , for [you]1010-you are shivering all over , and deadly pale with the fright that [abominable woman]4382-abominable woman has given [you]1010-you . [I]1002-i must go ; [I]1002-i shall be back in half an hour -- and then no more partings , [darling]4344-darling . "[1002-i] [He]1002-i kissed [her]1010-you pale cold face , and went away . [The room]357-the room whirled round before [Ruth]81-ruth ; it was a dream -- a strange , varying , shifting dream -- with [the old home of [her]81-ruth childhood]1012-the old home of her childhood for one scene , with the terror of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason 's unexpected appearance for another ; and then , strangest , dizziest , happiest of all , there was the consciousness of [his]1002-i love , who was all [the world]506-the world to [her]81-ruth ; and the remembrance of the tender words , which still kept up their low soft echo in [her]81-ruth heart . [Her]81-ruth head ached so much that [she]81-ruth could hardly see ; even the dusky twilight was a dazzling glare to [her]81-ruth poor eyes ; and when [the daughter of [the house]426-the house]1014-the daughter of the house brought in the sharp light of the candles , preparatory for tea , [Ruth]81-ruth hid [her]81-ruth face in the sofa pillows with a low exclamation of pain . " Does [your]81-ruth head ache , [miss]4384-miss ? "[1016-the girl] asked [the girl]1016-the girl , in a gentle , sympathising voice . " Let [me]81-ruth make [you]81-ruth some tea , [miss]4384-miss , it will do [you]81-ruth good . Many 's the time [poor mother]4386-poor mother 's headaches were cured by good strong tea . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth murmured acquiescence ; [the young girl]1017-the young girl ( about [Ruth]81-ruth 's own age , but who was [the mistress of [the little establishment]1019-the little establishment]1018-the mistress of the little establishment , owing to [[her]1017-the young girl mother]710-her mother 's death ) made tea , and brought [Ruth]81-ruth a cup to the sofa where [she]1017-the young girl lay . [Ruth]81-ruth was feverish and thirsty , and eagerly drank it off , although [she]81-ruth could not touch the bread and butter which [the girl]1016-the girl offered [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth felt better and fresher , though [she]81-ruth was still faint and weak . " Thank [you]1016-the girl , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " Do n't let [me]81-ruth keep [you]1016-the girl ; perhaps [you]1016-the girl are busy . [You]1016-the girl have been very kind , and the tea has done [me]81-ruth a great deal of good . "[81-ruth] [The girl]1016-the girl left [the room]357-the room . [Ruth]81-ruth became as hot as [she]81-ruth had previously been cold , and went and opened the window , and leant out into the still , sweet , evening air . The bush of sweetbrier , underneath the window , scented [the place]444-the place , and the delicious fragrance reminded [her]81-ruth of [[her]81-ruth old home]1025-her old home . [I]0-i think scents affect and quicken the memory more than either sights or sounds ; for [Ruth]81-ruth had instantly before [her]81-ruth eyes the little garden beneath the window of [[[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother 's room]785-her mother 's room , with [the old man]879-the old man leaning on [his]879-the old man stick , watching [her]81-ruth , just as [he]879-the old man had done , not three hours before , on that very afternoon . " [Dear old Thomas]117-old thomas ! [He]879-the old man and [Mary]118-mary would take [me]1029-i in , [I]1029-i think ; [they]4387-them would love [me]1029-i all the more if [I]1029-i were cast off . And [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham would , perhaps , not be so very long away ; and [he]94-mr bellingham would know where to find [me]1029-i if [I]1029-i stayed at [Milham Grange]15-milham grange . Oh , would it not be better to go to [them]4387-them ? [I]1029-i wonder if [he]94-mr bellingham would be very sorry ! [I]1029-i could not bear to make [him]94-mr bellingham sorry , so kind as [he]94-mr bellingham has been to [me]1029-i ; but [I]1029-i do believe it would be better to go to [them]4387-them , and ask [their]4387-them advice , at any rate . [He]94-mr bellingham would follow [me]1029-i [there]332-there ; and [I]1029-i could talk over what [I]1029-i had better do , with [the three best friends [I]1029-i have in [the world]506-the world]4389-the three best friends i have in the world -- [the only friends [I]1029-i have]4391-the only friends i have . "[1029-i] [She]1029-i put on [her]1029-i bonnet , and opened the parlour - door ; but then [she]1029-i saw the square figure of [the landlord]1009-the landlord standing at [the open house]1031-the open house - door , smoking [his]1009-the landlord evening pipe , and looming large and distinct against the dark air and [landscape beyond]1032-landscape beyond . [Ruth]81-ruth remembered the cup of tea that [she]81-ruth had drank ; it must be paid for , and [she]81-ruth had no money with [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth feared that [he]1009-the landlord would not let [her]81-ruth quit [the house]426-the house without paying . [She]81-ruth thought that [she]81-ruth would leave a note for [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , saying where [she]81-ruth was gone , and how [she]81-ruth had left [the house]426-the house in debt , for ( like [a child]556-a child ) all dilemmas appeared of equal magnitude to [her]81-ruth ; and the difficulty of passing [the landlord]1009-the landlord while [he]1009-the landlord stood there , and of giving [him]1009-the landlord an explanation of the circumstances ( as far as such explanation was due to [him]1009-the landlord ) , appeared insuperable , and as awkward , and fraught with inconvenience , as far more serious situations . [She]81-ruth kept peeping out of [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room , after [she]81-ruth had written [her]81-ruth little pencil - note , to see if the outer door was still obstructed . There [he]1009-the landlord stood , motionless , enjoying [his]1009-the landlord pipe , and looking out into the darkness which gathered thick with the coming night . The fumes of the tobacco were carried by the air into [the house]426-the house , and brought back [Ruth]81-ruth 's sick headache . [Her]81-ruth energy left [her]81-ruth ; [she]81-ruth became stupid and languid , and incapable of spirited exertion ; [she]81-ruth modified [her]81-ruth plan of action , to the determination of asking [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham to take [her]81-ruth to [Milham Grange]15-milham grange , to the care of [[her]81-ruth humble friends]1039-her humble friends , instead of to [London]3-london . And [she]81-ruth thought , in [her]81-ruth simplicity , that [he]1009-the landlord would instantly consent when [he]1009-the landlord had heard [her]81-ruth reasons . [She]81-ruth started up . [A carriage]4361-a carriage dashed up to the door . [She]81-ruth hushed [her]81-ruth beating heart , and tried to stop [her]81-ruth throbbing head to listen . [She]81-ruth heard [him]1009-the landlord speaking to [the landlord]1009-the landlord , though [she]81-ruth could not distinguish what [he]1009-the landlord said ; heard the jingling of money , and , in another moment , [he]1009-the landlord was in [the room]357-the room , and had taken [her]81-ruth arm to lead [her]81-ruth to [the carriage]4377-the carriage . " Oh , [sir]4181-sir ! [I]81-ruth want [you]4181-sir to take [me]81-ruth to [Milham Grange]15-milham grange , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , holding back . " [Old Thomas]117-old thomas would give [me]81-ruth [a home]4393-a home . "[81-ruth] " Well , [dearest]4394-dearest , [we]4395-we 'll talk of all that in [the carriage]4377-the carriage ; [I]1044-i am sure [you]81-ruth will listen to reason . Nay , if [you]81-ruth will go to [Milham]12-milham [you]81-ruth must go in [the carriage]4377-the carriage , "[1044-i] said [he]1044-i , hurriedly . [She]81-ruth was little accustomed to oppose the wishes of [any one]425-any one -- obedient and docile by nature , and unsuspicious and innocent of any harmful consequences . [She]81-ruth entered [the carriage]4377-the carriage , and drove towards [London]3-london . CHAPTER V In [North Wales]18-north wales The June of 18 - - had been glorious and sunny , and full of flowers ; but July came in with pouring rain , and it was a gloomy time for [travellers]1047-travellers and for [weather - bound tourists]1048-weather - bound tourists , who lounged away the days in touching up sketches , dressing flies , and reading over again for the twentieth time the few volumes [they]1048-weather - bound tourists had brought with [them]1048-weather - bound tourists . A number of the _ Times _ , five days old , had been in constant demand in [all the sitting - rooms of [a certain inn in [a little mountain village of North Wales]1051-a little mountain village of north wales]1050-a certain inn in a little mountain village of north wales]1049-all the sitting - rooms of a certain inn in a little mountain village of north wales , through a long July morning . [The valleys around]1052-the valleys around were filled with thick cold mist , which had crept up [the hillsides]1053-the hillsides till [the hamlet]1054-the hamlet itself was folded in [its]1054-the hamlet white dense curtain , and from [the inn]1055-the inn - windows nothing was seen of the beautiful scenery around . [The tourists who thronged [the rooms]1057-the rooms]1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms might as well have been " wi ' [[their]1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms dear little bairnies at hame]4398-their dear little bairnies at hame ; "[1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms] and so [some of [them]1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms]1058-some of them seemed to think , as [they]1058-some of them stood , with [their]1058-some of them faces flattened against the window - panes , looking abroad in search of an event to fill up the dreary time . How many dinners were hastened that day , by way of getting through the morning , let [the poor Welsh kitchen - maid]1059-the poor welsh kitchen - maid say ! [The very village children]1060-the very village children kept indoors ; or if [one or two more adventurous]1061-one or two more adventurous stole out into [the land of temptation and puddles]1062-the land of temptation and puddles , [they]1060-the very village children were soon clutched back by [angry and busy mothers]1063-angry and busy mothers . It was only four o'clock , but [most of [the inmates of [the inn]1055-the inn]1065-the inmates of the inn]1064-most of the inmates of the inn thought it must be between six and seven , the morning had seemed so long -- so many hours had passed since dinner -- when [a Welsh car , drawn by two horses]1067-a welsh car , drawn by two horses , rattled briskly up to the door . Every window of [the ark]1068-the ark was crowded with faces at the sound ; the leathern curtains were undrawn to [their]1056-the tourists who thronged the rooms curious eyes , and out sprang [a gentleman , who carefully assisted [a well - cloaked - up lady]1070-a well - cloaked - up lady into [the little inn]972-the little inn , despite [the landlady]1072-the landlady 's assurances of not having [a room to spare]1073-a room to spare]1069-a gentleman , who carefully assisted a well - cloaked - up lady into the little inn , despite the landlady 's assurances of not having a room to spare . [The gentleman]469-the gentleman ( it was [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ) paid no attention to the speeches of [the hostess]1075-the hostess , but quietly superintended the unpacking of [the carriage]4377-the carriage , and paid the postillion ; then , turning round with [his]469-the gentleman face to the light , [he]469-the gentleman spoke to [the landlady , whose voice had been rising during the last five minutes]1077-the landlady , whose voice had been rising during the last five minutes : " Nay , [Jenny]85-jenny , [you]85-jenny 're strangely altered , if [you]85-jenny can turn out [an old friend]4399-an old friend on such an evening as this . If [I]469-the gentleman remember right , [Pen trĂȘ Voelas]26-pen trĂȘ voelas is twenty miles across [the bleakest mountain road [I]469-the gentleman ever saw]4400-the bleakest mountain road i ever saw . "[469-the gentleman] " Indeed , [sir]4181-sir , and [I]469-the gentleman did not know [you]4181-sir ; [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , [I]469-the gentleman believe . Indeed , [sir]4181-sir , Pen trĂȘ [Voelas]19-voelas is not above eighteen miles -- [we]4403-we only charge for eighteen ; it may not be much above seventeen ; and [we]4403-we 're quite full , indeed , more 's the pity . "[469-the gentleman] " Well , but [Jenny]85-jenny , to oblige [me]469-the gentleman , [an old friend]4399-an old friend , [you]85-jenny can find lodgings out for [some of [[your]85-jenny people]4406-your people]4405-some of your people -- [the house across]4407-the house across , for instance . "[469-the gentleman] " Indeed , [sir]4181-sir , and it 's at liberty ; perhaps [you]85-jenny would not mind lodging [there]332-there [yourself]85-jenny ; [I]469-the gentleman could get [you]85-jenny [the best rooms]4410-the best rooms , and send over a trifle or so of furniture , if [they]4410-the best rooms wern't as [you]85-jenny 'd wish [them]4410-the best rooms to be . "[469-the gentleman] " No , [Jenny]85-jenny ! here [I]469-the gentleman stay . [You]4181-sir 'll not induce [me]469-the gentleman to venture over into [those rooms]4411-those rooms , whose dirt [I]469-the gentleman know of old . Ca n't [you]4181-sir persuade [some one who is not [an old friend to move across]4413-an old friend to move across]4412-some one who is not an old friend to move across ? Say , if [you]85-jenny like , that [I]469-the gentleman had written beforehand to bespeak [the rooms]1057-the rooms . Oh ! [I]469-the gentleman know [you]85-jenny can manage it -- [I]469-the gentleman know [your]85-jenny good - natured ways . "[469-the gentleman] " Indeed , [sir]4181-sir -- well ! [I]469-the gentleman 'll see , if [you]85-jenny and [the lady]470-the lady will just step into [the back parlour]4417-the back parlour , [sir]4181-sir -- there 's [no one there]4419-no one there just now ; [the lady]470-the lady is keeping [her]470-the lady bed to - day for a cold , and [the gentleman]469-the gentleman is having a rubber at whist in number three . [I]469-the gentleman 'll see what [I]469-the gentleman can do . "[469-the gentleman] " Thank [you]85-jenny , thank [you]85-jenny . Is there a fire ? if not , one must be lighted . Come , [Ruthie]81-ruth , come . "[1078-he] [He]1078-he led the way into [a large , bow - windowed room , which looked gloomy enough that afternoon]1079-a large , bow - windowed room , which looked gloomy enough that afternoon , but which [I]0-i have seen bright and buoyant with youth and hope within , and sunny lights creeping down [the purple mountain slope]1080-the purple mountain slope , and stealing over [the green , soft meadows]1081-the green , soft meadows , till [they]1082-they reached [the little garden]1083-the little garden , full of roses and lavender - bushes , lying close under the window . [I]0-i have seen -- but [I]0-i shall see no more . " [I]81-ruth did not know [you]1078-he had been [here]4172-here before , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , as [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham helped [her]81-ruth off with [her]81-ruth cloak . " Oh , yes ; three years ago [I]94-mr bellingham was here on a reading party . [We]4423-we were [here]4172-here above two months , attracted by [Jenny]85-jenny 's kind heart and oddities ; but driven away finally by the insufferable dirt . However , for a week or two it wo n't much signify . "[94-mr bellingham] " But can [she]85-jenny take [us]4423-we in , [sir]4181-sir ? [I]94-mr bellingham thought [I]94-mr bellingham heard [her]85-jenny saying [[her]85-jenny house]4426-her house was full . "[94-mr bellingham] " Oh , yes -- [I]94-mr bellingham dare say it is ; but [I]94-mr bellingham shall pay [her]85-jenny well ; [she]85-jenny can easily make excuses to [some poor devil]4427-some poor devil , and send [him]4427-some poor devil over to the other side ; and , for a day or two , so that [we]4423-we have shelter , it does not much signify . "[94-mr bellingham] " Could not [we]4423-we go to [the house]426-the house on the other side , [sir]4181-sir ? "[94-mr bellingham] " And have [our]4423-we meals carried across to [us]4423-we in a half - warm state , to say nothing of having [no one]517-no one to scold for bad cooking ! [You]81-ruth do n't know [these out - of - the - way Welsh inns]4431-these out - of - the - way welsh inns yet , [Ruthie]81-ruth . "[94-mr bellingham] " No ! [I]81-ruth only thought it seemed rather unfair-- "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , gently ; but [she]81-ruth did not end [her]81-ruth sentence , for [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham formed [his]94-mr bellingham lips into a whistle , and walked to the window to survey the rain . The remembrance of [his]94-mr bellingham former good payment prompted many little lies of which [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan was guilty that afternoon , before [she]122-mrs morgan succeeded in turning out [a gentleman]1084-a gentleman and [lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing Saturday at the outside]1085-lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing saturday at the outside , so , if [they]1085-lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing saturday at the outside did fulfil [their]1085-lady , who were only planning to remain till the ensuing saturday at the outside threat , and leave on the next day , [she]122-mrs morgan would be [no very great loser]1086-no very great loser . These household arrangements complete , [she]122-mrs morgan solaced [herself]122-mrs morgan with tea in [[her]122-mrs morgan own little parlour]1087-her own little parlour , and shrewdly reviewed the circumstances of [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's arrival . " Indeed ! and [she]122-mrs morgan 's not [[his]94-mr bellingham wife]737-his wife , "[85-jenny] thought [Jenny]85-jenny , " that 's clear as day . [[His]94-mr bellingham wife]737-his wife would have brought [[her]737-his wife maid]4434-her maid , and given [herself]737-his wife twice as many airs about [the sitting - rooms]4435-the sitting - rooms ; while [this poor miss]4436-this poor miss never spoke , but kept as still as a mouse . Indeed , and [young men]4437-young men will be [young men]4437-young men ; and , as long as [[their]4437-young men fathers]4439-their fathers and [mothers]4440-mothers shut [their]4437-young men eyes , it 's none of [my]85-jenny business to go about asking questions . "[85-jenny] In this manner [they]1088-we settled down to a week 's enjoyment of [that Alpine country]1089-that alpine country . It was most true enjoyment to [Ruth]81-ruth . It was opening a new sense ; vast ideas of beauty and grandeur filled [her]81-ruth mind at the sight of [the mountains]1090-the mountains now first beheld in full majesty . [She]81-ruth was almost overpowered by the vague and solemn delight ; but by - and - by [her]81-ruth love for [them]1088-we equalled [her]81-ruth awe , and in the night - time [she]81-ruth would softly rise , and steal to the window to see the white moonlight , which gave a new aspect to [the everlasting hills that girdle [the mountain village]1092-the mountain village]1091-the everlasting hills that girdle the mountain village . [Their]1088-we breakfast - hour was late , in accordance with [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's tastes and habits ; but [Ruth]81-ruth was up betimes , and out and away , brushing the dew - drops from the short crisp grass ; the lark sung high above [her]81-ruth head , and [she]81-ruth knew not if [she]81-ruth moved or stood still , for the grandeur of [this beautiful earth]1093-this beautiful earth absorbed all idea of separate and individual existence . Even rain was a pleasure to [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth sat in the window - seat of [[their]1088-we parlour]1094-their parlour ( [she]81-ruth would have gone out gladly , but that such a proceeding annoyed [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , who usually at such times lounged away the listless hours on a sofa , and relieved [himself]94-mr bellingham by abusing the weather ) ; [she]81-ruth saw the swift - fleeting showers come athwart the sunlight like a rush of silver arrows ; [she]81-ruth watched the purple darkness on [the heathery mountain - side]1095-the heathery mountain - side , and then the pale golden gleam which succeeded . There was no change or alteration of nature that had not its own peculiar beauty in the eyes of [Ruth]81-ruth ; but if [she]81-ruth had complained of the changeable climate , [she]81-ruth would have pleased [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham more ; [her]81-ruth admiration and [her]81-ruth content made [him]94-mr bellingham angry , until [her]81-ruth pretty motions and loving eyes soothed down [his]94-mr bellingham impatience . " Really , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[94-mr bellingham] [he]94-mr bellingham exclaimed one day , when [they]1088-we had been imprisoned by rain a whole morning , " one would think [you]81-ruth had never seen a shower of rain before ; it quite wearies [me]94-mr bellingham to see [you]81-ruth sitting there watching this detestable weather with such a placid countenance ; and for the last two hours [you]81-ruth have said nothing more amusing or interesting than--'Oh , how beautiful ! ' or , ' There 's another cloud coming across [Moel Wynn]123-moel wynn . ' "[94-mr bellingham] [Ruth]81-ruth left [her]81-ruth seat very gently , and took up [her]81-ruth work . [She]81-ruth wished [she]81-ruth had the gift of being amusing ; it must be dull for [a man accustomed to all kinds of active employments to be shut up in [the house]426-the house]1096-a man accustomed to all kinds of active employments to be shut up in the house . [She]81-ruth was recalled from [her]81-ruth absolute self - forgetfulness . What could [she]81-ruth say to interest [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ? While [she]81-ruth thought , [he]94-mr bellingham spoke again : " [I]94-mr bellingham remember when [we]1088-we were reading here three years ago , [we]1088-we had a week of just such weather as this ; but [Howard]124-howard and [Johnson]125-johnson were [capital whist players]4441-capital whist players , and [Wilbraham]126-wilbraham not bad , so [we]1088-we got through the days famously . Can [you]81-ruth play _ Ă©cartĂ© _ , [Ruth]81-ruth , or picquet ? "[94-mr bellingham] " No , [sir]4181-sir ; [I]81-ruth have sometimes played at beggar - [[my]81-ruth - neighbour]4443-my - neighbour , "[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]81-ruth , humbly , regretting [her]81-ruth own deficiencies . [He]94-mr bellingham murmured impatiently , and there was silence for another half - hour . Then [he]94-mr bellingham sprang up , and rung the bell violently . " Ask [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan for a pack of cards . [Ruthie]81-ruth , [I]94-mr bellingham 'll teach [you]81-ruth _ Ă©cartĂ© _ , "[94-mr bellingham] said [he]94-mr bellingham . But [Ruth]81-ruth was stupid , not so good as [a dummy]1098-a dummy , [he]94-mr bellingham said ; and it was no fun betting against [himself]94-mr bellingham . So the cards were flung across the table -- on the floor -- anywhere . [Ruth]81-ruth picked them up . As [she]81-ruth rose , [she]81-ruth sighed a little with the depression of spirits consequent upon [her]81-ruth own want of power to amuse and occupy [him]94-mr bellingham [she]81-ruth loved . " [You]81-ruth 're pale , love ! "[94-mr bellingham] said [he]94-mr bellingham , half repenting of [his]94-mr bellingham anger at [her]81-ruth blunders over the cards . " Go out before dinner ; [you]81-ruth know [you]81-ruth do n't mind this cursed weather ; and see that [you]81-ruth come [home]4124-home full of adventures to relate . Come , [little blockhead]4445-little blockhead ! give [me]81-ruth a kiss , and begone . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth left [the room]357-the room with a feeling of relief ; for if [he]94-mr bellingham were dull without [her]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth should not feel responsible , and unhappy at [her]81-ruth own stupidity . The open air , that kind soothing balm which gentle mother Nature offers to [us]1100-us all in [our]1100-us seasons of depression , relieved [her]81-ruth . The rain had ceased , though every leaf and blade was loaded with trembling glittering drops . [Ruth]81-ruth went down to [the circular dale]1101-the circular dale , into which [the brown - foaming mountain river fell and made a deep pool]1102-the brown - foaming mountain river fell and made a deep pool , and , after resting there for a while , ran on between broken rocks down to [the valley below]1103-the valley below . [The waterfall]1104-the waterfall was magnificent , as [she]81-ruth had anticipated ; [she]81-ruth longed to extend [her]81-ruth walk to [the other side of [the stream]553-the stream]1105-the other side of the stream , so [she]81-ruth sought the stepping - stones , the usual crossing - place , which were over - shadowed by trees , a few yards from [the pool]1107-the pool . The waters ran high and rapidly , as busy as life , between the pieces of grey rock ; but [Ruth]81-ruth had no fear , and went lightly and steadily on . About the middle , however , there was a great gap ; either one of the stones was so covered with water as to be invisible , or it had been washed lower down ; at any rate , the spring from stone to stone was long , and [Ruth]81-ruth hesitated for a moment before taking it . The sound of rushing waters was in [her]81-ruth ears to the exclusion of every other noise ; [her]81-ruth eyes were on the current running swiftly below [her]81-ruth feet ; and thus [she]81-ruth was startled to see [a figure close before [her]81-ruth on one of the stones]1108-a figure close before her on one of the stones , and to hear a voice offering help . [She]81-ruth looked up and saw [a man , who was apparently long past middle life , and of the stature of [a dwarf]1110-a dwarf]1109-a man , who was apparently long past middle life , and of the stature of a dwarf ; a second glance accounted for the low height of [the speaker]1111-the speaker , for then [she]81-ruth saw [he]1111-the speaker was deformed . As the consciousness of this infirmity came into [her]81-ruth mind , it must have told itself in [her]81-ruth softened eyes , for a faint flush of colour came into the pale face of [the deformed gentleman]1112-the deformed gentleman , as [he]1111-the speaker repeated [his]1111-the speaker words : " The water is very rapid ; will [you]81-ruth take [my]1111-the speaker hand ? Perhaps [I]1111-the speaker can help [you]81-ruth . "[1111-the speaker] [Ruth]81-ruth accepted the offer , and with this assistance [she]81-ruth was across in a moment . [He]1111-the speaker made way for [her]81-ruth to precede [him]1111-the speaker in [the narrow wood path]1113-the narrow wood path , and then silently followed [her]81-ruth up [the glen]1114-the glen . When [they]1115-they had passed out of the wood into [the pasture - land beyond]1116-the pasture - land beyond , [Ruth]81-ruth once more turned to mark [him]1111-the speaker . [She]81-ruth was struck afresh with the mild beauty of the face , though there was something in the countenance which told of the body 's deformity , something more and beyond the pallor of habitual ill - health , something of a quick spiritual light in the deep set - eyes , a sensibility about the mouth ; but altogether , though a peculiar , it was a most attractive face . " Will [you]81-ruth allow [me]1115-they to accompany [you]81-ruth if [you]81-ruth are going the round by [Cwm Dhu]20-cwm dhu , as [I]1115-they imagine [you]81-ruth are ? The hand - rail is blown away from the little wooden bridge by the storm last night , and the rush of waters below may make [you]81-ruth dizzy ; and it is really dangerous to fall there , [the stream]553-the stream is so deep . "[1115-they] [They]1115-they walked on without much speech . [She]81-ruth wondered who [[her]81-ruth companion]1117-her companion might be . [She]81-ruth should have known [him]1111-the speaker , if [she]81-ruth had seen [him]1111-the speaker among [the strangers at [the inn]1055-the inn]1118-the strangers at the inn ; and yet [he]1111-the speaker spoke English too well to be [a Welshman]1120-a welshman ; [he]1111-the speaker knew [the country]514-the country and [the paths]1122-the paths so perfectly , [he]1111-the speaker must be [a resident]1123-a resident ; and so [she]81-ruth tossed [him]1111-the speaker from [England]21-england to [Wales]22-wales and back again in [her]81-ruth imagination . " [I]1111-the speaker only came here yesterday , "[1111-the speaker] said [he]1111-the speaker , as a widening in [the path]806-the path permitted [them]1125-them to walk abreast . " Last night [I]1111-the speaker went to [the higher waterfalls]4447-the higher waterfalls ; [they]4447-the higher waterfalls are most splendid . "[1111-the speaker] " Did [you]1111-the speaker go out in all that rain ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , timidly . " Oh , yes . Rain never hinders [me]81-ruth from walking . Indeed , it gives a new beauty to [such a country]4448-such a country as this . Besides , [my]81-ruth time for [my]81-ruth excursion is so short , [I]81-ruth can not afford to waste a day . "[81-ruth] " Then , [you]1111-the speaker do not live [here]4172-here ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . " No ! [[my]81-ruth home]4450-my home is in a very different place . [I]81-ruth live in [a busy town]4451-a busy town , where at times it is difficult to feel the truth that There are in this loud stunning tide Of human care and crime , With whom the melodies abide Of th ' everlasting chime ; Who carry music in [their]4452-their heart Through [dusky lane]4453-dusky lane and [crowded mart]4454-crowded mart , Plying [their]4452-their task with busier feet , Because [their]4452-their secret souls a holy strain repeat . [I]81-ruth have an annual holiday , which [I]81-ruth generally spend in [Wales]22-wales ; and often in [this immediate neighbourhood]4455-this immediate neighbourhood . "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth do not wonder at [your]1111-the speaker choice , "[81-ruth] replied [Ruth]81-ruth . " It is [a beautiful country]4456-a beautiful country . "[81-ruth] " It is , indeed ; and [I]1126-he have been inoculated by [an old innkeeper at [Conway]23-conway with a love for [its]22-wales people]4457-an old innkeeper at conway with a love for its people , and history , and traditions . [I]1126-he have picked up enough of the language to understand many of [their]22-wales legends ; and some are very fine and awe - inspiring , others very poetic and fanciful . "[1126-he] [Ruth]81-ruth was too shy to keep up the conversation by any remark of [her]81-ruth own , although [his]1126-he gentle , pensive manner was very winning . " For instance , "[1126-he] said [he]1126-he , touching a long bud - laden stem of fox - glove in the hedge - side , at the bottom of which one or two crimson - speckled flowers were bursting from their green sheaths , " [I]1126-he dare say , [you]81-ruth do n't know what makes this fox - glove bend and sway so gracefully . [You]81-ruth think it is blown by the wind , do n't [you]81-ruth ? "[1126-he] [He]1126-he looked at [her]81-ruth with a grave smile , which did not enliven [his]1126-he thoughtful eyes , but gave an inexpressible sweetness to [his]1126-he face . " [I]81-ruth always thought it was the wind . What is it ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , innocently . " Oh , [the Welsh]127-the welsh tell [you]81-ruth that this flower is sacred to the fairies , and that it has the power of recognising [them]22-wales , and [all spiritual beings who pass by]4458-all spiritual beings who pass by , and that it bows in deference to [them]22-wales as [they]22-wales waft along . Its Welsh name is [Maneg Ellyllyn]128-maneg ellyllyn -- [the good people]4459-the good people 's glove ; and hence , [I]81-ruth imagine , [our]1127-our folk's - glove or fox - glove . "[81-ruth] " It 's a very pretty fancy , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , much interested , and wishing that [he]1126-he would go on , without expecting [her]81-ruth to reply . But [they]1127-our were already at [the wooden bridge]1128-the wooden bridge ; [he]1126-he led [her]81-ruth across , and then , bowing [his]1126-he adieu , [he]1126-he had taken a different path even before [Ruth]81-ruth had thanked [him]1126-he for [his]1126-he attention . It was an adventure to tell [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , however ; and it roused and amused [him]1126-he till dinner - time came , after which [he]1126-he sauntered forth with a cigar . " [Ruth]81-ruth , "[1126-he] said [he]1126-he , when [he]1126-he returned , " [I]1126-he 've seen [[your]81-ruth little hunchback]4460-your little hunchback . [He]4460-your little hunchback looks like [Riquet - with - the - Tuft]4461-riquet - with - the - tuft . [He]4460-your little hunchback 's not [a gentleman]1084-a gentleman , though . If it had not been for [his]4460-your little hunchback deformity , [I]1126-he should not have made [him]4460-your little hunchback out from [your]81-ruth description ; [you]81-ruth called [him]4460-your little hunchback [a gentleman]1084-a gentleman . "[1126-he] " And do n't [you]1126-he , [sir]4181-sir ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , surprised . " Oh , no ! [he]4460-your little hunchback 's regularly shabby and seedy in [his]4460-your little hunchback appearance ; lodging , too , [the ostler]4465-the ostler told [me]81-ruth , over that horrible candle and cheese shop , the smell of which is insufferable twenty yards off -- [no gentleman]4466-no gentleman could endure it ; [he]4460-your little hunchback must be [a traveller]4467-a traveller or [artist]4468-artist , or something of that kind . "[81-ruth] " Did [you]1126-he see [his]4460-your little hunchback face , [sir]4181-sir ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . " No ; but [a man]650-a man 's back -- [his]4460-your little hunchback _ tout ensemble _ has character enough in it to decide [his]4460-your little hunchback rank . "[81-ruth] " [His]4460-your little hunchback face was very singular ; quite beautiful ! "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , softly ; but the subject did not interest [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , and [he]94-mr bellingham let it drop . CHAPTER VI Troubles Gather About [Ruth]81-ruth The next day the weather was brave and glorious ; a perfect " bridal of [the earth]843-the earth and sky ; "[81-ruth] and [every one]1129-every one turned out of [the inn]1055-the inn to enjoy the fresh beauty of nature . [Ruth]81-ruth was quite unconscious of being the object of remark , and , in [her]81-ruth light , rapid passings to and fro , had never looked at the doors and windows , where [many watchers]1131-many watchers stood observing [her]81-ruth , and commenting upon [her]81-ruth situation or [her]81-ruth appearance . " [She]81-ruth 's [a very lovely creature]4472-a very lovely creature , "[1132-one gentleman] said [one gentleman]1132-one gentleman , rising from the breakfast - table to catch a glimpse of [her]81-ruth as [she]81-ruth entered from [her]81-ruth morning 's ramble . " Not above sixteen , [I]737-his wife should think . Very modest and innocent - looking in [her]81-ruth white gown ! "[737-his wife] [[His]1132-one gentleman wife]737-his wife , busy administering to the wants of [a fine little boy]1134-a fine little boy , could only say ( without seeing [the young girl]1017-the young girl 's modest ways , and gentle , downcast countenance ): " Well ! [I]861-the husband do think it 's a shame [such people]4473-such people should be allowed to come [here]4172-here . To think of such wickedness under the same roof ! Do come away , [[my]861-the husband dear]4145-my dear , and do n't flatter [her]737-his wife by such notice . "[861-the husband] [The husband]861-the husband returned to the breakfast - table ; [he]861-the husband smelt the broiled ham and eggs , and [he]861-the husband heard [[his]861-the husband wife]737-his wife 's commands . Whether smelling or hearing had most to do in causing [his]861-the husband obedience , [I]0-i can not tell ; perhaps [you]861-the husband can . " Now , [Harry]129-harry , go and see if [nurse]4476-nurse and [baby]4477-baby are ready to go out with [you]129-harry . [You]129-harry must lose no time this beautiful morning . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth found [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was not yet come down ; so [she]81-ruth sallied out for an additional half - hour 's ramble . Flitting about through [the village]1138-the village , trying to catch all the beautiful sunny peeps at the scenery between [the cold stone houses]1139-the cold stone houses , which threw the radiant distance into aĂ«rial perspective far away , [she]81-ruth passed by [the little shop]1140-the little shop ; and , just issuing from [it]1140-the little shop , came [the nurse]1141-the nurse and [baby]4477-baby , and [little boy]1143-little boy . [The baby]1144-the baby sat in placid dignity in [[her]1144-the baby nurse]1145-her nurse 's arms , with a face of queenly calm . [Her]1144-the baby fresh , soft , peachy complexion was really tempting ; and [Ruth]81-ruth , who was always fond of [children]1146-children , went up to coo and to smile at the little thing , and , after some " peep - boing , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth was about to snatch a kiss , when [Harry]129-harry , whose face had been reddening ever since the play began , lifted up [his]129-harry sturdy little right arm and hit [Ruth]81-ruth a great blow on the face . " Oh , for shame , [sir]4181-sir ! "[1141-the nurse] said [the nurse]1141-the nurse , snatching back [his]129-harry hand ; " how dare [you]4181-sir do that to [the lady who is so kind as to speak to [Sissy]130-sissy]4479-the lady who is so kind as to speak to sissy . "[1141-the nurse] " [She]4479-the lady who is so kind as to speak to sissy 's not [a lady]4480-a lady ! "[129-harry] said [he]129-harry , indignantly . " [She]4479-the lady who is so kind as to speak to sissy 's [a bad naughty girl]4481-a bad naughty girl -- [mamma]4143-mamma said so , [she]4143-mamma did ; and [she]4143-mamma sha n't kiss [[our]4483-our baby]4484-our baby . "[129-harry] [The nurse]1141-the nurse reddened in [her]1141-the nurse turn . [She]1141-the nurse knew what [he]129-harry must have heard ; but it was awkward to bring it out , standing face to face with [the elegant young lady]1149-the elegant young lady . " [Children]1146-children pick up such notions , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , "[1141-the nurse] said [she]1141-the nurse at last , apologetically , to [Ruth]81-ruth , who stood , white and still , with a new idea running through [her]81-ruth mind . " It 's no notion ; it 's true , [nurse]4476-nurse ; and [I]4189-the boy heard [you]81-ruth say it [yourself]81-ruth . Go away , [naughty woman]4488-naughty woman ! "[4189-the boy] said [the boy]4189-the boy , in infantile vehemence of passion to [Ruth]81-ruth . To [the nurse]1141-the nurse 's infinite relief , [Ruth]81-ruth turned away , humbly and meekly , with bent head , and slow , uncertain steps . But as [she]81-ruth turned , [she]81-ruth saw the mild sad face of [the deformed gentleman]1112-the deformed gentleman , who was sitting at the open window above [the shop]1153-the shop ; [he]1112-the deformed gentleman looked sadder and graver than ever ; and [his]1112-the deformed gentleman eyes met [her]81-ruth glance with an expression of deep sorrow . And so , condemned alike by youth and age , [she]81-ruth stole with timid step into [the house]426-the house . [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was awaiting [her]81-ruth coming in [the sitting - room]1155-the sitting - room . The glorious day restored all [his]94-mr bellingham buoyancy of spirits . [He]94-mr bellingham talked gaily away , without pausing for a reply ; while [Ruth]81-ruth made tea , and tried to calm [her]81-ruth heart , which was yet beating with the agitation of the new ideas [she]81-ruth had received from the occurrence of the morning . Luckily for [her]81-ruth , the only answers required for some time were mono - syllables ; but those few words were uttered in so depressed and mournful a tone , that at last they struck [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham with surprise and displeasure , as the condition of mind [they]1156-they unconsciously implied did not harmonise with [his]94-mr bellingham own . " [Ruth]81-ruth , what is the matter this morning ? [You]81-ruth really are very provoking . Yesterday , when everything was gloomy , and [you]81-ruth might have been aware that [I]94-mr bellingham was out of spirits , [I]94-mr bellingham heard nothing but expressions of delight ; to - day , when [every creature under heaven]4489-every creature under heaven is rejoicing , [you]81-ruth look most deplorable and woe - begone . [You]81-ruth really should learn to have a little sympathy . "[94-mr bellingham] The tears fell quickly down [Ruth]81-ruth 's cheeks , but [she]81-ruth did not speak . [She]81-ruth could not put into words the sense [she]81-ruth was just beginning to entertain of the estimation in which [she]81-ruth was henceforward to be held . [She]81-ruth thought [he]94-mr bellingham would be as much grieved as [she]81-ruth was at what had taken place that morning ; [she]81-ruth fancied [she]81-ruth should sink in [his]94-mr bellingham opinion if [she]81-ruth told [him]94-mr bellingham how [others]368-others regarded [her]81-ruth ; besides , it seemed ungenerous to dilate upon the suffering of which [he]94-mr bellingham was the cause . " [I]81-ruth will not , "[81-ruth] thought [she]81-ruth , " embitter [his]94-mr bellingham life ; [I]81-ruth will try and be cheerful . [I]81-ruth must not think of [myself]81-ruth so much . If [I]81-ruth can but make [him]94-mr bellingham happy , what need [I]81-ruth care for chance speeches ? "[81-ruth] Accordingly , [she]81-ruth made every effort possible to be as light - hearted as [he]94-mr bellingham was ; but , somehow , the moment [she]81-ruth relaxed , thoughts would intrude , and wonders would force themselves upon [her]81-ruth mind ; so that altogether [she]81-ruth was not the gay and bewitching companion [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham had previously found [her]81-ruth . [They]1158-they sauntered out for a walk . The path [they]1158-they chose led to a wood on [the side of [a hill]1160-a hill]1159-the side of a hill , and [they]1158-they entered , glad of the shade of the trees . At first , [it]1161-it appeared like [any common grove]1162-any common grove , but [they]1158-they soon came to a deep descent , on the summit of which [they]1158-they stood , looking down on the tree - tops , which were softly waving far beneath [their]1158-they feet . There was a path leading sharp down , and [they]1158-they followed it ; the ledge of rock made it almost like going down steps , and [their]1158-they walk grew into a bounding , and [their]1158-they bounding into a run , before [they]1158-they reached the lowest plane . A green gloom reigned there ; it was the still hour of noon ; the little birds were quiet in some leafy shade . [They]1158-they went on a few yards , and then [they]1158-they came to a circular pool overshadowed by the trees , whose highest boughs had been beneath [their]1158-they feet a few minutes before . [The pond]1163-the pond was hardly below the surface of the ground , and there was nothing like a bank on any side . [A heron]1164-a heron was standing there motionless , but when [he]1164-a heron saw [them]1165-them [he]1164-a heron flapped [his]1164-a heron wings and slowly rose , and soared above the green heights of the wood up into the very sky itself , for at that depth the trees appeared to touch the round white clouds which brooded over [the earth]843-the earth . The speed - well grew in [the shallowest water of [the pool]1107-the pool]1167-the shallowest water of the pool , and all around [its]1107-the pool margin , but the flowers were hardly seen at first , so deep was the green shadow cast by the trees . In the very middle of [the pond]1163-the pond the sky was mirrored clear and dark , a blue which looked as if a black void lay behind . " Oh , there are water - lilies , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , [her]81-ruth eye catching on the farther side . " [I]81-ruth must go and get some . "[81-ruth] " No ; [I]1170-he will get them for [you]81-ruth . [The ground]934-the ground is spongy all round there . Sit still , [Ruth]81-ruth ; this heap of grass will make a capital seat . "[1170-he] [He]1170-he went round , and [she]81-ruth waited quietly for [his]1170-he return . When [he]1170-he came back [he]1170-he took off [her]81-ruth bonnet , without speaking , and began to place [his]1170-he flowers in [her]81-ruth hair . [She]81-ruth was quite still while [he]1170-he arranged [her]81-ruth coronet , looking up in [his]1170-he face with loving eyes , with a peaceful composure . [She]81-ruth knew that [he]1170-he was pleased from [his]1170-he manner , which had the joyousness of [a child playing with a new toy]1171-a child playing with a new toy , and [she]81-ruth did not think twice of [his]1170-he occupation . It was pleasant to forget everything except [his]1170-he pleasure . When [he]1170-he had decked [her]81-ruth out , [he]1170-he said : " There , [Ruth]81-ruth ! now [you]81-ruth 'll do . Come and look at [yourself]81-ruth in [the pond]1163-the pond . Here , where there are no weeds . Come . "[1170-he] [She]81-ruth obeyed , and could not help seeing [her]81-ruth own loveliness ; it gave [her]81-ruth a sense of satisfaction for an instant , as the sight of any other beautiful object would have done , but [she]81-ruth never thought of associating it with [herself]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth knew that [she]81-ruth was beautiful ; but that seemed abstract , and removed from [herself]81-ruth . [Her]81-ruth existence was in feeling , and thinking , and loving . Down in [that green hollow]1172-that green hollow [they]1173-they were quite in harmony . [Her]81-ruth beauty was all that [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham cared for , and it was supreme . It was all [he]1170-he recognised of [her]81-ruth , and [he]1170-he was proud of it . [She]81-ruth stood in [her]81-ruth white dress against the trees which grew around ; [her]81-ruth face was flushed into a brilliancy of colour which resembled that of a rose in June ; the great heavy white flowers drooped on either side of [her]81-ruth beautiful head , and if [her]81-ruth brown hair was a little disordered , the very disorder only seemed to add a grace . [She]81-ruth pleased [him]1170-he more by looking so lovely than by all [her]81-ruth tender endeavours to fall in with [his]1170-he varying humour . But when [they]1173-they left [the wood]926-the wood , and [Ruth]81-ruth had taken out [her]81-ruth flowers , and resumed [her]81-ruth bonnet , as [they]1173-they came near [the inn]1055-the inn , the simple thought of giving [him]1170-he pleasure was not enough to secure [Ruth]81-ruth 's peace . [She]81-ruth became pensive and sad , and could not rally into gaiety . " Really , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[1170-he] said [he]1170-he , that evening , " [you]81-ruth must not encourage [yourself]81-ruth in this habit of falling into melancholy reveries without any cause . [You]81-ruth have been sighing twenty times during the last half - hour . Do be a little cheerful . Remember , [I]1170-he have [no companion]4492-no companion but [you]81-ruth in this out - of - the - way place . "[1170-he] " [I]81-ruth am very sorry , [sir]4181-sir , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , [her]81-ruth eyes filling with tears ; and then [she]81-ruth remembered that it was very dull for [him]1170-he to be alone with [her]81-ruth , heavy - hearted as [she]81-ruth had been all day . [She]81-ruth said in a sweet , penitent tone : " Would [you]4181-sir be so kind as to teach [me]81-ruth one of those games at cards [you]4181-sir were speaking about yesterday , [sir]4181-sir ? [I]81-ruth would do [my]81-ruth best to learn . "[81-ruth] [Her]81-ruth soft , murmuring voice won its way . They rang for the cards , and [he]1170-he soon forgot that there was such a thing as depression or gloom in [the world]506-the world , in the pleasure of teaching such a beautiful ignoramus the mysteries of card - playing . " There ! "[1170-he] said [he]1170-he , at last , " that 's enough for one lesson . Do [you]81-ruth know , [little goose]4495-little goose , [your]81-ruth blunders have made [me]1170-he laugh [myself]1170-he into one of the worst headaches [I]1170-he have had for years . "[1170-he] [He]1170-he threw [himself]1170-he on the sofa , and in an instant [she]81-ruth was by [his]1170-he side . " Let [me]81-ruth put [my]81-ruth cool hands on [your]1170-he forehead , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth begged ; " that used to do [mamma]113-mamma good . "[81-ruth] [He]1170-he lay still , [his]1170-he face away from the light , and not speaking . Presently [he]1170-he fell asleep . [Ruth]81-ruth put out the candles , and sat patiently by [him]1170-he for a long time , fancying [he]1170-he would awaken refreshed . [The room]357-the room grew cool in the night air ; but [Ruth]81-ruth dared not rouse [him]1170-he from what appeared to be sound , restoring slumber . [She]81-ruth covered [him]1170-he with [her]81-ruth shawl , which [she]81-ruth had thrown over a chair on coming in from [their]1178-their twilight ramble . [She]81-ruth had ample time to think ; but [she]81-ruth tried to banish thought . At last , [his]1170-he breathing became quick and oppressed , and , after listening to it for some minutes with increasing affright , [Ruth]81-ruth ventured to waken [him]1170-he . [He]1170-he seemed stupified and shivery . [Ruth]81-ruth became more and more terrified ; all [the household]1179-the household were asleep except [one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little English [she]1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours had knowledge of in more waking hours]1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours , and [she]1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours could only answer , " Iss , indeed , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , "[1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours] to any question put to [her]1180-one servant - girl , who was wearied out of what little english she had knowledge of in more waking hours by [Ruth]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth sat by the bedside all night long . [He]1170-he moaned and tossed , but never spoke sensibly . It was a new form of illness to [the miserable Ruth]1181-the miserable ruth . [Her]81-ruth yesterday 's suffering went into the black distance of long - past years . The present was all - in - all . When [she]81-ruth heard [people]322-people stirring , [she]81-ruth went in search of [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan , whose shrewd , sharp manners , unsoftened by inward respect for [the poor girl]1183-the poor girl , had awed [Ruth]81-ruth even when [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was by to protect [her]81-ruth . " [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , sitting down in [the little parlour appropriated to [the landlady]1072-the landlady]1184-the little parlour appropriated to the landlady , for [she]81-ruth felt [her]81-ruth strength suddenly desert her--"Mrs [Morgan]122-mrs morgan , [I]81-ruth 'm afraid [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham is very ill;"--here[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth burst into tears , but instantly checking [herself]81-ruth , " Oh , what must [I]81-ruth do ? "[81-ruth] continued [she]81-ruth ; " [I]81-ruth do n't think [he]94-mr bellingham has known anything all through the night , and [he]94-mr bellingham looks so strange and wild this morning . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth gazed up into [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan 's face , as if reading an oracle . " Indeed , [miss]4384-miss , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , and it 's a very awkward thing . But do n't cry , that can do no good , ' deed it ca n't . [I]81-ruth 'll go and see [the poor young man]4499-the poor young man [myself]81-ruth , and then [I]81-ruth can judge if [a doctor]4186-a doctor is wanting . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth followed [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan [upstairs]1186-upstairs . When [they]1187-they entered [the sick - room]1188-the sick - room [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was sitting up in bed , looking wildly about [him]94-mr bellingham , and as [he]94-mr bellingham saw [them]1187-they , [he]94-mr bellingham exclaimed : " [Ruth]81-ruth ! [Ruth]81-ruth ! come here ; [I]94-mr bellingham wo n't be left alone ! "[94-mr bellingham] and then [he]94-mr bellingham fell down exhausted on the pillow . [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan went up and spoke to [him]94-mr bellingham , but [he]94-mr bellingham did not answer or take any notice . " [I]122-mrs morgan 'll send for [Mr Jones]131-mr jones , [[my]122-mrs morgan dear]4145-my dear , ' deed and [I]122-mrs morgan will ; [we]1187-they 'll have [him]94-mr bellingham [here]4172-here in a couple of hours , please [God]104-leonard . "[122-mrs morgan] " Oh , ca n't [he]94-mr bellingham come sooner ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , wild with terror . " ' Deed no ; [he]94-mr bellingham lives at LlanglĂąs when [he]94-mr bellingham 's at [home]4124-home , and that 's seven mile away , and [he]94-mr bellingham may be gone a round eight or nine mile on the other side LlanglĂąs ; but [I]122-mrs morgan 'll send [a boy on the pony]4504-a boy on the pony directly . "[122-mrs morgan] Saying this , [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan left [Ruth]81-ruth alone . There was nothing to be done , for [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham had again fallen into a heavy sleep . Sounds of daily life began , bells rang , breakfast - services clattered up and down [the passages]1189-the passages , and [Ruth]81-ruth sat on shivering by the bedside in [that darkened room]1190-that darkened room . [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan sent [her]122-mrs morgan breakfast [upstairs]1186-upstairs by [a chambermaid]1192-a chambermaid , but [Ruth]81-ruth motioned it away in [her]81-ruth sick agony , and [the girl]1016-the girl had no right to urge [her]81-ruth to partake of it . That alone broke the monotony of the long morning . [She]81-ruth heard the sound of [merry parties setting out on excursions]1194-merry parties setting out on excursions , on horseback or in [carriages]1195-carriages ; and once , stiff and wearied , [she]81-ruth stole to the window , and looked out on one side of the blind ; but the day looked bright and discordant to [her]81-ruth aching , anxious heart . The gloom of [the darkened room]1196-the darkened room was better and more befitting . It was some hours after [he]94-mr bellingham was summoned before [the doctor]4191-the doctor made [his]94-mr bellingham appearance . [He]94-mr bellingham questioned [[his]94-mr bellingham patient]344-his patient , and , receiving no coherent answers , [he]94-mr bellingham asked [Ruth]81-ruth concerning the symptoms ; but when [she]81-ruth questioned [him]94-mr bellingham in turn [he]94-mr bellingham only shook [his]94-mr bellingham head and looked grave . [He]94-mr bellingham made a sign to [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan to follow [him]94-mr bellingham out of [the room]357-the room , and [they]1200-we went down to [[her]122-mrs morgan parlour]1201-her parlour , leaving [Ruth]81-ruth in a depth of despair , lower than [she]81-ruth could have thought it possible there remained for [her]81-ruth to experience , an hour before . " [I]131-mr jones am afraid this is a bad case , "[131-mr jones] said [Mr Jones]131-mr jones to [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan in [Welsh]127-the welsh . " A brain - fever has evidently set in . "[131-mr jones] " [Poor young gentleman]4505-poor young gentleman ! [poor young man]4506-poor young man ! [He]4506-poor young man looked the very picture of health ! "[131-mr jones] " That very appearance of robustness will , in all probability , make [his]94-mr bellingham disorder more violent . However , [we]1200-we must hope for the best , [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan . Who is to attend upon [him]94-mr bellingham ? [He]94-mr bellingham will require careful nursing . Is [that young lady [[his]94-mr bellingham sister]4508-his sister]4507-that young lady his sister ? [She]4507-that young lady his sister looks too young to be [[his]94-mr bellingham wife]737-his wife ? "[131-mr jones] " No , indeed ! Gentlemen like [you]131-mr jones must know , [Mr Jones]131-mr jones , that [we]1200-we ca n't always look too closely into the ways of [young men who come to [[our]1200-we houses]4511-our houses]4510-young men who come to our houses . Not but what [I]1202-i 'm sorry for [her]4507-that young lady his sister , for [she]4507-that young lady his sister 's [an innocent , inoffensive young creature]4512-an innocent , inoffensive young creature . [I]1202-i always think it right , for [my]1202-i own morals , to put a little scorn into [my]1202-i manners when such as [her]4507-that young lady his sister come to stay [here]4172-here ; but , indeed , [she]4507-that young lady his sister 's so gentle , [I]1202-i 've found it hard work to show the proper contempt . "[1202-i] [She]1202-i would have gone on to [her]1202-i inattentive listener if [she]1202-i had not heard a low tap at the door , which recalled [her]1202-i from [her]1202-i morality , and [Mr Jones]131-mr jones from [his]131-mr jones consideration of the necessary prescriptions . " Come in ! "[122-mrs morgan] said [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan , sharply . And [Ruth]81-ruth came in . [She]81-ruth was white and trembling ; but [she]81-ruth stood in that dignity which strong feeling , kept down by self - command , always imparts . " [I]81-ruth wish [you]131-mr jones , [sir]4181-sir , to be so kind as to tell [me]81-ruth , clearly and distinctly , what [I]81-ruth must do for [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham . Every direction [you]131-mr jones give [me]81-ruth shall be most carefully attended to . [You]131-mr jones spoke about leeches -- [I]81-ruth can put them on , and see about them . Tell [me]81-ruth everything , [sir]4181-sir , that [you]131-mr jones wish to have done ! "[81-ruth] [Her]81-ruth manner was calm and serious , and [her]81-ruth countenance and deportment showed that the occasion was calling out strength sufficient to meet it . [Mr Jones]131-mr jones spoke with a deference which [he]131-mr jones had not thought of using [upstairs]1186-upstairs , even while [he]131-mr jones supposed [her]81-ruth to be [the sister of [the invalid]738-the invalid]1204-the sister of the invalid . [Ruth]81-ruth listened gravely ; [she]81-ruth repeated some of the injunctions , in order that [she]81-ruth might be sure that [she]81-ruth fully comprehended them , and then , bowing , left [the room]357-the room . " [She]81-ruth is [no common person]4516-no common person , "[131-mr jones] said [Mr Jones]131-mr jones . " Still [she]81-ruth is too young to have the responsibility of such a serious case . Have [you]131-mr jones any idea where [[his]131-mr jones friends]4517-his friends live , [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan ? "[131-mr jones] " Indeed and [I]81-ruth have . [[His]131-mr jones mother]655-his mother , as haughty a lady as [you]131-mr jones would wish to see , came travelling through [Wales]22-wales last year ; [she]655-his mother stopped [here]4172-here , and , [I]81-ruth warrant [you]131-mr jones , nothing was good enough for [her]655-his mother ; [she]655-his mother was real quality . [She]655-his mother left some clothes and books behind [her]655-his mother ( for [the maid]4520-the maid was almost as fine as [the mistress]4521-the mistress , and little thought of seeing after [[her]655-his mother lady]4522-her lady 's clothes , having a taste for going to see scenery along with [the man - servant]4523-the man - servant ) , and [we]4524-we had several letters from [her]655-his mother . [I]81-ruth have them locked in the drawers in the bar , where [I]81-ruth keep such things . "[81-ruth] " Well ! [I]81-ruth should recommend [your]131-mr jones writing to [the lady]470-the lady , and telling [her]470-the lady [[her]470-the lady son]990-her son 's state . "[81-ruth] " It would be a favour , [Mr Jones]131-mr jones , if [you]131-mr jones would just write it [yourself]131-mr jones . English writing comes so strange to [my]131-mr jones pen . "[131-mr jones] The letter was written , and , in order to save time , [Mr Jones]131-mr jones took it to [the LlanglĂąs post - office]1207-the llanglĂąs post - office . CHAPTER VII The Crisis -- Watching and Waiting [Ruth]81-ruth put away every thought of the past or future ; everything that could unfit [her]81-ruth for the duties of the present . Exceeding love supplied the place of experience . [She]81-ruth never left [the room]357-the room after the first day ; [she]81-ruth forced [herself]81-ruth to eat , because [his]1209-his service needed [her]81-ruth strength . [She]81-ruth did not indulge in any tears , because the weeping [she]81-ruth longed for would make [her]81-ruth less able to attend upon [him]1209-his . [She]81-ruth watched , and waited , and prayed : prayed with an utter forgetfulness of self , only with a consciousness that [God]104-leonard was all - powerful , and that [he]1209-his , whom [she]81-ruth loved so much , needed the aid of [the Mighty One]1210-the mighty one . Day and night , the summer night , seemed merged into one . [She]81-ruth lost count of time in [the hushed and darkened room]1211-the hushed and darkened room . One morning [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan beckoned [her]81-ruth out ; and [she]81-ruth stole on tiptoe into [the dazzling gallery]1212-the dazzling gallery , on one side of which [the bedrooms]1213-the bedrooms opened . " [She]96-mrs bellingham 's come , "[122-mrs morgan] whispered [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan , looking very much excited , and forgetting that [Ruth]81-ruth had never heard that [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham had been summoned . " Who is come ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . The idea of [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason flashed through [her]81-ruth mind -- but with a more terrible , because a more vague dread , [she]81-ruth heard that it was [[his]1209-his mother]655-his mother ; [the mother of whom [he]1209-his had always spoken as [a person whose opinion was to be regarded more than that of any other individual]1216-a person whose opinion was to be regarded more than that of any other individual]1215-the mother of whom he had always spoken as a person whose opinion was to be regarded more than that of any other individual . " What must [I]81-ruth do ? Will [she]122-mrs morgan be angry with [me]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , relapsing into [her]81-ruth child - like dependence on [others]368-others ; and feeling that even [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan was [some one]378-some one to stand between [her]81-ruth and [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham . [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan [herself]122-mrs morgan was a little perplexed . [[Her]122-mrs morgan morality]1219-her morality was rather shocked at the idea of [a proper real lady]1220-a proper real lady like [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham discovering that [she]96-mrs bellingham had winked at the connexion between [[her]96-mrs bellingham son]990-her son and [Ruth]81-ruth . [She]122-mrs morgan was quite inclined to encourage [Ruth]81-ruth in [her]81-ruth inclination to shrink out of [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham 's observation , an inclination which arose from no definite consciousness of having done wrong , but principally from the representations [she]122-mrs morgan had always heard of [the lady]470-the lady 's awfulness . [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham swept into [[[her]96-mrs bellingham son]990-her son 's room]1224-her son 's room as if [she]96-mrs bellingham were unconscious what poor young creature had lately haunted [it]1224-her son 's room ; while [Ruth]81-ruth hurried into [some unoccupied bedroom]1225-some unoccupied bedroom , and , alone there , [she]81-ruth felt [her]81-ruth self - restraint suddenly give way , and burst into the saddest , most utterly wretched weeping [she]81-ruth had ever known . [She]81-ruth was worn out with watching , and exhausted by passionate crying , and [she]81-ruth lay down on the bed and fell asleep . The day passed on ; [she]81-ruth slumbered unnoticed and unregarded ; [she]81-ruth awoke late in the evening with a sense of having done wrong in sleeping so long ; the strain upon [her]81-ruth responsibility had not yet left [her]81-ruth . Twilight was closing fast around ; [she]81-ruth waited until it had become night , and then [she]81-ruth stole down to [[Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan 's parlour]1226-mrs morgan 's parlour . " If [you]85-jenny please , may [I]81-ruth come in ? "[81-ruth] asked [she]81-ruth . [Jenny Morgan]85-jenny was doing up the hieroglyphics which [she]85-jenny called [her]85-jenny accounts ; [she]85-jenny answered sharply enough , but it was a permission to enter , and [Ruth]81-ruth was thankful for it . " Will [you]85-jenny tell [me]85-jenny how [he]4527-he is ? Do [you]85-jenny think [I]85-jenny may go back to [him]4527-he ? "[85-jenny] " No , indeed , that [you]85-jenny may not . [Nest]132-nest , who has made [[his]4527-he room]4528-his room tidy these many days , is not fit to go in now . [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham has brought [[her]96-mrs bellingham own maid]4529-her own maid , and [the family nurse]4530-the family nurse , and [[Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's man]4531-mr bellingham 's man ; such a tribe of [servants and no end to packages]4532-servants and no end to packages ; water - beds coming by [the carrier]4533-the carrier , and [a doctor from [London]3-london]4534-a doctor from london coming down to - morrow , as if feather - beds and [Mr Jones]131-mr jones was not good enough . Why , [she]96-mrs bellingham wo n't let a soul of [us]4535-us into [the room]357-the room ; there 's no chance for [you]85-jenny ! "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth sighed . " How is [he]131-mr jones ? "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth inquired , after a pause . " How can [I]1227-i tell indeed , when [I]1227-i 'm not allowed to go near [him]131-mr jones ? [Mr Jones]131-mr jones said to - night was a turning point ; but [I]1227-i doubt it , for it is four days since [he]131-mr jones was taken ill , and who ever heard of [a sick person taking a turn on an even number of days]4537-a sick person taking a turn on an even number of days ; it 's always on the third , or the fifth , or seventh , or so on . [He]131-mr jones 'll not turn till to - morrow night , take [my]1227-i word for it , and [[their]4538-their fine [London]3-london doctor]4539-their fine london doctor will get all the credit , and [honest Mr Jones]131-mr jones will be thrown aside . [I]1227-i do n't think [he]131-mr jones will get better [myself]1227-i , though -- [Gelert]133-gelert does not howl for nothing . [My]1227-i patience ! what 's the matter with [the girl?--lord]4540-the girl?--lord , [child]895-child , [you]895-child 're never going to faint , and be ill on [my]1227-i hands ? "[1227-i] [Her]1227-i sharp voice recalled [Ruth]81-ruth from the sick unconsciousness that had been creeping over [her]81-ruth as [she]81-ruth listened to the latter part of this speech . [She]81-ruth sat down and could not speak -- [the room]357-the room whirled round and round -- [her]81-ruth white feebleness touched [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan 's heart . " [You]895-child 've had no tea , [I]81-ruth guess . Indeed , and [the girls]414-the girls are very careless . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth rang the bell with energy , and seconded [her]81-ruth pull by going to the door and shouting out sharp directions , in Welsh , to [Nest]132-nest and [Gwen]134-gwen , and [three or four other rough , kind , slatternly servants]1229-three or four other rough , kind , slatternly servants . [They]1230-they brought [her]81-ruth tea , which was comfortable , according to the idea of comfort prevalent in that rude , hospitable place ; there was plenty to eat , too much , indeed , for it revolted the appetite it was intended to provoke . But the heartiness with which [the kind , rosy waiter]1231-the kind , rosy waiter pressed [her]81-ruth to eat , and the scolding [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan gave [her]81-ruth when [she]81-ruth found the buttered toast untouched ( toast on which [she]81-ruth had [herself]81-ruth desired that the butter might not be spared ) , did [Ruth]81-ruth more good than the tea . [She]81-ruth began to hope , and to long for the morning when hope might have become certainty . It was all in vain that [she]81-ruth was told that [the room [she]81-ruth had been in all day]1232-the room she had been in all day was at [her]81-ruth service ; [she]81-ruth did not say a word , but [she]81-ruth was not going to bed that night , of all nights in the year , when life or death hung trembling in the balance . [She]81-ruth went into [the bedroom]1233-the bedroom till [the bustling house]1234-the bustling house was still , and heard busy feet passing to and fro in [the room]357-the room [she]81-ruth might not enter ; and voices , imperious , though hushed down to a whisper , ask for innumerable things . Then there was silence ; and when [she]81-ruth thought that [all were dead asleep]1236-all were dead asleep , except [the watchers]1237-the watchers , [she]81-ruth stole out into [the gallery]1238-the gallery . On the other side were two windows , cut into the thick stone wall , and flower pots were placed on the shelves thus formed , where great , untrimmed , straggling geraniums grew , and strove to reach the light . The window near [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham 's door was open ; the soft , warm - scented night air came sighing in in faint gusts , and then was still . It was summer ; there was no black darkness in the twenty - four hours ; only the light grew dusky , and colour disappeared from objects , of which the shape and form remained distinct . A soft grey oblong of barred light fell on the flat wall opposite to the windows , and deeper grey shadows marked out the tracery of the plants , more graceful thus than in reality . [Ruth]81-ruth crouched where no light fell . [She]81-ruth sat on the ground close by the door ; [her]81-ruth whole existence was absorbed in listening ; all was still ; it was only [her]81-ruth heart beating with the strong , heavy , regular sound of a hammer . [She]81-ruth wished [she]81-ruth could stop its rushing , incessant clang . [She]81-ruth heard a rustle of a silken gown , and knew it ought not to have been worn in [a sick - room]1239-a sick - room ; for [her]81-ruth senses seemed to have passed into the keeping of [the invalid]738-the invalid , and to feel only as [he]738-the invalid felt . The noise was probably occasioned by some change of posture in [the watcher inside]1241-the watcher inside , for it was once more dead - still . The soft wind outside sank with a low , long , distant moan among the windings of [the hills]1242-the hills , and lost itself there , and came no more again . But [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart beat loud . [She]81-ruth rose with as little noise as if [she]81-ruth were a vision , and crept to the open window to try and lose the nervous listening for the ever - recurring sound . Out beyond , under the calm sky , veiled with a mist rather than with a cloud , rose the high , dark outlines of [the mountains]1090-the mountains , shutting in [that village]1244-that village as if it lay in a nest . [They]1245-they stood , like [giants]1246-giants , solemnly watching for the end of [Earth]25-earth and Time . Here and there a black round shadow reminded [Ruth]81-ruth of some " Cwm , "[81-ruth] or hollow , where [she]81-ruth and [[her]81-ruth lover]1247-her lover had rambled in sun and in gladness . [She]81-ruth then thought [the land]1248-the land enchanted into everlasting brightness and happiness ; [she]81-ruth fancied , then , that into [a region so lovely no bale or woe could enter]1249-a region so lovely no bale or woe could enter , but would be charmed away and disappear before the sight of [the glorious guardian mountains]1250-the glorious guardian mountains . Now [she]81-ruth knew the truth , [that earth]1251-that earth has no barrier which avails against agony . It comes lightning - like down from [heaven]1252-heaven , into [the mountain house]1253-the mountain house and [the town garret]1254-the town garret ; into [the palace]1255-the palace and into [the cottage]588-the cottage . [The garden]783-the garden lay close under [the house]426-the house ; a bright spot enough by day ; for in [that soil]1259-that soil , whatever was planted grew and blossomed in spite of neglect . The white roses glimmered out in the dusk all the night through ; the red were lost in shadow . Between the low boundary of [the garden]783-the garden and [the hills]1242-the hills swept [one or two green meadows]1262-one or two green meadows ; [Ruth]81-ruth looked into the grey darkness till [she]81-ruth traced each separate wave of outline . Then [she]81-ruth heard a little restless bird chirp out its wakefulness from a nest in the ivy round the walls of [the house]426-the house . But [the mother - bird]1264-the mother - bird spread [her]1264-the mother - bird soft feathers , and hushed it into silence . Presently , however , many little birds began to scent the coming dawn , and rustled among the leaves , and chirruped loud and clear . Just above the horizon , too , the mist became a silvery grey cloud hanging on the edge of [the world]506-the world ; presently it turned shimmering white ; and then , in an instant , it flushed into rose , and [the mountain - tops]1266-the mountain - tops sprang into [heaven]1252-heaven , and bathed in the presence of the shadow of [God]104-leonard . With a bound , the sun of a molten fiery red came above the horizon , and immediately thousands of little birds sang out for joy , and a soft chorus of mysterious , glad murmurs came forth from [the earth]843-the earth ; the low whispering wind left its hiding - place among the clefts and hollows of [the hills]1242-the hills , and wandered among the rustling herbs and trees , waking the flower - buds to the life of another day . [Ruth]81-ruth gave a sigh of relief that the night was over and gone ; for [she]81-ruth knew that soon suspense would be ended , and the verdict known , whether for life or for death . [She]81-ruth grew faint and sick with anxiety ; it almost seemed as if [she]81-ruth must go into [the room]357-the room and learn the truth . Then [she]81-ruth heard movements , but they were not sharp or rapid , as if prompted by any emergency ; then , again , it was still . [She]81-ruth sat curled up upon the floor , with [her]81-ruth head thrown back against the wall , and [her]81-ruth hands clasped round [her]81-ruth knees . [She]81-ruth had yet to wait . Meanwhile , [the invalid]738-the invalid was slowly rousing [himself]738-the invalid from a long , deep , sound , health - giving sleep . [[His]738-the invalid mother]655-his mother had sat by [him]738-the invalid the night through , and was now daring to change [her]655-his mother position for the first time ; [she]655-his mother was even venturing to give directions in a low voice to [the old nurse]1273-the old nurse , who had dozed away in an arm - chair , ready to obey any summons of [[her]1273-the old nurse mistress]1274-her mistress . [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham went on tiptoe towards the door , and chiding [herself]96-mrs bellingham because [her]96-mrs bellingham stiff , weary limbs made some slight noise . [She]96-mrs bellingham had an irrepressible longing for a few minutes ' change of scene after [her]96-mrs bellingham night of watching . [She]96-mrs bellingham felt that the crisis was over ; and the relief to [her]96-mrs bellingham mind made [her]96-mrs bellingham conscious of every bodily feeling and irritation , which had passed unheeded as long as [she]96-mrs bellingham had been in suspense . [She]96-mrs bellingham slowly opened the door . [Ruth]81-ruth sprang upright at the first sound of the creaking handle . [Her]81-ruth very lips were stiff and unpliable with the force of the blood which rushed to [her]81-ruth head . It seemed as if [she]81-ruth could not form words . [She]81-ruth stood right before [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham . " How is [he]990-her son , [madam]4543-madam ? "[81-ruth] [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham was for a moment surprised at the white apparition which seemed to rise out of the ground . But [her]96-mrs bellingham quick , proud mind understood it all in an instant . This was [the girl]1016-the girl , then , whose profligacy had led [[her]96-mrs bellingham son]990-her son astray ; had raised up barriers in the way of [her]96-mrs bellingham favourite scheme of [his]990-her son marriage with [Miss Duncombe]95-miss duncombe ; nay , this was the real cause of [his]990-her son illness , [his]990-her son mortal danger at this present time , and of [her]96-mrs bellingham bitter , keen anxiety . If , under any circumstances , [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham could have been guilty of the ill - breeding of not answering a question , it was now ; and for a moment [she]96-mrs bellingham was tempted to pass on in silence . [Ruth]81-ruth could not wait ; [she]81-ruth spoke again : " For the love of [God]104-leonard , [madam]4543-madam , speak ! How is [he]990-her son ? Will [he]990-her son live ? "[81-ruth] If [she]96-mrs bellingham did not answer [her]96-mrs bellingham , [she]81-ruth thought [the creature]1277-the creature was desperate enough to force [her]81-ruth way into [[his]990-her son room]4528-his room . So [she]81-ruth spoke . " [He]990-her son has slept well : [he]990-her son is better . "[81-ruth] " Oh ! [[my]81-ruth God]867-my god , [I]81-ruth thank [Thee]104-leonard , "[81-ruth] murmured [Ruth]81-ruth , sinking back against the wall . It was too much to hear [this wretched girl]1279-this wretched girl thanking [God]104-leonard for [[her]1279-this wretched girl son]990-her son 's life ; as if , in fact , [she]1279-this wretched girl had any lot or part in [him]990-her son , and to dare to speak to [the Almighty]1281-the almighty on [[her]1279-this wretched girl son]990-her son 's behalf ! [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham looked at [her]81-ruth with cold , contemptuous eyes , whose glances were like ice - bolts , and made [Ruth]81-ruth shiver up away from [them]1283-them . " [Young woman]4546-young woman , if [you]81-ruth have any propriety or decency left , [I]96-mrs bellingham trust that [you]81-ruth will not dare to force [yourself]81-ruth into [[his]94-mr bellingham room]4528-his room . "[96-mrs bellingham] [She]96-mrs bellingham stood for a moment as if awaiting an answer , and half expecting it to be a defiance . But [she]96-mrs bellingham did not understand [Ruth]81-ruth . [She]96-mrs bellingham did not imagine the faithful trustfulness of [her]96-mrs bellingham heart . [Ruth]81-ruth believed that if [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham was alive and likely to live , all was well . When [he]94-mr bellingham wanted [her]81-ruth , [he]94-mr bellingham would send for [her]81-ruth , ask for [her]81-ruth , yearn for [her]81-ruth , till [every one]1129-every one would yield before [his]94-mr bellingham steadfast will . At present [she]81-ruth imagined that [he]94-mr bellingham was probably too weak to care or know who was about [him]94-mr bellingham ; and though it would have been an infinite delight to [her]81-ruth to hover and brood around [him]94-mr bellingham , yet it was of [him]94-mr bellingham [she]81-ruth thought and not of [herself]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth gently drew [herself]81-ruth on one side to make way for [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham to pass . By - and - by [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan came up . [Ruth]81-ruth was still near the door , from which it seemed as if [she]81-ruth could not tear [herself]81-ruth away . " Indeed , [miss]4384-miss , and [you]4384-miss must not hang about the door in this way ; it is not pretty manners . [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham has been speaking very sharp and cross about it , and [I]81-ruth shall lose the character of [[my]81-ruth inn]4549-my inn if [people]322-people take to talking as [she]96-mrs bellingham does . Did not [I]81-ruth give [you]4384-miss [a room]4551-a room last night to keep in , and never be seen or heard of ; and did [I]81-ruth not tell [you]4384-miss what [a particular lady]4552-a particular lady [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham was , but [you]4384-miss must come out here right in [her]96-mrs bellingham way ? Indeed , it was not pretty , nor grateful to [me]81-ruth , [Jenny Morgan]85-jenny , and that [I]81-ruth must say . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth turned away like [a chidden child]1285-a chidden child . [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan followed [her]81-ruth to [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room , scolding as [she]81-ruth went ; and then , having cleared [her]81-ruth heart after [her]81-ruth wo nt by uttering hasty words , [her]81-ruth real kindness made [her]81-ruth add , in a softened tone : " [You]4384-miss stop up here like [a good girl]4553-a good girl . [I]81-ruth 'll send [you]4384-miss [your]4384-miss breakfast by - and - by , and let [you]4384-miss know from time to time how [he]4554-he is ; and [you]4384-miss can go out for a walk , [you]4384-miss know ; but if [you]4384-miss do , [I]81-ruth 'll take it as a favour if [you]4384-miss 'll go out by the side door . It will , maybe , save scandal . "[81-ruth] All that day long , [Ruth]81-ruth kept [herself]81-ruth close prisoner in [the room to which [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan accorded [her]81-ruth]1287-the room to which mrs morgan accorded her ; all that day , and many succeeding days . But at nights , when [the house]426-the house was still , and even the little brown mice had gathered up the crumbs , and darted again to [their]1289-their holes , [Ruth]81-ruth stole out , and crept to [his]1290-he door to catch , if [she]81-ruth could , the sound of [his]1290-he beloved voice . [She]81-ruth could tell by its tones how [he]1290-he felt , and how [he]1290-he was getting on , as well as any of [the watchers in [the room]357-the room]1291-the watchers in the room . [She]81-ruth yearned and pined to see [him]1290-he once more ; but [she]81-ruth had reasoned [herself]81-ruth down into something like patience . When [he]1290-he was well enough to leave [[his]1290-he room]4528-his room , when [he]1290-he had not always [one of [the nurses]1295-the nurses]1294-one of the nurses with [him]1290-he , then [he]1290-he would send for [her]81-ruth , and [she]81-ruth would tell [him]1290-he how very patient [she]81-ruth had been for [his]1290-he dear sake . But it was long to wait even with this thought of the manner in which the waiting would end . [Poor Ruth]81-ruth ! [her]81-ruth faith was only building up vain castles in the air ; [they]1296-they towered up into heaven , it is true , but , after all , [they]1296-they were but visions . CHAPTER VIII [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham " Does the Thing Handsomely "[96-mrs bellingham] If [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham did not get rapidly well , it was more owing to the morbid querulous fancy attendant on great weakness than from any unfavourable medical symptom . But [he]1290-he turned away with peevish loathing from the very sight of food , prepared in the slovenly manner which had almost disgusted [him]1290-he when [he]1290-he was well . It was of no use telling [him]1290-he that [Simpson]136-simpson , [[[his]1290-he mother]655-his mother 's maid]1298-his mother 's maid , had superintended the preparation at every point . [He]1290-he offended [her]1298-his mother 's maid by detecting something offensive and to be avoided in [her]1298-his mother 's maid daintiest messes , and made [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan mutter many a hasty speech , which , however , [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham thought it better not to hear until [[her]96-mrs bellingham son]990-her son should be strong enough to travel . " [I]96-mrs bellingham think [you]1290-he are better to - day , "[96-mrs bellingham] said [she]96-mrs bellingham , as [[his]1290-he man]1300-his man wheeled [his]1290-he sofa to [the bedroom]1233-the bedroom window . " [We]4555-we shall get [you]1290-he [downstairs]4556-downstairs to - morrow . "[96-mrs bellingham] " If it were to get away from [this abominable place]4557-this abominable place , [I]1290-he could go down to - day ; but [I]1290-he believe [I]1290-he 'm to be kept prisoner here for ever . [I]1290-he shall never get well [here]4172-here , [I]1290-he 'm sure . "[1290-he] [He]1290-he sank back on [his]1290-he sofa in impatient despair . [The surgeon]343-the surgeon was announced , and eagerly questioned by [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham as to the possibility of [[her]96-mrs bellingham son]990-her son 's removal ; and [he]1290-he , having heard the same anxiety for the same end expressed by [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan in [the regions below]1304-the regions below , threw no great obstacles in the way . After [the doctor]4191-the doctor had taken [his]1290-he departure , [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham cleared [her]96-mrs bellingham throat several times . [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham knew the prelude of old , and winced with nervous annoyance . " [Henry]137-henry , there is something [I]96-mrs bellingham must speak to [you]137-henry about ; an unpleasant subject , certainly , but one which has been forced upon [me]96-mrs bellingham by [the very girl]4559-the very girl [herself]4559-the very girl ; [you]137-henry must be aware to what [I]96-mrs bellingham refer without giving [me]96-mrs bellingham the pain of explaining [myself]96-mrs bellingham . "[96-mrs bellingham] [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham turned [himself]94-mr bellingham sharply round to the wall , and prepared [himself]94-mr bellingham for a lecture by concealing [his]94-mr bellingham face from [her]96-mrs bellingham notice ; but [she]96-mrs bellingham [herself]96-mrs bellingham was in too nervous a state to be capable of observation . " Of course , "[96-mrs bellingham] [she]96-mrs bellingham continued , " it was [my]96-mrs bellingham wish to be as blind to the whole affair as possible , though [you]137-henry ca n't imagine how [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason has blazoned it abroad ; all [Fordham]27-fordham rings with it ; but of course it could not be pleasant , or , indeed , [I]96-mrs bellingham may say correct , for [me]96-mrs bellingham to be aware that [a person of such improper character]4560-a person of such improper character was under the same -- [I]96-mrs bellingham beg [your]137-henry pardon , [dear Henry]137-henry , what do [you]137-henry say ? "[96-mrs bellingham] " [Ruth]81-ruth is no improper character , [mother]4127-mother ; [you]4127-mother do [her]81-ruth injustice ! "[96-mrs bellingham] " [[My]96-mrs bellingham dear boy]4562-my dear boy , [you]137-henry do n't mean to uphold [her]81-ruth as a paragon of virtue ! "[96-mrs bellingham] " No , [mother]4127-mother , but [I]96-mrs bellingham led [her]81-ruth wrong ; [I--]96-mrs bellingham "[96-mrs bellingham] " [We]4564-we will let all discussions into the cause or duration of [her]81-ruth present character drop , if [you]137-henry please , "[96-mrs bellingham] said [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham , with the sort of dignified authority which retained a certain power over [[her]96-mrs bellingham son]990-her son -- a power which originated in childhood , and which [he]990-her son only defied when [he]990-her son was roused into passion . [He]990-her son was too weak in body to oppose [himself]990-her son to [her]96-mrs bellingham , and fight the ground inch by inch . " As [I]990-her son have implied , [I]990-her son do not wish to ascertain [your]137-henry share of blame ; from what [I]990-her son saw of [her]81-ruth one morning , [I]990-her son am convinced of [her]81-ruth forward , intrusive manners , utterly without shame , or even common modesty . "[990-her son] " What are [you]94-mr bellingham referring to ? "[94-mr bellingham] asked [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , sharply . " Why , when [you]137-henry were at the worst , and [I]94-mr bellingham had been watching [you]137-henry all night , and had just gone out in the morning for a breath of fresh air , [this girl]4565-this girl pushed [herself]4565-this girl before [me]94-mr bellingham , and insisted upon speaking to [me]94-mr bellingham . [I]94-mr bellingham really had to send [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan to [her]4565-this girl before [I]94-mr bellingham could return to [[your]137-henry room]4566-your room . A more impudent , hardened manner , [I]94-mr bellingham never saw . "[94-mr bellingham] " [Ruth]81-ruth was neither impudent nor hardened ; [she]81-ruth was ignorant enough , and might offend from knowing no better . "[94-mr bellingham] [He]94-mr bellingham was getting weary of the discussion , and wished it had never been begun . From the time [he]94-mr bellingham had become conscious of [[his]94-mr bellingham mother]655-his mother 's presence , [he]94-mr bellingham had felt the dilemma [he]94-mr bellingham was in in regard to [Ruth]81-ruth , and various plans had directly crossed [his]94-mr bellingham brain ; but it had been so troublesome to weigh and consider them all properly , that they had been put aside to be settled when [he]94-mr bellingham grew stronger . But this difficulty in which [he]94-mr bellingham was placed by [his]94-mr bellingham connexion with [Ruth]81-ruth , associated the idea of [her]81-ruth in [his]94-mr bellingham mind with annoyance and angry regret at the whole affair . [He]94-mr bellingham wished , in the languid way in which [he]94-mr bellingham wished and felt everything not immediately relating to [his]94-mr bellingham daily comfort , that [he]94-mr bellingham had never seen [her]81-ruth . It was a most awkward , a most unfortunate affair . Notwithstanding this annoyance connected with and arising out of [Ruth]81-ruth , [he]94-mr bellingham would not submit to hear [her]81-ruth abused ; and something in [his]94-mr bellingham manner impressed this on [[his]94-mr bellingham mother]655-his mother , for [she]655-his mother immediately changed [her]655-his mother mode of attack . " [We]4567-we may as well drop all dispute as to [the young woman]4568-the young woman 's manners ; but [I]655-his mother suppose [you]94-mr bellingham do not mean to defend [your]94-mr bellingham connexion with [her]4568-the young woman ; [I]655-his mother suppose [you]94-mr bellingham are not so lost to all sense of propriety as to imagine it fit or desirable that [[your]94-mr bellingham mother]4264-your mother and [this degraded girl]4570-this degraded girl should remain under the same roof , liable to meet at any hour of the day ? "[655-his mother] [She]655-his mother waited for an answer , but no answer came . " [I]655-his mother ask [you]94-mr bellingham a simple question ; is it , or is it not desirable ? "[655-his mother] " [I]94-mr bellingham suppose it is not , "[94-mr bellingham] [he]94-mr bellingham replied , gloomily . " And _ [I]94-mr bellingham _ suppose , from [your]94-mr bellingham manner , that [you]94-mr bellingham think the difficulty would be best solved by [my]94-mr bellingham taking [my]94-mr bellingham departure , and leaving [you]94-mr bellingham with [[your]94-mr bellingham vicious companion]4571-your vicious companion ? "[94-mr bellingham] Again no answer , but inward and increasing annoyance , of which [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham considered [Ruth]81-ruth the cause . At length [he]94-mr bellingham spoke . " [Mother]139-mother , [you]139-mother are not helping [me]94-mr bellingham in [my]94-mr bellingham difficulty . [I]94-mr bellingham have no desire to banish [you]139-mother , nor to hurt [you]139-mother , after all [your]139-mother care for [me]94-mr bellingham . [Ruth]81-ruth has not been so much to blame as [you]139-mother imagine , that [I]94-mr bellingham must say ; but [I]94-mr bellingham do not wish to see [her]81-ruth again , if [you]139-mother can tell [me]94-mr bellingham how to arrange it otherwise , without behaving unhandsomely . Only spare [me]94-mr bellingham all this worry while [I]94-mr bellingham am so weak . [I]94-mr bellingham put [myself]94-mr bellingham in [your]139-mother hands . Dismiss [her]81-ruth , as [you]139-mother wish it ; but let it be done handsomely , and let [me]94-mr bellingham hear no more about it ; [I]94-mr bellingham can not bear it ; let [me]94-mr bellingham have a quiet life , without being lectured while [I]94-mr bellingham am pent up here , and unable to shake off unpleasant thoughts . "[94-mr bellingham] " [[My]94-mr bellingham dear]4145-my dear [Henry]137-henry , rely upon [me]94-mr bellingham . "[94-mr bellingham] " No more , [mother]4127-mother ; it 's a bad business , and [I]94-mr bellingham can hardly avoid blaming [myself]94-mr bellingham in the matter ; [I]94-mr bellingham do n't want to dwell upon it . "[94-mr bellingham] " Do n't be too severe in [your]137-henry self - reproaches while [you]137-henry are so feeble , dear [Henry]137-henry ; it is right to repent , but [I]1309-i have no doubt in [my]1309-i own mind [she]81-ruth led [you]137-henry wrong with [her]81-ruth artifices . But , as [you]137-henry say , everything should be done handsomely . [I]1309-i confess [I]1309-i was deeply grieved when [I]1309-i first heard of the affair , but since [I]1309-i have seen the girl-- Well ! [I]1309-i 'll say no more about [her]81-ruth , since [I]1309-i see it displeases [you]137-henry ; but [I]1309-i am thankful to [God]104-leonard that [you]137-henry see the error of [your]137-henry ways . "[1309-i] [She]1309-i sat silent , thinking for a little while , and then sent for [her]1309-i writing - case , and began to write . [[Her]1309-i son]990-her son became restless , and nervously irritated . " [Mother]4127-mother , "[990-her son] [he]990-her son said , " this affair worries [me]990-her son to death . [I]990-her son can not shake off the thoughts of it . "[990-her son] " Leave it to [me]1309-i , [I]1309-i 'll arrange it satisfactorily . "[1309-i] " Could [we]4575-we not leave to - night ? [I]990-her son should not be so haunted by this annoyance in another place . [I]990-her son dread seeing [her]1309-i again , because [I]990-her son fear a scene ; and yet [I]990-her son believe [I]990-her son ought to see [her]1309-i , in order to explain . "[990-her son] " [You]990-her son must not think of such a thing , [Henry]137-henry , "[1309-i] said [she]1309-i , alarmed at the very idea . " Sooner than that , [we]4575-we will leave in half an hour , and try to get to [Pen trĂȘ Voelas]26-pen trĂȘ voelas to - night . It is not yet three , and the evenings are very long . [Simpson]136-simpson should stay and finish the packing ; [she]1309-i could go straight to [London]3-london and meet [us]4575-we there . [Macdonald]140-macdonald and [nurse]4476-nurse could go with [us]4575-we . Could [you]137-henry bear twenty miles , do [you]137-henry think ? "[1309-i] Anything to get rid of [his]1311-he uneasiness . [He]1311-he felt that [he]1311-he was not behaving as [he]1311-he should do , to [Ruth]81-ruth , though the really right never entered [his]1311-he head . But it would extricate [him]1311-he from [his]1311-he present dilemma , and save [him]1311-he many lectures ; [he]1311-he knew that [[his]1311-he mother]655-his mother , always liberal where money was concerned , would " do the thing handsomely , "[655-his mother] and it would always be easy to write and give [Ruth]81-ruth what explanation [he]1311-he felt inclined , in a day or two ; so [he]1311-he consented , and soon lost some of [his]1311-he uneasiness in watching the bustle of the preparation for [their]1313-their departure . All this time [Ruth]81-ruth was quietly spending in [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room , beguiling the waiting , weary hours , with pictures of the meeting at the end . [[Her]81-ruth room]792-her room looked to the back , and was in [a side - wing away from [the principal state apartments]1317-the principal state apartments]1316-a side - wing away from the principal state apartments , consequently [she]81-ruth was not roused to suspicion by any of the commotion ; but , indeed , if [she]81-ruth had heard the banging of doors , the sharp directions , the carriage - wheels , [she]81-ruth would still not have suspected the truth ; [her]81-ruth own love was too faithful . It was four o'clock and past , when [some one]378-some one knocked at [her]81-ruth door , and , on entering , gave [her]81-ruth a note , which [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham had left . [That lady]1319-that lady had found some difficulty in wording it , so as to satisfy [herself]1319-that lady , but it was as follows : [[My]0-i son]1320-my son , on recovering from [his]1320-my son illness , is , [I]0-i thank [God]104-leonard , happily conscious of the sinful way in which [he]1320-my son has been living with [you]1321-you . By [his]1320-my son earnest desire , and in order to avoid seeing [you]1321-you again , [we]1322-we are on the point of leaving [this place]1323-this place ; but before [I]0-i go , [I]0-i wish to exhort [you]1321-you to repentance , and to remind [you]1321-you that [you]1321-you will not have [your]1321-you own guilt alone upon [your]1321-you head , but that of [any young man whom [you]1321-you may succeed in entrapping into vice]1324-any young man whom you may succeed in entrapping into vice . [I]0-i shall pray that [you]1321-you may turn to an honest life , and [I]0-i strongly recommend [you]1321-you , if indeed [you]1321-you are not ' dead in trespasses and sins , ' to enter some penitentiary . In accordance with [[my]0-i son]1320-my son 's wishes , [I]0-i forward [you]1321-you in this envelope a bank - note of fifty pounds . [MARGARET BELLINGHAM]141-margaret bellingham . Was this the end of all ? Had [he]1320-my son , indeed , gone ? [She]141-margaret bellingham started up , and asked this last question of [the servant , who , half guessing at the purport of the note]1326-the servant , who , half guessing at the purport of the note , had lingered about [the room]357-the room , curious to see the effect produced . " Iss , indeed , [miss]4384-miss ; [the carriage]4377-the carriage drove from the door as [I]81-ruth came [upstairs]1186-upstairs . [You]4384-miss 'll see it now on [the Yspytty road]4580-the yspytty road , if [you]4384-miss 'll please to come to the window of [No . 24]4581-no . 24 . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth started up , and followed [the chambermaid]1328-the chambermaid . Aye , there it was , slowly winding up [the steep white road]1329-the steep white road , on which it seemed to move at a snail 's pace . [She]141-margaret bellingham might overtake [him]1320-my son -- [she]141-margaret bellingham might -- [she]141-margaret bellingham might speak one farewell word to [him]1320-my son , print [his]1320-my son face on [her]141-margaret bellingham heart with a last look -- nay , when [he]1320-my son saw [her]141-margaret bellingham [he]1320-my son might retract , and not utterly , for ever , leave [her]141-margaret bellingham . Thus [she]141-margaret bellingham thought ; and [she]141-margaret bellingham flew back to [[her]141-margaret bellingham room]792-her room , and snatching up [her]141-margaret bellingham bonnet , ran , tying the strings with [her]141-margaret bellingham trembling hands as [she]141-margaret bellingham went down [the stairs]1331-the stairs , out at the nearest door , little heeding the angry words of [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan ; for [the hostess]1075-the hostess , more irritated at [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham 's severe upbraiding at parting , than mollified by [her]141-margaret bellingham ample payment , was offended by the circumstance of [Ruth]81-ruth , in [her]81-ruth wild haste , passing through the prohibited front door . But [Ruth]81-ruth was away before [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan had finished [her]122-mrs morgan speech , out and away , scudding along [the road]4274-the road , thought - lost in the breathless rapidity of [her]81-ruth motion . Though [her]81-ruth heart and head beat almost to bursting , what did it signify if [she]81-ruth could but overtake [the carriage]4377-the carriage ? It was a nightmare , constantly evading the most passionate wishes and endeavours , and constantly gaining ground . Every time it was visible it was in fact more distant , but [Ruth]81-ruth would not believe it . If [she]81-ruth could but gain [the summit of [that weary , everlasting hill]1336-that weary , everlasting hill]1335-the summit of that weary , everlasting hill , [she]81-ruth believed that [she]81-ruth could run again , and would soon be nigh upon [the carriage]4377-the carriage . As [she]81-ruth ran , [she]81-ruth prayed with wild eagerness ; [she]81-ruth prayed that [she]81-ruth might see [his]1338-his face once more , even if [she]81-ruth died on the spot before [him]1338-his . It was one of those prayers which [God]104-leonard is too merciful to grant ; but despairing and wild as it was , [Ruth]81-ruth put [her]81-ruth soul into it , and prayed it again , and yet again . Wave above wave of [the ever - rising hills]1339-the ever - rising hills were gained , were crossed , and at last [Ruth]81-ruth struggled up to the very top and stood on [the bare table of moor]1340-the bare table of moor , brown and purple , stretching far away till [it]1341-it was lost in the haze of the summer afternoon ; and [the white road]1342-the white road was all flat before [her]81-ruth , but [the carriage]4377-the carriage [she]81-ruth sought and the figure [she]81-ruth sought had disappeared . There was [no human being there]1344-no human being there ; a few wild , black - faced mountain sheep quietly grazing near [the road]4274-the road , as if it were long since [they]1346-they had been disturbed by the passing of [any vehicle]1347-any vehicle , was all the life [she]81-ruth saw on [the bleak moorland]1348-the bleak moorland . [She]81-ruth threw [herself]81-ruth down on the ling by the side of [the road]4274-the road in despair . [Her]81-ruth only hope was to die , and [she]81-ruth believed [she]81-ruth was dying . [She]81-ruth could not think ; [she]81-ruth could believe anything . Surely life was a horrible dream , and [God]104-leonard would mercifully awaken [her]81-ruth from it . [She]81-ruth had no penitence , no consciousness of error or offence ; no knowledge of any one circumstance but that [he]1350-he was gone . Yet afterwards , long afterwards , [she]81-ruth remembered the exact motion of a bright green beetle busily meandering among the wild thyme near [her]81-ruth , and [she]81-ruth recalled the musical , balanced , wavering drop of a skylark into [her]81-ruth nest near the heather - bed where [she]81-ruth lay . The sun was sinking low , the hot air had ceased to quiver near the hotter earth , when [she]81-ruth bethought [her]81-ruth once more of the note which [she]81-ruth had impatiently thrown down before half mastering its contents . " Oh , perhaps , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth thought , " [I]81-ruth have been too hasty . There may be some words of explanation from [him]1350-he on the other side of the page , to which , in [my]81-ruth blind anguish , [I]81-ruth never turned . [I]81-ruth will go and find it . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth lifted [herself]81-ruth heavily and stiffly from the crushed heather . [She]81-ruth stood dizzy and confused with [her]81-ruth change of posture ; and was so unable to move at first , that [her]81-ruth walk was but slow and tottering ; but , by - and - by , [she]81-ruth was tasked and goaded by thoughts which forced [her]81-ruth into rapid motion , as if , by it , [she]81-ruth could escape from [her]81-ruth agony . [She]81-ruth came down on the level ground , just as [many gay or peaceful groups]1351-many gay or peaceful groups were sauntering leisurely [home]4124-home with hearts at ease ; with low laughs and quiet smiles , and many an exclamation at the beauty of the summer evening . Ever since [her]81-ruth adventure with [the little boy]584-the little boy and [[his]584-the little boy sister]4508-his sister , [Ruth]81-ruth had habitually avoided encountering [these happy -- innocents]1355-these happy -- innocents , may [I]0-i call [them?--these happy fellow - mortals]1356-them?--these happy fellow - mortals ! And even now , the habit grounded on sorrowful humiliation had power over [her]81-ruth ; [she]81-ruth paused , and then , on looking back , [she]81-ruth saw [more people who had come into [the main road]1358-the main road from [a side path]1359-a side path]1357-more people who had come into the main road from a side path . [She]81-ruth opened a gate into [a pasture - field]1360-a pasture - field , and crept up to [the hedge - bank]1361-the hedge - bank until all should have passed by , and [she]81-ruth could steal into [the inn]1055-the inn unseen . [She]81-ruth sat down on the sloping turf by the roots of an old hawthorn - tree which grew in the hedge ; [she]81-ruth was still tearless with hot burning eyes ; [she]81-ruth heard [the merry walkers]1363-the merry walkers pass by ; [she]81-ruth heard the footsteps of [the village children]1364-the village children as [they]1364-the village children ran along to [their]1364-the village children evening play ; [she]81-ruth saw the small black cows come into [the fields]958-the fields after being milked ; and life seemed yet abroad . When would [the world]506-the world be still and dark , and fit for such a deserted , desolate creature as [she]81-ruth was ? Even in [her]81-ruth hiding - place [she]81-ruth was not long at peace . [The little children]1367-the little children , with [their]1367-the little children curious eyes peering here and there , had peeped through the hedge , and through the gate , and now [they]1367-the little children gathered from all the four corners of [the hamlet]1054-the hamlet , and crowded round the gate ; and [one more adventurous than the rest]1369-one more adventurous than the rest had run into [the field]741-the field to cry , " Gi ' [me]1369-one more adventurous than the rest a halfpenny , "[1369-one more adventurous than the rest] which set the example to [every little one]1371-every little one , emulous of [his]1371-every little one boldness ; and there , where [she]81-ruth sat , low on the ground , and longing for the sure hiding - place earth gives to the weary , [the children]550-the children kept running in , and pushing [one another]1373-one another forwards , and laughing . Poor things ; [their]550-the children time had not come for understanding what sorrow is . [Ruth]81-ruth would have begged [them]550-the children to leave [her]81-ruth alone , and not madden [her]81-ruth utterly ; but [they]550-the children knew no English save the one eternal " Gi ' [me]81-ruth a halfpenny . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth felt in [her]81-ruth heart that there was no pity anywhere . Suddenly , while [she]81-ruth thus doubted [God]104-leonard , a shadow fell across [her]81-ruth garments , on which [her]81-ruth miserable eyes were bent . [She]81-ruth looked up . [The deformed gentleman [she]81-ruth had twice before seen]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , stood there . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had been attracted by [the noisy little crowd]1375-the noisy little crowd , and had questioned [them]1375-the noisy little crowd in Welsh , but not understanding enough of the language to comprehend [their]1375-the noisy little crowd answers , [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had obeyed [their]1375-the noisy little crowd signs , and entered the gate to which [they]1375-the noisy little crowd pointed . There [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen saw [the young girl whom [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had noticed at first for [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty innocent beauty]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty , and the second time for the idea [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had gained respecting [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty situation ; there [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen saw [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty , crouched up like some hunted creature , with a wild , scared look of despair , which almost made [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty lovely face seem fierce ; [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen saw [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty dress soiled and dim , [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty bonnet crushed and battered with [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty tossings to and fro on the moorland bed ; [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen saw [the poor , lost wanderer]1377-the poor , lost wanderer , and when [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen saw [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty , [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had compassion on [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty . There was some look of heavenly pity in [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen eyes , as gravely and sadly [they]1378-they met [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty upturned gaze , which touched [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty stony heart . Still looking at [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , as if drawing some good influence from [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , [she]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty said low and mournfully , " [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen has left [me]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty , [sir!--sir]4582-sir!--sir , [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen has indeed -- [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen has gone and left [me]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty ! "[1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty] Before [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen could speak a word to comfort [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty , [she]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty had burst into the wildest , dreariest crying ever mortal cried . The settled form of the event , when put into words , went sharp to [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty heart ; [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty moans and sobs wrung [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen soul ; but as no speech of [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen could be heard , if [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had been able to decide what best to say , [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen stood by [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty in apparent calmness , while [she]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty , wretched , wailed and uttered [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty woe . But when [she]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty lay worn out , and stupefied into silence , [she]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty heard [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen say to [himself]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , in a low voice : " Oh , [[my]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen God]867-my god ! for Christ 's sake , pity [her]1376-the young girl whom he had noticed at first for her innocent beauty ! "[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen] [Ruth]81-ruth lifted up [her]81-ruth eyes , and looked at [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen with a dim perception of the meaning of [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen words . [She]81-ruth regarded [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen fixedly in a dreamy way , as if they struck some chord in [her]81-ruth heart , and [she]81-ruth were listening to its echo ; and so it was . [His]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen pitiful look , or [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen words , reminded [her]81-ruth of the childish days when [she]81-ruth knelt at [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother 's knee , and [she]81-ruth was only conscious of a straining , longing desire to recall it all . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen let [her]81-ruth take [her]81-ruth time , partly because [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen was powerfully affected [himself]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen by all the circumstances , and by the sad pale face upturned to [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen ; and partly by an instinctive consciousness that the softest patience was required . But suddenly [she]81-ruth startled [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , as [she]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth was startled into a keen sense of the suffering agony of the present ; [she]81-ruth sprang up and pushed [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen aside , and went rapidly towards the gate of [the field]741-the field . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen could not move as quickly as [most men]1381-most men , but [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen put forth [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen utmost speed . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen followed across [the road]4274-the road , on to [the rocky common]1383-the rocky common ; but as [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen went along , with [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen uncertain gait , in the dusk gloaming , [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen stumbled , and fell over some sharp projecting stone . The acute pain which shot up [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen back forced a short cry from [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen ; and , when bird and beast are hushed into rest and the stillness of the night is over all , a high - pitched sound , like the voice of pain , is carried far in the quiet air . [Ruth]81-ruth , speeding on in [her]81-ruth despair , heard the sharp utterance , and stopped suddenly short . [It]1384-it did what [no remonstrance]1385-no remonstrance could have done ; it called [her]81-ruth out of [herself]81-ruth . The tender nature was in [her]81-ruth still , in that hour when [all good angels]1386-all good angels seemed to have abandoned [her]81-ruth . In the old days [she]81-ruth could never bear to hear or see bodily suffering in any of [[God]104-leonard 's meanest creatures]1387-god 's meanest creatures , without trying to succour [them]1387-god 's meanest creatures ; and now , in [her]81-ruth rush to the awful death of the suicide , [she]81-ruth stayed [her]81-ruth wild steps , and turned to find from [whom that sharp sound of anguish had issued]1388-whom that sharp sound of anguish had issued . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen lay among the white stones , too faint with pain to move , but with an agony in [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen mind far keener than any bodily pain , as [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen thought that by [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen unfortunate fall [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had lost all chance of saving [her]81-ruth . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen was almost overpowered by [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen intense thankfulness when [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen saw [her]81-ruth white figure pause , and stand listening , and turn again with slow footsteps , as if searching for some lost thing . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen could hardly speak , but [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen made a sound which , though [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen heart was inexpressibly glad , was like a groan . [She]81-ruth came quickly towards [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen . " [I]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen am hurt , "[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen] said [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen ; " do not leave [me]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen ; "[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen] [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen disabled and tender frame was overcome by the accident and the previous emotions , and [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen fainted away . [Ruth]81-ruth flew to [the little mountain stream]1389-the little mountain stream , the dashing sound of whose waters had been tempting [her]81-ruth , but a moment before , to seek forgetfulness in [the deep pool into which]1390-the deep pool into which [they]1391-they fell . [She]81-ruth made a basin of [her]81-ruth joined hands , and carried enough of the cold fresh water back to dash into [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen face and restore [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen to consciousness . While [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen still kept silence , uncertain what to say best fitted to induce [her]81-ruth to listen to [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , [she]81-ruth said softly : " Are [you]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen better , sir?--are [you]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen very much hurt ? "[81-ruth] " Not very much ; [I]81-ruth am better . Any quick movement is apt to cause [me]81-ruth a sudden loss of power in [my]81-ruth back , and [I]81-ruth believe [I]81-ruth stumbled over some of these projecting stones . It will soon go off , and [you]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen will help [me]81-ruth to go [home]4124-home , [I]81-ruth am sure . "[81-ruth] " Oh , yes ! Can [you]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen go now ? [I]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen am afraid of [your]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen lying too long on [this heather]4585-this heather ; there is a heavy dew . "[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen] [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen was so anxious to comply with [her]81-ruth wish , and not weary out [her]81-ruth thought for [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , and so turn [her]81-ruth back upon [herself]81-ruth , that [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen tried to rise . The pain was acute , and this [she]81-ruth saw . " Do n't hurry [yourself]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , [sir]4181-sir ; [I]81-ruth can wait . "[81-ruth] Then came across [her]81-ruth mind the recollection of the business that was thus deferred ; but the few homely words which had been exchanged between [them]1392-them seemed to have awakened [her]81-ruth from [her]81-ruth madness . [She]81-ruth sat down by [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , and , covering [her]81-ruth face with [her]81-ruth hands , cried mournfully and unceasingly . [She]81-ruth forgot [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen presence , and yet [she]81-ruth had a consciousness that [some one]378-some one looked for [her]81-ruth kind offices , that [she]81-ruth was wanted in [the world]506-the world , and must not rush hastily out of it . The consciousness did not take this definite form , it did not become a thought , but it kept [her]81-ruth still , and it was gradually soothing [her]81-ruth . " Can [you]81-ruth help [me]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen to rise now ? "[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen] said [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , after a while . [She]81-ruth did not speak , but [she]81-ruth helped [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen up , and then [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen took [her]81-ruth arm , and [she]81-ruth led [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen tenderly through all the little velvet paths , where the turf grew short and soft between the rugged stones . Once more on [the highway]1395-the highway , [they]1396-they slowly passed along in the moonlight . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen guided [her]81-ruth by a slight motion of the arm , through [the more unfrequented lanes]1397-the more unfrequented lanes , to [[his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen lodgings at [the shop]1153-the shop]1398-his lodgings at the shop ; for [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen thought for [her]81-ruth , and conceived the pain [she]81-ruth would have in seeing the lighted windows of [the inn]1055-the inn . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen leant more heavily on [her]81-ruth arm , as [they]1396-they awaited the opening of the door . " Come in , "[1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen] said [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen , not relaxing [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen hold , and yet dreading to tighten it , lest [she]81-ruth should defy restraint , and once more rush away . [They]1396-they went slowly into [the little parlour behind [the shop]1153-the shop]1401-the little parlour behind the shop . [The bonny - looking hostess]1403-the bonny - looking hostess , [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes by name , made haste to light the candle , and then [they]1396-they saw [each other]579-each other , face to face . [The deformed gentleman]1112-the deformed gentleman looked very pale , but [Ruth]81-ruth looked as if the shadow of death was upon [her]81-ruth . CHAPTER IX [The Storm - Spirit Subdued Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes bustled about with many a sympathetic exclamation , now in pretty broken English , now in more fluent Welsh , which sounded as soft as Russian or Italian , in [her]81-ruth musical voice . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , for that was the name of [the hunchback]1406-the hunchback , lay on the sofa , thinking ; while [the tender Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes made every arrangement for [his]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen relief from pain . [He]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen had lodged with [her]81-ruth for three successive years , and [she]81-ruth knew and loved [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen . [Ruth]81-ruth stood in the little bow - window , looking out . Across the moon , and over the deep blue heavens , large , torn , irregular - shaped clouds went hurrying , as if summoned by some storm - spirit . The work [they]1396-they were commanded to do was not here ; [the mighty gathering - place]1407-the mighty gathering - place lay eastward , immeasurable leagues , and on [they]1396-they went , chasing each other over [the silent earth]1408-the silent earth , now black , now silver - white at one transparent edge , now with the moon shining like Hope through [their]1396-they darkest centre , now again with a silver lining ; and now , utterly black , [they]1396-they sailed lower in the lift , and disappeared behind [the immovable mountains]1409-the immovable mountains ; [they]1396-they were rushing in the very direction in which [Ruth]81-ruth had striven and struggled to go that afternoon ; [they]1396-they , in [their]1396-they wild career , would soon pass over the very spot where [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen ( [[[her]81-ruth world]507-her world 's [he]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen ) was lying sleeping , or perhaps not sleeping , perhaps thinking of [her]81-ruth]1411-her world 's he ) was lying sleeping , or perhaps not sleeping , perhaps thinking of her . The storm was in [her]81-ruth mind , and rent and tore [her]81-ruth purposes into forms as wild and irregular as the heavenly shapes [she]81-ruth was looking at . If , like [them]1396-they , [she]81-ruth could pass the barrier horizon in the night , [she]81-ruth might overtake [him]1374-the deformed gentleman she had twice before seen . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw [her]81-ruth look , and read it partially . [He]143-mr benson saw [her]81-ruth longing gaze outwards upon [the free , broad world]1412-the free , broad world , and thought that the syren waters , whose deadly music yet rang in [her]81-ruth ears , were again tempting [her]81-ruth . [He]143-mr benson called [her]81-ruth to [him]143-mr benson , praying that [his]143-mr benson feeble voice might have power . " [[My]143-mr benson dear young lady]4587-my dear young lady , [I]143-mr benson have much to say to [you]81-ruth ; and [God]104-leonard has taken [my]143-mr benson strength from [me]143-mr benson now when [I]143-mr benson most need it.--Oh , [I]143-mr benson sin to speak so -- but , for [His]143-mr benson sake , [I]143-mr benson implore [you]81-ruth to be patient here , if only till to - morrow morning . "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson looked at [her]81-ruth , but [her]81-ruth face was immovable , and [she]81-ruth did not speak . [She]81-ruth could not give up [her]81-ruth hope , [her]81-ruth chance , [her]81-ruth liberty till to - morrow . " [God]104-leonard help [me]143-mr benson , "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , mournfully , " [my]143-mr benson words do not touch [her]81-ruth ; "[143-mr benson] and , still holding [her]81-ruth hand , [he]143-mr benson sank back on the pillows . Indeed , it was true that [his]143-mr benson words did not vibrate in [her]81-ruth atmosphere . The storm - spirit raged there , and filled [her]81-ruth heart with the thought that [she]81-ruth was [an outcast]1413-an outcast ; and the holy words , " for [His]143-mr benson sake , "[143-mr benson] were answered by the demon , who held possession , with a blasphemous defiance of [the merciful God]1414-the merciful god : " What have [I]143-mr benson to do with [Thee]81-ruth ? "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson thought of every softening influence of religion which over [his]143-mr benson own disciplined heart had power , but put them aside as useless . Then the still small voice whispered , and [he]143-mr benson spake : " In [[your]81-ruth mother]4264-your mother 's name , whether [she]4264-your mother be dead or alive , [I]143-mr benson command [you]81-ruth to stay here until [I]143-mr benson am able to speak to [you]81-ruth . "[143-mr benson] [She]81-ruth knelt down at the foot of the sofa , and shook it with [her]81-ruth sobs . [Her]81-ruth heart was touched , and [he]143-mr benson hardly dared to speak again . At length [he]143-mr benson said : " [I]143-mr benson know [you]81-ruth will not go -- [you]81-ruth could not -- for [her]4264-your mother sake . [You]81-ruth will not , will [you]81-ruth ? "[143-mr benson] " No , "[81-ruth] whispered [Ruth]81-ruth ; and then there was a great blank in [her]81-ruth heart . [She]81-ruth had given up [her]81-ruth chance . [She]81-ruth was calm , in the utter absence of all hope . " And now [you]81-ruth will do what [I]143-mr benson tell [you]81-ruth , "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , gently , but , unconsciously to [himself]143-mr benson , in the tone of [one who has found the hidden spell by which to rule spirits]1415-one who has found the hidden spell by which to rule spirits . [She]81-ruth slowly said , " Yes . "[81-ruth] But [she]81-ruth was subdued . [He]143-mr benson called [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes . [She]142-mrs hughes came from [[her]142-mrs hughes adjoining shop]1416-her adjoining shop . " [You]142-mrs hughes have [a bedroom within [yours]142-mrs hughes]4589-a bedroom within yours , where [[your]142-mrs hughes daughter]4590-your daughter used to sleep , [I]142-mrs hughes think ? [I]142-mrs hughes am sure [you]142-mrs hughes will oblige [me]142-mrs hughes , and [I]142-mrs hughes shall consider it as a great favour , if [you]142-mrs hughes will allow [this young lady]4171-this young lady to sleep [there]332-there to - night . Will [you]142-mrs hughes take [her]4171-this young lady [there]332-there now ? Go , [[my]142-mrs hughes dear]4145-my dear . [I]142-mrs hughes have full trust in [your]142-mrs hughes promise not to leave until [I]142-mrs hughes can speak to [you]142-mrs hughes . "[142-mrs hughes] [His]1417-he voice died away to silence ; but as [Ruth]81-ruth rose from [her]81-ruth knees at [his]1417-he bidding , [she]81-ruth looked at [his]1417-he face through [her]81-ruth tears . [His]1417-he lips were moving in earnest , unspoken prayer , and [she]81-ruth knew it was for [her]81-ruth . That night , although [his]1417-he pain was relieved by rest , [he]1417-he could not sleep ; and , as in fever , the coming events kept unrolling themselves before [him]1417-he in every changing and fantastic form . [He]1417-he met [Ruth]81-ruth in all possible places and ways , and addressed [her]81-ruth in every manner [he]1417-he could imagine most calculated to move and affect [her]81-ruth to penitence and virtue . Towards morning [he]1417-he fell asleep , but the same thoughts haunted [his]1417-he dreams ; [he]1417-he spoke , but [his]1417-he voice refused to utter aloud ; and [she]81-ruth fled , relentless , to [the deep , black pool]1418-the deep , black pool . But [God]104-leonard works in [His]104-leonard own way . The visions melted into deep , unconscious sleep . [He]1417-he was awakened by a knock at the door , which seemed a repetition of what [he]1417-he had heard in [his]1417-he last sleeping moments . It was [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes . [She]142-mrs hughes stood at the first word of permission within [the room]357-the room . " Please , [sir]4181-sir , [I]142-mrs hughes think [the young lady]476-the young lady is very ill indeed , [sir]4181-sir ; perhaps [you]4181-sir would please to come to [her]476-the young lady . "[142-mrs hughes] " How is [she]476-the young lady ill ? "[1417-he] said [he]1417-he , much alarmed . " Quite quiet - like , [sir]4181-sir ; but [I]1417-he think [she]476-the young lady is dying , that 's all , indeed , [sir]4181-sir ! "[1417-he] " Go away , [I]1417-he will be with [you]1417-he directly ! "[1417-he] [he]1417-he replied , [his]1417-he heart sinking within [him]1417-he . In a very short time [he]1417-he was standing with [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes by [Ruth]81-ruth 's bedside . [She]142-mrs hughes lay as still as if [she]142-mrs hughes were dead , [her]142-mrs hughes eyes shut , [her]142-mrs hughes wan face numbed into a fixed anguish of expression . [She]142-mrs hughes did not speak when [they]1420-they spoke , though after a while [they]1420-they thought [she]142-mrs hughes strove to do so . But all power of motion and utterance had left [her]142-mrs hughes . [She]142-mrs hughes was dressed in everything , except [her]142-mrs hughes bonnet , as [she]142-mrs hughes had been the day before ; although sweet , thoughtful [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes had provided [her]142-mrs hughes with nightgear , which lay on the little chest of drawers that served as a dressing - table . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson lifted up [her]142-mrs hughes arm to feel [her]142-mrs hughes feeble , fluttering pulse ; and when [he]143-mr benson let go [her]142-mrs hughes hand , it fell upon the bed in a dull , heavy way , as if [she]142-mrs hughes were already dead . " [You]142-mrs hughes gave [her]142-mrs hughes some food ? "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , anxiously , to [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes . " Indeed , and [I]143-mr benson offered [her]142-mrs hughes the best in [the house]426-the house , but [she]142-mrs hughes shook [her]142-mrs hughes poor pretty head , and only asked if [I]143-mr benson would please to get [her]142-mrs hughes a cup of water . [I]143-mr benson brought [her]142-mrs hughes some milk though , and ' deed , [I]143-mr benson think [she]142-mrs hughes 'd rather have had the water ; but not to seem sour and cross , [she]142-mrs hughes took some milk . "[143-mr benson] By this time [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes was fairly crying . " When does [the doctor]4191-the doctor come up [here]4172-here ? "[143-mr benson] " Indeed , [sir]4181-sir , and [he]4191-the doctor 's up nearly every day now , [the inn]1055-the inn is so full . "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson 'll go for [him]4191-the doctor . And can [you]143-mr benson manage to undress [her]142-mrs hughes and lay [her]142-mrs hughes in bed ? Open the window too , and let in the air ; if [her]142-mrs hughes feet are cold , put bottles of hot water to [them]4605-them . "[143-mr benson] It was a proof of the true love , which was the nature of both , that it never crossed [their]1421-their minds to regret that [this poor young creature]1422-this poor young creature had been thus thrown upon [their]1421-their hands . On the contrary , [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes called it " a blessing . "[142-mrs hughes] " It blesseth [him]4191-the doctor that gives , and [him]4191-the doctor that takes . "[142-mrs hughes] CHAPTER X A Note and the Answer At [the inn]1055-the inn everything was life and bustle . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had to wait long in [[Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan 's little parlour]1424-mrs morgan 's little parlour before [she]122-mrs morgan could come to [him]143-mr benson , and [he]143-mr benson kept growing more and more impatient . At last [she]122-mrs morgan made [her]122-mrs morgan appearance and heard [his]143-mr benson story . [People]322-people may talk as [they]322-people will about the little respect that is paid to virtue , unaccompanied by the outward accidents of wealth or station ; but [I]0-i rather think it will be found that , in the long run , true and simple virtue always has its proportionate reward in the respect and reverence of every one whose esteem is worth having . To be sure , it is not rewarded after the way of [the world]506-the world as mere worldly possessions are , with low obeisance and lip - service ; but all the better and more noble qualities in the hearts of [others]368-others make ready and go forth to meet it on [its]1428-its approach , provided only [it]1428-its be pure , simple , and unconscious of [its]1428-its own existence . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had little thought for outward tokens of respect just then , nor had [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan much time to spare ; but [she]122-mrs morgan smoothed [her]122-mrs morgan ruffled brow , and calmed [her]122-mrs morgan bustling manner , as soon as ever [she]122-mrs morgan saw who it was that awaited [her]122-mrs morgan ; for [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was well known in [the village]1138-the village where [he]143-mr benson had taken up [his]143-mr benson summer holiday among [the mountains]1090-the mountains year after year , always [a resident at [the shop]1153-the shop]1431-a resident at the shop , and seldom spending a shilling at [the inn]1055-the inn . [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan listened patiently -- for [her]122-mrs morgan . " [Mr Jones]131-mr jones will come this afternoon . But it is a shame [you]143-mr benson should be troubled with such as [her]122-mrs morgan . [I]122-mrs morgan had but little time yesterday , but [I]122-mrs morgan guessed there was something wrong , and [Gwen]134-gwen has just been telling [me]122-mrs morgan [her]134-gwen bed has not been slept in . [They]4606-they were in a pretty hurry to be gone yesterday , for all that [the gentleman]469-the gentleman was not fit to travel , to [my]122-mrs morgan way of thinking ; indeed , [William Wynn]144-william wynn , [the post - boy]4608-the post - boy , said [he]4608-the post - boy was weary enough before [he]4608-the post - boy got to the end of [that Yspytty road]4609-that yspytty road ; and [he]4608-the post - boy thought [they]4606-they would have to rest there a day or two before [they]4606-they could go further than [Pen trĂȘ Voelas]26-pen trĂȘ voelas . Indeed , and anyhow , [the servant]692-the servant is to follow [them]4606-they with the baggage this very morning ; and now [I]122-mrs morgan remember , [William Wynn]144-william wynn said [they]4606-they would wait for [her]1434-her . [You]143-mr benson 'd better write a note , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , and tell [them]4606-they [her]1434-her state . "[122-mrs morgan] It was good , though unpalatable advice . It came from one accustomed to bring excellent , if unrefined sense , to bear quickly upon any emergency , and to decide rapidly . [She]1434-her was , in truth , so little accustomed to have [her]1434-her authority questioned , that before [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had made up [his]143-mr benson mind , [she]1434-her had produced paper , pens , and ink from the drawer in [[her]1434-her bureau]1435-her bureau , placed them before [him]143-mr benson , and was going to leave [the room]357-the room . " Leave the note on this shelf , and trust [me]1434-her that it goes by [the maid]4520-the maid . The boy that drives [her]1434-her there in [the car]4612-the car shall bring [you]143-mr benson an answer back . "[1434-her] [She]1434-her was gone before [he]143-mr benson could rally [his]143-mr benson scattered senses enough to remember that [he]143-mr benson had not the least idea of the name of [the party to whom [he]143-mr benson was to write]1437-the party to whom he was to write . The quiet leisure and peace of [[his]143-mr benson little study at [home]4124-home]1438-his little study at home favoured [his]143-mr benson habit of reverie and long deliberation , just as [her]1434-her position as [mistress of [an inn]949-an inn]1440-mistress of an inn obliged [her]1434-her to quick , decisive ways . [Her]1434-her advice , though good in some points , was unpalatable in others . It was true that [Ruth]81-ruth 's condition ought to be known by [those who were [[her]81-ruth friends]1443-her friends]1442-those who were her friends ; but were [these people to whom [he]143-mr benson was now going to write]1444-these people to whom he was now going to write , [friends]678-friends ? [He]143-mr benson knew there was [a rich mother]1446-a rich mother , and [a handsome , elegant son]1447-a handsome , elegant son ; and [he]143-mr benson had also some idea of the circumstances which might a little extenuate [their]1448-their mode of quitting [Ruth]81-ruth . [He]143-mr benson had wide enough sympathy to understand that it must have been a most painful position in which [the mother]618-the mother had been placed , on finding [herself]618-the mother under the same roof with [a girl who was living with [[her]618-the mother son]990-her son , as [Ruth]81-ruth was]1450-a girl who was living with her son , as ruth was . And yet [he]143-mr benson did not like to apply to [her]618-the mother ; to write to [the son]1452-the son was still more out of the question , as it seemed like asking [him]1452-the son to return . But through one or the other lay the only clue to [[her]618-the mother friends]1443-her friends , who certainly ought to be made acquainted with [her]618-the mother position . At length [he]143-mr benson wrote : [MADAM,--I]145-madam,--i write to tell [you]145-madam,--i of the condition of [the poor young woman--[here]1454-the poor young woman--[here came a long pause of deliberation]--who accompanied [[your]145-madam,--i son]1455-your son on [his]1452-the son arrival [here]4172-here , and who was left behind on [your]145-madam,--i departure yesterday . [She]81-ruth is lying ( as it appears to [me]0-i ) in a very dangerous state at [[my]0-i lodgings]1457-my lodgings ; and , if [I]0-i may suggest , it would be kind to allow [[your]145-madam,--i maid]1458-your maid to return and attend upon [her]81-ruth until [she]81-ruth is sufficiently recovered to be restored to [[her]81-ruth friends]1443-her friends , if , indeed , [they]1443-her friends could not come to take charge of [her]81-ruth [themselves]1443-her friends . [I]0-i remain , [madam]4543-madam , [[Your]145-madam,--i obedient servant]1461-your obedient servant , [THURSTAN BENSON]146-thurstan . The note was very unsatisfactory after all [his]0-i consideration , but it was the best [he]0-i could do . [He]0-i made inquiry of [a passing servant]1462-a passing servant as to [the lady]470-the lady 's name , directed the note , and placed it on the indicated shelf . [He]0-i then returned to [[his]0-i lodgings]1464-his lodgings , to await [the doctor]4191-the doctor 's coming and [the post - boy]4608-the post - boy 's return . There was no alteration in [Ruth]81-ruth ; [she]81-ruth was as one stunned into unconsciousness ; [she]81-ruth did not move [her]81-ruth posture , [she]81-ruth hardly breathed . From time to time [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes wetted [her]142-mrs hughes mouth with some liquid , and there was a little mechanical motion of the lips ; that was the only sign of life [she]142-mrs hughes gave . [The doctor]4191-the doctor came and shook [his]4191-the doctor head,--"a thorough prostration of strength , occasioned by some great shock on the nerves,"--and[4191-the doctor] prescribed care and quiet , and mysterious medicines , but acknowledged that the result was doubtful , very doubtful . After [his]0-i departure , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson took [his]0-i Welsh grammar and tried again to master the ever - puzzling rules for the mutations of letters ; but it was of no use , for [his]0-i thoughts were absorbed by the life - in - death condition of the young creature , who was lately bounding and joyous . [The maid]4520-the maid and the luggage , [the car]4612-the car and [the driver]1470-the driver , had arrived before noon at [their]1471-their journey 's end , and the note had been delivered . It annoyed [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham exceedingly . It was the worst of these kind of connexions , there was no calculating the consequences ; they were never - ending . All sorts of claims seemed to be established , and all sorts of [people]322-people to step in to [[their]1471-their settlement]1473-their settlement . The idea of sending [[her]96-mrs bellingham maid]4434-her maid ! Why , [Simpson]136-simpson would not go if [she]96-mrs bellingham asked [her]96-mrs bellingham . [She]96-mrs bellingham soliloquised thus while reading the letter ; and then , suddenly turning round to [the favourite attendant]1475-the favourite attendant , who had been listening to [[her]96-mrs bellingham mistress]1274-her mistress 's remarks with no inattentive ear , [she]96-mrs bellingham asked : " [Simpson]136-simpson , would [you]136-simpson go and nurse [this creature]4613-this creature , as this-- "[96-mrs bellingham] [she]96-mrs bellingham looked at the signature--"Mr [Benson]143-mr benson , whoever [he]143-mr benson is , proposes ? "[96-mrs bellingham] " [Me]4520-the maid ! no , indeed , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , "[4520-the maid] said [the maid]4520-the maid , drawing [herself]4520-the maid up , stiff in [her]4520-the maid virtue . " [I]4520-the maid 'm sure , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [you]4148-ma'am would not expect it of [me]4520-the maid ; [I]4520-the maid could never have the face to dress [a lady of character]4616-a lady of character again . "[4520-the maid] " Well , well ! do n't be alarmed ; [I]4520-the maid can not spare [you]4148-ma'am ; by the way , just attend to the strings on [my]4520-the maid dress ; [the chambermaid here]4617-the chambermaid here pulled them into knots , and broke them terribly , last night . It is awkward though , very , "[4520-the maid] said [she]4520-the maid , relapsing into a musing fit over the condition of [Ruth]81-ruth . " If [you]4148-ma'am 'll allow [me]96-mrs bellingham , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [I]96-mrs bellingham think [I]96-mrs bellingham might say something that would alter the case . [I]96-mrs bellingham believe , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [you]4148-ma'am put a bank - note into the letter to [the young woman]4568-the young woman yesterday ? "[96-mrs bellingham] [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham bowed acquiescence , and [the maid]4520-the maid went on : " Because , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , when [the little deformed man]4622-the little deformed man wrote that note ( [he]4622-the little deformed man 's [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , [ma'am]4148-ma'am ) , [I]4520-the maid have reason to believe neither [he]4622-the little deformed man nor [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan knew of any provision being made for [the young woman]4568-the young woman . [Me]4520-the maid and [the chambermaid]1328-the chambermaid found [your]4148-ma'am letter and the bank - note lying quite promiscuous , like waste paper , on the floor of [[her]4568-the young woman room]792-her room ; for [I]4520-the maid believe [she]4568-the young woman rushed out like mad after [you]4148-ma'am left . "[4520-the maid] " That , as [you]4520-the maid say , alters the case . This letter , then , is principally a sort of delicate hint that some provision ought to have been made , which is true enough , only it has been attended to already ; what became of the money ? "[4520-the maid] " Law , [ma'am]4148-ma'am ! do [you]4520-the maid ask ? Of course , as soon as [I]4520-the maid saw it , [I]4520-the maid picked it up and took it to [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan , in trust for [the young person]4628-the young person . "[4520-the maid] " Oh , that 's right . What [friends]678-friends has [she]4568-the young woman ? Did [you]4148-ma'am ever hear from [Mason?--perhaps]4630-mason?--perhaps [they]678-friends ought to know where [she]4568-the young woman is . "[4520-the maid] " [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason did tell [me]4520-the maid , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [she]4568-the young woman was [an orphan]4231-an orphan ; with [a guardian who was no - ways akin]4633-a guardian who was no - ways akin , and who washed [his]4633-a guardian who was no - ways akin hands of [her]4568-the young woman when [she]4568-the young woman ran off ; but [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason was sadly put out , and went into hysterics , for fear [you]4148-ma'am would think [she]82-mrs mason had not seen after [her]4568-the young woman enough , and that [she]82-mrs mason might lose [your]4148-ma'am custom ; [she]82-mrs mason said it was no fault of [hers]82-mrs mason , for [the girl]1016-the girl was always a forward creature , boasting of [her]82-mrs mason beauty , and saying how pretty [she]82-mrs mason was , and striving to get where [her]82-mrs mason good looks could be seen and admired,--one night in particular , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , at a county ball ; and how [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason had found out [she]82-mrs mason used to meet [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham at [[an old woman]4636-an old woman 's house]4637-an old woman 's house , who was [a regular old witch]4638-a regular old witch , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , and lives in [the lowest part of [the town]396-the town]4640-the lowest part of the town , where [all the bad characters]4642-all the bad characters haunt . "[4520-the maid] " [There]332-there ! that 's enough , "[96-mrs bellingham] said [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham , sharply , for [the maid]4520-the maid 's chattering had outrun [her]96-mrs bellingham tact ; and in [her]96-mrs bellingham anxiety to vindicate the character of [[her]96-mrs bellingham friend]431-her friend [Mrs Mason]82-mrs mason by blackening that of [Ruth]81-ruth , [she]96-mrs bellingham had forgotten that [she]96-mrs bellingham a little implicated [[[her]96-mrs bellingham mistress]1274-her mistress 's son , whom [[his]1482-her mistress 's son , whom his proud mother did not like to imagine as ever passing through a low and degraded part of the town proud mother]1483-his proud mother did not like to imagine as ever passing through [a low and degraded part of [the town]396-the town]1484-a low and degraded part of the town]1482-her mistress 's son , whom his proud mother did not like to imagine as ever passing through a low and degraded part of the town . " If [she]82-mrs mason has [no friends]690-no friends , and is the creature [you]4645-you describe ( which is confirmed by [my]96-mrs bellingham own observation ) , [the best place for [her]82-mrs mason]4646-the best place for her is , as [I]96-mrs bellingham said before , [the Penitentiary]4647-the penitentiary . [Her]82-mrs mason fifty pounds will keep [her]82-mrs mason for a week or so , if [she]82-mrs mason is really unable to travel , and pay for [her]82-mrs mason journey ; and if on [her]82-mrs mason return to [Fordham]27-fordham [she]82-mrs mason will let [me]96-mrs bellingham know , [I]96-mrs bellingham will undertake to obtain [her]82-mrs mason admission immediately . "[96-mrs bellingham] " [I]96-mrs bellingham 'm sure it 's well for [her]82-mrs mason [she]82-mrs mason has to do with a lady who will take any interest in [her]82-mrs mason , after what has happened . "[96-mrs bellingham] [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham called for [her]96-mrs bellingham writing - desk , and wrote a few hasty lines to be sent back by [the post - boy , who was on the point of starting]1486-the post - boy , who was on the point of starting : [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham presents [her]96-mrs bellingham compliments to [[her]96-mrs bellingham unknown correspondent]1487-her unknown correspondent , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , and begs to inform [him]143-mr benson of a circumstance of which [she]96-mrs bellingham believes [he]143-mr benson was ignorant when [he]143-mr benson wrote the letter with which [she]96-mrs bellingham has been favoured ; namely , that provision to the amount of ÂŁ 50 was left for [the unfortunate young person who is the subject of [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's letter]1488-the unfortunate young person who is the subject of mr benson 's letter . This sum is in the hands of [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan , as well as a note from [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham to [the miserable girl]1489-the miserable girl , in which [she]96-mrs bellingham proposes to procure [her]96-mrs bellingham admission into [the Fordham Penitentiary]28-the fordham penitentiary , the best place for [such a character]1490-such a character , as by this profligate action [she]96-mrs bellingham has forfeited [the only friend remaining to [her]96-mrs bellingham in [the world]506-the world]1491-the only friend remaining to her in the world . This proposition , [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham repeats ; and [they]1493-they are [[the young woman]4568-the young woman 's best friends who most urge [her]96-mrs bellingham to comply with the course now pointed out]1495-the young woman 's best friends who most urge her to comply with the course now pointed out . " Take care [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham hears nothing of this [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's note , "[96-mrs bellingham] said [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham , as [she]96-mrs bellingham delivered the answer to [[her]96-mrs bellingham maid]4434-her maid ; " [he]143-mr benson is so sensitive just now that it would annoy [him]143-mr benson sadly , [I]96-mrs bellingham am sure . "[96-mrs bellingham] CHAPTER XI [Thurstan]146-thurstan and [Faith Benson]147-faith [You]1497-you have now seen the note which was delivered into [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's hands , as the cool shades of evening stole over the glowing summer sky . When [he]143-mr benson had read it , [he]143-mr benson again prepared to write a few hasty lines before the post went out . [The post - boy]4608-the post - boy was even now sounding [his]4608-the post - boy horn through [the village]1138-the village as a signal for letters to be ready ; and it was well that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , in [his]143-mr benson long morning 's meditation , had decided upon the course to be pursued , in case of such an answer as that which [he]143-mr benson had received from [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham . [His]143-mr benson present note was as follows : [DEAR]4155-dear [FAITH,--You]4155-dear must come to [this place]1323-this place directly , where [I]0-i earnestly desire [you]4155-dear and [your]4155-dear advice . [I]0-i am well [myself]0-i , so do not be alarmed . [I]0-i have no time for explanation , but [I]0-i am sure [you]4155-dear will not refuse [me]0-i ; let [me]0-i trust that [I]0-i shall see [you]4155-dear on Saturday at the latest . [You]4155-dear know the mode by which [I]0-i came ; it is the best for expedition and cheapness . [Dear Faith]147-faith , do not fail [me]0-i . [[Your]4155-dear affectionate brother]1502-your affectionate brother , [THURSTAN BENSON]146-thurstan . P.S.--I am afraid the money [I]0-i left may be running short . Do not let this stop [you]4155-dear . Take [[my]0-i Facciolati]1503-my facciolati to [Johnson]125-johnson 's , [he]1502-your affectionate brother will advance upon it ; it is the third row , bottom shelf . Only come . When this letter was despatched [he]146-thurstan had done all [he]146-thurstan could ; and the next two days passed like a long monotonous dream of watching , thought , and care , undisturbed by any event , hardly by the change from day to night , which , now the harvest moon was at [her]1504-her full , was scarcely perceptible . On Saturday morning the answer came . [DEAREST THURSTAN,--Your]81-ruth incomprehensible summons has just reached [me]0-i , and [I]0-i obey , thereby proving [my]0-i right to [my]0-i name of [Faith]147-faith . [I]0-i shall be with [you]4155-dear almost as soon as this letter . [I]0-i can not help feeling anxious , as well as curious . [I]0-i have money enough , and it is well [I]0-i have ; for [Sally]148-sally , who guards [[your]4155-dear room]4566-your room like a dragon , would rather see [me]0-i walk the whole way , than have any of [your]4155-dear things disturbed . [[Your]4155-dear affectionate sister]1506-your affectionate sister , [FAITH BENSON]147-faith . It was a great relief to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson to think that [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister would so soon be with [him]143-mr benson . [He]143-mr benson had been accustomed from childhood to rely on [her]4508-his sister prompt judgment and excellent sense ; and to [her]4508-his sister care [he]143-mr benson felt that [Ruth]81-ruth ought to be consigned , as it was too much to go on taxing [good Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes with night watching and sick nursing , with all [her]4508-his sister other claims on [her]4508-his sister time . [He]143-mr benson asked [her]4508-his sister once more to sit by [Ruth]81-ruth , while [he]143-mr benson went to meet [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister . [The coach]1509-the coach passed by the foot of the steep ascent which led up to [Llan - dhu]31-llan - dhu . [He]143-mr benson took [a boy]1510-a boy to carry [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's luggage when [she]4508-his sister arrived ; [they]1512-they were too soon at [the bottom of [the hill]4277-the hill]1513-the bottom of the hill , and [the boy]4189-the boy began to make ducks and drakes in [the shallowest part of [the stream]553-the stream]1516-the shallowest part of the stream , which there flowed glassy and smooth , while [Mr Benson]143-mr benson sat down on a great stone , under the shadow of [an alder bush which grew where [the green , flat meadow skirted the water]1519-the green , flat meadow skirted the water]1518-an alder bush which grew where the green , flat meadow skirted the water . It was delightful to be once more in the open air , and away from the scenes and thoughts which had been pressing on [him]143-mr benson for the last three days . There was new beauty in everything : from the blue mountains which glimmered in the distant sunlight , down to [the flat , rich , peaceful vale]1520-the flat , rich , peaceful vale , with [its]1520-the flat , rich , peaceful vale calm round shadows , where [he]143-mr benson sat . The very margin of white pebbles which lay on [the banks of [the stream]553-the stream]1521-the banks of the stream had a sort of cleanly beauty about it . [He]143-mr benson felt calmer and more at ease than [he]143-mr benson had done for some days ; and yet , when [he]143-mr benson began to think , it was rather a strange story which [he]143-mr benson had to tell [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , in order to account for [his]143-mr benson urgent summons . Here was [he]143-mr benson , [sole friend and guardian of [a poor sick girl]1525-a poor sick girl , whose very name [he]143-mr benson did not know]1524-sole friend and guardian of a poor sick girl , whose very name he did not know ; about whom all that [he]143-mr benson did know was , that [she]1525-a poor sick girl had been [the mistress of [a man who had deserted [her]1525-a poor sick girl]1527-a man who had deserted her , and that [he]143-mr benson feared -- [he]143-mr benson believed -- [she]1525-a poor sick girl had contemplated suicide]1526-the mistress of a man who had deserted her , and that he feared -- he believed -- she had contemplated suicide . The offence , too , was one for which [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , good and kind as [she]4508-his sister was , had little compassion . Well , [he]143-mr benson must appeal to [her]4508-his sister love for [him]143-mr benson , which was a very unsatisfactory mode of proceeding , as [he]143-mr benson would far rather have had [her]4508-his sister interest in [the girl]1016-the girl founded on reason , or some less personal basis than showing it merely because [[her]4508-his sister brother]982-her brother wished it . [The coach]1509-the coach came slowly rumbling over [the stony road]1532-the stony road . [[His]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister was outside , but got down in a brisk active way , and greeted [[her]4508-his sister brother]982-her brother heartily and affectionately . [She]4508-his sister was considerably taller than [he]143-mr benson was , and must have been very handsome ; [her]4508-his sister black hair was parted plainly over [her]4508-his sister forehead , and [her]4508-his sister dark , expressive eyes and straight nose still retained the beauty of [her]4508-his sister youth . [I]0-i do not know whether [she]4508-his sister was older than [[her]4508-his sister brother]982-her brother , but , probably owing to [his]143-mr benson infirmity requiring [her]4508-his sister care , [she]4508-his sister had something of [a mother]1536-a mother 's manner towards [him]143-mr benson . " [Thurstan]146-thurstan , [you]146-thurstan are looking pale ! [I]4508-his sister do not believe [you]146-thurstan are well , whatever [you]146-thurstan may say . Have [you]146-thurstan had the old pain in [your]146-thurstan back ? "[4508-his sister] " No -- a little -- never mind that , dearest [Faith]147-faith . Sit down here , while [I]143-mr benson send [the boy]4189-the boy up with [[your]146-thurstan box]4649-your box . "[143-mr benson] And then , with some little desire to show [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister how well [he]143-mr benson was acquainted with the language , [he]143-mr benson blundered out [his]143-mr benson directions in very grammatical Welsh ; so grammatical , in fact , and so badly pronounced , that [the boy]4189-the boy , scratching [his]4189-the boy head , made answer , " Dim Saesoneg . "[4189-the boy] So [he]143-mr benson had to repeat it in English . " Well now , [Thurstan]146-thurstan , here [I]143-mr benson sit as [you]146-thurstan bid [me]143-mr benson . But do n't try [me]143-mr benson too long ; tell [me]143-mr benson why [you]146-thurstan sent for [me]143-mr benson . "[143-mr benson] Now came the difficulty , and oh ! for [a seraph]1539-a seraph 's tongue , and a seraph 's powers of representation ! but there was no seraph at hand , only the soft running waters singing a quiet tune , and predisposing [Miss Benson]143-mr benson to listen with a soothed spirit to any tale , not immediately involving [[her]4508-his sister brother]982-her brother 's welfare , which had been the cause of [her]4508-his sister seeing that lovely vale . " It is an awkward story to tell , [Faith]147-faith , but there is [a young woman lying ill at [[my]143-mr benson lodgings]1457-my lodgings whom [I]143-mr benson wanted [you]147-faith to nurse]4650-a young woman lying ill at my lodgings whom i wanted you to nurse . "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson thought [he]143-mr benson saw a shadow on [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's face , and detected a slight change in [her]4508-his sister voice as [she]4508-his sister spoke . " Nothing very romantic , [I]4508-his sister hope , [Thurstan]146-thurstan . Remember , [I]4508-his sister can not stand much romance ; [I]4508-his sister always distrust it . "[4508-his sister] " [I]143-mr benson do n't know what [you]143-mr benson mean by romance . The story is real enough , and not out of the common way , [I]143-mr benson 'm afraid . "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson paused ; [he]143-mr benson did not get over the difficulty . " Well , tell it [me]143-mr benson at once , [Thurstan]146-thurstan . [I]143-mr benson am afraid [you]143-mr benson have let [some one]378-some one , or perhaps only [your]143-mr benson own imagination , impose upon [you]143-mr benson ; but do n't try [my]143-mr benson patience too much ; [you]143-mr benson know [I]143-mr benson 've no great stock . "[143-mr benson] " Then [I]143-mr benson 'll tell [you]143-mr benson . [The young girl]1017-the young girl was brought to [the inn]1055-the inn [here]4172-here by [a gentleman]1084-a gentleman , who has left [her]1017-the young girl ; [she]1017-the young girl is very ill , and has [no one]517-no one to see after [her]1017-the young girl . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had some masculine tricks , and one was whistling a long , low whistle when surprised or displeased . [She]1542-she had often found it a useful vent for feelings , and [she]1542-she whistled now . [[Her]1542-she brother]982-her brother would rather [she]1542-she had spoken . " Have [you]982-her brother sent for [[her]1017-the young girl friends]1443-her friends ? "[1542-she] [she]1542-she asked at last . " [She]1017-the young girl has none . "[1542-she] Another pause and another whistle , but rather softer and more wavering than the last . " How is [she]1017-the young girl ill ? "[1542-she] " Pretty nearly as quiet as if [she]1017-the young girl were dead . [She]1017-the young girl does not speak , or move , or even sigh . "[1542-she] " It would be better for [her]1017-the young girl to die at once , [I]1542-she think . "[1542-she] " [Faith]147-faith ! "[1542-she] That one word put [them]1544-them right . It was spoken in the tone which had authority over [her]1542-she ; it was so full of grieved surprise and mournful upbraiding . [She]1542-she was accustomed to exercise a sway over [him]982-her brother , owing to [her]1542-she greater decision of character , and , probably , if everything were traced to its cause , to [her]1542-she superior vigour of constitution ; but at times [she]1542-she was humbled before [his]982-her brother pure , childlike nature , and felt where [she]1542-she was inferior . [She]1542-she was too good and true to conceal this feeling , or to resent its being forced upon [her]1542-she . After a time [she]1542-she said , " [Thurstan]146-thurstan , [dear]4155-dear , let [us]1546-they go to [her]1542-she . "[1542-she] [She]1542-she helped [him]982-her brother with tender care , and gave [him]982-her brother [her]1542-she arm up [the long and tedious hill]1545-the long and tedious hill ; but when [they]1546-they approached [the village]1138-the village , without speaking a word on the subject , [they]1546-they changed [their]1546-they position , and [she]1542-she leant ( apparently ) on [him]982-her brother . [He]982-her brother stretched [himself]982-her brother up into as vigorous a gait as [he]982-her brother could , when [they]1546-they drew near to the abodes of [men]836-men . On the way [they]1546-they had spoken but little . [He]982-her brother had asked after [various members of [[his]982-her brother congregation]1550-his congregation]1549-various members of his congregation , for [he]982-her brother was [a Dissenting minister in [a country town]1552-a country town]1551-a dissenting minister in a country town , and [she]1542-she had answered ; but [they]1546-they neither of [them]1546-they spoke of [Ruth]81-ruth , though [their]1546-they minds were full of [her]81-ruth . [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes had tea ready for [the traveller]1553-the traveller on [her]142-mrs hughes arrival . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson chafed a little internally at the leisurely way in which [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister sipped and sipped , and paused to tell [him]143-mr benson some trifling particular respecting [home]4124-home affairs , which [she]4508-his sister had forgotten before . " [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw has refused to let [the children]550-the children associate with [the Dixons]150-the dixons any longer , because one evening [they]550-the children played at acting charades . "[4508-his sister] " Indeed;--a little more bread and butter , [Faith]147-faith ? "[143-mr benson] " Thank [you]143-mr benson . This Welsh air does make one hungry . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw is paying [poor old Maggie]152-poor old maggie 's rent , to save [her]152-poor old maggie from being sent into [the workhouse]4661-the workhouse . "[143-mr benson] " That 's right . Wo n't [you]143-mr benson have another cup of tea ? "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson have had two . However , [I]143-mr benson think [I]143-mr benson 'll take another . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson could not refrain from a little sigh as [he]143-mr benson poured it out . [He]143-mr benson thought [he]143-mr benson had never seen [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister so deliberately hungry and thirsty before . [He]143-mr benson did not guess that [she]4508-his sister was feeling the meal rather a respite from a distasteful interview , which [she]4508-his sister was aware was awaiting [her]4508-his sister at its conclusion . But all things come to an end , and so did [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's tea . " Now , will [you]143-mr benson go and see [her]81-ruth ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes . "[142-mrs hughes] And so [they]1557-they went . [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes had pinned up a piece of green calico , by way of a Venetian blind , to shut out the afternoon sun ; and in the light thus shaded lay [Ruth]81-ruth , still , and wan , and white . Even with [[her]142-mrs hughes brother]982-her brother 's account of [Ruth]81-ruth 's state , such death - like quietness startled [Miss Benson]143-mr benson -- startled [her]142-mrs hughes into pity for [the poor lovely creature who lay thus stricken and felled]1559-the poor lovely creature who lay thus stricken and felled . When [she]142-mrs hughes saw [her]81-ruth , [she]142-mrs hughes could no longer imagine [her]81-ruth to be [an impostor]1560-an impostor , or [a hardened sinner]1561-a hardened sinner ; such prostration of woe belonged to neither . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson looked more at [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's face than at [Ruth]81-ruth 's ; [he]143-mr benson read [her]81-ruth countenance as a book . [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes stood by , crying . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson touched [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , and [they]1564-they left [the room]357-the room together . " Do [you]142-mrs hughes think [she]81-ruth will live ? "[143-mr benson] asked [he]143-mr benson . " [I]143-mr benson can not tell , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , in a softened voice . " But how young [she]81-ruth looks ! Quite [a child]556-a child , poor creature ! When will [the doctor]4191-the doctor come , [Thurstan]146-thurstan ? Tell [me]143-mr benson all about [her]81-ruth ; [you]146-thurstan have never told [me]143-mr benson the particulars . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson might have said , [she]4508-his sister had never cared to hear them before , and had rather avoided the subject ; but [he]143-mr benson was too happy to see this awakening of interest in [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's warm heart to say anything in the least reproachful . [He]143-mr benson told [her]4508-his sister the story as well as [he]143-mr benson could ; and , as [he]143-mr benson felt it deeply , [he]143-mr benson told it with heart 's eloquence ; and , as [he]143-mr benson ended and looked at [her]4508-his sister , there were tears in the eyes of both . " And what does [the doctor]4191-the doctor say ? "[4508-his sister] asked [she]4508-his sister , after a pause . " [He]4191-the doctor insists upon quiet ; [he]4191-the doctor orders medicines and strong broth . [I]4508-his sister can not tell [you]146-thurstan all ; [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes can . [She]4508-his sister has been so truly good . ' Doing good , hoping for nothing again . ' "[4508-his sister] " [She]4508-his sister looks very sweet and gentle . [I]4508-his sister shall sit up to - night and watch [her]4508-his sister [myself]4508-his sister ; and [I]4508-his sister shall send [you]146-thurstan and [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes early to bed , for [you]146-thurstan have both a worn look about [you]146-thurstan [I]4508-his sister do n't like . Are [you]146-thurstan sure the effect of that fall has gone off ? Do [you]146-thurstan feel anything of it in [your]146-thurstan back still ? After all , [I]4508-his sister owe [her]4508-his sister something for turning back to [your]146-thurstan help . Are [you]146-thurstan sure [she]4508-his sister was going to drown [herself]4508-his sister ? "[4508-his sister] " [I]4508-his sister can not be sure , for [I]4508-his sister have not questioned [her]4508-his sister . [She]4508-his sister has not been in a state to be questioned ; but [I]4508-his sister have no doubt whatever about it . But [you]146-thurstan must not think of sitting up after [your]146-thurstan journey , [Faith]147-faith . "[4508-his sister] " Answer [me]4508-his sister , [Thurstan]146-thurstan . Do [you]146-thurstan feel any bad effect from that fall ? "[4508-his sister] " No , hardly any . Do n't sit up , [Faith]147-faith , to - night ! "[4508-his sister] " [Thurstan]146-thurstan , it 's no use talking , for [I]4508-his sister shall ; and , if [you]146-thurstan go on opposing [me]4508-his sister , [I]4508-his sister dare say [I]4508-his sister shall attack [your]146-thurstan back , and put a blister on it . Do tell [me]4508-his sister what that ' hardly any ' means . Besides , to set [you]146-thurstan quite at ease , [you]146-thurstan know [I]4508-his sister have never seen [mountains]4665-mountains before , and [they]4665-mountains fill [me]4508-his sister and oppress [me]4508-his sister so much that [I]4508-his sister could not sleep ; [I]4508-his sister must keep awake this first night , and see that [they]4665-mountains do n't fall on [the earth]843-the earth and overwhelm it . And now answer [my]4508-his sister questions about [yourself]4667-yourself . "[4508-his sister] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had the power , which [some people]1567-some people have , of carrying [her]1568-her wishes through to [their]1567-some people fulfilment ; [her]1568-her will was strong , [her]1568-her sense was excellent , and [people]322-people yielded to [her]1568-her -- [they]322-people did not know why . Before ten o'clock [she]1568-her reigned sole power and potentate in [[Ruth]81-ruth 's little chamber]1570-ruth 's little chamber . Nothing could have been better devised for giving [her]1568-her an interest in [the invalid]738-the invalid . The very dependence of one so helpless upon [her]1568-her care inclined [her]1568-her heart towards [her]1568-her . [She]1568-her thought [she]1568-her perceived a slight improvement in the symptoms during the night , and [she]1568-her was a little pleased that this progress should have been made while [she]1568-her reigned monarch of [the sick - room]1188-the sick - room . Yes , certainly there was an improvement . There was more consciousness in the look of the eyes , although the whole countenance still retained its painful traces of acute suffering , manifested in an anxious , startled , uneasy aspect . It was broad morning light , though barely five o'clock , when [Miss Benson]143-mr benson caught the sight of [Ruth]81-ruth 's lips moving , as if in speech . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson stooped down to listen . " Who are [you]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , in the faintest of whispers . " [Miss Benson]143-mr benson -- [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's sister]4668-mr benson 's sister , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth replied . The words conveyed no knowledge to [Ruth]81-ruth ; on the contrary , weak as [a babe in mind and body]1573-a babe in mind and body as [she]81-ruth was , [her]81-ruth lips began to quiver , and [her]81-ruth eyes to show a terror similar to that of [any little child who wakens in the presence of a stranger]1574-any little child who wakens in the presence of a stranger , and sees no dear , familiar face of [mother]4127-mother or [nurse]4476-nurse to reassure [its]1574-any little child who wakens in the presence of a stranger trembling heart . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson took [her]81-ruth hand in [hers]143-mr benson , and began to stroke it caressingly . " Do n't be afraid , [dear]4155-dear ; [I]143-mr benson 'm [a friend]672-a friend come to take care of [you]4155-dear . Would [you]4155-dear like some tea now , [[my]143-mr benson love]4345-my love ? "[143-mr benson] The very utterance of these gentle words was unlocking [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's heart . [[Her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother was surprised to see [her]81-ruth so full of interest , when [he]982-her brother came to inquire later on in the morning . It required [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes 's persuasions , as well as [his]982-her brother own , to induce [her]81-ruth to go to bed for an hour or two after breakfast ; and , before [she]81-ruth went , [she]81-ruth made [them]1578-them promise that [she]81-ruth should be called when [the doctor]4191-the doctor came . [He]982-her brother did not come until late in the afternoon . [The invalid]738-the invalid was rallying fast , though rallying to a consciousness of sorrow , as was evinced by the tears which came slowly rolling down [her]81-ruth pale sad cheeks -- tears which [she]81-ruth had not the power to wipe away . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had remained in [the house]426-the house all day to hear [the doctor]4191-the doctor 's opinion ; and now that [he]143-mr benson was relieved from the charge of [Ruth]81-ruth by [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's presence , [he]143-mr benson had the more time to dwell upon the circumstances of [her]81-ruth case -- so far as they were known to [him]143-mr benson . [He]143-mr benson remembered [his]143-mr benson first sight of [her]81-ruth ; [her]81-ruth little figure swaying to and fro as [she]81-ruth balanced [herself]81-ruth on the slippery stones , half smiling at [her]81-ruth own dilemma , with a bright , happy light in the eyes that seemed like a reflection from the glancing waters sparkling below . Then [he]143-mr benson recalled the changed , affrighted look of those eyes as they met [his]143-mr benson , after [the child]565-the child 's rebuff of [her]81-ruth advances;--how that little incident filled up the tale at which [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes had hinted , in a kind of sorrowful way , as if loath ( as [a Christian]1585-a christian should be ) to believe evil . Then that fearful evening , when [he]143-mr benson had only just saved [her]81-ruth from committing suicide , and that nightmare sleep ! And now , lost , forsaken , and but just delivered from the jaws of death , [she]81-ruth lay dependent for everything on [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister and [him,--utter strangers]1587-him,--utter strangers a few weeks ago . Where was [[her]81-ruth lover]1247-her lover ? Could [he]143-mr benson be easy and happy ? Could [he]143-mr benson grow into perfect health , with these great sins pressing on [his]143-mr benson conscience with a strong and hard pain ? Or had [he]143-mr benson a conscience ? Into whole labyrinths of social ethics [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's thoughts wandered , when [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister entered suddenly and abruptly . " What does [the doctor]4191-the doctor say ? Is [she]4508-his sister better ? "[4508-his sister] " Oh , yes ! [she]4508-his sister 's better , "[143-mr benson] answered [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , sharp and short . [[Her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother looked at [her]81-ruth in dismay . [She]81-ruth bumped down into a chair in a cross , disconcerted manner . [They]1591-they were both silent for a few minutes ; only [Miss Benson]143-mr benson whistled and clucked alternately . " What is the matter , [Faith]147-faith ? [You]147-faith say [she]4508-his sister is better . "[143-mr benson] " Why , [Thurstan]146-thurstan , there is something so shocking the matter , that [I]143-mr benson can not tell [you]146-thurstan . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson changed colour with affright . All things possible and impossible crossed [his]143-mr benson mind but the right one . [I]0-i said , " all things possible ; "[0-i] [I]0-i made a mistake . [He]143-mr benson never believed [Ruth]81-ruth to be more guilty than [she]81-ruth seemed . " [Faith]147-faith , [I]143-mr benson wish [you]147-faith would tell [me]143-mr benson , and not bewilder [me]143-mr benson with those noises of yours , "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , nervously . " [I]143-mr benson beg [your]147-faith pardon ; but something so shocking has just been discovered -- [I]143-mr benson do n't know how to word it -- [She]81-ruth will have [a child]556-a child . [The doctor]4191-the doctor says so . "[143-mr benson] [She]81-ruth was allowed to make noises unnoticed for a few minutes . [[Her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother did not speak . At last [she]81-ruth wanted [his]143-mr benson sympathy . " Is n't it shocking , [Thurstan]146-thurstan ? [You]146-thurstan might have knocked [me]81-ruth down with a straw when [he]4191-the doctor told [me]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] " Does [she]81-ruth know ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes ; and [I]143-mr benson am not sure that that is n't the worst part of all . "[143-mr benson] " How?--what do [you]146-thurstan mean ? "[81-ruth] " Oh ! [I]143-mr benson was just beginning to have a good opinion of [her]81-ruth , but [I]143-mr benson 'm afraid [she]81-ruth is very depraved . After [the doctor]4191-the doctor was gone , [she]81-ruth pulled the bed - curtain aside , and looked as if [she]81-ruth wanted to speak to [me]143-mr benson . ( [I]143-mr benson ca n't think how [she]81-ruth heard , for [we]4676-we were close to the window , and spoke very low . ) Well , [I]143-mr benson went to [her]81-ruth , though [I]143-mr benson really had taken quite a turn against [her]81-ruth . And [she]81-ruth whispered , quite eagerly , ' Did [he]4191-the doctor say [I]143-mr benson should have [a baby]4677-a baby ? ' Of course , [I]143-mr benson could not keep it from [her]81-ruth ; but [I]143-mr benson thought it [my]143-mr benson duty to look as cold and severe as [I]143-mr benson could . [She]81-ruth did not seem to understand how it ought to be viewed , but took it just as if [she]81-ruth had a right to have [a baby]4677-a baby . [She]81-ruth said , ' Oh , [[my]143-mr benson God]867-my god , [I]143-mr benson thank [Thee]143-mr benson ! Oh ! [I]143-mr benson will be so good ! ' [I]143-mr benson had no patience with [her]81-ruth then , so [I]143-mr benson left [the room]357-the room . "[143-mr benson] " Who is with [her]81-ruth ? "[143-mr benson] " [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes . [She]81-ruth is not seeing the thing in a moral light , as [I]81-ruth should have expected . "[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was silent again . After some time [he]143-mr benson began : " Faith , [I]143-mr benson do n't see this affair quite as [you]81-ruth do . [I]143-mr benson believe [I]143-mr benson am right . "[143-mr benson] " [You]143-mr benson surprise [me]143-mr benson , [brother]4681-brother ! [I]143-mr benson do n't understand [you]4681-brother . "[143-mr benson] " Wait awhile ! [I]81-ruth want to make [my]81-ruth feelings very clear to [you]4681-brother , but [I]81-ruth do n't know where to begin , or how to express [myself]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] " It is , indeed , an extraordinary subject for [us]4682-us to have to talk about ; but if once [I]982-her brother get clear of [this girl]4565-this girl , [I]982-her brother 'll wash [my]982-her brother hands of all such cases again . "[982-her brother] [[Her]1593-her brother]982-her brother was not attending to [her]1593-her ; [he]982-her brother was reducing [his]982-her brother own ideas to form . " Faith , do [you]1593-her know [I]982-her brother rejoice in [this child]4684-this child 's advent ? "[982-her brother] " May [God]104-leonard forgive [you]4681-brother , [Thurstan!--if]153-thurstan!--if [you]4681-brother know what [you]4681-brother are saying . But , surely , it is a temptation , [dear Thurstan]146-thurstan . "[982-her brother] " [I]982-her brother do not think it is a delusion . The sin appears to [me]982-her brother to be quite distinct from its consequences . "[982-her brother] " Sophistry -- and a temptation , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , decidedly . " No , it is not , "[982-her brother] said [[her]1593-her brother]982-her brother , with equal decision . " In the eye of [God]104-leonard , [she]4684-this child is exactly the same as if the life [she]4684-this child has led had left no trace behind . [We]4685-we knew [her]4684-this child errors before , [Faith]147-faith . "[982-her brother] " Yes , but not this disgrace -- this badge of [her]4684-this child shame ! "[982-her brother] " Faith , [Faith]147-faith ! let [me]1596-his beg of [you]4681-brother not to speak so of [the little innocent babe , who may be [[God]104-leonard 's messenger]4687-god 's messenger to lead [her]4684-this child back to [Him]104-leonard]4686-the little innocent babe , who may be god 's messenger to lead her back to him . Think again of [her]4684-this child first words -- the burst of nature from [her]4684-this child heart ! Did [she]4684-this child not turn to [God]104-leonard , and enter into a covenant with [Him--'I]104-leonard will be so good ? ' Why , it draws [her]4684-this child out of [herself]4684-this child ! If [her]4684-this child life has hitherto been self - seeking , and wickedly thoughtless , here is the very instrument to make [her]4684-this child forget [herself]4684-this child , and be thoughtful for another . Teach [her]4684-this child ( and [God]104-leonard will teach [her]4684-this child , if [man]661-man does not come between ) to reverence [[her]4684-this child child]631-her child ; and this reverence will shut out sin,--will be purification . "[1596-his] [He]1596-his was very much excited ; [he]1596-his was even surprised at [his]1596-his own excitement ; but [his]1596-his thoughts and meditations through the long afternoon had prepared [his]1596-his mind for this manner of viewing the subject . " These are quite new ideas to [me]143-mr benson , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , coldly . " [I]143-mr benson think [you]1596-his , [Thurstan]146-thurstan , are [the first person [I]143-mr benson ever heard rejoicing over the birth of [an illegitimate child]4691-an illegitimate child]4690-the first person i ever heard rejoicing over the birth of an illegitimate child . It appears to [me]143-mr benson , [I]143-mr benson must own , rather questionable morality . "[143-mr benson] " [I]1597-i do not rejoice . [I]1597-i have been all this afternoon mourning over the sin which has blighted [this young creature]4692-this young creature ; [I]1597-i have been dreading lest , as [she]4692-this young creature recovered consciousness , there should be a return of [her]4692-this young creature despair . [I]1597-i have been thinking of every holy word , every promise to [the penitent]4693-the penitent -- of the tenderness which led [the Magdalen]118-mary aright . [I]1597-i have been feeling , severely and reproachfully , the timidity which has hitherto made [me]1597-i blink all encounter with evils of this particular kind . Oh , Faith ! once for all , do not accuse [me]1597-i of questionable morality , when [I]1597-i am trying more than ever [I]1597-i did in [my]1597-i life to act as [[my]1597-i blessed Lord]4694-my blessed lord would have done . "[1597-i] [He]1597-i was very much agitated . [[His]1597-i sister]4508-his sister hesitated , and then [she]4508-his sister spoke more softly than before . " But , [Thurstan]146-thurstan , everything might have been done to ' lead [her]4692-this young creature right ' ( as [you]146-thurstan call it ) , without [this child]4684-this child , [this miserable offspring of sin]4696-this miserable offspring of sin . "[4508-his sister] " [The world]506-the world has , indeed , made [such children]4698-such children miserable , innocent as [they]4698-such children are ; but [I]4508-his sister doubt if this be according to the will of [God]104-leonard , unless it be [His]1597-i punishment for [the parents]4699-the parents ' guilt ; and even then [the world]506-the world 's way of treatment is too apt to harden [the mother]618-the mother 's natural love into something like hatred . Shame , and the terror of [friends]678-friends ' displeasure , turn [her]618-the mother mad -- defile [her]618-the mother holiest instincts ; and , as for [the fathers]4703-the fathers -- [God]104-leonard forgive [them]4703-the fathers ! [I]4508-his sister cannot -- at least , not just now . "[4508-his sister] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson thought on what [[her]1599-her brother]982-her brother said . At length [she]1599-her asked , " [Thurstan]146-thurstan ( remember [I]1599-her 'm not convinced ) , how would [you]146-thurstan have [this girl]4565-this girl treated according to [your]146-thurstan theory ? "[1599-her] " It will require some time , and much Christian love , to find out the best way . [I]982-her brother know [I]982-her brother 'm not very wise ; but the way [I]982-her brother think it would be right to act in , would be this-- "[982-her brother] [He]982-her brother thought for some time before [he]982-her brother spoke , and then said : " [She]4565-this girl has incurred a responsibility -- that [we]4705-we both acknowledge . [She]4565-this girl is about to become [a mother]1536-a mother , and have the direction and guidance of a little tender life . [I]982-her brother fancy such a responsibility must be serious and solemn enough , without making it into a heavy and oppressive burden , so that human nature recoils from bearing it . While [we]4705-we do all [we]4705-we can to strengthen [her]4565-this girl sense of responsibility , [I]982-her brother would likewise do all [we]4705-we can to make [her]4565-this girl feel that it is responsibility for what may become a blessing . "[982-her brother] " Whether [the children]550-the children are legitimate or illegitimate ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , drily . " Yes ! "[982-her brother] said [[her]1601-her brother]982-her brother , firmly . " The more [I]982-her brother think , the more [I]982-her brother believe [I]982-her brother am right . [No one]517-no one , "[982-her brother] said [he]982-her brother , blushing faintly as [he]982-her brother spoke , " can have a greater recoil from profligacy than [I]982-her brother have . [You]143-mr benson [yourself]143-mr benson have not greater sorrow over [this young creature]4692-this young creature 's sin than [I]982-her brother have : the difference is this , [you]143-mr benson confuse the consequences with the sin . "[982-her brother] " [I]982-her brother do n't understand metaphysics . "[982-her brother] " [I]1603-his am not aware that [I]1603-his am talking metaphysics . [I]1603-his can imagine that if the present occasion be taken rightly , and used well , all that is good in [her]4692-this young creature may be raised to a height unmeasured but by [God]104-leonard ; while all that is evil and dark may , by [His]104-leonard blessing , fade and disappear in the pure light of [[her]4692-this young creature child]631-her child 's presence . Oh , [Father]4711-father ! listen to [my]1603-his prayer , that [her]4692-this young creature redemption may date from this time . Help [us]4712-us to speak to [her]4692-this young creature in the loving spirit of [[thy]4692-this young creature Holy Son]4713-thy holy son ! "[1603-his] The tears were full in [his]1603-his eyes ; [he]1603-his almost trembled in [his]1603-his earnestness . [He]1603-his was faint with the strong power of [his]1603-his own conviction , and with [his]1603-his inability to move [[his]1603-his sister]4508-his sister . But [she]4508-his sister was shaken . [She]4508-his sister sat very still for a quarter of an hour or more , while [he]1603-his leaned back , exhausted by [his]1603-his own feelings . " [The poor child]997-the poor child ! "[4508-his sister] said [she]4508-his sister , at length--"the poor , [poor child]4142-poor child ! what it will have to struggle through and endure ! Do [you]1603-his remember [Thomas Wilkins]100-tom , and the way [he]100-tom threw the registry of [his]100-tom birth and baptism back in [your]1603-his face ? Why , [he]100-tom would not have the situation ; [he]100-tom went to [sea]4716-sea and was drowned , rather than present the record of [his]100-tom shame . "[4508-his sister] " [I]4508-his sister do remember it all . It has often haunted [me]4508-his sister . [She]1605-she must strengthen [[her]1605-she child]631-her child to look to [God]104-leonard , rather than to [man]661-man 's opinion . It will be the discipline , the penance , [she]1605-she has incurred . [She]1605-she must teach it to be ( humanly speaking ) self - dependent . "[4508-his sister] " But after all , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ( for [she]1605-she had known and esteemed poor [Thomas Wilkins]100-tom , and had mourned over [his]100-tom untimely death , and the recollection thereof softened her)--"after all , it might be concealed . [The very child]4719-the very child need never know [its]4719-the very child illegitimacy . "[1605-she] " How ? "[982-her brother] asked [[her]1605-she brother]982-her brother . " Why -- [we]4720-we know so little about [her]1605-she yet ; but in that letter , it said [she]1605-she had [no friends;--now]4721-no friends;--now , could [she]1605-she not go into quite [a fresh place]4722-a fresh place , and be passed off as [a widow]675-a widow ? "[1607-tempter] Ah , [tempter]1607-tempter ! [unconscious tempter]1608-unconscious tempter ! Here was a way of evading the trials for [the poor little unborn child , of which [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had never thought]1609-the poor little unborn child , of which mr benson had never thought . It was the decision -- the pivot , on which the fate of years moved ; and [he]143-mr benson turned it the wrong way . But it was not for [his]143-mr benson own sake . For [himself]143-mr benson , [he]143-mr benson was brave enough to tell the truth ; for [the little helpless baby]1610-the little helpless baby , about to enter [a cruel , biting world]1611-a cruel , biting world , [he]143-mr benson was tempted to evade the difficulty . [He]143-mr benson forgot what [he]143-mr benson had just said , of the discipline and penance to [the mother]618-the mother consisting in strengthening [[her]618-the mother child]631-her child to meet , trustfully and bravely , the consequences of [her]618-the mother own weakness . [He]143-mr benson remembered more clearly the wild fierceness , the Cain - like look , of [Thomas Wilkins]100-tom , as the obnoxious word in the baptismal registry told [him]143-mr benson that [he]143-mr benson must go forth branded into [the world]506-the world , with [his]143-mr benson hand against [every man]1615-every man 's , and [every man]1615-every man 's against [him]143-mr benson . " How could it be managed , [Faith]147-faith ? "[618-the mother] " Nay , [I]982-her brother must know much more , which [she]81-ruth alone can tell [us]4724-us , before [I]982-her brother can see how it is to be managed . It is certainly the best plan . "[982-her brother] " Perhaps it is , "[982-her brother] said [[her]618-the mother brother]982-her brother , thoughtfully , but no longer clearly or decidedly ; and so the conversation dropped . [Ruth]81-ruth moved the bed - curtain aside , in [her]81-ruth soft manner , when [Miss Benson]143-mr benson re - entered [the room]357-the room ; [she]81-ruth did not speak , but [she]81-ruth looked at [her]81-ruth as if [she]81-ruth wished [her]81-ruth to come near . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson went and stood by [her]81-ruth . [Ruth]81-ruth took [her]81-ruth hand in [hers]81-ruth and kissed it ; then , as if fatigued even by this slight movement , [she]81-ruth fell asleep . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson took up [her]618-the mother work , and thought over [[her]618-the mother brother]982-her brother 's speeches . [She]618-the mother was not convinced , but [she]618-the mother was softened and bewildered . CHAPTER XII Losing Sight of [the Welsh Mountains]1620-the welsh mountains [Miss Benson]143-mr benson continued in an undecided state of mind for the two next days ; but on the third , as [they]1621-they sat at breakfast , [she]618-the mother began to speak to [[her]618-the mother brother]982-her brother . " [That young creature]4725-that young creature 's name is [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth . "[618-the mother] " Indeed ! how did [you]143-mr benson find it out ? "[618-the mother] " From [herself]4725-that young creature , of course . [She]4725-that young creature is much stronger . [I]618-the mother slept with [her]4725-that young creature last night , and [I]618-the mother was aware [she]4725-that young creature was awake long before [I]618-the mother liked to speak , but at last [I]618-the mother began . [I]618-the mother do n't know what [I]618-the mother said , or how it went on , but [I]618-the mother think it was a little relief to [her]4725-that young creature to tell [me]618-the mother something about [herself]4725-that young creature . [She]4725-that young creature sobbed and cried [herself]4725-that young creature to sleep ; [I]618-the mother think [she]4725-that young creature is asleep now . "[618-the mother] " Tell [me]618-the mother what [she]4725-that young creature said about [herself]4725-that young creature . "[618-the mother] " Oh , it was really very little ; it was evidently a most painful subject . [She]4725-that young creature is [an orphan]4231-an orphan , without [brother]4681-brother or [sister]4728-sister , and with [a guardian]4729-a guardian , whom , [I]618-the mother think [she]4725-that young creature said , [she]4725-that young creature never saw but once . [He]4729-a guardian apprenticed [her]4725-that young creature ( after [[her]4725-that young creature father]411-her father 's death ) to [a dressmaker]382-a dressmaker . [This Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham got acquainted with [her]4725-that young creature , and [they]4732-they used to meet on Sunday afternoons . One day [they]4732-they were late , lingering on [the road]4274-the road , when [the dressmaker]288-the dressmaker came up by accident . [She]4725-that young creature seems to have been very angry , and not unnaturally so . [The girl]1016-the girl took fright at [her]4725-that young creature threats , and [the lover]4736-the lover persuaded [her]4725-that young creature to go off with [him]4736-the lover to [London]3-london , there and then . Last May , [I]618-the mother think it was . That 's all . "[618-the mother] " Did [she]4725-that young creature express any sorrow for [her]4725-that young creature error ? "[618-the mother] " No , not in words , but [her]4725-that young creature voice was broken with sobs , though [she]4725-that young creature tried to make it steady . After a while [she]4725-that young creature began to talk about [[her]4725-that young creature baby]4737-her baby , but shyly , and with much hesitation . [She]4725-that young creature asked [me]618-the mother how much [I]618-the mother thought [she]4725-that young creature could earn as [a dressmaker]382-a dressmaker , by working very , very hard ; and that brought [us]4739-us round to [[her]4725-that young creature child]631-her child . [I]618-the mother thought of what [you]618-the mother had said , [Thurstan]146-thurstan , and [I]618-the mother tried to speak to [her]4725-that young creature as [you]618-the mother wished [me]618-the mother . [I]618-the mother am not sure if it was right ; [I]618-the mother am doubtful in [my]618-the mother own mind still . "[618-the mother] " Do n't be doubtful , [Faith]147-faith ! [Dear Faith]154-dear faith , [I]618-the mother thank [you]618-the mother for [your]618-the mother kindness . "[618-the mother] " There is really nothing to thank [me]618-the mother for . It is almost impossible to help being kind to [her]4725-that young creature ; there is something so meek and gentle about [her]4725-that young creature , so patient , and so grateful ! "[618-the mother] " What does [she]4725-that young creature think of doing ? "[618-the mother] " [Poor child]4142-poor child ! [she]4725-that young creature thinks of taking [lodgings]4742-lodgings -- very cheap ones , [she]4725-that young creature says ; there [she]4725-that young creature means to work night and day to earn enough for [[her]4725-that young creature child]631-her child . For , [she]4725-that young creature said to [me]618-the mother , with such pretty earnestness , ' [It]4744-it must never know want , whatever [I]618-the mother do . [I]618-the mother have deserved suffering , but it will be such [a little innocent darling]4745-a little innocent darling ! ' [Her]4725-that young creature utmost earnings would not be more than seven or eight shillings a week , [I]618-the mother 'm afraid ; and then [she]4725-that young creature is so young and so pretty ! "[618-the mother] " There is that fifty pounds [Mrs Morgan]122-mrs morgan brought [me]618-the mother , and those two letters . Does [she]4725-that young creature know about them yet ? "[618-the mother] " No ; [I]618-the mother did not like to tell [her]4725-that young creature till [she]4725-that young creature is a little stronger . Oh , [Thurstan]146-thurstan ! [I]618-the mother wish there was not this prospect of [a child]556-a child . [I]618-the mother can not help it . [I]618-the mother do -- [I]618-the mother could see a way in which [we]4747-we might help [her]4725-that young creature , if it were not for that . "[618-the mother] " How do [you]618-the mother mean ? "[618-the mother] " Oh , it 's no use thinking of it , as it is ! Or else [we]4747-we might have taken [her]4725-that young creature [home]4124-home with [us]4747-we , and kept [her]4725-that young creature till [she]4725-that young creature had got a little dress - making in [the congregation]4749-the congregation , but for [this meddlesome child]4750-this meddlesome child ; that spoils everything . [You]146-thurstan must let [me]618-the mother grumble to [you]146-thurstan , [Thurstan]146-thurstan . [I]618-the mother was very good to [her]4725-that young creature , and spoke as tenderly and respectfully of the little thing as if it were [the Queen]4751-the queen 's , and born in lawful matrimony . "[618-the mother] " That 's right , [[my]618-the mother dear]4145-my dear Faith ! Grumble away to [me]618-the mother , if [you]146-thurstan like . [I]618-the mother 'll forgive [you]146-thurstan , for the kind thought of taking [her]4725-that young creature [home]4124-home with [us]4747-we . But do [you]146-thurstan think [her]4725-that young creature situation is an insuperable objection ? "[618-the mother] " Why , [Thurstan!--it]155-thurstan!--it 's so insuperable , it puts it quite out of the question . "[618-the mother] " How?--that 's only repeating [your]146-thurstan objection . Why is it out of the question ? "[618-the mother] " If there had been [no child]4754-no child coming , [we]4747-we might have called [her]4725-that young creature by [her]4725-that young creature right name -- [Miss Hilton]89-miss hilton ; that 's one thing . Then , another is , [the baby]1144-the baby in [[our]4747-we house]4756-our house . Why , [Sally]148-sally would go distraught ! "[618-the mother] " Never mind [Sally]148-sally . If [she]4725-that young creature were [an orphan relation of [our]4747-we own]4757-an orphan relation of our own , left widowed , "[1623-i] said [he]1623-i , pausing , as if in doubt . " [You]146-thurstan [yourself]146-thurstan suggested [she]4725-that young creature should be considered as [a widow]675-a widow , for [the child]565-the child 's sake . [I]1623-i 'm only taking up [your]146-thurstan ideas , [dear Faith]4760-dear faith . [I]1623-i respect [you]146-thurstan for thinking of taking [her]4725-that young creature [home]4124-home ; it is just what [we]4747-we ought to do . Thank [you]146-thurstan for reminding [me]1623-i of [my]1623-i duty . "[1623-i] " Nay , it was only a passing thought . Think of [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . Oh ! [I]618-the mother tremble at the thought of [his]149-mr bradshaw grim displeasure . "[618-the mother] " [We]4747-we must think of a higher than [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . [I]1623-i own [I]1623-i should be [a very coward]4762-a very coward , if [he]149-mr bradshaw knew . [He]149-mr bradshaw is so severe , so inflexible . But after all [he]149-mr bradshaw sees so little of [us]4747-we ; [he]149-mr bradshaw never comes to tea , [you]146-thurstan know , but is always engaged when [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw comes . [I]1623-i do n't think [he]149-mr bradshaw knows of what [[our]4747-we household]4763-our household consists . "[1623-i] " Not know [Sally]148-sally ? Oh yes , but [he]149-mr bradshaw does . [He]149-mr bradshaw asked [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw one day , if [she]151-mrs bradshaw knew what wages [we]4747-we gave [her]151-mrs bradshaw , and said [we]4747-we might get [a far more efficient and younger servant]4764-a far more efficient and younger servant for the money . And , speaking about money , think what [our]4747-we expenses would be if [we]4747-we took [her]151-mrs bradshaw [home]4124-home for the next six months . "[618-the mother] That consideration was a puzzling one ; and [both]1624-both sat silent and perplexed for a time . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was as sorrowful as [[her]1625-i brother]982-her brother , for [she]1625-i was becoming as anxious as [he]982-her brother was to find it possible that [her]1625-i plan could be carried out . " There 's the fifty pounds , "[982-her brother] said [he]982-her brother , with a sigh of reluctance at the idea . " Yes , there 's the fifty pounds , "[4508-his sister] echoed [[his]982-her brother sister]4508-his sister , with the same sadness in [her]4508-his sister tone . " [I]4508-his sister suppose it is [hers]4508-his sister . "[4508-his sister] " [I]4508-his sister suppose it is ; and being so , [we]4747-we must not think who gave it to [her]151-mrs bradshaw . It will defray [her]151-mrs bradshaw expenses . [I]4508-his sister am very sorry , but [I]4508-his sister think [we]4747-we must take it . "[4508-his sister] " It would never do to apply to [him]982-her brother under the present circumstances , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , in a hesitating manner . " No , that [we]4747-we wo n't , "[982-her brother] said [[her]1625-i brother]982-her brother , decisively . " If [she]151-mrs bradshaw consents to let [us]4747-we take care of [her]151-mrs bradshaw , [we]4747-we will never let [her]151-mrs bradshaw stoop to request anything from [him]982-her brother , even for [[his]982-her brother child]4766-his child . [She]151-mrs bradshaw can live on bread and water . [We]4747-we can all live on bread and water rather than that . "[982-her brother] " Then [I]1625-i will speak to [her]151-mrs bradshaw and propose the plan . Oh , [Thurstan]146-thurstan ! from [a child]556-a child [you]146-thurstan could persuade [me]1625-i to anything ! [I]1625-i hope [I]1625-i am doing right . However much [I]1625-i oppose [you]146-thurstan at first , [I]1625-i am sure to yield soon ; almost in proportion to [my]1625-i violence at first . [I]1625-i think [I]1625-i am very weak . "[1625-i] " No , not in this instance . [We]4747-we are both right : [I]982-her brother , in the way in which [the child]565-the child ought to be viewed ; [you]146-thurstan , [dear good Faith]4769-dear good faith , for thinking of taking [her]565-the child [home]4124-home with [us]4747-we . God bless [you]146-thurstan , [dear]4155-dear , for it ! "[982-her brother] When [Ruth]81-ruth began to sit up ( and the strange , new , delicious prospect of becoming [a mother]1536-a mother seemed to give [her]81-ruth some mysterious source of strength , so that [her]81-ruth recovery was rapid and swift from that time ) , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson brought [her]81-ruth the letters and the bank - note . " Do [you]81-ruth recollect receiving this letter , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] asked [she]81-ruth , with grave gentleness . [Ruth]81-ruth changed colour , and took it and read it again without making any reply to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . Then [she]81-ruth sighed , and thought a while ; and then took up and read the second note -- the note which [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham had sent to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson in answer to [his]143-mr benson . After that [she]81-ruth took up the bank - note and turned it round and round , but not as if [she]81-ruth saw it . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson noticed that [her]81-ruth fingers trembled sadly , and that [her]81-ruth lips were quivering for some time before [she]81-ruth spoke . " If [you]81-ruth please , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , [I]81-ruth should like to return this money . "[81-ruth] " Why , [[my]81-ruth dear]4145-my dear ? "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth have a strong feeling against taking it . While [he]143-mr benson , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , deeply blushing , and letting [her]81-ruth large white lids drop down and veil [her]81-ruth eyes , " loved [me]81-ruth , [he]143-mr benson gave [me]81-ruth many things -- [my]81-ruth watch -- oh , many things ; and [I]81-ruth took them from [him]143-mr benson gladly and thankfully because [he]143-mr benson loved [me]81-ruth -- for [I]81-ruth would have given [him]143-mr benson anything -- and [I]81-ruth thought of them as signs of love . But this money pains [my]81-ruth heart . [He]143-mr benson has left off loving [me]81-ruth , and has gone away . This money seems -- oh , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson -- it seems as if [he]143-mr benson could comfort [me]81-ruth , for being forsaken , by money . "[81-ruth] And at that word the tears , so long kept back and repressed , forced their way like rain . [She]81-ruth checked [herself]81-ruth , however , in the violence of [her]81-ruth emotion , for [she]81-ruth thought of [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child . " So , will [you]143-mr benson take the trouble of sending it back to [Mrs Bellingham]96-mrs bellingham ? "[81-ruth] " That [I]143-mr benson will , [[my]143-mr benson dear]4145-my dear . [I]143-mr benson am glad of it , that [I]143-mr benson am ! [They]4774-they do n't deserve to have the power of giving : [they]4774-they do n't deserve that [you]143-mr benson should take it . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson went and enclosed it up , there and then ; simply writing these words in the envelope , " From [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth . "[143-mr benson] " And now [we]4775-we wash [our]4775-we hands of [these Bellinghams]4776-these bellinghams , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , triumphantly . But [Ruth]81-ruth looked tearful and sad ; not about returning the note , but from the conviction that the reason [she]81-ruth had given for the ground of [her]81-ruth determination was true -- [he]1631-he no longer loved [her]81-ruth . To cheer [her]81-ruth , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson began to speak of the future . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was [one of those people who , the more [she]81-ruth spoke of a plan in its details , and the more [she]81-ruth realised it in [her]81-ruth own mind]1632-one of those people who , the more she spoke of a plan in its details , and the more she realised it in her own mind , the more firmly [she]81-ruth became [a partisan of the project]1633-a partisan of the project . Thus [she]81-ruth grew warm and happy in the idea of taking [Ruth]81-ruth [home]4124-home ; but [Ruth]81-ruth remained depressed and languid under the conviction that [he]1631-he no longer loved [her]81-ruth . [No home]689-no home , no future , but the thought of [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child , could [wean]1637-wean [her]81-ruth from this sorrow . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was a little piqued ; and this pique showed itself afterwards in talking to [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother of the morning 's proceedings in [the sick - chamber]1639-the sick - chamber . " [I]982-her brother admired [her]81-ruth at the time for sending away [her]81-ruth fifty pounds so proudly ; but [I]982-her brother think [she]81-ruth has a cold heart : [she]81-ruth hardly thanked [me]982-her brother at all for [my]982-her brother proposal of taking [her]81-ruth [home]4124-home with [us]4778-us . "[982-her brother] " [Her]81-ruth thoughts are full of other things just now ; and [people]322-people have such different ways of showing feeling : some by silence , some by words . At any rate , it is unwise to expect gratitude . "[1637-wean] " What do [you]143-mr benson expect -- not indifference or ingratitude ? "[982-her brother] " It is better not to expect or calculate consequences . The longer [I]982-her brother live , the more fully [I]982-her brother see that . Let [us]4778-us try simply to do right actions , without thinking of the feelings [they]322-people are to call out in [others]368-others . [We]4778-us know that no holy or self - denying effort can fall to the ground vain and useless ; but the sweep of eternity is large , and [God]104-leonard alone knows when the effect is to be produced . [We]4778-us are trying to do right now , and to feel right ; do n't let [us]4778-us perplex [ourselves]4778-us with endeavouring to map out how [she]81-ruth should feel , or how [she]81-ruth should show [her]81-ruth feelings . "[982-her brother] " That 's all very fine , and [I]143-mr benson dare say very true , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , a little chagrined . " But ' a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush ; ' and [I]143-mr benson would rather have had one good , hearty ' Thank [you]143-mr benson , ' now , for all [I]143-mr benson have been planning to do for [her]81-ruth , than the grand effects [you]143-mr benson promise [me]143-mr benson in the ' sweep of eternity . ' Do n't be grave and sorrowful , [Thurstan]146-thurstan , or [I]143-mr benson 'll go out of [the room]357-the room . [I]143-mr benson can stand [Sally]148-sally 's scoldings , but [I]143-mr benson ca n't bear [your]143-mr benson look of quiet depression whenever [I]143-mr benson am a little hasty or impatient . [I]143-mr benson had rather [you]143-mr benson would give [me]143-mr benson a good box on the ear . "[143-mr benson] " And [I]982-her brother would often rather [you]143-mr benson would speak , if ever so hastily , instead of whistling . So , if [I]982-her brother box [your]143-mr benson ears when [I]982-her brother am vexed with [you]143-mr benson , will [you]143-mr benson promise to scold [me]982-her brother when [you]143-mr benson are put out of the way , instead of whistling ? "[982-her brother] " Very well ! that 's a bargain . [You]143-mr benson box , and [I]143-mr benson scold . But , seriously , [I]143-mr benson began to calculate [our]4782-we money when [she]148-sally so cavalierly sent off the fifty - pound note ( [I]143-mr benson ca n't help admiring [her]148-sally for it ) , and [I]143-mr benson am very much afraid [we]4782-we shall not have enough to pay [the doctor]4191-the doctor 's bill , and take [her]148-sally [home]4124-home with [us]4782-we . "[143-mr benson] " [She]148-sally must go inside [the coach]1509-the coach whatever [we]4782-we do , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , decidedly . " Who 's [there]332-there ? Come in ! Oh ! [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes ! Sit down . "[143-mr benson] " Indeed , [sir]4181-sir , and [I]143-mr benson can not stay ; but [the young lady]476-the young lady has just made [me]143-mr benson find up [her]476-the young lady watch for [her]476-the young lady , and asked [me]143-mr benson to get it sold to pay [the doctor]4191-the doctor , and the little things [she]476-the young lady has had since [she]476-the young lady came ; and please , [sir]4181-sir , indeed , [I]143-mr benson do n't know where to sell it nearer than [Carnarvon]30-carnarvon . "[143-mr benson] " That is good of [her]476-the young lady , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , [her]1640-her sense of justice satisfied ; and , remembering the way in which [Ruth]81-ruth had spoken of the watch , [she]1640-her felt what a sacrifice it must have been to resolve to part with it . " And [her]476-the young lady goodness just helps [us]1642-us out of [our]1642-us dilemma , "[982-her brother] said [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother , who was unaware of the feelings with which [Ruth]81-ruth regarded [her]81-ruth watch , or , perhaps , [he]982-her brother might have parted with [his]982-her brother Facciolati . [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes patiently awaited [their]1642-us leisure for answering [her]142-mrs hughes practical question . Where could the watch be sold ? Suddenly [her]142-mrs hughes face brightened . " [Mr Jones]131-mr jones , [the doctor]4191-the doctor , is going to be married , perhaps [he]131-mr jones would like nothing better than to give this pretty watch to [[his]131-mr jones bride]4792-his bride ; indeed , and [I]142-mrs hughes think it 's very likely ; and [he]131-mr jones 'll pay money for it as well as letting alone [his]131-mr jones bill . [I]142-mrs hughes 'll ask [him]131-mr jones , [sir]4181-sir , at any rate . "[142-mrs hughes] [Mr Jones]131-mr jones was only too glad to obtain possession of so elegant a present at so cheap a rate . [He]131-mr jones even , as [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes had foretold , " paid money for it ; "[131-mr jones] more than was required to defray the expenses of [Ruth]81-ruth 's accommodation ; as the most of the articles of food [she]81-ruth had were paid for at the time by [Mr or Miss Benson]143-mr benson , but [they]1642-us strictly forbade [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes to tell [Ruth]81-ruth of this . " Would [you]81-ruth object to [my]143-mr benson buying [you]81-ruth a black gown ? "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson to [her]81-ruth the day after the sale of the watch . [She]142-mrs hughes hesitated a little , and then went on : " [[My]142-mrs hughes brother]4794-my brother and [I]142-mrs hughes think it would be better to call [you]81-ruth -- as if in fact [you]81-ruth were -- [a widow]675-a widow . It will save much awkwardness , and it will spare [[your]143-mr benson child]4796-your child much-- "[142-mrs hughes] Mortification [she]142-mrs hughes was going to have added , but that word did not exactly do . But , at the mention of [[her]142-mrs hughes child]631-her child , [Ruth]81-ruth started and turned ruby - red ; as [she]81-ruth always did when allusion was made to it . " Oh , yes ! certainly . Thank [you]81-ruth much for thinking of it . Indeed , "[142-mrs hughes] said [she]142-mrs hughes , very low , as if to [herself]142-mrs hughes , " [I]142-mrs hughes do n't know how to thank [you]81-ruth for all [you]81-ruth are doing ; but [I]142-mrs hughes do love [you]81-ruth , and will pray for [you]81-ruth , if [I]142-mrs hughes may . "[142-mrs hughes] " If [you]81-ruth may , [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[143-mr benson] repeated [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , in a tone of surprise . " Yes , if [I]142-mrs hughes may . If [you]81-ruth will let [me]142-mrs hughes pray for [you]81-ruth . "[142-mrs hughes] " Certainly , [[my]143-mr benson dear]4145-my dear . [[My]143-mr benson dear]4145-my dear [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth do n't know how often [I]143-mr benson sin ; [I]143-mr benson do so wrong , with [my]143-mr benson few temptations . [We]4799-us are [both of [us]4799-us great sinners in the eyes of [the Most Holy]4801-the most holy]4800-both of us great sinners in the eyes of the most holy ; let [us]4799-us pray for [each other]579-each other . Do n't speak so again , [[my]143-mr benson dear]4145-my dear ; at least , not to [me]143-mr benson ! "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was actually crying . [She]1644-she had always looked upon [herself]1644-she as so inferior to [[her]1644-she brother]982-her brother in real goodness ; had seen such heights above [her]1644-she , that [she]1644-she was distressed by [Ruth]81-ruth 's humility . After a short time [she]1644-she resumed the subject . " Then [I]1644-she may get [you]81-ruth a black gown?--and [we]4804-we may call [you]81-ruth [Mrs Hilton]108-mrs hilton ? "[1644-she] " No ; not [Mrs Hilton]108-mrs hilton ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , hastily . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , who had hitherto kept [her]1644-she eyes averted from [Ruth]81-ruth 's face from a motive of kindly delicacy , now looked at [her]81-ruth with surprise . " Why not ? "[1644-she] asked [she]1644-she . " It was [[my]81-ruth mother]4247-my mother 's name , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , in a low voice . " [I]81-ruth had better not be called by it . "[81-ruth] " Then , let [us]4804-we call [you]81-ruth by [[my]143-mr benson mother]4247-my mother 's name , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , tenderly . " [She]4247-my mother would have-- But [I]143-mr benson 'll talk to [you]81-ruth about [[my]143-mr benson mother]4247-my mother some other time . Let [me]143-mr benson call [you]81-ruth [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . It will do very well , too . [People]322-people will think [you]81-ruth are [a distant relation]4809-a distant relation . "[143-mr benson] When [she]81-ruth told [Mr Benson]143-mr benson this choice of name , [he]143-mr benson was rather sorry ; it was like [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's impulsive kindness -- impulsive in everything -- and [he]143-mr benson could imagine how [Ruth]81-ruth 's humility had touched [her]81-ruth . [He]143-mr benson was sorry , but [he]143-mr benson said nothing . And now the letter was written [home]4124-home , announcing the probable arrival of [the brother and sister]1648-the brother and sister on a certain day , " with [a distant relation]4809-a distant relation , early left [a widow]675-a widow , "[143-mr benson] as [Miss Benson]143-mr benson expressed it . [She]81-ruth desired [the spare room]1649-the spare room might be prepared , and made every provision [she]81-ruth could think of for [Ruth]81-ruth 's comfort ; for [Ruth]81-ruth still remained feeble and weak . When the black gown , at which [she]81-ruth had stitched away incessantly , was finished -- when nothing remained but to rest for the next day 's journey -- [Ruth]81-ruth could not sit still . [She]81-ruth wandered from window to window , learning off each rock and tree by heart . Each had its tale , which it was agony to remember ; but which it would have been worse agony to forget . The sound of running waters [she]81-ruth heard that quiet evening , was in [her]81-ruth ears as [she]81-ruth lay on [her]81-ruth death - bed ; so well had [she]81-ruth learnt [their]1650-their tune . And now all was over . [She]81-ruth had driven in to [Llan - dhu]31-llan - dhu , sitting by [[her]81-ruth lover]1247-her lover 's side , living in the bright present , and strangely forgetful of the past or the future ; [she]81-ruth had dreamed out [her]81-ruth dream , and [she]81-ruth had awakened from the vision of love . [She]81-ruth walked slowly and sadly down [the long hill]1652-the long hill , [her]81-ruth tears fast falling , but as quickly wiped away ; while [she]81-ruth strove to make steady the low quivering voice which was often called upon to answer some remark of [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's . [They]1653-they had to wait for [the coach]1509-the coach . [Ruth]81-ruth buried [her]81-ruth face in some flowers which [Mrs Hughes]142-mrs hughes had given [her]81-ruth on parting ; and was startled when the mail drew up with a sudden pull , which almost threw the horses on [their]1650-their haunches . [She]81-ruth was placed inside , and [the coach]1509-the coach had set off again , before [she]81-ruth was fully aware that [Mr]1656-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson were travelling on the outside ; but it was a relief to feel [she]81-ruth might now cry without exciting [their]1653-they notice . The shadow of a heavy thunder - cloud was on [the valley]1657-the valley , but [the little upland village church]1658-the little upland village church ( that showed the spot in which so much of [her]81-ruth life had passed ) stood out clear in the sunshine . [She]81-ruth grudged the tears that blinded [her]81-ruth as [she]81-ruth gazed . There was [one passenger]1659-one passenger , who tried after a while to comfort [her]81-ruth . " Do n't cry , [miss]4384-miss , "[1660-the kind - hearted woman] said [the kind - hearted woman]1660-the kind - hearted woman . " [You]4384-miss 're parting from [friends]678-friends , maybe ? Well , that 's bad enough , but when [you]4384-miss come to [my]1660-the kind - hearted woman age , [you]4384-miss 'll think none of it . Why , [I]1660-the kind - hearted woman 've [three sons]4814-three sons , and [they]4814-three sons 're [soldiers]4815-soldiers and [sailors]4816-sailors , all of [them]4814-three sons -- here , there , and everywhere . One is in [America]32-america , [beyond seas]4817-beyond seas ; another is in [China]33-china , making tea ; and another is at [Gibraltar]34-gibraltar , [three miles from [Spain]35-spain]4818-three miles from spain ; and yet , [you]4384-miss see , [I]1660-the kind - hearted woman can laugh and eat and enjoy [myself]1660-the kind - hearted woman . [I]1660-the kind - hearted woman sometimes think [I]1660-the kind - hearted woman 'll try and fret a bit , just to make [myself]1660-the kind - hearted woman [a better figure]4819-a better figure ; but , [Lord]4820-lord ! it 's no use , it 's against [my]1660-the kind - hearted woman nature ; so [I]1660-the kind - hearted woman laugh and grow fat again . [I]1660-the kind - hearted woman 'd be quite thankful for a fit of anxiety as would make [me]1660-the kind - hearted woman feel easy in [my]1660-the kind - hearted woman clothes , which [them manty - makers]4821-them manty - makers will make so tight [I]1660-the kind - hearted woman 'm fairly throttled . "[1660-the kind - hearted woman] [Ruth durst]81-ruth cry no more ; it was no relief , now [she]81-ruth was watched and noticed , and plied with a sandwich or a gingerbread each time [she]81-ruth looked sad . [She]81-ruth lay back with [her]81-ruth eyes shut , as if asleep , and went on , and on , the sun never seeming to move from [his]1661-his high place in the sky , nor the bright hot day to show the least sign of waning . Every now and then , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson scrambled down , and made kind inquiries of [the pale , weary Ruth]1662-the pale , weary ruth ; and once [they]1663-we changed [coaches]1664-coaches , and [the fat old lady]1665-the fat old lady left [her]81-ruth with a hearty shake of the hand . " It is not much further now , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , apologetically , to [Ruth]81-ruth . " See ! [we]1663-we are losing sight of [the Welsh mountains]1620-the welsh mountains . [We]1663-we have about [eighteen miles of plain]4823-eighteen miles of plain , and then [we]1663-we come to [the moors]4824-the moors and the rising ground , amidst which [Eccleston]36-eccleston lies . [I]143-mr benson wish [we]1663-we were there , for [[my]143-mr benson brother]4794-my brother is sadly tired . "[143-mr benson] The first wonder in [Ruth]81-ruth 's mind was , why then , if [Mr Benson]143-mr benson were so tired , did [they]1663-we not stop where [they]1663-we were for the night ; for [she]81-ruth knew little of the expenses of a night at [an inn]949-an inn . The next thought was , to beg that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson would take [her]81-ruth place inside [the coach]1509-the coach , and allow [her]81-ruth to mount up by [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . [She]81-ruth proposed this , and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was evidently pleased . " Well , if [you]81-ruth 're not tired , it would make a rest and a change for [him]4794-my brother , to be sure ; and if [you]81-ruth were by [me]143-mr benson [I]143-mr benson could show [you]81-ruth the first sight of [Eccleston]36-eccleston , if [we]4826-we reach [there]332-there before it is quite dark . "[143-mr benson] So [Mr Benson]143-mr benson got down , and changed places with [Ruth]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth hardly yet understood the numerous small economies which [he]143-mr benson and [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister had to practise -- the little daily self - denials,--all endured so cheerfully , and simply , that [they]1669-their had almost ceased to require an effort , and it had become natural to [them]1669-their to think of [others]368-others before [themselves]1669-their . [Ruth]81-ruth had not understood that it was for [economy]1671-economy that [[their]1669-their places]1672-their places had been taken on the outside of [the coach]1509-the coach , while [hers]81-ruth , as [an invalid requiring rest]1674-an invalid requiring rest , was to be the inside ; and that the biscuits which supplied the place of a dinner were , in fact , chosen because the difference in price between [the two]1675-the two would go a little way towards fulfilling [their]1669-their plan for receiving [her]81-ruth as [an inmate]716-an inmate . [Her]81-ruth thought about money had been hitherto [a child]556-a child 's thought ; the subject had never touched [her]81-ruth ; but afterwards , when [she]81-ruth had lived a little with [the Bensons]157-the bensons , [her]81-ruth eyes were opened , and [she]81-ruth remembered [their]1669-their simple kindness on the journey , and treasured the remembrance of it in [her]81-ruth heart . A low grey cloud was the first sign of [Eccleston]36-eccleston ; it was the smoke of [the town]396-the town hanging over [the plain]965-the plain . Beyond [the place where [she]81-ruth was expected to believe [it]1681-it existed]1680-the place where she was expected to believe it existed , arose [round , waving uplands]1682-round , waving uplands ; nothing to [the fine outlines of [the Welsh mountains]1620-the welsh mountains]1683-the fine outlines of the welsh mountains , but still going [up nearer to heaven]1685-up nearer to heaven than the rest of [the flat world into which [she]81-ruth had now entered]1686-the flat world into which she had now entered . Rumbling stones , lamp - posts , a sudden stop , and [they]1669-their were in [the town of Eccleston]1687-the town of eccleston ; and a strange , uncouth voice , on the dark side of [the coach]1509-the coach , was heard to say , " Be [ye]1669-their there , [measter]1669-their ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes , yes ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , quickly . " Did [Sally]148-sally send [you]1669-their , [Ben]158-ben ? Get the ostler 's lantern , and look out the luggage . "[143-mr benson] CHAPTER XIII [The Dissenting Minister]1689-the dissenting minister 's Household [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had resumed every morsel of the briskness which [she]81-ruth had rather lost in the middle of the day ; [her]81-ruth foot was on [her]81-ruth native stones , and a very rough set they were , and [she]81-ruth was near [[her]81-ruth home]840-her home and among [known people]1691-known people . Even [Mr Benson]143-mr benson spoke very cheerfully to [Ben]158-ben , and made many inquiries of [him]158-ben respecting people whose names were strange to [Ruth]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth was cold , and utterly weary . [She]81-ruth took [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's offered arm , and could hardly drag [herself]81-ruth as far as [the little quiet street in which [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's house]1693-mr benson 's house was situated]1692-the little quiet street in which mr benson 's house was situated . [The street]347-the street was so quiet that [their]1695-ye footsteps sounded like a loud disturbance , and announced [their]1695-ye approach as effectually as the " trumpet 's lordly blare "[1695-ye] did the coming of [Abdallah]159-abdallah . A door flew open , and [a lighted passage]1696-a lighted passage stood before [them]1695-ye . As soon as [they]1695-ye had entered , [a stout , elderly servant]1697-a stout , elderly servant emerged from behind the door , [her]1697-a stout , elderly servant face radiant with welcome . " Eh , bless [ye]1695-ye ! are [ye]1695-ye back again ? [I]81-ruth thought [I]81-ruth should ha ' been lost without [ye]1695-ye . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth gave [Mr Benson]143-mr benson a hearty shake of the hand , and kissed [Miss Benson]143-mr benson warmly ; then , turning to [Ruth]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth said , in a loud whisper , " Who 's yon ? "[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was silent , and walked a step onwards . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson said boldly out , " [The lady [I]143-mr benson named in [my]143-mr benson note]4828-the lady i named in my note , [Sally]148-sally -- [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , [a distant relation]4809-a distant relation . "[143-mr benson] " Aye , but [you]143-mr benson said hoo was [a widow]675-a widow . Is this chit [a widow]675-a widow ? "[81-ruth] " Yes , this is [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , "[143-mr benson] answered [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " If [I]143-mr benson 'd been [[her]4828-the lady i named in my note mother]710-her mother , [I]143-mr benson 'd ha ' given [her]4828-the lady i named in my note a lollypop instead of [a husband]4833-a husband . [Hoo]160-hoo looks fitter for it . "[143-mr benson] " Hush ! [Sally]148-sally , [Sally]148-sally ! Look , there 's [[your]148-sally master]4834-your master trying to move that heavy box . "[1698-she] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson calculated well when [she]1698-she called [Sally]148-sally 's attention to [[her]1698-she master]1699-her master ; for it was well believed by [every one]1129-every one , and by [Sally]148-sally [herself]148-sally , that [his]1699-her master deformity was owing to a fall [he]1699-her master had had when [he]1699-her master was scarcely more than [a baby]4677-a baby , and entrusted to [her]148-sally care -- [a little nurse - girl]1702-a little nurse - girl , as [she]1702-a little nurse - girl then was , not many years older than [himself]1699-her master . For years [the poor girl]1183-the poor girl had cried [herself]1183-the poor girl to sleep on [her]1183-the poor girl pallet - bed , moaning over the blight [her]1183-the poor girl carelessness had brought upon [[her]1183-the poor girl darling]1704-her darling ; nor was this self - reproach diminished by the forgiveness of [the gentle mother]1705-the gentle mother , from whom [Thurstan Benson]146-thurstan derived so much of [his]146-thurstan character . The way in which comfort stole into [Sally]148-sally 's heart was in the gradually - formed resolution that [she]148-sally would never leave [him]1699-her master nor forsake [him]1699-her master , but serve [him]1699-her master faithfully all [her]148-sally life long ; and [she]148-sally had kept to [her]148-sally word . [She]148-sally loved [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , but [she]148-sally almost worshipped [the brother]1706-the brother . The reverence for [him]1699-her master was in [her]148-sally heart , however , and did not always show itself in [her]148-sally manners . But if [she]148-sally scolded [him]1699-her master [herself]148-sally , [she]148-sally allowed [no one else]1707-no one else that privilege . If [Miss Benson]143-mr benson differed from [[her]148-sally brother]982-her brother , and ventured to think [his]1699-her master sayings or doings might have been improved , [Sally]148-sally came down upon [her]148-sally like a thunder - clap . " [My]148-sally goodness gracious , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , when will [you]1699-her master learn to leave off meddling with [other folks]4835-other folks ' business ! Here , [Ben]158-ben ! help [me]148-sally up with these trunks . "[148-sally] [The little narrow passage]1709-the little narrow passage was cleared , and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson took [Ruth]81-ruth into [the sitting - room]1155-the sitting - room . There were only [two sitting - rooms on [the ground - floor]1712-the ground - floor]1711-two sitting - rooms on the ground - floor , one behind the other . Out of [the back room]1713-the back room [the kitchen]862-the kitchen opened , and for this reason [the back parlour]4417-the back parlour was used as [the family sitting - room]1716-the family sitting - room ; or else , being , with [its]4417-the back parlour garden aspect , so much the pleasanter of the two , both [Sally]148-sally and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson would have appropriated [it]4417-the back parlour for [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's study]1717-mr benson 's study . As it was , [the front room]1718-the front room , which looked to [the street]347-the street , was [[his]143-mr benson room]4528-his room ; and many [a person coming for help]1721-a person coming for help -- help of which giving money was the lowest kind -- was admitted , and let forth by [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , unknown to [any one else in [the house]426-the house]1722-any one else in the house . To make amends for [his]143-mr benson having [the least cheerful room on the ground - floor]1724-the least cheerful room on the ground - floor , [he]143-mr benson had [the garden bedroom]1725-the garden bedroom , while [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister slept over [[his]143-mr benson study]1727-his study . There were [two more rooms]1728-two more rooms again over these , with sloping ceilings , though otherwise large and airy . The attic looking into [the garden]783-the garden was [the spare bedroom]1730-the spare bedroom ; while the front belonged to [Sally]148-sally . There was [no room over [the kitchen]862-the kitchen]1731-no room over the kitchen , which was , in fact , [a supplement to [the house]426-the house]1733-a supplement to the house . [The sitting - room]1155-the sitting - room was called by the pretty , old - fashioned name of [the parlour]712-the parlour , while [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's room]1737-mr benson 's room was styled [the study]1738-the study . The curtains were drawn in [the parlour]712-the parlour ; there was a bright fire and a clean hearth ; indeed , exquisite cleanliness seemed the very spirit of [the household]1179-the household , for the door which was open to [the kitchen]862-the kitchen showed a delicately - white and spotless floor , and bright glittering tins , on which the ruddy firelight danced . From the place in which [Ruth]81-ruth sat [she]81-ruth could see all [Sally]148-sally 's movements ; and though [she]81-ruth was not conscious of close or minute observation at the time ( [her]81-ruth body being weary , and [her]81-ruth mind full of other thoughts ) , yet it was curious how faithfully that scene remained depicted on [her]81-ruth memory in after years . The warm light filled every corner of [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , in strong distinction to the faint illumination of the one candle in [the parlour]712-the parlour , whose radiance was confined , and was lost in the dead folds of window - curtains , carpet , and furniture . The square , stout , bustling figure , neat and clean in every respect , but dressed in the peculiar , old - fashioned costume of [the county]295-the county , namely , a dark - striped linsey - woolsey petticoat , made very short , displaying sturdy legs in woollen stockings beneath ; a loose kind of jacket called there a " bedgown , "[148-sally] made of pink print ; a snow - white apron and cap , both of linen , and the latter made in the shape of a " mutch;"--these[81-ruth] articles completed [Sally]148-sally 's costume , and were painted on [Ruth]81-ruth 's memory . Whilst [Sally]148-sally was busied in preparing tea , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson took off [Ruth]81-ruth 's things ; and [the latter]1745-the latter instinctively felt that [Sally]148-sally , in the midst of [her]81-ruth movements , was watching [their]1746-their proceedings . Occasionally [she]81-ruth also put in a word in the conversation , and these little sentences were uttered quite in the tone of an equal , if not of a superior . [She]81-ruth had dropped the more formal " [you]4836-you , "[81-ruth] with which at first [she]81-ruth had addressed [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , and thou'd [her]81-ruth quietly and habitually . All these particulars sank unconsciously into [Ruth]81-ruth 's mind ; but they did not rise to the surface , and become perceptible , for a length of time . [She]81-ruth was weary , and much depressed . Even the very kindness that ministered to [her]81-ruth was overpowering . But over the dark , misty moor a little light shone,--a beacon ; and on that [she]81-ruth fixed [her]81-ruth eyes , and struggled out of [her]81-ruth present deep dejection -- [the little child that was coming to [her]81-ruth]1747-the little child that was coming to her ! [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was as languid and weary as [Ruth]81-ruth , and was silent during all this bustle and preparation . [His]143-mr benson silence was more grateful to [Ruth]81-ruth than [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's many words , although [she]81-ruth felt [their]1748-their kindness . After tea , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson took [her]81-ruth [upstairs]1186-upstairs to [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room . The white dimity bed , and the walls , stained green , had something of the colouring and purity of effect of a snowdrop ; while the floor , rubbed with a mixture that turned it into a rich dark brown , suggested the idea of the garden - mould out of which the snowdrop grows . As [Miss Benson]143-mr benson helped [the pale Ruth]1751-the pale ruth to undress , [her]81-ruth voice became less full - toned and hurried ; the hush of approaching night subdued [her]81-ruth into a softened , solemn kind of tenderness , and the murmured blessing sounded like granted prayer . When [Miss Benson]143-mr benson came [downstairs]4556-downstairs , [she]81-ruth found [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother reading some letters which had been received during [his]982-her brother absence . [She]81-ruth went and softly shut the door of communication between [the parlour]712-the parlour and [the kitchen]862-the kitchen ; and then , fetching a grey worsted stocking which [she]81-ruth was knitting , sat down near [him]982-her brother , [her]81-ruth eyes not looking at [her]81-ruth work but fixed on the fire ; while the eternal rapid click of the knitting - needles broke the silence of [the room]357-the room , with a sound as monotonous and incessant as the noise of a hand - loom . [She]81-ruth expected [him]982-her brother to speak , but [he]982-her brother did not . [She]81-ruth enjoyed an examination into , and discussion of , [her]81-ruth feelings ; it was an interest and amusement to [her]81-ruth , while [he]982-her brother dreaded and avoided all such conversation . There were times when [his]982-her brother feelings , which were always earnest , and sometimes morbid , burst forth , and defied control , and overwhelmed [him]982-her brother ; when a force was upon [him]982-her brother compelling [him]982-her brother to speak . But [he]982-her brother , in general , strove to preserve [his]982-her brother composure , from a fear of the compelling pain of such times , and the consequent exhaustion . [His]982-her brother heart had been very full of [Ruth]81-ruth all day long , and [he]982-her brother was afraid of [[his]982-her brother sister]4508-his sister beginning the subject ; so [he]982-her brother read on , or seemed to do so , though [he]982-her brother hardly saw the letter [he]982-her brother held before [him]982-her brother . It was a great relief to [him]982-her brother when [Sally]148-sally threw open the middle door with a bang , which did not indicate either calmness of mind or sweetness of temper . " Is [yon young woman]4837-yon young woman going to stay any length o ' time with [us]4838-us ? "[148-sally] asked [she]148-sally of [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson put [his]143-mr benson hand gently on [[his]982-her brother sister]4508-his sister 's arm , to check [her]148-sally from making any reply , while [he]143-mr benson said , " [We]4838-us can not exactly tell , [Sally]148-sally . [She]4508-his sister will remain until after [her]4508-his sister confinement . "[143-mr benson] " [Lord]4839-lord bless [us]4838-us and save [[us!--a]4837-yon young woman baby in [the house]426-the house]4840-us!--a baby in the house ! Nay , then [my]148-sally time 's come , and [I]148-sally 'll pack up and begone . [I]148-sally never could abide them things . [I]148-sally 'd sooner have rats in [the house]426-the house . "[148-sally] [Sally]148-sally really did look alarmed . " Why , [Sally]148-sally ! "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , smiling , " [I]143-mr benson was not much more than [a baby]4677-a baby when [you]148-sally came to take care of [me]143-mr benson . "[143-mr benson] " Yes , [you]148-sally were , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan ; [you]148-sally were [a fine bouncing lad of three year old]4844-a fine bouncing lad of three year old and better . "[148-sally] Then [she]148-sally remembered the change [she]148-sally had wrought in [the " fine bouncing lad]4845-the " fine bouncing lad , "[143-mr benson] and [her]148-sally eyes filled with tears , which [she]148-sally was too proud to wipe away with [her]148-sally apron ; for , as [she]148-sally sometimes said to [herself]148-sally , " [she]148-sally could not abide crying before [folk]4846-folk . "[148-sally] " Well , it 's no use talking , [Sally]148-sally , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , too anxious to speak to be any longer repressed . " [We]4847-we 've promised to keep [her]148-sally , and [we]4847-we must do it ; [you]148-sally 'll have none of the trouble , [Sally]148-sally , so do n't be afraid . "[143-mr benson] " Well , [I]148-sally never ! as if [I]148-sally minded trouble ! [You]148-sally might ha ' known [me]148-sally better nor that . [I]148-sally 've scoured [[master]4301-master 's room]4849-master 's room twice over , just to make the boards look white , though the carpet is to cover them , and now [you]148-sally go and cast up about [me]148-sally minding [my]148-sally trouble . If [them]4850-them 's the fashions [you]148-sally 've learnt in [Wales]22-wales , [I]148-sally 'm thankful [I]148-sally 've never been [there]332-there . "[148-sally] [Sally]148-sally looked red , indignant , and really hurt . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson came in with [his]143-mr benson musical voice and soft words of healing . " [Faith]147-faith knows [you]148-sally do n't care for trouble , [Sally]148-sally ; [she]147-faith is only anxious about [this poor young woman]4852-this poor young woman , who has [no friends]690-no friends but [ourselves]4854-we . [We]4854-we know there will be more trouble in consequence of [her]4852-this poor young woman coming to stay with [us]4854-we ; and [I]143-mr benson think , though [we]4854-we never spoke about it , that in making [our]4854-we plans [we]4854-we reckoned on [your]148-sally kind help , [Sally]148-sally , which has never failed [us]4854-we yet when [we]4854-we needed it . "[143-mr benson] " [You]148-sally 've twice the sense of [[your]148-sally sister]4855-your sister , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , that [you]148-sally have . [Boys]4856-boys always has . It 's truth there will be more trouble , and [I]148-sally shall have [my]148-sally share on't , [I]148-sally reckon . [I]148-sally can face it if [I]148-sally 'm told out and out , but [I]148-sally can not abide the way [some folk]4857-some folk has of denying there 's trouble or pain to be met ; just as if [their]4857-some folk saying there was none , would do away with it . [Some folk]4857-some folk treats [one]321-one like [a babby]4860-a babby , and [I]148-sally do n't like it . [I]148-sally 'm not meaning _ [you]148-sally _ , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan . "[148-sally] " No , [Sally]148-sally , [you]148-sally need not say that . [I]143-mr benson know well enough who [you]148-sally mean when [you]148-sally say ' [some folk]4857-some folk . ' However , [I]143-mr benson admit [I]143-mr benson was wrong in speaking as if [you]148-sally minded trouble , for there never was a creature minded it less . But [I]143-mr benson want [you]148-sally to like [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " [I]143-mr benson dare say [I]143-mr benson should , if [you]148-sally 'd let [me]143-mr benson alone . [I]143-mr benson did na like [her]156-mrs denbigh sitting down in [master]4301-master 's chair . Set [her]156-mrs denbigh up , indeed , in an arm - chair wi ' cushions ! Wenches in [my]143-mr benson day were glad enough of stools . "[143-mr benson] " [She]156-mrs denbigh was tired to - night , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " [We]1759-the three quiet people are all tired ; so if [you]148-sally have done [your]148-sally work , [Sally]148-sally , come in to reading . "[143-mr benson] [The three quiet people]1759-the three quiet people knelt down side by side , and [two of [them]1759-the three quiet people]1760-two of them prayed earnestly for " [them]1759-the three quiet people that had gone astray . "[143-mr benson] Before ten o'clock , [the household]1179-the household were in bed . [Ruth]81-ruth , sleepless , weary , restless with the oppression of a sorrow which [she]81-ruth dared not face and contemplate bravely , kept awake all the early part of the night . Many a time did [she]81-ruth rise , and go to the long casement window , and look abroad over [the still and quiet town]1762-the still and quiet town -- over the grey stone walls , and chimneys , and old high - pointed roofs -- on to [the far - away hilly line of the horizon]1763-the far - away hilly line of the horizon , lying calm under the bright moonshine . It was late in the morning when [she]81-ruth woke from [her]81-ruth long - deferred slumbers ; and when [she]81-ruth went [downstairs]4556-downstairs , [she]81-ruth found [Mr]1765-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson awaiting [her]81-ruth in [the parlour]712-the parlour . [That homely , pretty , old - fashioned little room]1767-that homely , pretty , old - fashioned little room ! How bright and still and clean [it]1767-that homely , pretty , old - fashioned little room looked ! The window ( all the windows at the back of [the house]426-the house were casements ) was open , to let in the sweet morning air , and streaming eastern sunshine . The long jessamine sprays , with their white - scented stars , forced [themselves]1769-themselves almost into [the room]357-the room . [The little square garden beyond]1771-the little square garden beyond , with grey stone walls all round , was rich and mellow in its autumnal colouring , running from deep crimson hollyhocks up to amber and gold nasturtiums , and all toned down by the clear and delicate air . It was so still , that the gossamer - webs , laden with dew , did not tremble or quiver in the least ; but the sun was drawing to [himself]1772-himself the sweet incense of many flowers , and [the parlour]712-the parlour was scented with the odours of mignonette and stocks . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was arranging a bunch of China and damask roses in an old - fashioned jar ; they lay , all dewy and fresh , on the white breakfast - cloth when [Ruth]81-ruth entered . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was reading in some large folio . With gentle morning speech [they]1774-our greeted [her]81-ruth ; but the quiet repose of the scene was instantly broken by [Sally]148-sally popping in from [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , and glancing at [Ruth]81-ruth with sharp reproach . [She]148-sally said : " [I]148-sally reckon [I]148-sally may bring in breakfast , now ? "[148-sally] with a strong emphasis on the last word . " [I]81-ruth am afraid [I]81-ruth am very late , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " Oh , never mind , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , gently . " It was [our]1774-our fault for not telling [you]81-ruth [our]1774-our breakfast hour . [We]1774-our always have prayers at half - past seven ; and , for [Sally]148-sally 's sake , [we]1774-our never vary from that time ; for [she]148-sally can so arrange [her]148-sally work , if [she]148-sally knows the hour of prayers , as to have [her]148-sally mind calm and untroubled . "[143-mr benson] " Ahem ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , rather inclined to " testify "[143-mr benson] against the invariable calmness of [Sally]148-sally 's mind at any hour of the day ; but [[her]148-sally brother]982-her brother went on as if [he]982-her brother did not hear [her]148-sally . " But the breakfast does not signify being delayed a little ; and [I]982-her brother am sure [you]148-sally were sadly tired with [your]148-sally long day yesterday . "[982-her brother] [Sally]148-sally came slapping in , and put down some withered , tough , dry toast , with-- " It 's not [my]148-sally doing if it is like leather ; "[148-sally] but as [no one]517-no one appeared to hear [her]148-sally , [she]148-sally withdrew to [[her]148-sally kitchen]1778-her kitchen , leaving [Ruth]81-ruth 's cheeks like crimson at the annoyance [she]148-sally had caused . All day long , [she]148-sally had that feeling common to [those who go to stay at [a fresh house]1780-a fresh house among [comparative strangers]1781-comparative strangers]1779-those who go to stay at a fresh house among comparative strangers : a feeling of the necessity that [she]148-sally should become accustomed to the new atmosphere in which [she]148-sally was placed , before [she]148-sally could move and act freely ; it was , indeed , a purer ether , a diviner air , which [she]148-sally was breathing in now , than what [she]148-sally had been accustomed to for long months . [The gentle , blessed mother]1782-the gentle , blessed mother , who had made [her]1782-the gentle , blessed mother childhood 's [home holy ground]1783-home holy ground , was in [her]1782-the gentle , blessed mother very nature so far removed from any of earth 's stains and temptations , that [she]1782-the gentle , blessed mother seemed truly [one of those Who ask not if Thine eye Be on [them]1785-them]1784-one of those who ask not if thine eye be on them ; who , in love and truth , Where no misgiving is , rely Upon the genial sense of youth . In [[the Bensons]157-the bensons ' house]1786-the bensons ' house there was the same unconsciousness of individual merit , the same absence of introspection and analysis of motive , as there had been in [[her]148-sally mother]710-her mother ; but it seemed that [their]1788-their lives were pure and good , not merely from a lovely and beautiful nature , but from some law , the obedience to which was , of itself , harmonious peace , and which governed [them]1788-their almost implicitly , and with as little questioning on [their]1788-their part , as the glorious stars which haste not , rest not , in [their]1788-their eternal obedience . [This household]1789-this household had many failings : [they]1788-their were but human , and , with all [their]1788-their loving desire to bring [their]1788-their lives into harmony with the will of [God]104-leonard , [they]1788-their often erred and fell short ; but , somehow , the very errors and faults of [one individual]1790-one individual served to call out higher excellences in another , and so [they]1788-their reacted upon [each other]579-each other , and the result of short discords was exceeding harmony and peace . But [they]1788-their had [themselves]1788-their no idea of the real state of things ; [they]1788-their did not trouble [themselves]1788-their with marking [their]1788-their progress by self - examination ; if [Mr Benson]143-mr benson did sometimes , in hours of sick incapacity for exertion , turn inwards , it was to cry aloud with almost morbid despair , " [God]104-leonard be merciful to [me]143-mr benson [a sinner]4863-a sinner ! "[143-mr benson] But [he]143-mr benson strove to leave [his]143-mr benson life in the hands of [God]104-leonard , and to forget [himself]143-mr benson . [Ruth]81-ruth sat still and quiet through the long first day . [She]81-ruth was languid and weary from [her]81-ruth journey ; [she]81-ruth was uncertain what help [she]81-ruth might offer to give in the household duties , and what [she]81-ruth might not . And , in [her]81-ruth languor and in [her]81-ruth uncertainty , it was pleasant to watch the new ways of [the people among whom [she]81-ruth was placed]1792-the people among whom she was placed . After breakfast , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson withdrew to [[his]143-mr benson study]1727-his study , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson took away the cups and saucers , and , leaving the [kitchen]1794-kitchen door open , talked sometimes to [Ruth]81-ruth , sometimes to [Sally]148-sally , while [she]1795-she washed [them]1796-them up . [Sally]148-sally had upstairs duties to perform , for which [Ruth]81-ruth was thankful , as [she]81-ruth kept receiving rather angry glances for [her]81-ruth unpunctuality as long as [Sally]148-sally remained [downstairs]4556-downstairs . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson assisted in the preparation for the early dinner , and brought some kidney - beans to shred into a basin of bright , pure spring - water , which caught and danced in the sunbeams as [she]1795-she sat near the open casement of [the parlour]712-the parlour , talking to [Ruth]81-ruth of things and [people which as yet the latter]1799-people which as yet the latter did not understand , and could not arrange and comprehend . [She]1795-she was like [a child who gets a few pieces of a dissected map , and is confused until a glimpse of the whole unity]1800-a child who gets a few pieces of a dissected map , and is confused until a glimpse of the whole unity is shown [him]1800-a child who gets a few pieces of a dissected map , and is confused until a glimpse of the whole unity . [Mr]1801-mr and [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw were the centre pieces in [Ruth]81-ruth 's map ; [[their]1802-their children]1803-their children , [[their]1802-their servants]1804-their servants , were the accessories ; and one or two other names were occasionally mentioned . [Ruth]81-ruth wondered and almost wearied at [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's perseverance in talking to [her]1795-she about [people whom [she]1795-she did not know]1805-people whom she did not know ; but , in truth , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson heard the long - drawn , quivering sighs which came from the poor heavy heart , when it was left to silence , and had leisure to review the past ; and [her]1795-she quick accustomed ear caught also the low mutterings of the thunder in the distance , in the shape of [Sally]148-sally 's soliloquies , which , like the asides at [a theatre]1806-a theatre , were intended to be heard . Suddenly , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson called [Ruth]81-ruth out of [the room]357-the room , [upstairs]1186-upstairs into [[her]1795-she own bed - chamber]1809-her own bed - chamber , and then began rummaging in little old - fashioned boxes , drawn out of an equally old - fashioned bureau , half desk , half table , and wholly drawers . " [[My]1795-she dear]4145-my dear , [I]1795-she 've been very stupid and thoughtless . Oh ! [I]1795-she 'm so glad [I]1795-she thought of it before [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw came to call . Here it is ! "[1795-she] and [she]1795-she pulled out an old wedding - ring , and hurried it on [Ruth]81-ruth 's finger . [Ruth]81-ruth hung down [her]81-ruth head , and reddened deep with shame ; [her]81-ruth eyes smarted with the hot tears that filled them . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson talked on , in a nervous hurried way : " It was [[my]143-mr benson grandmother]4865-my grandmother 's ; it 's very broad ; [they]4865-my grandmother made them so then , to hold a posy inside : there 's one in that ; Thine own sweetheart Till death doth part , [I]143-mr benson think it is . There , there ! Run away , and look as if [you]81-ruth 'd always worn it . "[143-mr benson] [Ruth]81-ruth went up to [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room , and threw [herself]81-ruth down on [her]81-ruth knees by the bedside , and cried as if [her]81-ruth heart would break ; and then , as if a light had come down into [her]81-ruth soul , [she]81-ruth calmed [herself]81-ruth and prayed -- no words can tell how humbly , and with what earnest feeling . When [she]81-ruth came down , [she]81-ruth was tear - stained and wretchedly pale ; but even [Sally]148-sally looked at [her]81-ruth with new eyes , because of the dignity with which [she]148-sally was invested by an earnestness of purpose which had [[her]148-sally child]631-her child for its object . [She]81-ruth sat and thought , but [she]81-ruth no longer heaved those bitter sighs which had wrung [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's heart in the morning . In this way the day wore on ; early dinner , early tea , seemed to make it preternaturally long to [Ruth]81-ruth ; the only event was some unexplained absence of [Sally]148-sally 's , who had disappeared out of [the house]426-the house in the evening , much to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's surprise , and somewhat to [her]81-ruth indignation . At night , after [Ruth]81-ruth had gone up to [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room , this absence was explained to [her]81-ruth at least . [She]81-ruth had let down [her]81-ruth long waving glossy hair , and was standing absorbed in thought in the middle of [the room]357-the room , when [she]81-ruth heard a round clumping knock at [her]81-ruth door , different from that given by the small knuckles of delicate fingers , and in walked [Sally]148-sally , with a judge - like severity of demeanour , holding in [her]148-sally hand two [widow]1815-widow 's caps of commonest make and coarsest texture . [Queen Eleanor]162-queen eleanor [herself]162-queen eleanor , when [she]162-queen eleanor presented the bowl to [Fair Rosamond]163-fair rosamond , had not a more relentless purpose stamped on [her]162-queen eleanor demeanour than had [Sally]148-sally at this moment . [She]81-ruth walked up to the beautiful , astonished [Ruth]81-ruth , where [she]81-ruth stood in [her]81-ruth long , soft , white dressing - gown , with all [her]81-ruth luxuriant brown hair hanging dishevelled down [her]81-ruth figure , and thus [Sally]148-sally spoke : " [Missus]4866-missus -- or [miss]4384-miss , as the case may be -- [I've]148-sally [my]1816-i doubts as to [you]4868-you . [I]1816-i 'm not going to have [[my]1816-i master]4869-my master and [Miss Faith]164-miss faith put upon , or shame come near [them]4870-them . [Widows]4871-widows wears these sort o ' caps , and has [their]4871-widows hair cut off ; and whether [widows]4871-widows wears wedding - rings or not , [they]4871-widows shall have [their]4871-widows hair cut off -- [they]4871-widows shall . [I]1816-i 'll have no half work in [this house]4203-this house . [I]1816-i 've lived with [the family]693-the family forty - nine year come [Michaelmas]165-michaelmas , and [I]1816-i 'll not see it disgraced by [any one]425-any one 's fine long curls . Sit down and let [me]1816-i snip off [your]4868-you hair , and let [me]1816-i see [you]4868-you sham decently in [a widow]675-a widow 's cap to - morrow , or [I]1816-i 'll leave [the house]426-the house . Whatten 's come over [Miss Faith]164-miss faith , as used to be as mim [a lady as ever]4878-a lady as ever was , to be taken by such as [you]4868-you , [I]1816-i dunnot know . Here ! sit down with [ye]4868-you , and let [me]1816-i crop [you]4868-you . "[1816-i] [She]1816-i laid no light hand on [Ruth]81-ruth 's shoulder ; and the latter , partly intimidated by [the old servant]782-the old servant , who had hitherto only turned [her]782-the old servant vixen lining to observation , and partly because [she]782-the old servant was broken - spirited enough to be indifferent to the measure proposed , quietly sat down . [Sally]148-sally produced the formidable pair of scissors that always hung at [her]148-sally side , and began to cut in a merciless manner . [She]148-sally expected some remonstrance or some opposition , and had a torrent of words ready to flow forth at the least sign of rebellion ; but [Ruth]81-ruth was still and silent , with meekly - bowed head , under the strange hands that were shearing [her]81-ruth beautiful hair into the clipped shortness of [a boy]1510-a boy 's . Long before [she]148-sally had finished , [Sally]148-sally had some slight misgivings as to the fancied necessity of [her]148-sally task ; but it was too late , for half the curls were gone , and the rest must now come off . When [she]148-sally had done , [she]148-sally lifted up [Ruth]81-ruth 's face by placing [her]148-sally hand under the round white chin . [She]148-sally gazed into the countenance , expecting to read some anger there , though it had not come out in words ; but [she]148-sally only met the large , quiet eyes , that looked at [her]148-sally with sad gentleness out of their finely - hollowed orbits . [Ruth]81-ruth 's soft , yet dignified submission , touched [Sally]148-sally with compunction , though [she]782-the old servant did not choose to show the change in [her]782-the old servant feelings . [She]782-the old servant tried to hide it , indeed , by stooping to pick up the long bright tresses ; and , holding them up admiringly , and letting them drop down and float on the air ( like the pendant branches of the weeping birch ) , [she]782-the old servant said : " [I]782-the old servant thought [we]4879-we should ha ' had some crying -- [I]782-the old servant did . They 're pretty curls enough ; [you]148-sally 've not been so bad to let them be cut off neither . [You]148-sally see , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan is no wiser than [a babby]4860-a babby in some things ; and [Miss Faith]164-miss faith just lets [him]161-thurstan have [his]161-thurstan own way ; so it 's all left to [me]782-the old servant to keep [him]161-thurstan out of scrapes . [I]782-the old servant 'll wish [you]148-sally a very good night . [I]782-the old servant 've heard [many a one]4881-many a one say as long hair was not wholesome . Good night . "[782-the old servant] But in a minute [she]782-the old servant popped [her]782-the old servant head into [[Ruth]81-ruth 's room]1819-ruth 's room once more : " [You]81-ruth 'll put on them caps to - morrow morning . [I]782-the old servant 'll make [you]148-sally a present on them . "[782-the old servant] [Sally]148-sally had carried away the beautiful curls , and [she]148-sally could not find it in [her]148-sally heart to throw such lovely chestnut tresses away , so [she]148-sally folded them up carefully in paper , and placed them in a safe corner of [her]148-sally drawer . CHAPTER XIV [Ruth]81-ruth 's First Sunday at [Eccleston]36-eccleston [Ruth]81-ruth felt very shy when [she]81-ruth came down ( at half - past seven ) the next morning , in [[her]81-ruth widow]1820-her widow 's cap . [Her]81-ruth smooth , pale face , with its oval untouched by time , looked more young and childlike than ever , when contrasted with the head - gear usually associated with ideas of age . [She]81-ruth blushed very deeply as [Mr]1821-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson showed the astonishment , which [they]1822-they could not conceal , in [their]1822-they looks . [She]81-ruth said in a low voice to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , " [Sally]148-sally thought [I]81-ruth had better wear it . "[81-ruth] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson made no reply ; but was startled at the intelligence , which [she]81-ruth thought was conveyed in this speech , of [Sally]148-sally 's acquaintance with [Ruth]81-ruth 's real situation . [She]81-ruth noticed [Sally]148-sally 's looks particularly this morning . The manner in which [the old servant]782-the old servant treated [Ruth]81-ruth had in it far more of respect than there had been the day before ; but there was a kind of satisfied way of braving out [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's glances which made [the latter]1745-the latter uncertain and uncomfortable . [She]81-ruth followed [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother into [[his]982-her brother study]1727-his study . " Do [you]143-mr benson know , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , [I]81-ruth am almost certain [Sally]148-sally suspects . "[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson sighed . The deception grieved [him]143-mr benson , and yet [he]143-mr benson thought [he]143-mr benson saw its necessity . " What makes [you]143-mr benson think so ? "[143-mr benson] asked [he]143-mr benson . " Oh ! many little things . It was [her]148-sally odd way of ducking [her]148-sally head about , as if to catch a good view of [Ruth]81-ruth 's left hand , that made [me]143-mr benson think of the wedding - ring ; and once , yesterday , when [I]143-mr benson thought [I]143-mr benson had made up quite a natural speech , and was saying how sad it was for [so young a creature]4882-so young a creature to be left [a widow]675-a widow , [she]148-sally broke in with ' [widow be farred]4884-widow be farred ! ' in a very strange , contemptuous kind of manner . "[143-mr benson] " If [she]148-sally suspects , [we]4885-we had far better tell [her]148-sally the truth at once . [She]148-sally will never rest till [she]148-sally finds it out , so [we]4885-we must make a virtue of necessity . "[81-ruth] " Well , [brother]4681-brother , [you]4681-brother shall tell [her]148-sally then , for [I]143-mr benson am sure [I]143-mr benson dare n't . [I]143-mr benson do n't mind doing the thing , since [you]4681-brother talked to [me]143-mr benson that day , and since [I]143-mr benson 've got to know [Ruth]81-ruth ; but [I]143-mr benson do mind [all the clatter people]4887-all the clatter people will make about it . "[143-mr benson] " But [Sally]148-sally is not ' [people]322-people . ' "[143-mr benson] " Oh , [I]143-mr benson see it must be done ; [she]148-sally 'll talk as much as [all the other persons put together]4889-all the other persons put together , so that 's the reason [I]143-mr benson call [her]148-sally ' [people]322-people . ' Shall [I]143-mr benson call [her]148-sally ? "[143-mr benson] ( For [the house]426-the house was too homely and primitive to have bells . ) [Sally]148-sally came , fully aware of what was now going to be told [her]148-sally , and determined not to help [them]1828-they out in telling [their]1828-they awkward secret , by understanding the nature of it before it was put into the plainest language . In every pause , when [they]1828-they hoped [she]148-sally had caught the meaning [they]1828-they were hinting at , [she]148-sally persisted in looking stupid and perplexed , and in saying , " Well , "[148-sally] as if quite unenlightened as to the end of the story . When it was all complete and plain before [her]148-sally , [she]148-sally said , honestly enough , " It 's just as [I]148-sally thought it was ; and [I]148-sally think [you]143-mr benson may thank [me]148-sally for having had the sense to put [her]148-sally into [widow]1815-widow 's caps , and clip off that bonny brown hair that was fitter for [a bride]4892-a bride in lawful matrimony than for such as [her]148-sally . [She]148-sally took it very well , though . [She]148-sally was as quiet as a lamb , and [I]148-sally clipped [her]148-sally pretty roughly at first . [I]148-sally must say , though , if [I]148-sally 'd [ha]4893-ha ' known who [[your]143-mr benson visitor]4894-your visitor was , [I]148-sally 'd ha ' packed up [my]148-sally things and cleared [myself]148-sally out of [the house]426-the house before such as [her]148-sally came into [it]426-the house . As it 's done , [I]148-sally suppose [I]148-sally must stand by [you]143-mr benson , and help [you]143-mr benson through with it ; [I]148-sally only hope [I]148-sally sha n't lose [my]148-sally character,--and [me]148-sally [[a parish clerk]4896-a parish clerk 's daughter]4897-a parish clerk 's daughter . "[148-sally] " Oh , [Sally]148-sally ! [people]322-people know [you]143-mr benson too well to think any ill of [you]143-mr benson , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , who was pleased to find the difficulty so easily got over ; for , in truth , [Sally]148-sally had been much softened by the unresisting gentleness with which [Ruth]81-ruth had submitted to the " clipping "[148-sally] of the night before . " If [I]148-sally 'd been with [you]143-mr benson , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , [I]148-sally 'd [ha]4899-ha ' seen sharp after [you]143-mr benson , for [you]143-mr benson 're always picking up some one or another as [nobody else]4900-nobody else would touch with a pair of tongs . Why , there was [that [Nelly Brandon]166-nelly brandon 's child]4901-that nelly brandon 's child as was left at [our]4902-we door , if [I]148-sally had n't gone to [th ' overseer]4903-th ' overseer [we]4902-we should have had [that Irish tramp 's babby]4904-that irish tramp 's babby saddled on [us]4902-we for life ; but [I]148-sally went off and told [th ' overseer]4903-th ' overseer , and [th ' mother]4906-th ' mother was caught . "[148-sally] " Yes , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , sadly , " and [I]143-mr benson often lie awake and wonder what is the fate of that poor little thing , forced back on [the mother who tried to get quit of it]4907-the mother who tried to get quit of it . [I]143-mr benson often doubt whether [I]143-mr benson did right ; but it 's no use thinking about it now . "[143-mr benson] " [I]148-sally 'm thankful it is n't , "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally ; " and now , if [we]4902-we 've talked doctrine long enough , [I]148-sally 'll go make th ' beds . [Yon girl]4908-yon girl 's secret is safe enough for [me]148-sally . "[148-sally] Saying this [she]148-sally left [the room]357-the room , and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson followed . [She]1830-she found [Ruth]81-ruth busy washing the breakfast things ; and [they]1831-their were done in so quiet and orderly a manner , that neither [Miss Benson]143-mr benson nor [Sally]148-sally , both particular enough , had any of [their]1831-their little fancies or prejudices annoyed . [She]1830-she seemed to have an instinctive knowledge of the exact period when [her]1830-she help was likely to become a hindrance , and withdrew from [the busy kitchen]1832-the busy kitchen just at the right time . That afternoon , as [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Ruth]81-ruth sat at [their]1831-their work , [Mrs]1833-mrs and [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw called . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was so nervous as to surprise [Ruth]81-ruth , who did not understand the probable and possible questions which might be asked respecting [any visitor at [[the minister]1835-the minister 's house]1836-the minister 's house]1834-any visitor at the minister 's house . [Ruth]81-ruth went on sewing , absorbed in [her]81-ruth own thoughts , and glad that the conversation between [the two elder ladies]1837-the two elder ladies and the silence of [the younger one]1838-the younger one , who sat at some distance from [her]81-ruth , gave [her]81-ruth an opportunity of retreating into the haunts of memory ; and soon the work fell from [her]81-ruth hands , and [her]81-ruth eyes were fixed on [the little garden beyond]1839-the little garden beyond , but [she]81-ruth did not see [its]1839-the little garden beyond flowers or [its]1839-the little garden beyond walls ; [she]81-ruth saw [the mountains which girdled [Llan - dhu]31-llan - dhu]1840-the mountains which girdled llan - dhu , and saw the sun rise from behind their iron outline , just as it had done -- how long ago ? was it months or was it years?--since [she]81-ruth had watched the night through , crouched up at _ [his]1835-the minister _ door . Which was the dream and which the reality ? that distant life , or this ? [His]1835-the minister moans rang more clearly in [her]81-ruth ears than the buzzing of the conversation between [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . At length [the subdued , scared - looking little lady and [her]151-mrs bradshaw bright - eyed silent daughter]1841-the subdued , scared - looking little lady and her bright - eyed silent daughter rose to take leave ; [Ruth]81-ruth started into the present , and stood up and curtseyed , and turned sick at heart with sudden recollection . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson accompanied [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw to the door ; and in [the passage]1842-the passage gave [her]151-mrs bradshaw a long explanation of [Ruth]81-ruth 's ( fictitious ) history . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw looked so much interested and pleased , that [Miss Benson]143-mr benson enlarged a little more than was necessary , and rounded off [her]151-mrs bradshaw invention with one or two imaginary details , which , [she]151-mrs bradshaw was quite unconscious , were overheard by [[her]151-mrs bradshaw brother]982-her brother through the half - open study door . [She]81-ruth was rather dismayed when [he]982-her brother called [her]81-ruth into [[his]982-her brother room]4528-his room after [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's departure , and asked [her]81-ruth what [she]81-ruth had been saying about [Ruth]81-ruth ? " Oh ! [I]81-ruth thought it was better to explain it thoroughly -- [I]81-ruth mean , to tell the story [we]4909-we wished to have believed once for all -- [you]81-ruth know [we]4909-we agreed about that , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ? "[81-ruth] deprecatingly . " Yes ; but [I]81-ruth heard [you]81-ruth saying [you]81-ruth believed [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband had been [a young surgeon]4911-a young surgeon , did [I]81-ruth not ? "[81-ruth] " Well , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , [you]81-ruth know [he]730-her husband must have been something ; and [young surgeons]4912-young surgeons are so in the way of dying , it seemed very natural . Besides , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , with sudden boldness , " [I]81-ruth do think [I]81-ruth 've a talent for fiction , it is so pleasant to invent , and make the incidents dovetail together ; and after all , if [we]4909-we are to tell a lie , [we]4909-we may as well do it thoroughly , or else it 's of no use . A bungling lie would be worse than useless . And , [Thurstan]161-thurstan -- it may be very wrong -- but [I]81-ruth believe -- [I]81-ruth am afraid [I]81-ruth enjoy not being fettered by truth . Do n't look so grave . [You]81-ruth know it is necessary , if ever it was , to tell falsehoods now ; and do n't be angry with [me]81-ruth because [I]81-ruth do it well . "[81-ruth] [He]1845-i was shading [his]1845-i eyes with [his]1845-i hand , and did not speak for some time . At last [he]1845-i said : " If it were not for [the child]565-the child , [I]1845-i would tell all ; but [the world]506-the world is so cruel . [You]81-ruth do n't know how this apparent necessity for falsehood pains [me]1845-i , [Faith]164-miss faith , or [you]81-ruth would not invent all these details , which are so many additional lies . "[1845-i] " Well , well ! [I]1845-i will restrain [myself]1845-i if [I]1845-i have to talk about [Ruth]81-ruth again . But [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw will tell [every one who need to know]4915-every one who need to know . [You]81-ruth do n't wish [me]1845-i to contradict it , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , surely -- it was such a pretty , probable story . "[1845-i] " Faith ! [I]1845-i hope [God]104-leonard will forgive [us]4916-us if [we]4916-us are doing wrong ; and pray , [dear]4155-dear , do n't add one unnecessary word that is not true . "[1845-i] Another day elapsed , and then it was Sunday ; and [the house]426-the house seemed filled with a deep peace . Even [Sally]148-sally 's movements were less hasty and abrupt . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson seemed invested with a new dignity , which made [his]143-mr benson bodily deformity be forgotten in [his]143-mr benson calm , grave composure of spirit . Every trace of week - day occupation was put away ; the night before , a bright new handsome tablecloth had been smoothed down over the table , and the jars had been freshly filled with flowers . Sunday was a festival and a holy day in [the house]426-the house . After the very early breakfast , little feet pattered into [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's study]1717-mr benson 's study , for [he]143-mr benson had a class for [boys]4856-boys -- a sort of domestic Sunday - school , only that there was more talking between [teacher]1850-teacher and [pupils]1851-pupils , than dry , absolute lessons going on . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , too , had [[her]1852-her little , neat - tippeted maidens]1853-her little , neat - tippeted maidens sitting with [her]1852-her in [the parlour]712-the parlour ; and [she]1852-her was far more particular in keeping [them]1853-her little , neat - tippeted maidens to [their]1853-her little , neat - tippeted maidens reading and spelling , than [[her]1852-her brother]982-her brother was with [[his]982-her brother boys]1856-his boys . [Sally]148-sally , too , put in [her]148-sally word of instruction from [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , helping , as [she]148-sally fancied , though [her]148-sally assistance was often rather _ malapropos _ ; for instance , [she]148-sally called out , to [a little fat , stupid , roly - poly girl , to whom [Miss Benson]143-mr benson]1858-a little fat , stupid , roly - poly girl , to whom miss benson was busy explaining the meaning of the word quadruped , " Quadruped , a thing wi ' four legs , [Jenny]85-jenny ; a chair is a quadruped , [child]895-child ! "[148-sally] But [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had a deaf manner sometimes when [her]1852-her patience was not too severely tried , and [she]1852-her put it on now . [Ruth]81-ruth sat on [a low hassock]1859-a low hassock , and coaxed the least of the little creatures to [her]81-ruth , and showed it pictures till it fell asleep in [her]81-ruth arms , and sent a thrill through [her]81-ruth , at the thought of [the tiny darling who would lie on [her]81-ruth breast before long , and whom [she]81-ruth would have to cherish and to shelter from the storms of [the world]506-the world]1860-the tiny darling who would lie on her breast before long , and whom she would have to cherish and to shelter from the storms of the world . And then [she]81-ruth remembered , that [she]81-ruth was once white and sinless as [the wee lassie who lay in [her]81-ruth arms]1862-the wee lassie who lay in her arms ; and [she]81-ruth knew that [she]81-ruth had gone astray . By - and - by [the children]550-the children trooped away , and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson summoned [her]81-ruth to put on [her]81-ruth things for [chapel]1864-chapel . [The chapel]1865-the chapel was up [a narrow street]1866-a narrow street , or rather [_ cul - de - sac _]1867-_ cul - de - sac _ , close by . [It]1865-the chapel stood on [the outskirts of [the town]396-the town]1868-the outskirts of the town , almost in [fields]1870-fields . [It]1865-the chapel was built about the time of [Matthew]167-matthew and [Philip Henry]137-henry , when [the Dissenters]1871-the dissenters were afraid of attracting attention or observation , and hid [their]1871-the dissenters places of worship in [obscure and out - of - the - way parts of [the towns in which [they]1871-the dissenters were built]1873-the towns in which they were built]1872-obscure and out - of - the - way parts of the towns in which they were built . Accordingly , it often happened , as in the present case , that [the buildings immediately surrounding]1874-the buildings immediately surrounding , as well as [the chapels themselves]1875-the chapels themselves , looked as if they carried [you]1876-you back to a period a hundred and fifty years ago . [The chapel]1865-the chapel had a picturesque and old - world look , for luckily [the congregation]4749-the congregation had been too poor to rebuild [it]1865-the chapel , or new - face [it]1865-the chapel , in [George]80-george [the Third]348-the third 's time . The staircases which led to [the galleries]1880-the galleries were outside , at each end of [the building]1881-the building , and the irregular roof and worn stone steps looked grey and stained by time and weather . [The grassy hillocks]1882-the grassy hillocks , each with a little upright headstone , were shaded by a grand old wych - elm . A lilac - bush or two , a white rose - tree , and a few laburnums , all old and gnarled enough , were planted round [the chapel yard]1883-the chapel yard ; and the casement windows of [the chapel]1865-the chapel were made of heavy - leaded , diamond - shaped panes , almost covered with ivy , producing a green gloom , not without its solemnity , within . [This ivy]1885-this ivy was the home of an infinite number of little birds , which twittered and warbled , till it might have been thought that [they]1886-they were emulous of the power of praise possessed by [the human creatures within]1887-the human creatures within , with such earnest , long - drawn strains did [this crowd of winged songsters]1888-this crowd of winged songsters rejoice and be glad in [their]1888-this crowd of winged songsters beautiful gift of life . The interior of [the building]1881-the building was plain and simple as plain and simple could be . When [it]1881-the building was fitted up , oak - timber was much cheaper than it is now , so the wood - work was all of that description ; but roughly hewed , for [the early builders]1890-the early builders had not much wealth to spare . The walls were whitewashed , and were recipients of the shadows of the beauty without ; on [[their]1891-their " white plains]4919-their " white plains "[1891-their] the tracery of the ivy might be seen , now still , now stirred by the sudden flight of some little bird . [The congregation]4749-the congregation consisted of here and there [a farmer with [[his]1894-his labourers]1895-his labourers , who came down from [the uplands]1896-the uplands beyond [the town]396-the town to worship where [[their]1895-his labourers fathers]4439-their fathers worshipped , and who loved [the place]444-the place because [they]1895-his labourers knew how much [those fathers]1900-those fathers had suffered for [it]444-the place , although [they]1895-his labourers never troubled [themselves]1895-his labourers with the reason why [they]1895-his labourers left [the parish church]1901-the parish church]1893-a farmer with his labourers , who came down from the uplands beyond the town to worship where their fathers worshipped , and who loved the place because they knew how much those fathers had suffered for it , although they never troubled themselves with the reason why they left the parish church ; of [a few shopkeepers]1902-a few shopkeepers , far more thoughtful and reasoning , who were [Dissenters from conviction , unmixed with old ancestral association]1903-dissenters from conviction , unmixed with old ancestral association ; and of [one or two families of still higher worldly station]1904-one or two families of still higher worldly station . With [many poor , who were drawn there by love for [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's character , and by a feeling that the faith which made [him]143-mr benson what [he]143-mr benson was]1905-many poor , who were drawn there by love for mr benson 's character , and by a feeling that the faith which made him what he was could not be far wrong , for the base of the pyramid , and with [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw for [its]1906-its apex , [the congregation]4749-the congregation stood complete . [The country people]1908-the country people came in sleeking down [their]1908-the country people hair , and treading with earnest attempts at noiseless lightness of step over the floor of the aisle ; and by - and - by , when [all were assembled]1909-all were assembled , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson followed , unmarshalled and unattended . When [he]143-mr benson had closed the pulpit - door , and knelt in prayer for an instant or two , [he]143-mr benson gave out a psalm from the dear old Scottish paraphrase , with its primitive inversion of the simple perfect Bible words ; and a kind of precentor stood up , and , having sounded the note on a pitch - pipe , sang a couple of lines by way of indicating the tune ; then [all the congregation]1910-all the congregation stood up , and sang aloud , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's great bass voice being half a note in advance of the others , in accordance with [his]149-mr bradshaw place of precedence as [principal member of [the congregation]4749-the congregation]1911-principal member of the congregation . [His]149-mr bradshaw powerful voice was like an organ very badly played , and very much out of tune ; but as [he]149-mr bradshaw had no ear , and no diffidence , it pleased [him]149-mr bradshaw very much to hear the fine loud sound . [He]149-mr bradshaw was [a tall , large - boned , iron man]1913-a tall , large - boned , iron man ; stern , powerful , and authoritative in appearance ; dressed in clothes of the finest broadcloth , and scrupulously ill - made , as if to show that [he]149-mr bradshaw was indifferent to all outward things . [[His]149-mr bradshaw wife]737-his wife was sweet and gentle - looking , but as if [she]737-his wife was thoroughly broken into submission . [Ruth]81-ruth did not see this , or hear aught but the words which were reverently -- oh , how reverently!--spoken by [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . [He]149-mr bradshaw had had [Ruth]81-ruth present in [his]149-mr bradshaw thoughts all the time [he]149-mr bradshaw had been preparing for [his]149-mr bradshaw Sunday duty ; and [he]149-mr bradshaw had tried carefully to eschew everything which [she]81-ruth might feel as an allusion to [her]81-ruth own case . [He]149-mr bradshaw remembered how [the Good Shepherd]168-the good shepherd , in [Poussin]169-poussin 's beautiful picture , tenderly carried the lambs which had wearied [themselves]1915-themselves by going astray , and felt how like tenderness was required towards [poor Ruth]81-ruth . But where is the chapter which does not contain something which a broken and contrite spirit may not apply to itself ? And so it fell out that , as [he]149-mr bradshaw read , [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart was smitten , and [she]81-ruth sank down , and down , till [she]81-ruth was kneeling on the floor of the pew , and speaking to [God]104-leonard in the spirit , if not in the words , of [the Prodigal Son]1916-the prodigal son : " [Father]4711-father ! [I]81-ruth have sinned against Heaven and before [Thee]4711-father , and am no more worthy to be called [[Thy]4711-father child]4921-thy child ! "[81-ruth] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was thankful ( although [she]81-ruth loved [Ruth]81-ruth the better for this self - abandonment ) that [the minister]1835-the minister 's seat was far in the shade of [the gallery]1238-the gallery . [She]81-ruth tried to look most attentive to [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother , in order that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw might not suspect anything unusual , while [she]81-ruth stealthily took hold of [Ruth]81-ruth 's passive hand , as it lay helpless on the cushion , and pressed it softly and tenderly . But [Ruth]81-ruth sat on the ground , bowed down and crushed in [her]81-ruth sorrow , till all was ended . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson loitered in [her]81-ruth seat , divided between the consciousness that [she]81-ruth , as _ locum tenens _ for [[the minister]1835-the minister 's wife]1921-the minister 's wife , was expected to be at the door to receive the kind greetings of many after [her]81-ruth absence from [home]4124-home , and [her]81-ruth unwillingness to disturb [Ruth]81-ruth , who was evidently praying , and , by [her]81-ruth quiet breathing , receiving grave and solemn influences into [her]81-ruth soul . At length [she]81-ruth rose up , calm and composed even to dignity . [The chapel]1865-the chapel was still and empty ; but [Miss Benson]143-mr benson heard the buzz of voices in [the chapel - yard]1924-the chapel - yard without . [They]1925-they were probably those of people waiting for [her]81-ruth ; and [she]81-ruth summoned courage , and taking [Ruth]81-ruth 's arm in [hers]81-ruth , and holding [her]81-ruth hand affectionately , [they]1926-they went out into the broad daylight . As [they]1926-they issued forth , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson heard [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's strong bass voice speaking to [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother , and winced , as [she]81-ruth knew [he]982-her brother would be wincing , under the broad praise , which is impertinence , however little it may be intended or esteemed as such . " Oh , [yes!--my wife]4922-yes!--my wife told [me]143-mr benson yesterday about [her]4922-yes!--my wife -- [[her]4922-yes!--my wife husband]730-her husband was [a surgeon]4924-a surgeon ; [[my]143-mr benson father]4925-my father was [a surgeon]4924-a surgeon too , as [I]143-mr benson think [you]143-mr benson have heard . Very much to [your]143-mr benson credit , [I]143-mr benson must say , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , with [your]143-mr benson limited means , to burden [yourself]143-mr benson with [a poor relation]4927-a poor relation . Very creditable indeed . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson glanced at [Ruth]81-ruth ; [she]81-ruth either did not hear or did not understand , but passed on into the awful sphere of [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's observation unmoved . [He]149-mr bradshaw was in a bland and condescending humour of universal approval , and when [he]149-mr bradshaw saw [Ruth]81-ruth , [he]149-mr bradshaw nodded [his]149-mr bradshaw head in token of satisfaction . That ordeal was over , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson thought , and in the thought rejoiced . " After dinner , [you]143-mr benson must go and lie down , [[my]81-ruth dear]4145-my dear , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , untying [Ruth]81-ruth 's bonnet - strings , and kissing [her]81-ruth . " [Sally]148-sally goes to [church]4207-church again , but [you]143-mr benson wo n't mind staying alone in [the house]426-the house . [I]81-ruth am sorry [we]4931-we have so many [people]322-people to dinner , but [[my]81-ruth brother]4794-my brother will always have enough on Sundays for [any old or weak people , who may have come from a distance]4934-any old or weak people , who may have come from a distance , to stay and dine with [us]4931-we ; and to - day [they]322-people all seem to have come , because it is [his]4794-my brother first Sabbath at [home]4124-home . "[81-ruth] In this way [Ruth]81-ruth 's first Sabbath passed over . CHAPTER XV [Mother]4127-mother and [Child]170-child " Here is a parcel for [you]81-ruth , [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson on the Tuesday morning . " For [me]81-ruth ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , all sorts of rushing thoughts and hopes filling [her]81-ruth mind , and turning [her]81-ruth dizzy with expectation . If it had been from " [him]4794-my brother , "[81-ruth] [the new - born resolutions]1929-the new - born resolutions would have had a hard struggle for existence . " It is directed ' [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , ' "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , before giving it up . " It is in [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's handwriting ; "[143-mr benson] and , far more curious than [Ruth]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth awaited the untying of the close - knotted string . When the paper was opened , it displayed a whole piece of delicate cambric - muslin ; and there was a short note from [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw to [Ruth]81-ruth , saying [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband had wished [her]151-mrs bradshaw to send this muslin in aid of any preparations [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh might have to make . [Ruth]81-ruth said nothing , but coloured up , and sat down again to [her]81-ruth employment . " Very fine muslin indeed , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , feeling it , and holding it up against the light , with the air of [a connoisseur]1931-a connoisseur ; yet all the time [she]81-ruth was glancing at [Ruth]81-ruth 's grave face . [The latter]1745-the latter kept silence , and showed no wish to inspect [her]81-ruth present further . At last [she]81-ruth said , in a low voice , " [I]81-ruth suppose [I]81-ruth may send it back again ? "[81-ruth] " [[My]81-ruth dear child]4936-my dear child ! send it back to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ! [You]4936-my dear child 'd offend [him]149-mr bradshaw for life . [You]4936-my dear child may depend upon it , [he]149-mr bradshaw means it as a mark of high favour ! "[81-ruth] " What right had [he]149-mr bradshaw to send it [me]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , still in [her]81-ruth quiet voice . " What right ? [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw thinks-- [I]81-ruth do n't know exactly what [you]81-ruth mean by ' right . ' "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth was silent for a moment , and then said : " There are people to whom [I]81-ruth love to feel that [I]81-ruth owe gratitude -- gratitude which [I]81-ruth can not express , and had better not talk about -- but [I]81-ruth can not see why [a person whom [I]81-ruth do not know]4937-a person whom i do not know should lay [me]81-ruth under an obligation . Oh ! do n't say [I]81-ruth must take [this muslin]4938-this muslin , please , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ! "[81-ruth] What [Miss Benson]143-mr benson might have said if [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother had not just then entered [the room]357-the room , neither [he]982-her brother nor [any other person]1935-any other person could tell ; but [she]81-ruth felt [his]982-her brother presence was most opportune , and called [him]982-her brother in as [umpire]1936-umpire . [He]982-her brother had come hastily , for [he]982-her brother had much to do ; but [he]982-her brother no sooner heard the case than [he]982-her brother sat down , and tried to draw some more explicit declaration of [her]81-ruth feeling from [Ruth]81-ruth , who had remained silent during [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's explanation . " [You]81-ruth would rather send this present back ? "[982-her brother] said [he]982-her brother . " Yes , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth answered , softly . " Is it wrong ? "[81-ruth] " Why do [you]81-ruth want to return it ? "[81-ruth] " Because [I]143-mr benson feel as if [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had no right to offer it [me]143-mr benson . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was silent . " It 's beautifully fine , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , still examining the piece . " [You]81-ruth think that it is a right which must be earned ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , after a minute 's pause . " Do n't [you]143-mr benson ? "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth understand what [you]143-mr benson mean . It is a delight to have gifts made to [you]4939-you by those whom [you]4939-you esteem and love , because then such gifts are merely to be considered as fringes to the garment -- as inconsiderable additions to the mighty treasure of [their]4940-their affection , adding a grace , but no additional value , to what before was precious , and proceeding as naturally out of that as leaves burgeon out upon the trees ; but [you]4939-you feel it to be different when there is no regard for [the giver to idealise the gift]4941-the giver to idealise the gift -- when it simply takes its stand among [your]4939-you property as so much money 's value . Is this it , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] " [I]143-mr benson think it is . [I]143-mr benson never reasoned why [I]143-mr benson felt as [I]143-mr benson did ; [I]143-mr benson only knew that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's giving [me]143-mr benson a present hurt [me]143-mr benson , instead of making [me]143-mr benson glad . "[143-mr benson] " Well , but there is another side of the case [we]4942-we have not looked at yet -- [we]4942-we must think of that , too . [You]4939-you know who said , ' Do unto [others]368-others as [ye]4939-you would that [they]368-others should do unto [you]4939-you ' ? [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw may not have had that in [his]149-mr bradshaw mind when [he]149-mr bradshaw desired [[his]149-mr bradshaw wife]737-his wife to send [you]4939-you this ; [he]149-mr bradshaw may have been self - seeking , and only anxious to gratify [his]149-mr bradshaw love of patronising -- that is the worst motive [we]4942-we can give [him]149-mr bradshaw ; and that would be no excuse for [your]4939-you thinking only of [yourself]4939-you , and returning [his]149-mr bradshaw present . "[81-ruth] " But [you]4939-you would not have [me]81-ruth pretend to be obliged ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . " No , [I]81-ruth would not . [I]81-ruth have often been similarly situated to [you]4939-you , [Ruth]81-ruth ; [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw has frequently opposed [me]81-ruth on the points on which [I]81-ruth feel the warmest -- am the most earnestly convinced . [He]149-mr bradshaw , no doubt , thinks [me]81-ruth Quixotic , and often speaks of [me]81-ruth , and to [me]81-ruth , with great contempt when [he]149-mr bradshaw is angry . [I]81-ruth suppose [he]149-mr bradshaw has a little fit of penitence afterwards , or perhaps [he]149-mr bradshaw thinks [he]149-mr bradshaw can pay for ungracious speeches by a present ; so , formerly , [he]149-mr bradshaw invariably sent [me]81-ruth something after these occasions . It was a time , of all others , to feel as [you]4939-you are doing now ; but [I]81-ruth became convinced it would be right to accept [them]4945-them , giving only the very cool thanks which [I]81-ruth felt . This omission of all show of much gratitude had the best effect -- the presents have much diminished ; but if the gifts have lessened , the unjustifiable speeches have decreased in still greater proportion , and [I]81-ruth am sure [we]4946-we respect [each other]579-each other more . Take [this muslin]4938-this muslin , [Ruth]81-ruth , for the reason [I]81-ruth named ; and thank [him]149-mr bradshaw as [your]81-ruth feelings prompt [you]81-ruth . Overstrained expressions of gratitude always seem like an endeavour to place [the receiver of these expressions]4949-the receiver of these expressions in the position of [debtor for future favours]4950-debtor for future favours . But [you]81-ruth wo n't fall into this error . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth listened to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ; but [she]81-ruth had not yet fallen sufficiently into the tone of [his]143-mr benson mind to understand [him]143-mr benson fully . [She]81-ruth only felt that [he]143-mr benson comprehended [her]81-ruth better than [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , who once more tried to reconcile [her]81-ruth to [her]81-ruth present , by calling [her]81-ruth attention to the length and breadth thereof . " [I]81-ruth will do what [you]143-mr benson wish [me]81-ruth , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth said , after a little pause of thoughtfulness . " May [we]4951-we talk of something else ? "[81-ruth] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw that [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's frame of mind was not particularly congenial with [Ruth]81-ruth 's , any more than [Ruth]81-ruth 's was with [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's ; and , putting aside all thought of returning to the business which had appeared to [him]143-mr benson so important when [he]143-mr benson came into [the room]357-the room ( but which principally related to [himself]143-mr benson ) , [he]143-mr benson remained above an hour in [the parlour]712-the parlour , interesting [them]1940-them on subjects far removed from the present , and left [them]1940-them at the end of that time soothed and calm . But the present gave a new current to [Ruth]81-ruth 's ideas . [Her]81-ruth heart was as yet too sore to speak , but [her]81-ruth mind was crowded with plans . [She]81-ruth asked [Sally]148-sally to buy [her]81-ruth ( with the money produced by the sale of a ring or two ) the coarsest linen , the homeliest dark blue print , and similar materials ; on which [she]81-ruth set busily to work to make clothes for [herself]81-ruth ; and as they were made , [she]81-ruth put them on ; and as [she]81-ruth put them on , [she]81-ruth gave a grace to each , which such homely material and simple shaping had never had before . Then the fine linen and delicate soft white muslin , which [she]81-ruth had chosen in preference to more expensive articles of dress when [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham had given [her]81-ruth _ carte blanche _ in [London]3-london , were cut into small garments , most daintily stitched and made ready for the little creature , for whom in its white purity of soul nothing could be too precious . The love which dictated this extreme simplicity and coarseness of attire , was taken for stiff , hard economy by [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , when [he]149-mr bradshaw deigned to observe it . And economy by itself , without any soul or spirit in it to make it living and holy , was a great merit in [his]149-mr bradshaw eyes . Indeed , [Ruth]81-ruth altogether found favour with [him]149-mr bradshaw . [Her]81-ruth quiet manner , subdued by an internal consciousness of a deeper cause for sorrow than [he]149-mr bradshaw was aware of , [he]149-mr bradshaw interpreted into a very proper and becoming awe of [him]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw looked off from [his]149-mr bradshaw own prayers to observe how well [she]81-ruth attended to [hers]81-ruth at [chapel]1864-chapel ; when [he]149-mr bradshaw came to any verse in the hymn relating to immortality or a future life , [he]149-mr bradshaw sang it unusually loud , thinking [he]149-mr bradshaw should thus comfort [her]81-ruth in [her]81-ruth sorrow for [[her]81-ruth deceased husband]1942-her deceased husband . [He]149-mr bradshaw desired [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw to pay [her]81-ruth every attention [she]81-ruth could ; and even once remarked , that [he]149-mr bradshaw thought [her]81-ruth so respectable [a young person]1943-a young person that [he]149-mr bradshaw should not object to [her]81-ruth being asked to tea the next time [Mr]1944-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson came . [He]149-mr bradshaw added , that [he]149-mr bradshaw thought , indeed , [Benson]143-mr benson had looked last Sunday as if [he]149-mr bradshaw rather hoped to get an invitation ; and it was right to encourage [the ministers]1945-the ministers , and to show [them]1945-the ministers respect , even though [their]1945-the ministers salaries were small . The only thing against this [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh was the circumstance of [her]156-mrs denbigh having married too early , and without any provision for [a family]1946-a family . Though [Ruth]81-ruth pleaded delicacy of health , and declined accompanying [Mr]1947-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson on [their]1948-their visit to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , [she]81-ruth still preserved [her]81-ruth place in [his]149-mr bradshaw esteem ; and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had to call a little upon [her]81-ruth " talent for fiction "[143-mr benson] to spare [Ruth]81-ruth from the infliction of further presents , in making which [his]149-mr bradshaw love of patronising delighted . The yellow and crimson leaves came floating down on the still October air ; November followed , bleak and dreary ; it was more cheerful when [the earth]843-the earth put on [her]81-ruth beautiful robe of white , which covered up all the grey naked stems , and loaded the leaves of the hollies and evergreens each with its burden of feathery snow . When [Ruth]81-ruth sank down to languor and sadness , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson trotted [upstairs]1186-upstairs , and rummaged up every article of spare or worn - out clothing , and bringing down a variety of strange materials , [she]81-ruth tried to interest [Ruth]81-ruth in making them up into garments for [the poor]497-the poor . But though [Ruth]81-ruth 's fingers flew through the work , [she]81-ruth still sighed with thought and remembrance . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was at first disappointed , and then [she]81-ruth was angry . When [she]81-ruth heard the low , long sigh , and saw the dreamy eyes filling with glittering tears , [she]81-ruth would say , " What is the matter , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] in a half - reproachful tone , for the sight of suffering was painful to [her]81-ruth ; [she]81-ruth had done all in [her]81-ruth power to remedy it ; and , though [she]81-ruth acknowledged a cause beyond [her]81-ruth reach for [Ruth]81-ruth 's deep sorrow , and , in fact , loved and respected [her]81-ruth all the more for these manifestations of grief , yet at the time they irritated [her]81-ruth . Then [Ruth]81-ruth would snatch up the dropped work , and stitch away with drooping eyes , from which the hot tears fell fast ; and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was then angry with [herself]81-ruth , yet not at all inclined to agree with [Sally]148-sally when [she]81-ruth asked [[her]81-ruth mistress]1274-her mistress " why [she]1274-her mistress kept ' mithering ' [the poor lass]4952-the poor lass with asking [her]4952-the poor lass for ever what was the matter , as if [she]1274-her mistress did not know well enough . "[81-ruth] Some element of harmony was wanting -- [some little angel of peace]1953-some little angel of peace , in loving whom all hearts and natures should be drawn together , and [their]1954-their discords hushed . [The earth]843-the earth was still " hiding [her]1957-the pale white mother guilty front with innocent snow , "[1956-a little baby] when [a little baby]1956-a little baby was laid by the side of [the pale white mother]1957-the pale white mother . It was [a boy]1510-a boy ; beforehand [she]81-ruth had wished for [a girl]1959-a girl , as being less likely to feel the want of [a father]4308-a father -- as being what [a mother]1536-a mother , worse than widowed , could most effectually shelter . But now [she]81-ruth did not think or remember this . What it was , [she]81-ruth would not have exchanged for [a wilderness of [girls]1963-girls]1962-a wilderness of girls . It was [her]81-ruth own , [[her]81-ruth darling]1704-her darling , [[her]81-ruth individual baby]1965-her individual baby , already , though not an hour old , separate and sole in [her]81-ruth heart , strangely filling up its measure with love and peace , and even hope . For here was a new , pure , beautiful , innocent life , which [she]81-ruth fondly imagined , in that early passion of maternal love , [she]81-ruth could guard from every touch of corrupting sin by ever watchful and most tender care . And _ [[her]81-ruth _ mother]1966-her _ mother had thought the same , most probably ; and [thousands of [others]368-others]1967-thousands of others think the same , and pray to [God]104-leonard to purify and cleanse [their]1967-thousands of others souls , that [they]1967-thousands of others may be [fit guardians for [[their]1967-thousands of others little children]1970-their little children]1969-fit guardians for their little children . Oh , how [Ruth]81-ruth prayed , even while [she]81-ruth was yet too weak to speak ; and how [she]81-ruth felt the beauty and significance of the words , " [[Our]4953-our Father]4954-our father ! "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth was roused from this holy abstraction by the sound of [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's voice . It was very much as if [she]81-ruth had been crying . " Look , [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[81-ruth] it said , softly , " [[my]81-ruth brother]4794-my brother sends [you]81-ruth these . They are the first snowdrops in [the garden]783-the garden . "[81-ruth] And [she]81-ruth put them on the pillow by [Ruth]81-ruth ; [the baby]1144-the baby lay on the opposite side . " Wo n't [you]143-mr benson look at [him]1144-the baby ? "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth ; " [he]1144-the baby is so pretty ! "[81-ruth] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had a strange reluctance to see [him]1144-the baby . To [Ruth]81-ruth , in spite of all that had come and gone , [she]81-ruth was reconciled -- nay , more , [she]81-ruth was deeply attached ; but over [the baby]1144-the baby there hung a cloud of shame and disgrace . [Poor little creature]1973-poor little creature ! [her]81-ruth heart was closed against it -- firmly , as [she]81-ruth thought . But [she]81-ruth could not resist [Ruth]81-ruth 's low faint voice , nor [her]81-ruth pleading eyes , and [she]81-ruth went round to peep at [him]1144-the baby as [he]1144-the baby lay in [[his]1144-the baby mother]655-his mother 's arm , as yet [his]1144-the baby shield and guard . " [Sally]148-sally says [he]1144-the baby will have black hair , [she]148-sally thinks , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " [His]1144-the baby little hand is quite [a man]650-a man 's , already . Just feel how firmly [he]1144-the baby closes it ; "[81-ruth] and with [her]81-ruth own weak fingers [she]81-ruth opened [his]1144-the baby little red fist , and taking [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's reluctant hand , placed one of [her]81-ruth fingers in [his]1144-the baby grasp . [That baby - touch]1975-that baby - touch called out [her]81-ruth love ; the doors of [her]81-ruth heart were thrown open wide for [the little infant]1976-the little infant to go in and take possession . " Ah , [[my]81-ruth darling]4347-my darling ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , falling back weak and weary . " If [God]104-leonard will but spare [you]4347-my darling to [me]81-ruth , never [mother]4127-mother did more than [I]81-ruth will . [I]81-ruth have done [you]4347-my darling a grievous wrong -- but , if [I]81-ruth may but live , [I]81-ruth will spend [my]81-ruth life in serving [you]4347-my darling ! "[81-ruth] " And in serving [God]104-leonard ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , with tears in [her]81-ruth eyes . " [You]81-ruth must not make [him]631-her child into [an idol]4960-an idol , or [God]104-leonard will , perhaps , punish [you]81-ruth through [him]631-her child . "[143-mr benson] A pang of affright shot through [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart at these words ; had [she]81-ruth already sinned and made [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child into [an idol]4960-an idol , and was there punishment already in store for [her]81-ruth through [him]631-her child ? But then the internal voice whispered that [God]104-leonard was " [[Our]1979-our Father]4954-our father , "[104-leonard] and that [He]104-leonard knew [our]1979-our frame , and knew how natural was the first outburst of [a mother]1536-a mother 's love ; so , although [she]81-ruth treasured up the warning , [she]81-ruth ceased to affright [herself]81-ruth for what had already gushed forth . " Now go to sleep , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , kissing [her]81-ruth , and darkening [the room]357-the room . But [Ruth]81-ruth could not sleep ; if [her]81-ruth heavy eyes closed , [she]81-ruth opened them again with a start , for sleep seemed to be an enemy stealing from [her]81-ruth the consciousness of being [a mother]1536-a mother . That one thought excluded all remembrance and all anticipation , in those first hours of delight . But soon remembrance and anticipation came . There was the natural want of [the person]1983-the person , who alone could take an interest similar in kind , though not in amount , to [the mother]618-the mother 's . And sadness grew like [a giant in the still watches of the night]1985-a giant in the still watches of the night , when [she]81-ruth remembered that there would be [no father]1986-no father to guide and strengthen [the child]565-the child , and place [him]565-the child in a favourable position for fighting the hard " Battle of Life . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth hoped and believed that [no one]517-no one would know the sin of [[his]565-the child parents]1989-his parents , and that that struggle might be spared to [him]565-the child . But [a father]4308-a father 's powerful care and mighty guidance would never be [his]4308-a father ; and then , in those hours of spiritual purification , came the wonder and the doubt of how far [the real father]1991-the real father would be [the one to whom , with [her]81-ruth desire of heaven for [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child , whatever might become of [herself]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth would wish to entrust [him]565-the child]1992-the one to whom , with her desire of heaven for her child , whatever might become of herself , she would wish to entrust him . Slight speeches , telling of a selfish , worldly nature , unnoticed at the time , came back upon [her]81-ruth ear , having a new significance . [They]1994-they told of a low standard , of impatient self - indulgence , of no acknowledgment of things spiritual and heavenly . Even while this examination was forced upon [her]81-ruth , by the new spirit of maternity that had entered into [her]81-ruth , and made [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's welfare supreme , [she]81-ruth hated and reproached [herself]81-ruth for the necessity there seemed upon [her]81-ruth of examining and judging [the absent father of [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child]1996-the absent father of her child . And so the compelling presence that had taken possession of [her]81-ruth wearied [her]81-ruth into a kind of feverish slumber ; in which [she]81-ruth dreamt that [the innocent babe that lay by [her]81-ruth side in soft ruddy slumber]1998-the innocent babe that lay by her side in soft ruddy slumber had started up into [man]661-man 's growth , and , instead of [the pure and noble being whom [she]81-ruth had prayed to present as [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child to " [[Our]4963-our Father]4954-our father in [heaven]1252-heaven]4962-the pure and noble being whom she had prayed to present as her child to " our father in heaven , "[2001-he] [he]2001-he was [a repetition of [[his]2001-he father]658-his father]2002-a repetition of his father ; and , like [him]2001-he , lured [some maiden ( who in [her]81-ruth dream seemed strangely like [herself]81-ruth]2004-some maiden ( who in her dream seemed strangely like herself , only more utterly sad and desolate even than [she]81-ruth ) into sin , and left [her]81-ruth there to even a worse fate than that of suicide . For [Ruth]81-ruth believed there was a worse . [She]81-ruth dreamt [she]81-ruth saw [the girl]1016-the girl , wandering , lost ; and that [she]81-ruth saw [[her]81-ruth son]990-her son in high places , prosperous -- but with more than blood on [his]990-her son soul . [She]81-ruth saw [[her]81-ruth son]990-her son dragged down by [the clinging girl]2008-the clinging girl into some pit of horrors into which [she]81-ruth dared not look , but from whence [[his]990-her son father]658-his father 's voice was heard , crying aloud , that in [his]658-his father day and generation [he]658-his father had not remembered the words of [God]104-leonard , and that now [he]658-his father was " tormented in this flame . "[658-his father] Then [she]81-ruth started in sick terror , and saw , by the dim rushlight , [Sally]148-sally , nodding in an arm - chair by the fire ; and felt [[her]148-sally little soft warm babe]2010-her little soft warm babe , nestled up against [her]148-sally breast , rocked by [her]148-sally heart , which yet beat hard from the effects of the evil dream . [She]81-ruth dared not go to sleep again , but prayed . And every time [she]81-ruth prayed , [she]81-ruth asked with a more complete wisdom , and a more utter and self - forgetting faith . [Little child]2011-little child ! [[thy]2011-little child angel]2012-thy angel was with [God]104-leonard , and drew [her]81-ruth nearer and nearer to [Him]104-leonard , whose face is continually beheld by [the angels of [little children]2014-little children]2013-the angels of little children . CHAPTER XVI [Sally]148-sally Tells of [[Her]148-sally Sweethearts]2015-her sweethearts , and Discourses on the Duties of Life [Sally]148-sally and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson took it in turns to sit up , or rather , [they]2016-they took it in turns to nod by the fire ; for if [Ruth]81-ruth was awake [she]81-ruth lay very still in the moonlight calm of [her]81-ruth sick bed . That time resembled a beautiful August evening , such as [I]0-i have seen . The white , snowy rolling mist covers up under its great sheet all trees and [meadows]2017-meadows , and tokens of [earth]2018-earth ; but it can not rise high enough to shut out the heavens , which on such nights seem bending very near , and to be the only real and present objects ; and so near , so real and present , did heaven , and eternity , and [God]104-leonard seem to [Ruth]81-ruth , as [she]81-ruth lay encircling [[her]81-ruth mysterious holy child]2019-her mysterious holy child . One night [Sally]148-sally found out [she]81-ruth was not asleep . " [I]148-sally 'm a rare hand at talking [folks]4966-folks to sleep , "[148-sally] said [she]148-sally . " [I]148-sally 'll try on [thee]81-ruth , for [thou]81-ruth must get strength by sleeping and eating . What must [I]148-sally talk to [thee]81-ruth about , [I]148-sally wonder . Shall [I]148-sally tell [thee]81-ruth a love story or a fairy story , such as [I]148-sally 've telled [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan many a time and many a time , for all [[his]161-thurstan father]658-his father set [his]161-thurstan face again fairies , and called it vain talking ; or shall [I]148-sally tell [you]81-ruth the dinner [I]148-sally once cooked , when [Mr Harding]171-mr harding , as was [[Miss Faith]164-miss faith 's sweetheart]4968-miss faith 's sweetheart , came unlooked for , and [we]4969-we 'd nought in [the house]426-the house but a neck of mutton , out of which [I]148-sally made seven dishes , all with a different name ? "[148-sally] " Who was [Mr Harding]171-mr harding ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . " Oh , [he]171-mr harding was [a grand gentleman from [Lunnon]38-lunnon]4971-a grand gentleman from lunnon , as had seen [Miss Faith]164-miss faith , and been struck by [her]164-miss faith pretty looks when [she]164-miss faith was out on a visit , and came here to ask [her]164-miss faith to marry [him]171-mr harding . [She]164-miss faith said , ' No , [she]164-miss faith would never leave [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , as could never marry ; ' but [she]164-miss faith pined a deal at after [he]161-thurstan went away . [She]164-miss faith kept up afore [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , but [I]81-ruth seed [her]164-miss faith fretting , though [I]81-ruth never let on that [I]81-ruth did , for [I]81-ruth thought [she]164-miss faith 'd soonest get over it and be thankful at after [she]164-miss faith 'd the strength to do right . However , [I]81-ruth 've no business to be talking of [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's concerns . [I]81-ruth 'll tell [you]4972-you of [[my]81-ruth own sweethearts]4973-my own sweethearts and welcome , or [I]81-ruth 'll tell [you]4972-you of the dinner , which was the grandest thing [I]81-ruth ever did in [my]81-ruth life , but [I]81-ruth thought [a Lunnoner]4974-a lunnoner should never think [country folks]4975-country folks knew nothing ; and , [my]81-ruth word ! [I]81-ruth puzzled [him]4974-a lunnoner with [his]4974-a lunnoner dinner . [I]81-ruth 'm doubting whether to this day [he]4974-a lunnoner knows whether what [he]4974-a lunnoner was eating was fish , flesh , or fowl . Shall [I]81-ruth tell [you]4972-you how [I]81-ruth managed ? "[81-ruth] But [Ruth]81-ruth said [she]81-ruth would rather hear about [[Sally]148-sally 's sweethearts]2020-sally 's sweethearts , much to the disappointment of the latter , who considered the dinner by far the greatest achievement . " Well , [you]4972-you see , [I]148-sally do n't know as [I]148-sally should call [them]2020-sally 's sweethearts [sweethearts]4976-sweethearts ; for excepting [John Rawson]172-john rawson , who was shut up in [the mad - house]4977-the mad - house the next week , [I]148-sally never had what [you]4972-you may call a downright offer of marriage but once . But [I]148-sally had once ; and so [I]148-sally may say [I]148-sally had [a sweetheart]4978-a sweetheart . [I]148-sally was beginning to be afeard though , for one likes to be axed ; that 's but civility ; and [I]148-sally remember , after [I]148-sally had turned forty , and afore [Jeremiah Dixon]173-jerry dixon had spoken , [I]148-sally began to think [John Rawson]172-john rawson had perhaps not been so very mad , and that [I]148-sally 'd done ill to lightly [his]172-john rawson offer , as [a madman]4979-a madman 's , if it was to be the only one [I]148-sally was ever to have ; [I]148-sally do n't mean as [I]148-sally 'd have had [him]172-john rawson , but [I]148-sally thought , if it was to come o'er again , [I]148-sally 'd speak respectful of [him]172-john rawson to [folk]4846-folk , and say it were only [his]172-john rawson way to go about on all fours , but that [he]172-john rawson was [a sensible man]4981-a sensible man in most things . However , [I]148-sally 'd had [my]148-sally laugh , and so had [others]368-others , at [[my]148-sally crazy lover]4983-my crazy lover , and it was late now to set [him]172-john rawson up as [a Solomon]4984-a solomon . However , [I]148-sally thought it would be no bad thing to be tried again ; but [I]148-sally little thought the trial would come when it did . [You]4985-you see , Saturday night is a leisure night in [counting - houses]4986-counting - houses and such - like places , while it 's the busiest of all for [servants]831-servants . Well ! it was a Saturday night , and [I]148-sally 'd [my]148-sally baize apron on , and the tails of [my]148-sally bed - gown pinned together behind , down on [my]148-sally knees , pipeclaying [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , when a knock comes to the back door . ' Come in ! ' says [I]148-sally ; but it knocked again , as if it were too stately to open the door for [itself]4989-itself ; so [I]148-sally got up , rather cross , and opened the door ; and there stood [Jerry Dixon]173-jerry dixon , [[Mr Holt]174-mr holt 's head clerk]4990-mr holt 's head clerk ; only [he]173-jerry dixon was not [head clerk]4991-head clerk then . So [I]148-sally stood , stopping up the door , fancying [he]173-jerry dixon wanted to speak to [master]4301-master ; but [he]173-jerry dixon kind of pushed past [me]148-sally , and telling [me]148-sally summut about the weather ( as if [I]148-sally could not see it for [myself]148-sally ) , [he]173-jerry dixon took a chair , and sat down by the oven . ' Cool and easy ! ' thought [I]148-sally ; meaning hisself , not [[his]173-jerry dixon place]4993-his place , which [I]148-sally knew must be pretty hot . Well ! it seemed no use standing waiting for [[my]148-sally gentleman]4994-my gentleman to go ; not that [he]173-jerry dixon had much to say either ; but [he]173-jerry dixon kept twirling [his]173-jerry dixon hat round and round , and smoothing the nap on't with the back of [his]173-jerry dixon hand . So at last [I]148-sally squatted down to [my]148-sally work , and thinks [I]148-sally , [I]148-sally shall be on [my]148-sally knees all ready if [he]173-jerry dixon puts up a prayer , for [I]148-sally knew [he]173-jerry dixon was [a Methodee by bringing - up]4995-a methodee by bringing - up , and had only lately turned to [master]4301-master 's way of thinking ; and [them Methodees]4997-them methodees are terrible hands at unexpected prayers when one least looks for ['em]4998-'em . [I]148-sally ca n't say [I]148-sally like [their]4997-them methodees way of taking one by surprise , as it were ; but then [I]148-sally 'm [[a parish clerk]4896-a parish clerk 's daughter]4897-a parish clerk 's daughter , and could never demean [myself]148-sally to dissenting fashions , always save and except [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan 's , bless [him]173-jerry dixon . However , [I]148-sally 'd been caught once or twice unawares , so this time [I]148-sally thought [I]148-sally 'd be up to it , and [I]148-sally moved a dry duster wherever [I]148-sally went , to kneel upon in case [he]173-jerry dixon began when [I]148-sally were in [a wet place]5001-a wet place . By - and - by [I]148-sally thought , if [the man]5002-the man would pray it would be a blessing , for it would prevent [his]5002-the man sending [his]5002-the man eyes after [me]148-sally wherever [I]148-sally went ; for when [they]5002-the man takes to praying [they]5002-the man shuts [their]5002-the man eyes , and quivers th ' lids in a queer kind o ' way -- [them]5002-the man [Dissenters]5003-dissenters does . [I]148-sally can speak pretty plain to [you]5004-you , for [you]5004-you 're bred in the Church like [mysel]148-sally ' , and must find it as out o ' the way as [I]148-sally do to be among [dissenting folk]5005-dissenting folk . God forbid [I]148-sally should speak disrespectful of [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan and [Miss Faith]164-miss faith , though ; [I]148-sally never think on [them]5002-the man as Church or [Dissenters]5003-dissenters , but just as [Christians]5007-christians . But to come back to [Jerry]173-jerry dixon . First , [I]148-sally tried always to be cleaning at [his]173-jerry dixon back ; but when [he]173-jerry dixon wheeled round , so as always to face [me]148-sally , [I]148-sally thought [I]148-sally 'd try a different game . So , says [I]148-sally , ' [Master Dixon]175-master dixon , [I]148-sally ax [your]173-jerry dixon pardon , but [I]148-sally must pipeclay under [your]173-jerry dixon chair . Will [you]173-jerry dixon please to move ? ' Well , [he]173-jerry dixon moved ; and by - and - by [I]148-sally was at [him]173-jerry dixon again with the same words ; and at after that , again and again , till [he]173-jerry dixon were always moving about wi ' [his]173-jerry dixon chair behind [him]173-jerry dixon , like a snail as carries its house on its back . And the great gaupus never seed that [I]148-sally were pipeclaying the same places twice over . At last [I]148-sally got desperate cross , [he]173-jerry dixon were so in [my]148-sally way ; so [I]148-sally made two big crosses on the tails of [his]173-jerry dixon brown coat ; for [you]5008-you see , whenever [he]173-jerry dixon went , up or down , [he]173-jerry dixon drew out the tails of [his]173-jerry dixon coat from under [him]173-jerry dixon , and stuck them through the bars of the chair ; and flesh and blood could not resist pipeclaying them for [him]173-jerry dixon ; and a pretty brushing [he]173-jerry dixon 'd have , [I]148-sally reckon , to get it off again . Well ! at length [he]173-jerry dixon clears [his]173-jerry dixon throat uncommon loud ; so [I]148-sally spreads [my]148-sally duster , and shuts [my]148-sally eyes all ready ; but when nought comed of it , [I]148-sally opened [my]148-sally eyes a little bit to see what [he]173-jerry dixon were about . [My]148-sally word ! if there [he]173-jerry dixon was n't down on [his]173-jerry dixon knees right facing [me]148-sally , staring as hard as [he]173-jerry dixon could . Well ! [I]148-sally thought it would be hard work to stand that , if [he]173-jerry dixon made a long ado ; so [I]148-sally shut [my]148-sally eyes again , and tried to think serious , as became what [I]148-sally fancied were coming ; but , forgive [me]148-sally ! but [I]148-sally thought why could n't [the fellow]5009-the fellow go in and pray wi ' [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , as had always [a calm spirit ready for prayer]5010-a calm spirit ready for prayer , instead o ' [me]148-sally , who had [my]148-sally dresser to scour , let alone an apron to iron . At last [he]173-jerry dixon says , says [he]173-jerry dixon , ' [Sally]148-sally ! will [you]148-sally oblige [me]148-sally with [your]148-sally hand ? ' So [I]148-sally thought it were , maybe , [Methodee]176-methodee fashion to pray hand in hand ; and [I]148-sally 'll not deny but [I]148-sally wished [I]148-sally 'd washed it better after black - leading the kitchen fire . [I]148-sally thought [I]148-sally 'd better tell [him]173-jerry dixon [it]5011-it were not so clean as [I]148-sally could wish , so says [I]148-sally , ' [Master Dixon]175-master dixon , [you]173-jerry dixon shall have it , and welcome , if [I]148-sally may just go and wash ['em]5011-it first . ' But , says [he]173-jerry dixon , ' [[My]148-sally dear]4145-my dear [Sally]148-sally , dirty or clean it 's all the same to [me]148-sally , seeing [I]148-sally 'm only speaking in a figuring way . What [I]148-sally 'm asking on [my]148-sally bended knees is , that [you]148-sally 'd please to be so kind as to be [[my]148-sally wedded wife]5013-my wedded wife ; week after next will suit [me]148-sally , if it 's agreeable to [you]148-sally ! ' [My]148-sally word ! [I]148-sally were up on [my]148-sally feet in an instant ! It were odd now , were n't it ? [I]148-sally never thought of taking [the fellow]5009-the fellow , and getting married ; for all , [I]148-sally 'll not deny , [I]148-sally had been thinking it would be agreeable to be axed . But all at once , [I]148-sally could n't abide [the chap]5015-the chap . ' [Sir]4181-sir , ' says [I]148-sally , trying to look shame - faced as became the occasion , but for all that , feeling a twittering round [my]148-sally mouth that [I]148-sally were afeard might end in a laugh--'Master [Dixon]175-master dixon , [I]148-sally 'm obleeged to [you]175-master dixon for the compliment , and thank [ye]175-master dixon all the same , but [I]148-sally think [I]148-sally 'd prefer a single life . ' [He]175-master dixon looked mighty taken aback ; but in a minute [he]175-master dixon cleared up , and was as sweet as ever . [He]175-master dixon still kept on [his]175-master dixon knees , and [I]148-sally wished [he]175-master dixon 'd take [himself]175-master dixon up ; but , [I]148-sally reckon , [he]175-master dixon thought it would give force to [his]175-master dixon words ; says [he]175-master dixon , ' Think again , [[my]148-sally dear]4145-my dear [Sally]148-sally . [I]148-sally 've [a four - roomed house]5018-a four - roomed house , and furniture conformable ; and eighty pound a year . [You]148-sally may never have such a chance again . ' There were truth enough in that , but it was not pretty in [the man]5002-the man to say it ; and it put [me]148-sally up a bit . ' As for that , neither [you]175-master dixon nor [I]148-sally can tell , [Master Dixon]175-master dixon . [You]175-master dixon 're not the first chap as [I]148-sally 've had down on [his]175-master dixon knees afore [me]148-sally , axing [me]148-sally to marry [him]175-master dixon ( [you]175-master dixon see [I]148-sally were thinking of [John Rawson]172-john rawson , only [I]148-sally thought there were no need to say [he]172-john rawson were on all fours -- it were truth [he]172-john rawson were on [his]172-john rawson knees , [you]175-master dixon know ) , and maybe [you]175-master dixon 'll not be the last . Anyhow , [I]148-sally 've no wish to change [my]148-sally condition just now . ' ' [I]148-sally 'll wait till Christmas , ' says [he]175-master dixon . ' [I]148-sally 've a pig as will be ready for killing then , so [I]148-sally must get married before that . ' Well now ! would [you]175-master dixon believe it ? the pig were a temptation . [I]148-sally 'd a receipt for curing hams , as [Miss Faith]164-miss faith would never let [me]148-sally try , saying the old way were good enough . However , [I]148-sally resisted . Says [I]148-sally , very stern , because [I]148-sally felt [I]148-sally 'd been wavering , ' [Master Dixon]175-master dixon , once for all , pig or no pig , [I]148-sally 'll not marry [you]175-master dixon . And if [you]175-master dixon 'll take [my]148-sally advice , [you]175-master dixon 'll get up off [your]175-master dixon knees . The flags is but damp yet , and it would be an awkward thing to have rheumatiz just before winter . ' With that [he]175-master dixon got up , stiff enough . [He]175-master dixon looked as sulky a chap as ever [I]148-sally clapped eyes on . And as [he]175-master dixon were so black and cross , [I]148-sally thought [I]148-sally 'd done well ( whatever came of the pig ) to say ' No ' to [him]175-master dixon . ' [You]148-sally may live to repent this , ' says [he]175-master dixon , very red . ' But [I]148-sally 'll not be too hard upon [ye]148-sally , [I]148-sally 'll give [you]148-sally another chance . [I]148-sally 'll let [you]148-sally have the night to think about it , and [I]148-sally 'll just call in to hear [your]148-sally second thoughts , after chapel to - morrow . ' Well now ! did ever [you]148-sally hear the like ? But that is the way with [all of [them]5020-all of them men men]5020-all of them men , thinking so much of theirselves , and that it 's but ask and have . [They]5020-all of them men 've never had [me]148-sally , though ; and [I]148-sally shall be sixty - one next [Martinmas]177-martinmas , so there 's not much time left for [them]5020-all of them men to try [me]148-sally , [I]148-sally reckon . Well ! when [Jeremiah]173-jerry dixon said that , [he]175-master dixon put [me]148-sally up more than ever , and [I]148-sally says , ' [My]148-sally first thoughts , second thoughts , and third thoughts is all one and the same ; [you]173-jerry dixon 've but tempted [me]148-sally once , and that was when [you]173-jerry dixon spoke of [your]173-jerry dixon pig . But of [yoursel]148-sally ' [you]148-sally 're nothing to boast on , and so [I]148-sally 'll bid [you]148-sally good night , and [I]148-sally 'll keep [my]148-sally manners , or else , if [I]148-sally told the truth , [I]148-sally should say it had been a great loss of time listening to [you]148-sally . But [I]148-sally 'll be civil -- so good night . ' [He]175-master dixon never said a word , but went off as black as thunder , slamming the door after [him]175-master dixon . [The master]5021-the master called [me]148-sally in to prayers , but [I]148-sally ca n't say [I]148-sally could put [my]148-sally mind to [them]5022-them , for [my]148-sally heart was beating so . However , it was a comfort to have had an offer of holy matrimony ; and though it flustered [me]148-sally , it made [me]148-sally think more of [myself]148-sally . In the night , [I]148-sally began to wonder if [I]148-sally 'd not been cruel and hard to [him]175-master dixon . [You]148-sally see , [I]148-sally were feverish - like ; and the old song of [Barbary Allen]178-barbary allen would keep running in [my]148-sally head , and [I]148-sally thought [I]148-sally were [Barbary]178-barbary allen , and [he]175-master dixon were young [Jemmy Gray]179-jemmy gray , and that maybe [he]175-master dixon 'd die for love of [me]148-sally ; and [I]148-sally pictured [him]175-master dixon to [mysel]5023-mysel ' , lying on [his]175-master dixon death - bed , with [his]175-master dixon face turned to the wall , ' wi ' deadly sorrow sighing , ' and [I]148-sally could ha ' pinched [mysel]5023-mysel ' for having been so like [cruel Barbary Allen]178-barbary allen . And when [I]148-sally got up next day , [I]148-sally found it hard to think on the real [Jerry Dixon]173-jerry dixon [I]148-sally had seen the night before , apart from the sad and sorrowful [Jerry]173-jerry dixon [I]148-sally thought on a - dying , when [I]148-sally were between sleeping and waking . And for many a day [I]148-sally turned sick , when [I]148-sally heard the passing bell , for [I]148-sally thought it were the bell loud - knelling which were to break [my]148-sally heart wi ' a sense of what [I]148-sally 'd missed in saying ' No ' to [Jerry]173-jerry dixon , and so killing [him]173-jerry dixon with cruelty . But in less than a three week , [I]148-sally heard parish bells a - ringing merrily for a wedding ; and in the course of a morning , [some one]378-some one says to [me]148-sally , ' Hark ! how the bells is ringing for [Jerry Dixon]173-jerry dixon 's wedding ! ' And , all on a sudden , [he]173-jerry dixon changed back again from [a heart - broken young fellow , like [Jemmy Gray]179-jemmy gray]5025-a heart - broken young fellow , like jemmy gray , into [a stout , middle - aged man]5026-a stout , middle - aged man , ruddy - complexioned , with a wart on [his]173-jerry dixon left cheek like life ! "[148-sally] [Sally]148-sally waited for some exclamation at the conclusion of [her]148-sally tale ; but receiving none , [she]148-sally stepped softly to the bedside , and there lay [Ruth]81-ruth , peaceful as death , with [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby on [her]81-ruth breast . " [I]148-sally thought [I]148-sally 'd lost some of [my]148-sally gifts if [I]148-sally could not talk a body to sleep , "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally , in a satisfied and self - complacent tone . [Youth]180-youth is strong and powerful , and makes a hard battle against sorrow . So [Ruth]81-ruth strove and strengthened , and [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby flourished accordingly ; and before [the little celandines]2023-the little celandines were out on the hedge - banks , or the white violets had sent forth [their]2023-the little celandines fragrance from the border under the south wall of [[Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's small garden]2024-miss benson 's small garden , [Ruth]81-ruth was able to carry [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby into [that sheltered place]2026-that sheltered place on sunny days . [She]81-ruth often wished to thank [Mr Benson]143-mr benson and [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , but [she]81-ruth did not know how to tell the deep gratitude [she]81-ruth felt , and therefore [she]81-ruth was silent . But [they]2028-they understood [her]81-ruth silence well . One day , as [she]81-ruth watched [[her]81-ruth sleeping child]2029-her sleeping child , [she]81-ruth spoke to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , with whom [she]81-ruth happened to be alone . " Do [you]143-mr benson know of [any cottage where [the people]460-the people are clean , and where [they]460-the people would not mind taking [me]81-ruth in]5027-any cottage where the people are clean , and where they would not mind taking me in ? "[81-ruth] asked [she]81-ruth . " Taking [you]143-mr benson in ! What do [you]143-mr benson mean ? "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , dropping [her]81-ruth knitting , in order to observe [Ruth]81-ruth more closely . " [I]81-ruth mean , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , " where [I]81-ruth might lodge with [[my]81-ruth baby]5029-my baby -- [any very poor place]5030-any very poor place would do , only [it]5030-any very poor place must be clean , or [he]5029-my baby might be ill . "[81-ruth] " And what in [the world]506-the world do [you]143-mr benson want to go and lodge in [a cottage]5032-a cottage for ? "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , indignantly . [Ruth]81-ruth did not lift up [her]81-ruth eyes , but [she]81-ruth spoke with a firmness which showed that [she]81-ruth had considered the subject . " [I]81-ruth think [I]81-ruth could make dresses . [I]81-ruth know [I]81-ruth did not learn as much as [I]81-ruth might , but perhaps [I]81-ruth might do for [servants]831-servants , and [people who are not particular]5034-people who are not particular . "[81-ruth] " [Servants]831-servants are as particular as [any one]425-any one , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , glad to lay hold of the first objection that [she]81-ruth could . " Well ! [somebody who would be patient with [me]81-ruth]5037-somebody who would be patient with me , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " [Nobody]5038-nobody is [patient over an ill - fitting gown]5039-patient over an ill - fitting gown , "[81-ruth] put in [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " There 's the stuff spoilt , and what not ! "[81-ruth] " Perhaps [I]81-ruth could find plain work to do , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , very meekly . " That [I]81-ruth can do very well ; [mamma]4143-mamma taught [me]81-ruth , and [I]81-ruth liked to learn from [her]4143-mamma . If [you]143-mr benson would be so good , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , [you]143-mr benson might tell [people]322-people [I]81-ruth could do plain work very neatly , and punctually , and cheaply . "[81-ruth] " [You]143-mr benson 'd get sixpence a day , perhaps , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , " and who would take care of [baby]4477-baby , [I]143-mr benson should like to know ? Prettily [he]4477-baby 'd be neglected , would not [he]4477-baby ? Why , [he]4477-baby 'd have the croup and the typhus fever in no time , and be burnt to ashes after . "[143-mr benson] " [I]2030-he have thought of all . Look how [he]2030-he sleeps ! Hush , [darling]4344-darling ; "[2030-he] for just at this point [he]2030-he began to cry , and to show [his]2030-he determination to be awake , as if in contradiction to [[his]2030-he mother]655-his mother 's words . [Ruth]81-ruth took [him]2030-he up , and carried [him]2030-he about [the room]357-the room while [she]81-ruth went on speaking . " Yes , just now [I]81-ruth know [he]2030-he will not sleep ; but very often [he]2030-he will , and in the night [he]2030-he always does . "[81-ruth] " And so [you]2030-he 'd work in the night and kill [yourself]2030-he , and leave [[your]2030-he poor baby]5044-your poor baby [an orphan]4231-an orphan . [Ruth]81-ruth ! [I]143-mr benson 'm ashamed of [you]81-ruth . Now , [brother]4681-brother "[143-mr benson] ( [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had just come in ) , " is not this too bad of [Ruth]81-ruth ; here [she]81-ruth is planning to go away and leave [us]5047-us , just as [we]5047-us -- as [I]143-mr benson , at least , have grown so fond of [baby]4477-baby , and [he]2030-he 's beginning to know [me]143-mr benson . "[143-mr benson] " Where were [you]81-ruth thinking of going to , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[143-mr benson] interrupted [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , with mild surprise . " Anywhere to be near [you]81-ruth and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ; in [any poor cottage where [I]143-mr benson might lodge very cheaply , and earn [my]143-mr benson livelihood by taking in plain sewing , and perhaps a little dressmaking]5049-any poor cottage where i might lodge very cheaply , and earn my livelihood by taking in plain sewing , and perhaps a little dressmaking ; and where [I]143-mr benson could come and see [you]81-ruth and dear [Miss Benson]143-mr benson sometimes and bring [baby]4477-baby . "[143-mr benson] " If [he]4477-baby was not dead before then of some fever , or burn , or scald , [poor neglected child]5051-poor neglected child ; or [you]81-ruth had not worked [yourself]81-ruth to death with never sleeping , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson thought a minute or two , and then [he]143-mr benson spoke to [Ruth]81-ruth . " Whatever [you]81-ruth may do when [this little fellow]5052-this little fellow is a year old , and able to dispense with some of [a mother]1536-a mother 's care , let [me]143-mr benson beg [you]81-ruth , [Ruth]81-ruth , as a favour to [me]143-mr benson -- as a still greater favour to [[my]143-mr benson sister]5054-my sister , is it not , [Faith]164-miss faith ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes ; [you]143-mr benson may put it so if [you]81-ruth like . "[143-mr benson] " To stay with [us]5055-we , "[143-mr benson] continued [he]143-mr benson , " till then . When [baby]4477-baby is twelve months old , [we]5055-we 'll talk about it again , and very likely before then some opening may be shown [us]5055-we . Never fear leading an idle life , [Ruth]81-ruth . [We]5055-we 'll treat [you]81-ruth as [a daughter]5057-a daughter , and set [you]81-ruth all the household tasks ; and it is not for [your]81-ruth sake that [we]5055-we ask [you]81-ruth to stay , but for [this little dumb helpless child]5058-this little dumb helpless child 's ; and it is not for [our]5055-we sake that [you]81-ruth must stay , but for [his]5058-this little dumb helpless child . "[143-mr benson] [Ruth]81-ruth was sobbing . " [I]81-ruth do not deserve [your]143-mr benson kindness , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , in a broken voice ; " [I]81-ruth do not deserve it . "[81-ruth] [Her]81-ruth tears fell fast and soft like summer rain , but no further word was spoken . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson quietly passed on to make the inquiry for which [he]143-mr benson had entered [the room]357-the room . But when there was nothing to decide upon , and no necessity for entering upon any new course of action , [Ruth]81-ruth 's mind relaxed from its strung - up state . [She]81-ruth fell into trains of reverie , and mournful regretful recollections which rendered [her]81-ruth languid and tearful . This was noticed both by [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Sally]148-sally , and as [each]2034-each had keen sympathies , and felt depressed when [they]2034-each saw [any one near [them]2034-each]2035-any one near them depressed , and as [each]2034-each , without much reasoning on the cause or reason for such depression , felt irritated at the uncomfortable state into which [they]2034-each themselves were thrown , [they]2034-each both resolved to speak to [Ruth]81-ruth on the next fitting occasion . Accordingly , one afternoon -- the morning of that day had been spent by [Ruth]81-ruth in [housework]2037-housework , for [she]81-ruth had insisted on [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's words , and had taken [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's share of the more active and fatiguing household duties , but [she]81-ruth went through them heavily , and as if [her]81-ruth heart was far away -- in the afternoon when [she]81-ruth was nursing [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child , [Sally]148-sally , on coming into [the back parlour]4417-the back parlour , found [her]81-ruth there alone , and easily detected the fact that [she]81-ruth had been crying . " Where 's [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ? "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally , gruffly . " Gone out with [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , "[81-ruth] answered [Ruth]81-ruth , with an absent sadness in [her]81-ruth voice and manner . [Her]81-ruth tears , scarce checked while [she]81-ruth spoke , began to fall afresh ; and as [Sally]148-sally stood and gazed [she]148-sally saw [the babe]2040-the babe look back in [[his]2040-the babe mother]655-his mother 's face , and [his]2040-the babe little lip begin to quiver , and [his]2040-the babe open blue eye to grow over - clouded , as with some mysterious sympathy with the sorrowful face bent over [him]2040-the babe . [Sally]148-sally took [him]2040-the babe briskly from [[his]2040-the babe mother]655-his mother 's arms ; [Ruth]81-ruth looked up in grave surprise , for in truth [she]81-ruth had forgotten [Sally]148-sally 's presence , and the suddenness of the motion startled [her]81-ruth . " [[My]81-ruth bonny boy]5059-my bonny boy ! are [they]5060-they letting the salt tears drop on [thy]5059-my bonny boy sweet face before [thou'rt]5059-my bonny boy weaned ! [Little somebody]5061-little somebody knows how to be [a mother]1536-a mother -- [I]81-ruth could make a better [myself]81-ruth . ' Dance , thumbkin , dance -- dance , [ye merry men every one]5063-ye merry men every one . ' Aye , that 's it ! smile , [[my]81-ruth pretty]5064-my pretty . [Any one but a child]5065-any one but a child like [thee]5059-my bonny boy , "[81-ruth] continued [she]81-ruth , turning to [Ruth]81-ruth , " would have known better than to bring ill - luck on [thy]5059-my bonny boy babby by letting tears fall on its face before it was weaned . But thou'rt not fit to have [a babby]4860-a babby , and so [I]81-ruth 've said many a time . [I]81-ruth 've a great mind to buy [thee]5059-my bonny boy a doll , and take [thy]5059-my bonny boy babby mysel ' . "[81-ruth] [Sally]148-sally did not look at [Ruth]81-ruth , for [she]148-sally was too much engaged in amusing [the baby]1144-the baby with the tassel of the string to the window - blind , or else [she]148-sally would have seen the dignity which [the mother]618-the mother 's soul put into [Ruth]81-ruth at that moment . [Sally]148-sally was quelled into silence by the gentle composure , the self - command over [her]148-sally passionate sorrow , which gave to [Ruth]81-ruth an unconscious grandeur of demeanour as [she]148-sally came up to [the old servant]782-the old servant . " Give [him]1144-the baby back to [me]148-sally , please . [I]148-sally did not know it brought ill - luck , or if [my]148-sally heart broke [I]148-sally would not have let a tear drop on [his]1144-the baby face -- [I]148-sally never will again . Thank [you]148-sally , [Sally]148-sally , "[148-sally] as [the servant]692-the servant relinquished [him]1144-the baby to [her]148-sally who came in the name of [a mother]1536-a mother . [Sally]148-sally watched [Ruth]81-ruth 's grave , sweet smile , as [she]148-sally followed up [Sally]148-sally 's play with the tassel , and imitated , with all the docility inspired by love , every movement and sound which had amused [[her]148-sally babe]2048-her babe . " [Thou'lt]5067-thou be [a mother]1536-a mother , after all , "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally , with a kind of admiration of the control which [Ruth]81-ruth was exercising over [herself]81-ruth . " But why talk of [thy]81-ruth heart breaking ? [I]81-ruth do n't question [thee]81-ruth about what 's past and gone ; but now [thou'rt]5067-thou wanting for nothing , nor [[thy]81-ruth child]4921-thy child either ; the time to come is [the Lord]4327-the lord 's , and in [His]4327-the lord hands ; and yet [thou]5067-thou goest about a - sighing and a - moaning in a way that [I]81-ruth ca n't stand or thole . "[81-ruth] " What do [I]81-ruth do wrong ? "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth ; " [I]81-ruth try to do all [I]81-ruth can . "[81-ruth] " Yes , in a way , "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally , puzzled to know how to describe [her]81-ruth meaning . " [Thou]5067-thou dost it -- but there 's a right and a wrong way of setting about everything -- and to [my]148-sally thinking , the right way is to take a thing up heartily , if it is only making a bed . Why ! dear ah [me]148-sally , making a bed may be done after a Christian fashion , [I]148-sally take it , or else what 's to come of such as [me]148-sally in [heaven]1252-heaven , who 've had little enough time on [earth]2018-earth for clapping [ourselves]5073-ourselves down on [our]5073-ourselves knees for set prayers ? When [I]148-sally was [a girl]1959-a girl , and wretched enough about [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , and the crook on [his]161-thurstan back which came of the fall [I]148-sally gave [him]161-thurstan , [I]148-sally took to praying and sighing , and giving up [the world]506-the world ; and [I]148-sally thought it were wicked to care for the flesh , so [I]148-sally made heavy puddings , and was careless about dinner and [the rooms]1057-the rooms , and thought [I]148-sally was doing [my]148-sally duty , though [I]148-sally did call [myself]148-sally [a miserable sinner]5077-a miserable sinner . But one night , [the old missus]5078-the old missus ( [[Master Thurstan]161-thurstan 's mother]5079-master thurstan 's mother ) came in , and sat down by [me]148-sally , as [I]148-sally was a - scolding [myself]148-sally , without thinking of what [I]148-sally was saying ; and , says [she]5078-the old missus , ' [Sally]148-sally ! what are [you]148-sally blaming [yourself]148-sally about , and groaning over ? [We]5080-we hear [you]148-sally in [the parlour]712-the parlour every night , and it makes [my]148-sally heart ache . ' ' Oh , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , ' says [I]148-sally , ' [I]148-sally 'm [a miserable sinner]5077-a miserable sinner , and [I]148-sally 'm travailing in the new birth . ' ' Was that the reason , ' says [she]5078-the old missus , ' why the pudding was so heavy to - day ? ' ' Oh , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , ' said [I]148-sally , ' if [you]4148-ma'am would not think of the things of the flesh , but trouble [yourself]4148-ma'am about [your]4148-ma'am immortal soul . ' And [I]148-sally sat a - shaking [my]148-sally head to think about [her]5078-the old missus soul . ' But , ' says [she]5078-the old missus , in [her]5078-the old missus sweet - dropping voice , ' [I]148-sally do try to think of [my]148-sally soul every hour of the day , if by that [you]148-sally mean trying to do the will of [God]104-leonard , but [we]5086-we 'll talk now about the pudding ; [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan could not eat it , and [I]148-sally know [you]148-sally 'll be sorry for that . ' Well ! [I]148-sally was sorry , but [I]148-sally did n't choose to say so , as [she]5078-the old missus seemed to expect [me]148-sally ; so says [I]148-sally , ' It 's a pity to see [children]1146-children brought up to care for things of the flesh ; ' and then [I]148-sally could have bitten [my]148-sally tongue out , for [the missus]5088-the missus looked so grave , and [I]148-sally thought of [[my]148-sally darling little lad]5089-my darling little lad pining for want of [his]5089-my darling little lad food . At last , says [she]5078-the old missus , ' [Sally]148-sally , do [you]148-sally think [God]104-leonard has put [us]5090-us into [the world]506-the world just to be selfish , and do nothing but see after [our]5090-us own souls ? or to help [one another]1373-one another with heart and hand , as [Christ]181-christ did to [all who wanted help]5093-all who wanted help ? ' [I]148-sally was silent , for , [you]148-sally see , [she]5078-the old missus puzzled [me]148-sally . So [she]5078-the old missus went on , ' What is that beautiful answer in [your]148-sally Church catechism , [Sally]148-sally ? ' [I]148-sally were pleased to hear [a Dissenter]5094-a dissenter , as [I]148-sally did not think would have done it , speak so knowledgeably about the catechism , and [she]5078-the old missus went on : ' "[148-sally] to do [my]0-i duty in that station of life unto which it shall please [God]104-leonard to call [me]0-i ; " well , [your]148-sally station is [a servant]5095-a servant , and it is as honourable as [a king]5096-a king 's , if [you]148-sally look at it right ; [you]148-sally are to help and serve [others]368-others in one way , just as [a king]5096-a king is to help [others]368-others in another . Now what way are [you]148-sally to help and serve , or to do [your]148-sally duty , in that station of life unto which it has pleased [God]104-leonard to call [you]148-sally ? Did it answer [God]104-leonard 's purpose , and serve [Him]104-leonard , when the food was unfit for [a child]556-a child to eat , and unwholesome for [any one]425-any one ? ' Well ! [I]148-sally would not give it up , [I]148-sally was so pig - headed about [my]148-sally soul ; so says [I]148-sally , ' [I]148-sally wish [folks]4966-folks would be content with locusts and wild honey , and leave [other folks]4835-other folks in peace to work out [their]4835-other folks salvation ; ' and [I]148-sally groaned out pretty loud to think of [missus]5104-missus 's soul . [I]148-sally often think since [she]148-sally smiled a bit at [me]148-sally ; but [she]148-sally said , ' Well , [Sally]148-sally , to - morrow , [you]148-sally shall have time to work out [your]148-sally salvation ; but as [we]5105-we have no locusts in [England]21-england , and [I]148-sally do n't think [they]4966-folks 'd agree with [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan if [we]5105-we had , [I]148-sally will come and make the pudding ; but [I]148-sally shall try and do it well , not only for [him]161-thurstan to like it , but because everything may be done in a right way or a wrong ; the right way is to do it as well as [we]5105-we can , as in [God]104-leonard 's sight ; the wrong is to do it in a self - seeking spirit , which either leads [us]5105-we to neglect it to follow out some device of [our]5105-we own for [our]5105-we own ends , or to give up too much time and thought to it both before and after the doing . ' Well ! [I]148-sally thought of all [old missus]5106-old missus 's words this morning , when [I]148-sally saw [you]148-sally making the beds . [You]148-sally sighed so , [you]148-sally could not half shake the pillows ; [your]148-sally heart was not in [your]148-sally work ; and yet it was the duty [God]104-leonard had set [you]148-sally , [I]148-sally reckon ; [I]148-sally know it 's not the work [parsons]5107-they preach about ; though [I]148-sally do n't think [they]5107-they go so far off the mark when [they]5107-they read , ' whatsoever [thy]5107-they hand findeth to do , that do with all [thy]5107-they might . ' Just try for a day to think of all the odd jobs as has to be done well and truly as in [God]104-leonard 's sight , not just slurred over anyhow , and [you]148-sally 'll go through them twice as cheerfully , and have no thought to spare for sighing or crying . "[148-sally] [Sally]148-sally bustled off to set on the kettle for tea , and felt half ashamed , in the quiet of [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , to think of the oration [she]148-sally had made in [the parlour]712-the parlour . But [she]148-sally saw with much satisfaction , that henceforward [Ruth]81-ruth nursed [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy with a vigour and cheerfulness that were reflected back from [him]2051-her boy ; and the household work was no longer performed with a languid indifference , as if life and duty were distasteful . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had [her]81-ruth share in this improvement , though [Sally]148-sally placidly took all the credit to [herself]148-sally . One day as [she]81-ruth and [Ruth]81-ruth sat together , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson spoke of [the child]565-the child , and thence went on to talk about [her]81-ruth own childhood . By degrees [they]2053-they spoke of education , and the book - learning that forms one part of it ; and the result was that [Ruth]81-ruth determined to get up early all through the bright summer mornings , to acquire the knowledge hereafter to be given to [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child . [Her]81-ruth mind was uncultivated , [her]81-ruth reading scant ; beyond the mere mechanical arts of education [she]81-ruth knew nothing ; but [she]81-ruth had a refined taste , and excellent sense and judgment to separate the true from the false . With these qualities , [she]81-ruth set to work under [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's directions . [She]81-ruth read in the early morning the books that [he]143-mr benson marked out ; [she]81-ruth trained [herself]81-ruth with strict perseverance to do all thoroughly ; [she]81-ruth did not attempt to acquire any foreign language , although [her]81-ruth ambition was to learn Latin , in order to teach it to [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy . Those summer mornings were happy , for [she]81-ruth was learning neither to look backwards nor forwards , but to live faithfully and earnestly in the present . [She]81-ruth rose while the hedge - sparrow was yet singing [his]143-mr benson _ rĂ©veillĂ© _ to [[his]143-mr benson mate]2056-his mate ; [she]81-ruth dressed and opened [her]81-ruth window , shading the soft - blowing air and the sunny eastern light from [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby . If [she]81-ruth grew tired , [she]81-ruth went and looked at [him]4737-her baby , and all [her]81-ruth thoughts were holy prayers for [him]4737-her baby . Then [she]81-ruth would gaze awhile out of the high upper window on to [the moorlands]2058-the moorlands , that swelled in waves one behind the other , in the grey , cool morning light . These were [her]81-ruth occasional relaxations , and after them [she]81-ruth returned with strength to [her]81-ruth work . CHAPTER XVII [Leonard]104-leonard 's Christening In [that body of [Dissenters]5003-dissenters to which [Mr Benson]143-mr benson belonged]2059-that body of dissenters to which mr benson belonged , it is not considered necessary to baptize [infants]2061-infants as early as the ceremony can be performed ; and many circumstances concurred to cause the solemn thanksgiving and dedication of [the child]565-the child ( for so [these Dissenters]2063-these dissenters look upon christenings ) to be deferred until it was probably somewhere about six months old . There had been many conversations in [the little sitting - room]2064-the little sitting - room between [the brother and sister]1648-the brother and sister and [their]1648-the brother and sister _ protegĂ©e _ , which had consisted more of questions betraying a thoughtful wondering kind of ignorance on the part of [Ruth]81-ruth , and answers more suggestive than explanatory from [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ; while [Miss Benson]143-mr benson kept up a kind of running commentary , always simple and often quaint , but with that intuition into the very heart of all things truly religious which is often the gift of [those who seem , at first sight , to be only affectionate and sensible]2066-those who seem , at first sight , to be only affectionate and sensible . When [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had explained [his]143-mr benson own views of what a christening ought to be considered , and , by calling out [Ruth]81-ruth 's latent feelings into pious earnestness , brought [her]81-ruth into a right frame of mind , [he]143-mr benson felt that [he]143-mr benson had done what [he]143-mr benson could to make the ceremony more than a mere form , and to invest it , quiet , humble , and obscure as it must necessarily be in outward shape -- mournful and anxious as much of its antecedents had rendered it -- with the severe grandeur of an act done in faith and truth . It was not far to carry [the little one]2067-the little one , for , as [I]0-i said , [the chapel]1865-the chapel almost adjoined [[the minister]1835-the minister 's house]1836-the minister 's house . The whole procession was to have consisted of [Mr]2071-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , [Ruth]81-ruth carrying [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby , and [Sally]148-sally , who felt [herself]148-sally , as [a Church - of - England woman]2073-a church - of - england woman , to be condescending and kind in requesting leave to attend a baptism among " [them Dissenters]5108-them dissenters ; "[148-sally] but unless [she]148-sally had asked permission , [she]148-sally would not have been desired to attend , so careful was the habit of [[her]148-sally master]1699-her master and [mistress]2075-mistress that [she]148-sally should be allowed that freedom which [they]2076-they claimed for [themselves]2076-they . But [they]2076-they were glad [she]148-sally wished to go ; [they]2076-they liked the feeling that [all were of one household]2077-all were of one household , and that the interests of one were the interests of all . It produced a consequence , however , which [they]2076-they did not anticipate . [Sally]148-sally was full of the event which [her]148-sally presence was to sanction , and , as it were , to redeem from the character of being utterly schismatic ; [she]148-sally spoke about it with an air of patronage to three or four , and among [them]2076-they to [some of [the servants at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's]2079-the servants at mr bradshaw 's]2078-some of the servants at mr bradshaw 's . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was rather surprised to receive a call from [Jemima Bradshaw]217-jemima , on the very morning of the day on which [little Leonard]104-leonard was to be baptized ; [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw was rosy and breathless with eagerness . Although [the second in [the family]693-the family]2080-the second in the family , [she]148-sally had been at [school]680-school when [[her]148-sally younger sisters]2083-her younger sisters had been christened , and [she]148-sally was now come , in the full warmth of [a girl]1959-a girl 's fancy , to ask if [she]148-sally might be present at the afternoon 's service . [She]148-sally had been struck with [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's grace and beauty at the very first sight , when [she]148-sally had accompanied [[her]148-sally mother]710-her mother to call upon [the Bensons]157-the bensons on [their]157-the bensons return from [Wales]22-wales ; and had kept up an enthusiastic interest in [the widow]2086-the widow only a little older than [herself]148-sally , whose very reserve and retirement but added to [her]148-sally unconscious power of enchantment . " Oh , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ! [I]143-mr benson never saw a christening ; [papa]4310-papa says [I]143-mr benson may go , if [you]143-mr benson think [Mr Benson]143-mr benson and [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh would not dislike it ; and [I]143-mr benson will be quite quiet , and sit up behind the door , or anywhere ; and [that sweet little baby]5110-that sweet little baby ! [I]143-mr benson should so like to see [him]5110-that sweet little baby christened ; is [he]5110-that sweet little baby to be called [Leonard]104-leonard , did [you]143-mr benson say ? After [Mr Denbigh]183-mr denbigh , is it ? "[143-mr benson] " No -- not exactly , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , rather discomfited . " Was not [Mr Denbigh]183-mr denbigh 's name [Leonard]104-leonard , then ? [Mamma]113-mamma thought it would be sure to be called after [him]5110-that sweet little baby , and so did [I.]113-mamma But [I]143-mr benson may come to the christening , may [I]143-mr benson not , dear [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ? "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson gave [her]2087-her consent with a little inward reluctance . Both [[her]2087-her brother]982-her brother and [Ruth]81-ruth shared in this feeling , although [no one]517-no one expressed it ; and it was presently forgotten . [Jemima]217-jemima stood grave and quiet in [the old - fashioned vestry adjoining [the chapel]1865-the chapel]2090-the old - fashioned vestry adjoining the chapel , as [they]2092-they entered with steps subdued to slowness . [She]2087-her thought [Ruth]81-ruth looked so pale and awed because [she]81-ruth was left [a solitary parent]2093-a solitary parent ; but [Ruth]81-ruth came to the presence of [God]104-leonard , as one who had gone astray , and doubted [her]81-ruth own worthiness to be called [[His]104-leonard child]4766-his child ; [she]81-ruth came as [a mother who had incurred a heavy responsibility]2095-a mother who had incurred a heavy responsibility , and who entreated [His]104-leonard almighty aid to enable [her]81-ruth to discharge it ; full of passionate , yearning love which craved for more faith in [God]104-leonard , to still [her]81-ruth distrust and fear of the future that might hang over [[her]81-ruth darling]1704-her darling . When [she]81-ruth thought of [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy , [she]81-ruth sickened and trembled ; but when [she]81-ruth heard of [God]104-leonard 's loving - kindness , far beyond all tender [mother]4127-mother 's love , [she]81-ruth was hushed into peace and prayer . There [she]81-ruth stood , [her]81-ruth fair pale cheek resting on [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby 's head , as [he]4737-her baby slumbered on [her]81-ruth bosom ; [her]81-ruth eyes went slanting down under their half - closed white lids ; but [their]2100-their gaze was not on [the primitive cottage - like room]2101-the primitive cottage - like room , it was earnestly fixed on a dim mist , through which [she]81-ruth fain would have seen the life that lay before [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child ; but the mist was still and dense , too thick a veil for anxious human love to penetrate . The future was hid with [God]104-leonard . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson stood right under the casement window that was placed high up in [the room]357-the room ; [he]143-mr benson was almost in shade , except for one or two marked lights which fell on hair already silvery white ; [his]143-mr benson voice was always low and musical when [he]143-mr benson spoke to [few]2104-few ; it was too weak to speak so as to be heard by [many]652-many without becoming harsh and strange ; but now it filled [the little room]2106-the little room with a loving sound , like the stock - dove 's brooding murmur over [[her]81-ruth young]2107-her young . [He]143-mr benson and [Ruth]81-ruth forgot all in [their]2100-their earnestness of thought ; and when [he]143-mr benson said " Let [us]2100-their pray , "[143-mr benson] and [the little congregation]2108-the little congregation knelt down , [you]2109-you might have heard [the baby]1144-the baby 's faint breathing , scarcely sighing out upon the stillness , so absorbed were all in the solemnity . But the prayer was long ; thought followed thought , and fear crowded upon fear , and all were to be laid bare before [God]104-leonard , and [His]104-leonard aid and counsel asked . Before the end [Sally]148-sally had shuffled quietly out of [the vestry]2111-the vestry into [the green chapel - yard]2112-the green chapel - yard , upon which the door opened . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was alive to this movement , and so full of curiosity as to what it might mean that [she]148-sally could no longer attend to [[her]148-sally brother]982-her brother , and felt inclined to rush off and question [Sally]148-sally the moment all was ended . [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw hung about [the babe]2040-the babe and [Ruth]81-ruth , and begged to be allowed to carry [the child]565-the child [home]4124-home , but [Ruth]81-ruth pressed [him]565-the child to [her]151-mrs bradshaw , as if there was no safe harbour for [him]565-the child but in [[his]565-the child mother]655-his mother 's breast . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw [her]151-mrs bradshaw feeling , and caught [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's look of disappointment . " Come [home]4124-home with [us]5112-us , "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , " and stay to tea . [You]151-mrs bradshaw have never drank tea with [us]5112-us since [you]151-mrs bradshaw went to [school]680-school . "[143-mr benson] " [I]151-mrs bradshaw wish [I]151-mrs bradshaw might , "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , colouring with pleasure . " But [I]151-mrs bradshaw must ask [papa]4310-papa . May [I]151-mrs bradshaw run [home]4124-home and ask ? "[151-mrs bradshaw] " To be sure , [[my]217-jemima dear]4145-my dear ! "[217-jemima] [Jemima]217-jemima flew off ; and fortunately [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father was at [home]4124-home ; for [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother 's permission would have been deemed insufficient . [She]217-jemima received many directions about [her]217-jemima behaviour . " Take no sugar in [your]217-jemima tea , [Jemima]217-jemima . [I]217-jemima am sure [the Bensons]157-the bensons ought not to be able to afford sugar , with [their]157-the bensons means . And do not eat much ; [you]217-jemima can have plenty at [home]4124-home on [your]217-jemima return ; remember [[Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's keep]5118-mrs denbigh 's keep must cost [them]157-the bensons a great deal . "[217-jemima] So [Jemima]217-jemima returned considerably sobered , and very much afraid of [her]217-jemima hunger leading [her]217-jemima to forget [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's poverty . Meanwhile [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Sally]148-sally , acquainted with [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's invitation to [Jemima]217-jemima , set about making some capital tea - cakes on which [they]2121-they piqued [themselves]2121-they . [They]2121-they both enjoyed the offices of hospitality ; and were glad to place some home - made tempting dainty before [[their]2121-they guests]2122-their guests . " What made [ye]148-sally leave [the chapel - vestry]5119-the chapel - vestry before [[my]143-mr benson brother]4794-my brother had ended ? "[143-mr benson] inquired [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " Indeed , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [I]143-mr benson thought [master]4301-master had prayed so long [he]4794-my brother 'd be drouthy . So [I]143-mr benson just slipped out to put on the kettle for tea . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was on the point of reprimanding [her]148-sally for thinking of anything besides the object of the prayer , when [she]148-sally remembered how [she]148-sally [herself]148-sally had been unable to attend after [Sally]148-sally 's departure for wondering what had become of [her]148-sally ; so [she]148-sally was silent . It was a disappointment to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's kind and hospitable expectation when [Jemima]217-jemima , as hungry as a hound , confined [herself]217-jemima to one piece of the cake which [[her]217-jemima hostess]2123-her hostess had had such pleasure in making . And [Jemima]217-jemima wished [she]217-jemima had not a prophetic feeling all tea - time of the manner in which [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father would inquire into the particulars of the meal , elevating [his]411-her father eyebrows at every viand named beyond plain bread - and - butter , and winding up with some such sentence as this : " Well , [I]148-sally marvel how , with [Benson]143-mr benson 's salary , [he]143-mr benson can afford to keep such a table . "[148-sally] [Sally]148-sally could have told of self - denial when [no one]517-no one was by , when the left hand did not know what the right hand did , on the part of both [[her]148-sally master]1699-her master and [mistress]2075-mistress , practised without thinking even to [themselves]2128-themselves that it was either a sacrifice or a virtue , in order to enable [them]2128-themselves to help [those who were in need]2129-those who were in need , or even to gratify [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's kind , old - fashioned feelings on such occasions as the present , when [a stranger]2130-a stranger came to [the house]426-the house . [Her]217-jemima homely , affectionate pleasure in making [others]368-others comfortable , might have shown that such little occasional extravagances were not waste , but a good work ; and were not to be gauged by the standard of money - spending . This evening [her]217-jemima spirits were damped by [Jemima]217-jemima 's refusal to eat . [Poor Jemima]217-jemima ! the cakes were so good , and [she]217-jemima was so hungry ; but still [she]217-jemima refused . While [Sally]148-sally was clearing away the tea - things , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Jemima]217-jemima accompanied [Ruth]81-ruth [upstairs]1186-upstairs , when [she]148-sally went to put [little Leonard]104-leonard to bed . " A christening is a very solemn service , "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw ; " [I]151-mrs bradshaw had no idea it was so solemn . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson seemed to speak as if [he]143-mr benson had a weight of care on [his]143-mr benson heart that [God]104-leonard alone could relieve or lighten . "[151-mrs bradshaw] " [[My]143-mr benson brother]4794-my brother feels these things very much , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , rather wishing to cut short the conversation , for [she]151-mrs bradshaw had been aware of several parts in the prayer which [she]151-mrs bradshaw knew were suggested by the peculiarity and sadness of the case before [him]104-leonard . " [I]217-jemima could not quite follow [him]104-leonard all through , "[217-jemima] continued [Jemima]217-jemima ; " what did [he]104-leonard mean by saying , ' [This child]4684-this child , rebuked by [the world]506-the world and bidden to stand apart , [Thou]5126-thou wilt not rebuke , but wilt suffer it to come to [Thee]5126-thou and be blessed with Thine almighty blessing ' ? Why is [this little darling]5127-this little darling to be rebuked ? [I]217-jemima do not think [I]217-jemima remember the exact words , but [he]104-leonard said something like that . "[217-jemima] " [[My]217-jemima dear]4145-my dear ! [your]4145-my dear gown is dripping wet ! it must have dipped into the tub ; let [me]217-jemima wring it out . "[217-jemima] " Oh , thank [you]217-jemima ! Never mind [my]217-jemima gown ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , hastily , and wanting to return to [her]217-jemima question ; but just then [she]217-jemima caught the sight of tears falling fast down the cheeks of [the silent Ruth]2134-the silent ruth as [she]2134-the silent ruth bent over [[her]2134-the silent ruth child]631-her child , crowing and splashing away in [his]2134-the silent ruth tub . With a sudden consciousness that unwittingly [she]217-jemima had touched on some painful chord , [Jemima]217-jemima rushed into another subject , and was eagerly seconded by [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . The circumstance seemed to die away , and leave no trace ; but in after - years it rose , vivid and significant , before [Jemima]217-jemima 's memory . At present it was enough for [her]217-jemima , if [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh would let [her]217-jemima serve [her]217-jemima in every possible way . [Her]217-jemima admiration for beauty was keen , and little indulged at [home]4124-home ; and [Ruth]81-ruth was very beautiful in [her]81-ruth quiet mournfulness ; [her]81-ruth mean and homely dress left [herself]81-ruth only the more open to admiration , for [she]81-ruth gave [it]2137-it a charm by [her]81-ruth unconscious wearing of it that made it seem like the drapery of an old Greek statue -- subordinate to [the figure it covered , yet imbued by it with an unspeakable grace]2138-the figure it covered , yet imbued by it with an unspeakable grace . Then the pretended circumstances of [her]217-jemima life were such as to catch the imagination of [a young romantic girl]2139-a young romantic girl . Altogether , [Jemima]217-jemima could have kissed [her]81-ruth hand and professed [herself]217-jemima [[Ruth]81-ruth 's slave]2140-ruth 's slave . [She]81-ruth moved away all the articles used at [this little _ coucher _]2141-this little _ coucher _ ; [she]81-ruth folded up [Leonard]104-leonard 's day - clothes ; [she]81-ruth felt only too much honoured when [Ruth]81-ruth trusted [him]104-leonard to [her]81-ruth for a few minutes -- only too amply rewarded when [Ruth]81-ruth thanked [her]81-ruth with a grave , sweet smile , and a grateful look of [her]81-ruth loving eyes . When [Jemima]217-jemima had gone away with [the servant who was sent to fetch [her]217-jemima]2142-the servant who was sent to fetch her , there was a little chorus of praise . " [She]217-jemima 's [a warm - hearted girl]5129-a warm - hearted girl , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " [She]217-jemima remembers all the old days before [she]217-jemima went to [school]680-school . [She]217-jemima is worth two of [Mr Richard]149-mr bradshaw . [They]5131-they 're each of [them]5131-they just the same as [they]5131-they were when [they]5131-they were [children]1146-children , when [they]5131-they broke that window in [the chapel]1865-the chapel , and [he]149-mr bradshaw ran away [home]4124-home , and [she]217-jemima came knocking at [our]5135-our door , with a single knock , just like [a beggar]5136-a beggar 's , and [I]143-mr benson went to see who it was , and was quite startled to see [her]217-jemima round , brown , honest face looking up at [me]143-mr benson , half - frightened , and telling [me]143-mr benson what [she]217-jemima had done , and offering [me]143-mr benson the money in [[her]217-jemima savings bank]5137-her savings bank to pay for it . [We]5135-our never should have heard of [Master Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's share in the business if it had not been for [Sally]148-sally . "[143-mr benson] " But remember , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , " how strict [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw has always been with [[his]149-mr bradshaw children]5138-his children . It is no wonder if poor [Richard]149-mr bradshaw was [a coward]5139-a coward in those days . "[143-mr benson] " [He]149-mr bradshaw is now , or [I]143-mr benson 'm much mistaken , "[143-mr benson] answered [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " And [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was just as strict with [Jemima]217-jemima , and [she]217-jemima 's [no coward]5140-no coward . But [I]143-mr benson 've no faith in [Richard]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw has a look about [him]149-mr bradshaw that [I]143-mr benson do n't like . And when [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was away on business in [Holland]40-holland last year , for those months [[my]143-mr benson young gentleman]5141-my young gentleman did not come half as regularly to [chapel]1864-chapel , and [I]143-mr benson always believe that story of [his]149-mr bradshaw being seen out with the hounds at [Smithiles]41-smithiles . "[143-mr benson] " Those are neither of them great offences in [a young man of twenty]5143-a young man of twenty , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , smiling . " No ! [I]143-mr benson do n't mind [them]5144-them in [themselves]5144-them ; but when [he]149-mr bradshaw could change back so easily to being regular and mim when [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father came [home]4124-home , [I]143-mr benson do n't like that . "[143-mr benson] " [Leonard]104-leonard shall never be afraid of [me]81-ruth , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , following [her]81-ruth own train of thought . " [I]81-ruth will be [[his]104-leonard friend]5147-his friend from the very first ; and [I]81-ruth will try and learn how to be [a wise friend]5148-a wise friend , and [you]143-mr benson will teach [me]81-ruth , wo n't [you]143-mr benson , [sir]4181-sir ? "[81-ruth] " What made [you]81-ruth wish to call [him]104-leonard [Leonard]104-leonard , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " It was [[my]143-mr benson mother]4247-my mother 's father 's name ; and [she]4247-my mother used to tell [me]143-mr benson about [him]104-leonard and [his]104-leonard goodness , and [I]143-mr benson thought if [Leonard]104-leonard could be like [him--]104-leonard "[143-mr benson] " Do [you]81-ruth remember the discussion there was about [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's name , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ? [[Her]151-mrs bradshaw father]411-her father wanting [her]151-mrs bradshaw to be called [Hepzibah]185-hepzibah , but insisting that [she]151-mrs bradshaw was to have a Scripture name at any rate ; and [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw wanting [her]151-mrs bradshaw to be [Juliana]186-juliana , after some novel [she]151-mrs bradshaw had read not long before ; and at last [Jemima]217-jemima was fixed upon , because it would do either for a Scripture name or a name for [a heroine]5152-a heroine out of a book . "[143-mr benson] " [I]81-ruth did not know [Jemima]217-jemima was a Scripture name , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " Oh yes , it is . [One of [[Job]187-job 's daughters]5154-job 's daughters]5153-one of job 's daughters ; [Jemima]217-jemima , [Kezia]188-kezia , and [Keren - Happuch]189-keren - happuch . There are a good many Jemimas in [the world]506-the world , and [some Kezias]5156-some kezias , but [I]81-ruth never heard of [a Keren - Happuch]189-keren - happuch ; and yet [we]5157-we know just as much of [one as of another]5158-one as of another . [People]322-people really like a pretty name , whether in Scripture or out of it . "[81-ruth] " When there is no particular association with the name , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " Now , [I]143-mr benson was called [Faith]164-miss faith after the cardinal virtue ; and [I]143-mr benson like [my]143-mr benson name , though [many people]4163-many people would think it too [Puritan]190-puritan ; that was according to [[our]5157-we gentle mother]5161-our gentle mother 's pious desire . And [Thurstan]161-thurstan was called by [his]161-thurstan name because [[my]143-mr benson father]4925-my father wished it ; for , although [he]161-thurstan was what [people]322-people called [a radical]5164-a radical and a democrat in [his]161-thurstan ways of talking and thinking , [he]161-thurstan was very proud in [his]161-thurstan heart of being descended from [some old Sir Thurstan , who figured away in the French wars]191-some old sir thurstan , who figured away in the french wars . "[143-mr benson] " The difference between theory and practice , thinking and being , "[143-mr benson] put in [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , who was in a mood for allowing [himself]143-mr benson a little social enjoyment . [He]143-mr benson leant back in [his]143-mr benson chair , with [his]143-mr benson eyes looking at , but not seeing the ceiling . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was clicking away with [her]2143-her eternal knitting - needles , looking at [[her]2143-her brother]982-her brother , and seeing [him]982-her brother , too . [Ruth]81-ruth was arranging [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's clothes against the morrow . It was but [their]2146-their usual way of spending an evening ; the variety was given by the different tone which the conversation assumed on the different nights . Yet , somehow , the peacefulness of the time , the window open into [the little garden]1083-the little garden , the scents that came stealing in , and the clear summer heaven above , made the time be remembered as a happy festival by [Ruth]81-ruth . [Even Sally]148-sally seemed more placid than usual when [she]148-sally came in to prayers ; and [she]148-sally and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson followed [Ruth]81-ruth to [[her]81-ruth bedroom]788-her bedroom , to look at the beautiful sleeping [Leonard]104-leonard . " God bless [him]104-leonard ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , stooping down to kiss [his]631-her child little dimpled hand , which lay outside the coverlet , tossed abroad in the heat of the evening . " Now , do n't get up too early , [Ruth]81-ruth ! Injuring [your]81-ruth health will be short - sighted wisdom and poor economy . Good night ! "[143-mr benson] " Good night , dear [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . Good night , [Sally]148-sally . "[143-mr benson] When [Ruth]81-ruth had shut [her]81-ruth door , [she]81-ruth went again to the bed , and looked at [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy till [her]81-ruth eyes filled with tears . " God bless [thee]81-ruth , [darling]4344-darling ! [I]81-ruth only ask to be one of [His]104-leonard instruments , and not thrown aside as useless -- or worse than useless . "[81-ruth] So ended the day of [Leonard]104-leonard 's christening . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had sometimes taught [the children of different people]2150-the children of different people as an especial favour , when requested by [them]2150-the children of different people . But then [[his]143-mr benson pupils]2151-his pupils were only [children]1146-children , and by [their]2151-his pupils progress [he]143-mr benson was little prepared for [Ruth]81-ruth 's . [She]81-ruth had had early teaching , of that kind which need never be unlearnt , from [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother ; enough to unfold many of [her]81-ruth powers ; they had remained inactive now for several years , but had grown strong in the dark and quiet time . [[Her]81-ruth tutor]2154-her tutor was surprised at the bounds by which [she]81-ruth surmounted obstacles , the quick perception and ready adaptation of truths and first principles , and [her]81-ruth immediate sense of the fitness of things . [Her]81-ruth delight in what was strong and beautiful called out [[her]81-ruth master]1699-her master 's sympathy ; but , most of all , [he]1699-her master admired the complete unconsciousness of uncommon power , or unusual progress . It was less of a wonder than [he]1699-her master considered it to be , it is true , for [she]81-ruth never thought of comparing what [she]81-ruth was now with [her]81-ruth former self , much less with another . Indeed , [she]81-ruth did not think of [herself]81-ruth at all , but of [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy , and what [she]81-ruth must learn in order to teach [him]2051-her boy to be and to do as suited [her]81-ruth hope and [her]81-ruth prayer . If [any one]425-any one 's devotion could have flattered [her]81-ruth into self - consciousness , it was [Jemima]217-jemima 's . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw never dreamed that [[his]149-mr bradshaw daughter]2158-his daughter could feel [herself]2158-his daughter inferior to [the minister]1835-the minister 's _ protegĂ©e _ , but so it was ; and [no knight - errant of old]2160-no knight - errant of old could consider [himself]2160-no knight - errant of old more honoured by [[his]2160-no knight - errant of old ladye]2161-his ladye 's commands than did [Jemima]217-jemima , if [Ruth]81-ruth allowed [her]81-ruth to do anything for [her]81-ruth or for [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy . [Ruth]81-ruth loved [her]81-ruth heartily , even while [she]81-ruth was rather annoyed at the open expressions [Jemima]217-jemima used of admiration . " Please , [I]81-ruth really would rather not be told if [people]322-people do think [me]81-ruth pretty . "[81-ruth] " But it was not merely beautiful ; it was sweet - looking and good , [Mrs Postlethwaite]192-mrs postlethwaite called [you]81-ruth , "[217-jemima] replied [Jemima]217-jemima . " All the more [I]81-ruth would rather not hear it . [I]81-ruth may be pretty , but [I]81-ruth know [I]81-ruth am not good . Besides , [I]81-ruth do n't think [we]5167-we ought to hear what is said of [us]5167-we behind [our]5167-we backs . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth spoke so gravely , that [Jemima]217-jemima feared lest [she]217-jemima was displeased . " [Dear Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , [I]217-jemima never will admire or praise [you]217-jemima again . Only let [me]217-jemima love [you]217-jemima . "[217-jemima] " And let [me]81-ruth love [you]217-jemima ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , with a tender kiss . [Jemima]217-jemima would not have been allowed to come so frequently if [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had not been possessed with the idea of patronising [Ruth]81-ruth . If [the latter]1745-the latter had chosen , [she]217-jemima might have gone dressed from head to foot in the presents which [he]149-mr bradshaw wished to make [her]217-jemima , but [she]217-jemima refused them constantly ; occasionally to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's great annoyance . But if [he]149-mr bradshaw could not load [her]217-jemima with gifts , [he]149-mr bradshaw could show [his]149-mr bradshaw approbation by asking [her]217-jemima to [[his]149-mr bradshaw house]2164-his house ; and after some deliberation , [she]217-jemima consented to accompany [Mr]2165-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson [there]332-there . [The house]426-the house was square and massy - looking , with a great deal of drab - colour about the furniture . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , in [her]151-mrs bradshaw lackadaisical , sweet - tempered way , seconded [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband in [his]149-mr bradshaw desire of being kind to [Ruth]81-ruth ; and as [she]151-mrs bradshaw cherished privately a great taste for what was beautiful or interesting , as opposed to [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband 's love of the purely useful , this taste of [hers]151-mrs bradshaw had rarely had so healthy and true a mode of gratification as when [she]151-mrs bradshaw watched [Ruth]81-ruth 's movements about [the room]357-the room , which seemed in its unobtrusiveness and poverty of colour to receive the requisite ornament of light and splendour from [Ruth]81-ruth 's presence . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw sighed , and wished [she]151-mrs bradshaw had [a daughter as lovely , about whom to weave a romance]2171-a daughter as lovely , about whom to weave a romance ; for [castle - building]2172-castle - building , after the manner of the Minerva press , was the outlet by which [she]151-mrs bradshaw escaped from the pressure of [her]151-mrs bradshaw prosaic life , as [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's wife]2173-mr bradshaw 's wife . [Her]151-mrs bradshaw perception was only of external beauty , and [she]151-mrs bradshaw was not always alive to that , or [she]151-mrs bradshaw might have seen how a warm , affectionate , ardent nature , free from all envy or carking care of self , gave an unspeakable charm to [[her]151-mrs bradshaw plain , bright - faced daughter [Jemima]217-jemima , whose dark eyes kept challenging admiration for [[her]151-mrs bradshaw friend]431-her friend]2174-her plain , bright - faced daughter jemima , whose dark eyes kept challenging admiration for her friend . The first evening spent at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's passed like many succeeding visits [there]332-there . There was tea , the equipage for which was as handsome and as ugly as money could purchase . Then [the ladies]4136-the ladies produced [their]4136-the ladies sewing , while [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw stood before the fire , and gave [the assembled party]2178-the assembled party the benefit of [his]149-mr bradshaw opinions on many subjects . The opinions were as good and excellent as the opinions of [any man]2179-any man can be who sees one side of a case very strongly , and almost ignores the other . [They]2180-they coincided in many points with those held by [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , but [he]143-mr benson once or twice interposed with a plea for those who might differ ; and then [he]143-mr benson was heard by [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw with a kind of evident and indulgent pity , such as one feels for [a child who unwittingly talks nonsense]2181-a child who unwittingly talks nonsense . By - and - by , [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson fell into one _ tĂȘte Ă  tĂȘte _ , and [Ruth]81-ruth and [Jemima]217-jemima into another . [Two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children]2182-two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children were sent to bed early in the evening , in an authoritative voice , by [[their]2182-two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children father]2183-their father , because one of [them]2182-two well - behaved but unnaturally quiet children had spoken too loud while [he]2183-their father was enlarging on an alteration in the tariff . Just before the supper - tray was brought in , [a gentleman]1084-a gentleman was announced whom [Ruth]81-ruth had never previously seen , but who appeared well known to [the rest of [the party]2186-the party]2185-the rest of the party . It was [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's partner]2187-mr bradshaw 's partner ; [he]193-mr farquhar had been on [the Continent]42-the continent for the last year , and had only recently returned . [He]193-mr farquhar seemed perfectly at [home]4124-home , but spoke little . [He]193-mr farquhar leaned back in [his]193-mr farquhar chair , screwed up [his]193-mr farquhar eyes , and watched [everybody]505-everybody ; yet there was nothing unpleasant or impertinent in [his]193-mr farquhar keenness of observation . [Ruth]81-ruth wondered to hear [him]193-mr farquhar contradict [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , and almost expected some rebuff ; but [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , if [he]149-mr bradshaw did not yield the point , admitted , for the first time that evening , that it was possible something might be said on the other side . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar differed also from [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , but it was in a more respectful manner than [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had done . For these reasons , although [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had never spoken to [Ruth]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth came away with the impression that [he]193-mr farquhar was [a man to be respected , and perhaps liked]2190-a man to be respected , and perhaps liked . [Sally]148-sally would have thought [herself]148-sally mightily aggrieved if , on [their]2191-they return , [she]148-sally had not heard some account of the evening . As soon as [Miss Benson]143-mr benson came in , [the old servant]782-the old servant began : " Well , and who was there ? and what did [they]2191-they give [you]81-ruth for supper ? "[782-the old servant] " Only [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar besides [ourselves]2191-they ; and sandwiches , sponge - cake , and wine ; there was no occasion for anything more , "[143-mr benson] replied [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , who was tired and preparing to go [upstairs]1186-upstairs . " [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ! Why [they]2191-they do say [he]193-mr farquhar 's thinking of [Miss Jemima]217-jemima ! "[782-the old servant] " Nonsense , [Sally]148-sally ! why [he]193-mr farquhar 's old enough to be [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , half way up the first flight . " There 's no need for it to be called nonsense , though [he]193-mr farquhar may be ten year older , "[148-sally] muttered [Sally]148-sally , retreating towards [the kitchen]862-the kitchen . " [[Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's [Betsy]195-elizabeth]5169-bradshaw 's betsy knows what [she]5169-bradshaw 's betsy 's about , and would n't have said it for nothing . "[148-sally] [Ruth]81-ruth wondered a little about it . [She]81-ruth loved [Jemima]217-jemima well enough to be interested in what related to [her]217-jemima ; but , after thinking for a few minutes , [she]81-ruth decided that such a marriage was , and would ever be , very unlikely . CHAPTER XVIII [Ruth]81-ruth Becomes [a Governess]2195-a governess in [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's Family]2196-mr bradshaw 's family One afternoon , not long after this , [Mr]2197-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson set off to call upon [a farmer]728-a farmer , who attended [the chapel]1865-the chapel , but lived at some distance from [the town]396-the town . [They]2201-they intended to stay to tea if [they]2201-they were invited , and [Ruth]81-ruth and [Sally]148-sally were left to spend a long afternoon together . At first , [Sally]148-sally was busy in [[her]148-sally kitchen]1778-her kitchen , and [Ruth]81-ruth employed [herself]81-ruth in carrying [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby out into [the garden]783-the garden . It was now nearly a year since [she]81-ruth came to [the Bensons ']2205-the bensons ' ; it seemed like yesterday , and yet as if a lifetime had gone between . The flowers were budding now , that were all in bloom when [she]81-ruth came down , on the first autumnal morning , into [the sunny parlour]2206-the sunny parlour . The yellow jessamine , that was then a tender plant , had now taken firm root in the soil , and was sending out strong shoots ; the wall - flowers , which [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had sown on the wall a day or two after [her]81-ruth arrival , were scenting the air with their fragrant flowers . [Ruth]81-ruth knew every plant now ; it seemed as though [she]81-ruth had always lived [here]4172-here , and always known [the inhabitants of [the house]426-the house]2208-the inhabitants of the house . [She]81-ruth heard [Sally]148-sally singing [her]148-sally accustomed song in [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , a song [she]148-sally never varied over [her]148-sally afternoon 's work . It began , As [I]0-i was going to [Derby]43-derby , [sir]4181-sir , Upon a market - day . And if music is a necessary element in a song , perhaps [I]0-i had better call it by some other name . But the strange change was in [Ruth]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth was conscious of it though [she]81-ruth could not define it , and did not dwell upon it . Life had become significant and full of duty to [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth delighted in the exercise of [her]81-ruth intellectual powers , and liked the idea of the infinite amount of which [she]81-ruth was ignorant ; for it was a grand pleasure to learn -- to crave , and be satisfied . [She]81-ruth strove to forget what had gone before this last twelve months . [She]81-ruth shuddered up from contemplating it ; it was like a bad , unholy dream . And yet , there was a strange yearning kind of love for [the father of the child whom [she]81-ruth pressed to [her]81-ruth heart]2212-the father of the child whom she pressed to her heart , which came , and [she]81-ruth could not bid it begone as sinful , it was so pure and natural , even when thinking of it , as in the sight of [God]104-leonard . [Little Leonard]196-little leonard cooed to the flowers , and stretched after their bright colours ; and [Ruth]81-ruth laid [him]196-little leonard on the dry turf , and pelted [him]196-little leonard with the gay petals . [He]196-little leonard chinked and crowed with laughing delight , and clutched at [her]81-ruth cap , and pulled it off . [Her]81-ruth short rich curls were golden - brown in the slanting sunlight , and by their very shortness made [her]81-ruth look more child - like . [She]81-ruth hardly seemed as if [she]81-ruth could be [the mother of [the noble babe over whom [she]81-ruth knelt , now snatching kisses , now matching [his]196-little leonard cheek with rose - leaves]2214-the noble babe over whom she knelt , now snatching kisses , now matching his cheek with rose - leaves . All at once , the bells of [the old church]2215-the old church]2213-the mother of the noble babe over whom she knelt , now snatching kisses , now matching his cheek with rose - leaves . all at once , the bells of the old church struck the hour ; and far away , high up in the air , began slowly to play the old tune of " Life let [us]2216-us cherish ; "[2216-us] [they]2216-us had played it for years -- for the life of [man]661-man -- and it always sounded fresh and strange and aĂ«rial . [Ruth]81-ruth was still in a moment , [she]81-ruth knew not why ; and the tears came into [her]81-ruth eyes as [she]81-ruth listened . When it was ended , [she]81-ruth kissed [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby , and bade [God]104-leonard bless [him]4737-her baby . Just then [Sally]148-sally came out , dressed for the evening , with a leisurely look about [her]148-sally . [She]148-sally had done [her]148-sally work , and [she]148-sally and [Ruth]81-ruth were to drink tea together in [the exquisitely clean kitchen]2219-the exquisitely clean kitchen ; but while the kettle was boiling , [she]148-sally came out to enjoy the flowers . [She]148-sally gathered a piece of southern - wood , and stuffed it up [her]148-sally nose , by way of smelling it . " Whatten [you]81-ruth call this in [[your]81-ruth country]5170-your country ? "[148-sally] asked [she]148-sally . " [Old - man]5171-old - man , "[81-ruth] replied [Ruth]81-ruth . " [We]5172-we call it here lad's - love . It and peppermint - drops always remind [me]81-ruth of going to [church]4207-church in [the country]514-the country . [Here]4172-here ! [I]81-ruth 'll get [you]81-ruth a black - currant leaf to put in the teapot . It gives it a flavour . [We]5172-we had bees once against this wall ; but when [missus]5104-missus died , [we]5172-we forgot to tell ['em]5177-'em , and put ['em]5177-'em in mourning , and , in course , [they]5104-missus swarmed away without [our]5172-we knowing , and the next winter came a hard frost , and [they]5104-missus died . Now , [I]81-ruth dare say , the water will be boiling ; and it 's time for [little master there]5178-little master there to come in , for the dew is falling . See , all the daisies is shutting [themselves]5104-missus up . "[81-ruth] [Sally]148-sally was most gracious as [a hostess]2220-a hostess . [She]148-sally quite put on [her]148-sally company manners to receive [Ruth]81-ruth in [the kitchen]862-the kitchen . [They]2222-they laid [Leonard]104-leonard to sleep on the sofa in [the parlour]712-the parlour , that [they]2222-they might hear [him]104-leonard the more easily , and then [they]2222-they sat quietly down to [their]2222-they sewing by the bright kitchen fire . [Sally]148-sally was , as usual , [the talker]2224-the talker ; and , as usual , the subject was [the family of whom for so many years [she]148-sally had formed a part]2225-the family of whom for so many years she had formed a part . " Aye ! things was different when [I]148-sally was [a girl]1959-a girl , "[148-sally] quoth [she]148-sally . " Eggs was thirty for a shilling , and butter only sixpence a pound . [My]148-sally wage when [I]148-sally came [here]4172-here was but three pound , and [I]148-sally did on it , and was always clean and tidy , which is more than many [a lass]5181-a lass can say now who gets [her]5181-a lass seven and eight pound a year ; and tea was kept for an afternoon drink , and pudding was eaten afore meat in them days , and the upshot was , [people]322-people paid [their]322-people debts better ; aye , aye ! we'n gone backwards , and [we]5183-we thinken [we'n]5183-we gone forrards . "[148-sally] After shaking [her]148-sally head a little over the degeneracy of the times , [Sally]148-sally returned to a part of the subject on which [she]148-sally thought [she]148-sally had given [Ruth]81-ruth a wrong idea . " [You]148-sally 'll not go for to think now that [I]2226-i 've not more than three pound a year . [I]2226-i 've a deal above that now . First of all , [old missus]5106-old missus gave [me]2226-i four pound , for [she]5106-old missus said [I]2226-i were worth it , and [I]2226-i thought in [my]2226-i heart that [I]2226-i were ; so [I]2226-i took it without more ado ; but after [her]5106-old missus death , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan and [Miss Faith]164-miss faith took a fit of spending , and says [they]5185-they to [me]2226-i , one day as [I]2226-i carried tea in , ' [Sally]148-sally , [we]5185-they think [your]148-sally wages ought to be raised . ' ' What matter what [you]148-sally think ! ' said [I]2226-i , pretty sharp , for [I]2226-i thought [they]5185-they 'd ha ' shown more respect to [missus]197-missus if [they]5185-they 'd let things stand as they were in [her]197-missus time ; and [they]5185-they 'd gone and moved the sofa away from the wall to where it stands now , already that very day . So [I]2226-i speaks up sharp , and , says [I]2226-i , ' As long as [I]2226-i 'm content , [I]2226-i think it 's no business of [yours]148-sally to be meddling wi ' [me]2226-i and [my]2226-i money matters . ' ' But , ' says [Miss Faith]164-miss faith ( [she]164-miss faith 's always the one to speak first if [you]148-sally 'll notice , though it 's [master]4301-master that comes in and clinches the matter with some reason [she]164-miss faith 'd never [ha]5187-ha ' thought of -- [he]4301-master were always [a sensible lad]5188-a sensible lad ) , ' [Sally]148-sally , [all the servants in [the town]396-the town]5189-all the servants in the town have six pound and better , and [you]148-sally have as hard a place as any of ['em]5191-'em . ' ' Did [you]148-sally ever hear [me]2226-i grumble about [my]2226-i work that [you]148-sally talk about it in that way ? wait till [I]2226-i grumble , ' says [I]2226-i , ' but do n't meddle wi ' [me]2226-i till then . ' So [I]2226-i flung off in a huff ; but in the course of the evening , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan came in and sat down in [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , and [he]161-thurstan 's such winning ways [he]161-thurstan wiles one over to anything ; and besides , a notion had come into [my]2226-i head -- now , [you]81-ruth 'll not tell , "[2226-i] said [she]2226-i , glancing round [the room]357-the room , and hitching [her]2226-i chair nearer to [Ruth]81-ruth in a confidential manner ; [Ruth]81-ruth promised , and [Sally]148-sally went on : " [I]148-sally thought [I]148-sally should like to be [an heiress]5193-an heiress wi ' money , and leave it all to [Master]5194-master and [Miss Faith]164-miss faith ; and [I]148-sally thought if [I]148-sally 'd six pound a year [I]148-sally could , maybe , get to be [an heiress]5193-an heiress ; all [I]148-sally was feared on was that [some chap or other]5196-some chap or other might marry [me]148-sally for [my]148-sally money , but [I]148-sally 've managed to keep [the fellows]5197-the fellows off ; so [I]148-sally looks mim and grateful , and [I]148-sally thanks [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan for [his]161-thurstan offer , and [I]148-sally takes the wages ; and what do [you]81-ruth think [I]148-sally 've done ? "[148-sally] asked [Sally]148-sally , with an exultant air . " What have [you]148-sally done ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . " Why , "[148-sally] replied [Sally]148-sally , slowly and emphatically , " [I]148-sally 've saved thirty pound ! but that 's not it . [I]148-sally 've getten [a lawyer]5198-a lawyer to make [me]148-sally a will ; that 's it , [wench]5199-wench ! "[148-sally] said [she]148-sally , slapping [Ruth]81-ruth on the back . " How did [you]148-sally manage it ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth . " Aye , that was it , "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally ; " [I]2228-i thowt about it many a night before [I]2228-i hit on the right way . [I]2228-i was afeard the money might be thrown into Chancery , if [I]2228-i did n't make it all safe , and yet [I]2228-i could na ' ask [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan . At last and at length , [John Jackson]198-john jackson , [the grocer]5200-the grocer , had [a nephew]5201-a nephew come to stay a week with [him]198-john jackson , as was ' prentice to [a lawyer in [Liverpool]44-liverpool]5202-a lawyer in liverpool ; so now was [my]2228-i time , and here was [[my]2228-i lawyer]5203-my lawyer . Wait a minute ! [I]2228-i could tell [you]81-ruth [my]2228-i story better if [I]2228-i had [my]2228-i will in [my]2228-i hand ; and [I]2228-i 'll scomfish [you]81-ruth if ever [you]81-ruth go for to tell . "[2228-i] [She]2228-i held up [her]2228-i hand , and threatened [Ruth]81-ruth as [she]2228-i left [the kitchen]862-the kitchen to fetch the will . When [she]2228-i came back , [she]2228-i brought a parcel tied up in a blue pocket - handkerchief ; [she]2228-i sat down , squared [her]2228-i knees , untied the handkerchief , and displayed a small piece of parchment . " Now , do [you]81-ruth know what this is ? "[2228-i] said [she]2228-i , holding it up . " It 's parchment , and it 's the right stuff to make wills on . [People]322-people gets into [Chancery]45-chancery if [they]322-people do n't make [them]322-people o ' this stuff , and [I]2230-i reckon [Tom Jackson]199-tom thowt [he]199-tom 'd have a fresh job on it if [he]199-tom could get it into [Chancery]45-chancery ; for [the rascal]5205-the rascal went and wrote it on a piece of paper at first , and came and read it [me]2230-i out loud off a piece of paper no better than what [one]321-one writes letters upon . [I]2230-i were up to [him]199-tom ; and , thinks [I]2230-i , Come , come , [[my]2230-i lad]5207-my lad , [I]2230-i 'm not [a fool]5208-a fool , though [you]5207-my lad may think so ; [I]2230-i know a paper will wo n't stand , but [I]2230-i 'll let [you]5207-my lad run [your]5207-my lad rig . So [I]2230-i sits and [I]2230-i listens . And would [you]5207-my lad belie ' [me]2230-i , [he]199-tom read it out as if it were as clear a business as [your]5207-my lad giving [me]2230-i that thimble -- no more ado , though it were thirty pound ! [I]2230-i could understand it mysel'--that were no law for [me]2230-i . [I]2230-i wanted summat to consider about , and for th ' meaning to be wrapped up as [I]2230-i wrap up [my]2230-i best gown . So says [I]2230-i , ' [Tom]199-tom ! it 's not on parchment . [I]2230-i mun have it on parchment . ' ' This ' ill do as well , ' says [he]199-tom . ' [We]5209-we 'll get it witnessed , and it will stand good . ' Well ! [I]2230-i liked the notion of having it witnessed , and for a while that soothed [me]2230-i ; but after a bit , [I]2230-i felt [I]2230-i should like it done according to law , and not plain out as [anybody]5210-anybody might ha ' done it ; [I]2230-i mysel ' , if [I]2230-i could have written . So says [I]2230-i , ' [Tom]199-tom ! [I]2230-i mun have it on parchment . ' ' Parchment costs money , ' says [he]199-tom , very grave . ' Oh , oh , [[my]2230-i lad]5207-my lad ! are [ye]5207-my lad there ? ' thinks [I.]2230-i ' That 's the reason [I]2230-i 'm clipped of law . ' So says [I]2230-i , ' [Tom]199-tom ! [I]2230-i mun have it on parchment . [I]2230-i 'll pay the money and welcome . [It]5212-it 's thirty pound , and what [I]2230-i can lay to it . [I]2230-i 'll make it safe . It shall be on parchment , and [I]2230-i 'll tell [thee]5207-my lad what , [lad]5213-lad ! [I]2230-i 'll gie [ye]5207-my lad sixpence for every good law - word [you]5207-my lad put in it , sounding like , and not to be caught up as [a person]653-a person runs . [[Your]5207-my lad master]4834-your master had need to be ashamed of [you]5207-my lad as [a ' prentice]5216-a ' prentice if [you]5207-my lad ca n't do a thing more [tradesman]5217-tradesman - like than this ! ' Well ! [he]4834-your master laughed above a bit , but [I]2230-i were firm , and stood to it . So [he]4834-your master made it out on parchment . Now , [woman]5218-woman , try and read it ! "[2230-i] said [she]2230-i , giving it to [Ruth]81-ruth . [Ruth]81-ruth smiled , and began to read ; [Sally]148-sally listening with rapt attention . When [Ruth]81-ruth came to the word " testatrix , "[81-ruth] [Sally]148-sally stopped [her]81-ruth . " That was the first sixpence , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth . " [I]81-ruth thowt [he]4834-your master was going to fob [me]81-ruth off again wi ' plain language ; but when that word came , [I]81-ruth out wi ' [my]81-ruth sixpence , and gave it to [him]4834-your master on the spot . Now go on . "[81-ruth] Presently [Ruth]81-ruth read , " accruing . "[81-ruth] " That was the second sixpence . Four sixpences it were in all , besides six - and - eightpence as [we]5219-we bargained at first , and three - and - fourpence parchment . There ! that 's what [I]81-ruth call a will ; witnessed according to law , and all . [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan will be prettily taken in when [I]81-ruth die , and [he]161-thurstan finds all [his]161-thurstan extra wage left back to [him]161-thurstan . But it will teach [him]161-thurstan it 's not so easy as [he]161-thurstan thinks for , to make [a woman]834-a woman give up [her]834-a woman way . "[81-ruth] The time was now drawing near when [little Leonard]104-leonard might be weaned -- the time appointed by all three for [Ruth]81-ruth to endeavour to support [herself]81-ruth in some way more or less independent of [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson . This prospect dwelt much in all of [their]2231-they minds , and was in each shaded with some degree of perplexity ; but [they]2231-they [none of [them]2231-they]2232-none of them spoke of it for fear of accelerating the event . If [they]2231-they had felt clear and determined as to the best course to be pursued , [they]2231-they were none of [them]2231-they deficient in courage to commence upon that course at once . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson would , perhaps , have objected the most to any alteration in [their]2231-they present daily mode of life ; but that was because [she]81-ruth had the habit of speaking out [her]81-ruth thoughts as they arose , and [she]81-ruth particularly disliked and dreaded change . Besides this , [she]81-ruth had felt [her]81-ruth heart open out , and warm towards [the little helpless child]2233-the little helpless child , in a strong and powerful manner . [Nature]200-nature had intended [her]81-ruth warm instincts to find vent in [a mother]1536-a mother 's duties ; [her]81-ruth heart had yearned after [children]1146-children , and made [her]81-ruth restless in [her]81-ruth childless state , without [her]81-ruth well knowing why ; but now , the delight [she]81-ruth experienced in tending , nursing , and contriving for [the little boy]584-the little boy -- even contriving to the point of sacrificing many of [her]81-ruth cherished whims -- made [her]81-ruth happy and satisfied and peaceful . It was more difficult to sacrifice [her]81-ruth whims than [her]81-ruth comforts ; but all had been given up when and where required by [the sweet lordly baby , who reigned paramount in [his]584-the little boy very helplessness]2237-the sweet lordly baby , who reigned paramount in his very helplessness . From some cause or other , an exchange of [ministers]2238-ministers for one Sunday was to be effected with [a neighbouring congregation]2239-a neighbouring congregation , and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson went on a short absence from [home]4124-home . When [he]143-mr benson returned on Monday , [he]143-mr benson was met at [the house]426-the house - door by [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , who had evidently been looking out for [him]143-mr benson for some time . [She]4508-his sister stepped out to greet [him]143-mr benson . " Do n't hurry [yourself]143-mr benson , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ! all 's well ; only [I]4508-his sister wanted to tell [you]143-mr benson something . Do n't fidget [yourself]143-mr benson -- [baby]4477-baby is quite well , bless [him]4477-baby ! It 's only good news . Come into [[your]143-mr benson room]4566-your room , and let [me]4508-his sister talk a little quietly with [you]143-mr benson . "[4508-his sister] [She]4508-his sister drew [him]143-mr benson into [[his]143-mr benson study]1727-his study , which was near the outer door , and then [she]4508-his sister took off [his]143-mr benson coat , and put [his]143-mr benson carpet - bag in a corner , and wheeled a chair to the fire , before [she]4508-his sister would begin . " Well , now ! to think how often things fall out just as [we]5223-we want them , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ! Have not [you]143-mr benson often wondered what was to be done with [Ruth]81-ruth when the time came at which [we]5223-we promised [her]81-ruth [she]81-ruth should earn [her]81-ruth living ? [I]4508-his sister am sure [you]143-mr benson have , because [I]4508-his sister have so often thought about it [myself]4508-his sister . And yet [I]4508-his sister never dared to speak out [my]4508-his sister fear , because that seemed giving it a shape . And now [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw has put all to rights . [He]149-mr bradshaw invited [Mr Jackson]201-mr jackson to dinner yesterday , just as [we]5223-we were going into [chapel]1864-chapel ; and then [he]149-mr bradshaw turned to [me]4508-his sister and asked [me]4508-his sister if [I]4508-his sister would come to tea -- straight from [afternoon chapel]5225-afternoon chapel , because [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw wanted to speak to [me]4508-his sister . [He]149-mr bradshaw made it very clear [I]4508-his sister was not to bring [Ruth]81-ruth ; and , indeed , [she]81-ruth was only too happy to stay at [home]4124-home with [baby]4477-baby . And so [I]4508-his sister went ; and [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw took [me]4508-his sister into [[her]151-mrs bradshaw bedroom]788-her bedroom , and shut the doors , and said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had told [her]151-mrs bradshaw , that [he]149-mr bradshaw did not like [Jemima]217-jemima being so much confined with [the younger ones]5229-the younger ones while [they]5229-the younger ones were at [their]5229-the younger ones lessons , and that [he]149-mr bradshaw wanted [some one above [a nursemaid]5231-a nursemaid to sit with [them]5229-the younger ones while [[their]5229-the younger ones masters]5232-their masters were [there]332-there]5230-some one above a nursemaid to sit with them while their masters were there -- [some one who would see about [their]5229-the younger ones learning [their]5229-the younger ones lessons , and who would walk out with [them]5229-the younger ones]5234-some one who would see about their learning their lessons , and who would walk out with them ; a sort of [nursery governess]5235-nursery governess , [I]4508-his sister think [she]151-mrs bradshaw meant , though [she]151-mrs bradshaw did not say so ; and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ( for , of course , [I]4508-his sister saw [his]149-mr bradshaw thoughts and words constantly peeping out , though [he]149-mr bradshaw had told [her]151-mrs bradshaw to speak to [me]4508-his sister ) believed that [[our]5236-we [Ruth]81-ruth]5237-our ruth would be [the very person]5238-the very person . Now , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , do n't look so surprised , as if [she]81-ruth had never come into [your]161-thurstan head ! [I]4508-his sister am sure [I]4508-his sister saw what [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw was driving at , long before [she]151-mrs bradshaw came to the point ; and [I]4508-his sister could scarcely keep from smiling , and saying , ' [We]5236-we 'd jump at the proposal'--long before [I]4508-his sister ought to have known anything about it . "[4508-his sister] " Oh , [I]143-mr benson wonder what [we]5236-we ought to do ! "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " Or rather , [I]143-mr benson believe [I]143-mr benson see what [we]5236-we ought to do , if [I]143-mr benson durst but do it . "[143-mr benson] " Why , what ought [we]5236-we to do ? "[4508-his sister] asked [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , in surprise . " [I]4508-his sister ought to go and tell [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw the whole story-- "[4508-his sister] " And get [Ruth]81-ruth turned out of [[our]5236-we house]4756-our house , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , indignantly . " [They]5236-we ca n't make [us]5236-we do that , "[982-her brother] said [[her]4508-his sister brother]982-her brother . " [I]982-her brother do not think [they]5236-we would try . "[982-her brother] " Yes , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw would try ; and [he]149-mr bradshaw would blazon out [poor Ruth]81-ruth 's sin , and there would not be a chance for [her]81-ruth left . [I]4508-his sister know [him]149-mr bradshaw well , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ; and why should [he]149-mr bradshaw be told now , more than a year ago ? "[4508-his sister] " A year ago [he]149-mr bradshaw did not want to put [her]81-ruth in a situation of trust about [[his]149-mr bradshaw children]5138-his children . "[4508-his sister] " And [you]161-thurstan think [she]81-ruth 'll abuse that trust , do [you]161-thurstan ? [You]161-thurstan 've lived a twelvemonth in [the house]426-the house with [Ruth]81-ruth , and the end of it is , [you]161-thurstan think [she]81-ruth will do [[his]149-mr bradshaw children]5138-his children harm ! Besides , who encouraged [Jemima]217-jemima to come to [the house]426-the house so much to see [Ruth]81-ruth ? Did [you]161-thurstan not say it would do [them]5244-them both good to see something of [each other]579-each other ? "[982-her brother] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson sat thinking . " If [you]161-thurstan had not known [Ruth]81-ruth as well as [you]161-thurstan do -- if during [her]81-ruth stay with [us]5246-we [you]161-thurstan had marked anything wrong , or forward , or deceitful , or immodest , [I]2246-i would say at once , ' Do n't allow [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw to take [her]81-ruth into [[his]149-mr bradshaw house]2164-his house ; ' but still [I]2246-i would say , ' Do n't tell of [her]81-ruth sin and [her]81-ruth sorrow to so severe [a man]650-a man -- so unpitiful [a judge]5249-a judge . ' But here [I]2246-i ask [you]161-thurstan , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , can [you]161-thurstan , or [I]2246-i , or [Sally]148-sally ( quick - eyed as [she]148-sally is ) , say , that in any one thing [we]5246-we have had true , just occasion to find fault with [Ruth]81-ruth ? [I]2246-i do n't mean that [she]81-ruth is perfect -- [she]81-ruth acts without thinking , [her]81-ruth temper is sometimes warm and hasty ; but have [we]5246-we any right to go and injure [her]81-ruth prospects for life , by telling [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw all [we]5246-we know of [her]81-ruth errors -- only sixteen when [she]81-ruth did so wrong , and never to escape from it all [her]81-ruth many years to come -- to have the despair which would arise from its being known , clutching [her]81-ruth back into worse sin ? What harm do [you]5250-you think [she]81-ruth can do ? What is the risk to which [you]5250-you think [you]5250-you are exposing [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's children]5251-mr bradshaw 's children ? "[2246-i] [She]2246-i paused , out of breath , [her]2246-i eyes glittering with tears of indignation , and impatient for an answer , that [she]2246-i might knock it to pieces . " [I]2247-i do not see any danger that can arise , "[2247-i] said [he]2247-i at length , and with slow difficulty , as if not fully convinced . " [I]2247-i have watched [Ruth]81-ruth , and [I]2247-i believe [she]81-ruth is pure and truthful ; and the very sorrow and penitence [she]81-ruth has felt -- the very suffering [she]81-ruth has gone through -- has given [her]81-ruth a thoughtful conscientiousness beyond [her]81-ruth age . "[2247-i] " That and the care of [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , secretly delighted at the tone of [[her]2246-i brother]982-her brother 's thoughts . " Ah , [Faith]164-miss faith ! that baby [you]143-mr benson so much dreaded once , is turning out a blessing , [you]143-mr benson see , "[161-thurstan] said [Thurstan]161-thurstan , with a faint , quiet smile . " Yes ! [any one]425-any one might be thankful , and better too , for [Leonard]104-leonard ; but how could [I]161-thurstan tell that it would be like [him]104-leonard ? "[161-thurstan] " But to return to [Ruth]81-ruth and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . What did [you]161-thurstan say ? "[2247-i] " Oh ! with [my]161-thurstan feelings , of course , [I]161-thurstan was only too glad to accept the proposal , and so [I]161-thurstan told [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw then ; and [I]161-thurstan afterwards repeated it to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , when [he]149-mr bradshaw asked [me]161-thurstan if [[his]149-mr bradshaw wife]737-his wife had mentioned [their]5255-their plans . [They]5255-their would understand that [I]161-thurstan must consult [you]161-thurstan and [Ruth]81-ruth , before it could be considered as finally settled . "[161-thurstan] " And have [you]161-thurstan named it to [her]81-ruth ? "[161-thurstan] " Yes , "[143-mr benson] answered [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , half afraid lest [he]2249-i should think [she]2250-she had been too precipitate . " And what did [she]81-ruth say ? "[2249-i] asked [he]2249-i , after a little pause of grave silence . " At first [she]81-ruth seemed very glad , and fell into [my]2249-i mood of planning how it should all be managed ; how [Sally]148-sally and [I]2249-i should take care of [the baby]1144-the baby the hours that [she]81-ruth was away at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's ; but by - and - by [she]81-ruth became silent and thoughtful , and knelt down by [me]2249-i and hid [her]81-ruth face in [my]2249-i lap , and shook a little as if [she]81-ruth was crying ; and then [I]2249-i heard [her]81-ruth speak in a very low smothered voice , for [her]81-ruth head was still bent down -- quite hanging down , indeed , so that [I]2249-i could not see [her]81-ruth face , so [I]2249-i stooped to listen , and [I]2249-i heard [her]81-ruth say , ' Do [you]2249-i think [I]2249-i should be good enough to teach [little girls]5257-little girls , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ? ' [She]81-ruth said it so humbly and fearfully that all [I]2249-i thought of was how to cheer [her]81-ruth , and [I]2249-i answered and asked [her]81-ruth if [she]81-ruth did not hope to be good enough to bring up [her]81-ruth own darling to be [a brave Christian man]5258-a brave christian man ? And [she]81-ruth lifted up [her]81-ruth head , and [I]2249-i saw [her]81-ruth eyes looking wild and wet and earnest , and [she]81-ruth said , ' With [God]104-leonard 's help , that will [I]2249-i try to make [[my]2249-i child]5259-my child . ' And [I]2249-i said then , ' [Ruth]81-ruth , as [you]81-ruth strive and as [you]81-ruth pray for [[your]81-ruth own child]5260-your own child , so [you]81-ruth must strive and pray to make [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth good , if [you]81-ruth are trusted with [them]5260-your own child . ' And [she]81-ruth said out quite clear , though [her]81-ruth face was hidden from [me]2249-i once more , ' [I]2249-i will strive , and [I]2249-i will pray . ' [You]2249-i would not have had any fears , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , if [you]2249-i could have heard and seen [her]81-ruth last night . "[2249-i] " [I]2251-i have no fear , "[2251-i] said [he]2251-i , decidedly . " Let the plan go on . "[2251-i] After a minute , [he]2251-i added , " But [I]2251-i am glad it was so far arranged before [I]2251-i heard of it . [My]2251-i indecision about right and wrong -- [my]2251-i perplexity as to how far [we]5261-we are to calculate consequences -- grows upon [me]2251-i , [I]2251-i fear . "[2251-i] " [You]2249-i look tired and weary , [dear]4155-dear . [You]2249-i should blame [your]2249-i body rather than [your]2249-i conscience at these times . "[2251-i] " A very dangerous doctrine . "[2251-i] The scroll of Fate was closed , and [they]2252-they could not foresee the Future ; and yet , if [they]2252-they could have seen it , though [they]2252-they might have shrunk fearfully at first , [they]2252-they would have smiled and thanked [God]104-leonard when all was done and said . CHAPTER XIX After Five Years The quiet days grew into weeks and months , and even years , without any event to startle the little circle into the consciousness of the lapse of time . One who had known [them]2252-they at the date of [Ruth]81-ruth 's becoming [a governess in [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's family]2196-mr bradshaw 's family]2253-a governess in mr bradshaw 's family , and had been absent until the time of which [I]0-i am now going to tell [you]2255-you , would have noted some changes which had imperceptibly come over all ; but [he]2256-he , too , would have thought , that the life which had brought so little of turmoil and vicissitude must have been calm and tranquil , and in accordance with the bygone activity of [the town]396-the town in which [their]2252-they existence passed away . The alterations that [he]2256-he would have perceived were those caused by the natural progress of time . [The Benson home]2258-the benson home was brightened into vividness by the presence of [the little Leonard]2259-the little leonard , now [a noble boy of six , large and grand in limb and stature , and with a face of marked beauty and intelligence]2260-a noble boy of six , large and grand in limb and stature , and with a face of marked beauty and intelligence . Indeed , [he]2259-the little leonard might have been considered by [many]652-many as too intelligent for [his]2259-the little leonard years ; and often the living with [old and thoughtful people]2262-old and thoughtful people gave [him]2259-the little leonard , beyond [most children]2263-most children , the appearance of pondering over the mysteries which meet [the young on the threshold of life]2264-the young on the threshold of life , but which fade away as advancing years bring [us]2265-us more into contact with the practical and tangible -- fade away and vanish , until it seems to require the agitation of some great storm of the soul before [we]2265-us can again realise spiritual things . But , at times , [Leonard]104-leonard seemed oppressed and bewildered , after listening intent , with grave and wondering eyes , to the conversation around [him]104-leonard ; at others , the bright animal life shone forth radiant , and no three - months ' kitten -- no foal , suddenly tossing up its heels by the side of its sedate dam , and careering around [the pasture]2266-the pasture in pure mad enjoyment -- [no young creature of any kind]2267-no young creature of any kind , could show more merriment and gladness of heart . " For ever in mischief , "[104-leonard] was [Sally]148-sally 's account of [him]104-leonard at such times ; but it was not intentional mischief ; and [Sally]148-sally [herself]148-sally would have been the first to scold [any one else who had used the same words]2268-any one else who had used the same words in reference to [[her]148-sally darling]1704-her darling . Indeed , [she]148-sally was once nearly giving warning , because [she]148-sally thought [the boy]4189-the boy was being ill - used . The occasion was this : [Leonard]104-leonard had for some time shown a strange , odd disregard of truth ; [he]104-leonard invented stories , and told [them]2271-them with so grave a face , that unless there was some internal evidence of [their]2271-them incorrectness ( such as describing a cow with a bonnet on ) , [he]104-leonard was generally believed , and [his]104-leonard statements , which were given with the full appearance of relating a real occurrence , had once or twice led to awkward results . [All the three , whose hearts]2272-all the three , whose hearts were pained by this apparent unconsciousness of the difference between truth and falsehood , were unaccustomed to [children]1146-children , or [they]2272-all the three , whose hearts would have recognised this as a stage through which [most infants , who have lively imaginations]2274-most infants , who have lively imaginations , pass ; and , accordingly , there was a consultation in [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's study]1717-mr benson 's study one morning . [Ruth]81-ruth was there , quiet , very pale , and with compressed lips , sick at heart as [she]81-ruth heard [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's arguments for the necessity of whipping , in order to cure [Leonard]104-leonard of [his]104-leonard story - telling . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson looked unhappy and uncomfortable . Education was but a series of experiments to [them]2272-all the three , whose hearts all , and [they]2272-all the three , whose hearts all had a secret dread of spoiling [the noble boy , who was the darling of [their]2272-all the three , whose hearts hearts]2276-the noble boy , who was the darling of their hearts . And , perhaps , this very intensity of love begot an impatient , unnecessary anxiety , and made [them]2272-all the three , whose hearts resolve on sterner measures than [the parent of [a large family ( where love was more spread abroad]2278-a large family ( where love was more spread abroad ) would have dared to use]2277-the parent of a large family ( where love was more spread abroad ) would have dared to use . At any rate , the vote for whipping carried the day ; and even [Ruth]81-ruth , trembling and cold , agreed that it must be done ; only [she]81-ruth asked , in a meek , sad voice , if [she]81-ruth need be present ( [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was to be [the executioner]2279-the executioner -- the scene , [the study]1738-the study ) ; and being instantly told that [she]81-ruth had better not , [she]81-ruth went slowly and languidly up to [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room , and kneeling down , [she]81-ruth closed [her]81-ruth ears , and prayed . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , having carried [her]81-ruth point , was very sorry for [the child]565-the child , and would have begged [him]565-the child off ; but [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had listened more to [her]81-ruth arguments than now to [her]81-ruth pleadings , and only answered , " If it is right , it shall be done ! "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson went into [the garden]783-the garden , and deliberately , almost as if [he]143-mr benson wished to gain time , chose and cut off a little switch from the laburnum - tree . Then [he]143-mr benson returned through [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , and gravely taking [the awed and wondering little fellow]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow by the hand , [he]143-mr benson led [him]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow silently into [the study]1738-the study , and placing [him]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow before [him]143-mr benson , began an admonition on the importance of truthfulness , meaning to conclude with what [he]143-mr benson believed to be the moral of all punishment : " As [you]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow can not remember this of [yourself]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow , [I]143-mr benson must give [you]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow a little pain to make [you]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow remember it . [I]143-mr benson am very sorry it is necessary , and that [you]2285-the awed and wondering little fellow can not recollect without [my]143-mr benson doing so . "[143-mr benson] But before [he]143-mr benson had reached this very proper and desirable conclusion , and while [he]143-mr benson was yet working [his]143-mr benson way , [his]143-mr benson heart aching with the terrified look of [the child]565-the child at the solemnly sad face and words of upbraiding , [Sally]148-sally burst in : " And what may [ye]143-mr benson be going to do with that fine switch [I]148-sally saw [ye]143-mr benson gathering , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan ? "[148-sally] asked [she]148-sally , [her]148-sally eyes gleaming with anger at the answer [she]148-sally knew must come , if answer [she]148-sally had at all . " Go away , [Sally]148-sally , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , annoyed at the fresh difficulty in [his]143-mr benson path . " [I]143-mr benson 'll not stir never a step till [you]148-sally give [me]143-mr benson that switch , as [you]148-sally 've got for some mischief , [I]143-mr benson 'll be bound . "[143-mr benson] " [Sally]148-sally ! remember where it is said , ' [He]5263-he that spareth the rod , spoileth [the child]565-the child , ' "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , austerely . " Aye , [I]2288-i remember ; and [I]2288-i remember a bit more than [you]148-sally want [me]2288-i to remember , [I]2288-i reckon . [It]5263-he were [King Solomon]202-king solomon as spoke them words , and it were [[King Solomon]202-king solomon 's son]5265-king solomon 's son that were [King Rehoboam]203-king rehoboam , and [no great shakes either]5266-no great shakes either . [I]2288-i can remember what is said on [him]5263-he , 2 Chronicles , xii . chapter , 14th verse : ' And [he]5263-he , ' that 's [King Rehoboam]203-king rehoboam , [the lad that tasted the rod]5267-the lad that tasted the rod , ' did evil , because [he]5263-he prepared not [his]5263-he heart to seek [the Lord]4327-the lord . ' [I]2288-i 've not been reading [my]2288-i chapters every night for fifty year to be caught napping by [a Dissenter]5094-a dissenter , neither ! "[2288-i] said [she]2288-i , triumphantly . " Come along , [Leonard]104-leonard . "[2288-i] [She]2288-i stretched out [her]2288-i hand to [the child]565-the child , thinking that [she]2288-i had conquered . But [Leonard]104-leonard did not stir . [He]104-leonard looked wistfully at [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " Come ! "[2288-i] said [she]2288-i , impatiently . [The boy]4189-the boy 's mouth quivered . " If [you]143-mr benson want to whip [me]4189-the boy , [uncle]5270-uncle , [you]143-mr benson may do it . [I]4189-the boy do n't much mind . "[4189-the boy] Put in this form , it was impossible to carry out [his]104-leonard intentions ; and so [Mr Benson]143-mr benson told [the lad]4193-the lad [he]143-mr benson might go -- that [he]143-mr benson would speak to [him]4193-the lad another time . [Leonard]104-leonard went away , more subdued in spirit than if [he]104-leonard had been whipped . [Sally]148-sally lingered a moment . [She]148-sally stopped to add : " [I]148-sally think it 's for [them]5271-them without sin to throw stones at [a poor child]5272-a poor child , and cut up good laburnum - branches to whip [him]5272-a poor child . [I]148-sally only do as [my]148-sally betters do , when [I]148-sally call [[Leonard]104-leonard 's mother]5273-leonard 's mother [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . "[148-sally] The moment [she]148-sally had said this [she]148-sally was sorry ; it was an ungenerous advantage after [the enemy]2292-the enemy had acknowledged [himself]2292-the enemy defeated . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson dropped [his]143-mr benson head upon [his]143-mr benson hands , and hid [his]143-mr benson face , and sighed deeply . [Leonard]104-leonard flew in search of [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother , as in search of a refuge . If [he]104-leonard had found [her]655-his mother calm , [he]104-leonard would have burst into a passion of crying after [his]104-leonard agitation ; as it was , [he]104-leonard came upon [her]655-his mother kneeling and sobbing , and [he]104-leonard stood quite still . Then [he]104-leonard threw [his]104-leonard arms round [her]655-his mother neck , and said : " [Mamma]113-mamma ! [mamma]4143-mamma ! [I]104-leonard will be good -- [I]104-leonard make a promise ; [I]104-leonard will speak true -- [I]104-leonard make a promise . "[104-leonard] And [he]104-leonard kept [his]104-leonard word . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson piqued [herself]143-mr benson upon being less carried away by [her]655-his mother love for [this child]4684-this child than [any one else in [the house]426-the house]1722-any one else in the house ; [she]655-his mother talked severely , and had capital theories ; but [her]655-his mother severity ended in talk , and [her]655-his mother theories would not work . However , [she]655-his mother read several books on education , knitting socks for [Leonard]104-leonard all the while ; and , upon the whole , [I]0-i think , the hands were more usefully employed than the head , and the good honest heart better than either . [She]655-his mother looked older than when [we]2297-we first knew [her]655-his mother , but it was a ripe , kindly age that was coming over [her]655-his mother . [Her]655-his mother excellent practical sense , perhaps , made [her]655-his mother a more masculine character than [[her]655-his mother brother]982-her brother . [He]982-her brother was often so much perplexed by the problems of life , that [he]982-her brother let the time for action go by ; but [she]655-his mother kept [him]982-her brother in check by [her]655-his mother clear , pithy talk , which brought back [his]982-her brother wandering thoughts to the duty that lay straight before [him]982-her brother , waiting for action ; and then [he]982-her brother remembered that it was the faithful part to " wait patiently upon [God]104-leonard , "[655-his mother] and leave the ends in [His]982-her brother hands , who alone knows why Evil exists in [this world]402-this world , and why it ever hovers on either side of Good . In this respect , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had more faith than [[her]655-his mother brother]982-her brother -- or so it seemed ; for quick , resolute action in the next step of Life was all [she]655-his mother required , while [he]982-her brother deliberated and trembled , and often did wrong from [his]982-her brother very deliberation , when [his]982-her brother first instinct would have led [him]982-her brother right . But although decided and prompt as ever , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was grown older since the summer afternoon when [she]655-his mother dismounted from [the coach]1509-the coach at the foot of the long Welsh hill that led to [Llan - dhu]31-llan - dhu , where [[her]655-his mother brother]982-her brother awaited [her]655-his mother to consult [her]655-his mother about [Ruth]81-ruth . Though [her]655-his mother eye was as bright and straight - looking as ever , quick and brave in its glances , [her]655-his mother hair had become almost snowy white ; and it was on this point [she]655-his mother consulted [Sally]148-sally , soon after the date of [Leonard]104-leonard 's last untruth . [The two]1675-the two were arranging [[Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's room]2304-miss benson 's room one morning , when , after dusting the looking - glass , [she]655-his mother suddenly stopped in [her]655-his mother operation , and after a close inspection of [herself]655-his mother , startled [Sally]148-sally by this speech : " [Sally]148-sally ! [I]655-his mother 'm looking a great deal older than [I]655-his mother used to do ! "[655-his mother] [Sally]148-sally , who was busy dilating on the increased price of flour , considered this remark of [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's as strangely irrelevant to the matter in hand , and only noticed it by a " To be sure ! [I]143-mr benson suppose [we]1675-the two all on [us]1675-the two do . But two - and - fourpence a dozen is too much to make [us]1675-the two pay for it . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson went on with [her]655-his mother inspection of [herself]655-his mother , and [Sally]148-sally with [her]148-sally economical projects . " [Sally]148-sally ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , " [my]143-mr benson hair is nearly white . The last time [I]143-mr benson looked it was only pepper - and - salt . What must [I]143-mr benson do ? "[143-mr benson] " Do -- why , what would [the wench]5275-the wench do ? "[148-sally] asked [Sally]148-sally , contemptuously . " [Ye're]148-sally never going to be taken in , at [your]148-sally time of life , by hair - dyes and such gimcracks , as can only take in [young girls whose wisdom - teeth are not cut]5276-young girls whose wisdom - teeth are not cut . "[148-sally] " And who are not very likely to want [them]5276-young girls whose wisdom - teeth are not cut , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , quietly . " No ! but [you]148-sally see , [Sally]148-sally , it 's very awkward having such grey hair , and feeling so young . Do [you]148-sally know , [Sally]148-sally , [I]143-mr benson 've as great a mind for dancing , when [I]143-mr benson hear a lively tune on [the street]347-the street - organs , as ever ; and as great a mind to sing when [I]143-mr benson 'm happy -- to sing in [my]143-mr benson old way , [Sally]148-sally , [you]148-sally know . "[143-mr benson] " Aye , [you]148-sally had it from [a girl]1959-a girl , "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally ; " and many a time , when the door 's been shut , [I]148-sally did not know if it was [you]148-sally in [the parlour]712-the parlour , or a big bumble - bee in [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , as was making that drumbling noise . [I]148-sally heard [you]148-sally at it yesterday . "[148-sally] " But [an old woman with grey hair]5281-an old woman with grey hair ought not to have a fancy for dancing or singing , "[143-mr benson] continued [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " Whatten nonsense are [ye]148-sally talking ? "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally , roused to indignation . " Calling [yoursel]148-sally ' [an old woman]4636-an old woman when [you]148-sally 're better than ten years younger than [me]148-sally ! and [many a girl]5283-many a girl has grey hair at five - and - twenty . "[148-sally] " But [I]143-mr benson 'm more than five - and - twenty , [Sally]148-sally . [I]143-mr benson 'm fifty - seven next May ! "[143-mr benson] " More shame for [ye]148-sally , then , not to know better than to talk of dyeing [your]148-sally hair . [I]148-sally can not abide such vanities ! "[148-sally] " Oh , [dear]4155-dear ! [Sally]148-sally , when will [you]148-sally understand what [I]148-sally mean ? [I]148-sally want to know how [I]148-sally am to keep remembering how old [I]148-sally am , so as to prevent [myself]148-sally from feeling so young ? [I]148-sally was quite startled just now to see [my]148-sally hair in the glass , for [I]148-sally can generally tell if [my]148-sally cap is straight by feeling . [I]148-sally 'll tell [you]148-sally what [I]148-sally 'll do -- [I'll]148-sally cut off a piece of [my]148-sally grey hair , and plait it together for a marker in [my]148-sally Bible ! "[148-sally] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson expected applause for this bright idea , but [Sally]148-sally only made answer : " [You]148-sally 'll be taking to painting [your]148-sally cheeks next , now [you]148-sally 've once thought of dyeing [your]148-sally hair . "[148-sally] So [Miss Benson]143-mr benson plaited [her]148-sally grey hair in silence and quietness , [Leonard]104-leonard holding one end of it while [she]148-sally wove it , and admiring the colour and texture all the time , with a sort of implied dissatisfaction at the auburn colour of [his]104-leonard own curls , which was only half - comforted away by [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's information , that , if [he]104-leonard lived long enough , [his]104-leonard hair would be like [hers]148-sally . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , who had looked old and frail while [he]104-leonard was yet but young , was now stationary as to the date of [his]104-leonard appearance . But there was something more of nervous restlessness in [his]104-leonard voice and ways than formerly ; that was the only change six years had brought to [him]104-leonard . And as for [Sally]148-sally , [she]148-sally chose to forget age and the passage of years altogether , and had as much work in [her]148-sally , to use [her]148-sally own expression , as [she]148-sally had at sixteen ; nor was [her]148-sally appearance very explicit as to the flight of time . Fifty , sixty , or seventy , [she]148-sally might be -- not more than the last , not less than the first -- though [her]148-sally usual answer to any circuitous inquiry as to [her]148-sally age was now ( what it had been for many years past ) , " [I]148-sally 'm feared [I]148-sally shall never see thirty again . "[148-sally] Then as to [the house]426-the house . It was not one where [the sitting - rooms]4435-the sitting - rooms are refurnished every two or three years ; not now , even ( since [Ruth]81-ruth came to share [their]2307-their living ) a place where , as an article grew shabby or worn , a new one was purchased . The furniture looked poor , and the carpets almost threadbare ; but there was such a dainty spirit of cleanliness abroad , such exquisite neatness of repair , and altogether so bright and cheerful a look about [the rooms]1057-the rooms -- everything so above - board -- no shifts to conceal poverty under flimsy ornament -- that many [a splendid drawing - room]2309-a splendid drawing - room would give less pleasure to those who could see evidences of character in inanimate things . But whatever poverty there might be in [the house]426-the house , there was full luxuriance in [the little square wall - encircled garden]2311-the little square wall - encircled garden , on two sides of which [the parlour]712-the parlour and [kitchen]1794-kitchen looked . The laburnum - tree , which when [Ruth]81-ruth came was like a twig stuck into the ground , was now a golden glory in spring , and a pleasant shade in summer . The wild hop , that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had brought [home]4124-home from one of [[his]143-mr benson country rambles]2315-his country rambles , and planted by the parlour - window , while [Leonard]104-leonard was yet [a baby]4677-a baby in [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother 's arms , was now a garland over the casement , hanging down long tendrils , that waved in the breezes , and threw pleasant shadows and traceries , like some Bacchanalian carving , on the parlour - walls , at " morn or dusky eve . "[81-ruth] The yellow rose had clambered up to the window of [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's bedroom]2318-mr benson 's bedroom , and [its]2319-its blossom - laden branches were supported by a jargonelle pear - tree rich in autumnal fruit . But , perhaps , in [Ruth]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth there was the greatest external change ; for of the change which had gone on in [her]81-ruth heart , and mind , and soul , or if there had been any , neither [she]81-ruth nor [any one around [her]81-ruth]2320-any one around her was conscious ; but sometimes [Miss Benson]143-mr benson did say to [Sally]148-sally , " How very handsome [Ruth]81-ruth is grown ! "[143-mr benson] To which [Sally]148-sally made ungracious answer , " Yes ! [she]81-ruth 's well enough . Beauty is deceitful , and favour a snare , and [I]148-sally 'm thankful [the Lord]4327-the lord has spared [me]148-sally from such man - traps and spring - guns . "[148-sally] But even [Sally]148-sally could not help secretly admiring [Ruth]81-ruth . If [her]81-ruth early brilliancy of colour was gone , a clear ivory skin , as smooth as satin , told of complete and perfect health , and was as lovely , if not so striking in effect , as the banished lilies and roses . [Her]81-ruth hair had grown darker and deeper , in the shadow that lingered in its masses ; [her]81-ruth eyes , even if [you]2321-you could have guessed that they had shed bitter tears in [their]2322-their day , had a thoughtful , spiritual look about [them]2322-their , that made [you]2321-you wonder at [their]2322-their depth , and look -- and look again . The increase of dignity in [her]81-ruth face had been imparted to [her]81-ruth form . [I]0-i do not know if [she]81-ruth had grown taller since the birth of [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child , but [she]81-ruth looked as if [she]81-ruth had . And although [she]81-ruth had lived in [a very humble home]2324-a very humble home , yet there was something about either it or [her]81-ruth , or [the people amongst whom [she]81-ruth had been thrown during the last few years]2325-the people amongst whom she had been thrown during the last few years , which had so changed [her]81-ruth , that whereas , six or seven years ago , [you]2321-you would have perceived that [she]81-ruth was not altogether [a lady by birth and education]2326-a lady by birth and education , yet now [she]81-ruth might have been placed among the highest in [the land]1248-the land , and would have been taken by [the most critical judge]2328-the most critical judge for [their]2328-the most critical judge equal , although ignorant of [their]2328-the most critical judge conventional etiquette -- an ignorance which [she]81-ruth would have acknowledged in a simple child - like way , being unconscious of any false shame . [Her]81-ruth whole heart was in [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy . [She]81-ruth often feared that [she]81-ruth loved [him]2051-her boy too much -- more than [God]104-leonard [Himself]2051-her boy -- yet [she]81-ruth could not bear to pray to have [her]81-ruth love for [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child lessened . But [she]81-ruth would kneel down by [his]2051-her boy little bed at night -- at the deep , still midnight -- with the stars that kept watch over [Rizpah]204-rizpah shining down upon [her]81-ruth , and tell [God]104-leonard what [I]0-i have now told [you]2331-you , that [she]81-ruth feared [she]81-ruth loved [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child too much , yet could not , would not , love [him]2051-her boy less ; and speak to [Him]2051-her boy of [her]81-ruth one treasure as [she]81-ruth could speak to [no earthly friend]2333-no earthly friend . And so , unconsciously , [her]81-ruth love for [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child led [her]81-ruth up to love to [God]104-leonard , to [the All - knowing , who read [her]81-ruth heart]2335-the all - knowing , who read her heart . It might be superstition -- [I]0-i dare say it was -- but , somehow , [she]81-ruth never lay down to rest without saying , as [she]81-ruth looked [her]81-ruth last on [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy , " [Thy]5286-thy will , not [mine]81-ruth , be done ; "[81-ruth] and even while [she]81-ruth trembled and shrank with infinite dread from sounding the depths of what that will might be , [she]81-ruth felt as if [her]81-ruth treasure were more secure to waken up rosy and bright in the morning , as one over whose slumbers [[God]104-leonard 's holy angels]2337-god 's holy angels had watched , for the very words which [she]81-ruth had turned away in sick terror from realising the night before . [Her]81-ruth daily absence at [her]81-ruth duties to [the Bradshaw children]2338-the bradshaw children only ministered to [her]81-ruth love for [Leonard]104-leonard . Everything does minister to love when its foundation lies deep in a true heart , and it was with an exquisite pang of delight that , after a moment of vague fear , ( Oh , mercy ! to [myself]0-i [I]0-i said , If [Lucy]205-lucy should be dead ! ) , [she]81-ruth saw [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's bright face of welcome as [he]104-leonard threw open the door every afternoon on [her]81-ruth return [home]4124-home . For it was [his]104-leonard silently - appointed work to listen for [her]81-ruth knock , and rush breathless to let [her]81-ruth in . If [he]104-leonard were in [the garden]783-the garden , or upstairs among the treasures of [the lumber - room]2342-the lumber - room , either [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , or [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother , or [Sally]148-sally , would fetch [him]104-leonard to [his]104-leonard happy little task ; [no one]517-no one so sacred as [he]104-leonard to the allotted duty . And the joyous meeting was not deadened by custom , to either [mother]4127-mother or [child]895-child . [Ruth]81-ruth gave [the Bradshaws]206-the bradshaws the highest satisfaction , as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw often said both to [her]81-ruth and to [the Bensons]157-the bensons ; indeed , [she]81-ruth rather winced under [his]149-mr bradshaw pompous approbation . But [his]149-mr bradshaw favourite recreation was patronising ; and when [Ruth]81-ruth saw how quietly and meekly [Mr Benson]143-mr benson submitted to gifts and praise , when an honest word of affection , or a tacit , implied acknowledgment of equality , would have been worth everything said and done , [she]81-ruth tried to be more meek in spirit , and to recognise the good that undoubtedly existed in [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw was richer and more prosperous than [ever;--a keen , far - seeing man of business , with an undisguised contempt for all who failed in the success which [he]149-mr bradshaw had achieved]2347-ever;--a keen , far - seeing man of business , with an undisguised contempt for all who failed in the success which he had achieved . But it was not alone those who were less fortunate in obtaining wealth than [himself]149-mr bradshaw that [he]149-mr bradshaw visited with severity of judgment ; every moral error or delinquency came under [his]149-mr bradshaw unsparing comment . Stained by no vice [himself]149-mr bradshaw , either in [his]149-mr bradshaw own eyes or in that of [any human being who cared to judge [him]149-mr bradshaw , having nicely and wisely proportioned and adapted [his]149-mr bradshaw means to [his]149-mr bradshaw ends]2348-any human being who cared to judge him , having nicely and wisely proportioned and adapted his means to his ends , [he]149-mr bradshaw could afford to speak and act with a severity which was almost sanctimonious in its ostentation of thankfulness as to [himself]149-mr bradshaw . Not a misfortune or a sin was brought to light but [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw could trace it to its cause in some former mode of action , which [he]149-mr bradshaw had long ago foretold would lead to shame . If [[another]2349-another 's son]2350-another 's son turned out wild or bad , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had little sympathy ; it might have been prevented by a stricter rule , or more religious life at [home]4124-home ; [young Richard Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was quiet and steady , and [other fathers]2352-other fathers might have had [sons]2353-sons like [him]149-mr bradshaw if [they]2353-sons had taken the same pains to enforce obedience . [Richard]149-mr bradshaw was [an only son]2354-an only son , and yet [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw might venture to say , [he]149-mr bradshaw had never had [his]149-mr bradshaw own way in [his]149-mr bradshaw life . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw was , [he]149-mr bradshaw confessed ( [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw did not dislike confessing [[his]149-mr bradshaw wife]737-his wife 's errors ) , rather less firm than [he]149-mr bradshaw should have liked with [the girls]414-the girls ; and with [some people]1567-some people , [he]149-mr bradshaw believed , [Jemima]217-jemima was rather headstrong ; but to [his]149-mr bradshaw wishes [she]217-jemima had always shown [herself]217-jemima obedient . [All children]2358-all children were obedient , if [[their]2358-all children parents]2359-their parents were decided and authoritative ; and [every one]1129-every one would turn out well , if properly managed . If [they]2358-all children did not prove good , [they]2358-all children must take the consequences of [their]2358-all children errors . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw murmured faintly at [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband when [his]730-her husband back was turned ; but if [his]730-her husband voice was heard , or [his]730-her husband footsteps sounded in the distance , [she]151-mrs bradshaw was mute , and hurried [[her]151-mrs bradshaw children]2362-her children into the attitude or action most pleasing to [[their]2362-her children father]2183-their father . [Jemima]217-jemima , it is true , rebelled against this manner of proceeding , which savoured to [her]217-jemima a little of deceit ; but even [she]217-jemima had not , as yet , overcome [her]217-jemima awe of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father sufficiently to act independently of [him]730-her husband , and according to [her]217-jemima own sense of right -- or rather , [I]0-i should say , according to [her]217-jemima own warm , passionate impulses . Before [him]730-her husband the wilfulness which made [her]217-jemima dark eyes blaze out at times was hushed and still ; [he]730-her husband had no idea of [her]217-jemima self - tormenting , no notion of the almost southern jealousy which seemed to belong to [her]217-jemima brunette complexion . [Jemima]217-jemima was not pretty ; the flatness and shortness of [her]217-jemima face made [her]217-jemima almost plain ; yet [most people]2365-most people looked twice at [her]217-jemima expressive countenance , at the eyes which flamed or melted at every trifle , at the rich colour which came at every expressed emotion into [her]217-jemima usually sallow face , at the faultless teeth which made [her]217-jemima smile like a sunbeam . But then , again , when [she]217-jemima thought [she]217-jemima was not kindly treated , when a suspicion crossed [her]217-jemima mind , or when [she]217-jemima was angry with [herself]217-jemima , [her]217-jemima lips were tight - pressed together , [her]217-jemima colour was wan and almost livid , and a stormy gloom clouded [her]217-jemima eyes as with a film . But before [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father [her]217-jemima words were few , and [he]411-her father did not notice looks or tones . [[Her]217-jemima brother]982-her brother [Richard]149-mr bradshaw had been equally silent before [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father in boyhood and early youth ; but since [he]149-mr bradshaw had gone to be [clerk in [a [London]3-london house]2370-a london house , preparatory to assuming [his]149-mr bradshaw place as [junior partner in [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's business]2371-junior partner in mr bradshaw 's business]2369-clerk in a london house , preparatory to assuming his place as junior partner in mr bradshaw 's business , [he]149-mr bradshaw spoke more on [his]149-mr bradshaw occasional visits at [home]4124-home . And very proper and highly moral was [his]149-mr bradshaw conversation ; set sentences of goodness , which were like the flowers that [children]1146-children stick in the ground , and that have not sprung upwards from roots -- deep down in the hidden life and experience of the heart . [He]149-mr bradshaw was as severe [a judge]5249-a judge as [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father of [other people]2376-other people 's conduct , but [you]2377-you felt that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was sincere in [his]149-mr bradshaw condemnation of all outward error and vice , and that [he]149-mr bradshaw would try [himself]149-mr bradshaw by the same laws as [he]149-mr bradshaw tried [others]368-others ; somehow , [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's words were frequently heard with a lurking distrust , and [many]652-many shook [their]652-many heads over [the pattern son]2380-the pattern son ; but then it was those whose [sons had gone astray , and been condemned , in no private or tender manner]2381-sons had gone astray , and been condemned , in no private or tender manner , by [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , so it might be revenge in [them]2382-them . Still , [Jemima]217-jemima felt that all was not right ; [her]217-jemima heart sympathised in the rebellion against [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father 's commands , which [[her]217-jemima brother]982-her brother had confessed to [her]217-jemima in an unusual moment of confidence , but [her]217-jemima uneasy conscience condemned the deceit which [he]982-her brother had practised . [The brother]1706-the brother and [sister]4728-sister were sitting alone over a blazing Christmas fire , and [Jemima]217-jemima held an old newspaper in [her]217-jemima hand to shield [her]217-jemima face from the hot light . [They]2387-they were talking of family events , when , during a pause , [Jemima]217-jemima 's eye caught the name of [a great actor , who had lately given prominence and life to [a character in one of [Shakspeare]207-shakspeare 's plays]2389-a character in one of shakspeare 's plays]2388-a great actor , who had lately given prominence and life to a character in one of shakspeare 's plays . The criticism in the paper was fine , and warmed [Jemima]217-jemima 's heart . " How [I]217-jemima should like to see a play ! "[217-jemima] exclaimed [she]217-jemima . " Should [you]217-jemima ? "[982-her brother] said [[her]217-jemima brother]982-her brother , listlessly . " Yes , to be sure ! Just hear this ! "[217-jemima] and [she]217-jemima began to read a fine passage of criticism . " [Those newspaper people]5287-those newspaper people can make an article out of anything , "[982-her brother] said [he]982-her brother , yawning . " [I]982-her brother 've seen [the man]5002-the man [myself]982-her brother , and it was all very well , but nothing to make such a fuss about . "[982-her brother] " [You]217-jemima ! [you]217-jemima seen ---- ! Have [you]217-jemima seen a play , [Richard]149-mr bradshaw ? Oh , why did [you]217-jemima never tell [me]982-her brother before ? Tell [me]982-her brother all about it ! Why did [you]217-jemima never name seeing ---- in [your]217-jemima letters ? "[982-her brother] [He]982-her brother half smiled , contemptuously enough . " Oh ! at first it strikes one rather , but after a while [one]321-one cares no more for the theatre than [one]321-one does for mince - pies . "[982-her brother] " Oh , [I]217-jemima wish [I]217-jemima might go to [London]3-london ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , impatiently . " [I]217-jemima 've a great mind to ask [papa]4310-papa to let [me]217-jemima go to [the George Smiths ']5292-the george smiths ' , and then [I]217-jemima could see ---- . [I]217-jemima would not think [him]982-her brother like mince - pies . "[217-jemima] " [You]217-jemima must not do any such thing ! "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Richard]149-mr bradshaw , now neither yawning nor contemptuous . " [[My]149-mr bradshaw father]4925-my father would never allow [you]217-jemima to go to [the theatre]5294-the theatre ; and [the George Smiths]80-george are [such old fogeys]5295-such old fogeys -- [they]5295-such old fogeys would be sure to tell . "[149-mr bradshaw] " How do [you]217-jemima go , then ? Does [[my]217-jemima father]4925-my father give [you]217-jemima leave ? "[217-jemima] " Oh ! many things are right for [men]836-men which are not for [girls]1963-girls . "[217-jemima] [Jemima]217-jemima sat and pondered . [Richard]149-mr bradshaw wished [he]149-mr bradshaw had not been so confidential . " [You]217-jemima need not name it , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw , rather anxiously . " Name what ? "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima , startled , for [her]217-jemima thoughts had gone far afield . " Oh , name [my]217-jemima going once or twice to [the theatre]5294-the theatre ! "[217-jemima] " No , [I]217-jemima sha n't name it ! "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima . " [No one here]5300-no one here would care to hear it . "[217-jemima] But it was with some little surprise , and almost with a feeling of disgust , that [she]217-jemima heard [Richard]149-mr bradshaw join with [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father in condemning [some one]378-some one , and add to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's list of offences , by alleging that [the young man]2393-the young man was [a playgoer]2394-a playgoer . [He]149-mr bradshaw did not think [[his]149-mr bradshaw sister]4508-his sister heard [his]149-mr bradshaw words . [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth were [the two girls whom [Ruth]81-ruth had in charge]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge ; [they]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge resembled [Jemima]217-jemima more than [[their]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge brother]2397-their brother in character . The household rules were occasionally a little relaxed in [their]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge favour , for [Mary]118-mary , [the elder]2398-the elder , was nearly eight years younger than [Jemima]217-jemima , and [three intermediate children]2399-three intermediate children had died . [They]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge loved [Ruth]81-ruth dearly , made a great pet of [Leonard]104-leonard , and had many profound secrets together , most of which related to [their]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge wonders if [Jemima]217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar would ever be married . [They]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge watched [[their]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge sister]2400-their sister closely ; and every day had some fresh confidence to make to [each other]579-each other , confirming or discouraging to [their]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge hopes . [Ruth]81-ruth rose early , and shared the household work with [Sally]148-sally and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson till seven ; and then [she]81-ruth helped [Leonard]104-leonard to dress , and had a quiet time alone with [him]104-leonard till prayers and breakfast . At nine [she]81-ruth was to be at [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's house]2402-mr bradshaw 's house . [She]81-ruth sat in [the room]357-the room with [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth during the Latin , the writing , and arithmetic lessons , which [they]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge received from [masters]2404-masters ; then [she]81-ruth read , and walked with [them]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge , [they]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge clinging to [her]81-ruth as to [an elder sister]2405-an elder sister ; [she]81-ruth dined with [[her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils at the family lunch , and reached [home]4124-home by four . [That happy home]2408-that happy home -- those quiet days ! And so the peaceful days passed on into weeks , and months , and years , and [Ruth]81-ruth and [Leonard]104-leonard grew and strengthened into the riper beauty of [their]2396-the two girls whom ruth had in charge respective ages ; while as yet no touch of decay had come on [the quaint , primitive elders of [the household]1179-the household]2409-the quaint , primitive elders of the household . CHAPTER XX [Jemima]217-jemima Refuses to Be Managed It was no wonder that [the lookers - on]2411-the lookers - on were perplexed as to the state of affairs between [Jemima]217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , for [they]2411-the lookers - on too were sorely puzzled [themselves]2411-the lookers - on at the sort of relationship between [them]2412-them . Was it love , or was it not ? that was the question in [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's mind . [He]193-mr farquhar hoped it was not ; [he]193-mr farquhar believed it was not ; and yet [he]193-mr farquhar felt as if it were . There was something preposterous , [he]193-mr farquhar thought , in [a man nearly forty years of age]2413-a man nearly forty years of age being in love with [a girl of twenty]2414-a girl of twenty . [He]193-mr farquhar had gone on reasoning through all the days of [his]193-mr farquhar manhood on the idea of [a staid , noble - minded wife]2415-a staid , noble - minded wife , grave and sedate , [the fit companion in experience of [[her]2415-a staid , noble - minded wife husband]730-her husband]2416-the fit companion in experience of her husband . [He]193-mr farquhar had spoken with admiration of [reticent characters]2418-reticent characters , full of self - control and dignity ; and [he]193-mr farquhar hoped -- [he]193-mr farquhar trusted , that all this time [he]193-mr farquhar had not been allowing [himself]193-mr farquhar unconsciously to fall in love with [a wild - hearted , impetuous girl , who knew nothing of life beyond [[her]2419-a wild - hearted , impetuous girl , who knew nothing of life beyond her father 's house , and who chafed under the strict discipline enforced there father]411-her father 's house , and who chafed under the strict discipline enforced [there]332-there]2419-a wild - hearted , impetuous girl , who knew nothing of life beyond her father 's house , and who chafed under the strict discipline enforced there . For it was rather a suspicious symptom of the state of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's affections , that [he]193-mr farquhar had discovered the silent rebellion which continued in [Jemima]217-jemima 's heart , unperceived by [any of [[her]217-jemima own family]2423-her own family]2422-any of her own family , against the severe laws and opinions of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar shared in these opinions ; but in [him]193-mr farquhar they were modified , and took a milder form . Still , [he]193-mr farquhar approved of much that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw did and said ; and this made it all the more strange that [he]193-mr farquhar should wince so for [Jemima]217-jemima , whenever anything took place which [he]193-mr farquhar instinctively knew that [she]217-jemima would dislike . After an evening at [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's]2425-mr bradshaw 's , when [Jemima]217-jemima had gone to the very verge of questioning or disputing some of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's severe judgments , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar went [home]4124-home in a dissatisfied , restless state of mind , which [he]193-mr farquhar was almost afraid to analyse . [He]193-mr farquhar admired the inflexible integrity -- and almost the pomp of principle -- evinced by [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw on every occasion ; [he]193-mr farquhar wondered how it was that [Jemima]217-jemima could not see how grand a life might be , whose every action was shaped in obedience to some eternal law ; instead of which , [he]193-mr farquhar was afraid [she]217-jemima rebelled against every law , and was only guided by impulse . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had been taught to dread impulses as promptings of the devil . Sometimes , if [he]193-mr farquhar tried to present [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's opinions before [her]217-jemima in another form , so as to bring [himself]193-mr farquhar and [her]217-jemima rather more into that state of agreement [he]193-mr farquhar longed for , [she]217-jemima flashed out upon [him]193-mr farquhar with the indignation of difference that [she]217-jemima dared not show to , or before , [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father , as if [she]217-jemima had some diviner instinct which taught [her]217-jemima more truly than [they]2430-their knew , with all [their]2430-their experience ; at least , in [her]217-jemima first expressions there seemed something good and fine ; but opposition made [her]217-jemima angry and irritable , and the arguments which [he]193-mr farquhar was constantly provoking ( whenever [he]193-mr farquhar was with [her]217-jemima in [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's absence ) frequently ended in some vehemence of expression on [her]217-jemima part that offended [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , who did not see how [she]217-jemima expiated [her]217-jemima anger in tears and self - reproaches when alone in [[her]217-jemima chamber]2432-her chamber . Then [he]193-mr farquhar would lecture [himself]193-mr farquhar severely on the interest [he]193-mr farquhar could not help feeling in [a wilful girl]2433-a wilful girl ; [he]193-mr farquhar would determine not to interfere with [her]217-jemima opinions in future , and yet , the very next time [they]2430-their differed , [he]193-mr farquhar strove to argue [her]217-jemima into harmony with [himself]193-mr farquhar , in spite of all resolutions to the contrary . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw saw just enough of this interest which [Jemima]217-jemima had excited in [[his]149-mr bradshaw partner]2434-his partner 's mind , to determine [him]149-mr bradshaw in considering [their]2430-their future marriage as a settled affair . The fitness of the thing had long ago struck [him]193-mr farquhar ; [[[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's partner]2436-her father 's partner -- so the fortune [he]193-mr farquhar meant to give [her]217-jemima might continue in the business ; [a man of such steadiness of character]2437-a man of such steadiness of character , and such a capital eye for a desirable speculation as [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar -- just the right age to unite [the paternal]2438-the paternal with the conjugal affection , and consequently [the very man for [Jemima]217-jemima]2439-the very man for jemima , who had something unruly in [her]217-jemima , which might break out under a _ rĂ©gime _ less wisely adjusted to the circumstances than was [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's ( in [his]149-mr bradshaw own opinion)--a house ready - furnished , at a convenient distance from [[her]217-jemima home]840-her home -- no near relations on [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's side , who might be inclined to consider [[his]193-mr farquhar residence]2441-his residence as [their]2430-their own for an indefinite time , and so add to the household expenses -- in short , what could be more suitable in every way ? [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw respected the very self - restraint [he]149-mr bradshaw thought [he]149-mr bradshaw saw in [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's demeanour , attributing it to a wise desire to wait until trade should be rather more slack , and [the man of business]2442-the man of business more at leisure to become [the lover]4736-the lover . As for [Jemima]217-jemima , at times [she]217-jemima thought [she]217-jemima almost hated [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . " What business has [he]193-mr farquhar , "[217-jemima] [she]217-jemima would think , " to lecture [me]217-jemima ? Often [I]217-jemima can hardly bear it from [papa]4310-papa , and [I]217-jemima will not bear it from [him]4310-papa . [He]4310-papa treats [me]217-jemima just like [a child]556-a child , and as if [I]217-jemima should lose all [my]217-jemima present opinions when [I]217-jemima know more of [the world]506-the world . [I]217-jemima am sure [I]217-jemima should like never to know [the world]506-the world , if it was to make [me]217-jemima think as [he]4310-papa does , hard man that [he]4310-papa is ! [I]217-jemima wonder what made [him]4310-papa take [Jem Brown]102-jemima on as [gardener]5305-gardener again , if [he]4310-papa does not believe that above [one criminal in a thousand]5306-one criminal in a thousand is restored to goodness . [I]217-jemima 'll ask [him]4310-papa , some day , if that was not acting on impulse rather than principle . Poor impulse ! how [you]5307-you do get abused . But [I]217-jemima will tell [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar [I]217-jemima will not let [him]4310-papa interfere with [me]217-jemima . If [I]217-jemima do what [papa]4310-papa bids [me]217-jemima , [no one]517-no one has a right to notice whether [I]217-jemima do it willingly or not . "[217-jemima] So then [she]2444-she tried to defy [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , by doing and saying things that [she]2444-she knew [he]193-mr farquhar would disapprove . [She]2444-she went so far that [he]193-mr farquhar was seriously grieved , and did not even remonstrate and " lecture , "[193-mr farquhar] and then [she]2444-she was disappointed and irritated ; for , somehow , with all [her]2444-she indignation at interference , [she]2444-she liked to be lectured by [him]193-mr farquhar ; not that [she]2444-she was aware of this liking of [hers]2444-she , but still it would have been more pleasant to be scolded than so quietly passed over . [[Her]2444-she two little sisters]2445-her two little sisters , with [their]2445-her two little sisters wide - awake eyes , had long ago put things together , and conjectured . Every day [they]2445-her two little sisters had some fresh mystery together , to be imparted in garden walks and whispered talks . " [Lizzie]195-elizabeth , did [you]195-elizabeth see how the tears came into [Mimie]208-mimie 's eyes when [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar looked so displeased when [she]208-mimie said [good people]5310-good people were always dull ? [I]118-mary think [she]208-mimie 's in love . "[118-mary] [Mary]118-mary said the last words with grave emphasis , and felt like [an oracle of twelve years of age]2446-an oracle of twelve years of age . " [I]195-elizabeth do n't , "[195-elizabeth] said [Lizzie]195-elizabeth . " [I]195-elizabeth know [I]195-elizabeth cry often enough when [papa]4310-papa is cross , and [I]195-elizabeth 'm not in love with [him]4310-papa . "[195-elizabeth] " Yes ! but [you]195-elizabeth do n't look as [Mimie]208-mimie did . "[195-elizabeth] " Do n't call [her]208-mimie [Mimie]208-mimie -- [you]195-elizabeth know [papa]4310-papa does not like it . "[195-elizabeth] " Yes ; but there are so many things [papa]209-papa does not like [I]195-elizabeth can never remember them all . Never mind about that ; but listen to something [I]195-elizabeth 've got to tell [you]195-elizabeth , if [you]195-elizabeth 'll never , never tell . "[195-elizabeth] " No , indeed [I]195-elizabeth wo n't , [Mary]118-mary . What is it ? "[195-elizabeth] " Not to [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ? "[195-elizabeth] " No , not even to [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . "[195-elizabeth] " Well , then , the other day -- last Friday , [Mimie--]210-mimie-- "[195-elizabeth] " [Jemima]102-jemima ! "[195-elizabeth] interrupted [the more conscientious Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . " [Jemima]102-jemima , if it must be so , "[195-elizabeth] jerked out [Mary]118-mary , " sent [me]195-elizabeth to [her]102-jemima desk for an envelope , and what do [you]195-elizabeth think [I]195-elizabeth saw ? "[195-elizabeth] " What ? "[195-elizabeth] asked [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , expecting nothing less than a red - hot [Valentine]211-valentine , signed [Walter Farquhar]212-walter , [_ pro _ Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , and [Co.]213-co. , in full . " Why , a piece of paper , with dull - looking lines upon it , just like the scientific dialogues ; and [I]213-co. remembered all about it . It was once when [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had been telling [us]5313-us that a bullet does not go in a straight line , but in a something curve , and [he]193-mr farquhar drew some lines on a piece of paper ; and [Mimie--]210-mimie-- "[213-co.] " [Jemima]102-jemima , "[195-elizabeth] put in [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . " Well , well ! [she]102-jemima had treasured it up , and written in a corner , ' W. F. , April 3rd . ' Now , that 's rather like love , is not it ? For [Jemima]102-jemima hates useful information just as much as [I]195-elizabeth do , and that 's saying a great deal ; and yet [she]102-jemima had kept this paper , and dated it . "[195-elizabeth] " If that 's all , [I]213-co. know [Dick]214-dick keeps a paper with [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's name written on it , and yet [he]214-dick 's not in love with [her]102-jemima ; and perhaps [Jemima]102-jemima may like [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , and [he]193-mr farquhar may not like [her]102-jemima . It seems such a little while since [her]102-jemima hair was turned up , and [he]193-mr farquhar has always been [a grave middle - aged man]5314-a grave middle - aged man ever since [I]213-co. can recollect ; and then , have [you]195-elizabeth never noticed how often [he]193-mr farquhar finds fault with [her]102-jemima -- almost lectures [her]102-jemima ? "[213-co.] " To be sure , "[118-mary] said [Mary]118-mary ; " but [he]193-mr farquhar may be in love , for all that . Just think how often [papa]209-papa lectures [mamma]4143-mamma ; and yet , of course , [they]5316-they 're in love with [each other]579-each other . "[118-mary] " Well ! [we]5318-we shall see , "[195-elizabeth] said [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . [Poor Jemima]217-jemima little thought of the four sharp eyes that watched [her]217-jemima daily course while [she]217-jemima sat alone , as [she]217-jemima fancied , with [her]217-jemima secret in [[her]217-jemima own room]2447-her own room . For , in a passionate fit of grieving , at the impatient , hasty temper which had made [her]217-jemima so seriously displease [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar that [he]193-mr farquhar had gone away without remonstrance , without more leave - taking than a distant bow , [she]217-jemima had begun to suspect that rather than not be noticed at all by [him]193-mr farquhar , rather than be an object of indifference to [him]193-mr farquhar -- oh ! far rather would [she]217-jemima be [an object of anger and upbraiding]2448-an object of anger and upbraiding ; and the thoughts that followed this confession to [herself]217-jemima , stunned and bewildered [her]217-jemima ; and for once that they made [her]217-jemima dizzy with hope , ten times they made [her]217-jemima sick with fear . For an instant [she]217-jemima planned to become and to be all [he]193-mr farquhar could wish [her]217-jemima ; to change [her]217-jemima very nature for [him]193-mr farquhar . And then a great gush of pride came over [her]217-jemima , and [she]217-jemima set [her]217-jemima teeth tight together , and determined that [he]193-mr farquhar should either love [her]217-jemima as [she]217-jemima was , or not at all . Unless [he]193-mr farquhar could take [her]217-jemima with all [her]217-jemima faults , [she]217-jemima would not care for [his]193-mr farquhar regard ; " love "[217-jemima] was too noble a word to call such cold , calculating feeling as [his]193-mr farquhar must be , who went about with a pattern idea in [his]193-mr farquhar mind , trying to find [a wife to match]2449-a wife to match . Besides , there was something degrading , [Jemima]217-jemima thought , in trying to alter [herself]217-jemima to gain the love of [any human creature]2450-any human creature . And yet , if [he]193-mr farquhar did not care for [her]217-jemima , if this late indifference were to last , what a great shroud was drawn over life ! Could [she]217-jemima bear it ? From the agony [she]217-jemima dared not look at , but which [she]217-jemima was going to risk encountering , [she]217-jemima was aroused by the presence of [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother . " [Jemima]217-jemima ! [[your]217-jemima father]5319-your father wants to speak to [you]217-jemima in [the dining - room]5320-the dining - room . "[710-her mother] " What for ? "[1016-the girl] asked [the girl]1016-the girl . " Oh ! [he]5319-your father is fidgeted by something [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar said to [me]1016-the girl , and which [I]1016-the girl repeated . [I]1016-the girl am sure [I]1016-the girl thought there was no harm in it , and [[your]217-jemima father]5319-your father always likes [me]1016-the girl to tell [him]5319-your father what [everybody]505-everybody says in [his]5319-your father absence . "[1016-the girl] [Jemima]217-jemima went with a heavy heart into [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's presence . [He]411-her father was walking up and down [the room]357-the room , and did not see [her]217-jemima at first . " Oh , [Jemima]217-jemima ! is that [you]217-jemima ? Has [[your]217-jemima mother]4264-your mother told [you]217-jemima what [I]411-her father want to speak to [you]217-jemima about ? "[411-her father] " No ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima . " Not exactly . "[217-jemima] " [She]4264-your mother has been telling [me]411-her father what proves to [me]411-her father how very seriously [you]217-jemima must have displeased and offended [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , before [he]411-her father could have expressed [himself]411-her father to [her]4264-your mother as [he]411-her father did , when [he]411-her father left [the house]426-the house . [You]217-jemima know what [he]411-her father said ? "[411-her father] " No ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , [her]217-jemima heart swelling within [her]217-jemima . " [He]411-her father has no right to say anything about [me]217-jemima . "[217-jemima] [She]217-jemima was desperate , or [she]217-jemima durst not have said this before [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father . " No right!--what do [you]217-jemima mean , [Jemima]217-jemima ? "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , turning sharp round . " Surely [you]217-jemima must know that [I]149-mr bradshaw hope [he]411-her father may one day be [[your]217-jemima husband]5325-your husband ; that is to say , if [you]217-jemima prove [yourself]217-jemima worthy of the excellent training [I]149-mr bradshaw have given [you]217-jemima . [I]149-mr bradshaw can not suppose [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar would take [any undisciplined girl]5326-any undisciplined girl as [a wife]5327-a wife . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Jemima]217-jemima held tight by a chair near which [she]217-jemima was standing . [She]217-jemima did not speak ; [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father was pleased by [her]217-jemima silence -- it was the way in which [he]411-her father liked [his]411-her father projects to be received . " But [you]217-jemima can not suppose , "[411-her father] [he]411-her father continued , " that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar will consent to marry [you--]217-jemima "[411-her father] " Consent to marry [me]217-jemima ! "[217-jemima] repeated [Jemima]217-jemima , in a low tone of brooding indignation ; were those the terms upon which [[her]217-jemima rich woman]2457-her rich woman 's heart was to be given , with a calm consent of acquiescent acceptance , but a little above resignation on the part of [the receiver]2458-the receiver ? --"if [you]217-jemima give way to a temper which , although [you]217-jemima have never dared to show it to [me]411-her father , [I]411-her father am well aware exists , although [I]411-her father hoped the habits of self - examination [I]411-her father had instilled had done much to cure [you]217-jemima of manifesting it . At one time , [Richard]149-mr bradshaw promised to be the more headstrong of [the two]1675-the two ; now , [I]411-her father must desire [you]217-jemima to take pattern by [him]149-mr bradshaw . Yes , "[411-her father] [he]411-her father continued , falling into [his]411-her father old train of thought , " it would be a most fortunate connexion for [you]217-jemima in every way . [I]411-her father should have [you]217-jemima under [my]411-her father own eye , and could still assist [you]217-jemima in the formation of [your]217-jemima character , and [I]411-her father should be at hand to strengthen and confirm [your]217-jemima principles . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's connexion with [the firm]5329-the firm would be convenient and agreeable to [me]411-her father in a pecuniary point of view . [He--]193-mr farquhar "[411-her father] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was going on in [his]149-mr bradshaw enumeration of the advantages which [he]149-mr bradshaw in particular , and [Jemima]217-jemima in the second place , would derive from this marriage , when [[his]149-mr bradshaw daughter]2158-his daughter spoke , at first so low that [he]149-mr bradshaw could not hear [her]2158-his daughter , as [he]149-mr bradshaw walked up and down [the room]357-the room with [his]149-mr bradshaw creaking boots , and [he]149-mr bradshaw had to stop to listen . " Has [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ever spoken to [you]149-mr bradshaw about it ? "[217-jemima] [Jemima]217-jemima 's cheek was flushed as [she]217-jemima asked the question ; [she]217-jemima wished that [she]217-jemima might have been [the person to whom [he]149-mr bradshaw had first addressed [himself]149-mr bradshaw]2461-the person to whom he had first addressed himself . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw answered , " No , not spoken . It has been implied between [us]5330-us for some time . At least , [I]149-mr bradshaw have been so aware of [his]193-mr farquhar intentions that [I]149-mr bradshaw have made several allusions , in the course of business , to it , as a thing that might take place . [He]193-mr farquhar can hardly have misunderstood ; [he]193-mr farquhar must have seen that [I]149-mr bradshaw perceived [his]193-mr farquhar design , and approved of it , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , rather doubtfully ; as [he]149-mr bradshaw remembered how very little , in fact , passed between [him]149-mr bradshaw and [[his]149-mr bradshaw partner]2434-his partner which could have reference to the subject , to any but a mind prepared to receive it . Perhaps [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had not really thought of it ; but then again , that would imply that [his]193-mr farquhar own penetration had been mistaken , a thing not impossible certainly , but quite beyond the range of probability . So [he]149-mr bradshaw reassured [himself]149-mr bradshaw , and ( as [he]149-mr bradshaw thought ) [[his]149-mr bradshaw daughter]2158-his daughter , by saying , " The whole thing is so suitable -- the advantages arising from the connexion are so obvious ; besides which , [I]149-mr bradshaw am quite aware , from many little speeches of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's , that [he]193-mr farquhar contemplates marriage at no very distant time ; and [he]193-mr farquhar seldom leaves [Eccleston]36-eccleston , and visits [few families besides [our]5332-our own]5331-few families besides our own -- certainly , none that can compare with [ours]5332-our in the advantages [you]5333-you have all received in moral and religious training . "[149-mr bradshaw] But then [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was checked in [his]149-mr bradshaw implied praises of [himself]149-mr bradshaw ( and only [himself]149-mr bradshaw could be [[his]149-mr bradshaw martingale]2464-his martingale when [he]149-mr bradshaw once set out on such a career ) by a recollection that [Jemima]217-jemima must not feel too secure , as [she]217-jemima might become if [he]149-mr bradshaw dwelt too much on the advantages of [her]217-jemima being [[[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's daughter]2466-her father 's daughter . Accordingly , [he]149-mr bradshaw said : " But [you]217-jemima must be aware , [Jemima]217-jemima , that [you]217-jemima do very little credit to the education [I]149-mr bradshaw have given [you]217-jemima , when [you]217-jemima make such an impression as [you]217-jemima must have done to - day , before [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar could have said what [he]193-mr farquhar did of [you]217-jemima ! "[149-mr bradshaw] " What did [he]193-mr farquhar say ? "[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]217-jemima , still in the low , husky tone of suppressed anger . " [[Your]217-jemima mother]4264-your mother says [he]193-mr farquhar remarked to [her]4264-your mother , ' What a pity it is , that [Jemima]217-jemima can not maintain [her]217-jemima opinions without going into a passion ; and what a pity it is , that [her]217-jemima opinions are such as to sanction , rather than curb , these fits of rudeness and anger ! ' "[217-jemima] " Did [he]193-mr farquhar say that ? "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , in a still lower tone , not questioning [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father , but speaking rather to [herself]217-jemima . " [I]411-her father have no doubt [he]193-mr farquhar did , "[411-her father] replied [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father , gravely . " [[Your]217-jemima mother]4264-your mother is in the habit of repeating accurately to [me]411-her father what takes place in [my]411-her father absence ; besides which , the whole speech is not one of [hers]4264-your mother ; [she]4264-your mother has not altered a word in the repetition , [I]411-her father am convinced . [I]411-her father have trained [her]4264-your mother to habits of accuracy very unusual in [a woman]834-a woman . "[411-her father] At another time , [Jemima]217-jemima might have been inclined to rebel against this system of carrying constant intelligence to headquarters , which [she]217-jemima had long ago felt as an insurmountable obstacle to any free communication with [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother ; but now , [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's means of acquiring knowledge faded into insignificance before the nature of the information [he]411-her father imparted . [She]217-jemima stood quite still , grasping the chair - back , longing to be dismissed . " [I]217-jemima have said enough now , [I]217-jemima hope , to make [you]217-jemima behave in a becoming manner to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ; if [your]217-jemima temper is too unruly to be always under [your]217-jemima own control , at least have respect to [my]217-jemima injunctions , and take some pains to curb it before [him]193-mr farquhar . "[217-jemima] " May [I]217-jemima go ? "[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]217-jemima , chafing more and more . " [You]217-jemima may , "[411-her father] said [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father . When [she]217-jemima left [the room]357-the room [he]411-her father gently rubbed [his]411-her father hands together , satisfied with the effect [he]411-her father had produced , and wondering how it was , that one so well brought up as [[his]411-her father daughter]2158-his daughter could ever say or do anything to provoke such a remark from [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar as that which [he]411-her father had heard repeated . " Nothing can be more gentle and docile than [she]2158-his daughter is when spoken to in the proper manner . [I]149-mr bradshaw must give [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar a hint , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw to [himself]149-mr bradshaw . [Jemima]217-jemima rushed [upstairs]1186-upstairs , and locked [herself]217-jemima into [[her]217-jemima room]792-her room . [She]217-jemima began pacing up and down at first , without shedding a tear ; but then [she]217-jemima suddenly stopped , and burst out crying with passionate indignation . " So ! [I]217-jemima am to behave well , not because it is right -- not because it is right -- but to show off before [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . Oh , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ! "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima , suddenly changing to a sort of upbraiding tone of voice , " [I]217-jemima did not think so of [you]193-mr farquhar an hour ago . [I]217-jemima did not think [you]193-mr farquhar could choose [a wife]5327-a wife in that cold - hearted way , though [you]193-mr farquhar did profess to act by rule and line ; but [you]193-mr farquhar think to have [me]217-jemima , do [you]193-mr farquhar ? because it is fitting and suitable , and [you]193-mr farquhar want to be married , and ca n't spare time for wooing "[217-jemima] ( [she]217-jemima was lashing [herself]217-jemima up by an exaggeration of all [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father had said ) . " And how often [I]2477-i have thought [you]193-mr farquhar were too grand for [me]2477-i ! but now [I]2477-i know better . Now [I]2477-i can believe that all [you]193-mr farquhar do is done from calculation ; [you]193-mr farquhar are good because it adds to [your]193-mr farquhar business credit -- [you]193-mr farquhar talk in that high strain about principle because it sounds well , and is respectable -- and even these things are better than [your]193-mr farquhar cold way of looking out for [a wife]5327-a wife , just as [you]193-mr farquhar would do for [a carpet]5339-a carpet , to add to [your]193-mr farquhar comforts , and settle [you]193-mr farquhar respectably . But [I]2477-i wo n't be [that wife]5340-that wife . [You]193-mr farquhar shall see something of [me]2477-i which shall make [you]193-mr farquhar not acquiesce so quietly in the arrangements of the firm . "[2477-i] [She]2477-i cried too vehemently to go on thinking or speaking . Then [she]2477-i stopped , and said : " Only an hour ago [I]2477-i was hoping -- [I]2477-i do n't know what [I]2477-i was hoping -- but [I]2477-i thought -- oh ! how [I]2477-i was deceived!--I thought [he]193-mr farquhar had a true , deep , loving , manly heart , which [God]104-leonard might let [me]2477-i win ; but now [I]2477-i know [he]193-mr farquhar has only a calm , calculating head-- "[2477-i] If [Jemima]217-jemima had been vehement and passionate before this conversation with [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father , it was better than the sullen reserve [she]217-jemima assumed now whenever [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar came to [the house]426-the house . [He]193-mr farquhar felt it deeply ; no reasoning with [himself]193-mr farquhar took off the pain [he]193-mr farquhar experienced . [He]193-mr farquhar tried to speak on the subjects [she]217-jemima liked , in the manner [she]217-jemima liked , until [he]193-mr farquhar despised [himself]193-mr farquhar for the unsuccessful efforts . [He]193-mr farquhar stood between [her]217-jemima and [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father once or twice , in obvious inconsistency with [his]193-mr farquhar own previously expressed opinions ; and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw piqued [himself]149-mr bradshaw upon [his]149-mr bradshaw admirable management , in making [Jemima]217-jemima feel that [she]217-jemima owed [his]149-mr bradshaw indulgence or forbearance to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's interference ; but [Jemima]217-jemima -- [perverse , miserable Jemima]217-jemima -- thought that [she]217-jemima hated [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar all the more . [She]217-jemima respected [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father inflexible , much more than [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father pompously giving up to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's subdued remonstrances on [her]217-jemima behalf . Even [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was perplexed , and shut [himself]149-mr bradshaw up to consider how [Jemima]217-jemima was to be made more fully to understand [his]149-mr bradshaw wishes and [her]217-jemima own interests . But there was nothing to take hold of as a ground for any further conversation with [her]217-jemima . [Her]217-jemima actions were so submissive that they were spiritless ; [she]217-jemima did all [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father desired ; [she]217-jemima did it with a nervous quickness and haste , if [she]217-jemima thought that otherwise [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar would interfere in any way . [She]217-jemima wished evidently to owe nothing to [him]193-mr farquhar . [She]217-jemima had begun by leaving [the room]357-the room when [he]149-mr bradshaw came in , after the conversation [she]217-jemima had had with [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father ; but at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's first expression of [his]149-mr bradshaw wish that [she]217-jemima should remain , [she]217-jemima remained -- silent , indifferent , inattentive to all that was going on ; at least there was this appearance of inattention . [She]217-jemima would work away at [her]217-jemima sewing as if [she]217-jemima were to earn [her]217-jemima livelihood by it ; the light was gone out of [her]217-jemima eyes as [she]217-jemima lifted them up heavily before replying to any question , and the eyelids were often swollen with crying . But in all this there was no positive fault . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw could not have told [her]217-jemima not to do this , or to do that , without [her]217-jemima doing it ; for [she]217-jemima had become much more docile of late . It was a wonderful proof of the influence [Ruth]81-ruth had gained in [the family]693-the family , that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , after much deliberation , congratulated [himself]149-mr bradshaw on the wise determination [he]149-mr bradshaw had made of requesting [her]217-jemima to speak to [Jemima]217-jemima , and find out what feeling was at the bottom of all this change in [her]217-jemima ways of going on . [He]149-mr bradshaw rang the bell . " Is [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh [here]4172-here ? "[149-mr bradshaw] [he]149-mr bradshaw inquired of [the servant who answered it]2487-the servant who answered it . " Yes , [sir]4181-sir ; [she]156-mrs denbigh is just come . "[149-mr bradshaw] " Beg [her]156-mrs denbigh to come to [me]81-ruth in [this room]4221-this room as soon as [she]156-mrs denbigh can leave [the young ladies]5344-the young ladies . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth came . " Sit down , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ; sit down . [I]2488-i want to have a little conversation with [you]156-mrs denbigh ; not about [[your]156-mrs denbigh pupils]5345-your pupils , [they]5345-your pupils are going on well under [your]156-mrs denbigh care , [I]2488-i am sure ; and [I]2488-i often congratulate [myself]2488-i on the choice [I]2488-i made -- [I]2488-i assure [you]156-mrs denbigh [I]2488-i do . But now [I]2488-i want to speak to [you]156-mrs denbigh about [Jemima]217-jemima . [She]217-jemima is very fond of [you]156-mrs denbigh , and perhaps [you]156-mrs denbigh could take some opportunity of observing to [her]217-jemima -- in short , of saying to [her]217-jemima , that [she]217-jemima is behaving very foolishly -- in fact , disgusting [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ( who was , [I]2488-i know , inclined to like [her]217-jemima ) by the sullen , sulky way [she]217-jemima behaves in , when [he]193-mr farquhar is by . "[2488-i] [He]2488-i paused for the ready acquiescence [he]2488-i expected . But [Ruth]81-ruth did not quite comprehend what was required of [her]81-ruth , and disliked the glimpse [she]81-ruth had gained of the task very much . " [I]81-ruth hardly understand , [sir]4181-sir . [You]4181-sir are displeased with [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's manners to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . "[81-ruth] " Well , well ! not quite that ; [I]2488-i am displeased with [her]151-mrs bradshaw manners -- they are sulky and abrupt , particularly when [he]193-mr farquhar is by -- and [I]2488-i want [you]4181-sir ( of whom [she]151-mrs bradshaw is so fond ) to speak to [her]151-mrs bradshaw about it . "[2488-i] " But [I]81-ruth have never had the opportunity of noticing them . Whenever [I]81-ruth have seen [her]151-mrs bradshaw , [she]151-mrs bradshaw has been most gentle and affectionate . "[81-ruth] " But [I]149-mr bradshaw think [you]4181-sir do not hesitate to believe [me]149-mr bradshaw , when [I]149-mr bradshaw say that [I]149-mr bradshaw have noticed the reverse , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , drawing [himself]149-mr bradshaw up . " No , [sir]4181-sir . [I]81-ruth beg [your]4181-sir pardon if [I]81-ruth have expressed [myself]81-ruth so badly as to seem to doubt . But am [I]81-ruth to tell [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw that [you]149-mr bradshaw have spoken of [her]151-mrs bradshaw faults to [me]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , a little astonished , and shrinking more than ever from the proposed task . " If [you]149-mr bradshaw would allow [me]81-ruth to finish what [I]81-ruth have got to say , without interruption , [I]81-ruth could then tell [you]149-mr bradshaw what [I]81-ruth do wish . "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth beg [your]149-mr bradshaw pardon , [sir]4181-sir , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , gently . " [I]81-ruth wish [you]149-mr bradshaw to join [our]5349-our circle occasionally in an evening ; [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw shall send [you]149-mr bradshaw an invitation when [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar is likely to be [here]4172-here . Warned by [me]81-ruth , and , consequently , with [your]149-mr bradshaw observation quickened , [you]149-mr bradshaw can hardly fail to notice instances of what [I]81-ruth have pointed out ; and then [I]81-ruth will trust to [your]149-mr bradshaw own good sense "[81-ruth] ( [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw bowed to [her]81-ruth at this part of [his]149-mr bradshaw sentence ) " to find an opportunity to remonstrate with [her]151-mrs bradshaw . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth was beginning to speak , but [he]149-mr bradshaw waved [his]149-mr bradshaw hand for another minute of silence . " Only a minute , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . [I]149-mr bradshaw am quite aware that , in requesting [your]149-mr bradshaw presence occasionally in the evening , [I]149-mr bradshaw shall be trespassing upon the time which is , in fact , [your]149-mr bradshaw money ; [you]149-mr bradshaw may be assured that [I]149-mr bradshaw shall not forget this little circumstance , and [you]149-mr bradshaw can explain what [I]149-mr bradshaw have said on this head to [Benson]143-mr benson and [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister . "[149-mr bradshaw] " [I]81-ruth am afraid [I]81-ruth can not do it , "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth began ; but while [she]81-ruth was choosing words delicate enough to express [her]81-ruth reluctance to act as [he]149-mr bradshaw wished , [he]149-mr bradshaw had almost bowed [her]81-ruth out of [the room]357-the room ; and thinking that [she]81-ruth was modest in [her]81-ruth estimate of [her]81-ruth qualifications for remonstrating with [[his]149-mr bradshaw daughter]2158-his daughter , [he]149-mr bradshaw added , blandly , " [No one]517-no one so able , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . [I]149-mr bradshaw have observed many qualities in [you]81-ruth -- observed when , perhaps , [you]81-ruth have little thought it . "[149-mr bradshaw] If [he]149-mr bradshaw had observed [Ruth]81-ruth that morning , [he]149-mr bradshaw would have seen an absence of mind , and depression of spirits , not much to [her]81-ruth credit as [a teacher]2491-a teacher ; for [she]81-ruth could not bring [herself]81-ruth to feel that [she]81-ruth had any right to go into [the family]693-the family purposely to watch over and find fault with [any one member of it]2493-any one member of it . If [she]81-ruth had seen anything wrong in [Jemima]217-jemima , [Ruth]81-ruth loved [her]217-jemima so much that [she]81-ruth would have told [her]217-jemima of it in private ; and with many doubts , how far [she]81-ruth was the one to pull out the mote from [any one]425-any one 's eye , even in the most tender manner;--she would have had to conquer reluctance before [she]81-ruth could have done even this ; but there was something undefinably repugnant to [her]81-ruth in the manner of acting which [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had proposed , and [she]81-ruth determined not to accept the invitations which were to place [her]81-ruth in so false a position . But as [she]81-ruth was leaving [the house]426-the house , after the end of the lessons , while [she]81-ruth stood in [the hall]2496-the hall tying on [her]81-ruth bonnet , and listening to the last small confidences of [[her]81-ruth two pupils]2497-her two pupils , [she]81-ruth saw [Jemima]217-jemima coming in through [the garden]783-the garden - door , and was struck by the change in [her]217-jemima looks . The large eyes , so brilliant once , were dim and clouded ; the complexion sallow and colourless ; a lowering expression was on the dark brow , and the corners of [her]217-jemima mouth drooped as with sorrowful thoughts . [She]217-jemima looked up , and [her]217-jemima eyes met [Ruth]81-ruth 's . " Oh ! [[you]217-jemima beautiful creature]5353-you beautiful creature ! "[217-jemima] thought [Jemima]217-jemima , " with [your]217-jemima still , calm , heavenly face , what are [you]217-jemima to know of [earth]2018-earth 's trials ! [You]217-jemima have lost [[your]217-jemima beloved]5355-your beloved by death -- but that is a blessed sorrow ; the sorrow [I]217-jemima have pulls [me]217-jemima down and down , and makes [me]217-jemima despise and hate [every one]1129-every one -- not [you]217-jemima , though . "[217-jemima] And , [her]217-jemima face changing to a soft , tender look , [she]217-jemima went up to [Ruth]81-ruth , and kissed [her]81-ruth fondly ; as if it were a relief to be near [some one on whose true , pure heart [she]217-jemima relied]2499-some one on whose true , pure heart she relied . [Ruth]81-ruth returned the caress ; and even while [she]81-ruth did so , [she]81-ruth suddenly rescinded [her]81-ruth resolution to keep clear of what [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had desired [her]81-ruth to do . On [her]81-ruth way [home]4124-home [she]81-ruth resolved , if [she]81-ruth could , to find out what were [Jemima]217-jemima 's secret feelings ; and if ( as , from some previous knowledge , [she]81-ruth suspected ) they were morbid and exaggerated in any way , to try and help [her]81-ruth right with all the wisdom which true love gives . It was time that [some one]378-some one should come to still the storm in [Jemima]217-jemima 's turbulent heart , which was daily and [hourly]215-hourly knowing less and less of peace . The irritating difficulty was to separate [the two characters]2502-the two characters , which at two different times [she]81-ruth had attributed to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar -- the old one , which [she]81-ruth had formerly believed to be true , that [he]193-mr farquhar was [a man acting up to a high standard of lofty principle , and acting up without a struggle]2503-a man acting up to a high standard of lofty principle , and acting up without a struggle ( and this last had been the circumstance which had made [her]81-ruth rebellious and irritable once ) ; the new one , which [[her]81-ruth father]411-her father had excited in [her]81-ruth suspicious mind , that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was cold and calculating in all [he]193-mr farquhar did , and that [she]81-ruth was to be transferred by [the former]2505-the former , and accepted by [the latter]1745-the latter , as a sort of stock - in - trade -- these were [the two [Mr Farquhars]216-mr farquhars who clashed together in [her]81-ruth mind]2507-the two mr farquhars who clashed together in her mind . And in this state of irritation and prejudice , [she]81-ruth could not bear the way in which [he]193-mr farquhar gave up [his]193-mr farquhar opinions to please [her]81-ruth ; that was not the way to win [her]81-ruth ; [she]81-ruth liked [him]193-mr farquhar far better when [he]193-mr farquhar inflexibly and rigidly adhered to [his]193-mr farquhar idea of right and wrong , not even allowing any force to temptation , and hardly any grace to repentance , compared with that beauty of holiness which had never yielded to sin . [He]193-mr farquhar had been [[her]81-ruth idol]2508-her idol in those days , as [she]81-ruth found out now , however much at the time [she]81-ruth had opposed [him]193-mr farquhar with violence . As for [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , [he]193-mr farquhar was almost weary of [himself]193-mr farquhar ; no reasoning , even no principle , seemed to have influence over [him]193-mr farquhar , for [he]193-mr farquhar saw that [Jemima]217-jemima was not at all what [he]193-mr farquhar approved of in [woman]5218-woman . [He]193-mr farquhar saw [her]217-jemima uncurbed and passionate , affecting to despise the rules of life [he]193-mr farquhar held most sacred , and indifferent to , if not positively disliking [him]193-mr farquhar ; and yet [he]193-mr farquhar loved [her]217-jemima dearly . But [he]193-mr farquhar resolved to make a great effort of will , and break loose from these trammels of sense . And while [he]193-mr farquhar resolved , some old recollection would bring [her]217-jemima up , hanging on [his]193-mr farquhar arm , in all the confidence of early girlhood , looking up in [his]193-mr farquhar face with [her]217-jemima soft , dark eyes , and questioning [him]193-mr farquhar upon the mysterious subjects which had so much interest for both of [them]2510-them at that time , although [they]2510-them had become only matter for dissension in these later days . It was also true , as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had said , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar wished to marry , and had not much choice in [the small town of Eccleston]2511-the small town of eccleston . [He]193-mr farquhar never put this so plainly before [himself]193-mr farquhar , as a reason for choosing [Jemima]217-jemima , as [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father had done to [her]217-jemima ; but it was an unconscious motive all the same . However , now [he]193-mr farquhar had lectured [himself]193-mr farquhar into the resolution to make a pretty long absence from [Eccleston]36-eccleston , and see if , amongst [[his]193-mr farquhar distant friends]2513-his distant friends , there was [no woman]2514-no woman more in accordance with [his]193-mr farquhar ideal , who could put the naughty , wilful , plaguing [Jemima Bradshaw]217-jemima out of [his]193-mr farquhar head , if [he]193-mr farquhar did not soon perceive some change in [her]217-jemima for the better . A few days after [Ruth]81-ruth 's conversation with [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , the invitation [she]81-ruth had been expecting , yet dreading , came . It was to [her]81-ruth alone . [Mr]2515-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson were pleased at the compliment to [her]81-ruth , and urged [her]81-ruth acceptance of it . [She]81-ruth wished that [they]2516-they had been included ; [she]81-ruth had not thought it right , or kind to [Jemima]217-jemima , to tell [them]2516-they why [she]81-ruth was going , and [she]81-ruth feared now lest [they]2516-they should feel a little hurt that [they]2516-they were not asked too . But [she]81-ruth need not have been afraid . [They]2516-they were glad and proud of the attention to [her]81-ruth , and never thought of [themselves]2516-they . " [Ruthie]81-ruth , what gown shall [you]81-ruth wear to - night ? [your]81-ruth dark grey one , [I]143-mr benson suppose ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " Yes , [I]143-mr benson suppose so . [I]143-mr benson never thought of it ; but that is [my]143-mr benson best . "[143-mr benson] " Well ; then , [I]81-ruth shall quill up a ruff for [you]81-ruth . [You]81-ruth know [I]81-ruth am [a famous quiller of net]5357-a famous quiller of net . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth came [downstairs]4556-downstairs with a little flush on [her]81-ruth cheeks when [she]81-ruth was ready to go . [She]81-ruth held [her]81-ruth bonnet and shawl in [her]81-ruth hand , for [she]81-ruth knew [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Sally]148-sally would want to see [her]81-ruth dressed . " Is not [mamma]113-mamma pretty ? "[104-leonard] asked [Leonard]104-leonard , with [a child]556-a child 's pride . " [She]113-mamma looks very nice and tidy , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , who had an idea that [children]1146-children should not talk or think about beauty . " [I]81-ruth think [my]81-ruth ruff looks so nice , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , with gentle pleasure . And indeed it did look nice , and set off the pretty round throat most becomingly . [Her]81-ruth hair , now grown long and thick , was smoothed as close to [her]81-ruth head as its waving nature would allow , and plaited up in a great rich knot low down behind . The grey gown was as plain as plain could be . " [You]81-ruth should have light gloves , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . [She]81-ruth went [upstairs]1186-upstairs , and brought down a delicate pair of Limerick ones , which had been long treasured up in a walnut - shell . " [They]5358-they say them gloves is made of chickens'-skins , "[148-sally] said [Sally]148-sally , examining them curiously . " [I]148-sally wonder how [they]5358-they set about skinning 'em . "[148-sally] " Here , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , coming in from [the garden]783-the garden , " here 's a rose or two for [you]81-ruth . [I]143-mr benson am sorry there are no more ; [I]143-mr benson hoped [I]143-mr benson should have had [my]143-mr benson yellow rose out by this time , but the damask and the white are in a warmer corner , and have got the start . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Leonard]104-leonard stood at the door , and watched [her]81-ruth down [the little passage - street]2522-the little passage - street till [she]81-ruth was out of sight . [She]81-ruth had hardly touched the bell at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's door , when [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth opened it with boisterous glee . " [We]5359-we saw [you]81-ruth coming -- [we've]5359-we been watching for [you]81-ruth -- [we]5359-we want [you]81-ruth to come round [the garden]783-the garden before tea ; [papa]4310-papa is not come in yet . Do come ! "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth went round [the garden]783-the garden with [a little girl]2524-a little girl clinging to each arm . [It]783-the garden was full of sunshine and flowers , and this made the contrast between [it]783-the garden and [the usual large family room ( which fronted [the north - east]2526-the north - east , and therefore had no evening sun to light up [its]783-the garden cold , drab furniture]2525-the usual large family room ( which fronted the north - east , and therefore had no evening sun to light up its cold , drab furniture ) more striking than usual . [It]783-the garden looked very gloomy . There was the great dining - table , heavy and square ; the range of chairs , straight and square ; the work - boxes , useful and square ; the colouring of walls , and carpet , and curtains , all of the coldest description ; everything was handsome , and everything was ugly . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw was asleep in [her]151-mrs bradshaw easy - chair when [they]2527-they came in . [Jemima]217-jemima had just put down [her]217-jemima work , and , lost in thought , [she]217-jemima leant [her]217-jemima cheek on [her]217-jemima hand . When [she]217-jemima saw [Ruth]81-ruth [she]217-jemima brightened a little , and went to [her]81-ruth and kissed [her]81-ruth . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw jumped up at the sound of [their]2527-they entrance , and was wide awake in a moment . " Oh ! [I]151-mrs bradshaw thought [[your]151-mrs bradshaw father]5319-your father was [here]4172-here , "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [she]151-mrs bradshaw , evidently relieved to find that [he]2528-he had not come in and caught [her]151-mrs bradshaw sleeping . " Thank [you]2528-he , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , for coming to [us]2527-they to - night , "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [she]151-mrs bradshaw , in the quiet tone in which [she]151-mrs bradshaw generally spoke in [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband 's absence . When [he]2528-he was [there]332-there , a sort of constant terror of displeasing [him]2528-he made [her]151-mrs bradshaw voice sharp and nervous ; [the children]550-the children knew that many a thing passed over by [[their]550-the children mother]2532-their mother when [[their]550-the children father]2183-their father was away , was sure to be noticed by [her]151-mrs bradshaw when [he]2528-he was present ; and noticed , too , in a cross and querulous manner , for [she]151-mrs bradshaw was so much afraid of the blame which on any occasion of [their]550-the children misbehaviour fell upon [her]151-mrs bradshaw . And yet [she]151-mrs bradshaw looked up to [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband with a reverence and regard , and a faithfulness of love , which [his]2528-he decision of character was likely to produce on a weak and anxious mind . [He]2528-he was [a rest and a support to [her]151-mrs bradshaw , on whom [she]151-mrs bradshaw cast all [her]151-mrs bradshaw responsibilities]2535-a rest and a support to her , on whom she cast all her responsibilities ; [she]151-mrs bradshaw was [an obedient , unremonstrating wife to [him]2528-he]2536-an obedient , unremonstrating wife to him ; no stronger affection had ever brought [her]151-mrs bradshaw duty to [him]2528-he into conflict with any desire of [her]151-mrs bradshaw heart . [She]151-mrs bradshaw loved [[her]151-mrs bradshaw children]2362-her children dearly , though [they]2362-her children all perplexed [her]151-mrs bradshaw very frequently . [[Her]151-mrs bradshaw son]990-her son was [[her]151-mrs bradshaw especial darling]2539-her especial darling , because [he]990-her son very seldom brought [her]151-mrs bradshaw into any scrapes with [[his]990-her son father]658-his father ; [he]990-her son was so cautious and prudent , and had the art of " keeping a calm sough "[990-her son] about any difficulty [he]990-her son might be in . With all [her]151-mrs bradshaw dutiful sense of the obligation , which [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband enforced upon [her]151-mrs bradshaw , to notice and tell [him]730-her husband everything that was going wrong in [the household]1179-the household , and especially among [[his]730-her husband children]5138-his children , [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , somehow , contrived to be honestly blind to a good deal that was not praiseworthy in [Master Richard]149-mr bradshaw . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw came in before long , bringing with [him]149-mr bradshaw [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . [Jemima]217-jemima had been talking to [Ruth]81-ruth with some interest before then ; but , on seeing [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , [she]217-jemima bent [her]217-jemima head down over [her]217-jemima work , went a little paler , and turned obstinately silent . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw longed to command [her]151-mrs bradshaw to speak ; but even [he]149-mr bradshaw had a suspicion that what [she]151-mrs bradshaw might say , when so commanded , might be rather worse in its effect than [her]151-mrs bradshaw gloomy silence ; so [he]149-mr bradshaw held [his]149-mr bradshaw peace , and a discontented , angry kind of peace it was . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw saw that something was wrong , but could not tell what ; only [she]151-mrs bradshaw became every moment more trembling , and nervous , and irritable , and sent [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth off on all sorts of contradictory errands to [the servants]2544-the servants , and made the tea twice as strong , and sweetened it twice as much as usual , in hopes of pacifying [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband with good things . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had gone for the last time , or so [he]193-mr farquhar thought . [He]193-mr farquhar had resolved ( for the fifth time ) that [he]193-mr farquhar would go and watch [Jemima]217-jemima once more , and if [her]217-jemima temper got the better of [her]217-jemima , and [she]217-jemima showed the old sullenness again , and gave the old proofs of indifference to [his]193-mr farquhar good opinion , [he]193-mr farquhar would give [her]217-jemima up altogether , and seek [a wife]5327-a wife elsewhere . [He]193-mr farquhar sat watching [her]217-jemima with folded arms , and in silence . Altogether [they]2547-they were [a pleasant family party]2548-a pleasant family party ! [Jemima]217-jemima wanted to wind a skein of wool . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar saw it , and came to [her]217-jemima , anxious to do [her]217-jemima this little service . [She]217-jemima turned away pettishly , and asked [Ruth]81-ruth to hold it for [her]217-jemima . [Ruth]81-ruth was hurt for [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , and looked sorrowfully at [Jemima]217-jemima ; but [Jemima]217-jemima would not see [her]81-ruth glance of upbraiding , as [Ruth]81-ruth , hoping that [she]81-ruth would relent , delayed a little to comply with [her]81-ruth request . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar did ; and went back to [his]193-mr farquhar seat to watch [them]2549-their both . [He]193-mr farquhar saw [Jemima]217-jemima turbulent and stormy in look ; [he]193-mr farquhar saw [Ruth]81-ruth , to all appearance heavenly calm as the angels , or with only that little tinge of sorrow which [[her]81-ruth friend]431-her friend 's behaviour had called forth . [He]193-mr farquhar saw the unusual beauty of [her]217-jemima face and form , which [he]193-mr farquhar had never noticed before ; and [he]193-mr farquhar saw [Jemima]217-jemima , with all the brilliancy [she]217-jemima once possessed in eyes and complexion , dimmed and faded . [He]193-mr farquhar watched [Ruth]81-ruth , speaking low and soft to [the little girls]2551-the little girls , who seemed to come to [her]81-ruth in every difficulty ; and [he]193-mr farquhar remarked [her]217-jemima gentle firmness when [their]2549-their bedtime came , and [they]2549-their pleaded to stay up longer ( [[their]2549-their father]2183-their father was absent in [[his]2183-their father counting - house]2553-his counting - house , or [they]2549-their would not have dared to do so ) . [He]193-mr farquhar liked [Ruth]81-ruth 's soft , distinct , unwavering " No ! [you]81-ruth must go . [You]81-ruth must keep to what is right , "[81-ruth] far better than the good - natured yielding to entreaty [he]193-mr farquhar had formerly admired in [Jemima]217-jemima . [He]193-mr farquhar was wandering off into this comparison , while [Ruth]81-ruth , with delicate and unconscious tact , was trying to lead [Jemima]217-jemima into some subject which should take [her]217-jemima away from the thoughts , whatever they were , that made [her]217-jemima so ungracious and rude . [Jemima]217-jemima was ashamed of [herself]217-jemima before [Ruth]81-ruth , in a way which [she]217-jemima had never been before [any one else]4234-any one else . [She]217-jemima valued [Ruth]81-ruth 's good opinion so highly , that [she]217-jemima dreaded lest [[her]217-jemima friend]431-her friend should perceive [her]217-jemima faults . [She]217-jemima put a check upon [herself]217-jemima -- a check at first ; but after a little time [she]217-jemima had forgotten something of [her]217-jemima trouble , and listened to [Ruth]81-ruth , and questioned [her]217-jemima about [Leonard]104-leonard , and smiled at [his]104-leonard little witticisms ; and only the sighs , that would come up from the very force of habit , brought back the consciousness of [her]217-jemima unhappiness . Before the end of the evening , [Jemima]217-jemima had allowed [herself]217-jemima to speak to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar in the old way -- questioning , differing , disputing . [She]217-jemima was recalled to the remembrance of that miserable conversation by the entrance of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father . After that [she]217-jemima was silent . But [he]193-mr farquhar had seen [her]217-jemima face more animated , and bright with a smile , as [she]217-jemima spoke to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ; and although [he]193-mr farquhar regretted the loss of [her]217-jemima complexion ( for [she]217-jemima was still very pale ) , [he]193-mr farquhar was highly pleased with the success of [his]193-mr farquhar project . [He]193-mr farquhar never doubted but that [Ruth]81-ruth had given [her]217-jemima some sort of private exhortation to behave better . [He]193-mr farquhar could not have understood the pretty art with which , by simply banishing unpleasant subjects , and throwing a wholesome natural sunlit tone over others , [Ruth]81-ruth had insensibly drawn [Jemima]217-jemima out of [her]217-jemima gloom . [He]193-mr farquhar resolved to buy [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh a handsome silk gown the very next day . [He]193-mr farquhar did not believe [she]156-mrs denbigh had a silk gown , [poor creature]2557-poor creature ! [He]193-mr farquhar had noticed that dark grey stuff , this long , long time , as [her]156-mrs denbigh Sunday dress . [He]193-mr farquhar liked the colour ; the silk one should be just the same tinge . Then [he]193-mr farquhar thought that it would , perhaps , be better to choose a lighter shade , one which might be noticed as different to the old gown . For [he]193-mr farquhar had no doubt [she]156-mrs denbigh would like to have it remarked , and , perhaps , would not object to tell [people]322-people , that it was a present from [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw -- a token of [his]149-mr bradshaw approbation . [He]193-mr farquhar smiled a little to [himself]193-mr farquhar as [he]193-mr farquhar thought of this additional source of pleasure to [Ruth]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth , in the meantime , was getting up to go [home]4124-home . While [Jemima]217-jemima was lighting the bed - candle at the lamp , [Ruth]81-ruth came round to bid good night . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw could not allow [her]156-mrs denbigh to remain till the morrow , uncertain whether [he]149-mr bradshaw was satisfied or not . " Good night , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , "[193-mr farquhar] said [he]193-mr farquhar . " Good night . Thank [you]156-mrs denbigh . [I]193-mr farquhar am obliged to [you]156-mrs denbigh -- [I]193-mr farquhar am exceedingly obliged to [you]156-mrs denbigh . "[193-mr farquhar] [He]193-mr farquhar laid emphasis on these words , for [he]193-mr farquhar was pleased to see [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar step forward to help [Jemima]217-jemima in [[her]217-jemima little office]2560-her little office . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar offered to accompany [Ruth]81-ruth [home]4124-home ; but [the streets]297-the streets that intervened between [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's and [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house were so quiet that [he]193-mr farquhar desisted , when [he]193-mr farquhar learnt from [Ruth]81-ruth 's manner how much [she]81-ruth disliked [his]193-mr farquhar proposal . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , too , instantly observed : " Oh ! [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh need not trouble [you]193-mr farquhar , [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . [I]149-mr bradshaw have [servants]831-servants at liberty at any moment to attend on [her]217-jemima , if [she]217-jemima wishes it . "[149-mr bradshaw] In fact , [he]149-mr bradshaw wanted to make hay while the sun shone , and to detain [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar a little longer , now that [Jemima]217-jemima was so gracious . [She]217-jemima went [upstairs]1186-upstairs with [Ruth]81-ruth to help [her]217-jemima to put on [her]217-jemima things . " [Dear Jemima]217-jemima ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , " [I]81-ruth am so glad to see [you]217-jemima looking better to - night ! [You]217-jemima quite frightened [me]81-ruth this morning , [you]217-jemima looked so ill . "[81-ruth] " Did [I]217-jemima ? "[217-jemima] replied [Jemima]217-jemima . " Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth ! [I]217-jemima have been so unhappy lately . [I]217-jemima want [you]81-ruth to come and put [me]217-jemima to rights , "[217-jemima] [she]217-jemima continued , half smiling . " [You]81-ruth know [I]217-jemima 'm [a sort of out - pupil of [yours]81-ruth]5365-a sort of out - pupil of yours , though [we]5366-we are so nearly of an age . [You]81-ruth ought to lecture [me]217-jemima , and make [me]217-jemima good . "[217-jemima] " Should [I]81-ruth , [dear]4155-dear ? "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " [I]217-jemima do n't think [I]217-jemima 'm the one to do it . "[217-jemima] " Oh , yes ! [you]81-ruth are -- [you've]81-ruth done [me]217-jemima good to - night . "[217-jemima] " Well , if [I]81-ruth can do anything for [you]81-ruth , tell [me]81-ruth what it is ? "[81-ruth] asked [Ruth]81-ruth , tenderly . " Oh , not now -- not now , "[217-jemima] replied [Jemima]217-jemima . " [I]81-ruth could not tell [you]81-ruth here . It 's a long story , and [I]81-ruth do n't know that [I]81-ruth can tell [you]81-ruth at all . [Mamma]113-mamma might come up at any moment , and [papa]4310-papa would be sure to ask what [we]5369-we had been talking about so long . "[81-ruth] " Take [your]81-ruth own time , love , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth ; " only remember , as far as [I]81-ruth can , how glad [I]81-ruth am to help [you]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] " [You]81-ruth 're too good , [[my]217-jemima darling]4347-my darling ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , fondly . " Do n't say so , "[81-ruth] replied [Ruth]81-ruth , earnestly , almost as if [she]81-ruth were afraid . " [God]104-leonard knows [I]81-ruth am not . "[81-ruth] " Well ! [we]5369-we 're none of [us]5369-we too good , "[217-jemima] answered [Jemima]217-jemima ; " [I]217-jemima know that . But [you]81-ruth _ are _ very good . Nay , [I]217-jemima wo n't call [you]81-ruth so , if it makes [you]81-ruth look so miserable . But come away [downstairs]4556-downstairs . "[217-jemima] With the fragrance of [Ruth]81-ruth 's sweetness lingering about [her]81-ruth , [Jemima]217-jemima was [her]81-ruth best self during the next half - hour . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was more and more pleased , and raised the price of the silk , which [he]149-mr bradshaw was going to give [Ruth]81-ruth , sixpence a yard during the time . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar went [home]4124-home through [the garden]783-the garden - way , happier than [he]193-mr farquhar had been this long time . [He]193-mr farquhar even caught [himself]193-mr farquhar humming the old refrain : On revient , on revient toujours , A ses premiers amours . But as soon as [he]193-mr farquhar was aware of what [he]193-mr farquhar was doing , [he]193-mr farquhar cleared away the remnants of the song into a cough , which was sonorous , if not perfectly real . CHAPTER XXI [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's Attentions Transferred The next morning , as [Jemima]217-jemima and [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother sat at [their]2568-their work , it came into the head of [the former]2505-the former to remember [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's very marked way of thanking [Ruth]81-ruth the evening before . " What a favourite [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh is with [papa]4310-papa , "[710-her mother] said [she]710-her mother . " [I]710-her mother am sure [I]710-her mother do n't wonder at it . Did [you]151-mrs bradshaw notice , [mamma]4143-mamma , how [he]4310-papa thanked [her]156-mrs denbigh for coming [here]4172-here last night ? "[710-her mother] " Yes , [dear]4155-dear ; but [I]151-mrs bradshaw do n't think it was all-- "[151-mrs bradshaw] [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw stopped short . [She]151-mrs bradshaw was never certain if it was right or wrong to say anything . " Not all what ? "[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]217-jemima , when [she]217-jemima saw [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother was not going to finish the sentence . " Not all because [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh came to tea here , "[151-mrs bradshaw] replied [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw . " Why , what else could [he]4310-papa be thanking [her]156-mrs denbigh for ? What has [she]156-mrs denbigh done ? "[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]217-jemima , stimulated to curiosity by [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother 's hesitating manner . " [I]151-mrs bradshaw do n't know if [I]151-mrs bradshaw ought to tell [you]217-jemima , "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw . " Oh , very well ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , rather annoyed . " Nay , [dear]4155-dear ! [[your]4155-dear papa]5377-your papa never said [I]217-jemima was not to tell ; perhaps [I]217-jemima may . "[217-jemima] " Never mind ! [I]151-mrs bradshaw do n't want to hear , "[151-mrs bradshaw] in a piqued tone . There was silence for a little while . [Jemima]217-jemima was trying to think of something else , but [her]217-jemima thoughts would revert to the wonder what [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh could have done for [[her]156-mrs denbigh father]411-her father . " [I]151-mrs bradshaw think [I]151-mrs bradshaw may tell [you]217-jemima , though , "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , half questioning . [Jemima]217-jemima had the honour not to urge any confidence , but [she]217-jemima was too curious to take any active step towards repressing it . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw went on . " [I]151-mrs bradshaw think [you]217-jemima deserve to know . It is partly [your]217-jemima doing that [papa]4310-papa is so pleased with [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . [He]4310-papa is going to buy [her]156-mrs denbigh a silk gown this morning , and [I]151-mrs bradshaw think [you]217-jemima ought to know why . "[151-mrs bradshaw] " Why ? "[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]217-jemima . " Because [papa]4310-papa is so pleased to find that [you]217-jemima mind what [she]156-mrs denbigh says . "[151-mrs bradshaw] " [I]217-jemima mind what [she]156-mrs denbigh says ! To be sure [I]217-jemima do , and always did . But why should [papa]4310-papa give [her]156-mrs denbigh a gown for that ? [I]217-jemima think [he]4310-papa ought to give it [me]217-jemima rather , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , half laughing . " [I]217-jemima am sure [he]4310-papa would , [dear]4155-dear ; [he]4310-papa will give [you]217-jemima one , [I]217-jemima am certain , if [you]217-jemima want one . [He]4310-papa was so pleased to see [you]217-jemima like [your]217-jemima old self to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar last night . [We]5382-we neither of [us]5382-we could think what had come over [you]217-jemima this last month ; but now all seems right . "[217-jemima] A dark cloud came over [Jemima]217-jemima 's face . [She]217-jemima did not like this close observation and constant comment upon [her]217-jemima manners ; and what had [Ruth]81-ruth to do with it ? " [I]217-jemima am glad [you]217-jemima were pleased , "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima , very coldly . Then , after a pause , [she]217-jemima added , " But [you]217-jemima have not told [me]217-jemima what [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh had to do with [my]217-jemima good behaviour . "[217-jemima] " Did not [she]156-mrs denbigh speak to [you]217-jemima about it ? "[151-mrs bradshaw] asked [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , looking up . " No ; why should [she]156-mrs denbigh ? [She]156-mrs denbigh has no right to criticise what [I]217-jemima do . [She]156-mrs denbigh would not be so impertinent , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , feeling very uncomfortable and suspicious . " Yes , love ! [she]156-mrs denbigh would have had a right , for [papa]4310-papa had desired [her]156-mrs denbigh to do it . "[217-jemima] " [Papa]209-papa desired [her]156-mrs denbigh ! What do [you]217-jemima mean , [mamma]4143-mamma ? "[217-jemima] " Oh , [dear]4155-dear ! [I]151-mrs bradshaw dare say [I]151-mrs bradshaw should not have told [you]4155-dear , "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , perceiving , from [Jemima]217-jemima 's tone of voice , that something had gone wrong . " Only [you]4155-dear spoke as if it would be impertinent in [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , and [I]151-mrs bradshaw am sure [she]156-mrs denbigh would not do anything that was impertinent . [You]4155-dear know , it would be but right for [her]156-mrs denbigh to do what [papa]4310-papa told [her]156-mrs denbigh ; and [he]4310-papa said a great deal to [her]156-mrs denbigh , the other day , about finding out why [you]4155-dear were so cross , and bringing [you]4155-dear right . And [you]4155-dear are right now , [dear]4155-dear ! "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , soothingly , thinking that [Jemima]217-jemima was annoyed ( like [a good child]2574-a good child ) at the recollection of how naughty [she]217-jemima had been . " Then [papa]4310-papa is going to give [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh a gown because [I]151-mrs bradshaw was civil to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar last night ? "[151-mrs bradshaw] " Yes , [dear]4155-dear ! "[151-mrs bradshaw] said [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , more and more frightened at [Jemima]217-jemima 's angry manner of speaking -- low - toned , but very indignant . [Jemima]217-jemima remembered , with smouldered anger , [Ruth]81-ruth 's pleading way of wiling [her]81-ruth from [her]81-ruth sullenness the night before . Management everywhere ! but in this case it was peculiarly revolting ; so much so , that [she]217-jemima could hardly bear to believe that the seemingly - transparent [Ruth]81-ruth had lent [herself]81-ruth to it . " Are [you]4155-dear sure , [mamma]4143-mamma , that [papa]4310-papa asked [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh to make [me]81-ruth behave differently ? It seems so strange . "[81-ruth] " [I]217-jemima am quite sure . [He]4310-papa spoke to [her]156-mrs denbigh last Friday morning in [the study]1738-the study . [I]217-jemima remember it was Friday , because [Mrs Dean]218-mrs dean was working [here]4172-here . "[217-jemima] [Jemima]217-jemima remembered now that [she]217-jemima had gone into [the school - room]2575-the school - room on the Friday , and found [[her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters lounging about , and wondering what [papa]4310-papa could possibly want with [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . After this conversation , [Jemima]217-jemima repulsed all [Ruth]81-ruth 's timid efforts to ascertain the cause of [her]81-ruth disturbance , and to help [her]81-ruth if [she]217-jemima could . [Ruth]81-ruth 's tender , sympathising manner , as [she]81-ruth saw [Jemima]217-jemima daily looking more wretched , was distasteful to [the latter]1745-the latter in the highest degree . [She]217-jemima could not say that [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's conduct was positively wrong -- it might even be quite right ; but it was inexpressibly repugnant to [her]217-jemima to think of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father consulting with [a stranger]2130-a stranger ( a week ago [she]217-jemima almost considered [Ruth]81-ruth as [a sister]2581-a sister ) how to manage [[his]411-her father daughter]2158-his daughter , so as to obtain the end [he]411-her father wished for ; yes , even if that end was for [her]217-jemima own good . [She]217-jemima was thankful and glad to see a brown paper parcel lying on the hall - table , with a note in [Ruth]81-ruth 's handwriting , addressed to [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father . [She]217-jemima _ knew _ what it was , the grey silk dress . That [she]217-jemima was sure [Ruth]81-ruth would never accept . [No one henceforward]2584-no one henceforward could induce [Jemima]217-jemima to enter into conversation with [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . [She]217-jemima suspected manoeuvring in the simplest actions , and was miserable in this constant state of suspicion . [She]217-jemima would not allow [herself]217-jemima to like [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , even when [he]193-mr farquhar said things the most after [her]217-jemima own heart . [She]217-jemima heard [him]193-mr farquhar , one evening , talking with [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father about the principles of trade . [[Her]217-jemima father]411-her father stood out for the keenest , sharpest work , consistent with honesty ; if [he]411-her father had not been [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father [she]217-jemima would , perhaps , have thought some of [his]193-mr farquhar sayings inconsistent with true Christian honesty . [He]193-mr farquhar was for driving hard bargains , exacting interest and payment of just bills to a day . That was ( [he]193-mr farquhar said ) the only way in which trade could be conducted . Once allow a margin of uncertainty , or where feelings , instead of maxims , were to be the guide , and all hope of there ever being [any good men of business]2588-any good men of business was ended . " Suppose a delay of a month in requiring payment might save [a man]650-a man 's credit -- prevent [his]650-a man becoming [a bankrupt]5395-a bankrupt ? "[193-mr farquhar] put in [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . " [I]193-mr farquhar would not give it [him]650-a man . [I]193-mr farquhar would let [him]650-a man have money to set up again as soon as [he]650-a man had passed the Bankruptcy Court ; if [he]650-a man never passed , [I]193-mr farquhar might , in some cases , make [him]650-a man an allowance ; but [I]193-mr farquhar would always keep [my]193-mr farquhar justice and [my]193-mr farquhar charity separate . "[193-mr farquhar] " And yet charity ( in [your]193-mr farquhar sense of the word ) degrades ; justice , tempered with mercy and consideration , elevates . "[193-mr farquhar] " That is not justice -- justice is certain and inflexible . No ! [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , [you]193-mr farquhar must not allow any Quixotic notions to mingle with [your]193-mr farquhar conduct as [a tradesman]5396-a tradesman . "[193-mr farquhar] And so [they]2589-they went on ; [Jemima]217-jemima 's face glowing with sympathy in all [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar said ; till once , on looking up suddenly with sparkling eyes , [she]217-jemima saw a glance of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's which told [her]217-jemima , as plain as words could say , that [he]193-mr farquhar was watching the effect of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's speeches upon [[his]193-mr farquhar daughter]2158-his daughter . [She]217-jemima was chilled thenceforward ; [she]217-jemima thought [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father prolonged the argument , in order to call out those sentiments which [he]193-mr farquhar knew would most recommend [[his]193-mr farquhar partner]2434-his partner to [[his]193-mr farquhar daughter]2158-his daughter . [She]217-jemima would so fain have let [herself]217-jemima love [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ; but this constant manoeuvring , in which [she]217-jemima did not feel clear that [he]193-mr farquhar did not take a passive part , made [her]217-jemima sick at heart . [She]217-jemima even wished that [they]2595-their might not go through the form of pretending to try to gain [her]217-jemima consent to the marriage , if it involved all this premeditated action and speech - making -- such moving about of every one into [their]2595-their right places , like pieces at chess . [She]217-jemima felt as if [she]217-jemima would rather be bought openly , like [an Oriental daughter]2596-an oriental daughter , where [no one]517-no one is degraded in [their]2595-their own eyes by being [parties to such a contract]2598-parties to such a contract . The consequences of all this " admirable management "[149-mr bradshaw] of [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's would have been very unfortunate to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ( who was innocent of all connivance in any of the plots -- indeed , would have been as much annoyed at [them]2599-them as [Jemima]217-jemima , had [he]193-mr farquhar been aware of them ) , but that the impression made upon [him]193-mr farquhar by [Ruth]81-ruth on the evening [I]0-i have so lately described , was deepened by the contrast which [her]81-ruth behaviour made to [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's on one or two more recent occasions . There was no use , [he]193-mr farquhar thought , in continuing attentions so evidently distasteful to [Jemima]217-jemima . To [her]217-jemima , [a young girl hardly out of [the schoolroom]2601-the schoolroom]2600-a young girl hardly out of the schoolroom , [he]193-mr farquhar probably appeared like [an old man]2602-an old man ; and [he]193-mr farquhar might even lose the friendship with which [she]217-jemima used to regard [him]193-mr farquhar , and which was , and ever would be , very dear to [him]193-mr farquhar , if [he]193-mr farquhar persevered in trying to be considered as [a lover]993-a lover . [He]193-mr farquhar should always feel affectionately towards [her]217-jemima ; [her]217-jemima very faults gave [her]217-jemima an interest in [his]193-mr farquhar eyes , for which [he]193-mr farquhar had blamed [himself]193-mr farquhar most conscientiously and most uselessly when [he]193-mr farquhar was looking upon [her]217-jemima as [[his]193-mr farquhar future wife]2604-his future wife , but which [the said conscience]2605-the said conscience would learn to approve of when [she]217-jemima sank down to the place of [a young friend]2606-a young friend , over whom [he]193-mr farquhar might exercise a good and salutary interest . [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , if not many months older in years , had known sorrow and cares so early that [she]217-jemima was much older in character . Besides , [her]217-jemima shy reserve , and [her]217-jemima quiet daily walk within the lines of duty , were much in accordance with [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's notion of what [a wife]5327-a wife should be . Still , it was a wrench to take [his]193-mr farquhar affections away from [Jemima]217-jemima . If [she]217-jemima had not helped [him]193-mr farquhar to do so by every means in [her]217-jemima power , [he]193-mr farquhar could never have accomplished it . Yes ! by every means in [her]217-jemima power had [Jemima]217-jemima alienated [[her]217-jemima lover]1247-her lover , [[her]217-jemima beloved]2609-her beloved -- for so [he]193-mr farquhar was in fact . And now [her]217-jemima quick - sighted eyes saw [he]193-mr farquhar was gone for ever -- past recall ; for did not [her]217-jemima jealous , sore heart feel , even before [he]193-mr farquhar [himself]193-mr farquhar was conscious of the fact , that [he]193-mr farquhar was drawn towards sweet , lovely , composed , and dignified [Ruth]81-ruth -- one who always thought before [she]81-ruth spoke ( as [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar used to bid [Jemima]217-jemima do)--who never was tempted by sudden impulse , but walked [the world]506-the world calm and self - governed . What now availed [Jemima]217-jemima 's reproaches , as [she]217-jemima remembered the days when [he]193-mr farquhar had watched [her]217-jemima with earnest , attentive eyes , as [he]193-mr farquhar now watched [Ruth]81-ruth ; and the times since , when , led astray by [her]217-jemima morbid fancy , [she]217-jemima had turned away from all [his]193-mr farquhar advances ! " It was only in March -- last March , [he]193-mr farquhar called [me]217-jemima ' dear [Jemima]217-jemima . ' [Ah]5397-ah , do n't [I]217-jemima remember it well ? The pretty nosegay of green - house flowers that [he]193-mr farquhar gave [me]217-jemima in exchange for the wild daffodils -- and how [he]193-mr farquhar seemed to care for the flowers [I]217-jemima gave [him]193-mr farquhar -- and how [he]193-mr farquhar looked at [me]217-jemima , and thanked [me]217-jemima -- that is all gone and over now . "[217-jemima] [[Her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters came in bright and glowing . " Oh , [Jemima]217-jemima , how nice and cool [you]217-jemima are , sitting in [this shady room]5398-this shady room ! "[217-jemima] ( [She]217-jemima had felt it even chilly . ) " [We]5399-we have been such a long walk ! [We]5399-we are so tired . It is so hot . "[217-jemima] " Why did [you]217-jemima go , then ? "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima . " Oh ! [we]5399-we wanted to go . [We]5399-we would not have stayed at [home]4124-home on any account . It has been so pleasant , "[118-mary] said [Mary]118-mary . " [We]5399-we 've been to [Scaurside Wood]46-scaurside wood , to gather wild strawberries , "[195-elizabeth] said [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . " Such a quantity ! [We]5399-we 've left a whole basketful in the dairy . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar says [he]193-mr farquhar 'll teach [us]5399-we how to dress them in the way [he]193-mr farquhar learnt in [Germany]47-germany , if [we]5399-we can get [him]193-mr farquhar some hock . Do [you]217-jemima think [papa]4310-papa will let [us]5399-we have some ? "[195-elizabeth] " Was [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar with [you]217-jemima ? "[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]217-jemima , a dull light coming into [her]217-jemima eyes . " Yes ; [we]5399-we told [him]193-mr farquhar this morning that [mamma]4143-mamma wanted [us]5399-we to take some old linen to [the lame man at [Scaurside Farm]48-scaurside farm]5403-the lame man at scaurside farm , and that [we]5399-we meant to coax [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh to let [us]5399-we go into the wood and gather strawberries , "[195-elizabeth] said [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . " [I]118-mary thought [he]193-mr farquhar would make some excuse and come , "[118-mary] said [the quick - witted Mary]118-mary , as eager and thoughtless [an observer of one love - affair as of another]2612-an observer of one love - affair as of another , and quite forgetting that , not many weeks ago , [she]118-mary had fancied an attachment between [him]2613-him and [Jemima]217-jemima . " Did [you]118-mary ? [I]195-elizabeth did not , "[195-elizabeth] replied [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . " At least [I]195-elizabeth never thought about it . [I]195-elizabeth was quite startled when [I]195-elizabeth heard [his]193-mr farquhar horse 's feet behind [us]5399-we on [the road]4274-the road . "[195-elizabeth] " [He]193-mr farquhar said [he]193-mr farquhar was going to [the farm]5405-the farm , and could take [our]5399-we basket . Was not it kind of [him]193-mr farquhar ? "[217-jemima] [Jemima]217-jemima did not answer , so [Mary]118-mary continued : " [You]195-elizabeth know it 's a great pull up to [the farm]5405-the farm , and [we]5399-we were so hot already . [The road]4274-the road was quite white and baked ; it hurt [my]118-mary eyes terribly . [I]118-mary was so glad when [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh said [we]5399-we might turn into [the wood]926-the wood . The light was quite green there , the branches are so thick overhead . "[118-mary] " And there are whole beds of wild strawberries , "[195-elizabeth] said [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , taking up the tale now [Mary]118-mary was out of breath . [Mary]118-mary fanned [herself]118-mary with [her]118-mary bonnet , while [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth went on : " [You]217-jemima know where [the grey rock]5409-the grey rock crops out , do n't [you]217-jemima , [Jemima]217-jemima ? Well , there was a complete carpet of strawberry runners . So pretty ! And [we]5399-we could hardly step without treading the little bright scarlet berries under foot . "[195-elizabeth] " [We]5399-we did so wish for [Leonard]104-leonard , "[195-elizabeth] put in [Mary]118-mary . " Yes ! but [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh gathered a great many for [him]104-leonard . And [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar gave [her]156-mrs denbigh all [his]104-leonard . "[195-elizabeth] " [I]217-jemima thought [you]217-jemima said [he]104-leonard had gone on to [[Dawson]219-dawson 's farm]5410-dawson 's farm , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima . " Oh , yes ! [he]104-leonard just went up there ; and then [he]104-leonard left [his]104-leonard horse [there]332-there , like [a wise man]5412-a wise man , and came to [us]5399-we in [the pretty , cool , green wood]5413-the pretty , cool , green wood . Oh , [Jemima]217-jemima , it was so pretty -- little flecks of light coming down here and there through the leaves , and quivering on the ground . [You]217-jemima must go with [us]5399-we to - morrow . "[217-jemima] " Yes , "[118-mary] said [Mary]118-mary , " [we]5399-we 're going again to - morrow . [We]5399-we could not gather nearly all the strawberries . "[118-mary] " And [Leonard]104-leonard is to go too , to - morrow . "[217-jemima] " Yes ! [we]5399-we thought of such a capital plan . That 's to say , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar thought of it -- [we]5399-we wanted to carry [Leonard]104-leonard up [the hill]4277-the hill in [a king]5096-a king 's cushion , but [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh would not hear of it . "[217-jemima] " [She]156-mrs denbigh said it would tire [us]5399-we so ; and yet [she]156-mrs denbigh wanted [him]104-leonard to gather strawberries ! "[118-mary] " And so , "[118-mary] interrupted [Mary]118-mary , for by this time [the two girls]2614-the two girls were almost speaking together , " [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar is to bring [him]104-leonard up before [him]104-leonard on [his]104-leonard horse . "[2614-the two girls] " [You]217-jemima 'll go with [us]5399-we , wo n't [you]217-jemima , [dear Jemima]217-jemima ? "[195-elizabeth] asked [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth ; " it will be at-- "[195-elizabeth] " No ! [I]217-jemima ca n't go ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , abruptly . " Do n't ask [me]217-jemima -- [I]217-jemima ca n't . "[217-jemima] [The little girls]2551-the little girls were hushed into silence by [her]217-jemima manner ; for whatever [she]217-jemima might be to those above [her]217-jemima in age and position , to those below [her]217-jemima [Jemima]217-jemima was almost invariably gentle . [She]217-jemima felt that [they]2551-the little girls were wondering at [her]217-jemima . " Go [upstairs]1186-upstairs and take off [your]217-jemima things . [You]217-jemima know [papa]4310-papa does not like [you]217-jemima to come into [this room]4221-this room in the shoes in which [you]217-jemima have been out . "[217-jemima] [She]217-jemima was glad to cut [[her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters short in the details which [they]2576-her sisters were so mercilessly inflicting -- details which [she]217-jemima must harden [herself]217-jemima to , before [she]217-jemima could hear [them]2576-her sisters quietly and unmoved . [She]217-jemima saw that [she]217-jemima had lost [her]217-jemima place as the first object in [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's eyes -- a position [she]217-jemima had hardly cared for while [she]217-jemima was secure in the enjoyment of it ; but the charm of it now was redoubled , in [her]217-jemima acute sense of how [she]217-jemima had forfeited it by [her]217-jemima own doing , and [her]217-jemima own fault . For if [he]193-mr farquhar were [the cold , calculating man [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father had believed [him]193-mr farquhar to be]2617-the cold , calculating man her father had believed him to be , and had represented [him]193-mr farquhar as being to [her]217-jemima , would [he]193-mr farquhar care for [a portionless widow]2619-a portionless widow in humble circumstances like [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ; no money , no connexion , encumbered with [[her]156-mrs denbigh boy]2051-her boy ? The very action which proved [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar to be lost to [Jemima]217-jemima reinstated [him]193-mr farquhar on [his]193-mr farquhar throne in [her]217-jemima fancy . And [she]217-jemima must go on in hushed quietness , quivering with every fresh token of [his]193-mr farquhar preference for another ! That other , too , one so infinitely more worthy of [him]193-mr farquhar than [herself]217-jemima ; so that [she]217-jemima could not have even the poor comfort of thinking that [he]193-mr farquhar had no discrimination , and was throwing [himself]193-mr farquhar away on [a common or worthless person]2621-a common or worthless person . [Ruth]81-ruth was beautiful , gentle , good , and conscientious . The hot colour flushed up into [Jemima]217-jemima 's sallow face as [she]217-jemima became aware that , even while [she]217-jemima acknowledged these excellences on [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's part , [she]217-jemima hated [her]217-jemima . The recollection of [her]217-jemima marble face wearied [her]217-jemima even to sickness ; the tones of [her]217-jemima low voice were irritating from their very softness . [Her]217-jemima goodness , undoubted as it was , was more distasteful than many faults which had more savour of human struggle in them . " What was this terrible demon in [her]217-jemima heart ? "[217-jemima] asked [[Jemima]217-jemima 's better angel]2622-jemima 's better angel . " Was [she]217-jemima , indeed , given up to possession ? Was not this the old stinging hatred which had prompted so many crimes ? The hatred of all sweet virtues which might win the love denied to [us]5419-us ? The old anger that wrought in [the elder brother]5420-the elder brother 's heart , till it ended in the murder of [the gentle Abel]220-the gentle abel , while yet [the world]506-the world was young ? "[217-jemima] " Oh , [God]104-leonard ! help [me]217-jemima ! [I]217-jemima did not know [I]217-jemima was so wicked , "[217-jemima] cried [Jemima]217-jemima aloud in [her]217-jemima agony . It had been a terrible glimpse into the dark , lurid gulf -- the capability for evil , in [her]217-jemima heart . [She]217-jemima wrestled with [the demon]2623-the demon , but [he]2623-the demon would not depart ; it was to be a struggle whether or not [she]217-jemima was to be given up to [him]2623-the demon , in this [her]217-jemima time of sore temptation . All the next day long [she]217-jemima sat and pictured the happy strawberry gathering going on , even then , in [pleasant Scaurside Wood]46-scaurside wood . Every touch of fancy which could heighten [her]217-jemima idea of [their]2624-their enjoyment , and of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's attention to the blushing , conscious [Ruth]81-ruth -- every such touch which would add a pang to [her]217-jemima self - reproach and keen jealousy , was added by [her]217-jemima imagination . [She]217-jemima got up and walked about , to try and stop [her]217-jemima over - busy fancy by bodily exercise . But [she]217-jemima had eaten little all day , and was weak and faint in the intense heat of [the sunny garden]2625-the sunny garden . Even the long grass - walk under the filbert - hedge , was parched and dry in the glowing August sun . Yet [[her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters found [her]217-jemima there when [they]2576-her sisters returned , walking quickly up and down , as if to warm [herself]217-jemima on some winter 's day . [They]2576-her sisters were very weary ; and not half so communicative as on the day before , now that [Jemima]217-jemima was craving for every detail to add to [her]217-jemima agony . " Yes ! [Leonard]104-leonard came up before [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . Oh ! how hot it is , [Jemima]217-jemima ; do sit down , and [I]2576-her sisters 'll tell [you]217-jemima about it , but [I]2576-her sisters ca n't if [you]217-jemima keep walking so ! "[2576-her sisters] " [I]217-jemima ca n't sit still to - day , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , springing up from the turf as soon as [she]217-jemima had sat down . " Tell [me]217-jemima ! [I]217-jemima can hear [you]217-jemima while [I]217-jemima walk about . "[217-jemima] " Oh ! but [I]2576-her sisters ca n't shout ; [I]2576-her sisters can hardly speak [I]2576-her sisters am so tired . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar brought [Leonard--]221-leonard-- "[2576-her sisters] " [You]217-jemima 've told [me]217-jemima that before , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , sharply . " Well ! [I]195-elizabeth do n't know what else to tell . [Somebody]5422-somebody had been since yesterday , and gathered nearly all the strawberries off [the grey rock]5409-the grey rock . [Jemima]217-jemima ! [Jemima]217-jemima ! "[195-elizabeth] said [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , faintly , " [I]195-elizabeth am so dizzy -- [I]195-elizabeth think [I]195-elizabeth am ill . "[195-elizabeth] The next minute [the tired girl]2627-the tired girl lay swooning on the grass . It was an outlet for [Jemima]217-jemima 's fierce energy . With a strength [she]217-jemima had never again , and never had known before , [she]217-jemima lifted up [[her]217-jemima fainting sister]2628-her fainting sister , and bidding [Mary]118-mary run and clear the way , [she]217-jemima carried [her]2628-her fainting sister in through [the open garden]2629-the open garden - door , up the wide old - fashioned stairs , and laid [her]2628-her fainting sister on the bed in [[her]2628-her fainting sister own room]2447-her own room , where the breeze from the window came softly and pleasantly through the green shade of the vine - leaves and jessamine . " Give [me]217-jemima the water . Run for [mamma]4143-mamma , [Mary]118-mary , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , as [she]217-jemima saw that the fainting - fit did not yield to the usual remedy of a horizontal position and the water sprinkling . " [Dear]4155-dear ! dear [Lizzie]195-elizabeth ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , kissing the pale , unconscious face . " [I]217-jemima think [you]195-elizabeth loved [me]217-jemima , [darling]4344-darling . "[217-jemima] The long walk on the hot day had been too much for the delicate Elizabeth , who was fast outgrowing [her]2628-her fainting sister strength . It was many days before [she]2628-her fainting sister regained any portion of [her]2628-her fainting sister spirit and vigour . After that fainting - fit , [she]2628-her fainting sister lay listless and weary , without appetite or interest , through the long sunny autumn weather , on the bed or on the couch in [[Jemima]217-jemima 's room]2631-jemima 's room , whither [she]2628-her fainting sister had been carried at first . It was a comfort to [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw to be able at once to discover what it was that had knocked up [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth ; [she]2628-her fainting sister did not rest easily until [she]2628-her fainting sister had settled upon a cause for every ailment or illness in [the family]693-the family . It was a stern consolation to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , during [his]149-mr bradshaw time of anxiety respecting [[his]149-mr bradshaw daughter]2158-his daughter , to be able to blame [somebody]5422-somebody . [He]149-mr bradshaw could not , like [[his]149-mr bradshaw wife]737-his wife , have taken comfort from an inanimate fact ; [he]149-mr bradshaw wanted the satisfaction of feeling that [some one]378-some one had been in fault , or else this never could have happened . [Poor Ruth]81-ruth did not need [his]149-mr bradshaw implied reproaches . When [she]81-ruth saw [her]81-ruth gentle [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth lying feeble and languid , [her]81-ruth heart blamed [her]81-ruth for thoughtlessness so severely as to make [her]81-ruth take all [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's words and hints as too light censure for the careless way in which , to please [[her]81-ruth own child]2637-her own child , [she]81-ruth had allowed [[her]81-ruth two pupils]2497-her two pupils to fatigue [themselves]2497-her two pupils with such long walks . [She]81-ruth begged hard to take [her]81-ruth share of nursing . Every spare moment [she]81-ruth went to [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's]2425-mr bradshaw 's , and asked , with earnest humility , to be allowed to pass [them]2640-them with [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth ; and , as it was often a relief to have [her]81-ruth assistance , [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw received these entreaties very kindly , and desired [her]81-ruth to go [upstairs]1186-upstairs , where [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth 's pale countenance brightened when [she]81-ruth saw [her]195-elizabeth , but where [Jemima]217-jemima sat in silent annoyance that [[her]217-jemima own room]2447-her own room was now become open ground for one , whom [her]217-jemima heart rose up against , to enter in and be welcomed . Whether it was that [Ruth]81-ruth , who was not [an inmate of [the house]426-the house]2643-an inmate of the house , brought with [her]81-ruth a fresher air , more change of thought to [the invalid]738-the invalid , [I]0-i do not know , but [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth always gave [her]81-ruth a peculiarly tender greeting ; and if [she]81-ruth had sunk down into languid fatigue , in spite of all [Jemima]217-jemima 's endeavours to interest [her]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth roused up into animation when [Ruth]81-ruth came in with a flower , a book , or a brown and ruddy pear , sending out the warm fragrance it retained from the sunny garden - wall at [Chapel - house]2646-chapel - house . The jealous dislike which [Jemima]217-jemima was allowing to grow up in [her]217-jemima heart against [Ruth]81-ruth was , as [she]217-jemima thought , never shown in word or deed . [She]217-jemima was cold in manner , because [she]217-jemima could not be hypocritical ; but [her]217-jemima words were polite and kind in purport ; and [she]217-jemima took pains to make [her]217-jemima actions the same as formerly . But rule and line may measure out the figure of [a man]650-a man ; it is the soul that gives it life ; and there was no soul , no inner meaning , breathing out in [Jemima]217-jemima 's actions . [Ruth]81-ruth felt the change acutely . [She]81-ruth suffered from it some time before [she]81-ruth ventured to ask what had occasioned it . But , one day , [she]81-ruth took [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw by surprise , when [they]2648-they were alone together for a few minutes , by asking [her]151-mrs bradshaw if [she]151-mrs bradshaw had vexed [her]151-mrs bradshaw in any way , [she]151-mrs bradshaw was so changed ? It is sad when friendship has cooled so far as to render such a question necessary . [Jemima]217-jemima went rather paler than usual , and then made answer : " Changed ! How do [you]81-ruth mean ? How am [I]217-jemima changed ? What do [I]217-jemima say or do different from what [I]217-jemima used to do ? "[217-jemima] But the tone was so constrained and cold , that [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart sank within [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth knew now , as well as words could have told [her]81-ruth , that not only had the old feeling of love passed away from [Jemima]217-jemima , but that it had gone unregretted , and no attempt had been made to recall it . Love was very precious to [Ruth]81-ruth now , as of old time . It was one of the faults of [her]81-ruth nature to be ready to make any sacrifices for those who loved [her]81-ruth , and to value affection almost above its price . [She]81-ruth had yet to learn the lesson , that it is more blessed to love than to be beloved ; and lonely as the impressible years of [her]81-ruth youth had been -- without [parents]724-parents , without [brother]4681-brother or [sister]4728-sister -- it was , perhaps , no wonder that [she]81-ruth clung tenaciously to every symptom of regard , and could not relinquish the love of [any one]425-any one without a pang . [The doctor who was called in to [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth]2653-the doctor who was called in to elizabeth prescribed [sea -]2654-sea - air as the best means of recruiting [her]195-elizabeth strength . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , who liked to spend money ostentatiously , went down straight to [Abermouth]50-abermouth , and engaged [a house]4183-a house for the remainder of the autumn ; for , as [he]149-mr bradshaw told [the medical man]597-the medical man , money was no object to [him]149-mr bradshaw in comparison with [[his]149-mr bradshaw children]5138-his children 's health ; and [the doctor]4191-the doctor cared too little about the mode in which [his]149-mr bradshaw remedy was administered , to tell [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw that [lodgings]4742-lodgings would have done as well , or better , than [the complete house [he]149-mr bradshaw had seen fit to take]2660-the complete house he had seen fit to take . For it was now necessary to engage [servants]831-servants , and take much trouble , which might have been obviated , and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth 's removal effected more quietly and speedily , if [she]195-elizabeth had gone into [lodgings]4742-lodgings . As it was , [she]195-elizabeth was weary of hearing all the planning and talking , and deciding and un - deciding , and re - deciding , before it was possible for [her]195-elizabeth to go . [Her]195-elizabeth only comfort was in the thought that [dear Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh was to go with [her]195-elizabeth . It had not been entirely by way of pompously spending [his]149-mr bradshaw money that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had engaged [this seaside house]2663-this seaside house . [He]149-mr bradshaw was glad to get [[his]149-mr bradshaw little girls]2664-his little girls and [[their]2664-his little girls governess]2665-their governess out of the way ; for a busy time was impending , when [he]149-mr bradshaw should want [his]149-mr bradshaw head clear for electioneering purposes , and [[his]149-mr bradshaw house]2164-his house clear for electioneering hospitality . [He]149-mr bradshaw was the mover of a project for bringing forward [a man on the Liberal and Dissenting interest]2667-a man on the liberal and dissenting interest , to contest the election with [the old Tory member , who had on several successive occasions walked over the course]2668-the old tory member , who had on several successive occasions walked over the course , as [he]149-mr bradshaw and [[his]149-mr bradshaw family]2669-his family owned half [the town]396-the town , and votes and rent were paid alike to [the landlord]1009-the landlord . [Kings of Eccleston]222-eccleston had [Mr Cranworth]223-mr cranworth and [[his]223-mr cranworth ancestors]2672-his ancestors been this many a long year ; [their]222-eccleston right was so little disputed that [they]222-eccleston never thought of acknowledging the allegiance so readily paid to [them]222-eccleston . The old feudal feeling between [land - owner]2673-land - owner and [tenant]2674-tenant did not quake prophetically at the introduction of manufactures ; [the Cranworth family]2675-the cranworth family ignored the growing power of [the manufacturers]2676-the manufacturers , more especially as [the principal person engaged in the trade]2677-the principal person engaged in the trade was [a Dissenter]5094-a dissenter . But notwithstanding this lack of patronage from [the one great family in [the neighbourhood]849-the neighbourhood]2679-the one great family in the neighbourhood , the business flourished , increased , and spread wide ; and [the Dissenting head thereof]2681-the dissenting head thereof looked around , about the time of which [I]0-i speak , and felt [himself]2681-the dissenting head thereof powerful enough to defy the great [Cranworth]51-cranworth interest even in [[their]2679-the one great family in the neighbourhood hereditary stronghold]2682-their hereditary stronghold , and , by so doing , avenge the slights of many years -- slights which rankled in [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's mind as much as if [he]149-mr bradshaw did not go to [chapel]1864-chapel twice every Sunday , and pay the largest pew - rent of [any member of [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's congregation]2685-mr benson 's congregation]2684-any member of mr benson 's congregation . Accordingly , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had applied to [one of [the Liberal parliamentary agents in [London]3-london]2687-the liberal parliamentary agents in london]2686-one of the liberal parliamentary agents in london -- [a man whose only principle was to do wrong on the Liberal side]2688-a man whose only principle was to do wrong on the liberal side ; [he]149-mr bradshaw would not act , right or wrong , for [a Tory]2689-a tory , but for [a Whig]2690-a whig the latitude of [his]149-mr bradshaw conscience had never yet been discovered . It was possible [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was not aware of the character of [this agent]2691-this agent ; at any rate , [he]149-mr bradshaw knew [he]149-mr bradshaw was [the man for [his]149-mr bradshaw purpose , which was to hear of [some one who would come forward as a candidate for the representation of [Eccleston]36-eccleston on [the Dissenting interest]2694-the dissenting interest]2693-some one who would come forward as a candidate for the representation of eccleston on the dissenting interest]2692-the man for his purpose , which was to hear of some one who would come forward as a candidate for the representation of eccleston on the dissenting interest . " There are [in round numbers about six hundred voters]5427-in round numbers about six hundred voters , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw ; " two hundred are decidedly in the [Cranworth]51-cranworth interest -- dare not offend [Mr Cranworth]223-mr cranworth , [poor souls]5428-poor souls ! Two hundred more [we]5429-we may calculate upon as pretty certain -- [factory hands]5430-factory hands , or [people]322-people connected with [our]5429-we trade in some way or another -- who are indignant at the stubborn way in which [Cranworth]51-cranworth has contested the right of water ; two hundred are doubtful . "[149-mr bradshaw] " Do n't much care either way , "[2695-the parliamentary agent] said [the parliamentary agent]2695-the parliamentary agent . " Of course , [we]5429-we must make [them]322-people care . "[2695-the parliamentary agent] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw rather shrunk from the knowing look with which this was said . [He]149-mr bradshaw hoped that [Mr Pilson]224-mr pilson did not mean to allude to bribery ; but [he]224-mr pilson did not express this hope , because [he]224-mr pilson thought it would deter [the agent]2696-the agent from using this means , and it was possible it might prove to be the only way . And if [he]149-mr bradshaw ( [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ) once embarked on such an enterprise , there must be no failure . By some expedient or another , success must be certain , or [he]149-mr bradshaw could have nothing to do with it . [The parliamentary agent]2695-the parliamentary agent was well accustomed to deal with all kinds and shades of scruples . [He]2695-the parliamentary agent was most at home with [men who had none]2698-men who had none ; but still [he]2695-the parliamentary agent could allow for human weakness ; and [he]2695-the parliamentary agent perfectly understood [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . " [I]2695-the parliamentary agent have a notion [I]2695-the parliamentary agent know of [a man who will just suit [your]149-mr bradshaw purpose]5432-a man who will just suit your purpose . Plenty of money -- does not know what to do with it , in fact -- tired of yachting , travelling ; wants something new . [I]2695-the parliamentary agent heard , through some of the means of intelligence [I]2695-the parliamentary agent employ , that not very long ago [he]5432-a man who will just suit your purpose was wishing for a seat in Parliament . "[2695-the parliamentary agent] " [A Liberal]5433-a liberal ? "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . " Decidedly . Belongs to [a family who were in the Long Parliament in [their]5434-a family who were in the long parliament in their day day]5434-a family who were in the long parliament in their day . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw rubbed [his]149-mr bradshaw hands . " [Dissenter]5435-dissenter ? "[149-mr bradshaw] asked [he]149-mr bradshaw . " No , no ! Not so far as that . But very lax Church . "[149-mr bradshaw] " What is [his]5432-a man who will just suit your purpose name ? "[149-mr bradshaw] asked [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , eagerly . " Excuse [me]149-mr bradshaw . Until [I]149-mr bradshaw am certain that [he]5432-a man who will just suit your purpose would like to come forward for [Eccleston]36-eccleston , [I]149-mr bradshaw think [I]149-mr bradshaw had better not mention [his]5432-a man who will just suit your purpose name . "[149-mr bradshaw] [The anonymous gentleman]2699-the anonymous gentleman did like to come forward , and [his]2699-the anonymous gentleman name proved to be [Donne]225-mr donne . [He]2699-the anonymous gentleman and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had been in correspondence during all the time of [Mr Ralph Cranworth]223-mr cranworth 's illness ; and when [he]223-mr cranworth died , everything was arranged ready for a start , even before [the Cranworths]226-the cranworths had determined who should keep the seat warm till [the eldest son]2700-the eldest son came of age , for [the father]2701-the father was [already member for [the county]295-the county]2702-already member for the county . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was to come down to canvass in person , and was to take up [[his]225-mr donne abode at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's]2704-his abode at mr bradshaw 's ; and therefore it was that [the seaside house]2705-the seaside house , within twenty miles ' distance of [Eccleston]36-eccleston , was found to be so convenient as [an infirmary]2706-an infirmary and nursery for [those members of [[his]223-mr cranworth family]2669-his family who were likely to be useless , if not positive encumbrances , during the forthcoming election]2707-those members of his family who were likely to be useless , if not positive encumbrances , during the forthcoming election . CHAPTER XXII [The Liberal Candidate]2709-the liberal candidate and [His]2709-the liberal candidate Precursor [Jemima]217-jemima did not know whether [she]217-jemima wished to go to [Abermouth]50-abermouth or not . [She]217-jemima longed for change . [She]217-jemima wearied of the sights and sounds of [home]4124-home . But yet [she]217-jemima could not bear to leave [the neighbourhood of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar]2711-the neighbourhood of mr farquhar ; especially as , if [she]217-jemima went to [Abermouth]50-abermouth , [Ruth]81-ruth would in all probability be left to take [her]81-ruth holiday at [home]4124-home . When [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw decided that [she]217-jemima was to go , [Ruth]81-ruth tried to feel glad that [he]149-mr bradshaw gave [her]217-jemima the means of repairing [her]217-jemima fault towards [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth ; and [she]81-ruth resolved to watch over [the two girls]2614-the two girls most faithfully and carefully , and to do all in [her]81-ruth power to restore [the invalid to health]2714-the invalid to health . But a tremor came over [her]81-ruth whenever [she]81-ruth thought of leaving [Leonard]104-leonard ; [she]81-ruth had never quitted [him]104-leonard for a day , and it seemed to [her]81-ruth as if [her]81-ruth brooding , constant care was [his]104-leonard natural and necessary shelter from all evils -- from very death itself . [She]81-ruth would not go to sleep at nights , in order to enjoy the blessed consciousness of having [him]104-leonard near [her]81-ruth ; when [she]81-ruth was away from [him]104-leonard teaching [[her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils , [she]81-ruth kept trying to remember [his]104-leonard face , and print it deep on [her]81-ruth heart , against the time when days and days would elapse without [her]81-ruth seeing [that little darling countenance]2716-that little darling countenance . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson would wonder to [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw did not propose that [Leonard]104-leonard should accompany [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother ; [he]149-mr bradshaw only begged [her]81-ruth not to put such an idea into [Ruth]81-ruth 's head , as [he]149-mr bradshaw was sure [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had no thoughts of doing any such thing , yet to [Ruth]81-ruth it might be a hope , and then a disappointment . [[His]149-mr bradshaw sister]4508-his sister scolded [him]149-mr bradshaw for being so cold - hearted ; but [he]149-mr bradshaw was full of sympathy , although [he]149-mr bradshaw did not express it , and made some quiet little sacrifices in order to set [himself]149-mr bradshaw at liberty to take [Leonard]104-leonard a long walking expedition on the day when [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother left [Eccleston]36-eccleston . [Ruth]81-ruth cried until [she]81-ruth could cry no longer , and felt very much ashamed of [herself]81-ruth as [she]81-ruth saw the grave and wondering looks of [[her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils , whose only feeling on leaving [home]4124-home was delight at the idea of [Abermouth]50-abermouth , and into whose minds the possibility of death to any of [[their]2406-her pupils beloved ones]2723-their beloved ones never entered . [Ruth]81-ruth dried [her]81-ruth eyes , and spoke cheerfully as soon as [she]81-ruth caught the perplexed expression of [their]2406-her pupils faces ; and by the time [they]2406-her pupils arrived at [Abermouth]50-abermouth , [she]81-ruth was as much delighted with all the new scenery as [they]2406-her pupils were , and found it hard work to resist [their]2406-her pupils entreaties to go rambling out on [the seashore]2724-the seashore at once ; but [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth had undergone more fatigue that day than [she]195-elizabeth had had before for many weeks , and [Ruth]81-ruth was determined to be prudent . Meanwhile , [[the Bradshaws]206-the bradshaws ' house at [Eccleston]36-eccleston]2725-the bradshaws ' house at eccleston was being rapidly adapted for electioneering hospitality . The partition - wall between [the unused drawing - room]2726-the unused drawing - room and [the school - room]2575-the school - room was broken down , in order to admit of folding doors ; [the " ingenious "[2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town] upholsterer of [the town]396-the town]2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town ( and what [town]666-town does not boast of [the upholsterer full of contrivances and resources]2731-the upholsterer full of contrivances and resources , in opposition to [the upholsterer of steady capital and no imagination]2732-the upholsterer of steady capital and no imagination , who looks down with uneasy contempt on ingenuity ? ) had come in to give [his]2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town opinion , that " nothing could be easier than to convert [a bathroom]5436-a bathroom into [a bedroom]5437-a bedroom , by the assistance of a little drapery to conceal the shower - bath , "[2728-the " ingenious " upholsterer of the town] the string of which was to be carefully concealed , for fear that [the unconscious occupier of the bath - bed]2733-the unconscious occupier of the bath - bed might innocently take it for a bell - rope . [The professional cook of [the town]396-the town]2734-the professional cook of the town had been already engaged to take up [her]2734-the professional cook of the town abode for a month at [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's]2425-mr bradshaw 's , much to the indignation of [Betsy]195-elizabeth , who became [a vehement partisan of [Mr Cranworth]223-mr cranworth]2737-a vehement partisan of mr cranworth , as soon as ever [she]195-elizabeth heard of the plan of [her]195-elizabeth deposition from sovereign authority in [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , in which [she]195-elizabeth had reigned supreme for fourteen years . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw sighed and bemoaned [herself]151-mrs bradshaw in all [her]151-mrs bradshaw leisure moments , which were not many , and wondered why [[their]2739-their house]2740-their house was to be turned into [an inn for [this Mr Donne]225-mr donne]2741-an inn for this mr donne , when [everybody]505-everybody knew that [the George]2743-the george was good enough for [the Cranworths]226-the cranworths , who never thought of asking [the electors]2744-the electors to [the Hall;--and]2745-the hall;--and [they]2739-their had lived at [Cranworth]51-cranworth ever since [Julius Caesar]227-julius caesar 's time , and if that was not being [an old family]2746-an old family , [she]151-mrs bradshaw did not know what was . The excitement soothed [Jemima]217-jemima . There was something to do . It was [she]217-jemima who planned with [the upholsterer]2747-the upholsterer ; it was [she]217-jemima who soothed [Betsy]195-elizabeth into angry silence ; it was [she]217-jemima who persuaded [[her]195-elizabeth mother]710-her mother to lie down and rest , while [she]217-jemima [herself]217-jemima went out to buy the heterogeneous things required to make [the family]693-the family and house presentable to [Mr Donne]225-mr donne and [[his]225-mr donne precursor]2750-his precursor -- [the friend of [the parliamentary agent]2695-the parliamentary agent]2751-the friend of the parliamentary agent . [This latter gentleman]2753-this latter gentleman never appeared [himself]2753-this latter gentleman on the scene of action , but pulled all the strings notwithstanding . [The friend]2754-the friend was [a Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson , [a lawyer]5198-a lawyer -- [a briefless barrister]2756-a briefless barrister , [some people]1567-some people called [him]228-mr hickson ; but [he]228-mr hickson [himself]228-mr hickson professed a great disgust to the law , as a " great sham , "[228-mr hickson] which involved an immensity of underhand action , and truckling , and time - serving , and was perfectly encumbered by useless forms and ceremonies , and dead obsolete words . So , instead of putting [his]228-mr hickson shoulder to the wheel to reform the law , [he]228-mr hickson talked eloquently against it , in such a high - priest style , that it was occasionally a matter of surprise how [he]228-mr hickson could ever have made [a friend of [the parliamentary agent]2695-the parliamentary agent]2758-a friend of the parliamentary agent before mentioned . But , as [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson [himself]228-mr hickson said , it was the very corruptness of the law which [he]228-mr hickson was fighting against , in doing all [he]228-mr hickson could to effect the return of [certain members to Parliament]2760-certain members to parliament ; [these certain members]2761-these certain members being pledged to effect a reform in the law , according to [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson . And , as [he]228-mr hickson once observed confidentially , " If [you]5438-you had to destroy [a hydra - headed monster]5439-a hydra - headed monster , would [you]5438-you measure swords with [the demon]2623-the demon as if [he]2623-the demon were [a gentleman]1084-a gentleman ? Would [you]5438-you not rather seize the first weapon that came to hand ? And so do [I.]5442-i. [My]228-mr hickson great object in life , [sir]4181-sir , is to reform the law of [England]21-england , [sir]4181-sir . Once get [a majority of [Liberal members]5446-liberal members]5445-a majority of liberal members into [the House]426-the house , and the thing is done . And [I]228-mr hickson consider [myself]228-mr hickson justified , for so high -- for , [I]228-mr hickson may say , so holy -- an end , in using [men]836-men 's weaknesses to work out [my]228-mr hickson purpose . Of course , if [men]836-men were [angels]5450-angels , or even immaculate -- [men invulnerable to bribes]5451-men invulnerable to bribes , [we]5452-we would not bribe . "[228-mr hickson] " Could [you]228-mr hickson ? "[217-jemima] asked [Jemima]217-jemima , for the conversation took place at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's dinner - table , where [a few friends]2762-a few friends were gathered together to meet [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson ; and among [them]2762-a few friends was [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " [We]5452-we neither would nor could , "[2763-the ardent barrister] said [the ardent barrister]2763-the ardent barrister , disregarding in [his]2763-the ardent barrister vehemence the point of the question , and floating on over the bar of argument into the wide ocean of [his]2763-the ardent barrister own eloquence : " As it is -- as [the world]506-the world stands , [they who would succeed even in good deeds]5454-they who would succeed even in good deeds must come down to the level of expediency ; and therefore , [I]2763-the ardent barrister say once more , if [Mr Donne]225-mr donne is [the man]5002-the man for [your]228-mr hickson purpose , and [your]228-mr hickson purpose is [a good one , a lofty one]5456-a good one , a lofty one , [a holy one]5457-a holy one "[2763-the ardent barrister] ( for [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson remembered the Dissenting character of [[his]228-mr hickson little audience]2764-his little audience , and privately considered the introduction of the word " holy "[2763-the ardent barrister] a most happy hit ) , " then , [I]2765-i say , [we]5452-we must put all the squeamish scruples which might befit [Utopia]52-utopia , or [some such place]5458-some such place , on one side , and treat [men]836-men as [they]836-men are . If [they]836-men are avaricious , it is not [we]5452-we who have made [them]836-men so ; but as [we]5452-we have to do with [them]836-men , [we]5452-we must consider [their]836-men failings in dealing with [them]836-men ; if [they]836-men have been careless or extravagant , or have had [their]836-men little peccadillos , [we]5452-we must administer the screw . The glorious reform of the law will justify , in [my]2765-i idea , all means to obtain the end -- that law , from the profession of which [I]2765-i have withdrawn [myself]2765-i from perhaps a too scrupulous conscience ! "[2765-i] [he]2765-i concluded softly to [himself]2765-i . " [We]5452-we are not to do evil that good may come , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . [He]143-mr benson was startled at the deep sound of [his]143-mr benson own voice as [he]143-mr benson uttered these words ; but [he]143-mr benson had not been speaking for some time , and [his]143-mr benson voice came forth strong and unmodulated . " True , [sir]4181-sir ; most true , "[228-mr hickson] said [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson , bowing . " [I]228-mr hickson honour [you]4181-sir for the observation . "[228-mr hickson] And [he]228-mr hickson profited by it , insomuch that [he]228-mr hickson confined [his]228-mr hickson further remarks on elections to the end of the table , where [he]228-mr hickson sat near [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , and one or two equally eager , though not equally influential partisans of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's . Meanwhile , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar took up [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's quotation , at the end where [he]228-mr hickson and [Jemima]217-jemima sat near to [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw and [him]228-mr hickson . " But in the present state of [the world]506-the world , as [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson says , it is rather difficult to act upon that precept . "[228-mr hickson] " Oh , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , indignantly , the tears springing to [her]217-jemima eyes with a feeling of disappointment . For [she]217-jemima had been chafing under all that [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson had been saying , perhaps the more for one or two attempts on [his]228-mr hickson part at a flirtation with [the daughter of [[his]228-mr hickson wealthy host]2767-his wealthy host]2766-the daughter of his wealthy host , which [she]217-jemima resented with all the loathing of a pre - occupied heart ; and [she]217-jemima had longed to be [a man]650-a man , to speak out [her]217-jemima wrath at this paltering with right and wrong . [She]217-jemima had felt grateful to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson for [his]143-mr benson one clear , short precept , coming down with a divine force against which there was no appeal ; and now to have [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar taking the side of expediency ! It was too bad . " Nay , [Jemima]217-jemima ! "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , touched , and secretly flattered by the visible pain [his]193-mr farquhar speech had given . " Do n't be indignant with [me]193-mr farquhar till [I]193-mr farquhar have explained [myself]193-mr farquhar a little more . [I]193-mr farquhar do n't understand [myself]193-mr farquhar yet ; and it is a very intricate question , or so it appears to [me]193-mr farquhar , which [I]193-mr farquhar was going to put , really , earnestly , and humbly , for [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's opinion . Now , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , may [I]193-mr farquhar ask , if [you]143-mr benson always find it practicable to act strictly in accordance with that principle ? For if [you]143-mr benson do not , [I]193-mr farquhar am sure [no man living]5462-no man living can ! Are there not occasions when it is absolutely necessary to wade through evil to good ? [I]193-mr farquhar am not speaking in the careless , presumptuous way of [that man yonder]5463-that man yonder , "[193-mr farquhar] said [he]193-mr farquhar , lowering [his]193-mr farquhar voice , and addressing [himself]193-mr farquhar to [Jemima]217-jemima more exclusively ; " [I]193-mr farquhar am really anxious to hear what [Mr Benson]143-mr benson will say on the subject , for [I]193-mr farquhar know [no one to whose candid opinion]5464-no one to whose candid opinion [I]193-mr farquhar should attach more weight . "[193-mr farquhar] But [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was silent . [He]143-mr benson did not see [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw and [Jemima]217-jemima leave [the room]357-the room . [He]143-mr benson was really , as [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar supposed [him]143-mr benson , completely absent , questioning [himself]143-mr benson as to how far [his]143-mr benson practice tallied with [his]143-mr benson principle . By degrees [he]143-mr benson came to [himself]143-mr benson ; [he]143-mr benson found the conversation still turned on the election ; and [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson , who felt that [he]143-mr benson had jarred against [the little minister]2770-the little minister 's principles , and yet knew , from the _ carte du pays _ which [the scouts of [the parliamentary agent]2695-the parliamentary agent]2771-the scouts of the parliamentary agent had given [him]143-mr benson , that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was [a person to be conciliated]2773-a person to be conciliated , on account of [his]143-mr benson influence over [many of [the working people]2775-the working people]2774-many of the working people , began to ask [him]143-mr benson questions with an air of deferring to superior knowledge , that almost surprised [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , who had been accustomed to treat " [Benson]143-mr benson "[149-mr bradshaw] in a very different fashion , of civil condescending indulgence , just as [one]321-one listens to [a child who can have had no opportunities of knowing better]2777-a child who can have had no opportunities of knowing better . At the end of a conversation that [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson held with [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , on a subject in which [the latter]1745-the latter was really interested , and on which [he]143-mr benson had expressed [himself]143-mr benson at some length , [the young barrister]2779-the young barrister turned to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , and said very audibly , " [I]149-mr bradshaw wish [Donne]225-mr donne had been [here]4172-here . This conversation during the last half - hour would have interested [him]225-mr donne almost as much as it has done [me]149-mr bradshaw . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw little guessed the truth , that [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was , at that very moment , coaching up the various subjects of public interest in [Eccleston]36-eccleston , and privately cursing the particular subject on which [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had been holding forth , as being an unintelligible piece of Quixotism ; or [the leading Dissenter of [the town]396-the town]2780-the leading dissenter of the town need not have experienced a pang of jealousy at the possible future admiration [[his]143-mr benson minister]2782-his minister might excite in [the possible future member for [Eccleston]36-eccleston]2783-the possible future member for eccleston . And if [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had been clairvoyant , [he]143-mr benson need not have made an especial subject of gratitude out of the likelihood that [he]143-mr benson might have an opportunity of so far interesting [Mr Donne]225-mr donne in the condition of [the people of [Eccleston]36-eccleston]2784-the people of eccleston as to induce [him]143-mr benson to set [his]143-mr benson face against any attempts at bribery . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson thought of this half the night through ; and ended by determining to write a sermon on the Christian view of political duties , which might be good for all , both [electors]2785-electors and [member]2786-member , to hear on the eve of an election . For [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was expected at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's before the next Sunday ; and , of course , as [Mr]2787-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had settled it , [he]225-mr donne would appear at [the chapel]1865-the chapel with [them]2789-them on that day . But the stinging conscience refused to be quieted . No present plan of usefulness allayed the aching remembrance of the evil [he]225-mr donne had done that good might come . Not even the look of [Leonard]104-leonard , as the early dawn fell on [him]104-leonard , and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's sleepless eyes saw the rosy glow on [his]104-leonard firm round cheeks ; [his]104-leonard open mouth , through which the soft , long - drawn breath came gently quivering ; and [his]104-leonard eyes not fully shut , but closed to outward sight -- not even the aspect of [the quiet , innocent child]2790-the quiet , innocent child could soothe the troubled spirit . [Leonard]104-leonard and [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother dreamt of [each other]579-each other that night . [Her]655-his mother dream of [him]104-leonard was one of undefined terror -- terror so great that it wakened [her]655-his mother up , and [she]655-his mother strove not to sleep again , for fear that ominous ghastly dream should return . [He]104-leonard , on the contrary , dreamt of [her]655-his mother sitting watching and smiling by [his]104-leonard bedside , as [her]655-his mother gentle self had been many a morning ; and when [she]655-his mother saw [him]104-leonard awake ( so it fell out in the dream ) , [she]655-his mother smiled still more sweetly , and bending down [she]655-his mother kissed [him]104-leonard , and then spread out large , soft , white - feathered wings ( which in no way surprised [[her]655-his mother child]631-her child -- [he]104-leonard seemed to have known they were there all along ) , and sailed away through the open window far into the blue sky of a summer 's day . [Leonard]104-leonard wakened up then , and remembered how far away [she]655-his mother really was -- far more distant and inaccessible than the beautiful blue sky to which [she]655-his mother had betaken [herself]655-his mother in [his]104-leonard dream -- and cried [himself]104-leonard to sleep again . In spite of [her]655-his mother absence from [[her]655-his mother child]631-her child , which made one great and abiding sorrow , [Ruth]81-ruth enjoyed [her]81-ruth seaside visit exceedingly . In the first place , there was the delight of seeing [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth 's daily and almost hourly improvement . Then , at [the doctor]4191-the doctor 's express orders , there were so few lessons to be done , that there was time for the long exploring rambles , which [all three]2796-all three delighted in . And when the rain came and the storms blew , [the house]426-the house , with [its]426-the house wild sea - views , was equally delightful . It was [a large house]2798-a large house , built on the summit of a rock , which nearly overhung [the shore below]2799-the shore below ; there were , to be sure , a series of zigzag tacking paths down the face of this rock , but from [the house]426-the house [they]2801-they could not be seen . [Old or delicate people]2802-old or delicate people would have considered the situation bleak and exposed ; indeed , [the present proprietor]2803-the present proprietor wanted to dispose of [it]426-the house on this very account ; but by [its present inhabitants]2804-its present inhabitants , this exposure and bleakness were called by other names , and considered as charms . From every part of [the rooms]1057-the rooms [they]2796-all three saw the grey storms gather on [the sea - horizon]2806-the sea - horizon , and put [themselves]2796-all three in marching array ; and soon the march became a sweep , and the great dome of the heavens was covered with the lurid clouds , between which and the vivid green earth below there seemed to come a purple atmosphere , making the very threatening beautiful ; and by - and - by [the house]426-the house was wrapped in sheets of rain shutting out sky , and [sea]4716-sea , and inland view ; till , of a sudden , the storm was gone by , and the heavy rain - drops glistened in the sun as they hung on leaf and grass , and the " little birds sang east , and the little birds sang west , "[81-ruth] and there was a pleasant sound of running waters all abroad . " Oh ! if [papa]4310-papa would but buy [this house]4203-this house ! "[195-elizabeth] exclaimed [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , after one such storm , which [she]195-elizabeth had watched silently from the very beginning of the " little cloud no bigger than [a man]650-a man 's hand . "[195-elizabeth] " [Mamma]113-mamma would never like it , [I]118-mary am afraid , "[118-mary] said [Mary]118-mary . " [She]113-mamma would call [our]2796-all three delicious gushes of air , draughts , and think [we]2796-all three should catch cold . "[195-elizabeth] " [Jemima]217-jemima would be on [our]2796-all three side . But how long [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh is ! [I]81-ruth hope [she]156-mrs denbigh was near enough [the post - office]5469-the post - office when the rain came on ! "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth had gone to " [the shop]1153-the shop "[195-elizabeth] in [the little village , about half - a - mile distant]2809-the little village , about half - a - mile distant , where all letters were left till fetched . [She]81-ruth only expected one , but that one was to tell [her]81-ruth of [Leonard]104-leonard . [She]81-ruth , however , received two ; the unexpected one was from [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , and the news it contained was , if possible , a greater surprise than the letter itself . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw informed [her]81-ruth , that [he]149-mr bradshaw planned arriving by dinner - time the following Saturday at [[Eagle]229-eagle 's Crag]2810-eagle 's crag ; and more , that [he]149-mr bradshaw intended bringing [Mr Donne]225-mr donne and [one or two other gentlemen]2811-one or two other gentlemen with [him]149-mr bradshaw , to spend the Sunday there ! The letter went on to give every possible direction regarding the household preparations . The dinner - hour was fixed to be at six ; but , of course , [Ruth]81-ruth and [the girls]414-the girls would have dined long before . [The ( professional ) cook]2813-the ( professional ) cook would arrive the day before , laden with all the provisions that could not be obtained on the spot . [Ruth]81-ruth was to engage [a waiter from [the inn]1055-the inn]2814-a waiter from the inn , and this it was that detained [her]81-ruth so long . While [she]81-ruth sat in [the little parlour]744-the little parlour , awaiting the coming of [the landlady]1072-the landlady , [she]81-ruth could not help wondering why [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was bringing [this strange gentleman]2818-this strange gentleman to spend two days at [Abermouth]50-abermouth , and thus giving [himself]149-mr bradshaw so much trouble and fuss of preparation . There were so many small reasons that went to make up the large one which had convinced [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw of the desirableness of this step , that it was not likely that [Ruth]81-ruth should guess at one half of them . In the first place , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , in the pride and fulness of [her]2819-her heart , had told [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw what [[her]2819-her brother]982-her brother had told [her]2819-her ; how [he]149-mr bradshaw meant to preach upon the Christian view of the duties involved in political rights ; and as , of course , [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw had told [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , [he]149-mr bradshaw began to dislike the idea of attending [chapel]1864-chapel on that Sunday at all ; for [he]149-mr bradshaw had an uncomfortable idea that by the Christian standard -- that divine test of the true and pure -- bribery would not be altogether approved of ; and yet [he]149-mr bradshaw was tacitly coming round to the understanding that " packets "[149-mr bradshaw] would be required , for what purpose both [he]149-mr bradshaw and [Mr Donne]225-mr donne were to be supposed to remain ignorant . But it would be very awkward , so near to the time , if [he]149-mr bradshaw were to be clearly convinced that bribery , however disguised by names and words , was in plain terms a sin . And yet [he]149-mr bradshaw knew [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had once or twice convinced [him]149-mr bradshaw against [his]149-mr bradshaw will of certain things , which [he]149-mr bradshaw had thenceforward found it impossible to do , without such great uneasiness of mind , that [he]149-mr bradshaw had left off doing them , which was sadly against [his]149-mr bradshaw interest . And if [Mr Donne]225-mr donne ( whom [he]149-mr bradshaw had intended to take with [him]149-mr bradshaw to [chapel]1864-chapel , as [fair Dissenting prey]2823-fair dissenting prey ) should also become convinced , why , [the Cranworths]226-the cranworths would win the day , and [he]225-mr donne should be [the laughing - stock of [Eccleston]222-eccleston]2824-the laughing - stock of eccleston . No ! in this one case bribery must be allowed -- was allowable ; but it was a great pity human nature was so corrupt , and if [[his]149-mr bradshaw member]2825-his member succeeded , [he]149-mr bradshaw would double [his]149-mr bradshaw subscription to [the schools]2826-the schools , in order that [the next generation]2827-the next generation might be taught better . There were various other reasons , which strengthened [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw in the bright idea of going down to [Abermouth]50-abermouth for the Sunday ; some connected with the out - of - door politics , and some with [the domestic]2828-the domestic . For instance , it had been the plan of [the house]426-the house to have a cold dinner on the Sundays -- [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had piqued [himself]149-mr bradshaw on this strictness -- and yet [he]149-mr bradshaw had an instinctive feeling that [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was not quite [the man]5002-the man to partake of cold meat for conscience ' sake with cheerful indifference to [his]225-mr donne fare . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne had , in fact , taken [the Bradshaw household]2831-the bradshaw household a little by surprise . Before [he]225-mr donne came , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had pleased [himself]149-mr bradshaw with thinking , that more unlikely things had happened than the espousal of [[his]149-mr bradshaw daughter]2158-his daughter with [the member of [a small borough]2834-a small borough]2833-the member of a small borough . But this pretty airy bubble burst as soon as [he]149-mr bradshaw saw [Mr Donne]225-mr donne ; and its very existence was forgotten in less than half an hour , when [he]149-mr bradshaw felt the quiet but incontestible difference of rank and standard that there was , in every respect , between [[his]149-mr bradshaw guest]2835-his guest and [[his]149-mr bradshaw own family]776-his own family . It was not through any circumstance so palpable , and possibly accidental , as the bringing down [a servant]5095-a servant , whom [Mr Donne]225-mr donne seemed to consider as much a matter of course as a carpet - bag ( though [the smart gentleman]2838-the smart gentleman 's arrival " fluttered [the Volscians]230-the volscians in [Corioli]53-corioli "[149-mr bradshaw] considerably more than [[his]149-mr bradshaw gentle - spoken master]2839-his gentle - spoken master 's ) . It was nothing like this ; it was something indescribable -- [a quiet being at ease]2840-a quiet being at ease , and expecting [every one else]2841-every one else to be so -- an attention to [women]4167-women , which was so habitual as to be unconsciously exercised to [those subordinate persons in [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's family]2196-mr bradshaw 's family]2843-those subordinate persons in mr bradshaw 's family -- a happy choice of simple and expressive words , some of which it must be confessed were slang , but fashionable slang , and that makes all the difference -- a measured , graceful way of utterance , with a style of pronunciation quite different to that of [Eccleston]222-eccleston . All these put together make but a part of the indescribable whole which unconsciously affected [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , and established [Mr Donne]225-mr donne in [his]225-mr donne estimation as a creature quite different to any [he]225-mr donne had seen before , and as most unfit to mate with [Jemima]217-jemima . [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson , who had appeared as [a model of gentlemanly ease]2845-a model of gentlemanly ease before [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's arrival , now became vulgar and coarse in [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's eyes . And yet , such was the charm of that languid , high - bred manner , that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw " cottoned "[149-mr bradshaw] ( as [he]149-mr bradshaw expressed it to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ) to [[his]149-mr bradshaw new candidate]2846-his new candidate at once . [He]149-mr bradshaw was only afraid lest [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was too indifferent to all things under the sun to care whether [he]225-mr donne gained or lost the election ; but [he]149-mr bradshaw was reassured after the first conversation [they]2847-they had together on the subject . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's eye lightened with an eagerness that was almost fierce , though [his]225-mr donne tones were as musical , and nearly as slow , as ever ; and when [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw alluded distantly to " probable expenses "[149-mr bradshaw] and " packets , "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Donne]225-mr donne replied , " Oh , of course ! disagreeable necessity ! Better speak as little about such things as possible ; [other people]2376-other people can be found to arrange all the dirty work . Neither [you]5472-you nor [I]225-mr donne would like to soil [our]2847-they fingers by it , [I]225-mr donne am sure . Four thousand pounds are in [Mr Pilson]224-mr pilson 's hands , and [I]225-mr donne shall never inquire what becomes of them ; they may , very probably , be absorbed in the law expenses , [you]5472-you know . [I]225-mr donne shall let it be clearly understood from the hustings , that [I]225-mr donne most decidedly disapprove of bribery , and leave the rest to [[Hickson]228-mr hickson 's management]5473-hickson 's management . [He]225-mr donne is accustomed to these sort of things . [I]225-mr donne am not . "[225-mr donne] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was rather perplexed by this want of bustling energy on the part of [the new candidate]2848-the new candidate ; and if it had not been for the four thousand pounds aforesaid , would have doubted whether [Mr Donne]225-mr donne cared sufficiently for the result of the election . [Jemima]217-jemima thought differently . [She]217-jemima watched [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's visitor attentively , with something like the curious observation which [a naturalist]2850-a naturalist bestows on a new species of animal . " Do [you]5472-you know what [Mr Donne]225-mr donne reminds [me]217-jemima of , [mamma]4143-mamma ? "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima , one day , as [the two]1675-the two sat at work , while [the gentlemen]2852-the gentlemen were absent canvassing . " No ! [he]225-mr donne is not like [[anybody]5210-anybody [I]217-jemima ever saw]5476-anybody i ever saw . [He]225-mr donne quite frightens [me]217-jemima , by being so ready to open the door for [me]217-jemima if [I]217-jemima am going out of [the room]357-the room , and by giving [me]217-jemima a chair when [I]217-jemima come in . [I]217-jemima never saw [any one like [him]225-mr donne]5478-any one like him . Who is it , [Jemima]217-jemima ? "[217-jemima] " [Not any person]5479-not any person -- not [any human being]5480-any human being , [mamma]4143-mamma , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , half smiling . " Do [you]4143-mamma remember [our]5482-our stopping at [Wakefield]54-wakefield once , on [our]5482-our way to [Scarborough]55-scarborough , and there were horse - races going on somewhere , and [some of [the racers]5484-the racers]5483-some of the racers were in [the stables at [the inn where [we]5482-our dined]5486-the inn where we dined]5485-the stables at the inn where we dined ? "[217-jemima] " Yes ! [I]217-jemima remember it ; but what about that ? "[217-jemima] " Why , [Richard]149-mr bradshaw , somehow , knew [one of [the jockeys]5488-the jockeys]5487-one of the jockeys , and , as [we]5482-our were coming in from [our]5482-our ramble through [the town]396-the town , [this man]5490-this man , or [boy]5491-boy , asked [us]5482-our to look at one of [the racers [he]5490-this man had the charge of]5492-the racers he had the charge of . "[217-jemima] " Well , [[my]217-jemima dear]4145-my dear ! "[217-jemima] " Well , [mamma]4143-mamma ! [Mr Donne]225-mr donne is like that horse ! "[217-jemima] " Nonsense , [Jemima]217-jemima ; [you]217-jemima must not say so . [I]217-jemima do n't know what [[your]217-jemima father]5319-your father would say , if [he]5319-your father heard [you]217-jemima likening [Mr Donne]225-mr donne to [a brute]5496-a brute . "[217-jemima] " [Brutes]5497-brutes are sometimes very beautiful , [mamma]4143-mamma . [I]217-jemima am sure [I]217-jemima should think it a compliment to be likened to a race - horse , such as the one [we]5482-our saw . But the thing in which [they]5497-brutes are alike , is the sort of repressed eagerness in both . "[217-jemima] " Eager ! Why , [I]217-jemima should say there never was any one cooler than [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . Think of the trouble [[your]217-jemima papa]5377-your papa has had this month past , and then remember the slow way in which [Mr Donne]225-mr donne moves when [he]225-mr donne is going out to canvass , and the low , drawling voice in which [he]225-mr donne questions [the people who bring [him]225-mr donne intelligence]5500-the people who bring him intelligence . [I]217-jemima can see [[your]217-jemima papa]5377-your papa standing by , ready to shake [them]5500-the people who bring him intelligence to get out [their]5500-the people who bring him intelligence news . "[217-jemima] " But [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's questions are always to the point , and force out the grain without the chaff . And look at [him]225-mr donne , if [any one]425-any one tells [him]225-mr donne ill news about the election ! Have [you]217-jemima never seen a dull red light come into [his]225-mr donne eyes ? That is like [my]217-jemima race - horse . [Her]5503-her flesh quivered all over , at certain sounds and noises which had some meaning to [her]5503-her ; but [she]5503-her stood quite still , [pretty creature]5504-pretty creature ! Now , [Mr Donne]225-mr donne is just as eager as [she]5503-her was , though [he]225-mr donne may be too proud to show it . Though [he]225-mr donne seems so gentle , [I]217-jemima almost think [he]225-mr donne is very headstrong in following out [his]225-mr donne own will . "[217-jemima] " Well ! do n't call [him]225-mr donne like a horse again , for [I]217-jemima am sure [papa]4310-papa would not like it . Do [you]217-jemima know , [I]217-jemima thought [you]217-jemima were going to say [he]225-mr donne was like [little Leonard]104-leonard , when [you]217-jemima asked [me]217-jemima who [he]225-mr donne was like . "[217-jemima] " [Leonard]104-leonard ! Oh , [mamma]4143-mamma , [he]225-mr donne is not in the least like [Leonard]104-leonard . [He]225-mr donne is twenty times more like [my]217-jemima race - horse . "[217-jemima] Now , [[my]0-i dear]4145-my dear [Jemima]217-jemima , do be quiet . [[Your]217-jemima father]5319-your father thinks racing so wrong , that [I]0-i am sure [he]5319-your father would be very seriously displeased if [he]5319-your father were to hear [you]217-jemima . " To return to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , and to give one more of [his]149-mr bradshaw various reasons for wishing to take [Mr Donne]225-mr donne to [Abermouth]50-abermouth . [The wealthy Eccleston manufacturer]5507-the wealthy eccleston manufacturer was uncomfortably impressed with an indefinable sense of inferiority to [[his]5507-the wealthy eccleston manufacturer visitor]5508-his visitor . It was not in education , for [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was [a well - educated man]5509-a well - educated man ; it was not in power , for , if [he]149-mr bradshaw chose , the present object of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's life might be utterly defeated ; it did not arise from anything overbearing in manner , for [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was habitually polite and courteous , and was just now anxious to propitiate [[his]225-mr donne host]5510-his host , whom [he]225-mr donne looked upon as [a very useful man]5511-a very useful man . Whatever this sense of inferiority arose from , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was anxious to relieve [himself]149-mr bradshaw of it , and imagined that if [he]149-mr bradshaw could make more display of [his]149-mr bradshaw wealth [his]149-mr bradshaw object would be obtained . Now [[his]149-mr bradshaw house in [Eccleston]36-eccleston]5512-his house in eccleston was old - fashioned , and ill - calculated to exhibit money 's worth . [His]149-mr bradshaw mode of living , though strained to a high pitch just at this time , [he]149-mr bradshaw became aware was no more than [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was accustomed to every day of [his]225-mr donne life . The first day at dessert , some remark ( some opportune remark , as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw in [his]149-mr bradshaw innocence had thought ) was made regarding the price of pine - apples , which was rather exorbitant that year , and [Mr Donne]225-mr donne asked [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , with quiet surprise , if [they]5513-they had no pinery , as if to be without a pinery were indeed a depth of pitiable destitution . In fact , [Mr Donne]225-mr donne had been born and cradled in all that wealth could purchase , and so had [[his]225-mr donne ancestors]2672-his ancestors before [him]225-mr donne for so many generations , that refinement and luxury seemed the natural condition of [man]661-man , and [they]5513-they that dwelt without were in the position of monsters . The absence was noticed ; but not the presence . Now , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw knew that [the house and [grounds of Eagle 's Crag]5517-grounds of eagle 's crag]5516-the house and grounds of eagle 's crag were exorbitantly dear , and yet [he]149-mr bradshaw really thought of purchasing them . And as one means of exhibiting [his]149-mr bradshaw wealth , and so raising [himself]149-mr bradshaw up to the level of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , [he]149-mr bradshaw thought that if [he]149-mr bradshaw could take [the latter]1745-the latter down to [Abermouth]50-abermouth , and show [him]225-mr donne the place for which , "[5319-your father] because [[his]2855-his little girls]2664-his little girls had taken a fancy to [it]2857-it , " [he]149-mr bradshaw was willing to give the fancy - price of fourteen thousand pounds , [he]149-mr bradshaw should at last make those half - shut dreamy eyes open wide , and [[their]2664-his little girls owner]5519-their owner confess that , in wealth at least , [the Eccleston manufacturer]5520-the eccleston manufacturer stood on a par with [him]149-mr bradshaw . All these mingled motives caused the determination which made [Ruth]81-ruth sit in [the little inn - parlour]5521-the little inn - parlour at [Abermouth]50-abermouth during the wild storm 's passage . [She]81-ruth wondered if [she]81-ruth had fulfilled all [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's directions . [She]81-ruth looked at the letter . Yes ! everything was done . And now [home]4124-home with [her]81-ruth news , through [the wet lane]5523-the wet lane , where [the little pools by the roadside]5524-the little pools by the roadside reflected the deep blue sky and the round white clouds with even deeper blue and clearer white ; and the rain - drops hung so thick on the trees , that even a little bird 's flight was enough to shake them down in a bright shower as of rain . When [she]81-ruth told the news , [Mary]118-mary exclaimed , "[2855-his] Oh , how charming ! Then [we]2858-we shall see [this new member]2859-this new member after all ! " while [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth added , "[209-papa] Yes ! [I]0-i shall like to do that . But where must [we]2858-we be ? [Papa]209-papa will want [the dining - room]5320-the dining - room and [this room]4221-this room , and where must [we]2858-we sit ? " "[209-papa] Oh ! " said [Ruth]81-ruth , "[209-papa] in [the dressing - room next to [[my]0-i room]2863-my room]2862-the dressing - room next to my room . All that [[your]0-i papa]5377-your papa wants always , is that [you]0-i are quiet and out of the way . " CHAPTER XXIII Recognition Saturday came . Torn , ragged clouds were driven across the sky . It was not a becoming day for the scenery , and [the little girls]2551-the little girls regretted it much . First [they]2551-the little girls hoped for a change at twelve o'clock , and then at the afternoon tide - turning . But at neither time did the sun show [his]209-papa face . "[209-papa] [Papa]209-papa will never buy [this dear place]2865-this dear place , " said [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , sadly , as [she]195-elizabeth watched the weather . "[209-papa] The sun is everything to it . [The sea]549-the sea looks quite leaden to - day , and there is no sparkle on it . And [the sands]2867-the sands , that were so yellow and sun - speckled on Thursday , are all one dull brown now . " "[209-papa] Never mind ! to - morrow may be better , " said [Ruth]81-ruth , cheerily . "[0-i] [I]0-i wonder what time [they]2867-the sands will come at ? " inquired [Mary]118-mary . "[0-i] [[Your]0-i papa]5377-your papa said [they]2867-the sands would be at [the station]2869-the station at five o'clock . And [the landlady at the Swan]2870-the landlady at the swan said it would take [them]2867-the sands half an hour to get [here]4172-here . " "[2870-the landlady at the swan] And [they]2867-the sands are to dine at six ? " asked [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . "[2870-the landlady at the swan] Yes , " answered [Ruth]81-ruth . "[2870-the landlady at the swan] And [I]0-i think if [we]2872-we had [our]2872-we tea half an hour earlier , at half - past four , and then went out for a walk , [we]2872-we should be nicely out of the way just during the bustle of the arrival and dinner ; and [we]2872-we could be in [the drawing - room]2873-the drawing - room ready against [[your]0-i papa]5377-your papa came in after dinner . " "[5377-your papa] Oh ! that would be nice , " said [they]2867-the sands ; and tea was ordered accordingly . The south - westerly wind had dropped , and the clouds were stationary , when [they]2867-the sands went out on [the sands]2867-the sands . [They]2867-the sands dug little holes near the in - coming tide , and made canals to [them]2867-the sands from the water , and blew the light sea - foam against each other ; and then stole on tiptoe near to the groups of grey and white sea - gulls , which despised [their]2867-the sands caution , flying softly and slowly away to a little distance as soon as [they]2867-the sands drew near . And in all this [Ruth]81-ruth was as great [a child as any]5527-a child as any . Only [she]81-ruth longed for [Leonard]104-leonard with [a mother]1536-a mother 's longing , as indeed [she]81-ruth did every day , and all hours of the day . By - and - by the clouds thickened yet more , and one or two drops of rain were felt . It was very little , but [Ruth]81-ruth feared a shower for [her]81-ruth delicate [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , and besides , the September evening was fast closing in the dark and sunless day . As [they]2875-they turned homewards in the rapidly increasing dusk , [they]2875-they saw [three figures on the sand near the rocks]5529-three figures on the sand near the rocks , coming in [their]2875-they direction . "[209-papa] [Papa]209-papa and [Mr Donne]225-mr donne ! " exclaimed [Mary]118-mary . "[225-mr donne] Now [we]2875-they shall see [him]225-mr donne ! " "[225-mr donne] Which do [you]2876-you make out is [him]225-mr donne ? " asked [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . "[2877-the tall one] Oh ! [the tall one]2877-the tall one , to be sure . Do n't [you]2876-you see how [papa]4310-papa always turns to [him]225-mr donne , as if [he]225-mr donne was speaking to [him]225-mr donne and not to the other ? " "[225-mr donne] Who is [the other]380-the other ? " asked [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw said that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar and [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson would come with [him]149-mr bradshaw . But that is not [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , [I]0-i am sure , " said [Ruth]81-ruth . [The girls]414-the girls looked at [each other]579-each other , as [they]414-the girls always did , when [Ruth]81-ruth mentioned [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's name ; but [she]81-ruth was perfectly unconscious both of the look and of the conjectures which gave rise to it . As soon as [the two parties]5532-the two parties drew near , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw called out in [his]149-mr bradshaw strong voice , "[193-mr farquhar] Well , [[my]0-i dears]2880-my dears ! [we]2881-we found there was an hour before dinner , so [we]2881-we came down upon [the sands]2867-the sands , and here [you]2880-my dears are . " The tone of [his]149-mr bradshaw voice assured [them]414-the girls that [he]149-mr bradshaw was in a bland and indulgent mood , and [the two little girls]5533-the two little girls ran towards [him]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw kissed [them]5533-the two little girls , and shook hands with [Ruth]81-ruth ; told [[his]149-mr bradshaw companions]536-his companions that these were [the little girls who were tempting [him]149-mr bradshaw to this extravagance of [purchasing [Eagle]229-eagle 's Crag]5536-purchasing eagle 's crag]5535-the little girls who were tempting him to this extravagance of purchasing eagle 's crag ; and then , rather doubtfully , and because [he]149-mr bradshaw saw that [Mr Donne]225-mr donne expected it , [he]149-mr bradshaw introduced "[2880-my dears] [[My]0-i daughters ' governess]2883-my daughters ' governess , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . " It was growing darker every moment , and it was time [they]414-the girls should hasten back to [the rocks]5537-the rocks , which were even now indistinct in the grey haze . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw held a hand of [each of [[his]149-mr bradshaw daughters]5539-his daughters]5538-each of his daughters , and [Ruth]81-ruth walked alongside , [the two strange gentlemen]5540-the two strange gentlemen being on the outskirts of [the party]2186-the party . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw began to give [[his]149-mr bradshaw little girls]2664-his little girls some [home]4124-home news . [He]149-mr bradshaw told [them]2664-his little girls that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was ill , and could not accompany [them]2664-his little girls ; but [Jemima]217-jemima and [[their]2664-his little girls mamma]5544-their mamma were quite well . [The gentleman nearest to [Ruth]81-ruth]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth spoke to [her]81-ruth . "[2880-my dears] Are [you]2884-you fond of [the sea]549-the sea ? " asked [he]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth . There was no answer , so [he]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth repeated [his]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth question in a different form . "[2884-you] Do [you]2884-you enjoy staying by [the seaside]2886-the seaside ? [I]0-i should rather ask . " The reply was "[0-i] Yes , " rather breathed out in a deep inspiration than spoken in a sound . [The sands]2867-the sands heaved and trembled beneath [Ruth]81-ruth . [The figures near [her]81-ruth]5547-the figures near her vanished into strange nothingness ; the sounds of [their]5547-the figures near her voices were as distant sounds in a dream , while the echo of one voice thrilled through and through . [She]81-ruth could have caught at [his]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth arm for support , in the awful dizziness which wrapped [her]81-ruth up , body and soul . That voice ! No ! if name , and face , and figure were all changed , that voice was the same which had touched [her]81-ruth girlish heart , which had spoken most tender words of love , which had won , and wrecked [her]81-ruth , and which [she]81-ruth had last heard in the low mutterings of fever . [She]81-ruth dared not look round to see the figure of [him]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth who spoke , dark as it was . [She]81-ruth knew [he]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth was there -- [she]81-ruth heard [him]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth speak in the manner in which [he]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth used to address [strangers]5548-strangers years ago ; perhaps [she]81-ruth answered [him]5545-the gentleman nearest to ruth , perhaps [she]81-ruth did not -- [God]104-leonard knew . It seemed as if weights were tied to [her]81-ruth feet -- as if the steadfast rocks receded -- as if time stood still;--it was so long , so terrible , that path across [the reeling sand]5549-the reeling sand . At the foot of [the rocks]5537-the rocks [they]5551-they separated . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , afraid lest dinner should cool , preferred the shorter way for [himself]149-mr bradshaw and [[his]149-mr bradshaw friends]4517-his friends . On [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth 's account , [the girls]414-the girls were to take the longer and easier path , which wound upwards through [a rocky field]5554-a rocky field , where larks ' nests abounded , and where [wild thyme and heather]5555-wild thyme and heather were now throwing out [their]5555-wild thyme and heather sweets to the soft night air . [The little girls]2551-the little girls spoke in eager discussion of [the strangers]5557-the strangers . [They]2551-the little girls appealed to [Ruth]81-ruth , but [Ruth]81-ruth did not answer , and [they]2551-the little girls were too impatient to convince [each other]579-each other to repeat the question . The first little ascent from the sands to the field surmounted , [Ruth]81-ruth sat down suddenly and covered [her]81-ruth face with [her]81-ruth hands . This was so unusual -- [their]2551-the little girls wishes , [their]2551-the little girls good , was so invariably the rule of motion or of rest in [their]2551-the little girls walks -- that [the girls]414-the girls , suddenly checked , stood silent and affrighted in surprise . [They]414-the girls were still more startled when [Ruth]81-ruth wailed aloud some inarticulate words . "[0-i] Are [you]2887-you not well , [dear Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ? " asked [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , gently , kneeling down on the grass by [Ruth]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth sat facing the west . The low watery twilight was on [her]81-ruth face as [she]81-ruth took [her]81-ruth hands away . So pale , so haggard , so wild and wandering a look [the girls]414-the girls had never seen on human countenance before . "[156-mrs denbigh] Well ! what are [you]2887-you doing here with [me]0-i ? [You]2887-you should not be with [me]0-i , " said [she]81-ruth , shaking [her]81-ruth head slowly . [They]414-the girls looked at [each other]579-each other . "[2887-you] [You]2887-you are sadly tired , " said [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , soothingly . "[2887-you] Come [home]4124-home , and let [me]0-i help [you]2887-you to bed . [I]0-i will tell [papa]4310-papa [you]2887-you are ill , and ask [him]4310-papa to send for [a doctor]4186-a doctor . " [Ruth]81-ruth looked at [her]81-ruth as if [she]81-ruth did not understand the meaning of [her]81-ruth words . No more [she]81-ruth did at first . But by - and - by the dulled brain began to think most vividly and rapidly , and [she]81-ruth spoke in a sharp way which deceived [the girls]414-the girls into a belief that nothing had been the matter . "[4310-papa] Yes ! [I]0-i was tired . [I]0-i am tired . Those sands -- oh ! those sands , those weary , dreadful sands ! But that is all over now . Only [my]0-i heart aches still . Feel how it flutters and beats , " said [she]81-ruth , taking [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth 's hand , and holding it to [her]81-ruth side . "[0-i] [I]0-i am quite well , though , " [she]81-ruth continued , reading pity in [the child]565-the child 's looks , as [she]81-ruth felt the trembling , quivering beat . "[0-i] [We]2891-we will go straight to [the dressing - room]2892-the dressing - room , and read a chapter ; that will still [my]0-i heart ; and then [I]0-i 'll go to bed , and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw will excuse [me]0-i , [I]0-i know , this one night . [I]0-i only ask for one night . Put on [your]2893-you right frocks , [dears]2894-dears , and do all [you]2893-you ought to do . But [I]0-i know [you]2893-you will , " said [she]81-ruth , bending down to kiss [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , and then , before [she]81-ruth had done so , raising [her]81-ruth head abruptly . "[0-i] [You]2893-you are good and [dear girls]2895-dear girls -- [God]104-leonard keep [you]2893-you so ! " By a strong effort at self - command , [she]81-ruth went onwards at an even pace , neither rushing nor pausing to sob and think . The very regularity of motion calmed [her]81-ruth . The front and back doors of [the house]426-the house were on two sides , at right angles with each other . [They]2893-you all shrunk a little from the idea of going in at the front door , now that [the strange gentlemen]5565-the strange gentlemen were about , and , accordingly , [they]2893-you went through [the quiet farm - yard]5566-the quiet farm - yard right into [the bright , ruddy kitchen]5567-the bright , ruddy kitchen , where [the servants]2544-the servants were dashing about with the dinner things . It was a contrast in more than colour to [the lonely , dusky field]5569-the lonely , dusky field , which even [the little girls]2551-the little girls perceived ; and the noise , the warmth , the very bustle of [the servants]2544-the servants , were a positive relief to [Ruth]81-ruth , and for the time lifted off the heavy press of pent - up passion . [A silent house]5572-a silent house , with [moonlit rooms]5573-moonlit rooms , or with a faint gloom brooding over [the apartments]5574-the apartments , would have been more to be dreaded . Then , [she]81-ruth must have given way , and cried out . As it was , [she]81-ruth went up [the old awkward back stairs]5575-the old awkward back stairs , and into [the room [they]2893-you were to sit in]5576-the room they were to sit in . There was no candle . [Mary]118-mary volunteered to go down for one ; and when [she]118-mary returned [she]118-mary was full of the wonders of preparation in [the drawing - room]2873-the drawing - room , and ready and eager to dress , so as to take [her]118-mary place [there]332-there before [the gentlemen]2852-the gentlemen had finished dinner . But [she]118-mary was struck by the strange paleness of [Ruth]81-ruth 's face , now that the light fell upon it . "[104-leonard] Stay up here , [dear Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ! [We]2896-we 'll tell [papa]4310-papa [you]156-mrs denbigh are tired , and are gone to bed . " Another time [Ruth]81-ruth would have dreaded [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's displeasure ; for it was an understood thing that [no one]517-no one was to be ill or tired in [[his]149-mr bradshaw household]5581-his household without leave asked , and cause given and assigned . But [she]81-ruth never thought of that now . [Her]81-ruth great desire was to hold quiet till [she]81-ruth was alone . Quietness it was not -- it was rigidity ; but [she]81-ruth succeeded in being rigid in look and movement , and went through [her]81-ruth duties to [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth ( who preferred remaining with [her]195-elizabeth [upstairs]1186-upstairs ) with wooden precision . But [her]81-ruth heart felt at times like ice , at times like burning fire ; always a heavy , heavy weight within [her]81-ruth . At last [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth went to bed . Still [Ruth]81-ruth dared not think . [Mary]118-mary would come [upstairs]1186-upstairs soon ; and with a strange , sick , shrinking yearning , [Ruth]81-ruth awaited [her]118-mary -- and the crumbs of intelligence [she]81-ruth might drop out about _ [him]149-mr bradshaw _ . [Ruth]81-ruth 's sense of hearing was quickened to miserable intensity as [she]81-ruth stood before the chimney - piece , grasping it tight with both hands -- gazing into the dying fire , but seeing -- not the dead grey embers , or the little sparks of vivid light that ran hither and thither among the wood - ashes -- but [an old farm - house]5584-an old farm - house , and [climbing , winding road]5585-climbing , winding road , and [a little golden breezy common]5586-a little golden breezy common , with [a rural inn on [the hill - top]5588-the hill - top]5587-a rural inn on the hill - top , far , far away . And through the thoughts of the past came the sharp sounds of the present -- of three voices , [one of which was almost silence , it was so hushed]5589-one of which was almost silence , it was so hushed . [Indifferent people]5590-indifferent people would only have guessed that [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was speaking by the quietness in which [the others]4149-the others listened ; but [Ruth]81-ruth heard the voice and many of the words , though they conveyed no idea to [her]81-ruth mind . [She]81-ruth was too much stunned even to feel curious to know to what [they]5592-they related . _ [He]225-mr donne _ spoke . That was [her]81-ruth one fact . Presently up came [Mary]118-mary , bounding , exultant . [Papa]209-papa had let [her]118-mary stay up one quarter of an hour longer , because [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson had asked . [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson was so clever ! [She]81-ruth did not know what to make of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , [he]225-mr donne seemed such a dawdle . But [he]225-mr donne was very handsome . Had [Ruth]81-ruth seen [him]225-mr donne ? Oh , no ! [She]81-ruth could not , it was so dark on those stupid sands . Well , never mind , [she]81-ruth would see [him]225-mr donne to - morrow . [She]81-ruth _ must _ be well to - morrow . [Papa]209-papa seemed a good deal put out that neither [she]81-ruth nor [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth were in [the drawing - room]2873-the drawing - room to - night ; and [his]209-papa last words were , "[2896-we] Tell [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh [I]0-i hope " ( and [papa]4310-papa 's "[156-mrs denbigh] hopes " always meant "[2896-we] expect " ) "[156-mrs denbigh] [she]156-mrs denbigh will be able to make breakfast at nine o'clock ; " and then [she]81-ruth would see [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . That was all [Ruth]81-ruth heard about [him]225-mr donne . [She]81-ruth went with [Mary]118-mary into [[her]118-mary bedroom]788-her bedroom , helped [her]118-mary to undress , and put the candle out . At length [she]81-ruth was alone in [[her]81-ruth own room]2447-her own room ! At length ! But the tension did not give way immediately . [She]81-ruth fastened [her]81-ruth door , and threw open the window , cold and threatening as was the night . [She]81-ruth tore off [her]81-ruth gown ; [she]81-ruth put [her]81-ruth hair back from [her]81-ruth heated face . It seemed now as if [she]81-ruth could not think -- as if thought and emotion had been repressed so sternly that they would not come to relieve [her]81-ruth stupified brain . Till all at once , like a flash of lightning , [her]81-ruth life , past and present , was revealed to [her]81-ruth in its minutest detail . And when [she]81-ruth saw [her]81-ruth very present "[156-mrs denbigh] Now , " the strange confusion of agony was too great to be borne , and [she]81-ruth cried aloud . Then [she]81-ruth was quite dead , and listened as to the sound of [galloping armies]5597-galloping armies . "[156-mrs denbigh] If [I]0-i might see [him]2898-him ! If [I]0-i might see [him]2898-him ! If [I]0-i might just ask [him]2898-him why [he]2898-him left [me]0-i ; if [I]0-i had vexed [him]2898-him in any way ; it was so strange -- so cruel ! It was not [him]2898-him ; it was [[his]2898-him mother]655-his mother , " said [she]655-his mother , almost fiercely , as if answering [herself]655-his mother . "[655-his mother] Oh , [God]104-leonard ! but [he]2898-him might have found [me]0-i out before this , " [she]655-his mother continued , sadly . "[2898-him] [He]2898-him did not care for [me]0-i , as [I]0-i did for [him]2898-him . [He]2898-him did not care for [me]0-i at all , " [she]655-his mother went on wildly and sharply . "[2898-him] [He]2898-him did [me]0-i cruel harm . [I]0-i can never again lift up [my]0-i face in innocence . [They]2900-they think [I]0-i have forgotten all , because [I]0-i do not speak . Oh , darling love ! am [I]0-i talking against [you]2901-you ? " asked [she]655-his mother , tenderly . "[0-i] [I]0-i am so torn and perplexed ! [You]2901-you , who are [the father of [[my]0-i child]5259-my child]2902-the father of my child ! " But that very circumstance , full of such tender meaning in many cases , threw a new light into [her]655-his mother mind . It changed [her]655-his mother from [the woman]5598-the woman into [the mother]618-the mother -- [the stern guardian of [[her]618-the mother child]631-her child]5600-the stern guardian of her child . [She]655-his mother was still for a time , thinking . Then [she]655-his mother began again , but in a low , deep voice , "[2904-he] [He]2904-he left [me]0-i . [He]2904-he might have been hurried off , but [he]2904-he might have inquired -- [he]2904-he might have learnt , and explained . [He]2904-he left [me]0-i to bear the burden and the shame ; and never cared to learn , as [he]2904-he might have done , of [Leonard]104-leonard 's birth . [He]2904-he has no love for [[his]2904-he child]4766-his child , and [I]0-i will have no love for [him]104-leonard . " [She]655-his mother raised [her]655-his mother voice while uttering this determination , and then , feeling [her]655-his mother own weakness , [she]655-his mother moaned out , "[2904-he] Alas ! alas ! " And then [she]655-his mother started up , for all this time [she]655-his mother had been rocking [herself]655-his mother backwards and forwards as [she]655-his mother sat on the ground , and began to pace [the room]357-the room with hurried steps . "[2904-he] What am [I]0-i thinking of ? Where am [I]0-i ? [I]0-i who have been praying these years and years to be worthy to be [[Leonard]104-leonard 's mother]5273-leonard 's mother . [[My]0-i God]867-my god ! what a depth of sin is in [my]0-i heart ! Why , the old time would be as white as snow to what it would be now , if [I]0-i sought [him]104-leonard out , and prayed for the explanation , which should re - establish [him]104-leonard in [my]0-i heart . [I]0-i who have striven ( or made a mock of trying ) to learn [God]104-leonard 's holy will , in order to bring up [Leonard]104-leonard into the full strength of [a Christian]1585-a christian -- [I]0-i who have taught [his]104-leonard sweet innocent lips to pray , ' Lead [us]2909-us not into temptation , but deliver [us]2909-us from evil ; ' and yet , somehow , [I]0-i 've been longing to give [him]104-leonard to [[his]104-leonard father]658-his father , who is -- who is-- " [she]5603-her almost choked , till at last [she]5603-her cried sharp out , "[867-my god] Oh , [[my]0-i God]867-my god ! [I]0-i do believe [[Leonard]104-leonard 's father]2912-leonard 's father is [a bad man]2913-a bad man , and yet , oh ! pitiful [God]104-leonard , [I]0-i love [him]104-leonard ; [I]0-i can not forget -- [I]0-i can not ! " [She]5603-her threw [her]5603-her body half out of the window into the cold night air . The wind was rising , and came in great gusts . The rain beat down on [her]5603-her . It did [her]5603-her good . A still , calm night would not have soothed [her]5603-her as this did . The wild tattered clouds , hurrying past the moon , gave [her]5603-her a foolish kind of pleasure that almost made [her]5603-her smile a vacant smile . The blast - driven rain came on [her]5603-her again , and drenched [her]5603-her hair through and through . The words "[0-i] stormy wind fulfilling [His]104-leonard word " came into [her]5603-her mind . [She]5603-her sat down on the floor . This time [her]5603-her hands were clasped round [her]5603-her knees . The uneasy rocking motion was stilled . "[104-leonard] [I]0-i wonder if [[my]0-i darling]4347-my darling is frightened with this blustering , noisy wind . [I]0-i wonder if [he]104-leonard is awake . " And then [her]5603-her thoughts went back to the various times of old , when , affrighted by the weather -- sounds so mysterious in the night -- [he]104-leonard had crept into [her]5603-her bed and clung to [her]5603-her , and [she]5603-her had soothed [him]104-leonard , and sweetly awed [him]104-leonard into stillness and childlike faith , by telling [him]104-leonard of the goodness and power of [God]104-leonard . Of a sudden [she]5603-her crept to a chair , and there knelt as in the very presence of [God]104-leonard , hiding [her]5603-her face , at first not speaking a word ( for did [He]104-leonard not know [her]5603-her heart ) , but by - and - by moaning out , amid [her]5603-her sobs and tears ( and now for the first time [she]5603-her wept ) , "[0-i] Oh , [[my]0-i God]867-my god , help [me]0-i , for [I]0-i am very weak . [[My]0-i God]867-my god ! [I]0-i pray [Thee]2917-thee be [my]0-i rock and [[my]0-i strong fortress]2918-my strong fortress , for [I]0-i of [myself]0-i am nothing . If [I]0-i ask in [His]867-my god name , [Thou]2917-thee wilt give it [me]0-i . In the name of [Jesus Christ]181-christ [I]0-i pray for strength to do [Thy]2919-thy will ! " [She]156-mrs denbigh could not think , or , indeed , remember anything but that [she]156-mrs denbigh was weak , and [God]104-leonard was strong , and "[0-i] a very present help in time of trouble ; " and the wind rose yet higher , and [the house]426-the house shook and vibrated as , in measured time , the great and terrible gusts came from the four quarters of the heavens and blew around it , dying away in the distance with loud and unearthly wails , which were not utterly still before the sound of the coming blast was heard like the trumpets of the vanguard of [the Prince of Air]5605-the prince of air . There was a knock at the bedroom door -- a little , gentle knock , and [a soft child]5606-a soft child 's voice . "[0-i] [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , may [I]0-i come in , please ? [I]0-i am so frightened ! " It was [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth . [Ruth]81-ruth calmed [her]81-ruth passionate breathing by one hasty draught of water , and opened the door to [the timid girl]5607-the timid girl . "[0-i] Oh , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ! did [you]156-mrs denbigh ever hear such a night ? [I]0-i am so frightened ! and [Mary]118-mary sleeps so sound . " [Ruth]81-ruth was too much shaken to be able to speak all at once ; but [she]81-ruth took [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth in [her]81-ruth arms to reassure [her]195-elizabeth . [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth stood back . "[118-mary] Why , how wet [you]156-mrs denbigh are , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ! and there 's the window open , [I]0-i do believe ! Oh , how cold it is ! " said [she]195-elizabeth , shivering . "[156-mrs denbigh] Get into [my]0-i bed , [dear]4155-dear ! " said [Ruth]81-ruth . "[156-mrs denbigh] But do come too ! The candle gives such a strange light with that long wick , and , somehow , [your]4155-dear face does not look like [you]4155-dear . Please , put the candle out , and come to bed . [I]0-i am so frightened , and it seems as if [I]0-i should be safer if [you]4155-dear were by [me]0-i . " [Ruth]81-ruth shut the window , and went to bed . [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth was all shivering and quaking . To soothe [her]195-elizabeth , [Ruth]81-ruth made a great effort ; and spoke of [Leonard]104-leonard and [his]104-leonard fears , and , in a low hesitating voice , [she]81-ruth spoke of [God]104-leonard 's tender mercy , but very humbly , for [she]81-ruth feared lest [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth should think [her]195-elizabeth better and holier than [she]195-elizabeth was . [The little girl]5608-the little girl was soon asleep , [her]5608-the little girl fears forgotten ; and [Ruth]81-ruth , worn out by passionate emotion , and obliged to be still for fear of awaking [her]81-ruth bedfellow , went off into a short slumber , through the depths of which the echoes of [her]81-ruth waking sobs quivered up . When [she]81-ruth awoke the grey light of autumnal dawn was in [the room]357-the room . [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth slept on ; but [Ruth]81-ruth heard [the servants]2544-the servants about , and the early farmyard sounds . After [she]81-ruth had recovered from the shock of consciousness and recollection , [she]81-ruth collected [her]81-ruth thoughts with a stern calmness . [He]5611-he was [here]4172-here . In a few hours [she]81-ruth must meet [him]5611-he . There was no escape , except through subterfuges and contrivances that were both false and cowardly . How it would all turn out [she]81-ruth could not say , or even guess . But of one thing [she]81-ruth was clear , and to one thing [she]81-ruth would hold fast : that was , that , come what might , [she]81-ruth would obey [God]104-leonard 's law , and , be the end of all what it might , [she]81-ruth would say , "[2921-thy] [Thy]2921-thy will be done ! " [She]81-ruth only asked for strength enough to do this when the time came . How the time would come -- what speech or action would be requisite on [her]81-ruth part , [she]81-ruth did not know -- [she]81-ruth did not even try to conjecture . [She]81-ruth left that in [His]5611-he hands . [She]81-ruth was icy cold , but very calm , when the breakfast - bell rang . [She]81-ruth went down immediately ; because [she]81-ruth felt that there was less chance of a recognition if [she]81-ruth were already at [[her]81-ruth place beside the tea - urn]5613-her place beside the tea - urn , and busied with the cups , than if [she]81-ruth came in after all were settled . [Her]81-ruth heart seemed to stand still , but [she]81-ruth felt almost a strange exultant sense of power over [herself]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth felt , rather than saw , that [he]5611-he was not [there]332-there . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw and [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson were , and so busy talking election - politics that [they]5615-they did not interrupt [their]5615-they conversation even when [they]5615-they bowed to [her]81-ruth . [[Her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils sat one on each side of [her]81-ruth . Before [they]2406-her pupils were quite settled , and while [the other two gentlemen]5617-the other two gentlemen yet hung over the fire , [Mr Donne]225-mr donne came in . [Ruth]81-ruth felt as if that moment was like death . [She]81-ruth had a kind of desire to make some sharp sound , to relieve a choking sensation , but it was over in an instant , and [she]81-ruth sat on very composed and silent -- to all outward appearance [the very model of [a governess who knew [her]81-ruth place]5619-a governess who knew her place]5618-the very model of a governess who knew her place . And by - and - by [she]81-ruth felt strangely at ease in [her]81-ruth sense of power . [She]81-ruth could even listen to what was being said . [She]81-ruth had never dared as yet to look at [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , though [her]81-ruth heart burnt to see [him]225-mr donne once again . [He]225-mr donne sounded changed . The voice had lost its fresh and youthful eagerness of tone , though in peculiarity of modulation it was the same . It could never be mistaken for the voice of [another person]4241-another person . There was a good deal said at that breakfast , for [none]468-none seemed inclined to hurry , although it was Sunday morning . [Ruth]81-ruth was compelled to sit there , and it was good for [her]81-ruth that [she]81-ruth did . That half - hour seemed to separate [the present Mr Donne]225-mr donne very effectively from [her]81-ruth imagination of what [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham had been . [She]81-ruth was [no analyser]5622-no analyser ; [she]81-ruth hardly even had learnt to notice character ; but [she]81-ruth felt there was some strange difference between [the people [she]81-ruth had lived with lately]5623-the people she had lived with lately and [the man who now leant back in [his]225-mr donne chair , listening in a careless manner to the conversation , but never joining in , or expressing any interest in it , unless it somewhere , or somehow , touched [himself]225-mr donne]5624-the man who now leant back in his chair , listening in a careless manner to the conversation , but never joining in , or expressing any interest in it , unless it somewhere , or somehow , touched himself . Now , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw always threw [himself]149-mr bradshaw into a subject ; it might be in a pompous , dogmatic sort of way , but [he]149-mr bradshaw did do it , whether it related to [himself]149-mr bradshaw or not ; and it was part of [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson 's trade to assume an interest if [he]149-mr bradshaw felt it not . But [Mr Donne]225-mr donne did neither [the one nor the other]5625-the one nor the other . When [the other two]5626-the other two were talking of many of the topics of the day , [he]225-mr donne put [his]225-mr donne glass in [his]225-mr donne eye , the better to examine into the exact nature of a cold game - pie at the other side of the table . Suddenly [Ruth]81-ruth felt that [his]225-mr donne attention was caught by [her]81-ruth . Until now , seeing [his]225-mr donne short - sightedness , [she]81-ruth had believed [herself]81-ruth safe ; now [her]81-ruth face flushed with a painful , miserable blush . But in an instant [she]81-ruth was strong and quiet . [She]81-ruth looked up straight at [his]225-mr donne face ; and , as if this action took [him]225-mr donne aback , [he]225-mr donne dropped [his]225-mr donne glass , and began eating away with great diligence . [She]81-ruth had seen [him]225-mr donne . [He]225-mr donne was changed , [she]81-ruth knew not how . In fact , the expression , which had been only occasional formerly , when [his]225-mr donne worse self predominated , had become permanent . [He]225-mr donne looked restless and dissatisfied . But [he]225-mr donne was very handsome still ; and [her]81-ruth quick eye had recognised , with a sort of strange pride , that the eyes and mouth were like [Leonard]104-leonard 's . Although perplexed by the straightforward , brave look [she]81-ruth had sent right at [him]225-mr donne , [he]225-mr donne was not entirely baffled . [He]225-mr donne thought this [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh was certainly like [poor Ruth]81-ruth ; but [this woman]5627-this woman was far handsomer . [Her]5627-this woman face was positively [Greek]231-greek ; and then such a proud , superb turn of [her]5627-this woman head ; quite queenly ! [A governess in [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's family]2196-mr bradshaw 's family]2253-a governess in mr bradshaw 's family ! Why , [she]5627-this woman might be [a Percy]5630-a percy or [a Howard]5631-a howard for the grandeur of [her]5627-this woman grace ! [Poor Ruth]81-ruth ! [This woman]5627-this woman 's hair was darker , though ; and [she]5627-this woman had less colour ; altogether [a more refined - looking person]5633-a more refined - looking person . [Poor Ruth]81-ruth ! and , for the first time for several years , [he]225-mr donne wondered what had become of [her]5627-this woman ; though , of course , there was but one thing that could have happened , and perhaps it was as well [he]225-mr donne did not know [her]5627-this woman end , for most likely it would have made [him]225-mr donne very uncomfortable . [He]225-mr donne leant back in [his]225-mr donne chair , and , unobserved ( for [he]225-mr donne would not have thought it gentlemanly to look so fixedly at [her]5627-this woman if [she]5627-this woman or [any one]425-any one noticed [him]225-mr donne ) , [he]225-mr donne put up [his]225-mr donne glass again . [She]5627-this woman was speaking to one of [[her]5627-this woman pupils]2406-her pupils , and did not see [him]225-mr donne . By [Jove]232-jove ! it must be [she]5627-this woman , though ! There were little dimples came out about the mouth as [she]5627-this woman spoke , just like those [he]225-mr donne used to admire so much in [Ruth]81-ruth , and which [he]225-mr donne had never seen in [any one else]4234-any one else -- the sunshine without the positive movement of a smile . The longer [he]225-mr donne looked the more [he]225-mr donne was convinced ; and it was with a jerk that [he]225-mr donne recovered [himself]225-mr donne enough to answer [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's question , whether [he]225-mr donne wished to go to [church]4207-church or not . "[2921-thy] [Church]4207-church ? how far -- a mile ? No ; [I]0-i think [I]0-i shall perform [my]0-i devotions at [home]4124-home to - day . " [He]225-mr donne absolutely felt jealous when [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson sprang up to open the door as [Ruth]81-ruth and [[her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils left [the room]357-the room . [He]225-mr donne was pleased to feel jealous again . [He]225-mr donne had been really afraid [he]225-mr donne was too much "[0-i] used - up " for such sensations . But [Hickson]228-mr hickson must keep [his]228-mr hickson place . What [he]228-mr hickson was paid for was doing the talking to [the electors]2744-the electors , not paying attention to [the ladies in [[their]2744-the electors families]5642-their families]5641-the ladies in their families . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne had noticed that [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson had tried to be gallant to [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw ; let [him]228-mr hickson , if [he]228-mr hickson liked ; but let [him]228-mr hickson beware how [he]228-mr hickson behaved to [this fair creature]5643-this fair creature , [Ruth]81-ruth or no [Ruth]81-ruth . It certainly was [Ruth]81-ruth ; only how the devil had [she]81-ruth played [her]81-ruth cards so well as to be [the governess]5644-the governess -- [the respected governess]5645-the respected governess , in such a family as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's ? [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's movements were evidently to be the guide of [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson 's . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw always disliked going to [church]4207-church , partly from principle , partly because [he]149-mr bradshaw never could find the places in the Prayer - book . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was in [the drawing - room]2873-the drawing - room as [Mary]118-mary came down ready equipped ; [he]225-mr donne was turning over the leaves of the large and handsome Bible . Seeing [Mary]118-mary , [he]225-mr donne was struck with a new idea . "[0-i] How singular it is , " said [he]225-mr donne , "[0-i] that the name of [Ruth]81-ruth is so seldom chosen by [those good people who go to the Bible]2924-those good people who go to the bible before [they]2924-those good people who go to the bible christen [[their]2924-those good people who go to the bible children]1803-their children . It is a pretty name , [I]0-i think . " [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw looked up . "[0-i] Why , [Mary]118-mary ! " said [he]225-mr donne , "[156-mrs denbigh] is not that [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's name ? " "[156-mrs denbigh] Yes , [papa]4310-papa , " replied [Mary]118-mary , eagerly ; "[4310-papa] and [I]0-i know [two other Ruths]2927-two other ruths ; there 's [Ruth Brown]233-ruth brown [here]4172-here , and [Ruth Macartney]81-ruth at [Eccleston]36-eccleston . " "[81-ruth] And [I]0-i have [an aunt called [Ruth]81-ruth]2929-an aunt called ruth , [Mr Donne]225-mr donne ! [I]0-i do n't think [your]225-mr donne observation holds good . Besides [[my]0-i daughters ' governess]2883-my daughters ' governess , [I]0-i know [three other Ruths]2931-three other ruths . " "[2931-three other ruths] Oh ! [I]0-i have no doubt [I]0-i was wrong . It was just a speech of which one perceives the folly the moment it is made . " But , secretly , [he]225-mr donne rejoiced with a fierce joy over the success of [his]225-mr donne device . [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth came to summon [Mary]118-mary . [Ruth]81-ruth was glad when [she]81-ruth got into the open air , and away from [the house]426-the house . Two hours were gone and over . Two out of a day , a day and a half -- for it might be late on Monday morning before [the Eccleston party]5649-the eccleston party returned . [She]81-ruth felt weak and trembling in body , but strong in power over [herself]81-ruth . [They]5650-they had left [the house]426-the house in good time for [church]4207-church , so [they]5650-they needed not to hurry ; and [they]5650-they went leisurely along [the road]4274-the road , now and then passing [some country person whom [they]5650-they knew]5654-some country person whom they knew , and with whom [they]5650-they exchanged a kindly , placid greeting . But presently , to [Ruth]81-ruth 's dismay , [she]81-ruth heard [a step behind , coming at a rapid pace]5655-a step behind , coming at a rapid pace , a peculiar clank of rather high - heeled boots , which gave a springy sound to the walk , that [she]81-ruth had known well long ago . It was like a nightmare , where the Evil dreaded is never avoided , never completely shunned , but is by [one]321-one 's side at the very moment of triumph in escape . There [he]0-i was by [her]81-ruth side ; and there was a quarter of a mile intervening between [her]81-ruth and [the church]5657-the church ; but even yet [she]81-ruth trusted that [he]0-i had not recognised [her]81-ruth . "[0-i] [I]0-i have changed [my]0-i mind , [you]2932-you see , " said [he]0-i , quietly . "[0-i] [I]0-i have some curiosity to see the architecture of [the church]5657-the church ; [some of [these old country churches]2935-these old country churches]2934-some of these old country churches have singular bits about them . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw kindly directed [me]0-i part of the way , but [I]0-i was so much puzzled by ' turns to the right , ' and ' turns to the left , ' that [I]0-i was quite glad to espy [your]2932-you party . " That speech required no positive answer of any kind ; and no answer did it receive . [He]0-i had not expected a reply . [He]0-i knew , if [she]81-ruth were [Ruth]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth could not answer any indifferent words of [his]0-i ; and [her]81-ruth silence made [him]0-i more certain of [her]81-ruth identity with [the lady]470-the lady by [his]0-i side . "[0-i] The scenery here is of a kind new to [me]0-i ; neither grand , wild , nor yet marked by high cultivation ; and yet it has great charms . [It]2936-it reminds [me]0-i of [some parts of [Wales]22-wales]2937-some parts of wales . " [He]0-i breathed deeply , and then added , "[2932-you] [You]2932-you have been in [Wales]22-wales , [I]0-i believe ? " [He]0-i spoke low ; almost in a whisper . [The little church - bell]5659-the little church - bell began to call [the lagging people]5660-the lagging people with its quick , sharp summons . [Ruth]81-ruth writhed in body and spirit , but struggled on . [The church]5657-the church - door would be gained at last ; and in [that holy place]5662-that holy place [she]81-ruth would find peace . [He]0-i repeated in a louder tone , so as to compel an answer in order to conceal [her]81-ruth agitation from [the girls]414-the girls : "[2932-you] Have [you]2932-you never been in [Wales]22-wales ? " [He]0-i used "[2932-you] never " instead of "[2932-you] ever , " and laid the emphasis on that word , in order to mark [his]0-i meaning to [Ruth]81-ruth , and [Ruth]81-ruth only . But [he]0-i drove [her]81-ruth to bay . "[2932-you] [I]0-i have been in [Wales]22-wales , [sir]4181-sir , " [she]81-ruth replied , in a calm , grave tone . "[0-i] [I]0-i was [there]332-there many years ago . Events took place [there]332-there , which contribute to make the recollection of that time most miserable to [me]0-i . [I]0-i shall be obliged to [you]4181-sir , [sir]4181-sir , if [you]4181-sir will make no further reference to it . " [The little girls]2551-the little girls wondered how [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh could speak in such a tone of quiet authority to [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , who was almost [a member of Parliament]5665-a member of parliament . But [they]2551-the little girls settled that [[her]81-ruth husband]730-her husband must have died in [Wales]22-wales , and , of course , that would make the recollection of [the country]514-the country "[0-i] most miserable , " as [she]81-ruth said . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne did not dislike the answer , and [he]225-mr donne positively admired the dignity with which [she]81-ruth spoke . [His]225-mr donne leaving [her]81-ruth as [he]225-mr donne did must have made [her]81-ruth very miserable ; and [he]225-mr donne liked the pride that made [her]81-ruth retain [her]81-ruth indignation , until [he]225-mr donne could speak to [her]81-ruth in private , and explain away a good deal of what [she]81-ruth might complain of with some justice . [The church]5657-the church was reached . [They]2551-the little girls all went up [the middle aisle]5669-the middle aisle into [the [Eagle]229-eagle 's Crag pew]5670-the eagle 's crag pew . [He]225-mr donne followed [them]2551-the little girls in , entered [himself]225-mr donne , and shut the door . [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart sank as [she]81-ruth saw [him]225-mr donne there ; just opposite to [her]81-ruth ; coming between [her]81-ruth and [the clergyman who was to read out the Word of [God]104-leonard]5671-the clergyman who was to read out the word of god . It was merciless -- it was cruel to haunt [her]81-ruth [there]332-there . [She]81-ruth durst not lift [her]81-ruth eyes to the bright eastern light -- [she]81-ruth could not see how peacefully the marble images of the dead lay on [[their]2551-the little girls tombs]5673-their tombs , for [he]225-mr donne was between [her]81-ruth and all Light and Peace . [She]81-ruth knew that [his]225-mr donne look was on [her]81-ruth ; that [he]225-mr donne never turned [his]225-mr donne glance away . [She]81-ruth could not join in the prayer for the remission of sins while [he]225-mr donne was there , for [his]225-mr donne very presence seemed as a sign that [their]2551-the little girls stain would never be washed out of [her]81-ruth life . But , although goaded and chafed by [her]81-ruth thoughts and recollections , [she]81-ruth kept very still . No sign of emotion , no flush of colour was on [her]81-ruth face as [he]225-mr donne looked at [her]81-ruth . [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth could not find [her]195-elizabeth place , and then [Ruth]81-ruth breathed once , long and deeply , as [she]81-ruth moved up the pew , and out of the straight , burning glance of those eyes of evil meaning . When [they]2551-the little girls sat down for the reading of the first lesson , [Ruth]81-ruth turned the corner of the seat so as no longer to be opposite to [him]225-mr donne . [She]81-ruth could not listen . The words seemed to be uttered in [some world far away]5674-some world far away , from which [she]81-ruth was exiled and cast out ; their sound , and yet more their meaning , was dim and distant . But in this extreme tension of mind to hold in [her]81-ruth bewildered agony , it so happened that one of [her]81-ruth senses was preternaturally acute . While all [the church]5657-the church and [the people]460-the people swam in misty haze , one point in a dark corner grew clearer and clearer till [she]81-ruth saw ( what at another time [she]81-ruth could not have discerned at all ) a face -- a gargoyle [I]0-i think [they]2551-the little girls call it -- at the end of the arch next to the narrowing of [the nave]5677-the nave into [the chancel]5678-the chancel , and in the shadow of that contraction . The face was beautiful in feature ( the next to it was a grinning monkey ) , but it was not the features that were the most striking part . There was a half - open mouth , not in any way distorted out of its exquisite beauty by the intense expression of suffering it conveyed . Any distortion of the face by mental agony implies that a struggle with circumstance is going on . But in this face , if such struggle had been , it was over now . Circumstance had conquered ; and there was no hope from mortal endeavour , or help from [mortal creature]5679-mortal creature to be had . But the eyes looked onward and upward to the "[0-i] Hills from whence cometh [our]2942-they help . " And though the parted lips seemed ready to quiver with agony , yet the expression of the whole face , owing to these strange , stony , and yet spiritual eyes , was high and consoling . If mortal gaze had never sought its meaning before , in the deep shadow where it had been placed long centuries ago , yet [Ruth]81-ruth 's did now . Who could have imagined such a look ? [Who could have witnessed -- perhaps felt -- such infinite sorrow]5680-who could have witnessed -- perhaps felt -- such infinite sorrow , and yet dared to lift it up by Faith into a peace so pure ? Or was it a mere conception ? If so , what [a soul the unknown carver]5681-a soul the unknown carver must have had ! for [creator]5682-creator and [handicraftsman]5683-handicraftsman must have been [one]321-one ; [no two minds]5685-no two minds could have been in such perfect harmony . Whatever it was -- however it came there -- [imaginer]5686-imaginer , [carver]5687-carver , [sufferer]5688-sufferer , all were long passed away . Human art was ended -- human life done -- human suffering over ; but this remained ; it stilled [Ruth]81-ruth 's beating heart to look on it . [She]81-ruth grew still enough to hear words which have come to many in [their]2551-the little girls time of need , and awed [them]2551-the little girls in the presence of the extremest suffering that [the hushed world]5689-the hushed world has ever heard of . The second lesson for the morning of the 25th of September is the 26th chapter of [St Matthew]167-matthew 's Gospel . And when [they]2942-they prayed again , [Ruth]81-ruth 's tongue was unloosed , and [she]81-ruth also could pray , in [His]0-i name , who underwent the agony in [the garden]783-the garden . As [they]2942-they came out of [church]4207-church , there was a little pause and gathering at the door . It had begun to rain ; [those who had umbrellas]5692-those who had umbrellas were putting them up ; [those who had not were]5693-those who had not were regretting , and wondering how long it would last . Standing for a moment , impeded by [the people who were thus collected under the porch]5694-the people who were thus collected under the porch , [Ruth]81-ruth heard a voice close to [her]81-ruth say , very low , but very distinctly , "[0-i] [I]0-i have much to say to [you]2943-you -- much to explain . [I]0-i entreat [you]2943-you to give [me]0-i the opportunity . " [Ruth]81-ruth did not reply . [She]81-ruth would not acknowledge that [she]81-ruth heard ; but [she]81-ruth trembled nevertheless , for the well - remembered voice was low and soft , and had yet its power to thrill . [She]81-ruth earnestly desired to know why and how [he]0-i had left [her]81-ruth . It appeared to [her]81-ruth as if that knowledge could alone give [her]81-ruth a relief from the restless wondering that distracted [her]81-ruth mind , and that one explanation could do no harm . "[0-i] _ No ! _ " [the higher spirit]5695-the higher spirit made answer ; "[0-i] _ it must not be . _ " [Ruth]81-ruth and [the girls]414-the girls had each an umbrella . [She]81-ruth turned to [Mary]118-mary , and said , "[118-mary] [Mary]118-mary , give [your]118-mary umbrella to [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , and come under [mine]118-mary . " [Her]81-ruth way of speaking was short and decided ; [she]81-ruth was compressing [her]81-ruth meaning into as few words as possible . [The little girl]5608-the little girl obeyed in silence . As [they]414-the girls went first through [the churchyard stile]5698-the churchyard stile , [Mr Donne]225-mr donne spoke again . "[118-mary] [You]118-mary are unforgiving , " said [he]225-mr donne . "[118-mary] [I]0-i only ask [you]118-mary to hear [me]0-i . [I]0-i have a right to be heard , [Ruth]81-ruth ! [I]0-i wo n't believe [you]118-mary are so much changed , as not to listen to [me]0-i when [I]0-i entreat . " [He]225-mr donne spoke in a tone of soft complaint . But [he]225-mr donne [himself]225-mr donne had done much to destroy the illusion which had hung about [his]225-mr donne memory for years , whenever [Ruth]81-ruth had allowed [herself]81-ruth to think of it . Besides which , during the time of [her]81-ruth residence in [the Benson family]5699-the benson family , [her]81-ruth feeling of what [people]322-people ought to be had been unconsciously raised and refined ; and [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , even while [she]81-ruth had to struggle against the force of past recollections , repelled [her]81-ruth so much by what [he]225-mr donne was at present , that every speech of [his]225-mr donne , every minute [they]5701-they were together , served to make [her]81-ruth path more and more easy to follow . [His]225-mr donne voice retained something of its former influence . When [he]225-mr donne spoke , without [her]81-ruth seeing [him]225-mr donne , [she]81-ruth could not help remembering former days . [She]81-ruth did not answer this last speech any more than the first . [She]81-ruth saw clearly , that , putting aside all thought as to the character of [their]5701-they former relationship , it had been dissolved by [his]225-mr donne will -- [his]225-mr donne act and deed ; and that , therefore , the power to refuse any further intercourse whatsoever remained with [her]81-ruth . It sometimes seems a little strange how , after having earnestly prayed to be delivered from temptation , and having given [ourselves]5702-ourselves with shut eyes into [God]104-leonard 's hand , from that time every thought , every outward influence , every acknowledged law of life , seems to lead [us]5702-ourselves on from strength to strength . It seems strange sometimes , because [we]5702-ourselves notice the coincidence ; but it is the natural , unavoidable consequence of all truth and goodness being one and the same , and therefore carried out in every circumstance , external and internal , of [God]104-leonard 's creation . When [Mr Donne]225-mr donne saw that [Ruth]81-ruth would not answer [him]225-mr donne , [he]225-mr donne became only the more determined that [she]81-ruth should hear what [he]225-mr donne had to say . What that was [he]225-mr donne did not exactly know . The whole affair was most mysterious and piquant . The umbrella protected [Ruth]81-ruth from more than the rain on that walk homewards , for under its shelter [she]81-ruth could not be spoken to unheard . [She]81-ruth had not rightly understood at what time [she]81-ruth and [the girls]414-the girls were to dine . From the gathering at meal - times [she]81-ruth must not shrink . [She]81-ruth must show no sign of weakness . But , oh ! the relief , after that walk , to sit in [[her]81-ruth own room]2447-her own room , locked up , so that neither [Mary]118-mary nor [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth could come by surprise , and to let [her]81-ruth weary frame ( weary with being so long braced up to rigidity and stiff quiet ) fall into a chair anyhow -- all helpless , nerveless , motionless , as if the very bones had melted out of [her]81-ruth ! The peaceful rest which [her]81-ruth mind took was in thinking of [Leonard]104-leonard . [She]81-ruth dared not look before or behind , but [she]81-ruth could see [him]104-leonard well at present . [She]81-ruth brooded over the thought of [him]104-leonard , till [she]81-ruth dreaded [[his]104-leonard father]658-his father more and more . By the light of [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's purity and innocence , [she]81-ruth saw evil clearly , and yet more clearly . [She]81-ruth thought that , if [Leonard]104-leonard ever came to know the nature of [his]104-leonard birth , [she]81-ruth had nothing for it but to die out of [his]104-leonard sight . [He]104-leonard could never know -- human heart could never know , [her]81-ruth ignorant innocence , and all the small circumstances which had impelled [her]81-ruth onwards . But [God]104-leonard knew . And if [Leonard]104-leonard heard of [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother 's error , why , nothing remained but death ; for [she]81-ruth felt , then , as if [she]81-ruth had it in [her]81-ruth power to die innocently out of such future agony ; but that escape is not so easy . Suddenly a fresh thought came , and [she]81-ruth prayed that , through whatever suffering , [she]81-ruth might be purified . Whatever trials , woes , measureless pangs , [God]104-leonard might see fit to chastise [her]81-ruth with , [she]81-ruth would not shrink , if only at last [she]81-ruth might come into [His]104-leonard presence in [Heaven]56-heaven . Alas ! the shrinking from suffering [we]5708-we can not help . That part of [her]81-ruth prayer was vain . And as for the rest , was not the sure justice of [His]104-leonard law finding [her]81-ruth out even now ? [His]104-leonard laws once broken , [His]104-leonard justice and the very nature of those laws bring the immutable retribution ; but if [we]5708-we turn penitently to [Him]104-leonard , [He]104-leonard enables [us]5708-we to bear [our]5708-we punishment with a meek and docile heart , "[0-i] for [His]2944-his mercy endureth for ever . " [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had felt [himself]149-mr bradshaw rather wanting in proper attention to [[his]149-mr bradshaw guest]2835-his guest , inasmuch as [he]149-mr bradshaw had been unable , all in a minute , to comprehend [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's rapid change of purpose ; and , before it had entered into [his]149-mr bradshaw mind that , notwithstanding the distance of [the church]5657-the church , [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was going thither , [that gentleman]5711-that gentleman was out of the sight , and far out of the reach , of [[his]225-mr donne burly host]5712-his burly host . But though [the latter]1745-the latter had so far neglected the duties of hospitality as to allow [[his]225-mr donne visitor]5508-his visitor to sit in [the [Eagle]229-eagle 's Crag pew]57-the eagle 's crag pew with no other guard of honour than [the children]550-the children and [the governess]5644-the governess , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw determined to make up for it by extra attention during the remainder of the day . Accordingly [he]149-mr bradshaw never left [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . Whatever wish [that gentleman]5711-that gentleman expressed , it was the study of [[his]225-mr donne host]5510-his host to gratify . Did [he]5711-that gentleman hint at the pleasure which a walk in such beautiful scenery would give [him]5711-that gentleman , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was willing to accompany [him]5711-that gentleman , although at [Eccleston]36-eccleston it was a principle with [him]149-mr bradshaw not to take any walks for pleasure on a Sunday . When [Mr Donne]225-mr donne turned round , and recollected letters which must be written , and which would compel [him]225-mr donne to stay at [home]4124-home , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw instantly gave up the walk , and remained at hand , ready to furnish [him]225-mr donne with any writing - materials which could be wanted , and which were not laid out in [the half - furnished house]5720-the half - furnished house . [Nobody]5038-nobody knew where [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson was all this time . [He]228-mr hickson had sauntered out after [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , when [the latter]1745-the latter set off for [church]4207-church , and [he]228-mr hickson had never returned . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne kept wondering if [he]225-mr donne could have met [Ruth]81-ruth -- if , in fact , [she]81-ruth had gone out with [[her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils , now that the afternoon had cleared up . This uneasy wonder , and a few mental imprecations on [[his]225-mr donne host]5510-his host 's polite attention , together with the letter - writing pretence , passed away the afternoon -- the longest afternoon [he]225-mr donne had ever spent ; and of weariness [he]225-mr donne had had [his]225-mr donne share . Lunch was lingering in [the dining - room]5320-the dining - room , left there for [the truant Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson ; but of [the children]550-the children or [Ruth]81-ruth there was no sign . [He]225-mr donne ventured on a distant inquiry as to [their]2945-they whereabouts . "[2945-they] [They]2945-they dine early ; [they]2945-they are gone to [church]4207-church again . [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh was [a member of [the Establishment]2948-the establishment]2947-a member of the establishment once ; and , though [she]156-mrs denbigh attends [chapel]1864-chapel at [home]4124-home , [she]156-mrs denbigh seems glad to have an opportunity of going to [church]4207-church . " [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was on the point of asking some further questions about "[156-mrs denbigh] [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , " when [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson came in , loud - spoken , cheerful , hungry , and as ready to talk about [his]228-mr hickson ramble , and the way in which [he]228-mr hickson had lost and found [himself]228-mr hickson , as [he]228-mr hickson was about everything else . [He]228-mr hickson knew how to dress up the commonest occurrence with a little exaggeration , a few puns , and a happy quotation or two , so as to make it sound very agreeable . [He]228-mr hickson could read faces , and saw that [he]228-mr hickson had been missed ; [both host]5728-both host and [visitor]5729-visitor looked moped to death . [He]228-mr hickson determined to devote [himself]228-mr hickson to [their]5728-both host amusement during the remainder of the day , for [he]228-mr hickson had really lost [himself]228-mr hickson , and felt that [he]228-mr hickson had been away too long on a dull Sunday , when [people]322-people were apt to get hypped if not well amused . "[156-mrs denbigh] It is really a shame to be indoors in such a place . Rain ? yes , it rained some hours ago , but now it is splendid weather . [I]0-i feel [myself]0-i quite qualified for guide , [I]0-i assure [you]2952-you . [I]0-i can show [you]2952-you all the beauties of [the neighbourhood]849-the neighbourhood , and throw in a bog and a nest of vipers to boot . " [Mr Donne]225-mr donne languidly assented to this proposal of going out ; and then [he]225-mr donne became restless until [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson had eaten a hasty lunch , for [he]228-mr hickson hoped to meet [Ruth]81-ruth on the way from [church]4207-church , to be near [her]81-ruth , and watch [her]81-ruth , though [he]228-mr hickson might not be able to speak to [her]81-ruth . To have the slow hours roll away -- to know [he]228-mr hickson must leave the next day -- and yet , so close to [her]81-ruth , not to be seeing [her]81-ruth -- was more than [he]228-mr hickson could bear . In an impetuous kind of way , [he]228-mr hickson disregarded all [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson 's offers of guidance to lovely views , and turned a deaf ear to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's expressed wish of showing [him]228-mr hickson [the land]1248-the land belonging to [the house]426-the house ( "[0-i] very little for fourteen thousand pounds " ) , and set off wilfully on [the road leading to [the church]5657-the church]5734-the road leading to the church , from which , [he]228-mr hickson averred , [he]228-mr hickson had seen a view which nothing else about [the place]444-the place could equal . [They]5737-they met [the country people]1908-the country people dropping homewards . No [Ruth]81-ruth was [there]332-there . [She]81-ruth and [[her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils had returned by the field - way , as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw informed [[his]149-mr bradshaw guests]5741-his guests at dinner - time . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was very captious all through dinner . [He]225-mr donne thought it would never be over , and cursed [Hickson]228-mr hickson 's interminable stories , which were told on purpose to amuse [him]225-mr donne . [His]225-mr donne heart gave a fierce bound when [he]225-mr donne saw [her]81-ruth in [the drawing - room]2873-the drawing - room with [the little girls]2551-the little girls . [She]81-ruth was reading to [them]2551-the little girls -- with how sick and trembling a heart , no words can tell . But [she]81-ruth could master and keep down outward signs of [her]81-ruth emotion . An hour more to - night ( part of which was to be spent in family prayer , and all in the safety of company ) , another hour in the morning ( when all would be engaged in the bustle of departure)--if , during this short space of time , [she]81-ruth could not avoid speaking to [him]225-mr donne , [she]81-ruth could at least keep [him]225-mr donne at such a distance as to make [him]225-mr donne feel that henceforward [[her]81-ruth world]507-her world and [his]225-mr donne belonged to separate systems , wide as the heavens apart . By degrees [she]81-ruth felt that [he]225-mr donne was drawing near to where [she]81-ruth stood . [He]225-mr donne was by the table examining the books that lay upon it . [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth drew off a little space , awe - stricken by [the future member for [Eccleston]36-eccleston]5745-the future member for eccleston . As [he]225-mr donne bent [his]225-mr donne head over a book , [he]225-mr donne said , "[0-i] [I]0-i implore [you]2954-you ; five minutes alone . " [The little girls]2551-the little girls could not hear ; but [Ruth]81-ruth , hemmed in so that no escape was possible , did hear . [She]81-ruth took sudden courage , and said , in a clear voice , "[0-i] Will [you]2954-you read the whole passage aloud ? [I]0-i do not remember it . " [Mr Hickson]228-mr hickson , hovering at no great distance , heard these words , and drew near to second [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's request . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , who was very sleepy after [his]149-mr bradshaw unusually late dinner , and longing for bedtime , joined in the request , for it would save the necessity for making talk , and [he]149-mr bradshaw might , perhaps , get in a nap , undisturbed and unnoticed , before [the servants]2544-the servants came in to prayers . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was caught ; [he]225-mr donne was obliged to read aloud , although [he]225-mr donne did not know what [he]225-mr donne was reading . In the middle of some sentence the door opened , a rush of [servants]831-servants came in , and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw became particularly wide awake in an instant , and read [them]2544-the servants a long sermon with great emphasis and unction , winding up with a prayer almost as long . [Ruth]81-ruth sat with [her]81-ruth head drooping , more from exhaustion after a season of effort than because [she]81-ruth shunned [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's looks . [He]225-mr donne had so lost [his]225-mr donne power over [her]81-ruth -- [his]225-mr donne power , which had stirred [her]81-ruth so deeply the night before -- that , except as one knowing [her]81-ruth error and [her]81-ruth shame , and making a cruel use of such knowledge , [she]81-ruth had quite separated [him]225-mr donne from the idol of [her]81-ruth youth . And yet , for the sake of that first and only love , [she]81-ruth would gladly have known what explanation [he]225-mr donne could offer to account for leaving [her]81-ruth . It would have been something gained to [her]81-ruth own self - respect , if [she]81-ruth had learnt that [he]225-mr donne was not then , as [she]81-ruth felt [him]225-mr donne to be now , cold and egotistical , caring for [no one]517-no one and nothing but what related to [himself]225-mr donne . [Home]4124-home , and [Leonard]104-leonard -- how strangely peaceful [the two]1675-the two seemed ! Oh , for the rest that a dream about [Leonard]104-leonard would bring ! [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth went to bed immediately after prayers , and [Ruth]81-ruth accompanied [them]1675-the two . It was planned that [the gentlemen]2852-the gentlemen should leave early the next morning . [They]2852-the gentlemen were to breakfast half an hour sooner , to catch [the railway train]5753-the railway train ; and this by [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's own arrangement , who had been as eager about [his]225-mr donne canvassing , the week before , as it was possible for [him]225-mr donne to be , but who now wished [Eccleston]222-eccleston and [the Dissenting interest therein]5754-the dissenting interest therein very fervently at the devil . Just as [the carriage]4377-the carriage came round , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw turned to [Ruth]81-ruth : "[2954-you] Any message for [Leonard]104-leonard beyond love , which is a matter of course ? " [Ruth]81-ruth gasped -- for [she]81-ruth saw [Mr Donne]225-mr donne catch at the name ; [she]81-ruth did not guess the sudden sharp jealousy called out by the idea that [Leonard]104-leonard was [a grown - up man]5756-a grown - up man . "[104-leonard] Who is [Leonard]104-leonard ? " said [he]225-mr donne to [the little girl standing by [him]225-mr donne]5757-the little girl standing by him ; [he]225-mr donne did not know which [she]5757-the little girl standing by him was . "[156-mrs denbigh] [[Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's little boy]2955-mrs denbigh 's little boy , " answered [Mary]118-mary . Under some pretence or other , [he]225-mr donne drew near to [Ruth]81-ruth ; and in that low voice , which [she]81-ruth had learnt to loathe , [he]225-mr donne said , "[156-mrs denbigh] [[Our]2956-our child]2957-our child ! " By the white misery that turned [her]81-ruth face to stone -- by the wild terror in [her]81-ruth imploring eyes -- by the gasping breath which came out as [the carriage]4377-the carriage drove away -- [he]225-mr donne knew that [he]225-mr donne had seized the spell to make [her]81-ruth listen at last . CHAPTER XXIV The Meeting on [the Sands]58-the sands "[156-mrs denbigh] [He]2958-he will take [him]2958-he away from [me]0-i ! [He]2958-he will take [the child]565-the child from [me]0-i ! " These words rang like a tolling bell through [Ruth]81-ruth 's head . It seemed to [her]81-ruth that [her]81-ruth doom was certain . [Leonard]104-leonard would be taken from [her]81-ruth ! [She]81-ruth had a firm conviction -- not the less firm because [she]81-ruth knew not on what it was based -- that [a child]556-a child , whether legitimate or not , belonged of legal right to [the father]2701-the father . And [Leonard]104-leonard , of [all children]2358-all children , was [the prince]5762-the prince and [monarch]5763-monarch . [Every man]1615-every man 's heart would long to call [Leonard]104-leonard "[895-child] [Child]895-child ! " [She]81-ruth had been too strongly taxed to have much power left [her]81-ruth to reason coolly and dispassionately , just then , even if [she]81-ruth had been with [any one who could furnish [her]81-ruth with information from which to draw correct conclusions]5765-any one who could furnish her with information from which to draw correct conclusions . The one thought haunted [her]81-ruth night and day--"He[2958-he] will take [[my]0-i child]5259-my child away from [me]0-i ! " In [her]81-ruth dreams [she]81-ruth saw [Leonard]104-leonard borne away into [some dim land]5766-some dim land , to which [she]81-ruth could not follow . Sometimes [he]104-leonard sat in [a swiftly - moving carriage]5767-a swiftly - moving carriage , at [[his]104-leonard father]658-his father 's side , and smiled on [her]81-ruth as [he]104-leonard passed by , as if going to promised pleasure . At another time [he]104-leonard was struggling to return to [her]81-ruth ; stretching out [his]104-leonard little arms , and crying to [her]81-ruth for the help [she]81-ruth could not give . How [she]81-ruth got through the days , [she]81-ruth did not know ; [her]81-ruth body moved about and habitually acted , but [her]81-ruth spirit was with [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child . [She]81-ruth thought often of writing and warning [Mr Benson]143-mr benson of [Leonard]104-leonard 's danger ; but then [she]81-ruth shrank from recurring to circumstances , all mention of which had ceased years ago ; the very recollection of which seemed buried deep for ever . Besides , [she]81-ruth feared occasioning discord or commotion in the quiet circle in which [she]81-ruth lived . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's deep anger against [[her]81-ruth betrayer]5770-her betrayer had been shown too clearly in the old time to allow [her]81-ruth to think that [he]104-leonard would keep it down without expression now . [He]104-leonard would cease to do anything to forward [his]104-leonard election ; [he]104-leonard would oppose [him]104-leonard as much as [he]104-leonard could ; and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw would be angry , and a storm would arise , from the bare thought of which [Ruth]81-ruth shrank with the cowardliness of [a person thoroughly worn out with late contest]5771-a person thoroughly worn out with late contest . [She]81-ruth was bodily wearied with [her]81-ruth spiritual buffeting . One morning , three or four days after [their]2962-their departure , [she]81-ruth received a letter from [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . [She]81-ruth could not open it at first , and put it on one side , clenching [her]81-ruth hand over it all the time . At last [she]81-ruth tore it open . [Leonard]104-leonard was safe as yet . There were a few lines in [his]104-leonard great round hand , speaking of events no larger than the loss of a beautiful "[2958-he] alley . " There was a sheet from [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . [She]81-ruth always wrote letters in the manner of a diary . "[2958-he] Monday [we]2962-their did so - and - so ; Tuesday , so - and - so , & amp;c . " [Ruth]81-ruth glanced rapidly down the page . Yes , here it was ! Sick , fluttering heart , be still ! "[2962-their] In the middle of [the damsons]2963-the damsons , when [they]2963-the damsons were just on the fire , there was a knock at the door . [[My]0-i brother]4794-my brother was out , and [Sally]148-sally was washing up , and [I]0-i was stirring [the preserve]2965-the preserve with [my]0-i great apron and bib on ; so [I]0-i bade [Leonard]104-leonard come in from [the garden]783-the garden and open the door . But [I]0-i would have washed [his]104-leonard face first , if [I]0-i had known who it was ! It was [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw and [the Mr Donne]225-mr donne that [they]2963-the damsons hope to send up to [the House of Commons]2967-the house of commons , as [member of Parliament for [Eccleston]36-eccleston]2968-member of parliament for eccleston , and [another gentleman]2969-another gentleman , whose name [I]0-i never heard . [They]2963-the damsons had come canvassing ; and when [they]2963-the damsons found [[my]0-i brother]4794-my brother was out , [they]2963-the damsons asked [Leonard]104-leonard if [they]2963-the damsons could see [me]0-i . [The child]565-the child said , ' Yes ! if [I]0-i could leave [the damsons]2963-the damsons ; ' and straightway came to call [me]0-i , leaving [them]2963-the damsons standing in [the passage]1842-the passage . [I]0-i whipped off [my]0-i apron , and took [Leonard]104-leonard by the hand , for [I]0-i fancied [I]0-i should feel less awkward if [he]104-leonard was with [me]0-i ; and then [I]0-i went and asked [them]2963-the damsons all into [the study]1738-the study , for [I]0-i thought [I]0-i should like [them]2963-the damsons to see how many books [Thurstan]161-thurstan had got . Then [they]2963-the damsons began talking politics at [me]0-i in a very polite manner , only [I]0-i could not make head or tail of what [they]2963-the damsons meant ; and [Mr Donne]225-mr donne took a deal of notice of [Leonard]104-leonard , and called [him]104-leonard to [him]225-mr donne ; and [I]0-i am sure [he]225-mr donne noticed what [a noble , handsome boy]2975-a noble , handsome boy [he]104-leonard was , though [his]104-leonard face was very brown and red , and hot with digging , and [his]104-leonard curls all tangled . [Leonard]104-leonard talked back as if [he]104-leonard had known [him]104-leonard all [his]104-leonard life , till , [I]0-i think , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw thought [he]104-leonard was making too much noise , and bid [him]104-leonard remember [he]104-leonard ought to be seen , not heard . So [he]104-leonard stood as still and stiff as [a soldier]2976-a soldier , close to [Mr Donne]225-mr donne ; and as [I]0-i could not help looking at [the two]1675-the two , and thinking how handsome [they]1675-the two both were in [their]1675-the two different ways , [I]0-i could not tell [Thurstan]161-thurstan half the messages [the gentlemen]2852-the gentlemen left for [him]161-thurstan . But there was one thing more [I]0-i must tell [you]2979-you , though [I]0-i said [I]0-i would not . When [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was talking to [Leonard]104-leonard , [he]225-mr donne took off [his]225-mr donne watch and chain and put it round [the boy]4189-the boy 's neck , who was pleased enough , [you]2979-you may be sure . [I]0-i bade [him]225-mr donne give it back to [the gentleman]469-the gentleman , when [they]2852-the gentlemen were all going away ; and [I]0-i was quite surprised , and very uncomfortable , when [Mr Donne]225-mr donne said [he]225-mr donne had given it to [Leonard]104-leonard , and that [he]225-mr donne was to keep it for [his]225-mr donne own . [I]0-i could see [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was annoyed , and [he]149-mr bradshaw and [the other gentleman]2982-the other gentleman spoke to [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , and [I]0-i heard [them]2852-the gentlemen say , ' too barefaced ; ' and [I]0-i shall never forget [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's proud , stubborn look back at [them]2852-the gentlemen , nor [his]225-mr donne way of saying , ' [I]0-i allow [no one]517-no one to interfere with what [I]0-i choose to do with [my]0-i own . ' And [he]225-mr donne looked so haughty and displeased , [I]0-i durst say nothing at the time . But when [I]0-i told [Thurstan]161-thurstan , [he]161-thurstan was very grieved and angry ; and said [he]161-thurstan had heard that [[our]2984-our party]2985-our party were bribing , but that [he]161-thurstan never could have thought [they]2985-our party would have tried to do it at [[his]161-thurstan house]2164-his house . [Thurstan]161-thurstan is very much out of spirits about this election altogether ; and , indeed , it does make sad work up and down [the town]396-the town . However , [he]161-thurstan sent back the watch with a letter to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ; and [Leonard]104-leonard was very good about it , so [I]0-i gave [him]104-leonard a taste of [the new damson - preserve]2988-the new damson - preserve on [his]104-leonard bread for supper . " Although [a stranger]2130-a stranger might have considered this letter wearisome from the multiplicity of the details , [Ruth]81-ruth craved greedily after more . What had [Mr Donne]225-mr donne said to [Leonard]104-leonard ? Had [Leonard]104-leonard liked [[his]104-leonard new acquaintance]5773-his new acquaintance ? Were [they]2989-they likely to meet again ? After wondering and wondering over these points , [Ruth]81-ruth composed [herself]81-ruth by the hope that in a day or two [she]81-ruth should hear again ; and to secure this end , [she]81-ruth answered the letters by return of post . That was on Thursday . On Friday [she]81-ruth had another letter , in a strange hand . It was from [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . No name , no initials were given . If it had fallen into [another person]4241-another person 's hands , [they]4241-another person could not have recognised [the writer]5775-the writer , nor guessed to whom it was sent . It contained simply these words : "[0-i] For [[our]2989-they child]2957-our child 's sake , and in [his]2957-our child name , [I]0-i summon [you]2991-you to appoint a place where [I]0-i can speak , and [you]2991-you can listen , undisturbed . The time must be on Sunday ; the limit of distance may be the circumference of [your]2991-you power of walking . [My]0-i words may be commands , but [my]0-i fond heart entreats . More [I]0-i shall not say now , but , remember ! [[your]2991-you boy]2992-your boy 's welfare depends on [your]2991-you acceding to this request . Address B. D. , [Post - Office]2993-post - office , [Eccleston]36-eccleston . " [Ruth]81-ruth did not attempt to answer this letter till the last five minutes before the post went out . [She]81-ruth could not decide until forced to it . Either way [she]81-ruth dreaded . [She]81-ruth was very nearly leaving the letter altogether unanswered . But suddenly [she]81-ruth resolved [she]81-ruth would know all , the best , the worst . No cowardly dread of [herself]81-ruth , or of [others]368-others , should make [her]81-ruth neglect aught that came to [her]81-ruth in [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's name . [She]81-ruth took up a pen and wrote : "[2991-you] [The sands below the rocks]2994-the sands below the rocks , where [we]2995-they met [you]2991-you the other night . Time , afternoon [church]4207-church . " [Sunday]106-sunday came . "[0-i] [I]0-i shall not go to [church]4207-church this afternoon . [You]2991-you know the way , of course ; and [I]0-i can trust [you]2991-you to go steadily by [yourselves]2991-you . " When [they]2995-they came to kiss [her]81-ruth before leaving [her]81-ruth , according to [their]2995-they fond wo nt , [they]2995-they were struck by the coldness of [her]81-ruth face and lips . "[0-i] Are [you]2991-you not well , [dear Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ? How cold [you]2991-you are ! " "[4344-darling] Yes , [darling]4344-darling ! [I]0-i am well ; " and tears sprang into [her]81-ruth eyes as [she]81-ruth looked at [their]2995-they anxious little faces . "[0-i] Go now , [dears]2894-dears . Five o'clock will soon be [here]4172-here , and then [we]3001-we will have tea . " "[0-i] And that will warm [you]2991-you ! " said [they]2995-they , leaving [the room]357-the room . "[0-i] And then it will be over , " [she]81-ruth murmured--"over[0-i] . " It never came into [her]81-ruth head to watch [the girls]414-the girls as [they]414-the girls disappeared down [the lane]4125-the lane on [their]414-the girls way to [church]4207-church . [She]81-ruth knew [them]414-the girls too well to distrust [their]414-the girls doing what [they]414-the girls were told . [She]81-ruth sat still , [her]81-ruth head bowed on [her]81-ruth arms for a few minutes , and then rose up and went to put on [her]81-ruth walking things . Some thoughts impelled [her]81-ruth to sudden haste . [She]81-ruth crossed [the field]741-the field by the side of [the house]426-the house , ran down [the steep and rocky path]5784-the steep and rocky path , and was carried by the impetus of [her]81-ruth descent far out on [the level sands]5785-the level sands -- but not far enough for [her]81-ruth intent . Without looking to the right hand or to the left , where [comers]5786-comers might be seen , [she]81-ruth went forwards to the black posts , which , rising above [the heaving waters]5787-the heaving waters , marked where [the fishermen]5788-the fishermen 's nets were laid . [She]81-ruth went straight towards [this place]1323-this place , and hardly stinted [her]81-ruth pace even where [the wet sands]5790-the wet sands were glittering with the receding waves . Once there , [she]81-ruth turned round , and in a darting glance , saw that as yet [no one]517-no one was near . [She]81-ruth was perhaps half - a - mile or more from [the grey , silvery rocks]5792-the grey , silvery rocks , which sloped away into [brown moorland]5793-brown moorland , interspersed with [a field here and there of golden , waving corn]5794-a field here and there of golden , waving corn . Behind were [purple hills , with sharp , clear outlines , touching the sky]5795-purple hills , with sharp , clear outlines , touching the sky . A little on one side from where [she]81-ruth stood , [she]81-ruth saw [the white cottages and houses which formed [the village of Abermouth]5797-the village of abermouth]5796-the white cottages and houses which formed the village of abermouth , scattered up and down , and , on [a windy hill]5798-a windy hill , about a mile inland , [she]81-ruth saw [the little grey church]5799-the little grey church , where even now [many were worshipping in peace]5800-many were worshipping in peace . "[0-i] Pray for [me]0-i ! " [she]81-ruth sighed out , as this object caught [her]81-ruth eye . And now , close under [the heathery fields]5801-the heathery fields , where they fell softly down and touched [the sands]2867-the sands , [she]81-ruth saw a figure moving in the direction of the great shadow made by [the rocks]5537-the rocks -- going towards the very point where [the path from [Eagle]229-eagle 's Crag]5804-the path from eagle 's crag came down to [the shore]5805-the shore . "[3002-he] It is [he]3002-he ! " said [she]81-ruth to [herself]81-ruth . And [she]81-ruth turned round and looked seaward . The tide had turned ; the waves were slowly receding , as if loath to lose the hold [they]5806-they had , so lately , and with such swift bounds , gained on [the yellow sands]5807-the yellow sands . The eternal moan [they]5806-they have made since [the world]506-the world began filled the ear , broken only by the skirl of the grey sea - birds as [they]5806-they alighted in groups on the edge of [the waters]5809-the waters , or as [they]5806-they rose up with [their]5806-they measured , balancing motion , and the sunlight caught [their]5806-they white breasts . There was no sign of human life to be seen ; [no boat]5810-no boat , or distant sail , or near shrimper . [The black posts]5811-the black posts there were all that spoke of [men]836-men 's work or labour . Beyond a stretch of [the waters]5809-the waters , [a few pale grey hills]5814-a few pale grey hills showed like films ; [their]5814-a few pale grey hills summits clear , though faint , [their]5814-a few pale grey hills bases lost in a vapoury mist . On [the hard , echoing sands]5815-the hard , echoing sands , and distinct from the ceaseless murmur of the salt sea waves , came footsteps -- nearer -- nearer . Very near [they]5806-they were when [Ruth]81-ruth , unwilling to show the fear that rioted in [her]81-ruth heart , turned round , and faced [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . [He]0-i came forward , with both hands extended . "[3002-he] This is kind ! [my]0-i own [Ruth]81-ruth , " said [he]0-i . [Ruth]81-ruth 's arms hung down motionless at [her]81-ruth sides . "[81-ruth] What ! [Ruth]81-ruth , have [you]81-ruth no word for [me]0-i ? " "[81-ruth] [I]0-i have nothing to say , " said [Ruth]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] Why , [[you]81-ruth little revengeful creature]3003-you little revengeful creature ! And so [I]0-i am to explain all before [you]81-ruth will even treat [me]0-i with decent civility . " "[0-i] [I]0-i do not want explanations , " said [Ruth]81-ruth , in a trembling tone . "[3004-we] [We]3004-we must not speak of the past . [You]81-ruth asked [me]0-i to come in [Leonard's]235-leonard's -- in [[my]0-i child]5259-my child 's name , and to hear what [you]81-ruth had to say about [him]235-leonard's . " "[81-ruth] But what [I]0-i have to say about [him]235-leonard's relates to [you]81-ruth even more . And how can [we]3004-we talk about [him]235-leonard's without recurring to the past ? That past , which [you]81-ruth try to ignore -- [I]0-i know [you]81-ruth can not do it in [your]81-ruth heart -- is full of happy recollections to [me]0-i . Were [you]81-ruth not happy in [Wales]22-wales ? " [he]0-i said , in [his]0-i tenderest tone . But there was no answer ; not even one faint sigh , though [he]0-i listened intently . "[81-ruth] [You]81-ruth dare not speak ; [you]81-ruth dare not answer [me]0-i . [Your]81-ruth heart will not allow [you]81-ruth to prevaricate , and [you]81-ruth know [you]81-ruth were happy . " Suddenly [Ruth]81-ruth 's beautiful eyes were raised to [him]0-i , full of lucid splendour , but grave and serious in [their]5816-their expression ; and [her]81-ruth cheeks , heretofore so faintly tinged with the tenderest blush , flashed into a ruddy glow . "[0-i] [I]0-i was happy . [I]0-i do not deny it . Whatever comes , [I]0-i will not blench from the truth . [I]0-i have answered [you]0-i . " "[0-i] And yet , " replied [he]0-i , secretly exulting in [her]81-ruth admission , and not perceiving the inner strength of which [she]81-ruth must have been conscious before [she]81-ruth would have dared to make it--"and[81-ruth] yet , [Ruth]81-ruth , [we]3006-we are not to recur to the past ! Why not ? If it was happy at the time , is the recollection of it so miserable to [you]81-ruth ? " [He]0-i tried once more to take [her]81-ruth hand , but [she]81-ruth quietly stepped back . "[0-i] [I]0-i came to hear what [you]0-i had to say about [[my]0-i child]5259-my child , " said [she]81-ruth , beginning to feel very weary . "[0-i] _ [[Our]3006-we _ child]3008-our _ child , [Ruth]81-ruth . " [She]81-ruth drew [herself]81-ruth up , and [her]81-ruth face went very pale . "[0-i] What have [you]0-i to say about [him]5259-my child ? " asked [she]81-ruth , coldly . "[0-i] Much , " exclaimed he--"much[0-i] that may affect [his]5259-my child whole life . But it all depends upon whether [you]81-ruth will hear [me]0-i or not . " "[81-ruth] [I]0-i listen . " "[81-ruth] [Good Heavens]236-good heavens ! [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth will drive [me]0-i mad . Oh ! what [a changed person]3009-a changed person [you]81-ruth are from the sweet , loving creature [you]81-ruth were ! [I]0-i wish [you]81-ruth were not so beautiful . " [She]81-ruth did not reply , but [he]0-i caught a deep , involuntary sigh . "[0-i] Will [you]81-ruth hear [me]0-i if [I]0-i speak , though [I]0-i may not begin all at once to talk of [this boy]3010-this boy -- [a boy of whom [any mother]3012-any mother]3011-a boy of whom any mother -- [any parent]3013-any parent , might be proud ? [I]0-i could see that , [Ruth]81-ruth . [I]0-i have seen [him]3010-this boy ; [he]3010-this boy looked like a prince in [that cramped , miserable house]3014-that cramped , miserable house , and with no earthly advantages . It is a shame [he]3010-this boy should not have every kind of opportunity laid open before [him]3010-this boy . " There was no sign of maternal ambition on the motionless face , though there might be some little spring in [her]81-ruth heart , as it beat quick and strong at the idea of the proposal [she]81-ruth imagined [he]0-i was going to make of taking [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy away to give [him]3010-this boy the careful education [she]81-ruth had often craved for [him]3010-this boy . [She]81-ruth should refuse it , as [she]81-ruth would everything else which seemed to imply that [she]81-ruth acknowledged a claim over [Leonard]104-leonard ; but yet sometimes , for [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy 's sake , [she]81-ruth had longed for a larger opening -- a more extended sphere . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth ! [you]81-ruth acknowledge [we]3015-we were happy once;--there were circumstances which , if [I]0-i could tell [you]81-ruth them all in detail , would show [you]81-ruth how in [my]0-i weak , convalescent state [I]0-i was almost passive in the hands of [others]368-others . Ah , [Ruth]81-ruth ! [I]0-i have not forgotten [the tender nurse who soothed [me]0-i in [my]0-i delirium]3017-the tender nurse who soothed me in my delirium . When [I]0-i am feverish , [I]0-i dream that [I]0-i am again at [Llan - dhu]31-llan - dhu , in [the little old bed - chamber]3018-the little old bed - chamber , and [you]81-ruth , in white -- which [you]81-ruth always wore then , [you]81-ruth know -- flitting about [me]0-i . " The tears dropped , large and round , from [Ruth]81-ruth 's eyes -- [she]81-ruth could not help it -- how could [she]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] [We]3019-we were happy then , " continued [he]0-i , gaining confidence from the sight of [her]81-ruth melted mood , and recurring once more to the admission which [he]0-i considered so much in [his]0-i favour . "[3019-we] Can such happiness never return ? " Thus [he]0-i went on , quickly , anxious to lay before [her]81-ruth all [he]0-i had to offer , before [she]81-ruth should fully understand [his]0-i meaning . "[3019-we] If [you]81-ruth would consent , [Leonard]104-leonard should be always with [you]81-ruth -- educated where and how [you]81-ruth liked -- money to any amount [you]81-ruth might choose to name should be secured to [you]81-ruth and [him]104-leonard -- if only , [Ruth]81-ruth -- if only those happy days might return . " [Ruth]81-ruth spoke . "[0-i] [I]0-i said that [I]0-i was happy , because [I]0-i had asked [God]104-leonard to protect and help [me]0-i -- and [I]0-i dared not tell a lie . [I]0-i was happy . Oh ! what is happiness or misery that [we]3020-we should talk about [them]3021-them now ? " [Mr Donne]225-mr donne looked at [her]81-ruth , as [she]81-ruth uttered these words , to see if [she]81-ruth was wandering in [her]81-ruth mind , they seemed to [him]225-mr donne so utterly strange and incoherent . "[0-i] [I]0-i dare not think of happiness -- [I]0-i must not look forward to sorrow . [God]104-leonard did not put [me]0-i here to consider either of these things . " "[104-leonard] [[My]0-i dear]4145-my dear [Ruth]81-ruth , compose [yourself]81-ruth ! There is no hurry in answering the question [I]0-i asked . " "[0-i] What was it ? " said [Ruth]81-ruth . "[0-i] [I]0-i love [you]0-i so , [I]0-i can not live without [you]0-i . [I]0-i offer [you]0-i [my]0-i heart , [my]0-i life -- [I]0-i offer to place [Leonard]104-leonard wherever [you]0-i would have [him]104-leonard placed . [I]0-i have the power and the means to advance [him]104-leonard in any path of life [you]0-i choose . [All who have shown kindness to [you]0-i]3023-all who have shown kindness to you shall be rewarded by [me]0-i , with a gratitude even surpassing [your]0-i own . If there is anything else [I]0-i can do that [you]0-i can suggest , [I]0-i will do it . " "[0-i] Listen to [me]0-i ! " said [Ruth]81-ruth , now that the idea of what [he]0-i proposed had entered [her]81-ruth mind . "[0-i] When [I]0-i said that [I]0-i was happy with [you]0-i long ago , [I]0-i was choked with shame as [I]0-i said it . And yet it may be a vain , false excuse that [I]0-i make for [myself]0-i . [I]0-i was very young ; [I]0-i did not know how such a life was against [God]104-leonard 's pure and holy will -- at least , not as [I]0-i know it now ; and [I]0-i tell [you]0-i truth -- all the days of [my]0-i years since [I]0-i have gone about with a stain on [my]0-i hidden soul -- a stain which made [me]0-i loathe [myself]0-i , and envy those who stood spotless and undefiled ; which made [me]0-i shrink from [[my]0-i child]5259-my child -- from [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , from [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , from [the innocent girls whom [I]0-i teach]3026-the innocent girls whom i teach -- nay , even [I]0-i have cowered away from [God]104-leonard [Himself]104-leonard ; and what [I]0-i did wrong then , [I]0-i did blindly to what [I]0-i should do now if [I]0-i listened to [you]3027-she . " [She]3027-she was so strongly agitated that [she]3027-she put [her]3027-she hands over [her]3027-she face , and sobbed without restraint . Then , taking them away , [she]3027-she looked at [him]3027-she with a glowing face , and beautiful , honest , wet eyes , and tried to speak calmly , as [she]3027-she asked if [she]3027-she needed to stay longer ( [she]3027-she would have gone away at once but that [she]3027-she thought of [Leonard]104-leonard , and wished to hear all that [[his]3027-she father]658-his father might have to say ) . [He]3027-she was so struck anew by [her]3027-she beauty , and understood [her]3027-she so little , that [he]3027-she believed that [she]3027-she only required a little more urging to consent to what [he]3027-she wished ; for in all [she]3027-she had said there was no trace of the anger and resentment for [his]3027-she desertion of [her]3027-she , which [he]3027-she had expected would be a prominent feature -- the greatest obstacle [he]3027-she had to encounter . The deep sense of penitence [she]3027-she expressed , [he]3027-she mistook for earthly shame ; which [he]3027-she imagined [he]3027-she could soon soothe away . "[3027-she] Yes , [I]0-i have much more to say . [I]0-i have not said half . [I]0-i can not tell [you]3028-you how fondly [I]0-i will -- how fondly [I]0-i do love [you]3028-you -- how [my]0-i life shall be spent in ministering to [your]3028-you wishes . Money , [I]0-i see -- [I]0-i know , [you]3028-you despise-- " "[94-mr bellingham] [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ! [I]0-i will not stay to hear [you]3028-you speak to [me]0-i so again . [I]0-i have been sinful , but it is not [you]3028-you who should-- " [She]81-ruth could not speak , [she]81-ruth was so choking with passionate sorrow . [He]94-mr bellingham wanted to calm [her]81-ruth , as [he]94-mr bellingham saw [her]81-ruth shaken with repressed sobs . [He]94-mr bellingham put [his]94-mr bellingham hand on [her]81-ruth arm . [She]81-ruth shook it off impatiently , and moved away in an instant . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth ! " said [he]94-mr bellingham , nettled by [her]81-ruth action of repugnance , "[81-ruth] [I]0-i begin to think [you]81-ruth never loved [me]0-i . " "[0-i] [I!--I]0-i never loved [you]3028-you ! Do [you]3028-you dare to say so ? " [Her]81-ruth eyes flamed on [him]94-mr bellingham as [she]81-ruth spoke . [Her]81-ruth red , round lip curled into beautiful contempt . "[3028-you] Why do [you]81-ruth shrink so from [me]0-i ? " said [he]94-mr bellingham , in [his]94-mr bellingham turn getting impatient . "[81-ruth] [I]0-i did not come here to be spoken to in this way , " said [she]81-ruth . "[0-i] [I]0-i came , if by any chance [I]0-i could do [Leonard]104-leonard good . [I]0-i would submit to many humiliations for [his]104-leonard sake -- but to no more from [you]3028-you . " "[3028-you] Are not [you]81-ruth afraid to brave [me]0-i so ? " said [he]94-mr bellingham . "[81-ruth] Do n't [you]81-ruth know how much [you]81-ruth are in [my]0-i power ? " [She]81-ruth was silent . [She]81-ruth longed to go away , but dreaded lest [he]94-mr bellingham should follow [her]81-ruth , where [she]81-ruth might be less subject to interruption than [she]81-ruth was here -- near [the fisherman]5820-the fisherman 's nets , which the receding tide was leaving every moment barer and more bare , and the posts [they]5820-the fisherman were fastened to more blackly uprising above [the waters]5809-the waters . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne put [his]0-i hands on [her]81-ruth arms as they hung down before [her]81-ruth -- [her]81-ruth hands tightly clasped together . "[81-ruth] Ask [me]0-i to let [you]81-ruth go , " said [he]0-i . "[0-i] [I]0-i will , if [you]81-ruth will ask [me]0-i . " [He]0-i looked very fierce and passionate and determined . The vehemence of [his]0-i action took [Ruth]81-ruth by surprise , and the painful tightness of the grasp almost made [her]81-ruth exclaim . But [she]81-ruth was quite still and mute . "[0-i] Ask [me]0-i , " said [he]0-i , giving [her]81-ruth a little shake . [She]81-ruth did not speak . [Her]81-ruth eyes , fixed on [the distant shore]5822-the distant shore , were slowly filling with tears . Suddenly a light came through the mist that obscured them , and the shut lips parted . [She]81-ruth saw some distant object that gave [her]81-ruth hope . "[0-i] It is [Stephen Bromley]237-stephen bromley , " said [she]81-ruth . "[237-stephen bromley] [He]237-stephen bromley is coming to [[his]237-stephen bromley nets]3029-his nets . [They]3029-his nets say [he]237-stephen bromley is [a very desperate , violent man]3030-a very desperate , violent man , but [he]237-stephen bromley will protect [me]0-i . " "[237-stephen bromley] [You]0-i obstinate , wilful creature ! " said [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , releasing [his]225-mr donne grasp . "[0-i] [You]0-i forget that one word of [mine]3031-mine could undeceive [all these good people at [Eccleston]36-eccleston]3032-all these good people at eccleston ; and that if [I]0-i spoke out ever so little , [they]3032-all these good people at eccleston would throw [you]0-i off in an instant . Now ! " [he]0-i continued , "[0-i] do [you]0-i understand how much [you]0-i are in [my]0-i power ? " "[0-i] [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson know all -- [they]3032-all these good people at eccleston have not thrown [me]0-i off , " [Ruth]81-ruth gasped out . "[3032-all these good people at eccleston] Oh ! for [Leonard]104-leonard 's sake ! [you]0-i would not be so cruel . " "[0-i] Then do not [you]0-i be cruel to [him]104-leonard -- to [me]0-i . Think once more ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i think once more ; " [she]81-ruth spoke solemnly . "[0-i] To save [Leonard]104-leonard from the shame and agony of knowing [my]0-i disgrace , [I]0-i would lie down and die . Oh ! perhaps it would be best for [him]104-leonard -- for [me]0-i , if [I]0-i might ; [my]0-i death would be a stingless grief -- but to go back into sin would be the real cruelty to [him]104-leonard . The errors of [my]0-i youth may be washed away by [my]0-i tears -- it was so once when [the gentle , blessed Christ]3033-the gentle , blessed christ was upon [earth]2018-earth ; but now , if [I]0-i went into wilful guilt , as [you]3035-you would have [me]0-i , how could [I]0-i teach [Leonard God]104-leonard 's holy will ? [I]0-i should not mind [his]104-leonard knowing [my]0-i past sin , compared to the awful corruption it would be if [he]104-leonard knew [me]0-i living now , as [you]3035-you would have [me]0-i , lost to all fear of [God--]238-god-- " [Her]3035-you speech was broken by sobs . "[238-god--] Whatever may be [my]0-i doom -- [God]104-leonard is just -- [I]0-i leave [myself]0-i in [His]104-leonard hands . [I]0-i will save [Leonard]104-leonard from evil . Evil would it be for [him]104-leonard if [I]0-i lived with [you]3035-you . [I]0-i will let [him]104-leonard die first ! " [She]3035-you lifted [her]3035-you eyes to heaven , and clasped and wreathed [her]3035-you hands together tight . Then [she]3035-you said : "[0-i] [You]3035-you have humbled [me]0-i enough , [sir]4181-sir . [I]0-i shall leave [you]4181-sir now . " [She]3035-you turned away resolutely . [The dark , grey fisherman]5823-the dark , grey fisherman was at hand . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne folded [his]225-mr donne arms , and set [his]225-mr donne teeth , and looked after [her]3037-her . "[4181-sir] What a stately step [she]3037-her has ! How majestic and graceful all [her]3037-her attitudes were ! [She]3037-her thinks [she]3037-her has baffled [me]0-i now . [We]3038-we will try something more , and bid a higher price . " [He]225-mr donne unfolded [his]225-mr donne arms , and began to follow [her]3037-her . [He]225-mr donne gained upon [her]3037-her , for [her]3037-her beautiful walk was now wavering and unsteady . The works which had kept [her]3037-her in motion were running down fast . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth ! " said [he]225-mr donne , overtaking [her]3037-her . "[81-ruth] [You]81-ruth shall hear [me]0-i once more . Aye , look round ! [[Your]81-ruth fisherman]3039-your fisherman is near . [He]3039-your fisherman may hear [me]0-i , if [he]3039-your fisherman chooses -- hear [your]81-ruth triumph . [I]0-i am come to offer to marry [you]81-ruth , [Ruth]81-ruth ; come what may , [I]0-i will have [you]81-ruth . Nay -- [I]0-i will make [you]81-ruth hear [me]0-i . [I]0-i will hold this hand till [you]81-ruth have heard [me]0-i . To - morrow [I]0-i will speak to [any one in [Eccleston]36-eccleston [you]81-ruth like]3040-any one in eccleston you like -- to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ; [Mr ----]3041-mr ---- , [the little minister]2770-the little minister , [I]0-i mean . [We]3043-we can make it worth while for [him]2770-the little minister to keep [our]3043-we secret , and [no one else]1707-no one else need know but what [you]81-ruth are really [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . [Leonard]104-leonard shall still bear this name , but in all things else [he]104-leonard shall be treated as [[my]0-i son]1320-my son . [He]104-leonard and [you]81-ruth would grace any situation . [I]0-i will take care the highest paths are open to [him]104-leonard ! " [He]2770-the little minister looked to see the lovely face brighten into sudden joy ; on the contrary , the head was still hung down with a heavy droop . "[0-i] [I]0-i can not , " said [she]81-ruth ; [her]81-ruth voice was very faint and low . "[0-i] It is sudden for [you]81-ruth , [[my]0-i dearest]4343-my dearest . But be calm . It will all be easily managed . Leave it to [me]0-i . " "[0-i] [I]0-i can not , " repeated [she]81-ruth , more distinct and clear , though still very low . "[0-i] Why ! what on earth makes [you]0-i say that ? " asked [he]0-i , in a mood to be irritated by any repetition of such words . "[0-i] [I]0-i do not love [you]81-ruth . [I]0-i did once . Do n't say [I]0-i did not love [you]81-ruth then ; but [I]0-i do not now . [I]0-i could never love [you]81-ruth again . All [you]81-ruth have said and done since [you]81-ruth came with [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw to [Abermouth]50-abermouth first , has only made [me]0-i wonder how [I]0-i ever could have loved [you]81-ruth . [We]3047-we are very far apart . The time that has pressed down [my]0-i life like brands of hot iron , and scarred [me]0-i for ever , has been nothing to [you]81-ruth . [You]81-ruth have talked of it with no sound of moaning in [your]81-ruth voice -- no shadow over the brightness of [your]81-ruth face ; it has left no sense of sin on [your]81-ruth conscience , while [me]0-i it haunts and haunts ; and yet [I]0-i might plead that [I]0-i was [an ignorant child]3048-an ignorant child -- only [I]0-i will not plead anything , for [God]104-leonard knows all-- But this is only one piece of [our]3047-we great difference-- " "[81-ruth] [You]81-ruth mean that [I]0-i am [no saint]3049-no saint , " [he]0-i said , impatient at [her]81-ruth speech . "[81-ruth] Granted . But [people who are no saints]3050-people who are no saints have made [very good husbands]3051-very good husbands before now . Come , do n't let any morbid , overstrained conscientiousness interfere with substantial happiness -- happiness both to [you]81-ruth and to [me]0-i -- for [I]0-i am sure [I]0-i can make [you]81-ruth happy -- aye ! and make [you]81-ruth love [me]0-i , too , in spite of [your]81-ruth pretty defiance . [I]0-i love [you]81-ruth so dearly [I]0-i must win love back . And here are advantages for [Leonard]104-leonard , to be gained by [you]81-ruth quite in a holy and legitimate way . " [She]81-ruth stood very erect . "[81-ruth] If there was one thing needed to confirm [me]0-i , [you]81-ruth have named it . [You]81-ruth shall have nothing to do with [[my]0-i boy]3052-my boy , by [my]0-i consent , much less by [[my]0-i agency]3053-my agency . [I]0-i would rather see [him]3052-my boy working on [the roadside]3054-the roadside than leading such a life -- being such a one as [you]81-ruth are . [You]81-ruth have heard [my]0-i mind now , [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham . [You]81-ruth have humbled [me]0-i -- [you]81-ruth have baited [me]0-i ; and if at last [I]0-i have spoken out too harshly , and too much in a spirit of judgment , the fault is [yours]81-ruth . If there were no other reason to prevent [our]3055-our marriage but the one fact that it would bring [Leonard]104-leonard into contact with [you]81-ruth , that would be enough . " "[81-ruth] It is enough ! " said [he]0-i , making [her]81-ruth a low bow . "[81-ruth] Neither [you]81-ruth nor [[your]81-ruth child]4796-your child shall ever more be annoyed by [me]0-i . [I]0-i wish [you]81-ruth a good evening . " [They]3055-our walked apart -- [he]0-i back to [the inn]1055-the inn , to set off instantly , while the blood was hot within [him]0-i , from [the place where [he]0-i had been so mortified]5825-the place where he had been so mortified -- [she]81-ruth to steady [herself]81-ruth along till [she]81-ruth reached [the little path]5826-the little path , more like [a rude staircase]5827-a rude staircase than anything else , by which [she]81-ruth had to climb to [the house]426-the house . [She]81-ruth did not turn round for some time after [she]81-ruth was fairly lost to the sight of [any one on [the shore]5805-the shore]5829-any one on the shore ; [she]81-ruth clambered on , almost stunned by the rapid beating of [her]81-ruth heart . [Her]81-ruth eyes were hot and dry ; and at last became as if [she]81-ruth were suddenly blind . Unable to go on , [she]81-ruth tottered into the tangled underwood which grew among the stones , filling every niche and crevice , and little shelving space , with green and delicate tracery . [She]81-ruth sank down behind a great overhanging rock , which hid [her]81-ruth from any one coming up [the path]806-the path . An ash - tree was rooted in this rock , slanting away from the sea - breezes that were prevalent in most weathers ; but this was a still , autumnal Sabbath evening . As [Ruth]81-ruth 's limbs fell , so they lay . [She]81-ruth had no strength , no power of volition to move a finger . [She]81-ruth could not think or remember . [She]81-ruth was literally stunned . The first sharp sensation which roused [her]81-ruth from [her]81-ruth torpor was a quick desire to see [him]5832-him once more ; up [she]81-ruth sprang , and climbed to an out - jutting [dizzy point of rock]5833-dizzy point of rock , but a little above [[her]81-ruth sheltered nook]5834-her sheltered nook , yet commanding a wide view over [the bare , naked sands;--far]5835-the bare , naked sands;--far away below , touching the rippling water - line , was [Stephen Bromley]237-stephen bromley , busily gathering in [his]237-stephen bromley nets ; besides [him]237-stephen bromley there was [no living creature]5836-no living creature visible . [Ruth]81-ruth shaded [her]81-ruth eyes , as if [she]81-ruth thought [they]5837-they might have deceived [her]81-ruth ; but no , there was [no one there]4419-no one there . [She]81-ruth went slowly down to [[her]81-ruth old place]5839-her old place , crying sadly as [she]81-ruth went . "[0-i] Oh ! if [I]0-i had not spoken so angrily to [him]3057-him -- the last things [I]0-i said were so bitter -- so reproachful!--and [I]0-i shall never , never see [him]3057-him again ! " [She]81-ruth could not take in the general view and scope of [their]5840-their conversation -- the event was too near [her]81-ruth for that ; but [her]81-ruth heart felt sore at the echo of [her]81-ruth last words , just and true as their severity was . [Her]81-ruth struggle , [her]81-ruth constant flowing tears , which fell from very weakness , made [her]81-ruth experience a sensation of intense bodily fatigue ; and [her]81-ruth soul had lost the power of throwing itself forward , or contemplating anything beyond the dreary present , when [the expanse of grey , wild , bleak moors]5841-the expanse of grey , wild , bleak moors , stretching wide away below a sunless sky , seemed only an outward sign of the waste world within [her]81-ruth heart , for which [she]81-ruth could claim no sympathy;--for [she]81-ruth could not even define what its woes were ; and if [she]81-ruth could , [no one]517-no one would understand how the present time was haunted by the terrible ghost of [the former love]5843-the former love . "[0-i] [I]0-i am so weary ! [I]0-i am so weary ! " [she]81-ruth moaned aloud at last . "[0-i] [I]0-i wonder if [I]0-i might stop here , and just die away . " [She]81-ruth shut [her]81-ruth eyes , until through the closed lids came a ruddy blaze of light . The clouds had parted away , and the sun was going down in a crimson glory behind [the distant purple hills]5844-the distant purple hills . The whole western sky was one flame of fire . [Ruth]81-ruth forgot [herself]81-ruth in looking at the gorgeous sight . [She]81-ruth sat up gazing , and , as [she]81-ruth gazed , the tears dried on [her]81-ruth cheeks ; and , somehow , all human care and sorrow were swallowed up in the unconscious sense of [God]104-leonard 's infinity . The sunset calmed [her]81-ruth more than any words , however wise and tender , could have done . It even seemed to give [her]81-ruth strength and courage ; [she]81-ruth did not know how or why , but so it was . [She]81-ruth rose , and went slowly towards [home]4124-home . [Her]81-ruth limbs were very stiff , and every now and then [she]81-ruth had to choke down an unbidden sob . [[Her]81-ruth pupils]2406-her pupils had been long returned from [church]4207-church , and had busied [themselves]2406-her pupils in preparing tea -- an occupation which had probably made [them]2406-her pupils feel the time less long . If [they]2406-her pupils had ever seen [a sleep - walker]5848-a sleep - walker , [they]2406-her pupils might have likened [Ruth]81-ruth to one for the next few days , so slow and measured did [her]81-ruth movements seem -- so far away was [her]81-ruth intelligence from all that was passing around [her]81-ruth -- so hushed and strange were the tones of [her]81-ruth voice . [They]2406-her pupils had letters from [home]4124-home announcing the triumphant return of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne as M.P. for [Eccleston]36-eccleston . [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh heard the news without a word , and was too languid to join in the search after purple and yellow flowers with which to deck [the sitting - room at [Eagle 's Crag]57-the eagle 's crag pew]5850-the sitting - room at eagle 's crag . A letter from [Jemima]217-jemima came the next day , summoning [them]2406-her pupils [home]4124-home . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne and [[his]225-mr donne friends]4517-his friends had left [the place]444-the place , and quiet was restored in [the Bradshaw household]2831-the bradshaw household ; so it was time that [Mary]118-mary 's and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth 's holiday should cease . [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh had also a letter -- a letter from [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , saying that [Leonard]104-leonard was not quite well . There was so much pains taken to disguise anxiety , that it was very evident much anxiety was felt ; and [the girls]414-the girls were almost alarmed by [Ruth]81-ruth 's sudden change from taciturn langour to eager , vehement energy . Body and mind seemed strained to exertion . Every plan that could facilitate packing and winding - up affairs at [Abermouth]50-abermouth , every errand and arrangement that could expedite [their]414-the girls departure by one minute , was done by [Ruth]81-ruth with stern promptitude . [She]81-ruth spared [herself]81-ruth in nothing . [She]81-ruth made [them]414-the girls rest , made [them]414-the girls lie down , while [she]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth lifted weights and transacted business with feverish power , never resting , and trying never to have time to think . For in remembrance of the Past there was [Remorse,--how]239-remorse,--how had [she]81-ruth forgotten [Leonard]104-leonard these last few days!--how had [she]81-ruth repined and been dull of heart to [her]81-ruth blessing ! And in anticipation of the Future there was one sharp point of red light in the darkness which pierced [her]81-ruth brain with agony , and which [she]81-ruth would not see or recognise -- and saw and recognised all the more for such mad determination -- which is not the true shield against the bitterness of the arrows of Death . When [the seaside party]5856-the seaside party arrived in [Eccleston]36-eccleston , [they]5856-the seaside party were met by [Mrs and Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . By a firm resolution , [Ruth]81-ruth kept from shaping the question , "[0-i] Is [he]3058-he alive ? " as if by giving shape to [her]81-ruth fears [she]81-ruth made [their]5856-the seaside party realisation more imminent . [She]81-ruth said merely , "[3058-he] How is [he]3058-he ? " but [she]81-ruth said it with drawn , tight , bloodless lips , and in [her]81-ruth eyes [Mr Benson]143-mr benson read [her]81-ruth anguish of anxiety . "[3058-he] [He]3058-he is very ill , but [we]3059-we hope [he]3058-he will soon be better . It is what [every child]3060-every child has to go through . " CHAPTER XXV [Jemima]217-jemima Makes a Discovery [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had been successful in carrying [his]149-mr bradshaw point . [[His]149-mr bradshaw member]2825-his member had been returned ; [[his]149-mr bradshaw proud opponents]5858-his proud opponents mortified . So [the public]5859-the public thought [he]149-mr bradshaw ought to be well pleased ; but [the public]5859-the public were disappointed to see that [he]149-mr bradshaw did not show any of the gratification [they]5859-the public supposed [him]149-mr bradshaw to feel . The truth was , that [he]149-mr bradshaw had met with so many small mortifications during the progress of the election , that the pleasure which [he]149-mr bradshaw would otherwise have felt in the final success of [his]149-mr bradshaw scheme was much diminished . [He]149-mr bradshaw had more than tacitly sanctioned bribery ; and now that the excitement was over , [he]149-mr bradshaw regretted it ; not entirely from conscientious motives , though [he]149-mr bradshaw was uneasy from a slight sense of wrong - doing ; but [he]149-mr bradshaw was more pained , after all , to think that , in the eyes of [some of [[his]149-mr bradshaw townsmen]5862-his townsmen]5861-some of his townsmen , [his]149-mr bradshaw hitherto spotless character had received a blemish . [[He]149-mr bradshaw , who had been so stern and severe a censor on the undue influence exercised by [the opposite party in all preceding elections]5864-the opposite party in all preceding elections , could not expect to be spared by [[their]5861-some of his townsmen adherents]5865-their adherents now , when there were rumours that the hands of [the scrupulous Dissenters]5866-the scrupulous dissenters]5863-he , who had been so stern and severe a censor on the undue influence exercised by the opposite party in all preceding elections , could not expect to be spared by their adherents now , when there were rumours that the hands of the scrupulous dissenters were not clean . Before , it had been [his]149-mr bradshaw boast that [neither friend]5867-neither friend nor [enemy]5868-enemy could say one word against [him]149-mr bradshaw ; now , [he]149-mr bradshaw was constantly afraid of an indictment for bribery , and of being compelled to appear before [a Committee]5869-a committee to swear to [his]149-mr bradshaw own share in the business . [His]149-mr bradshaw uneasy , fearful consciousness made [him]149-mr bradshaw stricter and sterner than ever ; as if [he]149-mr bradshaw would quench all wondering , slanderous talk about [him]149-mr bradshaw in [the town]396-the town by a renewed austerity of uprightness ; that [the slack - principled Mr Bradshaw of one month of ferment and excitement]5871-the slack - principled mr bradshaw of one month of ferment and excitement might not be confounded with [the highly - conscientious and deeply - religious [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , who went to [chapel]1864-chapel twice a day , and gave a hundred pounds a - piece to every charity in [the town]396-the town]5872-the highly - conscientious and deeply - religious mr bradshaw , who went to chapel twice a day , and gave a hundred pounds a - piece to every charity in the town , as a sort of thank - offering that [his]149-mr bradshaw end was gained . But [he]149-mr bradshaw was secretly dissatisfied with [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . In general , [that gentleman]5711-that gentleman had been rather too willing to act in accordance with [any one]425-any one 's advice , no matter whose ; as if [he]149-mr bradshaw had thought it too much trouble to weigh the wisdom of [[his]149-mr bradshaw friends]4517-his friends , in which case [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's would have , doubtless , proved the most valuable . But now and then [he]149-mr bradshaw unexpectedly , and utterly without reason , took the conduct of affairs into [his]149-mr bradshaw own hands , as when [he]149-mr bradshaw had been absent without leave only just before the day of nomination . [No one]517-no one guessed whither [he]149-mr bradshaw had gone ; but the fact of [his]149-mr bradshaw being gone was enough to chagrin [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , who was quite ready to pick a quarrel on this very head , if the election had not terminated favourably . As it was , [he]149-mr bradshaw had a feeling of proprietorship in [Mr Donne]225-mr donne which was not disagreeable . [He]149-mr bradshaw had given [the new M.P.]5879-the new m.p. [his]149-mr bradshaw seat ; [his]149-mr bradshaw resolution , [his]149-mr bradshaw promptitude , [his]149-mr bradshaw energy , had made [Mr Donne]225-mr donne "[3062-our member] [[our]3061-our member]3062-our member ; " and [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw began to feel proud of [him]225-mr donne accordingly . But there had been [no one circumstance during this period]5880-no one circumstance during this period to bind [Jemima]217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar together . [They]5881-they were still misunderstanding [each other]579-each other with all [their]5881-they power . The difference in the result was this : [Jemima]217-jemima loved [him]149-mr bradshaw all the more , in spite of quarrels and coolness . [He]149-mr bradshaw was growing utterly weary of the petulant temper of which [he]149-mr bradshaw was never certain ; of the reception which varied day after day , according to the mood [she]217-jemima was in and the thoughts that were uppermost ; and [he]149-mr bradshaw was almost startled to find how very glad [he]149-mr bradshaw was that [the little girls]2551-the little girls and [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh were coming [home]4124-home . [His]149-mr bradshaw was [a character to bask in peace]5885-a character to bask in peace ; and lovely , quiet [Ruth]81-ruth , with [her]81-ruth low tones and quiet replies , [her]81-ruth delicate waving movements , appeared to [him]149-mr bradshaw the very type of what [a woman]834-a woman should be -- [a calm , serene soul , fashioning the body to angelic grace]5887-a calm , serene soul , fashioning the body to angelic grace . It was , therefore , with no slight interest that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar inquired daily after the health of [little Leonard]104-leonard . [He]149-mr bradshaw asked at [[the Bensons]5888-the bensons ' house]1786-the bensons ' house ; and [Sally]148-sally answered [him]149-mr bradshaw , with swollen and tearful eyes , that [the child]565-the child was very bad -- very bad indeed . [He]149-mr bradshaw asked at [the doctor]4191-the doctor 's ; and [the doctor]4191-the doctor told [him]149-mr bradshaw , in a few short words , that "[3062-our member] it was only a bad kind of measles , and that [the lad]4193-the lad might have a struggle for it , but [he]4193-the lad thought [he]4193-the lad would get through . [Vigorous children]3064-vigorous children carried [their]3064-vigorous children force into everything ; never did things by halves ; if [they]3064-vigorous children were ill , [they]3064-vigorous children were sure to be in a high fever directly ; if [they]3064-vigorous children were well , there was no peace in [the house]426-the house for [their]3064-vigorous children rioting . For [his]4193-the lad part , " continued [the doctor]4191-the doctor , "[4193-the lad] [he]4193-the lad thought [he]4193-the lad was glad [he]4193-the lad had had [no children]3066-no children ; as far as [he]4193-the lad could judge , [they]3066-no children were pretty much all plague and no profit . " But as [he]4193-the lad ended [his]4193-the lad speech [he]4193-the lad sighed ; and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was none the less convinced that common report was true , which represented [the clever , prosperous surgeon of [Eccleston]36-eccleston]5894-the clever , prosperous surgeon of eccleston as bitterly disappointed at [his]4193-the lad failure of offspring . While these various interests and feelings had [their]3066-no children course outside [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house , within there was but one thought which possessed all [the inmates]5896-the inmates . When [Sally]148-sally was not cooking for [the little invalid]5897-the little invalid , [she]148-sally was crying ; for [she]148-sally had had a dream about green rushes , not three months ago , which , by some queer process of oneiromancy [she]148-sally interpreted to mean the death of [a child]556-a child ; and all [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's endeavours were directed to making [her]148-sally keep silence to [Ruth]81-ruth about this dream . [Sally]148-sally thought that [the mother]618-the mother ought to be told ; what were dreams sent for but for warnings ? But it was just like [a pack of Dissenters]5900-a pack of dissenters , who would not believe anything like [other folks]4835-other folks . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was too much accustomed to [Sally]148-sally 's contempt for [Dissenters]5003-dissenters , as viewed from the pinnacle of [the Establishment]2948-the establishment , to pay much attention to all this grumbling ; especially as [Sally]148-sally was willing to take as much trouble about [Leonard]104-leonard as if [she]148-sally believed [he]104-leonard was going to live , and that [his]104-leonard recovery depended upon [her]148-sally care . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson 's great object was to keep [her]148-sally from having any confidential talks with [Ruth]81-ruth ; as if any repetition of the dream could have deepened the conviction in [Ruth]81-ruth 's mind that [the child]565-the child would die . It seemed to [her]148-sally that [his]104-leonard death would only be the fitting punishment for the state of indifference towards [him]104-leonard -- towards life and death -- towards all things earthly or divine , into which [she]148-sally had suffered [herself]148-sally to fall since [her]148-sally last interview with [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . [She]148-sally did not understand that such exhaustion is but the natural consequence of violent agitation and severe tension of feeling . The only relief [she]148-sally experienced was in constantly serving [Leonard]104-leonard ; [she]148-sally had almost an animal 's jealousy lest any one should come between [her]148-sally and [[her]148-sally young]2107-her young . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw this jealous suspicion , although [he]143-mr benson could hardly understand it ; but [he]143-mr benson calmed [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's wonder and officious kindness , so that [the two]1675-the two patiently and quietly provided all that [Ruth]81-ruth might want , but did not interfere with [her]81-ruth right to nurse [Leonard]104-leonard . But when [he]104-leonard was recovering , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , with the slight tone of authority [he]143-mr benson knew how to assume when need was , bade [Ruth]81-ruth lie down and take some rest , while [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister watched . [Ruth]81-ruth did not answer , but obeyed in a dull , weary kind of surprise at being so commanded . [She]81-ruth lay down by [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child , gazing [her]81-ruth fill at [his]104-leonard calm slumber ; and as [she]81-ruth gazed , [her]81-ruth large white eyelids were softly pressed down as with a gentle irresistible weight , and [she]81-ruth fell asleep . [She]81-ruth dreamed that [she]81-ruth was once more on [the lonely shore]5910-the lonely shore , striving to carry [Leonard]104-leonard away from [some pursuer]5911-some pursuer -- [some human pursuer]5912-some human pursuer -- [she]81-ruth knew [he]104-leonard was human , and [she]81-ruth knew who [he]104-leonard was , although [she]81-ruth dared not say [his]104-leonard name even to [herself]81-ruth , [he]104-leonard seemed so close and present , gaining on [her]81-ruth flying footsteps , rushing after [her]81-ruth as with the sound of the roaring tide . [Her]81-ruth feet seemed heavy weights fixed to the ground ; they would not move . All at once , just near [the shore]5805-the shore , a great black whirlwind of waves clutched [her]81-ruth back to [[her]81-ruth pursuer]5914-her pursuer ; [she]81-ruth threw [Leonard]104-leonard on to [land]5915-land , which was safety ; but whether [he]104-leonard reached it or no , or was swept back like [her]81-ruth into a mysterious something too dreadful to be borne , [she]81-ruth did not know , for the terror awakened [her]81-ruth . At first the dream seemed yet a reality , and [she]81-ruth thought that [the pursuer]5916-the pursuer was couched even there , in [that very room]5917-that very room , and the great boom of [the sea]549-the sea was still in [her]81-ruth ears . But as full consciousness returned , [she]81-ruth saw [herself]81-ruth safe in [the dear old room]5919-the dear old room -- [the haven of rest]5920-the haven of rest -- the shelter from storms . A bright fire was glowing in the little old - fashioned , cup - shaped grate , niched into a corner of the wall , and guarded on either side by whitewashed bricks , which rested on hobs . On one of these the kettle hummed and buzzed , within two points of boiling whenever [she]81-ruth or [Leonard]104-leonard required tea . In [her]81-ruth dream that [home]4124-home - like sound had been the roaring of [the relentless sea]5922-the relentless sea , creeping swiftly on to seize its prey . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson sat by the fire , motionless and still ; it was too dark to read any longer without a candle ; but yet on the ceiling and upper part of the walls the golden light of the setting sun was slowly moving -- so slow , and yet a motion gives the feeling of rest to the weary yet more than perfect stillness . The old clock on the staircase told its monotonous click - clack , in that soothing way which more marked the quiet of [the house]426-the house than disturbed with any sense of sound . [Leonard]104-leonard still slept that renovating slumber , almost in [her]81-ruth arms , far from [that fatal pursuing sea]5924-that fatal pursuing sea , with its human form of cruelty . The dream was a vision ; the reality which prompted the dream was over and past -- [Leonard]104-leonard was safe -- [she]81-ruth was safe ; all this loosened the frozen springs , and they gushed forth in [her]81-ruth heart , and [her]81-ruth lips moved in accordance with [her]81-ruth thoughts . "[3067-you] What were [you]3067-you saying , [[my]0-i darling]4347-my darling ? " said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson [, who caught sight of the motion]5925-, who caught sight of the motion , and fancied [she]3067-you was asking for something . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson bent over the side of the bed on which [Ruth]81-ruth lay , to catch the low tones of [her]3067-you voice . "[3067-you] [I]0-i only said , " replied [Ruth]81-ruth , timidly , "[3067-you] thank [God]104-leonard ! [I]0-i have so much to thank [Him]3069-him for , [you]104-leonard do n't know . " "[0-i] [[My]0-i dear]4145-my dear , [I]0-i am sure [we]3071-we have all of [us]3071-we cause to be thankful that [[our]3071-we boy]3072-our boy is spared . See ! [he]3069-him is wakening up ; and [we]3071-we will have a cup of tea together . " [Leonard]104-leonard strode on to perfect health ; but [he]104-leonard was made older in character and looks by [his]104-leonard severe illness . [He]104-leonard grew tall and thin , and [the lovely child]5926-the lovely child was lost in [the handsome boy]5927-the handsome boy . [He]104-leonard began to wonder , and to question . [Ruth]81-ruth mourned a little over the vanished babyhood , when [she]81-ruth was all in all , and over the childhood , whose petals had fallen away ; it seemed as though [two of [[her]81-ruth children]2362-her children]5928-two of her children were gone -- [the one]5930-the one [an infant]5931-an infant , [the other]380-the other [a bright , thoughtless darling]5933-a bright , thoughtless darling ; and [she]81-ruth wished that [they]5928-two of her children could have remained quick in [her]81-ruth memory for ever , instead of being absorbed in loving pride for [the present boy]5934-the present boy . But these were only fanciful regrets , flitting like shadows across a mirror . Peace and thankfulness were once more the atmosphere of [her]81-ruth mind ; nor was [her]81-ruth unconsciousness disturbed by any suspicion of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's increasing approbation and admiration , which [he]193-mr farquhar was diligently nursing up into love for [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth knew that [he]193-mr farquhar had sent -- [she]81-ruth did not know how often [he]193-mr farquhar had brought -- fruit for [the convalescent Leonard]104-leonard . [She]81-ruth heard , on [her]81-ruth return from [her]81-ruth daily employment , that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had brought a little gentle pony on which [Leonard]104-leonard , weak as [he]104-leonard was , might ride . To confess the truth , [her]81-ruth maternal pride was such that [she]81-ruth thought that all kindness shown to such [a boy]1510-a boy as [Leonard]104-leonard was but natural ; [she]81-ruth believed [him]1510-a boy to be [A child whom all that looked on , loved . As in truth]5936-a child whom all that looked on , loved . as in truth [he]1510-a boy was ; and the proof of this was daily shown in many kind inquiries , and many thoughtful little offerings , besides [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's . [The poor]497-the poor ( warm and kind of heart to all sorrow common to humanity ) were touched with pity for [the young widow , whose only child lay ill , and nigh unto death]5938-the young widow , whose only child lay ill , and nigh unto death . [They]497-the poor brought what [they]497-the poor could -- a fresh egg , when eggs were scarce -- a few ripe pears that grew on the sunniest side of [the humblest cottage , where the fruit was regarded as a source of income]5939-the humblest cottage , where the fruit was regarded as a source of income -- a call of inquiry , and a prayer that [God]104-leonard would spare [the child]565-the child , from [an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag [herself]5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house so far as [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house]5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house , yet felt [her]5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house worn and weary heart stirred with a sharp pang of sympathy , and a very present remembrance of the time when [she]5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house too was young , and saw the life - breath quiver out of [[her]5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house child]631-her child , now an angel in that heaven which felt more like home to [the desolate old creature than [this empty earth]5945-this empty earth]5944-the desolate old creature than this empty earth . To all such , when [Leonard]104-leonard was better , [Ruth]81-ruth went , and thanked [them]497-the poor from [her]81-ruth heart . [She]81-ruth and [the old cripple]5946-the old cripple sat hand in hand over the scanty fire on the hearth of [the latter]1745-the latter , while [she]81-ruth told in solemn , broken , homely words , how [[her]5941-an old crippled woman , who could scarcely drag herself so far as the chapel - house child]631-her child sickened and died . Tears fell like rain down [Ruth]81-ruth 's cheeks ; but those of [the old woman]4187-the old woman were dry . All tears had been wept out of [her]81-ruth long ago , and now [she]81-ruth sat patient and quiet , waiting for death . But after this , [Ruth]81-ruth "[3073-i] clave unto [her]3073-i , " and [the two]1675-the two were henceforward [a pair of friends]5951-a pair of friends . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was only included in the general gratitude which [she]81-ruth felt towards [all who had been kind to [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy]5952-all who had been kind to her boy . The winter passed away in deep peace after the storms of the autumn , yet every now and then a feeling of insecurity made [Ruth]81-ruth shake for an instant . Those wild autumnal storms had torn aside the quiet flowers and herbage that had gathered over the wreck of [her]81-ruth early life , and shown [her]81-ruth that all deeds , however hidden and long passed by , have their eternal consequences . [She]81-ruth turned sick and faint whenever [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's name was casually mentioned . [No one]517-no one saw it ; but [she]81-ruth felt the miserable stop in [her]81-ruth heart 's beating , and wished that [she]81-ruth could prevent it by any exercise of self - command . [She]81-ruth had never named [his]225-mr donne identity with [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , nor had [she]81-ruth spoken about the seaside interview . Deep shame made [her]81-ruth silent and reserved on all [her]81-ruth life before [Leonard]104-leonard 's birth ; from that time [she]81-ruth rose again in [her]81-ruth self - respect , and spoke as openly as [a child]556-a child ( when need was ) of all occurrences which had taken place since then ; except that [she]81-ruth could not , and would not , tell of this mocking echo , this haunting phantom , this past , that would not rest in its grave . The very circumstance that it was stalking abroad in [the world]506-the world , and might reappear at any moment , made [her]81-ruth a coward : [she]81-ruth trembled away from contemplating what the reality had been ; only [she]81-ruth clung more faithfully than before to the thought of [the great God]5957-the great god , who was a rock in [the dreary land]5958-the dreary land , where no shadow was . Autumn and winter , with [their]5959-their lowering skies , were less dreary than the woeful , desolate feelings that shed a gloom on [Jemima]217-jemima . [She]81-ruth found too late that [she]81-ruth had considered [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar so securely [her]81-ruth own for so long a time , that [her]81-ruth heart refused to recognise [him]193-mr farquhar as lost to [her]81-ruth , unless [her]81-ruth reason went through the same weary , convincing , miserable evidence day after day , and hour after hour . [He]193-mr farquhar never spoke to [her]81-ruth now , except from common civility . [He]193-mr farquhar never cared for [her]81-ruth contradictions ; [he]193-mr farquhar never tried , with patient perseverance , to bring [her]81-ruth over to [his]193-mr farquhar opinions ; [he]193-mr farquhar never used the wonted wiles ( so tenderly remembered now they had no existence but in memory ) to bring [her]81-ruth round out of some wilful mood -- and such moods were common enough now ! Frequently [she]81-ruth was sullenly indifferent to the feelings of [others]368-others -- not from any unkindness , but because [her]81-ruth heart seemed numb and stony , and incapable of sympathy . Then afterwards [her]81-ruth self - reproach was terrible -- in the dead of night , when [no one]517-no one saw it . With a strange perversity , the only intelligence [she]81-ruth cared to hear , the only sights [she]81-ruth cared to see , were the circumstances which gave confirmation to the idea that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was thinking of [Ruth]81-ruth for [a wife]5327-a wife . [She]81-ruth craved with stinging curiosity to hear something of [their]5963-their affairs every day ; partly because the torture which such intelligence gave was almost a relief from the deadness of [her]81-ruth heart to all other interests . And so spring ( _ gioventu dell'anno _ ) came back to [her]81-ruth , bringing all the contrasts which spring alone can bring to add to the heaviness of the soul . The little winged creatures filled the air with bursts of joy ; the vegetation came bright and hopefully onwards , without any check of nipping frost . The ash - trees in [[the Bradshaws]206-the bradshaws ' garden]5964-the bradshaws ' garden were out in leaf by the middle of May , which that year wore more the aspect of summer than most Junes do . The sunny weather mocked [Jemima]217-jemima , and the unusual warmth oppressed [her]217-jemima physical powers . [She]81-ruth felt very weak and languid ; [she]81-ruth was acutely sensible that [no one else]1707-no one else noticed [her]81-ruth want of strength ; [father]4711-father , [mother]4127-mother , all seemed too full of other things to care if , as [she]81-ruth believed , [her]81-ruth life was waning . [She]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth felt glad that it was so . But [her]81-ruth delicacy was not unnoticed by all . [[Her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother often anxiously asked [[her]710-her mother husband]730-her husband if [he]730-her husband did not think [Jemima]217-jemima was looking ill ; nor did [his]730-her husband affirmation to the contrary satisfy [her]710-her mother , as most of [his]730-her husband affirmations did . [She]710-her mother thought every morning , before [she]710-her mother got up , how [she]710-her mother could tempt [Jemima]217-jemima to eat , by ordering some favourite dainty for dinner ; in many other little ways [she]710-her mother tried to minister to [[her]710-her mother child]631-her child ; but [the poor girl]1183-the poor girl 's own abrupt irritability of temper had made [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother afraid of openly speaking to [her]81-ruth about [her]81-ruth health . [Ruth]81-ruth , too , saw that [Jemima]217-jemima was not looking well . How [she]81-ruth had become an object of dislike to [[her]81-ruth former friend]5973-her former friend [she]81-ruth did not know ; but [she]81-ruth was sensible that [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw disliked [her]81-ruth now . [She]81-ruth was not aware that this feeling was growing and strengthening almost into repugnance , for [she]81-ruth seldom saw [Jemima]217-jemima out of school - hours , and then only for a minute or two . But the evil element of [a fellow - creature]5974-a fellow - creature 's dislike oppressed the atmosphere of [her]81-ruth life . [That fellow - creature]5975-that fellow - creature was one who had once loved [her]81-ruth so fondly , and whom [she]81-ruth still loved , although [she]81-ruth had learnt to fear [her]81-ruth , as [we]5976-we fear [those whose faces cloud over when we come in sight -- who cast unloving glances at us , of which we , though not seeing , are conscious , as of some occult influence]5977-those whose faces cloud over when we come in sight -- who cast unloving glances at us , of which we , though not seeing , are conscious , as of some occult influence ; and the cause of whose dislike is unknown to [us]5976-we , though every word and action seems to increase it . [I]3073-i believe that this sort of dislike is only shown by the jealous , and that it renders [the disliker]5978-the disliker even more miserable , because more continually conscious than the object ; but the growing evidence of [Jemima]217-jemima 's feeling made [Ruth]81-ruth very unhappy at times . This very May , too , an idea had come into [her]81-ruth mind , which [she]81-ruth had tried to repress -- namely , that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was in love with [her]81-ruth . It annoyed [her]81-ruth extremely ; it made [her]81-ruth reproach [herself]81-ruth that [she]81-ruth ever should think such a thing possible . [She]81-ruth tried to strangle the notion , to drown it , to starve it out by neglect -- its existence caused [her]81-ruth such pain and distress . The worst was , [he]193-mr farquhar had won [Leonard]104-leonard 's heart , who was constantly seeking [him]193-mr farquhar out ; or , when absent , talking about [him]193-mr farquhar . The best was some journey connected with business , which would take [him]193-mr farquhar to [the Continent]42-the continent for several weeks ; and , during that time , surely this disagreeable fancy of [his]193-mr farquhar would die away , if untrue ; and if true , some way would be opened by which [she]81-ruth might put a stop to all increase of predilection on [his]193-mr farquhar part , and yet retain [him]193-mr farquhar as a friend for [Leonard]104-leonard -- that darling for whom [she]81-ruth was far - seeing and covetous , and [miserly of every scrap of love and kindly regard]5979-miserly of every scrap of love and kindly regard . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar would not have been flattered if [he]193-mr farquhar had known how much [his]193-mr farquhar departure contributed to [Ruth]81-ruth 's rest of mind on the Saturday afternoon on which [he]193-mr farquhar set out on [his]193-mr farquhar journey . It was a beautiful day ; the sky of that intense quivering blue which seemed as though [you]5980-you could look through it for ever , yet not reach [the black , infinite space which is suggested as lying beyond]5981-the black , infinite space which is suggested as lying beyond . Now and then a thin , torn , vaporous cloud floated slowly within the vaulted depth ; but the soft air that gently wafted it was not perceptible among the leaves on the trees , which did not even tremble . [Ruth]81-ruth sat at [her]81-ruth work in the shadow formed by [the old grey garden wall]5982-the old grey garden wall ; [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Sally]148-sally -- [the one in the parlour window - seat mending stockings]5983-the one in the parlour window - seat mending stockings , the other hard at work in [[her]81-ruth kitchen]1778-her kitchen -- were both within talking distance , for it was weather for open doors and windows ; but none of [the three]5985-the three kept up any continued conversation ; and in the intervals [Ruth]81-ruth sang low a brooding song , such as [she]81-ruth remembered [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother singing long ago . Now and then [she]81-ruth stopped to look at [Leonard]104-leonard , who was labouring away with vehement energy at digging over [a small plot of ground]5987-a small plot of ground , where [he]104-leonard meant to prick out some celery plants that had been given to [him]104-leonard . [Ruth]81-ruth 's heart warmed at the earnest , spirited way in which [he]104-leonard thrust [his]104-leonard large spade deep down into the brown soil , [his]104-leonard ruddy face glowing , [his]104-leonard curly hair wet with the exertion ; and yet [she]81-ruth sighed to think that the days were over when [her]81-ruth deeds of skill could give [him]104-leonard pleasure . Now , [his]104-leonard delight was in acting [himself]104-leonard ; last year , not fourteen months ago , [he]104-leonard had watched [her]81-ruth making a daisy - chain for [him]104-leonard , as if [he]104-leonard could not admire [her]81-ruth cleverness enough ; this year -- this week , when [she]81-ruth had been devoting every spare hour to the simple tailoring which [she]81-ruth performed for [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy ( [she]81-ruth had always made every article [he]104-leonard wore , and felt almost jealous of the employment ) , [he]104-leonard had come to [her]81-ruth with a wistful look , and asked when [he]104-leonard might begin to have clothes made by [a man]650-a man ? Ever since the Wednesday when [she]81-ruth had accompanied [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , at [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's desire , to be measured for spring clothes by [the new Eccleston dressmaker]5990-the new eccleston dressmaker , [she]81-ruth had been looking forward to this Saturday afternoon 's pleasure of making summer trousers for [Leonard]104-leonard ; but the satisfaction of the employment was a little taken away by [Leonard]104-leonard 's speech . It was a sign , however , that [her]81-ruth life was very quiet and peaceful , that [she]81-ruth had leisure to think upon the thing at all ; and often [she]81-ruth forgot it entirely in [her]81-ruth low , chanting song , or in listening to the thrush warbling out [his]104-leonard afternoon ditty to [[his]104-leonard patient mate]5991-his patient mate in the holly - bush below . The distant rumble of [carts]5992-carts through [the busy streets]5993-the busy streets ( it was market - day ) not only formed a low rolling bass to the nearer and pleasanter sounds , but enhanced the sense of peace by the suggestion of the contrast afforded to the repose of [the garden]783-the garden by the bustle not far off . But besides physical din and bustle , there is mental strife and turmoil . That afternoon , as [Jemima]217-jemima was restlessly wandering about [the house]426-the house , [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother desired [her]217-jemima to go on an errand to [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson 's , [the new dressmaker]5997-the new dressmaker , in order to give some directions about [[her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters ' new frocks . [Jemima]217-jemima went , rather than have the trouble of resisting ; or else [she]217-jemima would have preferred staying at [home]4124-home , moving or being outwardly quiet according to [her]217-jemima own fitful will . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , who , as [I]3073-i have said , had been aware for some time that something was wrong with [[her]151-mrs bradshaw daughter]633-her daughter , and was very anxious to set it to rights if [she]151-mrs bradshaw only knew how , had rather planned this errand with a view to dispel [Jemima]217-jemima 's melancholy . "[3073-i] And , [Mimie]208-mimie , [dear]4155-dear , " said [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother , "[208-mimie] when [you]4155-dear are [there]332-there , look out for a new bonnet for [yourself]4155-dear ; [she]3076-she has got some very pretty ones , and [your]4155-dear old one is so shabby . " "[4127-mother] It does for [me]0-i , [mother]4127-mother , " said [Jemima]217-jemima , heavily . "[4127-mother] [I]0-i do n't want a new bonnet . " "[0-i] But [I]0-i want [you]208-mimie to have one , [[my]0-i lassie]3078-my lassie . [I]0-i want [[my]0-i girl]3079-my girl to look well and nice . " There was something of homely tenderness in [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's tone that touched [Jemima]217-jemima 's heart . [She]217-jemima went to [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother , and kissed [her]710-her mother with more of affection than [she]217-jemima had shown to [any one]425-any one for weeks before ; and the kiss was returned with warm fondness . "[0-i] [I]0-i think [you]4127-mother love [me]0-i , [mother]4127-mother , " said [Jemima]217-jemima . "[4127-mother] [We]3081-we all love [you]208-mimie , [dear]4155-dear , if [you]208-mimie would but think so . And if [you]208-mimie want anything , or wish for anything , only tell [me]0-i , and with a little patience [I]0-i can get [[your]208-mimie father]5319-your father to give it [you]208-mimie , [I]0-i know . Only be happy , there 's [a good girl]4553-a good girl . " "[4553-a good girl] Be happy ! as if [one]321-one could by an effort of will ! " thought [Jemima]217-jemima , as [she]217-jemima went along [the street]347-the street , too absorbed in [herself]217-jemima to notice the bows of [acquaintances]6005-acquaintances and [friends]678-friends , but instinctively guiding [herself]217-jemima right among the throng and press of carts , and gigs , and [market people in [High Street]60-high street]6007-market people in high street . But [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother 's tones and looks , with their comforting power , remained longer in [her]217-jemima recollection than the inconsistency of any words spoken . When [she]217-jemima had completed [her]217-jemima errand about the frocks , [she]217-jemima asked to look at some bonnets , in order to show [her]217-jemima recognition of [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother 's kind thought . [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson was [a smart , clever - looking woman of five or six and thirty]6010-a smart , clever - looking woman of five or six and thirty . [She]240-mrs pearson had all the variety of small - talk at [her]240-mrs pearson finger - ends that was formerly needed by [barbers]6011-barbers to amuse [the people who came to be shaved]6012-the people who came to be shaved . [She]240-mrs pearson had admired [the town]396-the town till [Jemima]217-jemima was weary of [its]396-the town praises , sick and oppressed by [its]396-the town sameness , as [she]217-jemima had been these many weeks . "[321-one] Here are some bonnets , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , that will be just the thing for [you]4148-ma'am -- elegant and tasty , yet quite of the simple style , suitable to [young ladies]4121-young ladies . Oblige [me]0-i by trying on this white silk ! " [Jemima]217-jemima looked at [herself]217-jemima in the glass ; [she]217-jemima was obliged to own it was very becoming , and perhaps not the less so for the flush of modest shame which came into [her]217-jemima cheeks as [she]217-jemima heard [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson 's open praises of the "[4148-ma'am] rich , beautiful hair , " and the "[4148-ma'am] Oriental eyes " of [the wearer]6014-the wearer . "[0-i] [I]0-i induced [the young lady who accompanied [[your]4148-ma'am sisters]3089-your sisters the other day]3088-the young lady who accompanied your sisters the other day -- [the governess]5644-the governess , is [she]3088-the young lady who accompanied your sisters the other day , [ma'am]4148-ma'am ? " "[3088-the young lady who accompanied your sisters the other day] Yes -- [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh is [her]156-mrs denbigh name , " said [Jemima]217-jemima , clouding over . "[156-mrs denbigh] Thank [you]4148-ma'am , [ma'am]4148-ma'am . Well , [I]0-i persuaded [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh to try on that bonnet , and [you]4148-ma'am ca n't think how charming [she]156-mrs denbigh looked in it ; and yet [I]0-i do n't think it became [her]156-mrs denbigh as much as it does [you]4148-ma'am . " "[4148-ma'am] [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh is very beautiful , " said [Jemima]217-jemima , taking off the bonnet , and not much inclined to try on any other . "[156-mrs denbigh] Very , [ma'am]4148-ma'am . Quite a peculiar style of beauty . If [I]0-i might be allowed , [I]0-i should say that [hers]156-mrs denbigh was a Grecian style of loveliness , while [yours]3094-yours was [Oriental]241-oriental . [She]156-mrs denbigh reminded [me]0-i of [a young person [I]0-i once knew in [Fordham]27-fordham]3095-a young person i once knew in fordham . " [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson sighed an audible sigh . "[3095-a young person i once knew in fordham] In [Fordham]27-fordham ! " said [Jemima]217-jemima , remembering that [Ruth]81-ruth had once spoken of [the place]444-the place as one in which [she]81-ruth had spent some time , while [the county in which]6016-the county in which [it]444-the place was situated was the same in which [Ruth]81-ruth was born . "[3095-a young person i once knew in fordham] In [Fordham]27-fordham ! Why , [I]0-i think [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh comes from [that neighbourhood]3096-that neighbourhood . " "[156-mrs denbigh] Oh , [ma'am]4148-ma'am ! [she]156-mrs denbigh can not be [the young person [I]0-i mean]3098-the young person i mean -- [I]0-i am sure , [ma'am]4148-ma'am -- holding the position [she]156-mrs denbigh does in [[your]4148-ma'am establishment]3100-your establishment . [I]0-i should hardly say [I]0-i knew [her]156-mrs denbigh [myself]0-i ; for [I]0-i only saw [her]156-mrs denbigh two or three times at [[[my]0-i sister]5054-my sister 's house]3102-my sister 's house ; but [she]156-mrs denbigh was so remarked for [her]156-mrs denbigh beauty , that [I]0-i remember [her]156-mrs denbigh face quite well -- the more so , on account of [her]156-mrs denbigh vicious conduct afterwards . " "[156-mrs denbigh] [Her]156-mrs denbigh vicious conduct ! " repeated [Jemima]217-jemima , convinced by these words that there could be no identity between [Ruth]81-ruth and [the "[156-mrs denbigh] young person]6017-the " young person " alluded to . "[156-mrs denbigh] Then it could not have been [our]3103-our [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . " "[156-mrs denbigh] Oh , no , [ma'am]4148-ma'am ! [I]0-i am sure [I]0-i should be sorry to be understood to have suggested anything of the kind . [I]0-i beg [your]4148-ma'am pardon if [I]0-i did so . All [I]0-i meant to say -- and perhaps that was a liberty [I]0-i ought not to have taken , considering what [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth was-- " "[81-ruth] [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth ! " said [Jemima]217-jemima , turning suddenly round , and facing [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson . "[81-ruth] Yes , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , that was the name of [the young person]4628-the young person [I]0-i allude to . " "[4628-the young person] Tell [me]0-i about [her]81-ruth -- what did [she]81-ruth do ? " asked [Jemima]217-jemima , subduing [her]217-jemima eagerness of tone and look as best [she]217-jemima might , but trembling as on the verge of some strange discovery . "[81-ruth] [I]0-i do n't know whether [I]0-i ought to tell [you]4148-ma'am , [ma'am]4148-ma'am -- it is hardly a fit story for [a young lady]3108-a young lady ; but [this Ruth Hilton]81-ruth was [an apprentice to [[my]0-i sister - in - law , who had a first - rate business in [Fordham]27-fordham , which brought [her]81-ruth a good deal of patronage from [the county families]3111-the county families]3110-my sister - in - law , who had a first - rate business in fordham , which brought her a good deal of patronage from the county families]3109-an apprentice to my sister - in - law , who had a first - rate business in fordham , which brought her a good deal of patronage from the county families ; and [this young creature]4692-this young creature was very artful and bold , and thought sadly too much of [her]4692-this young creature beauty ; and , somehow , [she]4692-this young creature beguiled [a young gentleman]3113-a young gentleman , who took [her]4692-this young creature into keeping ( [I]0-i am sure , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [I]0-i ought to apologise for polluting [your]4148-ma'am ears-- ) " "[3113-a young gentleman] Go on , " said [Jemima]217-jemima , breathlessly . "[3113-a young gentleman] [I]0-i do n't know much more . [[His]3113-a young gentleman mother]655-his mother followed [him]3113-a young gentleman into [Wales]22-wales . [She]655-his mother was [a lady of a great deal of religion]3116-a lady of a great deal of religion , and of [a very old family]3117-a very old family , and was much shocked at [[her]655-his mother son]990-her son 's misfortune in being captivated by [such a person]3119-such a person ; but [she]655-his mother led [him]3113-a young gentleman to repentance , and took [him]3113-a young gentleman to [Paris]17-paris , where , [I]0-i think , [she]655-his mother died ; but [I]0-i am not sure , for , owing to family differences , [I]0-i have not been on terms for some years with [[my]0-i sister - in - law]3120-my sister - in - law , who was [[my]0-i informant]3121-my informant . " "[3120-my sister - in - law] Who died ? " interrupted [[Jemima--"the[3120-my sister - in - law] young man]6018-jemima--"the young man 's mother]6019-jemima--"the young man 's mother , or -- or [Ruth Hilton]81-ruth ? " "[81-ruth] Oh dear , [ma'am]4148-ma'am ! pray do n't confuse the two . [It]3123-it was [the mother]618-the mother , [Mrs--]3125-mrs-- [I]0-i forget the name -- something like [Billington]242-billington . It was [the lady who died]3126-the lady who died . " "[3126-the lady who died] And what became of the other ? " asked [Jemima]217-jemima , unable , as [her]217-jemima dark suspicion seemed thickening , to speak the name . "[1016-the girl] [The girl]1016-the girl ? Why , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , what could become of [her]1016-the girl ? Not that [I]0-i know exactly -- [only one]3129-only one knows [they]3130-they can but go from bad to worse , [poor creatures]3131-poor creatures ! God forgive [me]0-i , if [I]0-i am speaking too transiently of [such degraded women , who , after all , are a disgrace to [our]3133-our sex]3132-such degraded women , who , after all , are a disgrace to our sex . " "[0-i] Then [you]0-i know nothing more about [her]1016-the girl ? " asked [Jemima]217-jemima . "[0-i] [I]0-i did hear that [she]1016-the girl had gone off with [another gentleman that [she]1016-the girl met with in [Wales]22-wales]3134-another gentleman that she met with in wales , but [I]0-i 'm sure [I]0-i ca n't tell who told [me]0-i . " There was a little pause . [Jemima]217-jemima was pondering on all [she]217-jemima had heard . Suddenly [she]217-jemima felt that [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson 's eyes were upon [her]217-jemima , watching [her]217-jemima ; not with curiosity , but with a newly - awakened intelligence;--and yet [she]217-jemima must ask one more question ; but [she]217-jemima tried to ask it in an indifferent , careless tone , handling the bonnet while [she]217-jemima spoke . "[0-i] How long is it since all this -- all [you]0-i have been telling [me]0-i about -- happened ? " ( [Leonard]104-leonard was eight years old . ) "[0-i] Why -- let [me]0-i see . It was before [I]0-i was married , and [I]0-i was married three years , and poor dear [Pearson]240-mrs pearson has been deceased five -- [I]0-i should say going on for nine years this summer . Blush roses would become [your]0-i complexion , perhaps , better than these lilacs , " said [she]217-jemima , as with superficial observation [she]217-jemima watched [Jemima]217-jemima turning the bonnet round and round on [her]217-jemima hand -- the bonnet that [her]217-jemima dizzy eyes did not see . "[0-i] Thank [you]0-i . It is very pretty . But [I]0-i do n't want a bonnet . [I]0-i beg [your]0-i pardon for taking up [your]0-i time . " And with an abrupt bow to [the discomfited Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson , [she]217-jemima was out and away in the open air , threading [her]217-jemima way with instinctive energy along [the crowded street]6020-the crowded street . Suddenly [she]217-jemima turned round , and went back to [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson 's with even more rapidity than [she]217-jemima had been walking away from [the house]426-the house . "[0-i] [I]0-i have changed [my]0-i mind , " said [she]217-jemima , as [she]217-jemima came , breathless , up into [the show - room]6022-the show - room . "[0-i] [I]0-i will take the bonnet . How much is it ? " "[0-i] Allow [me]0-i to change the flowers ; it can be done in an instant , and then [you]0-i can see if [you]0-i would not prefer the roses ; but with either foliage it is a lovely little bonnet , " said [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson , holding it up admiringly on [her]240-mrs pearson hand . "[0-i] Oh ! never mind the flowers -- yes ! change them to roses . " And [she]217-jemima stood by , agitated ( [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson thought with impatience ) , all the time [the milliner]481-the milliner was making the alteration with skilful , busy haste . "[4148-ma'am] By the way , " said [Jemima]217-jemima , when [she]217-jemima saw the last touches were being given , and that [she]217-jemima must not delay executing the purpose which was the real cause of [her]217-jemima return--"Papa[4148-ma'am] , [I]0-i am sure , would not like [your]0-i connecting [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's name with such a -- story as [you]0-i have been telling [me]0-i . " "[0-i] Oh dear ! [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [I]0-i have too much respect for [you]4148-ma'am all to think of doing such a thing ! Of course [I]0-i know , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , that it is not to be cast up to [any lady]3137-any lady that [she]3137-any lady is like [anybody disreputable]3138-anybody disreputable . " "[3137-any lady] But [I]0-i would rather [you]0-i did not name the likeness to [any one]425-any one , " said [Jemima]217-jemima ; "[0-i] not to [any one]425-any one . Do n't tell [any one]425-any one the story [you]0-i have told [me]0-i this morning . " "[0-i] Indeed , [ma'am]4148-ma'am , [I]0-i should never think of such a thing ! [[My]0-i poor husband]3143-my poor husband could have borne witness that [I]0-i am as close as the grave where there is anything to conceal . " "[0-i] Oh dear ! " said [Jemima]217-jemima , "[0-i] [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson , there is nothing to conceal ; only [you]0-i must not speak about it . " "[0-i] [I]0-i certainly shall not do it , [ma'am]4148-ma'am ; [you]4148-ma'am may rest assured of [me]0-i . " This time [Jemima]217-jemima did not go towards [home]4124-home , but in the direction of [the outskirts of [the town]396-the town]1868-the outskirts of the town , on [the hilly side]6027-the hilly side . [She]217-jemima had some dim recollection of hearing [[her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters ask if [they]2576-her sisters might not go and invite [Leonard]104-leonard and [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother to tea ; and how could [she]217-jemima face [Ruth]81-ruth , after the conviction had taken possession of [her]217-jemima heart that [she]81-ruth , and [the sinful creature [she]217-jemima had just heard of]6030-the sinful creature she had just heard of , were [one and the same]6031-one and the same ? It was yet only the middle of the afternoon ; the hours were early in [the old - fashioned town of [Eccleston]36-eccleston]6032-the old - fashioned town of eccleston . Soft white clouds had come slowly sailing up out of the west ; [the plain]965-the plain was flecked with thin floating shadows , gently borne along by the westerly wind that was waving the long grass in [the hay - fields]6034-the hay - fields into alternate light and shade . [Jemima]217-jemima went into [one of [these fields]6036-these fields]6035-one of these fields , lying by the side of [the upland road]6037-the upland road . [She]217-jemima was stunned by the shock [she]217-jemima had received . [The diver]6038-the diver , leaving the green sward , smooth and known , where [[his]6038-the diver friends]4517-his friends stand with [their]4517-his friends familiar smiling faces , admiring [his]6038-the diver glad bravery -- [the diver]6038-the diver , down in an instant in [the horrid depths of the sea]6041-the horrid depths of the sea , close to [some strange , ghastly , lidless - eyed monster]6042-some strange , ghastly , lidless - eyed monster , can hardly more feel [his]6038-the diver blood curdle at the near terror than did [Jemima]217-jemima now . Two hours ago -- but a point of time on [her]217-jemima mind 's dial -- [she]217-jemima had never imagined that [she]217-jemima should ever come in contact with [any one who had committed open sin]6043-any one who had committed open sin ; [she]217-jemima had never shaped [her]217-jemima conviction into words and sentences , but still it was _ there _ , that [all the respectable]6044-all the respectable , all the family and religious circumstances of [her]217-jemima life , would hedge [her]217-jemima in , and guard [her]217-jemima from ever encountering the great shock of coming face to face with vice . Without being pharisaical in [her]217-jemima estimation of [herself]217-jemima , [she]217-jemima had all [a Pharisee]6045-a pharisee 's dread of [publicans]6046-publicans and [sinners]6047-sinners , and all [a child]556-a child 's cowardliness -- that cowardliness which prompts it to shut [its]556-a child eyes against the object of terror , rather than acknowledge its existence with brave faith . [[Her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's often reiterated speeches had not been without their effect . [He]411-her father drew a clear line of partition , which separated [mankind]6050-mankind into two great groups , to one of which , by the grace of [God]104-leonard , [he]411-her father and [[his]411-her father belonged]6051-his belonged ; while the other was composed of those whom it was [his]411-her father duty to try and reform , and bring the whole force of [his]411-her father morality to bear upon , with lectures , admonitions , and exhortations -- a duty to be performed , because it was a duty -- but with very little of that Hope and Faith which is the Spirit that maketh alive . [Jemima]217-jemima had rebelled against these hard doctrines of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's , but their frequent repetition had had its effect , and led [her]217-jemima to look upon [those who had gone astray with shrinking , shuddering recoil , instead of with a pity so Christ - like as to have both wisdom and tenderness in it]6053-those who had gone astray with shrinking , shuddering recoil , instead of with a pity so christ - like as to have both wisdom and tenderness in it . And now [she]217-jemima saw among [[her]217-jemima own familiar associates]6054-her own familiar associates one , almost [[her]217-jemima housefellow]6055-her housefellow , who had been stained with that evil most repugnant to [her]217-jemima womanly modesty , that would fain have ignored its existence altogether . [She]217-jemima loathed the thought of meeting [Ruth]81-ruth again . [She]217-jemima wished that [she]217-jemima could take [her]81-ruth up , and put [her]81-ruth down at a distance somewhere -- anywhere -- where [she]217-jemima might never see or hear of [her]81-ruth more ; never be reminded , as [she]217-jemima must be whenever [she]217-jemima saw [her]81-ruth , that such things were in [this sunny , bright , lark - singing earth]6056-this sunny , bright , lark - singing earth , over which [the blue dome of heaven]6057-the blue dome of heaven bent softly down as [Jemima]217-jemima sat in [the hayfield]6058-the hayfield that June afternoon ; [her]217-jemima cheeks flushed and red , but [her]217-jemima lips pale and compressed , and [her]217-jemima eyes full of a heavy , angry sorrow . It was Saturday , and [the people in [that part of [the country]514-the country]885-that part of the country]6059-the people in that part of the country left [their]6059-the people in that part of the country work an hour earlier on that day . By this , [Jemima]217-jemima knew it must be growing time for [her]217-jemima to be at [home]4124-home . [She]217-jemima had had so much of conflict in [her]217-jemima own mind of late , that [she]217-jemima had grown to dislike struggle , or speech , or explanation ; and so strove to conform to times and hours much more than [she]217-jemima had done in happier days . But oh ! how full of hate [her]217-jemima heart was growing against [the world]506-the world ! And oh ! how [she]217-jemima sickened at the thought of seeing [Ruth]81-ruth ! Who was to be trusted more , if [Ruth -- calm , modest , delicate , dignified Ruth]6064-ruth -- calm , modest , delicate , dignified ruth -- had a memory blackened by sin ? As [she]217-jemima went heavily along , the thought of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar came into [her]217-jemima mind . It showed how terrible had been the stun , that [he]193-mr farquhar had been forgotten until now . With the thought of [him]193-mr farquhar came in [her]217-jemima first merciful feeling towards [Ruth]81-ruth . This would never have been , had there been the least latent suspicion in [Jemima]217-jemima 's jealous mind that [Ruth]81-ruth had purposely done aught -- looked a look -- uttered a word -- modulated a tone -- for the sake of attracting . As [Jemima]217-jemima recalled all the passages of [their]6065-they intercourse , [she]217-jemima slowly confessed to [herself]217-jemima how pure and simple had been all [Ruth]81-ruth 's ways in relation to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . It was not merely that there had been no coquetting , but there had been simple unconsciousness on [Ruth]81-ruth 's part , for so long a time after [Jemima]217-jemima had discovered [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's inclination for [her]217-jemima ; and when at length [she]217-jemima had slowly awakened to some perception of the state of [his]193-mr farquhar feelings , there had been a modest , shrinking dignity of manner , not startled , or emotional , or even timid , but pure , grave , and quiet ; and this conduct of [Ruth]81-ruth 's , [Jemima]217-jemima instinctively acknowledged to be of necessity transparent and sincere . Now , and here , there was no hypocrisy ; but some time , somewhere , on the part of [somebody]5422-somebody , what hypocrisy , what lies must have been acted , if not absolutely spoken , before [Ruth]81-ruth could have been received by [them]6065-they all as [the sweet , gentle , girlish widow]6067-the sweet , gentle , girlish widow , which [she]217-jemima remembered [they]6065-they had all believed [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh to be when first [she]156-mrs denbigh came among [them]6065-they ! Could [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson know ? Could [they]6065-they be [a party to the deceit]6068-a party to the deceit ? Not sufficiently acquainted with [the world]506-the world to understand how strong had been the temptation to play the part [they]6065-they did , if [they]6065-they wished to give [Ruth]81-ruth a chance , [Jemima]217-jemima could not believe [them]6065-they guilty of such deceit as the knowledge of [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's previous conduct would imply ; and yet how it darkened [the latter]1745-the latter into [a treacherous hypocrite]6071-a treacherous hypocrite , with a black secret shut up in [her]81-ruth soul for years -- living in apparent confidence , and daily household familiarity with [the Bensons]157-the bensons for years , yet never telling the remorse that ought to be corroding [her]81-ruth heart ! Who was true ? [Who]6072-who was not ? Who was good and pure ? [Who]6072-who was not ? The very foundations of [Jemima]217-jemima 's belief in [her]217-jemima mind were shaken . Could it be false ? Could there be two [Ruth Hiltons]243-ruth hiltons ? [She]217-jemima went over every morsel of evidence . It could not be . [She]217-jemima knew that [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh 's former name had been [Hilton]81-ruth . [She]217-jemima had heard [her]81-ruth speak casually , but charily , of having lived in [Fordham]27-fordham . [She]217-jemima knew [she]81-ruth had been in [Wales]22-wales but a short time before [she]81-ruth made [her]81-ruth appearance in [Eccleston]36-eccleston . There was no doubt of the identity . Into the middle of [Jemima]217-jemima 's pain and horror at the afternoon 's discovery , there came a sense of the power which the knowledge of this secret gave [her]217-jemima over [Ruth]81-ruth ; but this was no relief , only an aggravation of the regret with which [Jemima]217-jemima looked back on [her]217-jemima state of ignorance . It was no wonder that when [she]217-jemima arrived at [home]4124-home , [she]217-jemima was so oppressed with headache that [she]217-jemima had to go to bed directly . "[4127-mother] Quiet , [mother]4127-mother ! quiet , dear , [dear mother]3146-dear mother " ( for [she]217-jemima clung to the known and tried goodness of [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother more than ever now ) , "[3146-dear mother] that is all [I]0-i want . " And [she]217-jemima was left to the stillness of [[her]217-jemima darkened room]6075-her darkened room , the blinds idly flapping to and fro in the soft evening breeze , and letting in the rustling sound of the branches which waved close to [her]217-jemima window , and the thrush 's gurgling warble , and the distant hum of [the busy town]6076-the busy town . [Her]217-jemima jealousy was gone -- [she]217-jemima knew not how or where . [She]217-jemima might shun and recoil from [Ruth]81-ruth , but [she]217-jemima now thought that [she]217-jemima could never more be jealous of [her]81-ruth . In [her]217-jemima pride of innocence , [she]217-jemima felt almost ashamed that such a feeling could have had existence . Could [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar hesitate between [[her]217-jemima own self]6077-her own self and one who-- No ! [she]217-jemima could not name what [Ruth]81-ruth had been , even in thought . And yet [he]193-mr farquhar might never know , so fair a seeming did [[her]217-jemima rival]6078-her rival wear . Oh ! for one ray of [God]104-leonard 's holy light to know what was seeming , and what was truth , in [this traitorous hollow earth]6079-this traitorous hollow earth ! It might be -- [she]217-jemima used to think such things possible , before sorrow had embittered [her]217-jemima -- that [Ruth]81-ruth had worked [her]81-ruth way through the deep purgatory of repentance up to something like purity again ; [God]104-leonard only knew ! If [her]81-ruth present goodness was real -- if , after having striven back thus far on [the heights]6080-the heights , [a fellow - woman]6081-a fellow - woman was to throw [her]81-ruth down into some terrible depth with [her]81-ruth unkind , incontinent tongue , that would be too cruel ! And yet , if -- there was such woeful uncertainty and deceit somewhere -- if [Ruth--]244-ruth-- No ! that [Jemima]217-jemima , with noble candour , admitted was impossible . Whatever [Ruth]81-ruth had been , [she]217-jemima was good , and to be respected as such , now . It did not follow that [Jemima]217-jemima was to preserve the secret always ; [she]217-jemima doubted [her]217-jemima own power to do so , if [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar came [home]4124-home again , and were still constant in [his]193-mr farquhar admiration of [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , and if [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh gave [him]193-mr farquhar any -- the least encouragement . But this last [she]217-jemima thought , from what [she]217-jemima knew of [Ruth]81-ruth 's character , was impossible . Only , what was impossible after this afternoon 's discovery ? At any rate , [she]217-jemima would watch and wait . Come what might , [Ruth]81-ruth was in [her]81-ruth power . And , strange to say , this last certainty gave [Jemima]217-jemima a kind of protecting , almost pitying , feeling for [Ruth]81-ruth . [Her]217-jemima horror at the wrong was not diminished ; but the more [she]217-jemima thought of the struggles that [the wrong - doer]6083-the wrong - doer must have made to extricate [herself]217-jemima , the more [she]217-jemima felt how cruel it would be to baffle all by revealing what had been . But for [[her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters ' sake [she]217-jemima had a duty to perform ; [she]217-jemima must watch [Ruth]81-ruth . For [her]217-jemima love 's sake [she]217-jemima could not have helped watching ; but [she]217-jemima was too much stunned to recognise the force of [her]217-jemima love , while duty seemed the only stable thing to cling to . For the present [she]217-jemima would neither meddle nor mar in [Ruth]81-ruth 's course of life . CHAPTER XXVI [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's Virtuous Indignation So it was that [Jemima]217-jemima no longer avoided [Ruth]81-ruth , nor manifested by word or look the dislike which for a long time [she]217-jemima had been scarce concealing . [Ruth]81-ruth could not help noticing that [Jemima]217-jemima always sought to be in [her]217-jemima presence while [she]217-jemima was at [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's house]2402-mr bradshaw 's house ; either when daily teaching [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , or when [she]217-jemima came as [an occasional visitor]6086-an occasional visitor with [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson , or by [herself]217-jemima . Up to this time [Jemima]217-jemima had used no gentle skill to conceal the abruptness with which [she]217-jemima would leave [the room]357-the room rather than that [Ruth]81-ruth and [she]217-jemima should be brought into contact -- rather than that it should fall to [her]217-jemima lot to entertain [Ruth]81-ruth during any part of the evening . It was months since [Jemima]217-jemima had left off sitting in [the schoolroom]2601-the schoolroom , as had been [her]217-jemima wo nt during the first few years of [[Ruth]81-ruth 's governess]6089-ruth 's governess - ship . Now , each morning [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw seated [herself]151-mrs bradshaw at a little round table in the window , at [her]151-mrs bradshaw work , or at [her]151-mrs bradshaw writing ; but whether [she]151-mrs bradshaw sewed , or wrote , or read , [Ruth]81-ruth felt that [she]81-ruth was always watching -- watching . At first [Ruth]81-ruth had welcomed all these changes in habit and behaviour , as giving [her]81-ruth a chance , [she]81-ruth thought , by some patient waiting or some opportune show of enduring , constant love , to regain [[her]81-ruth lost friend]6090-her lost friend 's regard ; but by - and - by the icy chillness , immovable and grey , struck more to [her]81-ruth heart than many sudden words of unkindness could have done . They might be attributed to the hot impulses of a hasty temper -- to the vehement anger of [an accuser]6091-an accuser ; but this measured manner was the conscious result of some deep - seated feeling ; this cold sternness befitted the calm implacability of [some severe judge]6092-some severe judge . The watching , which [Ruth]81-ruth felt was ever upon [her]81-ruth , made [her]81-ruth unconsciously shiver , as [you]6093-you would if [you]6093-you saw that the passionless eyes of the dead were visibly gazing upon [you]6093-you . [Her]81-ruth very being shrivelled and parched up in [Jemima]217-jemima 's presence , as if blown upon by a bitter , keen , east wind . [Jemima]217-jemima bent every power [she]217-jemima possessed upon the one object of ascertaining what [Ruth]81-ruth really was . Sometimes the strain was very painful ; the constant tension made [her]81-ruth soul weary ; and [she]81-ruth moaned aloud , and upbraided circumstance ( [she]81-ruth dared not go higher -- to [the Maker of circumstance]6094-the maker of circumstance ) for having deprived [her]81-ruth of [her]81-ruth unsuspicious happy ignorance . Things were in this state when [Mr Richard Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw came on [his]149-mr bradshaw annual home visit . [He]149-mr bradshaw was to remain another year in [London]3-london , and then to return and be admitted into [the firm]5329-the firm . After [he]149-mr bradshaw had been a week at [home]4124-home , [he]149-mr bradshaw grew tired of the monotonous regularity of [[[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father 's household]6098-his father 's household , and began to complain of it to [Jemima]217-jemima . "[3146-dear mother] [I]0-i wish [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar were at [home]4124-home . Though [he]193-mr farquhar is such [a stiff , quiet old fellow]3148-a stiff , quiet old fellow , [his]193-mr farquhar coming in in the evenings makes a change . What has become of [the Millses]245-the millses ? [They]245-the millses used to drink tea with [us]3149-us sometimes , formerly . " "[245-the millses] Oh ! [papa]4310-papa and [Mr Mills]246-mr mills took opposite sides at the election , and [we]3149-us have never visited since . [I]0-i do n't think they are any great loss . " "[5210-anybody] [Anybody]5210-anybody is a loss -- [the stupidest bore that ever was]3152-the stupidest bore that ever was would be a blessing , if [he]3152-the stupidest bore that ever was only would come in sometimes . " "[3153-mr] [Mr]3153-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson have drank tea here twice since [you]0-i came . " "[3153-mr] Come , that 's capital ! Apropos of [stupid bores]3154-stupid bores , [you]0-i talk of [the Bensons]157-the bensons . [I]0-i did not think [you]0-i had so much discrimination , [[my]0-i little sister]3155-my little sister . " [Jemima]217-jemima looked up in surprise ; and then reddened angrily . "[0-i] [I]0-i never meant to say a word against [Mr]3156-mr or [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , and that [you]0-i know quite well , [Dick]214-dick . " "[214-dick] Never mind ! [I]0-i wo n't tell tales . [They]3157-they are [stupid old fogeys]3158-stupid old fogeys , but they are better than [nobody]5038-nobody , especially as [that handsome governess of [the girls]414-the girls]3160-that handsome governess of the girls always comes with [them]3157-they to be looked at . " There was a little pause ; [Richard]149-mr bradshaw broke it by saying : "[3160-that handsome governess of the girls] Do [you]0-i know , [Mimie]208-mimie , [I]0-i 've a notion , if [she]3160-that handsome governess of the girls plays [her]3160-that handsome governess of the girls cards well , [she]3160-that handsome governess of the girls may hook [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ! " "[193-mr farquhar] Who ? " asked [Jemima]217-jemima , shortly , though [she]217-jemima knew quite well . "[193-mr farquhar] [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , to be sure . [We]3162-we were talking of [her]3160-that handsome governess of the girls , [you]0-i know . [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar asked [me]0-i to dine with [him]193-mr farquhar at [[his]193-mr farquhar hotel]3163-his hotel as [he]193-mr farquhar passed through [town]666-town , and -- [I'd]0-i [my]0-i own reasons for going and trying to creep up [his]193-mr farquhar sleeve -- [I]0-i wanted [him]193-mr farquhar to tip [me]0-i , as [he]193-mr farquhar used to do . " "[193-mr farquhar] For shame ! [Dick]214-dick , " burst in [Jemima]217-jemima . "[214-dick] Well ! well ! not tip [me]0-i exactly , but lend [me]0-i some money . [The governor]3165-the governor keeps [me]0-i so deucedly short . " "[3165-the governor] Why ! it was only yesterday , when [[my]0-i father]4925-my father was speaking about [your]214-dick expenses , and [your]214-dick allowance , [I]0-i heard [you]214-dick say that [you]214-dick 'd more than [you]214-dick knew how to spend . " "[214-dick] Do n't [you]214-dick see that was the perfection of art ? If [[my]0-i father]4925-my father had thought [me]0-i extravagant , [he]4925-my father would have kept [me]0-i in with a tight rein ; as it is , [I]0-i 'm in great hopes of [a handsome addition]3168-a handsome addition , and [I]0-i can tell [you]214-dick it 's needed . If [[my]0-i father]4925-my father had given [me]0-i what [I]0-i ought to have had at first , [I]0-i should not have been driven to the speculations and messes [I]0-i 've got into . " "[0-i] What speculations ? What messes ? " asked [Jemima]217-jemima , with anxious eagerness . "[0-i] Oh ! messes was not the right word . Speculations hardly was ; for they are sure to turn out well , and then [I]0-i shall surprise [[my]0-i father]4925-my father with [my]0-i riches . " [He]4925-my father saw that [he]4925-my father had gone a little too far in [his]4925-my father confidence , and was trying to draw in . "[214-dick] But , what do [you]214-dick mean ? Do explain it to [me]0-i . " "[214-dick] Never [you]214-dick trouble [your]214-dick head about [my]0-i business , [[my]0-i dear]4145-my dear . [Women]4167-women ca n't understand the share - market , and such things . Do n't think [I]0-i 've forgotten the awful blunders [you]214-dick made when [you]214-dick tried to read the state of the money - market aloud to [[my]0-i father]4925-my father , that night when [he]4925-my father had lost [his]4925-my father spectacles . What were [we]3174-we talking of ? Oh ! of [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar and [pretty Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . Yes ! [I]0-i soon found out that was the subject [[my]0-i gentleman]4994-my gentleman liked [me]0-i to dwell on . [He]4925-my father did not talk about [her]156-mrs denbigh much [himself]4925-my father , but [his]4925-my father eyes sparkled when [I]0-i told [him]4925-my father what enthusiastic letters [Polly]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth wrote about [her]156-mrs denbigh . How old [d'ye]3176-d'ye think [she]156-mrs denbigh is ? " "[3176-d'ye] [I]0-i know ! " said [Jemima]217-jemima . "[3176-d'ye] At least , [I]0-i heard [her]156-mrs denbigh age spoken about , amongst other things , when first [she]156-mrs denbigh came . [She]156-mrs denbigh will be five - and - twenty this autumn . " "[156-mrs denbigh] And [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar is forty , if [he]193-mr farquhar is a day . [She]156-mrs denbigh 's young , too , to have [such a boy as [Leonard]104-leonard]3177-such a boy as leonard ; younger - looking , or full as young - looking as [she]156-mrs denbigh is ! [I]0-i tell [you]0-i what , [Mimie]208-mimie , [she]156-mrs denbigh looks younger than [you]0-i . How old are [you]0-i ? Three - and - twenty , ai n't it ? " "[0-i] Last March , " replied [Jemima]217-jemima . "[0-i] [You]0-i 'll have to make haste and pick up [somebody]5422-somebody , if [you]0-i 're losing [your]0-i good looks at this rate . Why , [Jemima]217-jemima , [I]0-i thought [you]0-i had a good chance of [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar a year or two ago . How come [you]0-i to have lost [him]193-mr farquhar ? [I]0-i 'd far rather [you]0-i 'd had [him]193-mr farquhar than that proud , haughty [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , who flashes [her]156-mrs denbigh great grey eyes upon [me]0-i if ever [I]0-i dare to pay [her]156-mrs denbigh a compliment . [She]156-mrs denbigh ought to think it an honour that [I]0-i take that much notice of [her]156-mrs denbigh . Besides , [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar is rich , and it 's keeping the business of [the firm]5329-the firm in [[one]321-one 's own family]3181-one 's own family ; and if [he]193-mr farquhar marries [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh [she]156-mrs denbigh will be sure to be wanting [Leonard]104-leonard in when [he]193-mr farquhar 's of age , and [I]0-i wo n't have that . Have a try for [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , [Mimie]208-mimie ! Ten to one it 's not too late . [I]0-i wish [I]0-i 'd brought [you]208-mimie a pink bonnet down . [You]208-mimie go about so dowdy -- so careless of how [you]208-mimie look . " "[208-mimie] If [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar has not liked [me]0-i as [I]0-i am , " said [Jemima]217-jemima , choking , "[193-mr farquhar] [I]0-i do n't want to owe [him]193-mr farquhar to a pink bonnet . " "[0-i] Nonsense ! [I]0-i do n't like to have [[[my]0-i sisters]3182-my sisters ' governess stealing a march on [[my]0-i sister]5054-my sister]3183-my sisters ' governess stealing a march on my sister . [I]0-i tell [you]208-mimie [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar is worth trying for . If [you]208-mimie 'll wear the pink bonnet [I]0-i 'll give it [you]208-mimie , and [I]0-i 'll back [you]208-mimie against [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . [I]0-i think [you]208-mimie might have done something with ' [[our]3185-our member]3062-our member , ' as [[my]0-i father]4925-my father calls [him]193-mr farquhar , when [you]208-mimie had [him]193-mr farquhar so long in [the house]426-the house . But , altogether , [I]0-i should like [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar best for [a brother - in - law]3189-a brother - in - law . By the way , have [you]208-mimie heard down here that [Donne]225-mr donne is going to be married ? [I]0-i heard of it in [town]666-town , just before [I]0-i left , from [a man that was good authority]3191-a man that was good authority . [[Some Sir Thomas Campbell]247-sir thomas campbell 's seventh daughter]3192-some sir thomas campbell 's seventh daughter : [a girl without a penny]3193-a girl without a penny ; [father]4711-father ruined [himself]4711-father by gambling , and obliged to live [abroad]3195-abroad . But [Donne]225-mr donne is not [a man to care for any obstacle]3196-a man to care for any obstacle , from all accounts , when once [he]225-mr donne has taken a fancy . It was love at first sight , [they]3197-they say . [I]0-i believe [he]225-mr donne did not know of [her]3192-some sir thomas campbell 's seventh daughter existence a month ago . " "[225-mr donne] No ! [we]3198-we have not heard of it , " replied [Jemima]217-jemima . "[225-mr donne] [[My]0-i father]4925-my father will like to know ; tell it [him]4925-my father ; " continued [she]217-jemima , as [she]217-jemima was leaving [the room]357-the room , to be alone , in order to still [her]217-jemima habitual agitation whenever [she]217-jemima heard [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar and [Ruth]81-ruth coupled together . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar came [home]4124-home the day before [Richard Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw left for [town]666-town . [He]193-mr farquhar dropped in after tea at [[the Bradshaws]206-the bradshaws ']6102-the bradshaws ' ; [he]193-mr farquhar was evidently disappointed to see none but [the family there]6103-the family there , and looked round whenever the door opened . "[4925-my father] Look ! look ! " said [Dick]214-dick to [[his]214-dick sister]4508-his sister . "[0-i] [I]0-i wanted to make sure of [his]3200-his coming in to - night , to save [me]0-i [[my]0-i father]4925-my father 's parting exhortations against the temptations of [the world]506-the world ( as if [I]0-i did not know much more of [the world]506-the world than [he]3200-his does ! ) , so [I]0-i used a spell [I]0-i thought would prove efficacious ; [I]0-i told [him]3200-his that [we]3204-we should be by [ourselves]3204-we , with the exception of [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , and look how [he]3200-his is expecting [her]156-mrs denbigh to come in ! " [Jemima]217-jemima did see ; did understand . [She]217-jemima understood , too , why certain packets were put carefully on one side , apart from the rest of the purchases of Swiss toys and jewellery , by which [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar proved that [none of [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's family]2196-mr bradshaw 's family]6105-none of mr bradshaw 's family had been forgotten by [him]3200-his during [his]3200-his absence . Before the end of the evening , [she]217-jemima was very conscious that [her]217-jemima sore heart had not forgotten how to be jealous . [[Her]217-jemima brother]982-her brother did not allow a word , a look , or an incident , which might be supposed on [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's side to refer to [Ruth]81-ruth , to pass unnoticed ; [he]982-her brother pointed out all to [[his]982-her brother sister]4508-his sister , never dreaming of the torture [he]982-her brother was inflicting , only anxious to prove [his]982-her brother own extreme penetration . At length [Jemima]217-jemima could stand it no longer , and left [the room]357-the room . [She]217-jemima went into [the schoolroom]2601-the schoolroom , where the shutters were not closed , as [it]6111-it only looked into [the garden]783-the garden . [She]217-jemima opened the window , to let the cool night air blow in on [her]217-jemima hot cheeks . The clouds were hurrying over the moon 's face in a tempestuous and unstable manner , making all things seem unreal ; now clear out in its bright light , now trembling and quivering in shadow . The pain at [her]217-jemima heart seemed to make [Jemima]217-jemima 's brain grow dull ; [she]217-jemima laid [her]217-jemima head on [her]217-jemima arms , which rested on the window - sill , and grew dizzy with the sick weary notion that [the earth]843-the earth was wandering lawless and aimless through the heavens , where all seemed one tossed and whirling wrack of clouds . It was a waking nightmare , from the uneasy heaviness of which [she]217-jemima was thankful to be roused by [Dick]214-dick 's entrance . "[3200-his] What , [you]3205-you are here , are [you]3205-you ? [I]0-i have been looking everywhere for [you]3205-you . [I]0-i wanted to ask [you]3205-you if [you]3205-you have any spare money [you]3205-you could lend [me]0-i for a few weeks ? " "[0-i] How much do [you]3205-you want ? " asked [Jemima]217-jemima , in a dull , hopeless voice . "[0-i] Oh ! the more the better . But [I]0-i should be glad of any trifle , [I]0-i am kept so confoundedly short . " When [Jemima]217-jemima returned with [[her]217-jemima little store]6114-her little store , even [[her]217-jemima careless , selfish brother]6115-her careless , selfish brother was struck by the wanness of [her]217-jemima face , lighted by the bed - candle [she]217-jemima carried . "[208-mimie] Come , [Mimie]208-mimie , do n't give it up . If [I]0-i were [you]3205-you , [I]0-i would have a good try against [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . [I]0-i 'll send [you]3205-you the bonnet as soon as ever [I]0-i get back to [town]666-town , and [you]3205-you pluck up a spirit , and [I]0-i 'll back [you]3205-you against [her]156-mrs denbigh even yet . " It seemed to [Jemima]217-jemima strange -- and yet only a fitting part of [this strange , chaotic world]6116-this strange , chaotic world -- to find that [[her]217-jemima brother]982-her brother , who was [the last person to whom [she]217-jemima could have given [her]217-jemima confidence in [[her]217-jemima own family]2423-her own family , and almost [the last person of [her]217-jemima acquaintance to whom [she]217-jemima could look for real help and sympathy]6120-the last person of her acquaintance to whom she could look for real help and sympathy , should have been [the only one to hit upon the secret of [her]217-jemima love]6121-the only one to hit upon the secret of her love]6118-the last person to whom she could have given her confidence in her own family , and almost the last person of her acquaintance to whom she could look for real help and sympathy , should have been the only one to hit upon the secret of her love . And the idea passed away from [his]982-her brother mind as quickly as all ideas not bearing upon [his]982-her brother own self - interests did . The night , the sleepless night , was so crowded and haunted by miserable images , that [she]217-jemima longed for day ; and when day came , with its stinging realities , [she]217-jemima wearied and grew sick for the solitude of night . For the next week , [she]217-jemima seemed to see and hear nothing but what confirmed the idea of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's decided attachment to [Ruth]81-ruth . Even [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother spoke of it as a thing which was impending , and which [she]710-her mother wondered how [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw would like ; for [his]149-mr bradshaw approval or disapproval was the standard by which [she]710-her mother measured all things . "[0-i] Oh ! merciful [God]104-leonard , " prayed [Jemima]217-jemima , in the dead silence of the night , "[104-leonard] the strain is too great -- [I]0-i can not bear it longer -- [my]0-i life -- [[my]0-i love]4345-my love -- the very essence of [me]0-i , which is [myself]0-i through time and eternity ; and on the other side there is all - pitying [Charity]248-charity . If [she]3208-she had not been what [she]3208-she is -- if [she]3208-she had shown any sign of triumph -- any knowledge of [her]3208-she prize -- if [she]3208-she had made any effort to gain [his]3209-his dear heart , [I]0-i must have given way long ago , and taunted [her]3208-she , even if [I]0-i did not tell [others]368-others -- taunted [her]3208-she , even though [I]0-i sank down to the pit the next moment . " The temptation is too strong for [me]0-i . Oh [Lord]6123-lord ! where is [Thy]6124-thy peace that [I]0-i believed in , in [my]0-i childhood?--that [I]0-i hear [people]322-people speaking of now , as if it hushed up the troubles of life , and had not to be sought for -- sought for , as with tears of blood ! "[0-i] There was no sound nor sight in answer to this wild imploring cry , which [Jemima]217-jemima half thought must force out a sign from Heaven . But there was a dawn stealing on through the darkness of [her]217-jemima night . It was glorious weather for the end of August . The nights were as full of light as the days -- everywhere , save in [the low dusky meadows by [the river - side]3212-the river - side , where the mists rose and blended the pale sky with [the lands below]3213-the lands below]3211-the low dusky meadows by the river - side , where the mists rose and blended the pale sky with the lands below . Unknowing of the care and trouble around [them]3214-they , [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth exulted in the weather , and saw some new glory in every touch of the year 's decay . [They]3214-they were clamorous for an expedition to [the hills]1242-the hills , before the calm stillness of the autumn should be disturbed by storms . [They]3214-they gained permission to go on the next Wednesday -- the next half - holiday . [They]3214-they had won [[their]3214-they mother]2532-their mother over to consent to a full holiday , but [[their]3214-they father]2183-their father would not hear of it . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw had proposed an early dinner , but the idea was scouted at by [the girls]414-the girls . What would the expedition be worth if [they]3214-they did not carry [their]3214-they dinners with [them]3214-they in baskets ? Anything out of a basket , and eaten in the open air , was worth twenty times as much as the most sumptuous meal in [the house]426-the house . So the baskets were packed up , while [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw wailed over probable colds to be caught from sitting on the damp ground . [Ruth]81-ruth and [Leonard]104-leonard were to go ; [they]414-the girls four . [Jemima]217-jemima had refused all invitations to make one of the party ; and yet [she]217-jemima had a half - sympathy with [[her]217-jemima sisters]2576-her sisters ' joy -- a sort of longing , lingering look back to the time when [she]217-jemima too would have revelled in the prospect that lay before [them]414-the girls . [They]414-the girls , too , would grow up , and suffer ; though now [they]414-the girls played , regardless of [their]414-the girls doom . The morning was bright and glorious ; just cloud enough , as [some one]378-some one said , to make [the distant plain]3222-the distant plain look beautiful from [the hills]1242-the hills , with [its]3222-the distant plain floating shadows passing over [the golden corn - fields]3224-the golden corn - fields . [Leonard]104-leonard was to join [them]414-the girls at twelve , when [his]104-leonard lessons with [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , and [the girls]414-the girls ' with [[their]414-the girls masters]5232-their masters , should be over . [Ruth]81-ruth took off [her]81-ruth bonnet , and folded [her]81-ruth shawl with [her]81-ruth usual dainty , careful neatness , and laid them aside in a corner of [the room]357-the room to be in readiness . [She]81-ruth tried to forget the pleasure [she]81-ruth always anticipated from a long walk towards [the hills]1242-the hills , while the morning 's work went on ; but [she]81-ruth showed enough of sympathy to make [the girls]414-the girls cling round [her]81-ruth with many a caress of joyous love . Everything was beautiful in [their]414-the girls eyes ; from the shadows of the quivering leaves on the wall to the glittering beads of dew , not yet absorbed by the sun , which decked the gossamer web in the vine outside the window . Eleven o'clock struck . [The Latin master]3230-the latin master went away , wondering much at the radiant faces of [[his]3230-the latin master pupils]2151-his pupils , and thinking that it was [only very young people who could take such pleasure in the " Delectus]6126-only very young people who could take such pleasure in the " delectus . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth said , " Now , do let [us]414-the girls try to be very steady this next hour , "[81-ruth] and [Mary]118-mary pulled back [Ruth]81-ruth 's head , and gave the pretty budding mouth a kiss . [They]414-the girls sat down to work , while [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh read aloud . A fresh sun - gleam burst into [the room]357-the room , and [they]414-the girls looked at [each other]579-each other with glad , anticipating eyes . [Jemima]217-jemima came in , ostensibly to seek for a book , but really from that sort of restless weariness of any one place or employment , which had taken possession of [her]217-jemima since [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's return . [She]217-jemima stood before the bookcase in the recess , languidly passing over the titles in search of the one [she]217-jemima wanted . [Ruth]81-ruth 's voice lost a tone or two of its peacefulness , and [her]81-ruth eyes looked more dim and anxious at [Jemima]217-jemima 's presence . [She]81-ruth wondered in [her]81-ruth heart if [she]81-ruth dared to ask [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw to accompany [them]414-the girls in [their]414-the girls expedition . Eighteen months ago [she]81-ruth would have urged it on [[her]81-ruth friend]431-her friend with soft , loving entreaty ; now [she]81-ruth was afraid even to propose it as a hard possibility ; everything [she]81-ruth did or said was taken so wrongly -- seemed to add to the old dislike , or the later stony contempt with which [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw had regarded [her]81-ruth . While [they]414-the girls were in this way [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw came into [the room]357-the room . [His]149-mr bradshaw entrance -- [his]149-mr bradshaw being at [home]4124-home at all at this time -- was so unusual a thing , that the reading was instantly stopped ; and all four involuntarily looked at [him]149-mr bradshaw , as if expecting some explanation of [his]149-mr bradshaw unusual proceeding . [His]149-mr bradshaw face was almost purple with suppressed agitation . " [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , leave [the room]357-the room . Do n't stay to pack up [your]3237-the frightened girls books . Leave [the room]357-the room , [I]149-mr bradshaw say ! "[149-mr bradshaw] [He]149-mr bradshaw spoke with trembling anger , and [the frightened girls]3237-the frightened girls obeyed without a word . A cloud passing over the sun cast a cold gloom into [the room]357-the room which was late so bright and beaming ; but , by equalising the light , it took away the dark shadow from the place where [Jemima]217-jemima had been standing , and [her]217-jemima figure caught [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's eye . " Leave [the room]357-the room , [Jemima]217-jemima , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw . " Why , [father]4711-father ? "[217-jemima] replied [she]217-jemima , in an opposition that was strange even to [herself]217-jemima , but which was prompted by the sullen passion which seethed below the stagnant surface of [her]217-jemima life , and which sought a vent in defiance . [She]217-jemima maintained [her]217-jemima ground , facing round upon [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father , and [Ruth]81-ruth -- [Ruth]81-ruth , who had risen , and stood trembling , shaking , a lightning - fear having shown [her]81-ruth the precipice on which [she]81-ruth stood . It was of no use ; no quiet , innocent life -- no profound silence , even to [her]81-ruth own heart , as to the Past ; the old offence could never be drowned in [the Deep]61-the deep ; but thus , when all was calm on [the great , broad , sunny sea]3241-the great , broad , sunny sea , [it]3241-the great , broad , sunny sea rose to the surface , and faced [her]217-jemima with [its]3241-the great , broad , sunny sea unclosed eyes and its ghastly countenance . The blood bubbled up to [her]217-jemima brain , and made such a sound there , as of boiling waters , that [she]217-jemima did not hear the words which [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw first spoke ; indeed , [his]149-mr bradshaw speech was broken and disjointed by intense passion . But [she]217-jemima needed not to hear ; [she]217-jemima knew . As [she]217-jemima rose up at first , so [she]217-jemima stood now -- numb and helpless . When [her]217-jemima ears heard again ( as if the sounds were drawing nearer , and becoming more distinct , from some faint , vague distance of space ) , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was saying , " If there be one sin [I]3242-i hate -- [I]3242-i utterly loathe -- more than all others , it is wantonness . It includes all other sins . It is but of a piece that [you]217-jemima should have come with [your]217-jemima sickly , hypocritical face , imposing upon [us]6131-us all . [I]3242-i trust [Benson]143-mr benson did not know of it -- for [his]143-mr benson own sake , [I]3242-i trust not . Before [God]104-leonard , if [he]143-mr benson got [you]217-jemima into [[my]3242-i house]4340-my house on false pretences , [he]143-mr benson shall find [his]143-mr benson charity at [other men]6133-other men 's expense shall cost [him]143-mr benson dear -- [you]217-jemima -- the common talk of [Eccleston]222-eccleston for [your]217-jemima profligacy-- "[3242-i] [He]3242-i was absolutely choked by [his]3242-i boiling indignation . [Ruth]81-ruth stood speechless , motionless . [Her]81-ruth head drooped a little forward , [her]81-ruth eyes were more than half veiled by the large quivering lids , [her]81-ruth arms hung down straight and heavy . At last [she]81-ruth heaved the weight off [her]81-ruth heart enough to say , in a faint , moaning voice , speaking with infinite difficulty : " [I]81-ruth was so young . "[81-ruth] " The more depraved , the more disgusting [you]217-jemima , "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw exclaimed , almost glad that [the woman]5598-the woman , unresisting so long , should now begin to resist . But to [his]149-mr bradshaw surprise ( for in [his]149-mr bradshaw anger [he]149-mr bradshaw had forgotten [her]5598-the woman presence ) [Jemima]217-jemima moved forwards , and said , " [Father]249-father ! "[217-jemima] " [You]217-jemima hold [your]217-jemima tongue , [Jemima]217-jemima . [You]217-jemima have grown more and more insolent -- more and more disobedient every day . [I]217-jemima now know who to thank for it . When [such a woman]6134-such a woman came into [[my]217-jemima family]6135-my family there is no wonder at any corruption -- any evil -- any defilement-- "[217-jemima] " [Father]4711-father ! "[217-jemima] " Not a word ! If , in [your]217-jemima disobedience , [you]217-jemima choose to stay and hear what [no modest young woman]6137-no modest young woman would put [herself]6137-no modest young woman in the way of hearing , [you]217-jemima shall be silent when [I]81-ruth bid [you]217-jemima . The only good [you]217-jemima can gain is in the way of warning . Look at [that woman]6138-that woman "[81-ruth] ( indicating [Ruth]81-ruth , who moved [her]81-ruth drooping head a little on one side , as if by such motion [she]81-ruth could avert the pitiless pointing -- [her]81-ruth face growing whiter and whiter still every instant)--"look at [that woman]6138-that woman , [I]3244-i say -- corrupt long before [she]6138-that woman was [your]217-jemima age -- hypocrite for years ! If ever [you]217-jemima , or [any child of mine]6140-any child of mine , cared for [her]6138-that woman , shake [her]6138-that woman off from [you]217-jemima , as [St Paul]250-st paul shook off the viper -- even into the fire . "[3244-i] [He]3244-i stopped for very want of breath . [Jemima]217-jemima , all flushed and panting , went up and stood side by side with [wan Ruth]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth took the cold , dead hand which hung next to [her]81-ruth in [her]81-ruth warm convulsive grasp , and holding it so tight that it was blue and discoloured for days , [she]81-ruth spoke out beyond all power of restraint from [[her]81-ruth father]411-her father . " [Father]249-father , [I]81-ruth will speak . [I]81-ruth will not keep silence . [I]81-ruth will bear witness to [Ruth]81-ruth . [I]81-ruth have hated [her]81-ruth -- so keenly , may [God]104-leonard forgive [me]81-ruth ! but [you]249-father may know , from that , that [my]81-ruth witness is true . [I]81-ruth have hated [her]81-ruth , and [my]81-ruth hatred was only quenched into contempt -- not contempt now , [dear [Ruth]81-ruth]6141-dear ruth -- dear [Ruth"--(this]251-ruth"--(this[81-ruth] was spoken with infinite softness and tenderness , and in spite of [[her]81-ruth father]411-her father 's fierce eyes and passionate gesture)--"I heard what [you]249-father have learnt now , [father]4711-father , weeks and weeks ago -- a year it may be , all time of late has been so long ; and [I]3247-i shuddered up from [her]81-ruth and from [her]81-ruth sin ; and [I]3247-i might have spoken of it , and told it there and then , if [I]3247-i had not been afraid that it was from no good motive [I]3247-i should act in so doing , but to gain a way to the desire of [my]3247-i own jealous heart . Yes , [father]4711-father , to show [you]4711-father what [a witness]6144-a witness [I]3247-i am for [Ruth]81-ruth , [I]3247-i will own that [I]3247-i was stabbed to the heart with jealousy ; [some one]378-some one -- [some one]378-some one cared for [Ruth]81-ruth that -- oh , [father]4711-father ! spare [me]3247-i saying all . "[3247-i] [Her]3247-i face was double - dyed with crimson blushes , and [she]3247-i paused for one moment -- no more . " [I]3247-i watched [her]81-ruth , and [I]3247-i watched [her]81-ruth with [my]3247-i wild - beast eyes . If [I]3247-i had seen [one paltering with duty]6148-one paltering with duty -- if [I]3247-i had witnessed one flickering shadow of untruth in word or action -- if , more than all things , [[my]3247-i woman]6149-my woman 's instinct had ever been conscious of the faintest speck of impurity in thought , or word , or look , [my]3247-i old hate would have flamed out with the flame of hell ! [my]3247-i contempt would have turned to loathing disgust , instead of [my]3247-i being full of pity , and the stirrings of new - awakened love , and most true respect . [Father]249-father , [I]3247-i have borne [my]3247-i witness ! "[3247-i] " And [I]411-her father will tell [you]3248-you how much [[your]3248-you witness]6150-your witness is worth , "[411-her father] said [[her]3248-you father]411-her father , beginning low , that [his]411-her father pent - up wrath might have room to swell out . " It only convinces [me]411-her father more and more how deep is the corruption [this wanton]6151-this wanton has spread in [[my]411-her father family]6135-my family . [She]6149-my woman has come amongst [us]6135-my family with [her]6149-my woman innocent seeming , and spread [her]6149-my woman nets well and skilfully . [She]6149-my woman has turned right into wrong , and wrong into right , and taught [you]3248-you all to be uncertain whether there be any such thing as Vice in [the world]506-the world , or whether it ought not to be looked upon as Virtue . [She]6149-my woman has led [you]3248-you to the brink of [the deep pit]6154-the deep pit , ready for the first chance circumstance to push [you]3248-you in . And [I]411-her father trusted [her]6149-my woman -- [I]411-her father trusted [her]6149-my woman -- [I]411-her father welcomed [her]6149-my woman . "[411-her father] " [I]81-ruth have done very wrong , "[81-ruth] murmured [Ruth]81-ruth , but so low , that perhaps [he]3250-he did not hear [her]81-ruth , for [he]3250-he went on , lashing [himself]3250-he up . " [I]3250-he welcomed [her]6149-my woman . [I]3250-he was duped into allowing [her]6149-my woman bastard--(I sicken at the thought of it)-- "[3250-he] At the mention of [Leonard]104-leonard , [Ruth]81-ruth lifted up [her]81-ruth eyes for the first time since the conversation began , the pupils dilating , as if [she]81-ruth were just becoming aware of some new agony in store for [her]81-ruth . [I]0-i have seen such a look of terror on [a poor dumb animal]3251-a poor dumb animal 's countenance , and once or twice on human faces . [I]0-i pray [I]0-i may never see it again on either ! [Jemima]217-jemima felt the hand [she]81-ruth held in [her]81-ruth strong grasp writhe itself free . [Ruth]81-ruth spread [her]81-ruth arms before [her]81-ruth , clasping and lacing [her]81-ruth fingers together , [her]81-ruth head thrown a little back , as if in intensest suffering . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw went on : " [That very child]6155-that very child and [heir of shame]6156-heir of shame to associate with [[my]149-mr bradshaw own innocent children]6157-my own innocent children ! [I]149-mr bradshaw trust [they]6157-my own innocent children are not contaminated . "[149-mr bradshaw] " [I]149-mr bradshaw can not bear it -- [I]149-mr bradshaw can not bear it ! "[149-mr bradshaw] were the words wrung out of [Ruth]81-ruth . " Can not bear it ! can not bear it ! "[149-mr bradshaw] [he]149-mr bradshaw repeated . " [You]81-ruth must bear it , [madam]4543-madam . Do [you]81-ruth suppose [[your]81-ruth child]4796-your child is to be exempt from the penalties of [his]4796-your child birth ? Do [you]81-ruth suppose that [he]4796-your child alone is to be saved from the upbraiding scoff ? Do [you]81-ruth suppose that [he]4796-your child is ever to rank with [other boys , who are not stained and marked with sin]6160-other boys , who are not stained and marked with sin from [their]6160-other boys , who are not stained and marked with sin birth ? [Every creature in [Eccleston]222-eccleston]6161-every creature in eccleston may know what [he]4796-your child is ; do [you]81-ruth think [they]6161-every creature in eccleston will spare [him]4796-your child [their]6161-every creature in eccleston scorn ? ' Can not bear it , ' indeed ! Before [you]81-ruth went into [your]81-ruth sin , [you]81-ruth should have thought whether [you]81-ruth could bear the consequences or not -- have had some idea how far [[your]81-ruth offspring]6162-your offspring would be degraded and scouted , till the best thing that could happen to [him]4796-your child would be for [him]4796-your child to be lost to all sense of shame , dead to all knowledge of guilt , for [[his]4796-your child mother]655-his mother 's sake . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Ruth]81-ruth spoke out . [She]81-ruth stood like a wild creature at bay , past fear now . " [I]81-ruth appeal to [God]104-leonard against such a doom for [[my]81-ruth child]5259-my child . [I]81-ruth appeal to [God]104-leonard to help [me]81-ruth . [I]81-ruth am [a mother]1536-a mother , and as such [I]81-ruth cry to [God]104-leonard for help -- for help to keep [[my]81-ruth boy]3052-my boy in [His]3052-my boy pitying sight , and to bring [him]3052-my boy up in [His]3052-my boy holy fear . Let the shame fall on [me]81-ruth ! [I]81-ruth have deserved it , but [he]3052-my boy -- [he]3052-my boy is so innocent and good . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth had caught up [her]81-ruth shawl , and was tying on [her]81-ruth bonnet with [her]81-ruth trembling hands . What if [Leonard]104-leonard was hearing of [her]81-ruth shame from common report ? What would be the mysterious shock of the intelligence ? [She]81-ruth must face [him]104-leonard , and see the look in [his]104-leonard eyes , before [she]81-ruth knew whether [he]104-leonard recoiled from [her]81-ruth ; [he]104-leonard might have [his]104-leonard heart turned to hate [her]81-ruth , by [their]3252-their cruel jeers . [Jemima]217-jemima stood by , dumb and pitying . [Her]81-ruth sorrow was past [her]81-ruth power . [She]81-ruth helped in arranging the dress , with one or two gentle touches , which were hardly felt by [Ruth]81-ruth , but which called out all [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's ire afresh ; [he]149-mr bradshaw absolutely took [her]81-ruth by the shoulders and turned [her]81-ruth by force out of [the room]357-the room . In [the hall]2496-the hall , and along the stairs , [her]81-ruth passionate woeful crying was heard . The sound only concentrated [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's anger on [Ruth]81-ruth . [He]149-mr bradshaw held the street - door open wide , and said , between [his]149-mr bradshaw teeth , " If ever [you]81-ruth , or [[your]81-ruth bastard]6167-your bastard , darken this door again , [I]149-mr bradshaw will have [you]81-ruth both turned out by [the police]6168-the police ! "[149-mr bradshaw] [He]149-mr bradshaw need not have added this , if [he]149-mr bradshaw had seen [Ruth]81-ruth 's face . CHAPTER XXVII Preparing to Stand on [the Truth]62-the truth As [Ruth]81-ruth went along [the accustomed streets]3255-the accustomed streets , every sight and every sound seemed to bear a new meaning , and each and all to have some reference to [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy 's disgrace . [She]81-ruth held [her]81-ruth head down , and scudded along dizzy with fear , lest some word should have told [him]149-mr bradshaw what [she]81-ruth had been , and what [he]149-mr bradshaw was , before [she]81-ruth could reach [him]149-mr bradshaw . It was a wild , unreasoning fear , but it took hold of [her]81-ruth as strongly as if it had been well founded . And , indeed , the secret whispered by [Mrs Pearson]240-mrs pearson , whose curiosity and suspicion had been excited by [Jemima]217-jemima 's manner , and confirmed since by many a little corroborating circumstance , had spread abroad , and was known to most of [the gossips in [Eccleston]36-eccleston]3257-the gossips in eccleston before it reached [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's ears . As [Ruth]81-ruth came up to the door of [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house , it was opened , and [Leonard]104-leonard came out , bright and hopeful as the morning , [his]104-leonard face radiant at the prospect of the happy day before [him]104-leonard . [He]104-leonard was dressed in the clothes it had been such a pleasant pride to [her]81-ruth to make for [him]104-leonard . [He]104-leonard had the dark blue ribbon tied round [his]104-leonard neck that [she]81-ruth had left out for [him]104-leonard that very morning , with a smiling thought of how it would set off [his]104-leonard brown , handsome face . [She]81-ruth caught [him]104-leonard by the hand as [they]3259-they met , and turned [him]104-leonard , with [his]104-leonard face homewards , without a word . [Her]81-ruth looks , [her]81-ruth rushing movement , [her]81-ruth silence , awed [him]104-leonard ; and although [he]104-leonard wondered , [he]104-leonard did not stay to ask why [she]81-ruth did so . The door was on the latch ; [she]81-ruth opened it , and only said , " [Upstairs]1186-upstairs , "[81-ruth] in a hoarse whisper . Up [they]3259-they went into [[her]81-ruth own room]2447-her own room . [She]81-ruth drew [him]104-leonard in , and bolted the door ; and then , sitting down , [she]81-ruth placed [him]104-leonard ( [she]81-ruth had never let go of [him]104-leonard ) before [her]81-ruth , holding [him]104-leonard with [her]81-ruth hands on each of [his]104-leonard shoulders , and gazing into [his]104-leonard face with a woeful look of the agony that could not find vent in words . At last [she]81-ruth tried to speak ; [she]81-ruth tried with strong bodily effort , almost amounting to convulsion . But the words would not come ; it was not till [she]81-ruth saw the absolute terror depicted on [his]104-leonard face that [she]81-ruth found utterance ; and then the sight of that terror changed the words from what [she]81-ruth meant them to have been . [She]81-ruth drew [him]104-leonard to [her]81-ruth , and laid [her]81-ruth head upon [his]104-leonard shoulder ; hiding [her]81-ruth face even there . " [[My]81-ruth poor , poor boy]6170-my poor , poor boy ! [[my]81-ruth poor , poor darling]6171-my poor , poor darling ! Oh ! would that [I]81-ruth had died -- [I]81-ruth had died , in [my]81-ruth innocent girlhood ! "[81-ruth] " [Mother]139-mother ! [mother]4127-mother ! "[104-leonard] sobbed [Leonard]104-leonard . " What is the matter ? Why do [you]4127-mother look so wild and ill ? Why do [you]4127-mother call [me]104-leonard [[your]4127-mother ' poor boy]6173-your ' poor boy ' ? Are [we]6174-we not going to [Scaurside - hill]63-scaurside - hill ? [I]104-leonard do n't much mind it , [mother]4127-mother ; only please do n't gasp and quiver so . [Dearest mother]6176-dearest mother , are [you]4127-mother ill ? Let [me]104-leonard call [Aunt Faith]252-aunt faith ! "[104-leonard] [Ruth]81-ruth lifted [herself]81-ruth up , and put away the hair that had fallen over and was blinding [her]81-ruth eyes . [She]81-ruth looked at [him]104-leonard with intense wistfulness . " Kiss [me]81-ruth , [Leonard]104-leonard ! "[81-ruth] said she--"kiss [me]104-leonard , [[my]104-leonard darling]4347-my darling , once more in the old way ! "[104-leonard] [Leonard]104-leonard threw [himself]104-leonard into [her]81-ruth arms and hugged [her]81-ruth with all [his]104-leonard force , and [their]3261-their lips clung together as in the kiss given to [the dying]3262-the dying . " [Leonard]104-leonard ! "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth at length , holding [him]104-leonard away from [her]81-ruth , and nerving [herself]81-ruth up to tell [him]104-leonard all by one spasmodic effort--"listen to [me]4189-the boy . "[4189-the boy] [The boy]4189-the boy stood breathless and still , gazing at [her]81-ruth . On [her]81-ruth impetuous transit from [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's to [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house]3264-mr bradshaw 's to the chapel - house , [her]81-ruth wild , desperate thought had been that [she]81-ruth would call [herself]81-ruth by every violent , coarse name which [the world]506-the world might give [her]81-ruth -- that [Leonard]104-leonard should hear those words applied to [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother first from [her]81-ruth own lips ; but the influence of [his]104-leonard presence -- for [he]104-leonard was a holy and sacred creature in [her]81-ruth eyes , and this point remained steadfast , though all the rest were upheaved -- subdued [her]81-ruth ; and now it seemed as if [she]81-ruth could not find words fine enough , and pure enough , to convey the truth that [he]104-leonard must learn , and should learn from no tongue but [hers]81-ruth . " [Leonard]104-leonard -- when [I]81-ruth was very young [I]81-ruth did very wrong . [I]81-ruth think [God]104-leonard , who knows all , will judge [me]81-ruth more tenderly than [men]836-men -- but [I]81-ruth did wrong in a way which [you]104-leonard can not understand yet "[81-ruth] ( [she]81-ruth saw the red flush come into [his]104-leonard cheek , and it stung [her]81-ruth as the first token of that shame which was to be [his]104-leonard portion through life)--"in a way [people]322-people never forget , never forgive . [You]104-leonard will hear [me]81-ruth called the hardest names that ever can be thrown at [women]4167-women -- [I]81-ruth have been , to - day ; and , [[my]81-ruth child]5259-my child , [you]104-leonard must bear it patiently , because [they]6182-they will be partly true . Never get confused , by [your]104-leonard love for [me]81-ruth , into thinking that what [I]81-ruth did was right.--Where was [I]81-ruth ? "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , suddenly faltering , and forgetting all [she]81-ruth had said and all [she]81-ruth had got to say ; and then , seeing [Leonard]104-leonard 's face of wonder , and burning shame and indignation , [she]81-ruth went on more rapidly , as fearing lest [her]81-ruth strength should fail before [she]81-ruth had ended . " And , [Leonard]104-leonard , "[81-ruth] continued [she]81-ruth , in a trembling , sad voice , " this is not all . The punishment of punishments lies awaiting [me]81-ruth still . It is to see [you]104-leonard suffer for [my]81-ruth wrongdoing . Yes , [darling]4344-darling ! [they]6182-they will speak shameful things of [you]104-leonard , [poor innocent child]6184-poor innocent child ! as well as of [me]81-ruth , who am guilty . [They]6182-they will throw it in [your]104-leonard teeth through life , that [[your]104-leonard mother]4264-your mother was never married -- was not married when [you]104-leonard were born-- "[81-ruth] " Were not [you]104-leonard married ? Are not [you]3269-her [a widow]675-a widow ? "[3268-he] asked [he]3268-he abruptly , for the first time getting anything like a clear idea of the real state of the case . " No ! May [God]104-leonard forgive [me]3269-her , and help [me]3269-her ! "[3269-her] exclaimed [she]3269-her , as [she]3269-her saw a strange look of repugnance cloud over [the boy]4189-the boy 's face , and felt a slight motion on [his]3268-he part to extricate [himself]3268-he from [her]3269-her hold . It was as slight , as transient as it could be -- over in an instant . But [she]3269-her had taken [her]3269-her hands away , and covered up [her]3269-her face with them as quickly -- covered up [her]3269-her face in shame before [[her]3269-her child]631-her child ; and in the bitterness of [her]3269-her heart [she]3269-her was wailing out , " Oh , would to [God]104-leonard [I]3269-her had died -- that [I]3269-her had died as [a baby]4677-a baby -- that [I]3269-her had died as [a little baby hanging at [[my]3269-her mother]4247-my mother 's breast]6188-a little baby hanging at my mother 's breast ! "[3269-her] " [Mother]139-mother , "[104-leonard] said [Leonard]104-leonard , timidly putting [his]104-leonard hand on [her]3269-her arm ; but [she]3269-her shrunk from [him]104-leonard , and continued [her]3269-her low , passionate wailing . " [Mother]139-mother , "[104-leonard] said [he]104-leonard , after a pause , coming nearer , though [she]3269-her saw it not--"mammy darling , "[104-leonard] said [he]104-leonard , using the caressing name , which [he]104-leonard had been trying to drop as not sufficiently manly , " mammy , [my]104-leonard own , [own dear]6190-own dear , dear , [darling mother]6191-darling mother , [I]104-leonard do n't believe [them]6192-them -- [I]104-leonard do n't , [I]104-leonard do n't , [I]104-leonard do n't , [I]104-leonard do n't ! "[104-leonard] [He]104-leonard broke out into a wild burst of crying as [he]104-leonard said this . In a moment [her]3269-her arms were round [the poor boy]3272-the poor boy , and [she]3269-her was hushing [him]3272-the poor boy up like [a baby on [her]3269-her bosom]3273-a baby on her bosom . " Hush , [Leonard]104-leonard ! [Leonard]104-leonard , be still , [[my]3269-her child]5259-my child ! [I]3269-her have been too sudden with you!--I have done [you]104-leonard harm -- oh ! [I]3269-her have done [you]104-leonard nothing but harm , "[3269-her] cried [she]3269-her , in a tone of bitter self - reproach . " No , [mother]4127-mother , "[104-leonard] said [he]104-leonard , stopping [his]104-leonard tears , and [his]104-leonard eyes blazing out with earnestness ; " there never was such [a mother]1536-a mother as [you]104-leonard have been to [me]104-leonard , and [I]104-leonard wo n't believe [any one who says it]6196-any one who says it . [I]104-leonard wo n't ; and [I]104-leonard 'll knock [them]6197-them down if [they]6197-them say it again , [I]104-leonard will ! "[104-leonard] [He]104-leonard clenched [his]104-leonard fist , with a fierce , defiant look on [his]104-leonard face . " [You]104-leonard forget , [[my]81-ruth child]5259-my child , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , in the sweetest , saddest tone that ever was heard , " [I]81-ruth said it of [myself]81-ruth ; [I]81-ruth said it because it was true . "[81-ruth] [Leonard]104-leonard threw [his]104-leonard arms tight round [her]81-ruth , and hid [his]104-leonard face against [her]81-ruth bosom . [She]81-ruth felt [him]104-leonard pant there like [some hunted creature]3274-some hunted creature . [She]81-ruth had no soothing comfort to give [him]104-leonard . " Oh , that [she]81-ruth and [he]104-leonard lay dead ! "[81-ruth] At last , exhausted , [he]104-leonard lay so still and motionless , that [she]81-ruth feared to look . [She]81-ruth wanted [him]104-leonard to speak , yet dreaded [his]104-leonard first words . [She]81-ruth kissed [his]104-leonard hair , [his]104-leonard head , [his]104-leonard very clothes , murmuring low , inarticulate , moaning sounds . " [Leonard]104-leonard , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , " [Leonard]104-leonard , look up at [me]81-ruth ! [Leonard]104-leonard , look up ! "[81-ruth] But [he]104-leonard only clung the closer , and hid [his]104-leonard face the more . " [[My]81-ruth boy]3052-my boy ! "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , " what can [I]81-ruth do or say ? If [I]81-ruth tell [you]3052-my boy never to mind it -- that it is nothing -- [I]81-ruth tell [you]3052-my boy false . It is a bitter shame and a sorrow that [I]81-ruth have drawn down upon [you]3052-my boy . A shame , [Leonard]104-leonard , because of [me]81-ruth , [[your]3052-my boy mother]4264-your mother ; but , [Leonard]104-leonard , it is no disgrace or lowering of [you]3052-my boy in the eyes of [God]104-leonard . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth spoke now as if [she]81-ruth had found the clue which might lead [him]104-leonard to rest and strength at last . " Remember that , always . Remember that , when the time of trial comes -- and it seems a hard and cruel thing that [you]3052-my boy should be called reproachful names by [men]836-men , and all for what was no fault of [yours]3052-my boy -- remember [God]104-leonard 's pity and [God]104-leonard 's justice ; and though [my]81-ruth sin shall have made [you]3052-my boy [an outcast in [the world]506-the world]6202-an outcast in the world -- oh , [[my]81-ruth child]5259-my child , [my]81-ruth child!"--(she[81-ruth] felt [him]104-leonard kiss [her]81-ruth , as if mutely trying to comfort [her]81-ruth -- it gave [her]81-ruth strength to go on)--"remember , darling of [my]104-leonard heart , it is only [your]3052-my boy own sin that can make [you]3052-my boy [an outcast]1413-an outcast from [God]104-leonard . "[104-leonard] [She]81-ruth grew so faint that [her]81-ruth hold of [him]104-leonard relaxed . [He]104-leonard looked up affrighted . [He]104-leonard brought [her]81-ruth water -- [he]104-leonard threw it over [her]81-ruth ; in [his]104-leonard terror at the notion that [she]81-ruth was going to die and leave [him]104-leonard , [he]104-leonard called [her]81-ruth by every fond name , imploring [her]81-ruth to open [her]81-ruth eyes . When [she]81-ruth partially recovered , [he]104-leonard helped [her]81-ruth to the bed , on which [she]81-ruth lay still , wan and death - like . [She]81-ruth almost hoped the swoon that hung around [her]81-ruth might be Death , and in that imagination [she]81-ruth opened [her]81-ruth eyes to take a last look at [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy . [She]81-ruth saw [him]2051-her boy pale and terror - stricken ; and pity for [his]2051-her boy affright roused [her]81-ruth , and made [her]81-ruth forget [herself]81-ruth in the wish that [he]104-leonard should not see [her]81-ruth death , if [she]81-ruth were indeed dying . " Go to [Aunt Faith]252-aunt faith ! "[81-ruth] whispered [she]81-ruth ; " [I]81-ruth am weary , and want sleep . "[81-ruth] [Leonard]104-leonard arose slowly and reluctantly . [She]81-ruth tried to smile upon [him]104-leonard , that what [she]81-ruth thought would be [her]81-ruth last look might dwell in [his]104-leonard remembrance as tender and strong ; [she]81-ruth watched [him]104-leonard to the door ; [she]81-ruth saw [him]104-leonard hesitate , and return to [her]81-ruth . [He]104-leonard came back to [her]81-ruth , and said in a timid , apprehensive tone : " [Mother]139-mother -- will _ [they]3276-they _ speak to [me]104-leonard about -- it ? "[104-leonard] [Ruth]81-ruth closed [her]81-ruth eyes , that [they]3276-they might not express the agony [she]81-ruth felt , like a sharp knife , at this question . [Leonard]104-leonard had asked it with [a child]556-a child 's desire of avoiding painful and mysterious topics,--from no personal sense of shame as [she]81-ruth understood it , shame beginning thus early , thus instantaneously . " No , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth replied . " [You]139-mother may be sure [they]3276-they will not . "[81-ruth] So [he]104-leonard went . But now [she]81-ruth would have been thankful for the unconsciousness of fainting ; that one little speech bore so much meaning to [her]81-ruth hot , irritable brain . [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson , all in [[their]3278-their house]2740-their house , would never speak to [the boy]4189-the boy -- but in [[his]4189-the boy home]4184-his home alone would [he]4189-the boy be safe from what [he]4189-the boy had already learnt to dread . Every form in which shame and opprobrium could overwhelm [[her]81-ruth darling]1704-her darling , haunted [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth had been exercising strong self - control for [his]4189-the boy sake ever since [she]81-ruth had met [him]4189-the boy at the house - door ; there was now a reaction . [His]4189-the boy presence had kept [her]81-ruth mind on its perfect balance . When that was withdrawn , the effect of the strain of power was felt . And athwart the fever - mists that arose to obscure [her]81-ruth judgment , all sorts of will - o'-the - wisp plans flittered before [her]81-ruth ; tempting [her]81-ruth to this and that course of action -- to anything rather than patient endurance -- to relieve [her]81-ruth present state of misery by some sudden spasmodic effort , that took the semblance of being wise and right . Gradually all [her]81-ruth desires , all [her]81-ruth longing , settled themselves on one point . What had [she]81-ruth done -- what could [she]81-ruth do , to [Leonard]104-leonard , but evil ? If [she]81-ruth were away , and gone [no one]517-no one knew where -- lost in mystery , as if [she]81-ruth were dead -- perhaps the cruel hearts might relent , and show pity on [Leonard]104-leonard ; while [her]81-ruth perpetual presence would but call up the remembrance of [his]104-leonard birth . Thus [she]81-ruth reasoned in [her]81-ruth hot , dull brain ; and shaped [her]81-ruth plans in accordance . [Leonard]104-leonard stole [downstairs]4556-downstairs noiselessly . [He]104-leonard listened to find some quiet place where [he]104-leonard could hide [himself]104-leonard . [The house]426-the house was very still . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson thought the purposed expedition had taken place , and never dreamed but that [Ruth]81-ruth and [Leonard]104-leonard were on [distant , sunny Scaurside - hill]3286-distant , sunny scaurside - hill ; and after a very early dinner , [she]81-ruth had set out to drink tea with [[a farmer]728-a farmer 's wife]729-a farmer 's wife who lived in [the country]514-the country two or three miles off . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson meant to have gone with [her]81-ruth ; but while [they]3290-they were at dinner , [he]143-mr benson had received an unusually authoritative note from [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw desiring to speak with [him]143-mr benson , so [he]143-mr benson went to [[that gentleman]5711-that gentleman 's house]3292-that gentleman 's house instead . [Sally]148-sally was busy in [[her]148-sally kitchen]1778-her kitchen , making a great noise ( not unlike [a groom rubbing down a horse]3294-a groom rubbing down a horse ) over [her]148-sally cleaning . [Leonard]104-leonard stole into [the sitting - room]1155-the sitting - room , and crouched behind the large old - fashioned sofa to ease [his]104-leonard sore , aching heart , by crying with all the prodigal waste and abandonment of childhood . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was shown into [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's own particular room]3296-mr bradshaw 's own particular room . [The latter gentleman]3297-the latter gentleman was walking up and down , and it was easy to perceive that something had occurred to chafe [him]3297-the latter gentleman to great anger . " Sit down , [sir]4181-sir ! "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , nodding to a chair . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson sat down . But [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw continued [his]149-mr bradshaw walk for a few minutes longer without speaking . Then [he]149-mr bradshaw stopped abruptly , right in front of [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ; and in a voice which [he]149-mr bradshaw tried to render calm , but which trembled with passion -- with a face glowing purple as [he]149-mr bradshaw thought of [his]149-mr bradshaw wrongs ( and real wrongs they were ) , [he]149-mr bradshaw began : " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , [I]149-mr bradshaw have sent for [you]143-mr benson to ask -- [I]149-mr bradshaw am almost too indignant at the bare suspicion to speak as becomes [me]149-mr bradshaw -- but did [you]143-mr benson -- [I]149-mr bradshaw really shall be obliged to beg [your]143-mr benson pardon , if [you]143-mr benson are as much in the dark as [I]149-mr bradshaw was yesterday as to the character of [that woman who lives under [your]143-mr benson roof]6207-that woman who lives under your roof ? "[149-mr bradshaw] There was no answer from [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw looked at [him]143-mr benson very earnestly . [His]149-mr bradshaw eyes were fixed on the ground -- [he]149-mr bradshaw made no inquiry -- [he]149-mr bradshaw uttered no expression of wonder or dismay . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ground [his]149-mr bradshaw foot on the floor with gathering rage ; but just as [he]149-mr bradshaw was about to speak , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson rose up -- [a poor deformed old man]3298-a poor deformed old man -- before [the stern and portly figure that was swelling and panting with passion]3299-the stern and portly figure that was swelling and panting with passion . " Hear [me]149-mr bradshaw , [sir]4181-sir ! "[149-mr bradshaw] ( stretching out [his]149-mr bradshaw hand as if to avert the words which were impending ) . " Nothing [you]4181-sir can say , can upbraid [me]149-mr bradshaw like [my]149-mr bradshaw own conscience ; no degradation [you]4181-sir can inflict , by word or deed , can come up to the degradation [I]149-mr bradshaw have suffered for years , at being [a party to a deceit]6209-a party to a deceit , even for a good end-- "[149-mr bradshaw] " For a good end!--Nay ! what next ? "[149-mr bradshaw] The taunting contempt with which [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw spoke these words almost surprised [himself]149-mr bradshaw by what [he]149-mr bradshaw imagined must be its successful power of withering ; but in spite of it , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson lifted [his]143-mr benson grave eyes to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's countenance , and repeated : " For a good end . The end was not , as perhaps [you]4181-sir consider it to have been , to obtain [her]6210-her admission into [[your]4181-sir family]6211-your family -- nor yet to put [her]6210-her in the way of gaining [her]6210-her livelihood ; [[my]143-mr benson sister]5054-my sister and [I]143-mr benson would willingly have shared what [we]6213-we have with [her]6210-her ; it was [our]6213-we intention to do so at first , if not for any length of time , at least as long as [her]6210-her health might require it . Why [I]143-mr benson advised ( perhaps [I]143-mr benson only yielded to advice ) a change of name -- an assumption of a false state of widowhood -- was because [I]143-mr benson earnestly desired to place [her]6210-her in circumstances in which [she]6210-her might work out [her]6210-her self - redemption ; and [you]4181-sir , [sir]4181-sir , know how terribly [the world]506-the world goes against all such as have sinned as [Ruth]81-ruth did . [She]6210-her was so young , too . "[143-mr benson] " [You]4181-sir mistake , [sir]4181-sir ; [my]149-mr bradshaw acquaintance has not lain so much among [that class of [sinners]6047-sinners]6217-that class of sinners as to give [me]149-mr bradshaw much experience of the way in which [they]6217-that class of sinners are treated . But , judging from what [I]149-mr bradshaw have seen , [I]149-mr bradshaw should say [they]6217-that class of sinners meet with full as much leniency as [they]6217-that class of sinners deserve ; and supposing [they]6217-that class of sinners do not -- [I]149-mr bradshaw know there are [plenty of sickly sentimentalists just now who reserve all [their]6219-plenty of sickly sentimentalists just now who reserve all their interest and regard for criminals interest and regard for [criminals]6220-criminals]6219-plenty of sickly sentimentalists just now who reserve all their interest and regard for criminals -- why not pick out one of these to help [you]4181-sir in [your]4181-sir task of washing the blackamoor white ? Why choose [me]149-mr bradshaw to be imposed upon -- [[my]149-mr bradshaw household]6221-my household into which to intrude [[your]4181-sir protégée]6222-your protégée ? Why were [[my]149-mr bradshaw innocent children]6223-my innocent children to be exposed to corruption ? [I]149-mr bradshaw say , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , stamping [his]149-mr bradshaw foot , " how dared [you]4181-sir come into [this house]4203-this house , where [you]4181-sir were looked upon as [a minister of religion]6225-a minister of religion , with a lie in [your]4181-sir mouth ? How dared [you]4181-sir single [me]149-mr bradshaw out , of [all people]6226-all people , to be gulled and deceived , and pointed at through [the town]396-the town as [the person who had taken [an abandoned woman]6229-an abandoned woman into [[his]6228-the person who had taken an abandoned woman into his house to teach his daughters house]2164-his house to teach [[his]6228-the person who had taken an abandoned woman into his house to teach his daughters daughters]5539-his daughters]6228-the person who had taken an abandoned woman into his house to teach his daughters ? "[149-mr bradshaw] " [I]143-mr benson own [my]143-mr benson deceit was wrong and faithless . "[143-mr benson] " Yes ! [you]4181-sir can own it , now it is found out ! There is small merit in that , [I]149-mr bradshaw think ! "[149-mr bradshaw] " [Sir]4181-sir ! [I]149-mr bradshaw claim no merit . [I]149-mr bradshaw take shame to [myself]149-mr bradshaw . [I]149-mr bradshaw did not single [you]4181-sir out . [You]4181-sir applied to [me]149-mr bradshaw with [your]4181-sir proposal that [Ruth]81-ruth should be [[your]4181-sir children 's governess]6233-your children 's governess . "[149-mr bradshaw] " Pah ! "[143-mr benson] " And the temptation was too great-- No ! [I]149-mr bradshaw will not say that -- but the temptation was greater than [I]149-mr bradshaw could stand -- it seemed to open out a path of usefulness . "[149-mr bradshaw] " Now , do n't let [me]149-mr bradshaw hear [you]4181-sir speak so , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , blazing up . " [I]149-mr bradshaw ca n't stand it . It is too much to talk in that way when the usefulness was to consist in contaminating [[my]149-mr bradshaw innocent girls]6234-my innocent girls . "[149-mr bradshaw] " [God]104-leonard knows that if [I]143-mr benson had believed there had been any danger of such contamination -- [God]104-leonard knows how [I]143-mr benson would have died sooner than have allowed [her]81-ruth to enter [[your]4181-sir family]6211-your family . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , [you]149-mr bradshaw believe [me]143-mr benson , do n't [you]149-mr bradshaw ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , earnestly . " [I]149-mr bradshaw really must be allowed the privilege of doubting what [you]149-mr bradshaw say in future , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , in a cold , contemptuous manner . " [I]149-mr bradshaw have deserved this , "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson replied . " But , "[143-mr benson] continued [he]143-mr benson , after a moment 's pause , " [I]143-mr benson will not speak of [myself]143-mr benson , but of [Ruth]81-ruth . Surely , [sir]4181-sir , the end [I]143-mr benson aimed at ( the means [I]143-mr benson took to obtain it were wrong ; [you]4181-sir can not feel that more than [I]143-mr benson do ) was a right one ; and [you]4181-sir will not -- [you]4181-sir can not say , that [[your]4181-sir children]6237-your children have suffered from associating with [her]81-ruth . [I]143-mr benson had [her]81-ruth in [[my]143-mr benson family]6135-my family , under the watchful eyes of [three anxious persons]6239-three anxious persons for a year or more ; [we]6240-we saw faults -- [no human being]6241-no human being is without [them]6242-them -- and poor [Ruth]81-ruth 's were but slight venial errors ; but [we]6240-we saw no sign of a corrupt mind -- no glimpse of boldness or forwardness -- no token of want of conscientiousness ; [she]81-ruth seemed , and was , [a young and gentle girl]6243-a young and gentle girl , who had been led astray before [she]81-ruth fairly knew what life was . "[143-mr benson] " [I]149-mr bradshaw suppose [most depraved women]6244-most depraved women have been innocent in [their]6244-most depraved women time , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , with bitter contempt . " Oh , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ! [Ruth]81-ruth was not depraved , and [you]149-mr bradshaw know it . [You]149-mr bradshaw can not have seen [her]81-ruth -- have known [her]81-ruth daily , all these years , without acknowledging that ! "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was almost breathless , awaiting [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's answer . The quiet self - control which [he]143-mr benson had maintained so long , was gone now . " [I]143-mr benson saw [her]81-ruth daily -- [I]143-mr benson did _ not _ know [her]81-ruth . If [I]143-mr benson had known [her]81-ruth , [I]143-mr benson should have known [she]81-ruth was fallen and depraved , and consequently not fit to come into [[my]143-mr benson house]4340-my house , nor to associate with [[my]143-mr benson pure children]6246-my pure children . "[143-mr benson] " Now [I]143-mr benson wish [God]104-leonard would give [me]143-mr benson power to speak out convincingly what [I]143-mr benson believe to be [His]104-leonard truth , that [not every woman who has fallen]6247-not every woman who has fallen is depraved ; that many -- how many the Great Judgment Day will reveal to [those who have shaken off the poor , sore , penitent hearts on [earth]2018-earth]6248-those who have shaken off the poor , sore , penitent hearts on earth -- [many , many crave and hunger]6250-many , many crave and hunger after a chance for virtue -- the help which [no man]4312-no man gives to [them]6248-those who have shaken off the poor , sore , penitent hearts on earth -- help -- that gentle , tender help which [Jesus]181-christ gave once to [Mary Magdalen]118-mary . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was almost choked by [his]143-mr benson own feelings . " Come , come , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , let [us]6252-we have no more of this morbid way of talking . [The world]506-the world has decided how [such women]6254-such women are to be treated ; and , [you]143-mr benson may depend upon it , there is so much practical wisdom in [the world]506-the world that its way of acting is right in the long run , and that [no one]517-no one can fly in [its]506-the world face with impunity , unless , indeed , [they]6254-such women stoop to deceit and imposition . "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson take [my]143-mr benson stand with [Christ]181-christ against [the world]506-the world , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , solemnly , disregarding the covert allusion to [himself]143-mr benson . " What have [the world]506-the world 's ways ended in ? Can [we]6252-we be much worse than [we]6252-we are ? "[143-mr benson] " Speak for [yourself]143-mr benson , if [you]143-mr benson please . "[143-mr benson] " Is it not time to change some of [our]6252-we ways of thinking and acting ? [I]143-mr benson declare before [God]104-leonard , that if [I]143-mr benson believe in any one human truth , it is this -- that to [every woman who , like [Ruth]81-ruth , has sinned]6259-every woman who , like ruth , has sinned , should be given a chance of self - redemption -- and that such a chance should be given in no supercilious or contemptuous manner , but in the spirit of [the holy Christ]6260-the holy christ . "[143-mr benson] " Such as getting [her]81-ruth into [[a friend]672-a friend 's house]6262-a friend 's house under false colours . "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson do not argue on [Ruth]81-ruth 's case . In that [I]143-mr benson have acknowledged [my]143-mr benson error . [I]143-mr benson do not argue on any case . [I]143-mr benson state [my]143-mr benson firm belief , that it is [God]104-leonard 's will that [we]6252-we should not dare to trample any of [[His]104-leonard creatures]6263-his creatures down to the hopeless dust ; that it is [God]104-leonard 's will that [the women who have fallen]6264-the women who have fallen should be numbered among [those who have broken hearts to be bound up , not cast aside as lost beyond recall]6265-those who have broken hearts to be bound up , not cast aside as lost beyond recall . If this be [God]104-leonard 's will , as a thing of [God]104-leonard it will stand ; and [He]104-leonard will open a way . "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson should have attached much more importance to all [your]143-mr benson exhortation on this point if [I]143-mr benson could have respected [your]143-mr benson conduct in other matters . As it is , when [I]143-mr benson see [a man who has deluded [himself]6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right into considering falsehood right]6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right , [I]143-mr benson am disinclined to take [his]6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right opinion on subjects connected with morality ; and [I]143-mr benson can no longer regard [him]6266-a man who has deluded himself into considering falsehood right as a fitting exponent of the will of [God]104-leonard . [You]143-mr benson perhaps understand what [I]143-mr benson mean , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . [I]143-mr benson can no longer attend [[your]143-mr benson chapel]6267-your chapel . "[143-mr benson] If [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had felt any hope of making [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's obstinate mind receive the truth , that [he]143-mr benson acknowledged and repented of [his]143-mr benson connivance at the falsehood by means of which [Ruth]81-ruth had been received into [the Bradshaw family]3300-the bradshaw family , this last sentence prevented [his]143-mr benson making the attempt . [He]143-mr benson simply bowed and took [his]143-mr benson leave -- [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw attending [him]143-mr benson to the door with formal ceremony . [He]143-mr benson felt acutely the severance of the tie which [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had just announced to [him]143-mr benson . [He]143-mr benson had experienced many mortifications in [his]143-mr benson intercourse with [that gentleman]5711-that gentleman , but they had fallen off from [his]143-mr benson meek spirit like drops of water from a bird 's plumage ; and now [he]143-mr benson only remembered the acts of substantial kindness rendered ( the ostentation all forgotten)--many happy hours and pleasant evenings -- [the children whom [he]143-mr benson had loved dearer than [he]143-mr benson thought till now]3302-the children whom he had loved dearer than he thought till now -- [the young people about whom [he]143-mr benson had cared , and whom [he]143-mr benson had striven to lead aright]3303-the young people about whom he had cared , and whom he had striven to lead aright . [He]143-mr benson was but [a young man]824-a young man when [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw first came to [[his]143-mr benson chapel]3305-his chapel ; [they]3306-they had grown old together ; [he]143-mr benson had never recognised [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw as [an old familiar friend]3307-an old familiar friend so completely as now when [they]3306-they were severed . It was with a heavy heart that [he]143-mr benson opened [his]143-mr benson own door . [He]143-mr benson went to [[his]143-mr benson study]1727-his study immediately ; [he]143-mr benson sat down to steady [himself]143-mr benson into [his]143-mr benson position . How long [he]143-mr benson was [there]332-there -- silent and alone -- reviewing [his]143-mr benson life -- confessing [his]143-mr benson sins -- [he]143-mr benson did not know ; but [he]143-mr benson heard some unusual sound in [the house]426-the house that disturbed [him]143-mr benson -- roused [him]143-mr benson to present life . A slow , languid step came along [the passage]1842-the passage to the front door -- the breathing was broken by many sighs . [Ruth]81-ruth 's hand was on the latch when [Mr Benson]143-mr benson came out . [Her]81-ruth face was very white , except two red spots on each cheek -- [her]81-ruth eyes were deep - sunk and hollow , but glittered with feverish lustre . " [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[143-mr benson] exclaimed [he]143-mr benson . [She]81-ruth moved [her]81-ruth lips , but [her]81-ruth throat and mouth were too dry for [her]81-ruth to speak . " Where are [you]81-ruth going ? "[143-mr benson] asked [he]143-mr benson ; for [she]81-ruth had all [her]81-ruth walking things on , yet trembled so , even as [she]81-ruth stood , that it was evident [she]81-ruth could not walk far without falling . [She]81-ruth hesitated -- [she]81-ruth looked up at [him]143-mr benson , still with the same dry glittering eyes . At last [she]81-ruth whispered ( for [she]81-ruth could only speak in a whisper ) , " To [Helmsby]253-helmsby -- [I]81-ruth am going to [Helmsby]253-helmsby . "[81-ruth] " [Helmsby]253-helmsby ! [[my]81-ruth poor girl]4358-my poor girl -- may [God]104-leonard have mercy upon [you]4358-my poor girl ! "[81-ruth] for [he]143-mr benson saw [she]81-ruth hardly knew what [she]81-ruth was saying . " Where is [Helmsby]253-helmsby ? "[81-ruth] " [I]143-mr benson do n't know . In [Lincolnshire]65-lincolnshire , [I]143-mr benson think . "[143-mr benson] " But why are [you]4358-my poor girl going [there]332-there ? "[143-mr benson] " [Hush]115-hush ! [he]143-mr benson 's asleep , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , as [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had unconsciously raised [his]143-mr benson voice . " Who is asleep ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " [That poor little boy]6270-that poor little boy , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , beginning to quiver and cry . " Come here ! "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , authoritatively , drawing [her]81-ruth into [the study]1738-the study . " Sit down in that chair . [I]143-mr benson will come back directly . "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson went in search of [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , but [she]81-ruth had not returned . Then [he]143-mr benson had recourse to [Sally]148-sally , who was as busy as ever about [her]148-sally cleaning . " How long has [Ruth]81-ruth been at [home]4124-home ? "[143-mr benson] asked [he]143-mr benson . " [Ruth]81-ruth ! [She]81-ruth has never been at [home]4124-home sin ' morning . [She]81-ruth and [Leonard]104-leonard were to be off for the day somewhere or other with [[them]6273-them [Bradshaw girls]6275-bradshaw girls]6274-them bradshaw girls . "[148-sally] " Then [she]81-ruth has had no dinner ? "[143-mr benson] " Not [here]4172-here , at any rate . [I]148-sally ca n't answer for what [she]81-ruth may have done at other places . "[148-sally] " And [Leonard]104-leonard -- where is [he]104-leonard ? "[148-sally] " How should [I]3314-i know ? With [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother , [I]3314-i suppose . Leastways , that was what was fixed on . [I]3314-i 've enough to do of [my]3314-i own , without routing after [other folks]4835-other folks . "[3314-i] [She]3314-i went on scouring in no very good temper . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson stood silent for a moment . " [Sally]148-sally , "[143-mr benson] [he]143-mr benson said , " [I]143-mr benson want a cup of tea . Will [you]148-sally make it as soon as [you]148-sally can ; and some dry toast too ? [I]143-mr benson 'll come for it in ten minutes . "[143-mr benson] Struck by something in [his]143-mr benson voice , [she]3314-i looked up at [him]143-mr benson for the first time . " What [ha]6279-ha ' [ye]143-mr benson been doing to [yourself]143-mr benson , to look so grim and grey ? Tiring [yourself]143-mr benson all to tatters , looking after some naught , [I]3314-i 'll be bound ! Well ! well ! [I]3314-i mun make [ye]143-mr benson [your]143-mr benson tea , [I]3314-i reckon ; but [I]3314-i did hope as [you]143-mr benson grew older [you]143-mr benson 'd [ha]6280-ha ' grown wiser ! "[3314-i] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson made no reply , but went to look for [Leonard]104-leonard , hoping that [the child]565-the child 's presence might bring back to [[his]565-the child mother]655-his mother the power of self - control . [He]143-mr benson opened the parlour - door , and looked in , but saw [no one]517-no one . Just as [he]143-mr benson was shutting it , however , [he]143-mr benson heard a deep , broken , sobbing sigh ; and , guided by the sound , [he]143-mr benson found [the boy]4189-the boy lying on the floor , fast asleep , but with [his]4189-the boy features all swollen and disfigured by passionate crying . " [Poor child]4142-poor child ! This was what [she]655-his mother meant , then , "[143-mr benson] thought [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " [He]4189-the boy has begun [his]4189-the boy share of the sorrows too , "[143-mr benson] [he]143-mr benson continued , pitifully . " No ! [I]143-mr benson will not waken [him]4189-the boy back to consciousness . "[143-mr benson] So [he]143-mr benson returned alone into [the study]1738-the study . [Ruth]81-ruth sat where [he]143-mr benson had placed [her]81-ruth , [her]81-ruth head bent back , and [her]81-ruth eyes shut . But when [he]143-mr benson came in [she]81-ruth started up . " [I]81-ruth must be going , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth said , in a hurried way . " Nay , [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth must not go . [You]81-ruth must not leave [us]6282-we . [We]6282-we can not do without [you]81-ruth . [We]6282-we love [you]81-ruth too much . "[81-ruth] " Love [me]81-ruth ! "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , looking at [him]143-mr benson wistfully . As [she]81-ruth looked , [her]81-ruth eyes filled slowly with tears . It was a good sign , and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson took heart to go on . " Yes ! [Ruth]81-ruth . [You]81-ruth know [we]6282-we do . [You]81-ruth may have other things to fill up [your]81-ruth mind just now , but [you]81-ruth know [we]6282-we love [you]81-ruth ; and nothing can alter [our]6282-we love for [you]81-ruth . [You]81-ruth ought not to have thought of leaving [us]6282-we . [You]81-ruth would not , if [you]81-ruth had been quite well . "[143-mr benson] " Do [you]143-mr benson know what has happened ? "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth asked , in a low , hoarse voice . " Yes . [I]143-mr benson know all , "[143-mr benson] [he]143-mr benson answered . " It makes no difference to [us]6282-we . Why should it ? "[81-ruth] " Oh ! [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , do n't [you]143-mr benson know that [my]81-ruth shame is discovered ? "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth replied , bursting into tears--"and [I]81-ruth must leave [you]143-mr benson , and leave [Leonard]104-leonard , that [you]143-mr benson may not share in [my]81-ruth disgrace . "[81-ruth] " [You]143-mr benson must do no such thing . Leave [Leonard]104-leonard ! [You]143-mr benson have no right to leave [Leonard]104-leonard . Where could [you]143-mr benson go to ? "[81-ruth] " To [Helmsby]253-helmsby , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth said , humbly . " It would break [my]81-ruth heart to go , but [I]81-ruth think [I]81-ruth ought , for [Leonard]104-leonard 's sake . [I]81-ruth know [I]81-ruth ought . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth was crying sadly by this time , but [Mr Benson]143-mr benson knew the flow of tears would ease [her]81-ruth brain . " It will break [my]143-mr benson heart to go , but [I]143-mr benson know [I]143-mr benson must . "[143-mr benson] " Sit still [here]4172-here at present , "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , in a decided tone of command . [He]143-mr benson went for the cup of tea . [He]143-mr benson brought it to [her]81-ruth without [Sally]148-sally 's being aware for whom it was intended . " Drink this ! "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson spoke as [you]3320-you would do to [a child , if desiring it to take medicine]3321-a child , if desiring it to take medicine . " Eat some toast . "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth took the tea , and drank it feverishly ; but when [she]81-ruth tried to eat , the food seemed to choke [her]81-ruth . Still [she]81-ruth was docile , and [she]81-ruth tried . " [I]81-ruth can not , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth at last , putting down the piece of toast . There was a return to something of [her]81-ruth usual tone in the words . [She]81-ruth spoke gently and softly ; no longer in the shrill , hoarse voice [she]81-ruth had used at first . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson sat down by [her]81-ruth . " Now , [Ruth]81-ruth , [we]6284-we must talk a little together . [I]143-mr benson want to understand what [your]81-ruth plan was . Where is [Helmsby]253-helmsby ? Why did [you]81-ruth fix to go [there]332-there ? "[143-mr benson] " It is where [[my]81-ruth mother]4247-my mother lived , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth answered . " Before [she]4247-my mother was married [she]4247-my mother lived [there]332-there ; and wherever [she]4247-my mother lived , [the people]460-the people all loved [her]4247-my mother dearly ; and [I]81-ruth thought -- [I]81-ruth think , that for [her]4247-my mother sake [some one]378-some one would give [me]81-ruth work . [I]81-ruth meant to tell [them]460-the people the truth , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , dropping [her]81-ruth eyes ; " but still [they]460-the people would , perhaps , give [me]81-ruth some employment -- [I]81-ruth do n't care what -- for [her]4247-my mother sake . [I]81-ruth could do many things , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , suddenly looking up . " [I]81-ruth am sure [I]81-ruth could weed -- [I]81-ruth could in [gardens]6290-gardens -- if [they]460-the people did not like to have [me]81-ruth in [[their]460-the people houses]6291-their houses . But perhaps [some one]378-some one , for [[my]81-ruth mother]4247-my mother 's sake -- oh ! [[my]81-ruth dear]4145-my dear , dear mother!--do [you]4145-my dear know where and what [I]81-ruth am ? "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth cried out , sobbing afresh . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's heart was very sore , though [he]143-mr benson spoke authoritatively , and almost sternly . " [Ruth]81-ruth ! [you]81-ruth must be still and quiet . [I]143-mr benson can not have this . [I]143-mr benson want [you]81-ruth to listen to [me]143-mr benson . [Your]81-ruth thought of [Helmsby]253-helmsby would be a good one , if it was right for [you]81-ruth to leave [Eccleston]36-eccleston ; but [I]143-mr benson do not think it is . [I]143-mr benson am certain of this , that it would be a great sin in [you]81-ruth to separate [yourself]81-ruth from [Leonard]104-leonard . [You]81-ruth have no right to sever the tie by which [God]104-leonard has bound [you]81-ruth together . "[143-mr benson] " But if [I]143-mr benson am [here]4172-here [they]6296-they will all know and remember the shame of [his]104-leonard birth ; and if [I]143-mr benson go away [they]6296-they may forget-- "[143-mr benson] " And [they]6296-they may not . And if [you]81-ruth go away , [he]104-leonard may be unhappy or ill ; and [you]81-ruth , who above all others have -- and have from [God]104-leonard -- remember _ that _ , [Ruth!--the]254-ruth!--the power to comfort [him]104-leonard , the tender patience to nurse [him]104-leonard , have left [him]104-leonard to the care of [strangers]5548-strangers . Yes ; [I]3322-he know ! But [we]6298-we [ourselves]6298-we are as [strangers]5548-strangers , dearly as [we]6298-we love [him]104-leonard , compared to [a mother]1536-a mother . [He]104-leonard may turn to sin , and want the long forbearance , the serene authority of [a parent]6301-a parent ; and where are [you]3323-you ? No dread of shame , either for [yourself]3323-you , or even for [him]104-leonard , can ever make it right for [you]3323-you to shake off [your]3323-you responsibility . "[3322-he] All this time [he]3322-he was watching [her]3323-you narrowly , and saw [her]3323-you slowly yield [herself]3323-you up to the force of what [he]3322-he was saying . " Besides , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[3322-he] [he]3322-he continued , " [we]6298-we have gone on falsely hitherto . It has been [my]3324-my doing , [my]3324-my mistake , [my]3324-my sin . [I]3324-my ought to have known better . Now , let [us]6298-we stand firm on the truth . [You]81-ruth have no new fault to repent of . Be brave and faithful . It is to [God]104-leonard [you]81-ruth answer , not to [men]836-men . The shame of having [your]81-ruth sin known to [the world]506-the world , should be as nothing to the shame [you]81-ruth felt at having sinned . [We]6298-we have dreaded [men]836-men too much , and [God]104-leonard too little , in the course [we]6298-we have taken . But now be of good cheer . Perhaps [you]81-ruth will have to find [your]81-ruth work in [the world]506-the world very low -- not quite working in [the fields]958-the fields , "[3324-my] said [he]3324-my , with a gentle smile , to which [she]3325-she , downcast and miserable , could give no response . " Nay , perhaps , [Ruth]81-ruth , "[3324-my] [he]3324-my went on , " [you]81-ruth may have to stand and wait for some time ; [no one]517-no one may be willing to use the services [you]81-ruth would gladly render ; all may turn aside from [you]81-ruth , and may speak very harshly of [you]81-ruth . Can [you]81-ruth accept all this treatment meekly , as but the reasonable and just penance [God]104-leonard has laid upon [you]81-ruth -- feeling no anger against [those who slight [you]81-ruth]6308-those who slight you , no impatience for the time to come ( and come it surely will -- [I]3324-my speak as having the word of [God]104-leonard for what [I]3324-my say ) when [He]104-leonard , having purified [you]81-ruth , even as by fire , will make a straight path for [your]81-ruth feet ? [[My]3324-my child]5259-my child , it is [[Christ]181-christ [the Lord]4327-the lord who has told [us]6312-us of this infinite mercy of [God]104-leonard]6310-christ the lord who has told us of this infinite mercy of god . Have [you]81-ruth faith enough in it to be brave , and bear on , and do rightly in patience and in tribulation ? "[3324-my] [Ruth]81-ruth had been hushed and very still until now , when the pleading earnestness of [his]3326-he question urged [her]81-ruth to answer : " Yes ! "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth . " [I]81-ruth hope -- [I]81-ruth believe [I]81-ruth can be faithful for [myself]81-ruth , for [I]81-ruth have sinned and done wrong . But [Leonard--]221-leonard-- "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth looked up at [him]3326-he . " But [Leonard]104-leonard , "[3326-he] [he]3326-he echoed . " Ah ! there it is hard , [Ruth]81-ruth . [I]3326-he own [the world]506-the world is hard and persecuting to such as [he]104-leonard . "[3326-he] [He]3326-he paused to think of the true comfort for this sting . [He]3326-he went on . " [The world]506-the world is not everything , [Ruth]81-ruth ; nor is the want of [men]836-men 's good opinion and esteem the highest need which [man]661-man has . Teach [Leonard]104-leonard this . [You]81-ruth would not wish [his]104-leonard life to be one summer 's day . [You]81-ruth dared not make it so , if [you]81-ruth had the power . Teach [him]104-leonard to bid a noble , Christian welcome to the trials which [God]104-leonard sends -- and this is one of them . Teach [him]104-leonard not to look on a life of struggle , and perhaps of disappointment and incompleteness , as a sad and mournful end , but as the means permitted to [the heroes and warriors in [the army of [Christ]181-christ]6318-the army of christ , by which to show [their]6317-the heroes and warriors in the army of christ , by which to show their faithful following faithful following]6317-the heroes and warriors in the army of christ , by which to show their faithful following . Tell [him]104-leonard of the hard and thorny path which was trodden once by the bleeding feet of [One]255-one . [Ruth]81-ruth ! think of [the Saviour]6319-the saviour 's life and cruel death , and of [His]104-leonard divine faithfulness . Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[3327-he] exclaimed [he]3327-he , " when [I]3327-he look and see what [you]81-ruth may be -- what [you]81-ruth _ must _ be to [that boy]6320-that boy , [I]3327-he can not think how [you]81-ruth could be coward enough , for a moment , to shrink from [your]81-ruth work ! But [we]6321-we have all been [cowards]6322-cowards hitherto , "[3327-he] [he]3327-he added , in bitter self - accusation . " [God]104-leonard help [us]6321-we to be so no longer ! "[3327-he] [Ruth]81-ruth sat very quiet . [Her]81-ruth eyes were fixed on the ground , and [she]81-ruth seemed lost in thought . At length [she]81-ruth rose up . " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ! "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , standing before [him]3327-he , and propping [herself]81-ruth by the table , as [she]81-ruth was trembling sadly from weakness , " [I]81-ruth mean to try very , very hard , to do [my]81-ruth duty to [Leonard]104-leonard -- and to [God]104-leonard , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth added , reverently . " [I]81-ruth am only afraid [my]81-ruth faith may sometimes fail about [Leonard--]221-leonard-- "[81-ruth] " Ask , and it shall be given unto [you]81-ruth . That is no vain or untried promise , [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth sat down again , unable longer to stand . There was another long silence . " [I]81-ruth must never go to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's again , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth said at last , as if thinking aloud . " No , [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth shall not , "[3327-he] [he]3327-he answered . " But [I]81-ruth shall earn no money ! "[81-ruth] added [she]81-ruth , quickly , for [she]81-ruth thought that [he]3327-he did not perceive the difficulty that was troubling [her]81-ruth . " [You]3327-he surely know , [Ruth]81-ruth , that while [Faith]252-aunt faith and [I]81-ruth have a roof to shelter [us]6323-us , or bread to eat , [you]3327-he and [Leonard]104-leonard share it with [us]6323-us . "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth know -- [I]81-ruth know [your]3327-he most tender goodness , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , " but it ought not to be . "[81-ruth] " [It]6324-it must be at present , "[3327-he] [he]3327-he said , in a decided manner . " Perhaps before long [you]81-ruth may have some employment ; perhaps it may be some time before an opportunity occurs . "[3327-he] " Hush , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth ; " [Leonard]104-leonard is moving about in [the parlour]712-the parlour . [I]81-ruth must go to [him]104-leonard . "[81-ruth] But when [she]81-ruth stood up , [she]81-ruth turned so dizzy , and tottered so much , that [she]81-ruth was glad to sit down again immediately . " [You]81-ruth must rest here . [I]143-mr benson will go to [him]104-leonard , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . [He]3327-he left [her]81-ruth ; and when [he]3327-he was gone , [she]81-ruth leaned [her]81-ruth head on the back of the chair , and cried quietly and incessantly ; but there was a more patient , hopeful , resolved feeling in [her]81-ruth heart , which all along , through all the tears [she]81-ruth shed , bore [her]81-ruth onwards to higher thoughts , until at last [she]81-ruth rose to prayers . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson caught the new look of shrinking shame in [Leonard]104-leonard 's eye , as it first sought , then shunned , meeting [his]143-mr benson . [He]143-mr benson was pained , too , by the sight of [the little sorrowful , anxious face , on which , until now , hope and joy had been predominant]3328-the little sorrowful , anxious face , on which , until now , hope and joy had been predominant . The constrained voice , the few words [the boy]4189-the boy spoke , when formerly there would have been a glad and free utterance -- all this grieved [Mr Benson]143-mr benson inexpressibly , as but the beginning of an unwonted mortification , which must last for years . [He]3327-he [himself]3327-he made no allusion to any unusual occurrence ; [he]3327-he spoke of [Ruth]81-ruth as sitting , overcome by headache , in the study for quietness : [he]3327-he hurried on the preparations for tea , while [Leonard]104-leonard sat by in the great arm - chair , and looked on with sad , dreamy eyes . [He]3327-he strove to lessen the shock which [he]3327-he knew [Leonard]104-leonard had received , by every mixture of tenderness and cheerfulness that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's gentle heart prompted ; and now and then a languid smile stole over [the boy]4189-the boy 's face . When [his]4189-the boy bedtime came , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson told [him]4189-the boy of the hour , although [he]143-mr benson feared that [Leonard]104-leonard would have but another sorrowful crying of [himself]104-leonard to sleep ; but [he]143-mr benson was anxious to accustom [the boy]4189-the boy to cheerful movement within the limits of domestic law , and by no disobedience to it to weaken the power of glad submission to [the Supreme]3332-the supreme ; to begin the new life that lay before [him]4189-the boy , where strength to look up to [God]104-leonard as [the Law - giver and Ruler of events]3333-the law - giver and ruler of events would be pre - eminently required . When [Leonard]104-leonard had gone [upstairs]1186-upstairs , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson went immediately to [Ruth]81-ruth , and said , " [Ruth]81-ruth ! [Leonard]104-leonard is just gone up to bed , "[143-mr benson] secure in the instinct which made [her]81-ruth silently rise , and go up to [the boy]4189-the boy -- certain , too , that [they]3336-they would each be [the other]380-the other 's best comforter , and that [God]104-leonard would strengthen [each]2034-each through the other . Now , for the first time , [he]4189-the boy had leisure to think of [himself]4189-the boy ; and to go over all the events of the day . The half - hour of solitude in [[his]4189-the boy study]1727-his study , that [he]4189-the boy had before [[his]4189-the boy sister]4508-his sister 's return , was of inestimable value ; [he]4189-the boy had leisure to put events in their true places , as to importance and eternal significance . [Miss Faith]164-miss faith came in laden with farm produce . [[Her]164-miss faith kind entertainers]3341-her kind entertainers had brought [her]164-miss faith in [[their]3341-her kind entertainers shandry]3342-their shandry to the opening of [the court in which [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house stood]3343-the court in which the chapel - house stood ; but [she]164-miss faith was so heavily burdened with eggs , mushrooms , and plums , that when [[her]164-miss faith brother]982-her brother opened the door [she]164-miss faith was almost breathless . " Oh , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ! take this basket -- it is such a weight ! Oh , [Sally]148-sally , is that [you]148-sally ? Here are some magnum - bonums which [we]6326-we must preserve to - morrow . There are guinea - fowl eggs in that basket . "[164-miss faith] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson let [her]164-miss faith unburden [her]164-miss faith body , and [her]164-miss faith mind too , by giving charges to [Sally]148-sally respecting [her]148-sally housekeeping treasures , before [he]143-mr benson said a word ; but when [she]164-miss faith returned into [the study]1738-the study , to tell [him]143-mr benson the small pieces of intelligence respecting [her]164-miss faith day at [the farm]5405-the farm , [she]164-miss faith stood aghast . " Why , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , [dear]4155-dear ! What 's the matter ? Is [your]4155-dear back hurting [you]4155-dear ? "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson smiled to reassure [her]164-miss faith ; but it was a sickly and forced smile . " No , [Faith]164-miss faith ! [I]143-mr benson am quite well , only rather out of spirits , and wanting to talk to [you]164-miss faith to cheer [me]143-mr benson . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Faith]164-miss faith sat down , straight , sitting bolt - upright to listen the better . " [I]164-miss faith do n't know how , but the real story about [Ruth]81-ruth is found out . "[164-miss faith] " Oh , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ! "[143-mr benson] exclaimed [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , turning quite white . For a moment , [neither of [them]3349-them]3348-neither of them said another word . Then [she]164-miss faith went on . " Does [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw know ? "[164-miss faith] " Yes ! [He]149-mr bradshaw sent for [me]164-miss faith , and told [me]164-miss faith . "[164-miss faith] " Does [Ruth]81-ruth know that it has all come out ? "[164-miss faith] " Yes . And [Leonard]104-leonard knows . "[164-miss faith] " How ? Who told [him]104-leonard ? "[164-miss faith] " [I]164-miss faith do not know . [I]164-miss faith have asked no questions . But of course it was [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother . "[164-miss faith] " [She]655-his mother was very foolish and cruel , then , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , [her]164-miss faith eyes blazing , and [her]164-miss faith lips trembling , at the thought of the suffering [[her]164-miss faith darling boy]3350-her darling boy must have gone through . " [I]164-miss faith think [she]655-his mother was wise . [I]164-miss faith am sure it was not cruel . [He]104-leonard must have soon known that there was some mystery , and it was better that it should be told [him]104-leonard openly and quietly by [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother than by [a stranger]2130-a stranger . "[164-miss faith] " How could [she]655-his mother tell [him]104-leonard quietly ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , still indignant . " Well ! perhaps [I]143-mr benson used the wrong word -- of course [no one]517-no one was by -- and [I]143-mr benson do n't suppose even [they]6332-they [themselves]6332-they could now tell how it was told , or in what spirit it was borne . "[143-mr benson] [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was silent again . " Was [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw very angry ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes , very ; and justly so . [I]164-miss faith did very wrong in making that false statement at first . "[164-miss faith] " No ! [I]164-miss faith am sure [you]164-miss faith did not , "[164-miss faith] said [Miss Faith]164-miss faith . " [Ruth]81-ruth has had some years of peace , in which to grow stronger and wiser , so that [she]81-ruth can bear [her]81-ruth shame now in a way [she]81-ruth never could have done at first . "[164-miss faith] " All the same it was wrong in [me]143-mr benson to do what [I]143-mr benson did . "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson did it too , as much or more than [you]164-miss faith . And [I]143-mr benson do n't think it wrong . [I]143-mr benson 'm certain it was quite right , and [I]143-mr benson would do just the same again . "[143-mr benson] " Perhaps it has not done [you]164-miss faith the harm it has done [me]164-miss faith . "[164-miss faith] " Nonsense ! [Thurstan]161-thurstan . Do n't be morbid . [I]143-mr benson 'm sure [you]164-miss faith are as good -- and better than ever [you]164-miss faith were . "[143-mr benson] " No , [I]143-mr benson am not . [I]143-mr benson have got what [you]164-miss faith call morbid just in consequence of the sophistry by which [I]143-mr benson persuaded [myself]143-mr benson that wrong could be right . [I]143-mr benson torment [myself]143-mr benson . [I]143-mr benson have lost [my]143-mr benson clear instincts of conscience . Formerly , if [I]143-mr benson believed that such or such an action was according to the will of [God]104-leonard , [I]143-mr benson went and did it , or at least [I]143-mr benson tried to do it , without thinking of consequences . Now , [I]143-mr benson reason and weigh what will happen if [I]143-mr benson do so and so -- [I]143-mr benson grope where formerly [I]143-mr benson saw . Oh , Faith ! it is such a relief to [me]143-mr benson to have the truth known , that [I]143-mr benson am afraid [I]143-mr benson have not been sufficiently sympathising with [Ruth]81-ruth . "[143-mr benson] " [Poor Ruth]81-ruth ! "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " But at any rate [our]3351-our telling a lie has been the saving of [her]81-ruth . There is no fear of [her]81-ruth going wrong now . "[143-mr benson] " [God]104-leonard 's omnipotence did not need [our]3351-our sin . "[3351-our] [They]3351-our did not speak for some time . " [You]3351-our have not told [me]3351-our what [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw said . "[3351-our] " One ca n't remember the exact words that are spoken on either side in moments of such strong excitement . [He]149-mr bradshaw was very angry , and said some things about [me]143-mr benson that were very just , and some about [Ruth]81-ruth that were very hard . [His]149-mr bradshaw last words were that [he]149-mr bradshaw should give up coming to [chapel]1864-chapel . "[143-mr benson] " Oh , [Thurstan]161-thurstan ! did it come to that ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes . "[3351-our] " Does [Ruth]81-ruth know all [he]149-mr bradshaw said ? "[143-mr benson] " No ! Why should [she]81-ruth ? [I]143-mr benson do n't know if [she]81-ruth knows [he]149-mr bradshaw has spoken to [me]143-mr benson at all . [Poor creature]2557-poor creature ! [she]81-ruth had enough to craze [her]81-ruth almost without that ! [She]81-ruth was for going away and leaving [us]6335-us , that [we]6335-us might not share in [her]81-ruth disgrace . [I]143-mr benson was afraid of [her]81-ruth being quite delirious . [I]143-mr benson did so want [you]6336-you , [Faith]164-miss faith ! However , [I]143-mr benson did the best [I]143-mr benson could ; [I]143-mr benson spoke to [her]81-ruth very coldly , and almost sternly , all the while [my]143-mr benson heart was bleeding for [her]81-ruth . [I]143-mr benson dared not give [her]81-ruth sympathy ; [I]143-mr benson tried to give [her]81-ruth strength . But [I]143-mr benson did so want [you]6336-you , [Faith]164-miss faith . "[143-mr benson] " And [I]164-miss faith was so full of enjoyment , [I]164-miss faith am ashamed to think of it . But [the Dawsons]6337-the dawsons are so kind -- and the day was so fine-- Where is [Ruth]81-ruth now ? "[164-miss faith] " With [Leonard]104-leonard . [He]104-leonard is [her]81-ruth great earthly motive -- [I]143-mr benson thought that being with [him]104-leonard would be best . But [he]104-leonard must be in bed and asleep now . "[143-mr benson] " [I]164-miss faith will go up to [her]81-ruth , "[164-miss faith] said [Miss Faith]164-miss faith . [She]164-miss faith found [Ruth]81-ruth keeping watch by [Leonard]104-leonard 's troubled sleep ; but when [she]164-miss faith saw [Miss Faith]164-miss faith [she]164-miss faith rose up , and threw [herself]164-miss faith on [her]164-miss faith neck and clung to [her]164-miss faith , without speaking . After a while [Miss Benson]143-mr benson said : " [You]81-ruth must go to bed , [Ruth]81-ruth ! "[143-mr benson] So , after [she]164-miss faith had kissed [the sleeping boy]3352-the sleeping boy , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson led [her]81-ruth away , and helped to undress [her]81-ruth , and brought [her]81-ruth up a cup of soothing violet tea -- not so soothing as tender actions and soft loving tones . CHAPTER XXVIII An Understanding Between [Lovers]3353-lovers It was well [they]3354-they had so early and so truly strengthened the spirit to bear , for the events which had to be endured soon came thick and threefold . Every evening [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson thought the worst must be over ; and every day brought some fresh occurrence to touch upon [the raw place]3355-the raw place . [They]3354-they could not be certain , until [they]3354-they had seen all [[their]3354-they acquaintances]3356-their acquaintances , what difference it would make in the cordiality of [their]3354-they reception : in some cases it made much ; and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was proportionably indignant . [She]164-miss faith felt this change in behaviour more than [[her]164-miss faith brother]982-her brother . [His]982-her brother great pain arose from the coolness of [the Bradshaws]206-the bradshaws . With all the faults which had at times grated on [his]982-her brother sensitive nature ( but which [he]982-her brother now forgot , and remembered only [their]206-the bradshaws kindness ) , [they]206-the bradshaws were [[his]982-her brother old familiar friends]3358-his old familiar friends -- [his]982-her brother kind , if ostentatious , [patrons]3359-patrons -- [his]982-her brother great personal interest , out of [[his]982-her brother own family]776-his own family ; and [he]982-her brother could not get over the suffering [he]982-her brother experienced from seeing [[their]206-the bradshaws large square pew empty on Sundays]3361-their large square pew empty on sundays -- from perceiving how [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , though [he]149-mr bradshaw bowed in a distant manner when [he]149-mr bradshaw and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson met face to face , shunned [him]149-mr bradshaw as often as [he]149-mr bradshaw possibly could . All that happened in [the household]1179-the household , which once was as patent to [him]982-her brother as [his]982-her brother own , was now a sealed book ; [he]982-her brother heard of its doings by chance , if [he]982-her brother heard at all . Just at the time when [he]982-her brother was feeling the most depressed from this cause , [he]982-her brother met [Jemima]217-jemima at a sudden turn of [the street]347-the street . [He]982-her brother was uncertain for a moment how to accost [her]217-jemima , but [she]217-jemima saved [him]982-her brother all doubt ; in an instant [she]217-jemima had [his]982-her brother hand in both of [hers]217-jemima , [her]217-jemima face flushed with honest delight . " Oh , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , [I]217-jemima am so glad to see [you]143-mr benson ! [I]217-jemima have so wanted to know all about [you]143-mr benson ! How is poor [Ruth]81-ruth ? [dear Ruth]81-ruth ! [I]217-jemima wonder if [she]81-ruth has forgiven [me]217-jemima [my]217-jemima cruelty to [her]81-ruth ? And [I]217-jemima may not go to [her]81-ruth now , when [I]217-jemima should be so glad and thankful to make up for it . "[217-jemima] " [I]3365-i never heard [you]143-mr benson had been cruel to [her]81-ruth . [I]3365-i am sure [she]81-ruth does not think so . "[3365-i] " [She]81-ruth ought ; [she]81-ruth must . What is [she]81-ruth doing ? Oh ! [I]3365-i have so much to ask , [I]3365-i can never hear enough ; and [papa]4310-papa says"--she[3365-i] hesitated a moment , afraid of giving pain , and then , believing that [they]3364-they would understand the state of affairs , and the reason for [her]3365-i behaviour better if [she]3365-i told the truth , [she]3365-i went on : " [Papa]209-papa says [I]3365-i must not go to [[your]143-mr benson house]6339-your house -- [I]3365-i suppose it 's right to obey [him]209-papa ? "[3365-i] " Certainly , [[my]3365-i dear]4145-my dear . It is [your]143-mr benson clear duty . [We]3364-they know how [you]143-mr benson feel towards [us]3364-they . "[3365-i] " Oh ! but if [I]3365-i could do any good -- if [I]3365-i could be of any use or comfort to any of [you]143-mr benson -- especially to [Ruth]81-ruth , [I]3365-i should come , duty or not . [I]3365-i believe it would be [my]3365-i duty , "[3365-i] said [she]3365-i , hurrying on to try and stop any decided prohibition from [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " No ! do n't be afraid ; [I]3365-i wo n't come till [I]3365-i know [I]3365-i can do some good . [I]3365-i hear bits about [you]143-mr benson through [Sally]148-sally every now and then , or [I]3365-i could not have waited so long . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , "[3365-i] continued [she]3365-i , reddening very much , " [I]3365-i think [you]143-mr benson did quite right about poor [Ruth]81-ruth . "[3365-i] " Not in the falsehood , [[my]3365-i dear]4145-my dear . "[3365-i] " No ! not perhaps in that . [I]3366-i was not thinking of that . But [I]3366-i have been thinking a great deal about poor [Ruth's]256-ruth's -- [you]143-mr benson know [I]3366-i could not help it when [everybody]505-everybody was talking about it -- and it made [me]3366-i think of [myself]3366-i , and what [I]3366-i am . With [a father]4308-a father and [mother]4127-mother , and [home]4124-home and [careful friends]6346-careful friends , [I]3366-i am not likely to be tempted like [Ruth]81-ruth ; but oh ! [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , "[3366-i] said [she]3366-i , lifting [her]3366-i eyes , which were full of tears , to [his]3367-his face , for the first time since [she]3366-i began to speak , " if [you]143-mr benson knew all [I]3368-i have been thinking and feeling this last year , [you]143-mr benson would see how [I]3368-i have yielded to every temptation that was able to come to [me]3368-i ; and , seeing how [I]3368-i have no goodness or strength in [me]3368-i , and how [I]3368-i might just have been like [Ruth]81-ruth , or rather , worse than [she]81-ruth ever was , because [I]3368-i am more headstrong and passionate by nature , [I]3368-i do so thank [you]143-mr benson and love [you]143-mr benson for what [you]143-mr benson did for [her]81-ruth ! And will [you]143-mr benson tell [me]3368-i really and truly now if [I]3368-i can ever do anything for [Ruth]81-ruth ? If [you]143-mr benson 'll promise [me]3368-i that , [I]3368-i wo n't rebel unnecessarily against [papa]4310-papa ; but if [you]143-mr benson do n't , [I]3368-i will , and come and see [you]143-mr benson all this very afternoon . Remember ! [I]3368-i trust [you]143-mr benson ! "[3368-i] said [she]3368-i , breaking away . Then turning back , [she]3368-i came to ask after [Leonard]104-leonard . " [He]104-leonard must know something of it , "[3368-i] said [she]3368-i . " Does [he]104-leonard feel it much ? "[3368-i] " Very much , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . [Jemima]217-jemima shook [her]217-jemima head sadly . " It is hard upon [him]104-leonard , "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima . " It is , "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson replied . For in truth , [Leonard]104-leonard was [their]3369-their greatest anxiety indoors . [His]104-leonard health seemed shaken , [he]104-leonard spoke half sentences in [his]104-leonard sleep , which showed that in [his]104-leonard dreams [he]104-leonard was battling on [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother 's behalf against an unkind and angry world . And then [he]104-leonard would wail to [himself]104-leonard , and utter sad words of shame , which [they]3369-their never thought had reached [his]104-leonard ears . By day , [he]104-leonard was in general grave and quiet ; but [his]104-leonard appetite varied , and [he]104-leonard was evidently afraid of going into [the streets]297-the streets , dreading to be pointed at as an object of remark . [Each separately in [their]3369-their hearts]3372-each separately in their hearts longed to give [him]104-leonard change of scene , but [they]3369-their were all silent , for where was the requisite money to come from ? [His]104-leonard temper became fitful and variable . At times [he]104-leonard would be most sullen against [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother ; and then give way to a passionate remorse . When [Mr Benson]143-mr benson caught [Ruth]81-ruth 's look of agony at [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's rebuffs , [his]143-mr benson patience failed ; or rather , [I]0-i should say , [he]143-mr benson believed that a stronger , severer hand than [hers]81-ruth was required for the management of [the lad]4193-the lad . But , when [she]81-ruth heard [Mr Benson]143-mr benson say so , [she]81-ruth pleaded with [him]143-mr benson . " Have patience with [Leonard]104-leonard , "[81-ruth] [she]81-ruth said . " [I]81-ruth have deserved the anger that is fretting in [his]104-leonard heart . It is only [I]81-ruth who can reinstate [myself]81-ruth in [his]104-leonard love and respect . [I]81-ruth have no fear . When [he]104-leonard sees [me]81-ruth really striving hard and long to do what is right , [he]104-leonard must love [me]81-ruth . [I]81-ruth am not afraid . "[81-ruth] Even while [she]81-ruth spoke , [her]81-ruth lips quivered , and [her]81-ruth colour went and came with eager anxiety . So [Mr Benson]143-mr benson held [his]143-mr benson peace , and let [her]81-ruth take [her]81-ruth course . It was beautiful to see the intuition by which [she]81-ruth divined what was passing in every fold of [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's heart , so as to be always ready with the right words to soothe or to strengthen [him]631-her child . [Her]81-ruth watchfulness was unwearied , and with no thought of self - tainting in it , or else [she]81-ruth might have often paused to turn aside and weep at the clouds of shame which came over [Leonard]104-leonard 's love for [her]81-ruth , and hid it from all but [her]81-ruth faithful heart ; [she]81-ruth believed and knew that [he]631-her child was yet [[her]81-ruth own affectionate boy]3377-her own affectionate boy , although [he]631-her child might be gloomily silent , or apparently hard and cold . And in all this , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson could not choose but admire the way in which [she]81-ruth was insensibly teaching [Leonard]104-leonard to conform to the law of right , to recognise Duty in the mode in which every action was performed . When [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw this , [he]143-mr benson knew that all goodness would follow , and that the claims which [[his]631-her child mother]655-his mother 's infinite love had on [the boy]4189-the boy 's heart would be acknowledged at last , and all the more fully because [she]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth never urged [them]3380-them , but silently admitted the force of the reason that caused [them]3380-them to be for a time forgotten . By - and - by [Leonard]104-leonard 's remorse at [his]104-leonard ungracious and sullen ways to [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother -- ways that alternated with passionate , fitful bursts of clinging love -- assumed more the character of repentance ; [he]104-leonard tried to do so no more . But still [his]104-leonard health was delicate ; [he]104-leonard was averse to going out - of - doors ; [he]104-leonard was much graver and sadder than became [his]104-leonard age . It was what must be , an inevitable consequence of what had been ; and [Ruth]81-ruth had to be patient , and pray in secret , and with many tears , for the strength [she]81-ruth needed . [She]81-ruth knew what it was to dread the going out into [the streets]297-the streets after [her]81-ruth story had become known . For days and days [she]81-ruth had silently shrunk from this effort . But one evening towards dusk , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson was busy , and asked [her]81-ruth to go an errand for [her]81-ruth ; and [Ruth]81-ruth got up and silently obeyed [her]81-ruth . That silence as to inward suffering was only one part of [her]81-ruth peculiar and exquisite sweetness of nature ; part of the patience with which [she]81-ruth " accepted [her]81-ruth penance . "[81-ruth] [Her]81-ruth true instincts told [her]81-ruth that it was not right to disturb [others]368-others with many expressions of [her]81-ruth remorse ; that the holiest repentance consisted in a quiet and daily sacrifice . Still there were times when [she]81-ruth wearied pitifully of [her]81-ruth inaction . [She]81-ruth was so willing to serve and work , and [every one]1129-every one despised [her]81-ruth services . [Her]81-ruth mind , as [I]0-i have said before , had been well cultivated during these last few years ; so now [she]81-ruth used all the knowledge [she]81-ruth had gained in teaching [Leonard]104-leonard , which was an employment that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson relinquished willingly , because [he]143-mr benson felt that it would give [her]81-ruth some of the occupation that [she]81-ruth needed . [She]81-ruth endeavoured to make [herself]81-ruth useful in [the house]426-the house in every way [she]81-ruth could ; but the waters of housekeeping had closed over [her]81-ruth place during the time of [her]81-ruth absence at [Mr Bradshaw's]257-mr bradshaw's -- and , besides , now that [they]3386-they were trying to restrict every unnecessary expense , it was sometimes difficult to find work for [three women]3387-three women . Many and many a time [Ruth]81-ruth turned over in [her]81-ruth mind every possible chance of obtaining employment for [her]81-ruth leisure hours , and nowhere could [she]81-ruth find it . Now and then [Sally]148-sally , who was [her]81-ruth confidante in this wish , procured [her]81-ruth some needlework , but it was of a coarse and common kind , soon done , lightly paid for . But whatever it was , [Ruth]81-ruth took it , and was thankful , although it added but a few pence to the household purse . [I]0-i do not mean that there was any great need of money ; but a new adjustment of expenditure was required -- a reduction of wants which had never been very extravagant . [Ruth]81-ruth 's salary of forty pounds was gone , while more of [her]81-ruth " keep , "[148-sally] as [Sally]148-sally called it , was thrown upon [the Bensons]157-the bensons . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson received about eighty pounds a year for [his]143-mr benson salary as [minister]3388-minister . Of this , [he]143-mr benson knew that twenty pounds came from [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ; and when [the old man appointed to collect the pew - rents]3389-the old man appointed to collect the pew - rents brought [him]143-mr benson the quarterly amount , and [he]143-mr benson found no diminution in them , [he]143-mr benson inquired how it was , and learnt that , although [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had expressed to [the collector]3390-the collector [his]149-mr bradshaw determination never to come to [chapel]1864-chapel again , [he]149-mr bradshaw had added , that of course [his]149-mr bradshaw pew - rent should be paid all the same . But this [Mr Benson]143-mr benson could not suffer ; and [the old man]879-the old man was commissioned to return the money to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , as being what [[his]879-the old man deserted minister]3393-his deserted minister could not receive . [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson had about thirty or forty pounds coming in annually from a sum which , in happier days , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had invested in Canal shares for [them]3394-they . Altogether [their]3394-they income did not fall much short of a hundred a year , and [they]3394-they lived in [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house free of rent . So [Ruth]81-ruth 's small earnings were but very little in actual hard commercial account , though in another sense they were much ; and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson always received [them]3396-them with quiet simplicity . By degrees , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson absorbed some of [Ruth]81-ruth 's time in a gracious and natural way . [He]143-mr benson employed [her]81-ruth mind in all the kind offices [he]143-mr benson was accustomed to render to [the poor around [him]143-mr benson]3397-the poor around him . And as much of the peace and ornament of life as [they]3394-they gained now , was gained on a firm basis of truth . If [Ruth]81-ruth began low down to find [her]81-ruth place in [the world]506-the world , at any rate there was no flaw in the foundation . [Leonard]104-leonard was still [their]3394-they great anxiety . At times the question seemed to be , could [he]104-leonard live through all this trial of the elasticity of childhood ? And then [they]3394-they knew how precious a blessing -- how true a pillar of fire , [he]104-leonard was to [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother ; and how black the night , and how dreary [the wilderness]3400-the wilderness would be , when [he]104-leonard was not . [The child]565-the child and [the mother]618-the mother were each messengers of [God]104-leonard -- angels to [each other]579-each other . [They]3394-they had long gaps between the pieces of intelligence respecting [the Bradshaws]206-the bradshaws . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had at length purchased [the house at [Abermouth]50-abermouth]3404-the house at abermouth , and [they]3405-they were much [there]332-there . The way in which [the Bensons]157-the bensons heard most frequently of [the family of [[their]157-the bensons former friends]3408-their former friends]3407-the family of their former friends , was through [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . [He]193-mr farquhar called on [Mr Benson]143-mr benson about a month after [the latter]1745-the latter had met [Jemima]217-jemima in [the street]347-the street . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was not in the habit of paying calls on [any one]425-any one ; and though [he]193-mr farquhar had always entertained and evinced the most kind and friendly feeling towards [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , [he]193-mr farquhar had rarely been in [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson received [him]193-mr farquhar courteously , but [he]143-mr benson rather expected that there would be some especial reason alleged , before the conclusion of the visit , for its occurrence ; more particularly as [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar sat talking on the topics of the day in a somewhat absent manner , as if they were not the subjects most present to [his]193-mr farquhar mind . The truth was , [he]193-mr farquhar could not help recurring to the last time when [he]193-mr farquhar was in [that room]4164-that room , waiting to take [Leonard]104-leonard a ride , and [his]193-mr farquhar heart beating rather more quickly than usual at the idea that [Ruth]81-ruth might bring [the boy]4189-the boy in when [he]193-mr farquhar was equipped . [He]193-mr farquhar was very full now of the remembrance of [Ruth]81-ruth ; and yet [he]193-mr farquhar was also most thankful , most self - gratulatory , that [he]193-mr farquhar had gone no further in [his]193-mr farquhar admiration of [her]81-ruth -- that [he]193-mr farquhar had never expressed [his]193-mr farquhar regard in words -- that [no one]517-no one , as [he]193-mr farquhar believed , was cognisant of the incipient love which had grown partly out of [his]193-mr farquhar admiration , and partly out of [his]193-mr farquhar reason . [He]193-mr farquhar was thankful to be spared any implication in the nine - days ' wonder which [her]81-ruth story had made in [Eccleston]36-eccleston . And yet [his]193-mr farquhar feeling for [her]81-ruth had been of so strong a character , that [he]193-mr farquhar winced , as with extreme pain , at every application of censure to [her]81-ruth name . These censures were often exaggerated , it is true ; but when they were just in [their]3416-their judgment of the outward circumstances of the case , they were not the less painful and distressing to [him]193-mr farquhar . [His]193-mr farquhar first rebound to [Jemima]217-jemima was occasioned by [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's account of how severely [[her]151-mrs bradshaw husband]730-her husband was displeased at [[her]151-mrs bradshaw daughter]633-her daughter 's having taken part with [Ruth]81-ruth ; and [he]193-mr farquhar could have thanked and almost blessed [Jemima]217-jemima when [she]217-jemima dropped in ( [she]217-jemima dared do no more ) [her]217-jemima pleading excuses and charitable explanations on [Ruth]81-ruth 's behalf . [Jemima]217-jemima had learnt some humility from the discovery which had been to [her]217-jemima so great a shock ; standing , [she]217-jemima had learnt to take heed lest [she]217-jemima fell ; and when [she]217-jemima had once been aroused to a perception of the violence of the hatred which [she]217-jemima had indulged against [Ruth]81-ruth , [she]217-jemima was more reticent and measured in the expression of all [her]217-jemima opinions . It showed how much [her]217-jemima character had been purified from pride , that now [she]217-jemima felt aware that what in [her]217-jemima was again attracting [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was [her]217-jemima faithful advocacy of [[her]217-jemima rival]6078-her rival , wherever such advocacy was wise or practicable . [He]193-mr farquhar was quite unaware that [Jemima]217-jemima had been conscious of [his]193-mr farquhar great admiration for [Ruth]81-ruth ; [he]193-mr farquhar did not know that [she]217-jemima had ever cared enough for [him]193-mr farquhar to be jealous . But the unacknowledged bond between [them]3420-them now was [their]3420-them grief , and sympathy , and pity for [Ruth]81-ruth ; only in [Jemima]217-jemima these feelings were ardent , and would fain have become active ; while in [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar they were strongly mingled with thankfulness that [he]193-mr farquhar had escaped a disagreeable position , and a painful notoriety . [His]193-mr farquhar natural caution induced [him]193-mr farquhar to make a resolution never to think of [any woman]3421-any woman as [a wife]5327-a wife until [he]193-mr farquhar had ascertained all [her]3421-any woman antecedents , from [her]3421-any woman birth upwards ; and the same spirit of caution , directed inwardly , made [him]193-mr farquhar afraid of giving too much pity to [Ruth]81-ruth , for fear of the conclusions to which such a feeling might lead [him]193-mr farquhar . But still [his]193-mr farquhar old regard for [her]81-ruth , for [Leonard]104-leonard , and [his]193-mr farquhar esteem and respect for [the Bensons]157-the bensons , induced [him]193-mr farquhar to lend a willing ear to [Jemima]217-jemima 's earnest entreaty that [he]193-mr farquhar would go and call on [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , in order that [she]217-jemima might learn something about [the family]693-the family in general , and [Ruth]81-ruth in particular . It was thus that [he]193-mr farquhar came to sit by [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's study fire]3424-mr benson 's study fire , and to talk , in an absent way , to [that gentleman]5711-that gentleman . How [they]3426-they got on the subject [he]193-mr farquhar did not know , more than one - half of [his]193-mr farquhar attention being distracted ; but [they]3426-they were speaking about politics , when [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar learned that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson took in no newspaper . " Will [you]193-mr farquhar allow [me]143-mr benson to send [you]193-mr farquhar over [my]143-mr benson _ Times _ ? [I]143-mr benson have generally done with it before twelve o'clock , and after that it is really waste - paper in [[my]143-mr benson house]4340-my house . [You]193-mr farquhar will oblige [me]143-mr benson by making use of it . "[143-mr benson] " [I]193-mr farquhar am sure [I]193-mr farquhar am very much obliged to [you]193-mr farquhar for thinking of it . But do not trouble [yourself]193-mr farquhar to send it ; [Leonard]104-leonard can fetch it . "[193-mr farquhar] " How is [Leonard]104-leonard now ? "[193-mr farquhar] asked [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , and [he]193-mr farquhar tried to speak indifferently ; but a grave look of intelligence clouded [his]193-mr farquhar eyes as [he]193-mr farquhar looked for [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's answer . " [I]193-mr farquhar have not met [him]104-leonard lately . "[193-mr farquhar] " No ! "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , with an expression of pain in [his]143-mr benson countenance , though [he]143-mr benson , too , strove to speak in [his]143-mr benson usual tone . " [Leonard]104-leonard is not strong , and [we]6349-we find it difficult to induce [him]104-leonard to go much out - of - doors . "[143-mr benson] There was a little silence for a minute or two , during which [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had to check an unbidden sigh . But , suddenly rousing [himself]193-mr farquhar into a determination to change the subject , [he]193-mr farquhar said : " [You]143-mr benson will find rather a lengthened account of the exposure of [Sir Thomas Campbell]247-sir thomas campbell 's conduct at [Baden]66-baden . [He]247-sir thomas campbell seems to be a complete blackleg , in spite of [his]247-sir thomas campbell baronetcy . [I]193-mr farquhar fancy the papers are glad to get hold of anything just now . "[193-mr farquhar] " Who is [Sir Thomas Campbell]247-sir thomas campbell ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " Oh , [I]193-mr farquhar thought [you]143-mr benson might have heard the report -- a true one , [I]193-mr farquhar believe -- of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's engagement to [[his]225-mr donne daughter]2158-his daughter . [He]225-mr donne must be glad [she]2158-his daughter jilted [him]225-mr donne now , [I]193-mr farquhar fancy , after this public exposure of [[her]2158-his daughter father]411-her father 's conduct . "[193-mr farquhar] ( That was an awkward speech , as [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar felt ; and [he]193-mr farquhar hastened to cover it , by going on without much connexion :) " [Dick Bradshaw]214-dick is [[my]193-mr farquhar informant]3121-my informant about all these projected marriages in high life -- they are not much in [my]193-mr farquhar way ; but since [he]214-dick has come down from [London]3-london to take [his]214-dick share in the business , [I]193-mr farquhar think [I]193-mr farquhar have heard more of the news and the scandal of what , [I]193-mr farquhar suppose , would be considered high life , than ever [I]193-mr farquhar did before ; and [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's proceedings seem to be an especial object of interest to [him]225-mr donne . "[193-mr farquhar] " And [Mr Donne]225-mr donne is engaged to [a Miss Campbell]258-a miss campbell , is [he]225-mr donne ? "[193-mr farquhar] " Was engaged ; if [I]193-mr farquhar understood right , [she]258-a miss campbell broke off the engagement to marry [some Russian prince or other]6353-some russian prince or other -- a better match , [Dick Bradshaw]214-dick told [me]193-mr farquhar . [I]193-mr farquhar assure [you]6354-you , "[193-mr farquhar] continued [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , smiling , " [I]193-mr farquhar am [a very passive recipient of all such intelligence]6355-a very passive recipient of all such intelligence , and might very probably have forgotten all about it , if the _ Times _ of this morning had not been so full of the disgrace of [[the young lady]476-the young lady 's father]6357-the young lady 's father . "[193-mr farquhar] " [Richard Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw has quite left [London]3-london , has [he]149-mr bradshaw ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , who felt far more interest in [[his]143-mr benson old patron 's family]3427-his old patron 's family than in all [the Campbells that ever were or ever would be]3428-the campbells that ever were or ever would be . " Yes . [He]149-mr bradshaw has come to settle down here . [I]193-mr farquhar hope [he]149-mr bradshaw may do well , and not disappoint [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father , who has formed very high expectations from [him]149-mr bradshaw ; [I]193-mr farquhar am not sure if they are not too high for [any young man]6359-any young man to realise . "[193-mr farquhar] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar could have said more , but [Dick Bradshaw]214-dick was [[Jemima]217-jemima 's brother]3429-jemima 's brother , and an object of anxiety to [her]217-jemima . " [I]143-mr benson am sure , [I]143-mr benson trust such a mortification -- such a grief as any disappointment in [Richard]149-mr bradshaw , may not befall [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father , "[143-mr benson] replied [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " [Jemima]217-jemima -- [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , hesitating , " was most anxious to hear of [you]6361-you all . [I]193-mr farquhar hope [I]193-mr farquhar may tell [her]217-jemima [you]6361-you are all well "[193-mr farquhar] ( with an emphasis on _ all _ ) ; " that-- "[193-mr farquhar] " Thank [you]193-mr farquhar . Thank [her]217-jemima for [us]6361-you . [We]6361-you are all well ; all except [Leonard]104-leonard , who is not strong , as [I]193-mr farquhar said before . But [we]6361-you must be patient . Time , and such devoted , tender love as [he]104-leonard has from [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother , must do much . "[193-mr farquhar] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was silent . " Send [him]104-leonard to [[my]193-mr farquhar house]4340-my house for the papers . It will be a little necessity for [him]104-leonard to have some regular exercise , and to face [the world]506-the world . [He]104-leonard must do it , sooner or later . "[193-mr farquhar] [The two gentlemen]3430-the two gentlemen shook hands with each other on parting ; but no further allusion was made to either [Ruth]81-ruth or [Leonard]104-leonard . [So Leonard]104-leonard went for the papers . [Stealing]259-stealing along by [back streets]3431-back streets -- running with [his]104-leonard head bent down -- [his]104-leonard little heart panting with dread of being pointed out as [[his]104-leonard mother 's child]3432-his mother 's child -- so [he]104-leonard used to come back , and run trembling to [Sally]148-sally , who would hush [him]104-leonard up to [her]148-sally breast with many a rough - spoken word of pity and sympathy . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar tried to catch [him]104-leonard to speak to [him]104-leonard , and tame [him]104-leonard as it were ; and , by - and - by , [he]193-mr farquhar contrived to interest [him]104-leonard sufficiently to induce [the boy]4189-the boy to stay a little while in [the house]426-the house , or [stables]3435-stables , or [garden]3436-garden . But the race through [the streets]297-the streets was always to be dreaded as the end of ever so pleasant a visit . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar kept up the intercourse with [the Bensons]157-the bensons which [he]193-mr farquhar had thus begun . [He]193-mr farquhar persevered in paying calls -- quiet visits , where not much was said , political or local news talked about , and the same inquiries always made and answered as to the welfare of [the two families]3438-the two families , who were estranged from [each other]579-each other . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's reports were so little varied that [Jemima]217-jemima grew anxious to know more particulars . " Oh , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ! "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima ; " do [you]193-mr farquhar think [they]157-the bensons tell [you]193-mr farquhar the truth ? [I]217-jemima wonder what [Ruth]81-ruth can be doing to support [herself]81-ruth and [Leonard]104-leonard ? Nothing that [you]193-mr farquhar can hear of , [you]193-mr farquhar say ; and , of course , [one]321-one must not ask the downright question . And yet [I]217-jemima am sure [they]157-the bensons must be pinched in some way . Do [you]193-mr farquhar think [Leonard]104-leonard is stronger ? "[217-jemima] " [I]3440-i am not sure . [He]104-leonard is growing fast ; and such a blow as [he]104-leonard has had will be certain to make [him]104-leonard more thoughtful and full of care than [most boys of [his]104-leonard age]6366-most boys of his age ; both these circumstances may make [him]104-leonard thin and pale , which [he]104-leonard certainly is . "[3440-i] " Oh ! how [I]3440-i wish [I]3440-i might go and see [them]157-the bensons all ! [I]3440-i could tell in a twinkling the real state of things . "[3440-i] [She]3440-i spoke with a tinge of [her]3440-i old impatience . " [I]3440-i will go again , and pay particular attention to anything [you]193-mr farquhar wish [me]3440-i to observe . [You]193-mr farquhar see , of course , [I]3440-i feel a delicacy about asking any direct questions , or even alluding in any way to these late occurrences . "[3440-i] " And [you]193-mr farquhar never see [Ruth]81-ruth by any chance ? "[3440-i] " Never ! "[3441-i] [They]3441-i did not look at [each other]579-each other while this last question was asked and answered . " [I]3441-i will take the paper to - morrow [myself]3441-i ; it will be an excuse for calling again , and [I]3441-i will try to be very penetrating ; but [I]3441-i have not much hope of success . "[3441-i] " Oh , thank [you]193-mr farquhar . It is giving [you]193-mr farquhar a great deal of trouble ; but [you]193-mr farquhar are very kind . "[3440-i] " Kind , [Jemima]217-jemima ! "[3443-he] [he]3443-he repeated , in a tone which made [her]3440-i go very red and hot ; " must [I]3443-he tell [you]193-mr farquhar how [you]193-mr farquhar can reward me?--Will [you]193-mr farquhar call [me]3443-he [Walter?--say]260-walter?--say , thank [you]193-mr farquhar , [Walter]212-walter -- just for once . "[3443-he] [Jemima]217-jemima felt [herself]217-jemima yielding to the voice and tone in which this was spoken ; but [her]217-jemima very consciousness of the depth of [her]217-jemima love made [her]217-jemima afraid of giving way , and anxious to be wooed , that [she]217-jemima might be reinstated in [her]217-jemima self - esteem . " No ! "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima , " [I]217-jemima do n't think [I]217-jemima can call [you]3444-you so . [You]3444-you are too old . It would not be respectful . "[217-jemima] [She]217-jemima meant it half in joke , and had no idea [he]3444-you would take the allusion to [his]3444-you age so seriously as [he]3444-you did . [He]3444-you rose up , and coldly , as a matter of form , in a changed voice , wished [her]217-jemima " Good - bye . "[3444-you] [Her]217-jemima heart sank ; yet the old pride was there . But as [he]3444-you was at the very door , some sudden impulse made [her]217-jemima speak : " [I]217-jemima have not vexed [you]3444-you , have [I]217-jemima , [Walter]212-walter ? "[217-jemima] [He]3444-you turned round , glowing with a thrill of delight . [She]217-jemima was as red as any rose ; [her]217-jemima looks dropped down to the ground . They were not raised when , half an hour afterwards , [she]217-jemima said , " [You]3444-you wo n't forbid [my]217-jemima going to see [Ruth]81-ruth , will [you]3444-you ? because if [you]3444-you do , [I]217-jemima give [you]3444-you notice [I]217-jemima shall disobey [you]3444-you . "[217-jemima] The arm around [her]217-jemima waist clasped [her]217-jemima yet more fondly at the idea , suggested by this speech , of the control which [he]3444-you should have a right to exercise over [her]217-jemima actions at some future day . " Tell [me]3444-you , "[3444-you] said [he]3444-you , " how much of [your]217-jemima goodness to [me]3444-you , this last happy hour , has been owing to the desire of having more freedom as [a wife]5327-a wife than as [a daughter]5057-a daughter ? "[3444-you] [She]217-jemima was almost glad that [he]3444-you should think [she]217-jemima needed any additional motive to [her]217-jemima love for [him]3444-you before [she]217-jemima could have accepted [him]3444-you . [She]217-jemima was afraid that [she]217-jemima had betrayed the deep , passionate regard with which [she]217-jemima had long looked upon [him]3444-you . [She]217-jemima was lost in delight at [her]217-jemima own happiness . [She]217-jemima was silent for a time . At length [she]217-jemima said : " [I]217-jemima do n't think [you]3444-you know how faithful [I]217-jemima have been to [you]3444-you ever since the days when [you]3444-you first brought [me]217-jemima pistachio - candy from [London]3-london -- when [I]217-jemima was quite [a little girl]2524-a little girl . "[217-jemima] " Not more faithful than [I]217-jemima have been to [you]3444-you , "[217-jemima] for in truth , the recollection of [his]3444-you love for [Ruth]81-ruth had utterly faded away , and [he]3444-you thought [himself]3444-you [a model of constancy]3445-a model of constancy ; " and [you]3444-you have tried [me]3444-you pretty well . What a vixen [you]3444-you have been ! "[3444-you] [Jemima]217-jemima sighed ; smitten with the consciousness of how little [she]217-jemima had deserved [her]217-jemima present happiness ; humble with the recollection of the evil thoughts that had raged in [her]217-jemima heart during the time ( which [she]217-jemima remembered well , though [he]3444-you might have forgotten it ) when [Ruth]81-ruth had had the affection which [[her]81-ruth jealous rival]3446-her jealous rival coveted . " [I]81-ruth may speak to [[your]3444-you father]5319-your father , may not [I]81-ruth , [Jemima]217-jemima ? "[81-ruth] No ! for some reason or fancy which [she]217-jemima could not define , and could not be persuaded out of , [she]217-jemima wished to keep [their]3447-their mutual understanding a secret . [She]217-jemima had a natural desire to avoid the congratulations [she]217-jemima expected from [[her]217-jemima family]3448-her family . [She]217-jemima dreaded [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father 's consideration of the whole affair as a satisfactory disposal of [[his]411-her father daughter]2158-his daughter to [a worthy man]3451-a worthy man , who , being [[his]411-her father partner]2434-his partner , would not require any abstraction of capital from the concern , and [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's more noisy delight at [[his]411-her father sister]4508-his sister 's having " hooked "[3454-her simple - hearted mother] so good a match . It was only [[her]217-jemima simple - hearted mother]3454-her simple - hearted mother that [she]217-jemima longed to tell . [She]217-jemima knew that [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother 's congratulations would not jar upon [her]217-jemima , though they might not sound the full organ - peal of [her]217-jemima love . But all that [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother knew passed onwards to [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father ; so for the present , at any rate , [she]217-jemima determined to realise [her]217-jemima secret position alone . Somehow , the sympathy of all others that [she]217-jemima most longed for was [Ruth]81-ruth 's ; but the first communication of such an event was due to [[her]217-jemima parents]790-her parents . [She]217-jemima imposed very strict regulations on [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's behaviour ; and quarrelled and differed from [him]193-mr farquhar more than ever , but with a secret joyful understanding with [him]193-mr farquhar in [her]217-jemima heart , even while [they]790-her parents disagreed with [each other]579-each other -- for similarity of opinion is not always -- [I]0-i think not often -- needed for fulness and perfection of love . After [Ruth]81-ruth 's " detection , "[81-ruth] as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw used to call it , [he]149-mr bradshaw said [he]149-mr bradshaw could never trust [another governess]3460-another governess again ; so [Mary]118-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth had been sent to [school]680-school the following Christmas , and [their]790-her parents place in [the family]693-the family was but poorly supplied by the return of [Mr Richard Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , who had left [London]3-london , and been received as [a partner]3463-a partner . CHAPTER XXIX [Sally]148-sally Takes [Her]148-sally Money Out of [the Bank]3464-the bank The conversation narrated in the last chapter as taking place between [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar and [Jemima]217-jemima , occurred about a year after [Ruth]81-ruth 's dismissal from [her]81-ruth situation . That year , full of small events , and change of place to [the Bradshaws]206-the bradshaws , had been monotonous and long in its course to [the other household]3465-the other household . There had been no want of peace and tranquillity ; there had , perhaps , been more of [them]3466-their than in the preceding years , when , though unacknowledged by any , all must have occasionally felt the oppression of the falsehood -- and a slight glancing dread must have flashed across [their]3466-their most prosperous state , lest , somehow or another , the mystery should be disclosed . But now , as [the shepherd - boy]3467-the shepherd - boy in [John Bunyan]261-john bunyan sweetly sang , " [He]3467-the shepherd - boy that is low need fear no fall . "[3467-the shepherd - boy] Still , [their]3466-their peace was as the stillness of a grey autumnal day , when no sun is to be seen above , and when a quiet film seems drawn before both sky and [earth]2018-earth , as if to rest the wearied eyes after the summer 's glare . Few events broke the monotony of [their]3466-their lives , and those events were of a depressing kind . [They]3466-their consisted in [Ruth]81-ruth 's futile endeavours to obtain some employment , however humble ; in [Leonard]104-leonard 's fluctuations of spirits and health ; in [Sally]148-sally 's increasing deafness ; in the final and unmendable wearing - out of the parlour carpet , which there was no spare money to replace , and so [they]3466-their cheerfully supplied its want by a large hearth - rug that [Ruth]81-ruth made out of ends of list ; and , what was more a subject of unceasing regret to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson than all , the defection of [some of the members of [[his]143-mr benson congregation]1550-his congregation , who followed [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's lead]3469-some of the members of his congregation , who followed mr bradshaw 's lead . [[Their]3466-their places]1672-their places , to be sure , were more than filled up by [the poor]497-the poor , who thronged to [[his]143-mr benson chapel]3305-his chapel ; but still it was a disappointment to find that people about whom [he]143-mr benson had been earnestly thinking -- to whom [he]143-mr benson had laboured to do good -- should dissolve the connexion without a word of farewell or explanation . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson did not wonder that [they]3466-their should go ; nay , [he]143-mr benson even felt it right that [they]3466-their should seek that spiritual help from another , which [he]143-mr benson , by [his]143-mr benson error , had forfeited [his]143-mr benson power to offer ; [he]143-mr benson only wished [they]3466-their had spoken of [their]3466-their intention to [him]143-mr benson in an open and manly way . But not the less did [he]143-mr benson labour on among those to whom [God]104-leonard permitted [him]143-mr benson to be of use . [He]143-mr benson felt age stealing upon [him]143-mr benson apace , although [he]143-mr benson said nothing about it , and [no one]517-no one seemed to be aware of it ; and [he]143-mr benson worked the more diligently while " it was yet day . "[143-mr benson] It was not the number of [his]143-mr benson years that made [him]143-mr benson feel old , for [he]143-mr benson was only sixty , and [many men]3475-many men are hale and strong at that time of life ; in all probability , it was that early injury to [his]143-mr benson spine which affected the constitution of [his]143-mr benson mind as well as [his]143-mr benson body , and predisposed [him]143-mr benson , in the opinion of [some at least]3476-some at least , to a feminine morbidness of conscience . [He]143-mr benson had shaken off somewhat of this since the affair with [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ; [he]143-mr benson was simpler and more dignified than [he]143-mr benson had been for several years before , during which time [he]143-mr benson had been anxious and uncertain in [his]143-mr benson manner , and more given to thought than to action . The one happy bright spot in this grey year was owing to [Sally]148-sally . As [she]148-sally said of [herself]148-sally , [she]148-sally believed [she]148-sally grew more " nattered "[148-sally] as [she]148-sally grew older ; but that [she]148-sally was conscious of [her]148-sally " natteredness "[148-sally] was a new thing , and a great gain to the comfort of [the house]426-the house , for it made [her]148-sally very grateful for forbearance , and more aware of kindness than [she]148-sally had ever been before . [She]148-sally had become very deaf ; yet [she]148-sally was uneasy and jealous if [she]148-sally were not informed of all the family thoughts , plans , and proceedings , which often had ( however private in [their]3478-their details ) to be shouted to [her]148-sally at the full pitch of the voice . But [she]148-sally always heard [Leonard]104-leonard perfectly . [His]104-leonard clear and bell - like voice , which was similar to [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother 's , till sorrow had taken the ring out of it , was sure to be heard by [the old servant]782-the old servant , though [every one else]2841-every one else had failed . Sometimes , however , [she]148-sally " got [her]148-sally hearing sudden , "[148-sally] as [she]148-sally phrased it , and was alive to every word and noise , more particularly when [they]3482-they did not want [her]148-sally to hear ; and at such times [she]148-sally resented [their]3482-they continuance of the habit of speaking loud as a mortal offence . One day , [her]148-sally indignation at being thought deaf called out one of the rare smiles on [Leonard]104-leonard 's face ; [she]148-sally saw it , and said , " Bless [thee]104-leonard , [lad]5213-lad ! if it but amuses [thee]104-leonard , [they]3482-they may shout through a ram 's horn to [me]148-sally , and [I]148-sally 'll never let on [I]148-sally 'm not deaf . It 's as good a use as [I]148-sally can be of , "[148-sally] [she]148-sally continued to [herself]148-sally , " if [I]148-sally can make [that poor lad]6372-that poor lad smile a bit . "[148-sally] If [she]148-sally expected to be [[everybody]505-everybody 's confidante]3484-everybody 's confidante , [she]148-sally made [Leonard]104-leonard [hers]148-sally . " There ! "[148-sally] said [she]148-sally , when [she]148-sally came [home]4124-home from [her]148-sally marketing one Saturday night , " look here , [lad]5213-lad ! Here 's forty - two pound , seven shillings , and twopence ! It 's a mint of money , is n't it ? [I]148-sally took it all in sovereigns for fear of fire . "[148-sally] " What is it all for , [Sally]148-sally ? "[104-leonard] said [he]104-leonard . " Aye , [lad]5213-lad ! that 's asking . It 's [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's money , "[148-sally] said [she]148-sally , mysteriously , " that [I]148-sally 've been keeping for [him]143-mr benson . Is [he]143-mr benson in [the study]1738-the study , think [ye]148-sally ? "[148-sally] " Yes ! [I]148-sally think so . Where have [you]148-sally been keeping it ? "[148-sally] " Never [you]104-leonard mind ! "[148-sally] [She]148-sally went towards [the study]1738-the study , but thinking [she]148-sally might have been hard on [[her]148-sally darling]1704-her darling in refusing to gratify [his]104-leonard curiosity , [she]148-sally turned back , and said : " [I]148-sally say -- if [thou]104-leonard wilt , [thou]104-leonard mayst do [me]148-sally a job of work some day . [I]148-sally 'm wanting a frame made for a piece of writing . "[148-sally] And then [she]148-sally returned to go into [the study]1738-the study , carrying [her]148-sally sovereigns in [her]148-sally apron . " Here , [Master Thurstan]161-thurstan , "[148-sally] said [she]148-sally , pouring them out on the table before [[her]148-sally astonished master]3489-her astonished master . " Take it , it 's all [yours]161-thurstan . "[148-sally] " All [mine]104-leonard ! What can [you]148-sally mean ? "[104-leonard] asked [he]104-leonard , bewildered . [She]148-sally did not hear [him]104-leonard , and went on : " Lock it up safe , out o ' the way . [Dunnot]262-dunnot go and leave it about to tempt [folks]4966-folks . [I]148-sally 'll not answer for [myself]148-sally if money 's left about . [I]148-sally may be cribbing a sovereign . "[148-sally] " But where does it come from ? "[104-leonard] said [he]104-leonard . " Come from ! "[148-sally] [she]148-sally replied . " Where does all money come from , but [the bank]3464-the bank , to be sure ? [I]148-sally thought [any one]425-any one could tell that . "[148-sally] " [I]104-leonard have no money in [the bank]3464-the bank ! "[104-leonard] said [he]104-leonard , more and more perplexed . " No ! [I]104-leonard knowed that ; but [I]104-leonard had . [Dunnot]262-dunnot [ye]148-sally remember how [you]148-sally would raise [my]104-leonard wage , last Martinmas eighteen year ? [You]148-sally and [Faith]164-miss faith were very headstrong , but [I]104-leonard was too deep for [you]148-sally . See [thee]148-sally ! [I]104-leonard went and put it [i]104-leonard ' th ' bank . [I]104-leonard was never going to touch it ; and if [I]104-leonard had died it would have been all right , for [I]104-leonard 'd a will made , all regular and tight -- made by [a lawyer]5198-a lawyer ( leastways [he]5198-a lawyer would have been [a lawyer]5198-a lawyer , if [he]5198-a lawyer had n't got transported first ) . And now , thinks [I]104-leonard , [I]104-leonard think [I]104-leonard 'll just go and get it out and give it 'em . [Banks]67-banks is not always safe . "[104-leonard] " [I]143-mr benson 'll take care of it for [you]148-sally with the greatest pleasure . Still , [you]148-sally know , banks allow interest . "[143-mr benson] " [D'ye]6382-d'ye suppose [I]143-mr benson do n't know all about interest , and compound interest too , by this time ? [I]143-mr benson tell [ye]148-sally [I]143-mr benson want [ye]148-sally to spend it . It 's [your]148-sally own . It 's not [mine]143-mr benson . It always was [yours]148-sally . Now [you]148-sally 're not going to fret [me]143-mr benson by saying [you]148-sally think it mine . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson held out [his]143-mr benson hand to [her]3490-she , for [he]143-mr benson could not speak . [She]3490-she bent forward to [him]143-mr benson as [he]143-mr benson sat there , and kissed [him]143-mr benson . " Eh , bless [ye]143-mr benson , [lad]5213-lad ! It 's the first kiss [I]3490-she 've had of [ye]143-mr benson sin ' [ye]143-mr benson were [a little lad]6384-a little lad , and it 's a great refreshment . Now do n't [you]143-mr benson and [Faith]164-miss faith go and bother [me]3490-she with talking about it . It 's just [yours]143-mr benson , and make no more ado . "[3490-she] [She]3490-she went back into [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , and brought out [her]3490-she will , and gave [Leonard]104-leonard directions how to make a frame for it ; for [the boy]4189-the boy was [a very tolerable joiner]3493-a very tolerable joiner , and had a box of tools which [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had given [him]104-leonard some years ago . " It 's a pity to lose such fine writing , "[3490-she] said [she]3490-she ; " though [I]3490-she ca n't say as [I]3490-she can read it . Perhaps [you]104-leonard 'd just read it for [me]3490-she , [Leonard]104-leonard . "[3490-she] [She]3490-she sat open - mouthed with admiration at all the long words . The frame was made , and the will hung up opposite to [her]3490-she bed , unknown to [any one but [Leonard]104-leonard]3494-any one but leonard ; and , by dint of [his]104-leonard repeated reading it over to [her]3490-she , [she]3490-she learnt all the words , except " testatrix , "[3490-she] which [she]3490-she would always call " testy tricks . "[3490-she] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had been too much gratified and touched , by [her]3490-she unconditional gift of all [she]3490-she had in [the world]506-the world , to reject it ; but [he]143-mr benson only held it in [his]143-mr benson hands as a deposit until [he]143-mr benson could find a safe investment befitting so small a sum . The little rearrangements of the household expenditure had not touched [him]143-mr benson as [they]3496-they had done [the women]3497-the women . [He]143-mr benson was aware that meat dinners were not now every - day occurrences ; but [he]143-mr benson preferred puddings and vegetables , and was glad of the exchange . [He]143-mr benson observed , too , that [they]3498-they all sat together in [the kitchen]862-the kitchen in the evenings ; but [the kitchen]862-the kitchen , with the well - scoured dresser , the shining saucepans , the well - blacked grate and whitened hearth , and the warmth which seemed to rise up from the very flags , and ruddily cheer the most distant corners , appeared [a very cozy and charming sitting - room]3501-a very cozy and charming sitting - room ; and , besides , it appeared but right that [Sally]148-sally , in [her]148-sally old age , should have the companionship of those with whom [she]148-sally [had lived in love and faithfulness for so many years]3502-had lived in love and faithfulness for so many years . [He]143-mr benson only wished [he]143-mr benson could more frequently leave the solitary comfort of [[his]143-mr benson study]1727-his study , and join the kitchen party , where [Sally]148-sally sat as [mistress]2075-mistress in the chimney - corner , knitting by fire - light , and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Ruth]81-ruth , with the candle between [them]3498-they , stitched away at [their]3498-they work ; while [Leonard]104-leonard strewed the ample dresser with [his]104-leonard slate and books . [He]143-mr benson did not mope and pine over [his]143-mr benson lessons ; they were the one thing that took [him]143-mr benson out of [himself]143-mr benson . As yet [[his]143-mr benson mother]655-his mother could teach [him]143-mr benson , though in some respects it was becoming a strain upon [her]655-his mother acquirements and powers . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw this , but reserved [his]143-mr benson offers of help as long as [he]143-mr benson could , hoping that before [his]143-mr benson assistance became absolutely necessary , some mode of employment beyond that of occasional plain - work might be laid open to [Ruth]81-ruth . In spite of the communication [they]3498-they occasionally had with [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , when [he]193-mr farquhar gave [them]3498-they the intelligence of [his]193-mr farquhar engagement to [Jemima]217-jemima , it seemed like a glimpse into a world from which [they]3498-they were shut out . [They]3498-they wondered -- [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Ruth]81-ruth did at least -- much about the details . [Ruth]81-ruth sat over [her]81-ruth sewing , fancying how all had taken place ; and as soon as [she]81-ruth had arranged the events which were going on among [people]322-people and places once so familiar to [her]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth found some discrepancy , and set - to afresh to picture the declaration of love , and the yielding , blushing acceptance ; for [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had told little beyond the mere fact that there was an engagement between [himself]193-mr farquhar and [Jemima]217-jemima which had existed for some time , but which had been kept secret until now , when it was acknowledged , sanctioned , and to be fulfilled as soon as [he]193-mr farquhar returned from an arrangement of family affairs in [Scotland]68-scotland . This intelligence had been enough for [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , who was [the only person [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar saw]3507-the only person mr farquhar saw ; as [Ruth]81-ruth always shrank from the post of opening the door , and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was apt at recognising individual knocks , and always prompt to welcome [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson occasionally thought -- and what [she]81-ruth thought [she]81-ruth was in the habit of saying -- that [Jemima]217-jemima might have come [herself]217-jemima to announce such an event to [old friends]3508-old friends ; but [Mr Benson]143-mr benson decidedly vindicated [her]81-ruth from any charge of neglect , by expressing [his]143-mr benson strong conviction that to [her]81-ruth [they]3509-they owed [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's calls -- [his]143-mr benson all but outspoken offers of service -- [his]143-mr benson quiet , steady interest in [Leonard]104-leonard ; and , moreover ( repeating the conversation [he]143-mr benson had had with [her]81-ruth in [the street]347-the street , the first time [they]3509-they met after the disclosure ) , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson told [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister how glad [he]143-mr benson was to find that , with all the warmth of [her]81-ruth impetuous disposition hurrying [her]81-ruth on to rebellion against [[her]81-ruth father]411-her father , [she]81-ruth was now attaining to that just self - control which can distinguish between mere wishes and true reasons -- that [she]81-ruth could abstain from coming to see [Ruth]81-ruth while [she]81-ruth could do but little good , reserving [herself]81-ruth for some great occasion or strong emergency . [Ruth]81-ruth said nothing , but [she]81-ruth yearned all the more in silence to see [Jemima]217-jemima . In [her]81-ruth recollection of that fearful interview with [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , which haunted [her]81-ruth yet , sleeping or waking , [she]81-ruth was painfully conscious that [she]81-ruth had not thanked [Jemima]217-jemima for [her]217-jemima generous , loving advocacy ; it had passed unregarded at the time in intensity of agony -- but now [she]81-ruth recollected that by no word , or tone , or touch , had [she]81-ruth given any sign of gratitude . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had never told [her]81-ruth of [his]143-mr benson meeting with [Jemima]217-jemima ; so it seemed as if there were no hope of any future opportunity : for it is strange how [two households , rent apart by some dissension]3513-two households , rent apart by some dissension , can go through life , [their]3513-two households , rent apart by some dissension parallel existences running side by side , yet never touching [each other]579-each other , near [neighbours]3515-neighbours as [they]3515-neighbours are , [habitual and familiar guests]3516-habitual and familiar guests as [they]3515-neighbours may have been . [Ruth]81-ruth 's only point of hope was [Leonard]104-leonard . [She]81-ruth was weary of looking for work and employment , which everywhere seemed held above [her]81-ruth reach . [She]81-ruth was not impatient of this , but [she]81-ruth was very , very sorry . [She]81-ruth felt within [her]81-ruth such capability , and [all]851-all ignored [her]81-ruth , and passed [her]81-ruth by on the other side . But [she]81-ruth saw some progress in [Leonard]104-leonard . Not that [he]104-leonard could continue to have the happy development , and genial ripening , which [other boys]3518-other boys have ; leaping from childhood to boyhood , and thence to youth , with glad bounds , and unconsciously enjoying every age . At present there was no harmony in [Leonard]104-leonard 's character ; [he]104-leonard was as full of thought and self - consciousness as [many men]3475-many men , planning [his]104-leonard actions long beforehand , so as to avoid what [he]104-leonard dreaded , and what [she]81-ruth could not yet give [him]104-leonard strength to face , coward as [she]81-ruth was [herself]81-ruth , and shrinking from hard remarks . Yet [Leonard]104-leonard was regaining some of [his]104-leonard lost tenderness towards [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother ; when [they]3521-they were alone [he]104-leonard would throw [himself]104-leonard on [her]81-ruth neck and smother [her]81-ruth with kisses , without any apparent cause for such a passionate impulse . If [any one]425-any one was by , [his]104-leonard manner was cold and reserved . The hopeful parts of [his]104-leonard character were the determination evident in [him]104-leonard to be a " law unto [himself]104-leonard , "[104-leonard] and the serious thought which [he]104-leonard gave to the formation of this law . There was an inclination in [him]104-leonard to reason , especially and principally with [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , on the great questions of ethics which the majority of [the world]506-the world have settled long ago . But [I]0-i do not think [he]104-leonard ever so argued with [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother . [Her]655-his mother lovely patience , and [her]655-his mother humility , was earning its reward ; and from [her]655-his mother quiet piety , bearing sweetly the denial of [her]655-his mother wishes -- the refusal of [her]655-his mother begging -- the disgrace in which [she]655-his mother lay , while others , less worthy , were employed -- this , which perplexed [him]104-leonard , and almost angered [him]104-leonard at first , called out [his]104-leonard reverence at last , and what [she]655-his mother said [he]104-leonard took for [his]104-leonard law with proud humility ; and thus softly , [she]655-his mother was leading [him]104-leonard up to [God]104-leonard . [His]104-leonard health was not strong ; it was not likely to be . [He]104-leonard moaned and talked in [his]104-leonard sleep , and [his]104-leonard appetite was still variable , part of which might be owing to [his]104-leonard preference of the hardest lessons to any outdoor exercise . But this last unnatural symptom was vanishing before the assiduous kindness of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , and the quiet but firm desire of [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother . Next to [Ruth]81-ruth , [Sally]148-sally had perhaps the most influence over [him]104-leonard ; but [he]104-leonard dearly loved both [Mr]3526-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ; although [he]104-leonard was reserved on this , as on every point not purely intellectual . [His]3527-his was a hard childhood , and [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother felt that it was so . [Children]1146-children bear any moderate degree of poverty and privation cheerfully ; but , in addition to a good deal of this , [Leonard]104-leonard had to bear a sense of disgrace attaching to [him]104-leonard and to the creature [he]104-leonard loved best ; this it was that took out of [him]104-leonard the buoyancy and natural gladness of youth , in a way which no scantiness of food or clothing , or want of any outward comfort , could ever have done . Two years had passed away -- two long , eventless years . Something was now going to happen , which touched [their]3530-their hearts very nearly , though out of [their]3530-their sight and hearing . [Jemima]217-jemima was going to be married this August , and by - and - by the very day was fixed . It was to be on the 14th . On the evening of the 13th , [Ruth]81-ruth was sitting alone in [the parlour]712-the parlour , idly gazing out on the darkening shadows in [the little garden]1083-the little garden ; [her]81-ruth eyes kept filling with quiet tears , that rose , not for [her]81-ruth own isolation from all that was going on of bustle and preparation for the morrow 's event , but because [she]81-ruth had seen how [Miss Benson]143-mr benson had felt that [she]81-ruth and [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother were left out from the gathering of [old friends in [the Bradshaw family]3300-the bradshaw family]3534-old friends in the bradshaw family . As [Ruth]81-ruth sat , suddenly [she]81-ruth was aware of a figure by [her]81-ruth ; [she]81-ruth started up , and in the gloom of [the apartment]3536-the apartment [she]81-ruth recognised [Jemima]217-jemima . In an instant [they]3537-they were in [each other]579-each other 's arms -- a long , fast embrace . " Can [you]81-ruth forgive [me]217-jemima ? "[217-jemima] whispered [Jemima]217-jemima in [Ruth]81-ruth 's ear . " Forgive [you]81-ruth ! What do [you]81-ruth mean ? What have [I]217-jemima to forgive ? The question is , can [I]217-jemima ever thank [you]81-ruth as [I]217-jemima long to do , if [I]217-jemima could find words ? "[217-jemima] " Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth , how [I]217-jemima hated [you]81-ruth once ! "[217-jemima] " It was all the more noble in [you]81-ruth to stand by [me]217-jemima as [you]81-ruth did . [You]81-ruth must have hated [me]217-jemima when [you]81-ruth knew how [I]217-jemima was deceiving [you]81-ruth all ! "[217-jemima] " No , that was not it that made [me]3539-me hate [you]81-ruth . It was before that . Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth , [I]3539-me did hate [you]81-ruth ! "[3539-me] [They]3539-me were silent for some time , still holding [each other]579-each other 's hands . [Ruth]81-ruth spoke first . " And [you]81-ruth are going to be married to - morrow ! "[81-ruth] " Yes , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima . " To - morrow , at nine o'clock . But [I]217-jemima do n't think [I]217-jemima could have been married without coming to wish [Mr Benson]143-mr benson and [Miss Faith]164-miss faith good - bye . "[217-jemima] " [I]81-ruth will go for [them]6385-them , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " No , not just yet . [I]81-ruth want to ask [you]81-ruth one or two questions first . Nothing very particular ; only it seems as if there had been such a strange , long separation between [us]3539-me . [Ruth]81-ruth , "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , dropping [her]81-ruth voice , " is [Leonard]104-leonard stronger than [he]104-leonard was ? [I]81-ruth was so sorry to hear about [him]104-leonard from [Walter]212-walter . But [he]104-leonard is better ? "[81-ruth] asked [she]81-ruth , anxiously . " Yes , [he]104-leonard is better . Not what [a boy of]6386-a boy of [his]104-leonard age should be , "[655-his mother] replied [[his]3541-his mother]655-his mother , in a tone of quiet but deep mournfulness . " Oh , [Jemima]217-jemima ! "[81-ruth] continued [she]81-ruth , " [my]81-ruth sharpest punishment comes through [him]104-leonard . To think what [he]104-leonard might have been , and what [he]104-leonard is ! "[81-ruth] " But [Walter]212-walter says [he]104-leonard is both stronger in health , and not so -- nervous and shy . "[217-jemima] [Jemima]217-jemima added the last words in a hesitating and doubtful manner , as if [she]217-jemima did not know how to express [her]217-jemima full meaning without hurting [Ruth]81-ruth . " [He]104-leonard does not show that [he]104-leonard feels [his]104-leonard disgrace so much . [I]217-jemima can not talk about it , [Jemima]217-jemima , [my]217-jemima heart aches so about [him]104-leonard . But [he]104-leonard is better , "[217-jemima] [she]217-jemima continued , feeling that [Jemima]217-jemima 's kind anxiety required an answer at any cost of pain to [herself]217-jemima . " [He]104-leonard is only studying too closely now ; [he]104-leonard takes to [his]104-leonard lessons evidently as a relief from thought . [He]104-leonard is very clever , and [I]217-jemima hope and trust , yet [I]217-jemima tremble to say it , [I]217-jemima believe [he]104-leonard is very good . "[217-jemima] " [You]81-ruth must let [him]104-leonard come and see [us]6387-we very often when [we]6387-we come back . [We]6387-we shall be two months away . [We]6387-we are going to [Germany]47-germany , partly on [Walter]212-walter 's business . [Ruth]81-ruth , [I]217-jemima have been talking to [papa]209-papa to - night , very seriously and quietly , and it has made [me]217-jemima love [him]104-leonard so much more , and understand [him]104-leonard so much better . "[217-jemima] " Does [he]104-leonard know of [your]81-ruth coming [here]4172-here ? [I]81-ruth hope [he]104-leonard does , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth . " Yes . Not that [he]104-leonard liked [my]81-ruth doing it at all . But , somehow , [I]81-ruth can always do things against [a person]653-a person 's wishes more easily when [I]81-ruth am on good terms with [them]653-a person -- that 's not exactly what [I]81-ruth meant ; but now to - night , after [papa]4310-papa had been showing [me]81-ruth that [he]4310-papa really loved [me]81-ruth more than [I]81-ruth ever thought [he]4310-papa had done ( for [I]81-ruth always fancied [he]4310-papa was so absorbed in [Dick]214-dick , [he]4310-papa did not care much for [[us]6391-us girls]6392-us girls ) , [I]81-ruth felt brave enough to say that [I]81-ruth intended to come here and bid [you]6392-us girls all good - bye . [He]4310-papa was silent for a minute , and then said [I]81-ruth might do it , but [I]81-ruth must remember [he]4310-papa did not approve of it , and was not to be compromised by [my]81-ruth coming ; still [I]81-ruth can tell that , at the bottom of [his]4310-papa heart , there is some of the old kindly feeling to [Mr]6393-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , and [I]81-ruth do n't despair of its all being made up , though , perhaps , [I]81-ruth ought to say that [mamma]4143-mamma does . "[81-ruth] " [Mr]6395-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson wo n't hear of [my]81-ruth going away , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , sadly . " [They]6396-they are quite right . "[81-ruth] " But [I]81-ruth am earning nothing . [I]81-ruth can not get any employment . [I]81-ruth am only a burden and an expense . "[81-ruth] " Are [you]81-ruth not also a pleasure ? And [Leonard]104-leonard , is [he]104-leonard not a dear object of love ? It is easy for [me]81-ruth to talk , [I]81-ruth know , who am so impatient . Oh , [I]81-ruth never deserved to be so happy as [I]81-ruth am ! [You]81-ruth do n't know how good [Walter]212-walter is . [I]81-ruth used to think [him]212-walter so cold and cautious . But now , [Ruth]81-ruth , will [you]81-ruth tell [Mr]6397-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson that [I]81-ruth am here ? There is signing of papers , and [I]81-ruth do n't know what to be done at [home]4124-home . And when [I]81-ruth come back , [I]81-ruth hope to see [you]81-ruth often , if [you]81-ruth 'll let [me]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] [Mr and Miss Benson]143-mr benson gave [her]3543-her a warm greeting . [Sally]148-sally was called in , and would bring a candle with [her]148-sally , to have a close inspection of [her]148-sally , in order to see if [she]148-sally was changed -- [she]148-sally had not seen [her]148-sally for so long a time , [she]148-sally said ; and [Jemima]217-jemima stood laughing and blushing in the middle of [the room]357-the room , while [Sally]148-sally studied [her]148-sally all over , and would not be convinced that the old gown which [she]148-sally was wearing for the last time was not one of the new wedding ones . The consequence of which misunderstanding was , that [Sally]148-sally , in [her]148-sally short petticoats and bedgown , turned up [her]148-sally nose at the old - fashioned way in which [Miss Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw 's gown was made . But [Jemima]217-jemima knew [the old woman]4187-the old woman , and rather enjoyed the contempt for [her]4187-the old woman dress . At last [she]217-jemima kissed [them]3546-them all , and ran away to [her]217-jemima impatient [Mr Farquhar , who was awaiting [her]217-jemima]193-mr farquhar . Not many weeks after this , [the poor old woman whom [I]0-i have named as having become [a friend of [Ruth]81-ruth 's]3548-a friend of ruth 's , during [Leonard]104-leonard 's illness three years ago]3547-the poor old woman whom i have named as having become a friend of ruth 's , during leonard 's illness three years ago , fell down and broke [her]81-ruth hip - bone . It was a serious -- probably a fatal injury , for [one so old]3549-one so old ; and as soon as [Ruth]81-ruth heard of it [she]81-ruth devoted all [her]81-ruth leisure time to old [Ann Fleming]263-mary . [Leonard]104-leonard had now outstript [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother 's powers of teaching , and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson gave [him]104-leonard [his]104-leonard lessons ; so [Ruth]81-ruth was a great deal at [the cottage]588-the cottage both night and day . There [Jemima]217-jemima found [her]81-ruth one November evening , the second after [their]3552-their return from [their]3552-their prolonged stay on [the Continent]42-the continent . [She]217-jemima and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had been to [the Bensons]157-the bensons , and had sat [there]332-there some time ; and now [Jemima]217-jemima had come on just to see [Ruth]81-ruth for five minutes , before the evening was too dark for [her]217-jemima to return alone . [She]217-jemima found [Ruth]81-ruth sitting on a stool before the fire , which was composed of a few sticks on the hearth . The blaze [they]3552-their gave was , however , enough to enable [her]81-ruth to read ; and [she]81-ruth was deep in study of the Bible , in which [she]81-ruth had read aloud to [the poor old woman]3554-the poor old woman , until [the latter]1745-the latter had fallen asleep . [Jemima]217-jemima beckoned [her]81-ruth out , and [they]3552-their stood on [the green]3556-the green just before the open door , so that [Ruth]81-ruth could see if [Ann]263-mary awoke . " [I]217-jemima have not many minutes to stay , only [I]217-jemima felt as if [I]217-jemima must see [you]81-ruth . And [we]3552-their want [Leonard]104-leonard to come to [us]3552-their to see all [our]3552-their German purchases , and hear all [our]3552-their German adventures . May [he]104-leonard come to - morrow ? "[217-jemima] " Yes ; thank [you]217-jemima . Oh ! [Jemima]217-jemima , [I]217-jemima have heard something -- [I]217-jemima have got a plan that makes [me]217-jemima so happy ! [I]217-jemima have not told [any one]425-any one yet . But [Mr Wynne]264-mr wynne ( [the parish doctor]6400-the parish doctor , [you]81-ruth know ) has asked [me]217-jemima if [I]217-jemima would go out as [a sick nurse]6401-a sick nurse -- [he]264-mr wynne thinks [he]264-mr wynne could find [me]217-jemima employment . "[217-jemima] " [You]217-jemima , [a sick nurse]6401-a sick nurse ! "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , involuntarily glancing over the beautiful lithe figure , and the lovely refinement of [Ruth]81-ruth 's face as the light of the rising moon fell upon it . " [[My]217-jemima dear]4145-my dear [Ruth]81-ruth , [I]217-jemima do n't think [you]81-ruth are fitted for it ! "[217-jemima] " Do n't [you]217-jemima ? "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , a little disappointed . " [I]81-ruth think [I]81-ruth am ; at least , that [I]81-ruth should be very soon . [I]81-ruth like being about [sick and helpless people]6404-sick and helpless people ; [I]81-ruth always feel so sorry for [them]6404-sick and helpless people ; and then [I]81-ruth think [I]81-ruth have the gift of a very delicate touch , which is such a comfort in many cases . And [I]81-ruth should try to be very watchful and patient . [Mr Wynne]264-mr wynne proposed it [himself]264-mr wynne . "[81-ruth] " It was not in that way [I]217-jemima meant [you]81-ruth were not fitted for it . [I]217-jemima meant that [you]81-ruth were fitted for something better . Why , [Ruth]81-ruth , [you]81-ruth are better educated than [I]217-jemima am ! "[217-jemima] " But if [nobody]5038-nobody will allow [me]217-jemima to teach?--for that is what [I]217-jemima suppose [you]81-ruth mean . Besides , [I]217-jemima feel as if all [my]217-jemima education would be needed to make [me]217-jemima [a good sick nurse]6406-a good sick nurse . "[217-jemima] " [Your]81-ruth knowledge of Latin , for instance , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , hitting , in [her]217-jemima vexation at the plan , on the first acquirement of [Ruth]81-ruth [she]217-jemima could think of . " Well ! "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , " that wo n't come amiss ; [I]81-ruth can read the prescriptions . "[81-ruth] " Which [the doctors]6407-the doctors would rather [you]81-ruth did not do . "[217-jemima] " Still , [you]81-ruth ca n't say that any knowledge of any kind will be in [my]217-jemima way , or will unfit [me]217-jemima for [my]217-jemima work . "[217-jemima] " Perhaps not . But all [your]81-ruth taste and refinement will be in [your]81-ruth way , and will unfit [you]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] " [You]81-ruth have not thought about this so much as [I]217-jemima have , or [you]81-ruth would not say so . Any fastidiousness [I]217-jemima shall have to get rid of , and [I]217-jemima shall be better without ; but any true refinement [I]217-jemima am sure [I]217-jemima shall find of use ; for do n't [you]81-ruth think that every power [we]6408-we have may be made to help [us]6408-we in any right work , whatever that is ? Would [you]81-ruth not rather be nursed by [a person who spoke gently and moved quietly about]6409-a person who spoke gently and moved quietly about than by [a loud bustling woman]6410-a loud bustling woman ? "[217-jemima] " Yes , to be sure ; but [a person unfit for anything else]6411-a person unfit for anything else may move quietly , and speak gently , and give medicine when [the doctor]4191-the doctor orders it , and keep awake at night ; and those are the best qualities [I]217-jemima ever heard of in [a sick nurse]6401-a sick nurse . "[217-jemima] [Ruth]81-ruth was quite silent for some time . At last [she]81-ruth said : " At any rate it is work , and as such [I]81-ruth am thankful for it . [You]81-ruth can not discourage [me]81-ruth -- and perhaps [you]81-ruth know too little of what [my]81-ruth life has been -- how set apart in idleness [I]81-ruth have been -- to sympathise with [me]81-ruth fully . "[81-ruth] " And [I]81-ruth wanted [you]81-ruth to come to see [us]6414-us -- [me]81-ruth in [[my]81-ruth new home]6415-my new home . [Walter]212-walter and [I]81-ruth had planned that [we]6414-us would persuade [you]81-ruth to come to [us]6414-us very often "[81-ruth] ( [she]81-ruth had planned , and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had consented ) ; " and now [you]81-ruth will have to be fastened up in [a sick - room]1239-a sick - room . "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth could not have come , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth quickly . " [Dear Jemima]217-jemima ! it is like [you]81-ruth to have thought of it -- but [I]81-ruth could not come to [[your]81-ruth house]6339-your house . It is not a thing to reason about . [It]6418-it is just feeling . But [I]81-ruth do feel as if [I]81-ruth could not go . [Dear Jemima]217-jemima ! if [you]81-ruth are ill or sorrowful , and want [me]81-ruth , [I]81-ruth will come-- "[81-ruth] " So [you]81-ruth would and must to [any one]425-any one , if [you]81-ruth take up that calling . "[81-ruth] " But [I]81-ruth should come to [you]81-ruth , love , in quite a different way ; [I]81-ruth should go to [you]81-ruth with [my]81-ruth heart full of love -- so full that [I]81-ruth am afraid [I]81-ruth should be too anxious . "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth almost wish [I]81-ruth were ill , that [I]81-ruth might make [you]81-ruth come at once . "[81-ruth] " And [I]81-ruth am almost ashamed to think how [I]81-ruth should like [you]81-ruth to be in some position in which [I]81-ruth could show [you]81-ruth how well [I]81-ruth remember that day -- that terrible day in [the school - room]2575-the school - room . [God]104-leonard bless [you]81-ruth for it , [Jemima]217-jemima ! "[81-ruth] CHAPTER XXX The Forged Deed [Mr Wynne]264-mr wynne , [the parish surgeon]3557-the parish surgeon , was right . [He]264-mr wynne could and did obtain employment for [Ruth]81-ruth as [a sick nurse]6401-a sick nurse . [[Her]81-ruth home]840-her home was with [the Bensons]157-the bensons ; every spare moment was given to [Leonard]104-leonard and to [them]157-the bensons ; but [she]81-ruth was at the call of [all the invalids in [the town]396-the town]3560-all the invalids in the town . At first [her]81-ruth work lay exclusively among [the paupers]3562-the paupers . At first , too , there was a recoil from many circumstances , which impressed upon [her]81-ruth the most fully the physical sufferings of [those whom [she]81-ruth tended]3563-those whom she tended . But [she]81-ruth tried to lose the sense of these -- or rather to lessen [them]3563-those whom she tended , and make [them]3563-those whom she tended take [their]3563-those whom she tended appointed places -- in thinking of [the individuals themselves]3564-the individuals themselves , as separate from [their]3563-those whom she tended decaying frames ; and all along [she]81-ruth had enough self - command to control [herself]81-ruth from expressing any sign of repugnance . [She]81-ruth allowed [herself]81-ruth no nervous haste of movement or touch that should hurt the feelings of [the poorest , most friendless creature , who ever lay a victim to disease]3565-the poorest , most friendless creature , who ever lay a victim to disease . There was no rough getting over of all the disagreeable and painful work of [her]81-ruth employment . When it was a lessening of pain to have the touch careful and delicate , and the ministration performed with gradual skill , [Ruth]81-ruth thought of [her]81-ruth charge , and not of [herself]81-ruth . As [she]81-ruth had foretold , [she]81-ruth found a use for all [her]81-ruth powers . [The poor patients]3566-the poor patients [themselves]3566-the poor patients were unconsciously gratified and soothed by [her]81-ruth harmony and refinement of manner , voice , and gesture . If this harmony and refinement had been merely superficial , it would not have had this balmy effect . That arose from its being the true expression of a kind , modest , and humble spirit . By degrees [her]81-ruth reputation as [a nurse]3567-a nurse spread upwards , and [many]652-many sought [her]81-ruth good offices who could well afford to pay for [them]652-many . Whatever remuneration was offered to [her]81-ruth , [she]81-ruth took it simply and without comment ; for [she]81-ruth felt that it was not [hers]81-ruth to refuse ; that it was , in fact , owing to [the Bensons]157-the bensons for [her]81-ruth and [[her]81-ruth child]631-her child 's subsistence . [She]81-ruth went wherever [her]81-ruth services were first called for . If [the poor bricklayer]3570-the poor bricklayer , who broke both [his]3570-the poor bricklayer legs in a fall from the scaffolding , sent for [her]81-ruth when [she]81-ruth was disengaged , [she]81-ruth went and remained with [him]3570-the poor bricklayer until [he]3570-the poor bricklayer could spare [her]81-ruth , let who would be [the next claimant]3571-the next claimant . From the happy and prosperous in all but health , [she]81-ruth would occasionally beg off , when [some one less happy and more friendless]3572-some one less happy and more friendless wished for [her]81-ruth ; and sometimes [she]81-ruth would ask for a little money from [Mr Benson]143-mr benson to give to such in [their]3573-they time of need . But it was astonishing how much [she]81-ruth was able to do without money . [Her]81-ruth ways were very quiet ; [she]81-ruth never spoke much . [Any one who has been oppressed with the weight of a vital secret for years]3574-any one who has been oppressed with the weight of a vital secret for years , and much more [any one the character of whose life has been stamped by one event , and that producing sorrow and shame]3575-any one the character of whose life has been stamped by one event , and that producing sorrow and shame , is naturally reserved . And yet [Ruth]81-ruth 's silence was not like reserve ; it was too gentle and tender for that . It had more the effect of a hush of all loud or disturbing emotions , and out of the deep calm the words that came forth had a beautiful power . [She]81-ruth did not talk much about religion ; but those who noticed [her]81-ruth knew that it was the unseen banner which [she]81-ruth was following . The low - breathed sentences which [she]81-ruth spoke into the ear of [the sufferer]3576-the sufferer and [the dying]3262-the dying carried them upwards to [God]104-leonard . [She]81-ruth gradually became known and respected among [the roughest boys of [the rough populace of [the town]396-the town]3579-the rough populace of the town]3578-the roughest boys of the rough populace of the town . [They]3573-they would make way for [her]81-ruth when [she]81-ruth passed along [the streets]297-the streets with more deference than [they]3573-they used to most ; for all knew something of the tender care with which [she]81-ruth had attended this or [that sick person]3582-that sick person , and , besides , [she]81-ruth was so often in connexion with [Death]265-death that something of the superstitious awe with which [the dead]3583-the dead were regarded by [those rough boys in the midst of [their]3584-those rough boys in the midst of their strong life strong life]3584-those rough boys in the midst of their strong life , surrounded [her]81-ruth . [She]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth did not feel changed . [She]81-ruth felt just as faulty -- as far from being what [she]81-ruth wanted to be , as ever . [She]81-ruth best knew how many of [her]81-ruth good actions were incomplete , and marred with evil . [She]81-ruth did not feel much changed from the earliest Ruth [she]81-ruth could remember . Everything seemed to change but [herself]81-ruth . [Mr]3585-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson grew old , and [Sally]148-sally grew deaf , and [Leonard]104-leonard was shooting up , and [Jemima]217-jemima was [a mother]1536-a mother . [She]81-ruth and [the distant hills that [she]81-ruth saw]3587-the distant hills that she saw from [[her]81-ruth chamber]2432-her chamber window , seemed the only things which were the same as when [she]81-ruth first came to [Eccleston]36-eccleston . As [she]81-ruth sat looking out , and taking [her]81-ruth fill of solitude , which sometimes was [her]81-ruth most thorough rest -- as [she]81-ruth sat at the attic window looking abroad -- [she]81-ruth saw [[their]3589-their next - door neighbour]3590-their next - door neighbour carried out to sun [himself]3590-their next - door neighbour in [[his]3590-their next - door neighbour garden]3591-his garden . When [she]81-ruth first came to [Eccleston]36-eccleston , [this neighbour]3592-this neighbour and [[his]3592-this neighbour daughter]2158-his daughter were often seen taking long and regular walks ; by - and - by [his]3592-this neighbour walks became shorter , and [the attentive daughter]3594-the attentive daughter would convoy [him]3592-this neighbour [home]4124-home , and set out afresh to finish [her]3594-the attentive daughter own . Of late years [he]3592-this neighbour had only gone out in [the garden behind [[his]3592-this neighbour house]2164-his house]3596-the garden behind his house ; but at first [he]3592-this neighbour had walked pretty briskly there by [[his]3592-this neighbour daughter]2158-his daughter 's help -- now [he]3592-this neighbour was carried , and placed in a large , cushioned easy - chair , [his]3592-this neighbour head remaining where it was placed against the pillow , and hardly moving when [[his]3592-this neighbour kind daughter , who was now middle - aged]3599-his kind daughter , who was now middle - aged , brought [him]3592-this neighbour the first roses of the summer . This told [Ruth]81-ruth of the lapse of life and time . [Mr]3600-mr and [Mrs Farquhar]266-mrs farquhar were constant in [their]3601-their attentions ; but there was no sign of [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ever forgiving the imposition which had been practised upon [him]149-mr bradshaw , and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ceased to hope for any renewal of [their]3601-their intercourse . Still , [he]3592-this neighbour thought that [he]3592-this neighbour must know of all the kind attentions which [Jemima]217-jemima paid to [them]3601-their , and of the fond regard which both [she]217-jemima and [[her]217-jemima husband]730-her husband bestowed on [Leonard]104-leonard . This latter feeling even went so far that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar called one day , and with much diffidence begged [Mr Benson]143-mr benson to urge [Ruth]81-ruth to let [him]3592-this neighbour be sent to [school]680-school at [[his]193-mr farquhar ( [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's ) expense]3604-his ( mr farquhar 's ) expense . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was taken by surprise , and hesitated . " [I]143-mr benson do not know . It would be a great advantage in some respects ; and yet [I]143-mr benson doubt whether it would in others . [[His]3592-this neighbour mother]655-his mother 's influence over [him]3592-this neighbour is thoroughly good , and [I]143-mr benson should fear that any thoughtless allusions to [his]3592-this neighbour peculiar position might touch the raw spot in [his]3592-this neighbour mind . "[143-mr benson] " But [he]3592-this neighbour is so unusually clever , it seems a shame not to give [him]3592-this neighbour all the advantages [he]3592-this neighbour can have . Besides , does [he]3592-this neighbour see much of [[his]3592-this neighbour mother]655-his mother now ? "[193-mr farquhar] " Hardly a day passes without [her]655-his mother coming [home]4124-home to be an hour or so with [him]3592-this neighbour , even at [her]655-his mother busiest times ; [she]655-his mother says it is [her]655-his mother best refreshment . And often , [you]143-mr benson know , [she]655-his mother is disengaged for a week or two , except the occasional services which [she]655-his mother is always rendering to those who need [her]655-his mother . [Your]143-mr benson offer is very tempting , but there is so decidedly another view of the question to be considered , that [I]143-mr benson believe [we]6424-we must refer it to [her]655-his mother . "[143-mr benson] " With all [my]143-mr benson heart . Do n't hurry [her]655-his mother to a decision . Let [her]655-his mother weigh it well . [I]143-mr benson think [she]655-his mother will find the advantages preponderate . "[143-mr benson] " [I]193-mr farquhar wonder if [I]193-mr farquhar might trouble [you]143-mr benson with a little business , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , as [you]143-mr benson are here ? "[193-mr farquhar] " Certainly ; [I]143-mr benson am only too glad to be of any use to [you]143-mr benson . "[143-mr benson] " Why , [I]143-mr benson see from the report of the Star Life Assurance Company in the _ Times _ , which [you]143-mr benson are so good as to send [me]143-mr benson , that [they]6425-they have declared a bonus on the shares ; now it seems strange that [I]143-mr benson have received no notification of it , and [I]143-mr benson thought that perhaps it might be lying at [[your]143-mr benson office]6426-your office , as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was [the purchaser of the shares]6427-the purchaser of the shares , and [I]143-mr benson have always received the dividends through [[your]143-mr benson firm]6428-your firm . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar took the newspaper , and ran [his]193-mr farquhar eye over the report . " [I]193-mr farquhar 've no doubt that 's the way of it , "[193-mr farquhar] said [he]193-mr farquhar . " [Some of [[our]6430-our clerks]6431-our clerks]6429-some of our clerks have been careless about it ; or it may be [Richard]149-mr bradshaw [himself]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw is not always [the most punctual and exact of mortals]6432-the most punctual and exact of mortals ; but [I]193-mr farquhar 'll see about it . Perhaps after all it may n't come for a day or two ; [they]6429-some of our clerks have always such numbers of these circulars to send out . "[193-mr farquhar] " Oh ! [I]193-mr farquhar 'm in no hurry about it . [I]193-mr farquhar only want to receive it some time before [I]193-mr farquhar incur any expenses , which the promise of this bonus may tempt [me]193-mr farquhar to indulge in . "[193-mr farquhar] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar took [his]193-mr farquhar leave . That evening there was a long conference , for , as it happened , [Ruth]81-ruth was at [home]4124-home . [She]81-ruth was strenuously against the school plan . [She]81-ruth could see no advantages that would counterbalance the evil which [she]81-ruth dreaded from [any school for [Leonard]104-leonard]3606-any school for leonard ; namely , that the good opinion and regard of [the world]506-the world would assume too high an importance in [his]104-leonard eyes . The very idea seemed to produce in [her]81-ruth so much shrinking affright , that by mutual consent the subject was dropped ; to be taken up again , or not , according to circumstances . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar wrote the next morning , on [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's behalf , to [the Insurance Company]3608-the insurance company , to inquire about the bonus . Although [he]193-mr farquhar wrote in the usual formal way , [he]193-mr farquhar did not think it necessary to tell [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw what [he]193-mr farquhar had done ; for [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's name was rarely mentioned between [the partners]3609-the partners ; [each]2034-each had been made fully aware of the views which [the other]380-the other entertained on the subject that had caused the estrangement ; and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar felt that no external argument could affect [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's resolved disapproval and avoidance of [[his]193-mr farquhar former minister]3612-his former minister . As it happened , the answer from [the Insurance Company]3608-the insurance company ( directed to [the firm]5329-the firm ) was given to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw along with the other business letters . It was to the effect that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's shares had been sold and transferred above a twelvemonth ago , which sufficiently accounted for the circumstance that no notification of the bonus had been sent to [him]143-mr benson . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw tossed the letter on one side , not displeased to have a good reason for feeling a little contempt at the unbusiness - like forgetfulness of [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , at whose instance [some one]378-some one had evidently been writing to [the Insurance Company]3608-the insurance company . On [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's entrance [he]149-mr bradshaw expressed this feeling to [him]149-mr bradshaw . " Really , "[149-mr bradshaw] [he]149-mr bradshaw said , " [these Dissenting ministers]6433-these dissenting ministers have no more notion of exactitude in [their]6433-these dissenting ministers affairs than [a child]556-a child ! The idea of forgetting that [he]143-mr benson has sold [his]143-mr benson shares , and applying for the bonus , when it seems [he]143-mr benson has transferred them only a year ago ! "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was reading the letter while [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw spoke . " [I]149-mr bradshaw do n't quite understand it , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw . " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was quite clear about it . [He]143-mr benson could not have received [his]143-mr benson half - yearly dividends unless [he]143-mr benson had been possessed of these shares ; and [I]149-mr bradshaw do n't suppose [Dissenting ministers]6435-dissenting ministers , with all [their]6435-dissenting ministers ignorance of business , are unlike [other men]6133-other men in knowing whether or not [they]6435-dissenting ministers receive the money that [they]6435-dissenting ministers believe to be owing to [them]6435-dissenting ministers . "[149-mr bradshaw] " [I]149-mr bradshaw should not wonder if [they]6435-dissenting ministers were -- if [Benson]143-mr benson was , at any rate . Why , [I]149-mr bradshaw never knew [his]143-mr benson watch to be right in all [my]149-mr bradshaw life -- it was always too fast or too slow ; it must have been a daily discomfort to [him]143-mr benson . It ought to have been . Depend upon it , [his]143-mr benson money matters are just in the same irregular state ; no accounts kept , [I]149-mr bradshaw 'll be bound . "[149-mr bradshaw] " [I]193-mr farquhar do n't see that that follows , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , half amused . " That watch of [his]143-mr benson is a very curious one -- belonged to [[his]143-mr benson father]658-his father and [grandfather]6438-grandfather , [I]193-mr farquhar do n't know how far back . "[193-mr farquhar] " And the sentimental feelings which [he]143-mr benson is guided by prompt [him]143-mr benson to keep it , to the inconvenience of [himself]143-mr benson and [every one else]2841-every one else . "[193-mr farquhar] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar gave up the subject of the watch as hopeless . " But about this letter . [I]193-mr farquhar wrote , at [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's desire , to [the Insurance Office]6440-the insurance office , and [I]193-mr farquhar am not satisfied with this answer . All the transaction has passed through [our]6441-we hands . [I]193-mr farquhar do not think it is likely [Mr Benson]143-mr benson would write and sell the shares without , at any rate , informing [us]6441-we at the time , even though [he]143-mr benson forgot all about it afterwards . "[193-mr farquhar] " Probably [he]143-mr benson told [Richard]149-mr bradshaw , or [Mr Watson]267-mr watson . "[193-mr farquhar] " [We]6441-we can ask [Mr Watson]267-mr watson at once . [I]149-mr bradshaw am afraid [we]6441-we must wait till [Richard]149-mr bradshaw comes [home]4124-home , for [I]149-mr bradshaw do n't know where a letter would catch [him]143-mr benson . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw pulled the bell that rang into [[the head - clerk]3617-the head - clerk 's room]3618-the head - clerk 's room , saying as [he]149-mr bradshaw did so , " [You]193-mr farquhar may depend upon it , [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , the blunder lies with [Benson]143-mr benson [himself]143-mr benson . [He]143-mr benson is just the man to muddle away [his]143-mr benson money in indiscriminate charity , and then to wonder what has become of it . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was discreet enough to hold [his]193-mr farquhar tongue . " [Mr Watson]267-mr watson , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , as [the old clerk]3619-the old clerk made [his]3619-the old clerk appearance , " here is some mistake about those Insurance shares [we]6443-we purchased for [Benson]143-mr benson ten or a dozen years ago . [He]143-mr benson spoke to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar about some bonus [they]6444-they are paying to [the shareholders]6445-the shareholders , it seems ; and , in reply to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's letter , [the Insurance Company]3608-the insurance company say the shares were sold twelve months since . Have [you]267-mr watson any knowledge of the transaction ? Has the transfer passed through [your]267-mr watson hands ? By the way "[149-mr bradshaw] ( turning to [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ) , " who kept the certificates ? Did [Benson]143-mr benson or [we]6443-we ? "[149-mr bradshaw] " [I]193-mr farquhar really do n't know , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . " Perhaps [Mr Watson]267-mr watson can tell [us]6443-we . "[193-mr farquhar] [Mr Watson]267-mr watson meanwhile was studying the letter . When [he]267-mr watson had ended it , [he]267-mr watson took off [his]267-mr watson spectacles , wiped them , and replacing them , [he]267-mr watson read it again . " It seems very strange , [sir]4181-sir , "[267-mr watson] [he]267-mr watson said at length , with [his]267-mr watson trembling , aged voice , " for [I]267-mr watson paid [Mr Benson]143-mr benson the account of the dividends [myself]267-mr watson last June , and got a receipt in form , and that is since the date of the alleged transfer . "[267-mr watson] " Pretty nearly twelve months after it took place , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . " How did [you]143-mr benson receive the dividends ? An order on [the Bank]3464-the bank , along with [old Mrs Cranmer]268-old mrs cranmer 's ? "[149-mr bradshaw] asked [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , sharply . " [I]149-mr bradshaw do n't know how [they]6449-they came . [Mr Richard]149-mr bradshaw gave [me]149-mr bradshaw the money , and desired [me]149-mr bradshaw to get the receipt . "[149-mr bradshaw] " It 's unlucky [Richard]149-mr bradshaw is from [home]4124-home , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . " [He]149-mr bradshaw could have cleared up this mystery for [us]6451-us . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was silent . " Do [you]143-mr benson know where the certificates were kept , [Mr Watson]267-mr watson ? "[193-mr farquhar] said [he]193-mr farquhar . " [I]193-mr farquhar 'll not be sure , but [I]193-mr farquhar think [they]6449-they were with [Mrs Cranmer]268-old mrs cranmer 's papers and deeds in box A , 24 . "[193-mr farquhar] " [I]149-mr bradshaw wish [old Cranmer]268-old mrs cranmer would have made [any other man]6452-any other man [[his]6452-any other man executor]6453-his executor . [She]268-old mrs cranmer , too , is always coming with some unreasonable request or other . "[149-mr bradshaw] " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's inquiry about [his]143-mr benson bonus is perfectly reasonable , at any rate . "[267-mr watson] [Mr Watson]267-mr watson , who was dwelling in the slow fashion of age on what had been said before , now spoke : " [I]267-mr watson 'll not be sure , but [I]267-mr watson am almost certain , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson said , when [I]267-mr watson paid [him]143-mr benson last June , that [he]143-mr benson thought [he]143-mr benson ought to give the receipt on a stamp , and had spoken about it to [Mr Richard]149-mr bradshaw the time before , but that [Mr Richard]149-mr bradshaw said it was of no consequence . Yes , "[267-mr watson] continued [he]267-mr watson , gathering up [his]267-mr watson memory as [he]267-mr watson went on , " [he]149-mr bradshaw did -- [I]267-mr watson remember now -- and [I]267-mr watson thought to [myself]267-mr watson that [Mr Richard]149-mr bradshaw was but [a young man]824-a young man . [Mr Richard]149-mr bradshaw will know all about it . "[267-mr watson] " Yes , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , gravely . " [I]149-mr bradshaw sha n't wait till [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's return , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . " [We]6455-we can soon see if the certificates are in the box [Watson]267-mr watson points out ; if they are there , [the Insurance people]6456-the insurance people are no more fit to manage [their]6456-the insurance people concern than that cat , and [I]149-mr bradshaw shall tell [them]6456-the insurance people so . If [they]6456-the insurance people are not there ( as [I]149-mr bradshaw suspect will prove to be the case ) , it is just forgetfulness on [Benson]143-mr benson 's part , as [I]149-mr bradshaw have said from the first . "[149-mr bradshaw] " [You]269-mr farquhar's forget the payment of the dividends , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , in a low voice . " Well , [sir]4181-sir ! what then ? "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , abruptly . While [he]149-mr bradshaw spoke -- while [his]149-mr bradshaw eye met [Mr Farquhar's]269-mr farquhar's -- the hinted meaning of the latter flashed through [his]149-mr bradshaw mind ; but [he]149-mr bradshaw was only made angry to find that such a suspicion could pass through [any one]425-any one 's imagination . " [I]267-mr watson suppose [I]267-mr watson may go , [sir]4181-sir , "[267-mr watson] said [Watson]267-mr watson , respectfully , an uneasy consciousness of what was in [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's thoughts troubling [the faithful old clerk]3621-the faithful old clerk . " Yes . Go . What do [you]193-mr farquhar mean about the dividends ? "[149-mr bradshaw] asked [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , impetuously of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . " Simply , that [I]193-mr farquhar think there can have been no forgetfulness -- no mistake on [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's part , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , unwilling to put [his]193-mr farquhar dim suspicion into words . " Then of course it is some blunder of [that confounded Insurance Company]6459-that confounded insurance company . [I]193-mr farquhar will write to [them]6459-that confounded insurance company to - day , and make [them]6459-that confounded insurance company a little brisker and more correct in [their]6459-that confounded insurance company statements . "[193-mr farquhar] " Do n't [you]149-mr bradshaw think it would be better to wait till [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's return ? [He]149-mr bradshaw may be able to explain it . "[149-mr bradshaw] " No , [sir]4181-sir ! "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , sharply . " [I]149-mr bradshaw do not think it would be better . It has not been [my]149-mr bradshaw way of doing business to spare [any one]425-any one , or [any company]6462-any company , the consequences of [their]6459-that confounded insurance company own carelessness ; nor to obtain information second - hand when [I]149-mr bradshaw could have it direct from the source . [I]149-mr bradshaw shall write to [the Insurance Office]6440-the insurance office by the next post . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar saw that any further remonstrance on [his]193-mr farquhar part would only aggravate [[his]193-mr farquhar partner]2434-his partner 's obstinacy ; and , besides , it was but a suspicion -- an uncomfortable suspicion . It was possible that [some of [the clerks at [the Insurance Office]6440-the insurance office]3624-the clerks at the insurance office]3623-some of the clerks at the insurance office might have made a mistake . [Watson]267-mr watson was not sure , after all , that the certificates had been deposited in [box A]3626-box a , 24 ; and when [he]267-mr watson and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar could not find them [there]332-there , [the old man]879-the old man drew more and yet more back from [his]879-the old man first assertion of belief that they had been placed [there]332-there . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw wrote an angry and indignant reproach of carelessness to [the Insurance Company]3608-the insurance company . By the next mail [one of [[their]3608-the insurance company clerks]3632-their clerks]3631-one of their clerks came down to [Eccleston]36-eccleston ; and having leisurely refreshed [himself]3631-one of their clerks at [the inn]1055-the inn , and ordered [his]3631-one of their clerks dinner with care , [he]3631-one of their clerks walked up to [the great warehouse of [Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw and [Co.]213-co.]3634-the great warehouse of bradshaw and co. , and sent in [his]3631-one of their clerks card , with a pencil notification , " On the part of [the Star Insurance Company]6464-the star insurance company , "[3631-one of their clerks] to [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw [himself]3631-one of their clerks . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw held the card in [his]149-mr bradshaw hand for a minute or two without raising [his]149-mr bradshaw eyes . Then [he]149-mr bradshaw spoke out loud and firm : " Desire [the gentleman]469-the gentleman to walk up . Stay ! [I]149-mr bradshaw will ring [my]149-mr bradshaw bell in a minute or two , and then show [him]469-the gentleman [upstairs]1186-upstairs . "[149-mr bradshaw] When [the errand - boy]3635-the errand - boy had closed the door , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw went to a cupboard where [he]149-mr bradshaw usually kept a glass and a bottle of wine ( of which [he]149-mr bradshaw very seldom partook , for [he]149-mr bradshaw was [an abstemious man]3636-an abstemious man ) . [He]149-mr bradshaw intended now to take a glass , but the bottle was empty ; and though there was plenty more to be had for ringing , or even simply going into [another room]3637-another room , [he]149-mr bradshaw would not allow [himself]149-mr bradshaw to do this . [He]149-mr bradshaw stood and lectured [himself]149-mr bradshaw in thought . " After all , [I]149-mr bradshaw am [a fool]5208-a fool for once in [my]149-mr bradshaw life . If the certificates are in no box which [I]149-mr bradshaw have yet examined , that does not imply they may not be in some one which [I]149-mr bradshaw have not had time to search . [Farquhar]193-mr farquhar would stay so late last night ! And even if they are in none of the boxes here , that does not prove-- "[149-mr bradshaw] [He]149-mr bradshaw gave the bell a jerking ring , and it was yet sounding when [Mr Smith]103-smith , [the insurance clerk]3638-the insurance clerk , entered . [The manager of [the Insurance Company]3608-the insurance company]3639-the manager of the insurance company had been considerably nettled at the tone of [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's letter ; and had instructed [the clerk]3641-the clerk to assume some dignity at first in vindicating ( as it was well in [his]149-mr bradshaw power to do ) the character of the proceedings of [the Company]3642-the company , but at the same time [he]149-mr bradshaw was not to go too far , for [the firm of Bradshaw and Co.]3643-the firm of bradshaw and co. was daily looming larger in the commercial world , and if any reasonable explanation could be given it was to be received , and bygones be bygones . " Sit down , [sir]4181-sir ! "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . " [You]4181-sir are aware , [sir]4181-sir , [I]149-mr bradshaw presume , that [I]149-mr bradshaw come on the part of [Mr Dennison]270-mr dennison , [the manager of [the Star Insurance Company]6464-the star insurance company]6470-the manager of the star insurance company , to reply in person to a letter of [yours]4181-sir , of [the 29th]6472-the 29th , addressed to [him]270-mr dennison ? "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw bowed . " A very careless piece of business , "[149-mr bradshaw] [he]149-mr bradshaw said , stiffly . " [Mr Dennison]270-mr dennison does not think [you]4181-sir will consider it as such when [you]4181-sir have seen the deed of transfer , which [I]149-mr bradshaw am commissioned to show [you]4181-sir . "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw took the deed with a steady hand . [He]149-mr bradshaw wiped [his]149-mr bradshaw spectacles quietly , without delay , and without hurry , and adjusted them on [his]149-mr bradshaw nose . It is possible that [he]149-mr bradshaw was rather long in looking over the document -- at least , [the clerk]3641-the clerk had just begun to wonder if [he]149-mr bradshaw was reading through the whole of it , instead of merely looking at the signature , when [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw said : " It is possible that it may be -- of course , [you]4181-sir will allow [me]149-mr bradshaw to take this paper to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , to -- to inquire if this be [his]143-mr benson signature ? "[149-mr bradshaw] " There can be no doubt of it , [I]3641-the clerk think , [sir]4181-sir , "[3641-the clerk] said [the clerk]3641-the clerk , calmly smiling , for [he]3641-the clerk knew [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's signature well . " [I]3641-the clerk do n't know , [sir]4181-sir -- [I]3641-the clerk do n't know . "[3641-the clerk] ( [He]149-mr bradshaw was speaking as if the pronunciation of every word required a separate effort of will , like [a man who has received a slight paralytic stroke]3646-a man who has received a slight paralytic stroke . ) " [You]4181-sir have heard , [sir]4181-sir , of such a thing as forgery -- forgery , [sir]4181-sir ? "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw , repeating the last word very distinctly ; for [he]149-mr bradshaw feared that the first time [he]149-mr bradshaw had said it , it was rather slurred over . " Oh , [sir]4181-sir ! there is no room for imagining such a thing , [I]149-mr bradshaw assure [you]4181-sir . In [our]6478-our affairs [we]6478-our become aware of curious forgetfulness on the part of [those who are not of business habits]6479-those who are not of business habits . "[149-mr bradshaw] " Still [I]149-mr bradshaw should like to show it [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , to prove to [him]143-mr benson [his]143-mr benson forgetfulness , [you]4181-sir know . [I]149-mr bradshaw believe , on [my]149-mr bradshaw soul , it is some of [his]143-mr benson careless forgetfulness -- [I]149-mr bradshaw do , [sir]4181-sir , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw . Now [he]149-mr bradshaw spoke very quickly . " It must have been . Allow [me]149-mr bradshaw to convince [myself]149-mr bradshaw . [You]4181-sir shall have it back to - night , or the first thing in the morning . "[149-mr bradshaw] [The clerk]3641-the clerk did not quite like to relinquish the deed , nor yet did [he]3641-the clerk like to refuse [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . If that very uncomfortable idea of forgery should have any foundation in truth -- and [he]149-mr bradshaw had given up the writing ! There were a thousand chances to one against its being anything but a stupid blunder ; the risk was more imminent of offending [one of [the directors]3649-the directors]3648-one of the directors . As [he]149-mr bradshaw hesitated , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw spoke , very calmly , and almost with a smile on [his]149-mr bradshaw face . [He]149-mr bradshaw had regained [his]149-mr bradshaw self - command . " [You]4181-sir are afraid , [I]149-mr bradshaw see . [I]149-mr bradshaw assure [you]4181-sir , [you]4181-sir may trust [me]149-mr bradshaw . If there has been any fraud -- if [I]149-mr bradshaw have the slightest suspicion of the truth of the surmise [I]149-mr bradshaw threw out just now,"--he[149-mr bradshaw] could not quite speak the bare naked word that was chilling [his]149-mr bradshaw heart--"I will not fail to aid the ends of justice , even though [the culprit]6481-the culprit should be [[my]149-mr bradshaw own son]6482-my own son . "[149-mr bradshaw] [He]149-mr bradshaw ended , as [he]149-mr bradshaw began , with a smile -- such a smile!--the stiff lips refused to relax and cover the teeth . But all the time [he]149-mr bradshaw kept saying to [himself]149-mr bradshaw : " [I]149-mr bradshaw do n't believe it -- [I]149-mr bradshaw do n't believe it . [I]149-mr bradshaw 'm convinced it 's a blunder of [that old fool]6483-that old fool [Benson]143-mr benson . "[149-mr bradshaw] But when [he]149-mr bradshaw had dismissed [the clerk]3641-the clerk , and secured the piece of paper , [he]149-mr bradshaw went and locked the door , and laid [his]149-mr bradshaw head on [his]149-mr bradshaw desk , and moaned aloud . [He]149-mr bradshaw had lingered in [the office]3651-the office for the two previous nights ; at first , occupying [himself]149-mr bradshaw in searching for the certificates of the Insurance shares ; but , when all the boxes and other repositories for papers had been ransacked , the thought took hold of [him]149-mr bradshaw that they might be in [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's private desk ; and , with the determination which overlooks the means to get at the end , [he]149-mr bradshaw had first tried all [his]149-mr bradshaw own keys on the complicated lock , and then broken it open with two decided blows of a poker , the instrument nearest at hand . [He]149-mr bradshaw did not find the certificates . [Richard]149-mr bradshaw had always considered [himself]149-mr bradshaw careful in destroying any dangerous or tell - tale papers ; but [the stern father]3652-the stern father found enough , in what remained , to convince [him]149-mr bradshaw that [[his]3652-the stern father pattern son]3653-his pattern son -- more even than [[his]3652-the stern father pattern son]3653-his pattern son , [[his]3652-the stern father beloved pride]3655-his beloved pride -- was far other than what [he]3653-his pattern son seemed . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw did not skip or miss a word . [He]149-mr bradshaw did not shrink while [he]149-mr bradshaw read . [He]149-mr bradshaw folded up letter by letter ; [he]149-mr bradshaw snuffed the candle just when its light began to wane , and no sooner ; but [he]149-mr bradshaw did not miss or omit one paper -- [he]149-mr bradshaw read every word . Then , leaving the letters in a heap upon the table , and the broken desk to tell its own tale , [he]149-mr bradshaw locked the door of [the room]357-the room which was appropriated to [[his]149-mr bradshaw son]3657-his son as [junior partner]3658-junior partner , and carried the key away with [him]149-mr bradshaw . There was a faint hope , even after this discovery of many circumstances of [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's life which shocked and dismayed [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father -- there was still a faint hope that [he]149-mr bradshaw might not be guilty of forgery -- that it might be no forgery after all -- only a blunder -- an omission -- a stupendous piece of forgetfulness . That hope was the one straw that [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw clung to . Late that night [Mr Benson]143-mr benson sat in [[his]143-mr benson study]1727-his study . [Every one else in [the house]426-the house]3661-every one else in the house had gone to bed ; but [he]143-mr benson was expecting a summons to [someone who was dangerously ill]3663-someone who was dangerously ill . [He]143-mr benson was not startled , therefore , at the knock which came to the front door about twelve ; but [he]143-mr benson was rather surprised at the character of the knock , so slow and loud , with a pause between each rap . [[His]143-mr benson study]1727-his study - door was but a step from that which led into [the street]347-the street . [He]143-mr benson opened it , and there stood -- [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ; [his]149-mr bradshaw large , portly figure not to be mistaken even in the dusky night . [He]143-mr benson said , " That is right . It was [you]149-mr bradshaw [I]143-mr benson wanted to see . "[143-mr benson] And [he]143-mr benson walked straight into [the study]1738-the study . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson followed , and shut the door . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was standing by the table , fumbling in [his]149-mr bradshaw pocket . [He]149-mr bradshaw pulled out the deed ; and opening it , after a pause , in which [you]3667-you might have counted five , [he]149-mr bradshaw held it out to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " Read it ! "[149-mr bradshaw] said [he]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw spoke not another word until time had been allowed for its perusal . Then [he]149-mr bradshaw added : " That is [your]143-mr benson signature ? "[149-mr bradshaw] The words were an assertion , but the tone was that of question . " No , it is not , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , decidedly . " It is very like [my]143-mr benson writing . [I]143-mr benson could almost say it was [mine]143-mr benson , but [I]143-mr benson know it is not . "[143-mr benson] " Recollect [yourself]3667-you a little . The date is August the third of last year , fourteen months ago . [You]3667-you may have forgotten it . "[149-mr bradshaw] The tone of the voice had a kind of eager entreaty in it , which [Mr Benson]143-mr benson did not notice,--he was so startled at the fetch of [his]143-mr benson own writing . " It is most singularly like [mine]143-mr benson ; but [I]143-mr benson could not have signed away these shares -- all the property [I]143-mr benson have -- without the slightest remembrance of it . "[143-mr benson] " Stranger things have happened . For the love of [Heaven]56-heaven , think if [you]3667-you did not sign it . It 's a deed of transfer for those Insurance shares , [you]3667-you see . [You]3667-you do n't remember it ? [You]3667-you did not write this name -- these words ? "[149-mr bradshaw] [He]149-mr bradshaw looked at [Mr Benson]143-mr benson with craving wistfulness for one particular answer . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was struck at last by the whole proceeding , and glanced anxiously at [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , whose manner , gait , and voice were so different from usual that [he]149-mr bradshaw might well excite attention . But as soon as [the latter]1745-the latter was aware of this momentary inspection , [he]149-mr bradshaw changed [his]149-mr bradshaw tone all at once . " Do n't imagine , [sir]4181-sir , [I]149-mr bradshaw wish to force any invention upon [you]4181-sir as a remembrance . If [you]4181-sir did not write this name , [I]149-mr bradshaw know who did . Once more [I]149-mr bradshaw ask you,--does no glimmering recollection of -- having needed money , [we]6485-we 'll say -- [I]149-mr bradshaw never wanted [you]4181-sir to refuse [my]149-mr bradshaw subscription to [the chapel]1865-the chapel , [God]6487-god knows!--of having sold these accursed shares?--Oh ! [I]149-mr bradshaw see by [your]4181-sir face [you]4181-sir did not write it ; [you]4181-sir need not speak to [me]149-mr bradshaw -- [I]149-mr bradshaw know . "[149-mr bradshaw] [He]149-mr bradshaw sank down into a chair near [him]149-mr bradshaw . [His]149-mr bradshaw whole figure drooped . In a moment [he]149-mr bradshaw was up , and standing straight as an arrow , confronting [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , who could find no clue to [this stern man]3669-this stern man 's agitation . " [You]143-mr benson say [you]143-mr benson did not write these words ? "[143-mr benson] pointing to the signature , with an untrembling finger . " [I]143-mr benson believe [you]4181-sir ; [Richard Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw did write them . "[143-mr benson] " [[My]143-mr benson dear [sir]4181-sir]6488-my dear sir -- [[my]143-mr benson dear old friend]6490-my dear old friend ! "[143-mr benson] exclaimed [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , " [you]4181-sir are rushing to a conclusion for which , [I]143-mr benson am convinced , there is no foundation ; there is no reason to suppose that because-- "[143-mr benson] " There is reason , [sir]4181-sir . Do not distress [yourself]4181-sir -- [I]149-mr bradshaw am perfectly calm . "[149-mr bradshaw] [His]149-mr bradshaw stony eyes and immovable face did indeed look rigid . " What [we]6492-we have now to do is to punish the offence . [I]143-mr benson have not one standard for [myself]143-mr benson and those [I]143-mr benson love--(and , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , [I]143-mr benson did love [him)--and]6493-him)--and another for the rest of [the world]506-the world . If [a stranger]2130-a stranger had forged [my]143-mr benson name , [I]143-mr benson should have known it was [my]143-mr benson duty to prosecute [him]2130-a stranger . [You]143-mr benson must prosecute [Richard]149-mr bradshaw . "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson will not , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " [You]143-mr benson think , perhaps , that [I]143-mr benson shall feel it acutely . [You]143-mr benson are mistaken . [He]149-mr bradshaw is no longer as [[my]143-mr benson son]1320-my son to [me]143-mr benson . [I]143-mr benson have always resolved to disown [any child of mine who was guilty of sin]6497-any child of mine who was guilty of sin . [I]143-mr benson disown [Richard]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw is as [a stranger to [me]143-mr benson]6498-a stranger to me . [I]143-mr benson shall feel no more at [his]149-mr bradshaw exposure -- [his]149-mr bradshaw punishment-- "[143-mr benson] [He]143-mr benson could not go on , for [his]143-mr benson voice was choking . " Of course , [you]143-mr benson understand that [I]143-mr benson must feel shame at [our]6499-our connexion ; it is that that is troubling [me]143-mr benson ; that is but consistent with [a man who has always prided [himself]6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name on the integrity of [his]6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name name]6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name ; but as for [that boy]6320-that boy , who has been brought up all [his]6500-a man who has always prided himself on the integrity of his name life as [I]143-mr benson have brought up [[my]143-mr benson children]6502-my children , it must be some innate wickedness ! [Sir]4181-sir , [I]143-mr benson can cut [him]6320-that boy off , though [he]6320-that boy has been as [[my]143-mr benson right hand]6504-my right hand -- beloved . Let [me]143-mr benson be no hindrance to the course of justice , [I]143-mr benson beg . [He]6320-that boy has forged [your]4181-sir name -- [he]6320-that boy has defrauded [you]4181-sir of money -- of [your]4181-sir all , [I]143-mr benson think [you]4181-sir said . "[143-mr benson] " [Someone]6505-someone has forged [my]143-mr benson name . [I]143-mr benson am not convinced that it was [[your]4181-sir son]1455-your son . Until [I]143-mr benson know all the circumstances , [I]143-mr benson decline to prosecute . "[143-mr benson] " What circumstances ? "[149-mr bradshaw] asked [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , in an authoritative manner , which would have shown irritation but for [his]149-mr bradshaw self - command . " The force of the temptation -- the previous habits of [the person--]6507-the person-- "[149-mr bradshaw] " Of [Richard]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw is [the person]1983-the person , "[149-mr bradshaw] [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw put in . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson went on , without taking any notice . " [I]143-mr benson should think it right to prosecute , if [I]143-mr benson found out that this offence against [me]143-mr benson was only one of a series committed , with premeditation , against [society]6509-society . [I]143-mr benson should then feel , as a protector of others more helpless than [myself--]143-mr benson "[143-mr benson] " It was [your]143-mr benson all , "[149-mr bradshaw] said [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . " It was all [my]143-mr benson money ; it was not [my]143-mr benson all , "[143-mr benson] replied [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ; and then [he]143-mr benson went on as if the interruption had never been : " Against [an habitual offender]6510-an habitual offender . [I]143-mr benson shall not prosecute [Richard]149-mr bradshaw . Not because [he]149-mr bradshaw is [[your]143-mr benson son]1455-your son -- do not imagine that ! [I]143-mr benson should decline taking such a step against [any young man]6359-any young man without first ascertaining the particulars about [him]149-mr bradshaw , which [I]143-mr benson know already about [Richard]149-mr bradshaw , and which determine [me]143-mr benson against doing what would blast [his]149-mr bradshaw character for life -- would destroy every good quality [he]149-mr bradshaw has . "[143-mr benson] " What good quality remains to [him]149-mr bradshaw ? "[149-mr bradshaw] asked [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw . " [He]149-mr bradshaw has deceived [me]143-mr benson -- [he]149-mr bradshaw has offended [God]104-leonard . "[143-mr benson] " Have [we]6513-we not all offended [Him]149-mr bradshaw ? "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson said , in a low tone . " Not consciously . [I]143-mr benson never do wrong consciously . But [Richard]149-mr bradshaw -- [Richard]149-mr bradshaw . "[143-mr benson] The remembrance of the undeceiving letters -- the forgery -- filled up [his]143-mr benson heart so completely that [he]143-mr benson could not speak for a minute or two . Yet when [he]143-mr benson saw [Mr Benson]143-mr benson on the point of saying something , [he]143-mr benson broke in : " It is no use talking , [sir]4181-sir . [You]4181-sir and [I]143-mr benson can not agree on these subjects . Once more , [I]143-mr benson desire [you]4181-sir to prosecute [that boy]6320-that boy , who is no longer [a child of [mine]143-mr benson]6516-a child of mine . "[143-mr benson] " [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , [I]143-mr benson shall not prosecute [him]6320-that boy . [I]143-mr benson have said it once for all . To - morrow [you]149-mr bradshaw will be glad that [I]143-mr benson do not listen to [you]149-mr bradshaw . [I]143-mr benson should only do harm by saying more at present . "[143-mr benson] There is always something aggravating in being told , that the mood in which [we]3670-our are now viewing things strongly will not be [our]3670-our mood at some other time . It implies that [our]3670-our present feelings are blinding [us]3670-our , and that [some more clear - sighted spectator]3671-some more clear - sighted spectator is able to distinguish [our]3670-our future better than [we]3670-our do [ourselves]3670-our . [The most shallow person]3672-the most shallow person dislikes to be told that [any one]425-any one can gauge [his]3672-the most shallow person depth . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was not soothed by this last remark of [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's . [He]149-mr bradshaw stooped down to take up [his]149-mr bradshaw hat and be gone . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw [his]149-mr bradshaw dizzy way of groping , and gave [him]149-mr bradshaw what [he]149-mr bradshaw sought for ; but [he]149-mr bradshaw received no word of thanks . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw went silently towards the door , but , just as [he]149-mr bradshaw got there , [he]149-mr bradshaw turned round , and said : " If there were [more people like [me]149-mr bradshaw]6517-more people like me , and fewer like [you]149-mr bradshaw , there would be less evil in [the world]506-the world , [sir]4181-sir . It 's [[your]149-mr bradshaw sentimentalists]6520-your sentimentalists that nurse up sin . "[149-mr bradshaw] Although [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had been very calm during this interview , [he]143-mr benson had been much shocked by what had been let out respecting [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's forgery ; not by the fact itself so much as by what it was a sign of . Still , [he]143-mr benson had known [the young man]2393-the young man from childhood , and had seen , and often regretted , that [his]2393-the young man want of moral courage had rendered [him]2393-the young man peculiarly liable to all the bad effects arising from [[his]2393-the young man father]658-his father 's severe and arbitrary mode of treatment . [Dick]214-dick would never have had " pluck "[143-mr benson] enough to be [a hardened villain]3676-a hardened villain , under any circumstances ; but , unless some good influence , some strength , was brought to bear upon [him]2393-the young man , [he]2393-the young man might easily sink into [the sneaking scoundrel]3677-the sneaking scoundrel . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson determined to go to [[Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's]3678-mr farquhar 's the first thing in the morning , and consult [him]193-mr farquhar as [a calm , clear - headed family friend -- partner in the business]3679-a calm , clear - headed family friend -- partner in the business , as well as [son]3680-son and [brother - in - law to [the people concerned]3682-the people concerned]3681-brother - in - law to the people concerned . CHAPTER XXXI An Accident to [the Dover Coach]3683-the dover coach While [Mr Benson]143-mr benson lay awake for fear of oversleeping [himself]143-mr benson , and so being late at [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's ( it was somewhere about six o'clock -- dark as an October morning is at that time ) , [Sally]148-sally came to [his]143-mr benson door and knocked . [She]148-sally was always [an early riser]3684-an early riser ; and if [she]148-sally had not been gone to bed long before [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's visit last night , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson might safely have trusted to [her]148-sally calling [him]143-mr benson . " Here 's [a woman down below]6521-a woman down below as must see [you]143-mr benson directly . [She]6521-a woman down below 'll be [upstairs]1186-upstairs after [me]143-mr benson if [you]143-mr benson 're not down quick . "[143-mr benson] " Is it any one from [Clarke]272-clarke 's ? "[148-sally] " No , no ! not it , [master]4301-master , "[148-sally] said [she]148-sally , through the keyhole ; " [I]148-sally reckon it 's [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , for all [she]6521-a woman down below 's muffled up . "[148-sally] [He]143-mr benson needed no other word . When [he]143-mr benson went down , [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw sat in [his]143-mr benson easy - chair , swaying [her]151-mrs bradshaw body to and fro , and crying without restraint . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson came up to [her]151-mrs bradshaw , before [she]151-mrs bradshaw was aware that [he]143-mr benson was there . " Oh ! [sir]4181-sir , "[148-sally] said [she]148-sally , getting up and taking hold of both [his]143-mr benson hands , " [you]143-mr benson wo n't be so cruel , will [you]143-mr benson ? [I]148-sally have got some money somewhere -- some money [[my]148-sally father]4925-my father settled on [me]148-sally , [sir]4181-sir ; [I]148-sally do n't know how much , but [I]148-sally think it 's more than two thousand pounds , and [you]143-mr benson shall have it all . If [I]148-sally ca n't give it [you]143-mr benson now , [I]148-sally 'll make a will , [sir]4181-sir . Only be merciful to poor [Dick]214-dick -- don't go and prosecute [him]214-dick , [sir]4181-sir . "[148-sally] " [[My]143-mr benson dear]4145-my dear [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , do n't agitate [yourself]143-mr benson in this way . [I]143-mr benson never meant to prosecute [him]214-dick . "[143-mr benson] " But [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw says that [you]143-mr benson must . "[148-sally] " [I]148-sally shall not , indeed . [I]148-sally have told [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw so . "[148-sally] " Has [he]214-dick been [here]4172-here ? Oh ! is not [he]214-dick cruel ? [I]143-mr benson do n't care . [I]143-mr benson 've been [a good wife]6531-a good wife till now . [I]143-mr benson know [I]143-mr benson have . [I]143-mr benson have done all [he]149-mr bradshaw bid [me]143-mr benson , ever since [we]6532-we were married . But now [I]143-mr benson will speak [my]143-mr benson mind , and say to [everybody]505-everybody how cruel [he]214-dick is -- how hard to [his]214-dick own flesh and blood ! If [he]149-mr bradshaw puts poor [Dick]214-dick in [prison]6534-prison , [I]143-mr benson will go too . If [I]143-mr benson 'm to choose between [[my]143-mr benson husband]6535-my husband and [[my]143-mr benson son]1320-my son , [I]143-mr benson choose [[my]143-mr benson son]1320-my son ; for [he]1320-my son will have [no friends]690-no friends , unless [I]143-mr benson am with [him]1320-my son . "[143-mr benson] " [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw will think better of it . [You]3685-i will see that , when [his]149-mr bradshaw first anger and disappointment are over , [he]149-mr bradshaw will not be hard or cruel . "[148-sally] " [You]149-mr bradshaw do n't know [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , "[3685-i] said [she]3685-i , mournfully , " if [you]149-mr bradshaw think [he]149-mr bradshaw 'll change . [I]3685-i might beg and beg -- [I]3685-i have done many a time , when [we]6539-we had [little children]2014-little children , and [I]3685-i wanted to save [them]2014-little children a whipping -- but no begging ever did any good . At last [I]3685-i left it off . [He]149-mr bradshaw 'll not change . "[3685-i] " Perhaps not for human entreaty . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , is there nothing more powerful ? "[3686-his] The tone of [his]3686-his voice suggested what [he]3686-his did not say . " If [you]149-mr bradshaw mean that [God]104-leonard may soften [his]3686-his heart , "[3685-i] replied [she]3685-i , humbly , " [I]3685-i 'm not going to deny [God]104-leonard 's power -- [I]3685-i have need to think of [Him]149-mr bradshaw , "[3685-i] [she]3685-i continued , bursting into fresh tears , " for [I]3685-i am [a very miserable woman]6541-a very miserable woman . Only think ! [he]149-mr bradshaw cast it up against [me]3685-i last night , and said , if [I]3685-i had not spoilt [Dick]214-dick this never would have happened . "[3685-i] " [He]149-mr bradshaw hardly knew what [he]149-mr bradshaw was saying last night . [I]3687-he will go to [[Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's directly]6542-mr farquhar 's directly , and see [him]149-mr bradshaw ; and [you]3688-her had better go [home]4124-home , [[my]3687-he dear]4145-my dear [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw ; [you]3688-her may rely upon [our]6545-our doing all that [we]6545-our can . "[3687-he] With some difficulty [he]3687-he persuaded [her]3688-her not to accompany [him]3687-he to [[Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's]3678-mr farquhar 's ; but [he]3687-he had , indeed , to take [her]3688-her to [her]3688-her own door before [he]3687-he could convince [her]3688-her that , at present , [she]3688-her could do nothing but wait the result of the consultation of [others]368-others . It was before breakfast , and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was alone ; so [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had a quiet opportunity of telling the whole story to [the husband]861-the husband before [the wife]3692-the wife came down . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar was not much surprised , though greatly distressed . The general opinion [he]193-mr farquhar had always entertained of [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's character had predisposed [him]193-mr farquhar to fear , even before the inquiry respecting the Insurance shares . But it was still a shock when it came , however much it might have been anticipated . " What can [we]6546-we do ? "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , as [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar sat gloomily silent . " That is just what [I]193-mr farquhar was asking [myself]193-mr farquhar . [I]193-mr farquhar think [I]193-mr farquhar must see [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , and try and bring [him]149-mr bradshaw a little out of this unmerciful frame of mind . That must be the first thing . Will [you]193-mr farquhar object to accompany [me]193-mr farquhar at once ? It seems of particular consequence that [we]6546-we should subdue [his]149-mr bradshaw obduracy before the affair gets wind . "[193-mr farquhar] " [I]143-mr benson will go with [you]193-mr farquhar willingly . But [I]143-mr benson believe [I]143-mr benson rather serve to irritate [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw ; [he]149-mr bradshaw is reminded of things [he]149-mr bradshaw has said to [me]143-mr benson formerly , and which [he]149-mr bradshaw thinks [he]149-mr bradshaw is bound to act up to . However , [I]143-mr benson can walk with [you]193-mr farquhar to the door , and wait for [you]193-mr farquhar ( if [you]193-mr farquhar 'll allow [me]143-mr benson ) in [the street]347-the street . [I]143-mr benson want to know how [he]149-mr bradshaw is to - day , both bodily and mentally ; for indeed , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , [I]143-mr benson should not have been surprised last night if [he]149-mr bradshaw had dropped down dead , so terrible was [his]149-mr bradshaw strain upon [himself]149-mr bradshaw . "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was left at the door as [he]143-mr benson had desired , while [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar went in . " Oh , [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , what is the matter ? "[414-the girls] exclaimed [the girls]414-the girls , running to [him]193-mr farquhar . " [Mamma]113-mamma sits crying in [the old nursery]6548-the old nursery . [We]414-the girls believe [she]113-mamma has been [there]332-there all night . [She]113-mamma will not tell [us]414-the girls what it is , nor let [us]414-the girls be with [her]113-mamma ; and [papa]4310-papa is locked up in [[his]4310-papa room]4528-his room , and wo n't even answer [us]414-the girls when [we]414-the girls speak , though [we]414-the girls know [he]4310-papa is up and awake , for [we]414-the girls heard [him]4310-papa tramping about all night . "[414-the girls] " Let [me]193-mr farquhar go up to [him]4310-papa , "[193-mr farquhar] said [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar . " [He]4310-papa wo n't let [you]3694-their in . It will be of no use . "[193-mr farquhar] But in spite of what [they]3694-their said , [he]193-mr farquhar went up ; and to [their]3694-their surprise , after hearing who it was , [[their]3694-their father]2183-their father opened the door , and admitted [[their]3694-their brother - in - law]3696-their brother - in - law . [He]193-mr farquhar remained with [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw about half an hour , and then came into [the dining - room]5320-the dining - room , where [the two girls]2614-the two girls stood huddled over the fire , regardless of the untasted breakfast behind [them]3694-their ; and , writing a few lines , [he]193-mr farquhar desired [them]2614-the two girls to take [his]193-mr farquhar note up to [[their]3694-their mother]2532-their mother , saying it would comfort [her]2532-their mother a little , and that [he]193-mr farquhar should send [Jemima]217-jemima , in two or three hours , with [the baby]1144-the baby -- perhaps to remain some days with [them]2614-the two girls . [He]193-mr farquhar had no time to tell [them]2614-the two girls more ; [Jemima]217-jemima would . [He]193-mr farquhar left [them]2614-the two girls , and rejoined [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " Come [home]4124-home and breakfast with [me]193-mr farquhar . [I]193-mr farquhar am off to [London]3-london in an hour or two , and must speak with [you]2614-the two girls first . "[193-mr farquhar] On reaching [[his]193-mr farquhar house]2164-his house , [he]193-mr farquhar ran [upstairs]1186-upstairs to ask [Jemima]217-jemima to breakfast alone in [[her]217-jemima dressing - room]3703-her dressing - room , and returned in five minutes or less . " Now [I]193-mr farquhar can tell [you]2614-the two girls about it , "[193-mr farquhar] said [he]193-mr farquhar . " [I]193-mr farquhar see [my]193-mr farquhar way clearly to a certain point . [We]6553-we must prevent [Dick]214-dick and [[his]214-dick father]658-his father meeting just now , or all hope of [Dick]214-dick 's reformation is gone for ever . [[His]214-dick father]658-his father is as hard as the nether mill - stone . [He]658-his father has forbidden [me]193-mr farquhar [[his]658-his father house]2164-his house . "[193-mr farquhar] " Forbidden [you]193-mr farquhar ! "[193-mr farquhar] " Yes ; because [I]193-mr farquhar would not give up [Dick]214-dick as utterly lost and bad ; and because [I]193-mr farquhar said [I]193-mr farquhar should return to [London]3-london with [the clerk]3641-the clerk , and fairly tell [Dennison]270-mr dennison ( [he]270-mr dennison 's [a Scotchman]6558-a scotchman , and [a man of sense and feeling]6559-a man of sense and feeling ) the real state of the case . By the way , [we]6560-we must not say a word to [the clerk]3641-the clerk ; otherwise [he]3641-the clerk will expect an answer , and make out all sorts of inferences for [himself]3641-the clerk , from the unsatisfactory reply [he]3641-the clerk must have . [Dennison]270-mr dennison will be upon honour -- will see every side of the case -- will know [you]6562-you refuse to prosecute ; [the Company of which]6563-the company of which [he]270-mr dennison is [manager]6564-manager are [no losers]6565-no losers . Well ! when [I]193-mr farquhar said what [I]193-mr farquhar thought wise , of all this -- when [I]193-mr farquhar spoke as if [my]193-mr farquhar course were a settled and decided thing , [the grim old man]6566-the grim old man asked [me]193-mr farquhar if [he]6566-the grim old man was to be [an automaton in [[his]6566-the grim old man own house]6568-his own house]6567-an automaton in his own house . [He]6566-the grim old man assured [me]193-mr farquhar [he]6566-the grim old man had no feeling for [Dick]214-dick -- all the time [he]6566-the grim old man was shaking like an aspen ; in short , repeated much the same things [he]6566-the grim old man must have said to [you]6569-you last night . However , [I]193-mr farquhar defied [him]6566-the grim old man ; and the consequence is , [I]193-mr farquhar 'm forbidden [the house]426-the house , and , what is more , [he]6566-the grim old man says [he]6566-the grim old man will not come to [the office]3651-the office while [I]193-mr farquhar remain [a partner]3463-a partner . "[193-mr farquhar] " What shall [you]193-mr farquhar do ? "[193-mr farquhar] " Send [Jemima]217-jemima and [the baby]1144-the baby . There 's nothing like [a young child]6574-a young child for bringing [people round to a healthy state of feeling]6575-people round to a healthy state of feeling ; and [you]193-mr farquhar do n't know what [Jemima]217-jemima is , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ! No ! though [you]193-mr farquhar 've known [her]217-jemima from [her]217-jemima birth . If [she]217-jemima ca n't comfort [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother , and if [the baby]1144-the baby ca n't steal into [[her]217-jemima grandfather]6578-her grandfather 's heart , why -- [I]193-mr farquhar do n't know what [you]193-mr farquhar may do to [me]193-mr farquhar . [I]193-mr farquhar shall tell [Jemima]217-jemima all , and trust to [her]217-jemima wit and wisdom to work at this end , while [I]193-mr farquhar do [my]193-mr farquhar best at the other . "[193-mr farquhar] " [Richard]149-mr bradshaw is abroad , is not [he]149-mr bradshaw ? "[193-mr farquhar] " [He]149-mr bradshaw will be in [England]21-england to - morrow . [I]193-mr farquhar must catch [him]149-mr bradshaw somewhere ; but that [I]193-mr farquhar can easily do . The difficult point will be , what to do with [him]149-mr bradshaw -- what to say to [him]149-mr bradshaw , when [I]193-mr farquhar find [him]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw must give up [his]149-mr bradshaw partnership , that 's clear . [I]193-mr farquhar did not tell [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father so , but [I]193-mr farquhar am resolved upon it . There shall be no tampering with the honour of [the firm to which [I]193-mr farquhar belong]6580-the firm to which i belong . "[193-mr farquhar] " But what will become of [him]149-mr bradshaw ? "[143-mr benson] asked [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , anxiously . " [I]3704-i do not yet know . But , for [Jemima]217-jemima 's sake -- for [[his]149-mr bradshaw dear old father]6581-his dear old father 's sake -- [I]3704-i will not leave [him]149-mr bradshaw adrift . [I]3704-i will find [him]149-mr bradshaw some occupation as clear from temptation as [I]3704-i can . [I]3704-i will do all in [my]3704-i power . And [he]149-mr bradshaw will do much better , if [he]149-mr bradshaw has any good in [him]149-mr bradshaw , as [a freer agent]6582-a freer agent , not cowed by [[his]149-mr bradshaw father]658-his father into a want of individuality and self - respect . [I]3704-i believe [I]3704-i must dismiss [you]143-mr benson , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , "[3704-i] said [he]3704-i , looking at [his]3704-i watch ; " [I]3704-i have to explain all to [[my]3704-i wife]6584-my wife , and to go to [that clerk]6585-that clerk . [You]143-mr benson shall hear from [me]3704-i in a day or two . "[3704-i] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson half envied [the younger man]3705-the younger man 's elasticity of mind , and power of acting promptly . [He]143-mr benson [himself]143-mr benson felt as if [he]143-mr benson wanted to sit down in [[his]143-mr benson quiet study]3706-his quiet study , and think over the revelations and events of the last twenty - four hours . It made [him]143-mr benson dizzy even to follow [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's plans , as [he]143-mr benson had briefly detailed them ; and some solitude and consideration would be required before [Mr Benson]143-mr benson could decide upon [their]3707-their justice and wisdom . [He]143-mr benson had been much shocked by the discovery of the overt act of guilt which [Richard]149-mr bradshaw had perpetrated , low as [his]143-mr benson opinion of [that young man]3708-that young man had been for some time ; and the consequence was , that [he]143-mr benson felt depressed , and unable to rally for the next few days . [He]143-mr benson had not even the comfort of [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister 's sympathy , as [he]143-mr benson felt bound in honour not to tell [her]4508-his sister anything ; and [she]4508-his sister was luckily so much absorbed in some household contest with [Sally]148-sally that [she]4508-his sister did not notice [[her]4508-his sister brother]982-her brother 's quiet languor . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson felt that [he]143-mr benson had no right at this time to intrude into [the house which [he]143-mr benson had been once tacitly forbidden]3711-the house which he had been once tacitly forbidden . If [he]143-mr benson went now to [[Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's]2425-mr bradshaw 's without being asked , or sent for , [he]143-mr benson thought it would seem like presuming on [his]143-mr benson knowledge of the hidden disgrace of [one of [the family]693-the family]3713-one of the family . Yet [he]143-mr benson longed to go : [he]143-mr benson knew that [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar must be writing almost daily to [Jemima]217-jemima , and [he]143-mr benson wanted to hear what [he]193-mr farquhar was doing . The fourth day after [[her]217-jemima husband]730-her husband 's departure [she]217-jemima came , within half an hour of the post - delivery , and asked to speak to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson alone . [She]217-jemima was in a state of great agitation , and had evidently been crying very much . " Oh , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ! "[217-jemima] said [she]217-jemima , " will [you]143-mr benson come with [me]217-jemima , and tell [papa]209-papa this sad news about [Dick]214-dick ? [Walter]212-walter has written [me]217-jemima a letter at last to say [he]212-walter has found [him]214-dick -- [he]212-walter could not at first ; but now it seems that , the day before yesterday , [he]212-walter heard of an accident which had happened to [the Dover coach]3683-the dover coach ; it was overturned -- [two passengers]6587-two passengers killed , and [several badly hurt]6588-several badly hurt . [Walter]212-walter says [we]6589-we ought to be thankful , as [he]212-walter is , that [Dick]214-dick was not killed . [He]212-walter says it was such a relief to [him]212-walter on going to [the place]444-the place -- [the little inn nearest to where [the coach]1509-the coach was overturned]6591-the little inn nearest to where the coach was overturned -- to find that [Dick]214-dick was only severely injured ; not one of those who was killed . But it is a terrible shock to [us]6589-we all . [We]6589-we had had no more dreadful fear to lessen the shock ; [mamma]4143-mamma is quite unfit for anything , and [we]6589-we none of [us]6589-we dare to tell [papa]4310-papa . "[217-jemima] [Jemima]217-jemima had hard work to keep down [her]217-jemima sobs thus far , and now [they]3716-they overmastered [her]217-jemima . " How is [[your]217-jemima father]5319-your father ? [I]143-mr benson have wanted to hear every day , "[143-mr benson] asked [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , tenderly . " It was careless of [me]143-mr benson not to come and tell [you]217-jemima ; but , indeed , [I]143-mr benson have had so much to do . [Mamma]113-mamma would not go near [him]5319-your father . [He]5319-your father has said something which [she]113-mamma seems as if [she]113-mamma could not forgive . Because [he]5319-your father came to meals , [she]113-mamma would not . [She]113-mamma has almost lived in [the nursery]6596-the nursery ; taking out all [Dick]214-dick 's old playthings , and what clothes of [his]5319-your father were left , and turning them over , and crying over them . "[143-mr benson] " Then [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw has joined [you]217-jemima again ; [I]3716-they was afraid , from what [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar said , [he]149-mr bradshaw was going to isolate [himself]149-mr bradshaw from [you]217-jemima all ? "[3716-they] " [I]217-jemima wish [he]149-mr bradshaw had , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , crying afresh . " It would have been more natural than the way [he]149-mr bradshaw has gone on ; the only difference from [his]149-mr bradshaw usual habits is , that [he]149-mr bradshaw has never gone near [the office]3651-the office , or else [he]149-mr bradshaw has come to [meals]6598-meals just as usual , and talked just as usual ; and even done what [I]217-jemima never knew [him]149-mr bradshaw do before , tried to make jokes -- all in order to show [us]217-jemima how little [he]149-mr bradshaw cares . "[217-jemima] " Does [he]149-mr bradshaw not go out at all ? "[3718-her] " Only in [the garden]783-the garden . [I]217-jemima am sure [he]149-mr bradshaw does care after all ; [he]149-mr bradshaw must care ; [he]149-mr bradshaw can not shake off [a child]556-a child in this way , though [he]149-mr bradshaw thinks [he]149-mr bradshaw can ; and that makes [me]217-jemima so afraid of telling [him]149-mr bradshaw of this accident . Will [you]3717-he come , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ? "[217-jemima] [He]3717-he needed no other word . [He]3717-he went with [her]3718-her , as [she]3718-her rapidly threaded [her]3718-her way through [the by - streets]3719-the by - streets . When [they]3720-they reached [the house]426-the house , [she]3718-her went in without knocking , and putting [[her]3718-her husband]730-her husband 's letter into [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's hand , [she]3718-her opened the door of [[[her]3718-her father]411-her father 's room]3724-her father 's room , and saying--"Papa , here is [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , "[3718-her] left [them]3720-they alone . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson felt nervously incapable of knowing what to do , or to say . [He]143-mr benson had surprised [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw sitting idly over the fire -- gazing dreamily into the embers . But [he]143-mr benson had started up , and drawn [his]143-mr benson chair to the table , on seeing [[his]143-mr benson visitor]5508-his visitor ; and , after the first necessary words of politeness were over , [he]143-mr benson seemed to expect [him]143-mr benson to open the conversation . " [Mrs Farquhar]266-mrs farquhar has asked [me]143-mr benson , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , plunging into the subject with a trembling heart , " to tell [you]149-mr bradshaw about a letter [she]266-mrs farquhar has received from [[her]266-mrs farquhar husband]730-her husband ; "[143-mr benson] [he]143-mr benson stopped for an instant , for [he]143-mr benson felt that [he]143-mr benson did not get nearer the real difficulty , and yet could not tell the best way of approaching it . " [She]266-mrs farquhar need not have given [you]149-mr bradshaw that trouble . [I]143-mr benson am aware of the reason of [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's absence . [I]143-mr benson entirely disapprove of [his]193-mr farquhar conduct . [He]193-mr farquhar is regardless of [my]143-mr benson wishes ; and disobedient to the commands which , as [[my]143-mr benson son - in - law]6602-my son - in - law , [I]143-mr benson thought [he]193-mr farquhar would have felt bound to respect . If there is any more agreeable subject that [you]149-mr bradshaw can introduce , [I]143-mr benson shall be glad to hear [you]149-mr bradshaw , [sir]4181-sir . "[143-mr benson] " Neither [you]149-mr bradshaw , nor [I]3726-i , must think of what [we]6604-we like to hear or to say . [You]149-mr bradshaw must hear what concerns [[your]149-mr bradshaw son]1455-your son . "[3726-i] " [I]3726-i have disowned [the young man who was [[my]3726-i son]1320-my son]6606-the young man who was my son , "[3726-i] replied [he]3726-i , coldly . " [The Dover coach]3683-the dover coach has been overturned , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , stimulated into abruptness by the icy sternness of [the father]2701-the father . But , in a flash , [he]143-mr benson saw what lay below that terrible assumption of indifference . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw glanced up in [his]149-mr bradshaw face one look of agony -- and then went grey - pale ; so livid that [Mr Benson]143-mr benson got up to ring the bell in affright , but [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw motioned to [him]143-mr benson to sit still . " Oh ! [I]149-mr bradshaw have been too sudden , [sir]4181-sir -- [he]143-mr benson is alive , [he]143-mr benson is alive ! "[149-mr bradshaw] [he]149-mr bradshaw exclaimed , as [he]149-mr bradshaw saw the ashy face working in a vain attempt to speak ; but the poor lips ( so wooden , not a minute ago ) went working on and on , as if [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's words did not sink down into the mind , or reach the understanding . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson went hastily for [Mrs Farquhar]266-mrs farquhar . " Oh , [Jemima]217-jemima ! "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson , " [I]143-mr benson have done it so badly -- [I]143-mr benson have been so cruel -- [he]143-mr benson is very ill , [I]143-mr benson fear -- bring water , brandy-- "[143-mr benson] and [he]143-mr benson returned with all speed into [the room]357-the room . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw -- [the great , strong , iron man]3729-the great , strong , iron man -- lay back in [his]149-mr bradshaw chair in a swoon , a fit . " Fetch [[my]217-jemima mother]4247-my mother , [Mary]263-mary . Send for [the doctor]4191-the doctor , [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth , "[217-jemima] said [Jemima]217-jemima , rushing to [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father . [She]217-jemima and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson did all in [their]3731-their power to restore [him]411-her father . [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw forgot all [her]151-mrs bradshaw vows of estrangement from [the dead - like husband]3732-the dead - like husband , who might never speak to [her]151-mrs bradshaw , or hear [her]151-mrs bradshaw again , and bitterly accused [herself]151-mrs bradshaw for every angry word [she]151-mrs bradshaw had spoken against [him]411-her father during these last few miserable days . Before [the doctor]4191-the doctor came , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had opened [his]149-mr bradshaw eyes and partially rallied , although [he]149-mr bradshaw either did not , or could not speak . [He]149-mr bradshaw looked struck down into old age . [His]149-mr bradshaw eyes were sensible in [their]3731-their expression , but had the dim glaze of many years of life upon them . [His]149-mr bradshaw lower jaw fell from [his]149-mr bradshaw upper one , giving a look of melancholy depression to the face , although the lips hid the unclosed teeth . But [he]149-mr bradshaw answered correctly ( in monosyllables , it is true ) all the questions which [the doctor]4191-the doctor chose to ask . And [the medical man]597-the medical man was not so much impressed with the serious character of the seizure as [the family , who knew all the hidden mystery behind]3736-the family , who knew all the hidden mystery behind , and had seen [[their]3736-the family , who knew all the hidden mystery behind father]2183-their father lie for the first time with the precursor aspect of death upon [his]149-mr bradshaw face . Rest , watching , and a little medicine were what [the doctor]4191-the doctor prescribed ; it was so slight a prescription , for what had appeared to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson so serious an attack , that [he]149-mr bradshaw wished to follow [the medical man]597-the medical man out of [the room]357-the room to make further inquiries , and learn the real opinion which [he]149-mr bradshaw thought must lurk behind . But as [he]149-mr bradshaw was following [the doctor]4191-the doctor , [he]149-mr bradshaw -- [they]3742-they all -- were aware of the effort [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw was making to rise , in order to arrest [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's departure . [He]149-mr bradshaw did stand up , supporting [himself]149-mr bradshaw with one hand on the table , for [his]149-mr bradshaw legs shook under [him]149-mr bradshaw . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson came back instantly to the spot where [he]143-mr benson was . For a moment it seemed as if [he]143-mr benson had not the right command of [his]143-mr benson voice : but at last [he]143-mr benson said , with a tone of humble , wistful entreaty , which was very touching : " [He]143-mr benson is alive , [sir]4181-sir ; is [he]143-mr benson not ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes , [sir]4181-sir -- indeed [he]143-mr benson is ; [he]143-mr benson is only hurt . [He]143-mr benson is sure to do well . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar is with [him]143-mr benson , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , almost unable to speak for tears . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw did not remove [his]149-mr bradshaw eyes from [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's face for more than a minute after [his]149-mr bradshaw question had been answered . [He]149-mr bradshaw seemed as though [he]149-mr bradshaw would read [his]149-mr bradshaw very soul , and there see if [he]149-mr bradshaw spoke the truth . Satisfied at last , [he]149-mr bradshaw sank slowly into [his]149-mr bradshaw chair ; and [they]3743-their were silent for a little space , waiting to perceive if [he]149-mr bradshaw would wish for any further information just then . At length [he]149-mr bradshaw put [his]149-mr bradshaw hands slowly together in the clasped attitude of prayer , and said--"Thank [God]104-leonard ! "[149-mr bradshaw] CHAPTER XXXII [The Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw Pew Again Occupied If [Jemima]217-jemima allowed [herself]217-jemima now and then to imagine that one good would result from the discovery of [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's delinquency , in the return of [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson to something of [their]3743-their old understanding and [their]3743-their old intercourse -- if this hope fluttered through [her]217-jemima mind , it was doomed to disappointment . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson would have been most happy to go , if [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had sent for [him]143-mr benson ; [he]143-mr benson was on the watch for what might be even the shadow of such an invitation -- but none came . [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , on [his]149-mr bradshaw part , would have been thoroughly glad if the wilful seclusion of [his]149-mr bradshaw present life could have been broken by the occasional visits of [the old friend whom [he]149-mr bradshaw had once forbidden [the house]426-the house]3745-the old friend whom he had once forbidden the house ; but this prohibition having passed [his]149-mr bradshaw lips , [he]149-mr bradshaw stubbornly refused to do anything which might be construed into unsaying it . [Jemima]217-jemima was for some time in despair of [his]149-mr bradshaw ever returning to [the office]3651-the office , or resuming [his]149-mr bradshaw old habits of business . [He]149-mr bradshaw had evidently threatened as much to [[her]217-jemima husband]730-her husband . All that [Jemima]217-jemima could do was to turn a deaf ear to every allusion to this menace , which [he]149-mr bradshaw threw out from time to time , evidently with a view to see if it had struck deep enough into [[her]217-jemima husband]730-her husband 's mind for [him]149-mr bradshaw to have repeated it to [[his]149-mr bradshaw wife]737-his wife . If [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had named it -- if it was known only to two or three to have been , but for one half - hour even , [his]149-mr bradshaw resolution -- [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw could have adhered to it , without any other reason than the maintenance of what [he]149-mr bradshaw called consistency , but which was in fact doggedness . [Jemima]217-jemima was often thankful that [[her]217-jemima mother]710-her mother was absent , and gone to nurse [[her]710-her mother son]990-her son . If [she]217-jemima had been at [home]4124-home , [she]217-jemima would have entreated and implored [[her]217-jemima husband]730-her husband to fall back into [his]149-mr bradshaw usual habits , and would have shown such a dread of [his]149-mr bradshaw being as good as [his]149-mr bradshaw word , that [he]149-mr bradshaw would have been compelled to adhere to it by the very consequence affixed to it . [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had hard work , as it was , in passing rapidly enough between the two places -- attending to [his]193-mr farquhar business at [Eccleston]36-eccleston ; and deciding , comforting , and earnestly talking , in [[Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's sick - room]3755-richard 's sick - room . During an absence of [his]193-mr farquhar , it was necessary to apply to one of [the partners]3609-the partners on some matter of importance ; and accordingly , to [Jemima]217-jemima 's secret joy , [Mr Watson]267-mr watson came up and asked if [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father was well enough to see [him]411-her father on business ? [Jemima]217-jemima carried in this inquiry literally ; and the hesitating answer which [[her]217-jemima father]411-her father gave was in the affirmative . It was not long before [she]217-jemima saw [him]411-her father leave [the house]426-the house , accompanied by [the faithful old clerk]3621-the faithful old clerk ; and when [he]411-her father met [her]217-jemima at dinner , [he]411-her father made no allusion to [[his]411-her father morning visitor]3761-his morning visitor , or to [his]411-her father subsequent going out . But from that time forwards [he]411-her father went regularly to [the office]3651-the office . [He]411-her father received all the information about [Dick]214-dick 's accident , and [his]411-her father progress towards recovery , in perfect silence , and in as indifferent a manner as [he]411-her father could assume ; but yet [he]411-her father lingered about [the family sitting - room]1716-the family sitting - room every morning until the post had come in which brought all letters from [the south]3764-the south . When [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar at last returned to bring the news of [Dick]214-dick 's perfect convalescence , [he]193-mr farquhar resolved to tell [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw all that [he]193-mr farquhar had done and arranged for [[his]193-mr farquhar son]3657-his son 's future career ; but , as [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar told [Mr Benson]143-mr benson afterwards , [he]193-mr farquhar could not really say if [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had attended to one word that [he]193-mr farquhar said . " Rely upon it , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , " [he]149-mr bradshaw has not only attended to it , but treasured up every expression [you]193-mr farquhar have used . "[143-mr benson] " Well , [I]193-mr farquhar tried to get some opinion , or sign of emotion , out of [him]149-mr bradshaw . [I]193-mr farquhar had not much hope of the latter , [I]193-mr farquhar must own ; but [I]193-mr farquhar thought [he]149-mr bradshaw would have said whether [I]193-mr farquhar had done wisely or not in procuring that [Glasgow]69-glasgow situation for [Dick]214-dick -- that [he]149-mr bradshaw would , perhaps , have been indignant at [my]193-mr farquhar ousting [him]149-mr bradshaw from the partnership so entirely on [my]193-mr farquhar own responsibility . "[193-mr farquhar] " How did [Richard]149-mr bradshaw take it ? "[143-mr benson] " Oh , nothing could exceed [his]149-mr bradshaw penitence . If [one]321-one had never heard of the proverb , ' When the devil was sick , [the devil]6615-the devil [a monk]6616-a monk would be , ' [I]143-mr benson should have had greater faith in [him]149-mr bradshaw ; or if [he]149-mr bradshaw had had more strength of character to begin with , or more reality and less outward appearance of good principle instilled into [him]149-mr bradshaw . However , this [Glasgow]69-glasgow situation is the very thing ; clear , defined duties , no great trust reposed in [him]149-mr bradshaw , a kind and watchful head , and introductions to [a better class of [associates]6618-associates]6617-a better class of associates than [I]143-mr benson fancy [he]149-mr bradshaw has ever been thrown amongst before . For , [you]6619-you know , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw dreaded all intimacies for [[his]149-mr bradshaw son]3657-his son , and wanted [him]3657-his son to eschew all society beyond [[his]3657-his son own family]776-his own family -- would never allow [him]3657-his son to ask [a friend]672-a friend [home]4124-home . Really , when [I]143-mr benson think of the unnatural life [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw expected [him]3657-his son to lead , [I]143-mr benson get into charity with [him]3657-his son , and have hopes . By the way , have [you]6619-you ever succeeded in persuading [[his]3657-his son mother]655-his mother to send [Leonard]104-leonard to [school]680-school ? [He]3657-his son may run the same risk from isolation as [Dick]214-dick : not be able to choose [[his]3657-his son companions]536-his companions wisely when [he]3657-his son grows up , but be too much overcome by the excitement of society to be very discreet as to who are [[his]3657-his son associates]6627-his associates . Have [you]6619-you spoken to [her]655-his mother about [my]143-mr benson plan ? "[143-mr benson] " Yes ! but to no purpose . [I]193-mr farquhar can not say that [she]655-his mother would even admit an argument on the subject . [She]655-his mother seemed to have an invincible repugnance to the idea of exposing [him]3657-his son to the remarks of [other boys]3518-other boys on [his]3657-his son peculiar position . "[193-mr farquhar] " [They]3518-other boys need never know of it . Besides , sooner or later , [he]3657-his son must step out of [his]3657-his son narrow circle , and encounter remark and scorn . "[143-mr benson] " True , "[143-mr benson] said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , mournfully . " And [you]6619-you may depend upon it , if it really is the best for [Leonard]104-leonard , [she]655-his mother will come round to it by - and - by . It is almost extraordinary to see the way in which [her]655-his mother earnest and most unselfish devotion to [this boy]3010-this boy 's real welfare leads [her]655-his mother to right and wise conclusions . "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson wish [I]143-mr benson could tame [her]655-his mother so as to let [me]143-mr benson meet [her]655-his mother as [a friend]672-a friend . Since [the baby]1144-the baby was born , [she]655-his mother comes to see [Jemima]217-jemima . [[My]143-mr benson wife]6584-my wife tells [me]143-mr benson , that [she]655-his mother sits and holds it soft in [her]655-his mother arms , and talks to it as if [her]655-his mother whole soul went out to [the little infant]1976-the little infant . But if [she]655-his mother hears a strange footstep on the stair , what [Jemima]217-jemima calls the ' wild - animal look ' comes back into [her]655-his mother eyes , and [she]655-his mother steals away like some frightened creature . With all that [she]655-his mother has done to redeem [her]655-his mother character , [she]655-his mother should not be so timid of observation . "[143-mr benson] " [You]6634-you may well say ' with all that [she]655-his mother has done ! ' [We]6635-we of [[her]655-his mother own household]6636-her own household hear little or nothing of what [she]655-his mother does . If [she]655-his mother wants help , [she]655-his mother simply tells [us]6635-we how and why ; but if not -- perhaps because it is some relief to [her]655-his mother to forget for a time the scenes of suffering in which [she]655-his mother has been acting the part of comforter , and perhaps because there always was a shy , sweet reticence about [her]655-his mother -- [we]6635-we never should know what [she]655-his mother is and what [she]655-his mother does , except from [the poor people [themselves]6637-the poor people themselves]6637-the poor people themselves , who would bless [her]655-his mother in words if the very thought of [her]655-his mother did not choke [them]6637-the poor people themselves with tears . Yet , [I]143-mr benson do assure [you]6638-you , [she]655-his mother passes out of all this gloom , and makes sunlight in [[our]6635-we house]4756-our house . [We]6635-we are never so cheerful as when [she]655-his mother is at [home]4124-home . [She]655-his mother always had the art of diffusing peace , but now it is positive cheerfulness . And about [Leonard]104-leonard ; [I]143-mr benson doubt if [the wisest and most thoughtful schoolmaster]6641-the wisest and most thoughtful schoolmaster could teach half as much directly , as [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother does unconsciously and indirectly every hour that [he]104-leonard is with [her]655-his mother . [Her]655-his mother noble , humble , pious endurance of the consequences of what was wrong in [her]655-his mother early life , seems expressly fitted to act upon [him]104-leonard , whose position is ( unjustly , for [he]104-leonard has done no harm ) so similar to [hers]655-his mother . "[143-mr benson] " Well ! [I]143-mr benson suppose [we]6635-we must leave it alone for the present . [You]6643-you will think [me]143-mr benson [a hard practical man]6644-a hard practical man when [I]143-mr benson own to [you]6643-you , that all [I]143-mr benson expect from [Leonard]104-leonard 's remaining a home - bird is that , with [such a mother]6645-such a mother , it will do [him]104-leonard no harm . At any rate , remember [my]143-mr benson offer is the same for a year -- two years hence , as now . What does [she]655-his mother look forward to making [him]104-leonard into , finally ? "[143-mr benson] " [I]143-mr benson do n't know . The wonder comes into [my]143-mr benson mind sometimes ; but never into [hers]655-his mother , [I]143-mr benson think . It is part of [her]655-his mother character -- part perhaps of that which made [her]655-his mother what [she]655-his mother was -- that [she]655-his mother never looks forward , and seldom back . The present is enough for [her]655-his mother . "[143-mr benson] And so the conversation ended . When [Mr Benson]143-mr benson repeated the substance of it to [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , [she]4508-his sister mused awhile , breaking out into an occasional whistle ( although [she]4508-his sister had cured [herself]4508-his sister of this habit in a great measure ) , and at last [she]4508-his sister said : " Now , do [you]143-mr benson know , [I]4508-his sister never liked poor [Dick]214-dick ; and yet [I]4508-his sister 'm angry with [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar for getting [him]214-dick out of the partnership in such a summary way . [I]4508-his sister ca n't get over it , even though [he]193-mr farquhar has offered to send [Leonard]104-leonard to [school]680-school . And here [he]214-dick 's [reigning lord - paramount at [the office]3651-the office]6647-reigning lord - paramount at the office ! As if [you]143-mr benson , [Thurstan]161-thurstan , were n't as well able to teach [him]214-dick as [any schoolmaster in [England]21-england]6649-any schoolmaster in england ! But [I]4508-his sister should not mind that affront , if [I]4508-his sister were not sorry to think of [Dick]214-dick ( though [I]4508-his sister never could abide [him]214-dick ) labouring away in [Glasgow]69-glasgow for a petty salary of [nobody]5038-nobody knows how little , while [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar is taking halves , instead of thirds , of the profits here ! "[4508-his sister] But [[her]3767-her brother]982-her brother could not tell [her]3767-her -- and even [Jemima]217-jemima did not know , till long afterwards -- that the portion of income which would have been [Dick]214-dick 's as [a junior partner]3769-a junior partner , if [he]214-dick had remained in the business , was carefully laid aside for [him]214-dick by [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar ; to be delivered up , with all its accumulated interest , when [the prodigal]3770-the prodigal should have proved [his]214-dick penitence by [his]214-dick conduct . When [Ruth]81-ruth had no call upon [her]81-ruth time , it was indeed a holiday at [Chapel - house]2646-chapel - house . [She]3767-her threw off as much as [she]3767-her could of the care and the sadness in which [she]3767-her had been sharing ; and returned fresh and helpful , ready to go about in [her]3767-her soft , quiet way , and fill up every measure of service , and heap it with the fragrance of [her]3767-her own sweet nature . The delicate mending , that [the elder women]3772-the elder women could no longer see to do , was put by for [Ruth]81-ruth 's swift and nimble fingers . The occasional copying , or patient writing to dictation , that gave rest to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's weary spine , was done by [her]3767-her with sunny alacrity . But , most of all , [Leonard]104-leonard 's heart rejoiced when [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother came [home]4124-home . Then came the quiet confidences , the tender exchange of love , the happy walks from which [he]104-leonard returned stronger and stronger -- going from strength to strength as [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother led the way . It was well , as [they]3776-they saw now , that the great shock of the disclosure had taken place when it did . [She]3767-her , for [her]3767-her part , wondered at [her]3767-her own cowardliness in having even striven to keep back the truth from [[her]3767-her child]631-her child -- the truth that was so certain to be made clear , sooner or later , and which it was only owing to [God]104-leonard 's mercy that [she]3767-her was alive to encounter with [him]104-leonard , and , by so encountering , shield and give [him]104-leonard good courage . Moreover , in [her]3767-her secret heart , [she]3767-her was thankful that all occurred while [he]104-leonard was yet too young to have much curiosity as to [[his]104-leonard father]658-his father . If an unsatisfied feeling of this kind occasionally stole into [his]104-leonard mind , at any rate [she]3767-her never heard any expression of it ; for the past was a sealed book between [them]3776-they . And so , in the bright strength of good endeavour , the days went on , and grew again to months and years . Perhaps one little circumstance which occurred during this time had scarcely external importance enough to be called an event ; but in [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's mind it took rank as such . One day , about a year after [Richard Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had ceased to be a partner in [[[his]104-leonard father]658-his father 's house]3780-his father 's house , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson encountered [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar in [the street]347-the street , and heard from [him]193-mr farquhar of the creditable and respectable manner in which [Richard]149-mr bradshaw was conducting [himself]149-mr bradshaw in [Glasgow]69-glasgow , where [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar had lately been on business . " [I]143-mr benson am determined to tell [[his]104-leonard father]658-his father of this , "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson ; " [I]143-mr benson think [[his]104-leonard family]2669-his family are far too obedient to [his]104-leonard tacit prohibition of all mention of [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's name . "[143-mr benson] " Tacit prohibition ? "[143-mr benson] inquired [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . " Oh ! [I]143-mr benson dare say [I]143-mr benson use the words in a wrong sense for the correctness of [a scholar]6653-a scholar ; but what [I]143-mr benson mean is , that [he]104-leonard made a point of immediately leaving [the room]357-the room if [Richard]149-mr bradshaw 's name was mentioned ; and did it in so marked a manner , that by degrees [they]2669-his family understood that it was [[their]2669-his family father]2183-their father 's desire that [he]104-leonard should never be alluded to ; which was all very well as long as there was nothing pleasant to be said about [him]104-leonard ; but to - night [I]143-mr benson am going [there]332-there , and shall take good care [he]104-leonard does not escape [me]143-mr benson before [I]143-mr benson have told [him]104-leonard all [I]143-mr benson have heard and observed about [Richard]149-mr bradshaw . [He]149-mr bradshaw will never be [a hero of virtue]6657-a hero of virtue , for [his]149-mr bradshaw education has drained [him]149-mr bradshaw of all moral courage ; but with care , and the absence of all strong temptation for a time , [he]149-mr bradshaw will do very well ; nothing to gratify paternal pride , but certainly nothing to be ashamed of . "[143-mr benson] It was on the Sunday after this that the little circumstance to which [I]0-i have alluded took place . During the afternoon service , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson became aware that the large Bradshaw pew was no longer unoccupied . In a dark corner [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's white head was to be seen , bowed down low in prayer . When last [he]149-mr bradshaw had worshipped [there]332-there , the hair on that head was iron - grey , and even in prayer [he]149-mr bradshaw had stood erect , with an air of conscious righteousness sufficient for all [his]149-mr bradshaw wants , and even some to spare with which to judge [others]368-others . Now , that white and hoary head was never uplifted ; part of [his]149-mr bradshaw unobtrusiveness might , it is true , be attributed to the uncomfortable feeling which was sure to attend any open withdrawal of the declaration [he]149-mr bradshaw had once made , never to enter [the chapel in which [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was [minister]3388-minister]3784-the chapel in which mr benson was minister again ; and as such a feeling was natural to [all men]3786-all men , and especially to such a one as [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson instinctively respected it , and passed out of [the chapel]1865-the chapel with [[his]143-mr benson household]5581-his household , without ever directing [his]143-mr benson regards to [the obscure place where [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw still remained immovable]3789-the obscure place where mr bradshaw still remained immovable . From this day [Mr Benson]143-mr benson felt sure that the old friendly feeling existed once more between [them]3790-them , although some time might elapse before any circumstance gave the signal for a renewal of [their]3790-them intercourse . CHAPTER XXXIII [A Mother]1536-a mother to Be Proud Of [Old people]3792-old people tell of certain years when typhus fever swept over [the country]514-the country like a pestilence ; years that bring back the remembrance of deep sorrow -- refusing to be comforted -- to many [a household]3794-a household ; and which those whose beloved passed through the fiery time unscathed , shrink from recalling : for great and tremulous was the anxiety -- miserable the constant watching for evil symptoms ; and beyond the threshold of [home]4124-home a dense cloud of depression hung over society at large . It seemed as if the alarm was proportionate to the previous light - heartedness of fancied security -- and indeed it was so ; for , since the days of [King Belshazzar]273-king belshazzar , the solemn decrees of [Doom]274-doom have ever seemed most terrible when [they]3796-they awe into silence [the merry revellers of life]3797-the merry revellers of life . So it was this year to which [I]0-i come in the progress of [my]0-i story . The summer had been unusually gorgeous . [Some]365-some had complained of the steaming heat , but [others]368-others had pointed to the lush vegetation , which was profuse and luxuriant . The early autumn was wet and cold , but [people]322-people did not regard it , in contemplation of some proud rejoicing of [the nation]3801-the nation , which filled every newspaper and gave food to every tongue . In [Eccleston]36-eccleston these rejoicings were greater than in most places ; for , by the national triumph of arms , it was supposed that a new market for the staple manufacture of [the place]444-the place would be opened ; and so the trade , which had for a year or two been languishing , would now revive with redoubled vigour . Besides these legitimate causes of good spirits , there was the rank excitement of a coming election , in consequence of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne having accepted a Government office , procured for [him]225-mr donne by [one of [[his]225-mr donne influential relations]3804-his influential relations]3803-one of his influential relations . This time , [the Cranworths]226-the cranworths roused [themselves]226-the cranworths from [their]226-the cranworths magnificent torpor of security in good season , and were going through a series of pompous and ponderous hospitalities , in order to bring back [the Eccleston voters]3805-the eccleston voters to [their]3805-the eccleston voters allegiance . While [the town]396-the town was full of [these subjects]3807-these subjects by turns -- now thinking and speaking of the great revival of trade -- now of the chances of the election , as yet some weeks distant -- now of the balls at [Cranworth Court]70-cranworth court , in which [Mr Cranworth]223-mr cranworth had danced with [all the belles of [the shopocracy of [Eccleston]36-eccleston]3809-the shopocracy of eccleston]3808-all the belles of the shopocracy of eccleston -- there came creeping , creeping , in hidden , slimy courses , the terrible fever -- that fever which is never utterly banished from the sad haunts of vice and misery , but lives in such darkness , like a wild beast in the recesses of [[his]223-mr cranworth den]3810-his den . It had begun in [the low Irish lodging - houses]3811-the low irish lodging - houses ; but there it was so common it excited little attention . [The poor creatures]3812-the poor creatures died almost without the attendance of [the unwarned medical men]3813-the unwarned medical men , who received [their]3813-the unwarned medical men first notice of the spreading plague from [the Roman Catholic priests]3814-the roman catholic priests . Before [the medical men of]3815-the medical men of [Eccleston]36-eccleston had had time to meet together and consult , and compare the knowledge of the fever which [they]3815-the medical men of had severally gained , it had , like the blaze of a fire which had long smouldered , burst forth in many places at once -- not merely among [the loose - living and vicious]3816-the loose - living and vicious , but among [the decently poor -- nay]3817-the decently poor -- nay , even among [the well - to - do and respectable]3818-the well - to - do and respectable . And to add to the horror , like all similar pestilences , its course was most rapid at first , and was fatal in the great majority of cases -- hopeless from the beginning . There was a cry , and then a deep silence , and then rose the long wail of [the survivors]746-the survivors . [A portion of [the Infirmary of [the town]396-the town]3821-the infirmary of the town]3820-a portion of the infirmary of the town was added to that already set apart for [a fever - ward]3823-a fever - ward ; [the smitten]3824-the smitten were carried thither at once , whenever it was possible , in order to prevent the spread of infection ; and on [that lazar - house]3825-that lazar - house was concentrated all the medical skill and force of [the place]444-the place . But when [one of [the physicians]3828-the physicians]3827-one of the physicians had died , in consequence of [his]3827-one of the physicians attendance -- when the customary staff of [matrons]3829-matrons and [nurses]3830-nurses had been swept off in two days -- and [the nurses belonging to [the Infirmary]3832-the infirmary]3831-the nurses belonging to the infirmary had shrunk from being drafted into [the pestilential fever - ward]3833-the pestilential fever - ward -- when high wages had failed to tempt any to what , in [their]3815-the medical men of panic , [they]3815-the medical men of considered as certain death -- when [the doctors]6407-the doctors stood aghast at the swift mortality among [the untended sufferers , who were dependent only on the care of [the most ignorant hirelings]3836-the most ignorant hirelings]3835-the untended sufferers , who were dependent only on the care of the most ignorant hirelings , too brutal to recognise the solemnity of Death ( all this had happened within a week from the first acknowledgment of the presence of [the plague)--Ruth]3837-the plague)--ruth came one day , with a quieter step than usual , into [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's study]1717-mr benson 's study , and told [him]143-mr benson [she]3837-the plague)--ruth wanted to speak to [him]143-mr benson for a few minutes . " To be sure , [[my]143-mr benson dear]4145-my dear ! Sit down , "[143-mr benson] said [he]143-mr benson ; for [she]3837-the plague)--ruth was standing and leaning [her]3837-the plague)--ruth head against the chimney - piece , idly gazing into the fire . [She]3837-the plague)--ruth went on standing there , as if [she]3837-the plague)--ruth had not heard [his]143-mr benson words ; and it was a few moments before [she]3837-the plague)--ruth began to speak . Then [she]3837-the plague)--ruth said : " [I]3837-the plague)--ruth want to tell [you]143-mr benson , that [I]3837-the plague)--ruth have been this morning and offered [myself]3837-the plague)--ruth as matron to [the fever - ward]6659-the fever - ward while it is so full . [They]6660-they have accepted [me]3837-the plague)--ruth ; and [I]3837-the plague)--ruth am going this evening . "[3837-the plague)--ruth] " Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth ! [I]3837-the plague)--ruth feared this ; [I]3837-the plague)--ruth saw [your]81-ruth look this morning as [we]6661-we spoke of this terrible illness . "[3837-the plague)--ruth] " Why do [you]81-ruth say ' fear , ' [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ? [You]81-ruth [yourself]81-ruth have been with [John Harrison]129-harry , and [old Betty]195-elizabeth , and many others , [I]3839-i dare say , of whom [we]6661-we have not heard . "[3839-i] " But this is so different ! in such poisoned air ! among such malignant cases ! Have [you]81-ruth thought and weighed it enough , [Ruth]81-ruth ? "[3839-i] [She]3839-i was quite still for a moment , but [her]3839-i eyes grew full of tears . At last [she]3839-i said , very softly , with a kind of still solemnity : " Yes ! [I]3839-i have thought , and [I]3839-i have weighed . But through the very midst of all [my]3839-i fears and thoughts [I]3839-i have felt that [I]3839-i must go . "[3839-i] The remembrance of [Leonard]104-leonard was present in both [their]3840-their minds ; but for a few moments longer [they]3840-their neither of [them]3840-their spoke . Then [Ruth]81-ruth said : " [I]3839-i believe [I]3839-i have no fear . That is a great preservative , [they]6662-they say . At any rate , if [I]3839-i have a little natural shrinking , it is quite gone when [I]3839-i remember that [I]3839-i am in [God]104-leonard 's hands ! Oh , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , "[3839-i] continued [she]3839-i , breaking out into the irrepressible tears--"Leonard , [Leonard]104-leonard ! "[3839-i] And now it was [his]104-leonard turn to speak out the brave words of faith . " Poor , [poor mother]4386-poor mother ! "[104-leonard] said [he]104-leonard . " Be of good heart . [He]104-leonard , too , is in [God]104-leonard 's hands . Think what a flash of time only will separate [you]4386-poor mother from [him]104-leonard , if [you]4386-poor mother should die in this work ! "[104-leonard] " But [he]104-leonard -- but [he]104-leonard -- it will be long to [him]104-leonard , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ! [He]104-leonard will be alone ! "[3839-i] " No , [Ruth]81-ruth , [he]104-leonard will not . [God]104-leonard and [all good men]6664-all good men will watch over [him]104-leonard . But if [you]81-ruth can not still this agony of fear as to what will become of [him]104-leonard , [you]81-ruth ought not to go . Such tremulous passion will predispose [you]81-ruth to take the fever . "[3842-they] " [I]3841-her will not be afraid , "[3841-her] [she]3841-her replied , lifting up [her]3841-her face , over which a bright light shone , as of [God]104-leonard 's radiance . " [I]3841-her am not afraid for [myself]3841-her . [I]3841-her will not be so for [[my]3841-her darling]4347-my darling . "[3841-her] After a little pause , [they]3842-they began to arrange the manner of [her]3841-her going , and to speak of the length of time that [she]3841-her might be absent on [her]3841-her temporary duties . In talking of [her]3841-her return , [they]3842-they assumed it to be certain , although the exact time when was to [them]3842-they unknown , and would be dependent entirely on the duration of the fever ; but not the less , in [their]3842-they secret hearts , did [they]3842-they feel where alone the issue lay . [Ruth]81-ruth was to communicate with [Leonard]104-leonard and [Miss Faith]164-miss faith through [Mr Benson]143-mr benson alone , who insisted on [his]143-mr benson determination to go every evening to [the Hospital]3843-the hospital to learn the proceedings of the day , and the state of [Ruth]81-ruth 's health . " It is not alone on [your]4347-my darling account , [[my]851-all dear]4145-my dear ! There may be [many sick people of whom]6667-many sick people of whom , if [I]851-all can give no other comfort , [I]851-all can take intelligence to [[their]6667-many sick people of whom friends]306-their friends . "[851-all] [All]851-all was settled with grave composure ; yet still [Ruth]81-ruth lingered , as if nerving [herself]81-ruth up for some effort . At length [she]81-ruth said , with a faint smile upon [her]81-ruth pale face : " [I]81-ruth believe [I]81-ruth am [a great coward]6669-a great coward . [I]81-ruth stand here talking because [I]81-ruth dread to tell [Leonard]104-leonard . "[81-ruth] " [You]81-ruth must not think of it , "[3845-you] exclaimed [he]3845-you . " Leave it to [me]81-ruth . It is sure to unnerve [you]81-ruth . "[81-ruth] " [I]81-ruth must think of it . [I]81-ruth shall have self - control enough in a minute to do it calmly -- to speak hopefully . For only think , "[81-ruth] continued [she]81-ruth , smiling through the tears that would gather in [her]81-ruth eyes , " what a comfort the remembrance of the last few words may be to [the poor fellow]6670-the poor fellow , if-- "[81-ruth] The words were choked , but [she]81-ruth smiled bravely on . " No ! "[81-ruth] said [she]81-ruth , " that must be done ; but perhaps [you]3845-you will spare [me]81-ruth one thing -- will [you]3845-you tell [Aunt Faith]252-aunt faith ? [I]81-ruth suppose [I]81-ruth am very weak , but , knowing that [I]81-ruth must go , and not knowing what may be the end , [I]81-ruth feel as if [I]81-ruth could not bear to resist [her]252-aunt faith entreaties just at last . Will [you]3845-you tell [her]252-aunt faith , [sir]4181-sir , while [I]81-ruth go to [Leonard]104-leonard ? "[81-ruth] Silently [he]3846-he consented , and [the two]1675-the two rose up and came forth , calm and serene . And calmly and gently did [Ruth]81-ruth tell [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy of [her]81-ruth purpose ; not daring even to use any unaccustomed tenderness of voice or gesture , lest , by so doing , [she]81-ruth should alarm [him]3846-he unnecessarily as to the result . [She]81-ruth spoke hopefully , and bade [him]3846-he be of good courage ; and [he]3846-he caught [her]81-ruth bravery , though [[his]3846-he , [poor boy]3850-poor boy]3849-his , poor boy , had root rather in [his]3846-he ignorance of the actual imminent danger than in [her]81-ruth deep faith . When [he]3846-he had gone down , [Ruth]81-ruth began to arrange [her]81-ruth dress . When [she]81-ruth came [downstairs]4556-downstairs [she]81-ruth went into [the old familiar garden]3852-the old familiar garden and gathered a nosegay of the last lingering autumn flowers -- a few roses and the like . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had tutored [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister well ; and although [Miss Faith]164-miss faith 's face was swollen with crying , [she]164-miss faith spoke with almost exaggerated cheerfulness to [Ruth]81-ruth . Indeed , as [they]3854-they all stood at the front door , making - believe to have careless nothings to say , just as at an ordinary leave - taking , [you]3855-you would not have guessed the strained chords of feeling there were in each heart . [They]3854-they lingered on , the last rays of the setting sun falling on [the group]3856-the group . [Ruth]81-ruth once or twice had roused [herself]81-ruth to the pitch of saying " Good - bye , "[81-ruth] but when [her]81-ruth eye fell on [Leonard]104-leonard [she]81-ruth was forced to hide the quivering of [her]81-ruth lips , and conceal [her]81-ruth trembling mouth amid the bunch of roses . " [They]3854-they wo n't let [you]81-ruth have [your]81-ruth flowers , [I]143-mr benson 'm afraid , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson . " [Doctors]6672-doctors so often object to the smell . "[143-mr benson] " No ; perhaps not , "[81-ruth] said [Ruth]81-ruth , hurriedly . " [I]81-ruth did not think of it . [I]81-ruth will only keep this one rose . Here , [Leonard]104-leonard , [darling]4344-darling ! "[81-ruth] [She]81-ruth gave the rest to [him]104-leonard . It was [her]81-ruth farewell ; for having now no veil to hide [her]81-ruth emotion , [she]81-ruth summoned all [her]81-ruth bravery for one parting smile , and , smiling , turned away . But [she]81-ruth gave one look back from [the street]347-the street , just from the last point at which the door could be seen , and catching a glimpse of [Leonard]104-leonard standing foremost on the step , [she]81-ruth ran back , and [he]104-leonard met [her]81-ruth half - way , and [mother]4127-mother and [child]895-child spoke never a word in that close embrace . " Now , [Leonard]104-leonard , "[164-miss faith] said [Miss Faith]164-miss faith , " be [a brave boy]6674-a brave boy . [I]164-miss faith feel sure [she]81-ruth will come back to [us]6675-us before very long . "[164-miss faith] But [she]81-ruth was very near crying [herself]81-ruth ; and [she]81-ruth would have given way , [I]0-i believe , if [she]81-ruth had not found the wholesome outlet of scolding [Sally]148-sally , for expressing just the same opinion respecting [Ruth]81-ruth 's proceedings as [she]81-ruth [herself]81-ruth had done not two hours before . Taking what [[her]81-ruth brother]982-her brother had said to [her]81-ruth as a text , [she]81-ruth delivered such a lecture to [Sally]148-sally on want of faith that [she]81-ruth was astonished at [herself]81-ruth , and so much affected by what [she]81-ruth had said that [she]81-ruth had to shut the door of communication between [the kitchen]862-the kitchen and [the parlour]712-the parlour pretty hastily , in order to prevent [Sally]148-sally 's threatened reply from weakening [her]81-ruth belief in the righteousness of what [Ruth]81-ruth had done . [Her]81-ruth words had gone beyond [her]81-ruth conviction . Evening after evening [Mr Benson]143-mr benson went forth to gain news of [Ruth]81-ruth ; and night after night [he]143-mr benson returned with good tidings . The fever , it is true , raged ; but no plague came nigh [her]81-ruth . [He]143-mr benson said [her]81-ruth face was ever calm and bright , except when clouded by sorrow as [she]81-ruth gave the accounts of the deaths which occurred in spite of every care . [He]143-mr benson said [he]143-mr benson had never seen [her]81-ruth face so fair and gentle as it was now , when [she]81-ruth was living in the midst of disease and woe . One evening [Leonard]104-leonard ( for [they]3863-they had grown bolder as to the infection ) accompanied [him]143-mr benson to [the street on which [the hospital]3843-the hospital abutted]3864-the street on which the hospital abutted . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson left [him]143-mr benson [there]332-there , and told [him]143-mr benson to return [home]4124-home ; but [the boy]4189-the boy lingered , attracted by [the crowd that had gathered]3869-the crowd that had gathered , and were gazing up intently towards the lighted windows of [the hospital]3843-the hospital . There was nothing beyond to be seen ; but [the greater part of [these poor people]3872-these poor people]3871-the greater part of these poor people had [friends]678-friends or relations in [that palace of Death]3874-that palace of death . [Leonard]104-leonard stood and listened . At first [their]3863-they talk consisted of vague and exaggerated accounts ( if such could be exaggerated ) of the horrors of the fever . Then [they]3863-they spoke of [Ruth]81-ruth -- of [[his]143-mr benson mother]655-his mother ; and [Leonard]104-leonard held [his]104-leonard breath to hear . " [They]3863-they say [she]81-ruth has been [a great sinner]6676-a great sinner , and that this is [her]81-ruth penance , "[321-one] quoth [one]321-one . And as [Leonard]104-leonard gasped , before rushing forward to give [the speaker straight the lie]3877-the speaker straight the lie , [an old man]2602-an old man spoke : " [Such a one as [her]81-ruth]6677-such a one as her has never been [a great sinner]6676-a great sinner ; nor does [she]81-ruth do [her]81-ruth work as a penance , but for the love of [God]104-leonard , and of [the blessed Jesus]6679-the blessed jesus . [She]81-ruth will be in the light of [God]104-leonard 's countenance when [you]104-leonard and [I]879-the old man will be standing afar off . [I]879-the old man tell [you]104-leonard , [man]661-man , when [[my]879-the old man poor wench]6681-my poor wench died , as [no one]517-no one would come near , [her]81-ruth head lay at that hour on [this woman]5627-this woman 's sweet breast . [I]879-the old man could fell [you]104-leonard , "[879-the old man] [the old man]879-the old man went on , lifting [his]879-the old man shaking arm , " for calling [that woman]6138-that woman [a great sinner]6676-a great sinner . The blessing of [them]6686-them [who were ready to perish]6687-who were ready to perish is upon [her]6138-that woman . "[879-the old man] Immediately there arose a clamour of tongues , each with some tale of [[his]879-the old man mother]655-his mother 's gentle doings , till [Leonard]104-leonard grew dizzy with the beatings of [his]104-leonard glad , proud heart . [Few]2104-few were aware how much [Ruth]81-ruth had done ; [she]81-ruth never spoke of it , shrinking with sweet shyness from over - much allusion to [her]81-ruth own work at all times . [Her]81-ruth left hand truly knew not what [her]81-ruth right hand did ; and [Leonard]104-leonard was overwhelmed now to hear of the love and the reverence with which [the poor and outcast]3882-the poor and outcast had surrounded [her]81-ruth . It was irrepressible . [He]104-leonard stepped forward with a proud bearing , and touching [the old man]879-the old man 's arm who had first spoken , [Leonard]104-leonard tried to speak ; but for an instant [he]104-leonard could not , [his]104-leonard heart was too full : tears came before words , but at length [he]104-leonard managed to say : " [Sir]4181-sir , [I]4636-an old woman am [[her]81-ruth son]990-her son ! "[4636-an old woman] " [Thou]6690-thou ! [thou]6690-thou [her]81-ruth bairn ! God bless [you]4636-an old woman , [lad]5213-lad , "[4636-an old woman] said [an old woman]4636-an old woman , pushing through [the crowd]3885-the crowd . " It was but last night [she]81-ruth kept [[my]4636-an old woman child]5259-my child quiet with singing psalms the night through . Low and sweet , low and sweet , [they]3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures tell [me]4636-an old woman -- till [many poor things]6693-many poor things were hushed , though [they]3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures were out of [their]3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures minds , and had not heard psalms this many a year . God in heaven bless [you]4636-an old woman , [lad]5213-lad ! "[4636-an old woman] [Many other wild , woe - begone creatures]3886-many other wild , woe - begone creatures pressed forward with blessings on [[Ruth]81-ruth 's son]3887-ruth 's son , while [he]3887-ruth 's son could only repeat : " [She]81-ruth is [[my]3887-ruth 's son mother]4247-my mother . "[3887-ruth 's son] From that day forward [Leonard]104-leonard walked erect in [the streets of [Eccleston]36-eccleston]3888-the streets of eccleston , where " [many]652-many arose and called [her]81-ruth blessed . "[104-leonard] After some weeks the virulence of the fever abated ; and the general panic subsided -- indeed , a kind of fool - hardiness succeeded . To be sure , in some instances the panic still held possession of [individuals]3889-individuals to an exaggerated extent . But the number of [patients in [the hospital]3843-the hospital]3890-patients in the hospital was rapidly diminishing , and , for money , [those]3892-those were to be found who could supply [[Ruth]81-ruth 's place]385-ruth 's place . But to [her]81-ruth it was owing that the overwrought fear of [the town]396-the town was subdued ; it was [she]81-ruth who had gone voluntarily , and , with no thought of greed or gain , right into the very jaws of the fierce disease . [She]81-ruth bade [the inmates of [the hospital]3843-the hospital]3895-the inmates of the hospital farewell , and after carefully submitting [herself]81-ruth to the purification recommended by [Mr Davis]275-mr davis , [the principal surgeon of [the place]444-the place]3897-the principal surgeon of the place , who had always attended [Leonard]104-leonard , [she]81-ruth returned to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's just at gloaming time . [They]3899-they each vied with [the other]380-the other in the tenderest cares . [They]3899-they hastened tea ; [they]3899-they wheeled the sofa to the fire ; [they]3899-they made [her]81-ruth lie down ; and to all [she]81-ruth submitted with the docility of [a child]556-a child ; and when the candles came , even [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's anxious eye could see no change in [her]81-ruth looks , but that [she]81-ruth seemed a little paler . The eyes were as full of spiritual light , the gently parted lips as rosy , and the smile , if more rare , yet as sweet as ever . CHAPTER XXXIV " [I]143-mr benson Must Go and [Nurse Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham "[143-mr benson] The next morning , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson would insist upon making [Ruth]81-ruth lie down on the sofa . [Ruth]81-ruth longed to do many things ; to be much more active ; but [she]81-ruth submitted , when [she]81-ruth found that it would gratify [Miss Faith]164-miss faith if [she]81-ruth remained as quiet as if [she]81-ruth were really [an invalid]3902-an invalid . [Leonard]104-leonard sat by [her]81-ruth holding [her]81-ruth hand . Every now and then [he]104-leonard looked up from [his]104-leonard book , as if to make sure that [she]81-ruth indeed was restored to [him]104-leonard . [He]104-leonard had brought [her]81-ruth down the flowers which [she]81-ruth had given [him]104-leonard the day of [her]81-ruth departure , and which [he]104-leonard had kept in water as long as they had any greenness or fragrance , and then had carefully dried and put by . [She]81-ruth too , smiling , had produced the one rose which [she]81-ruth had carried away to [the hospital]3843-the hospital . Never had the bond between [her]81-ruth and [[her]81-ruth boy]2051-her boy been drawn so firm and strong . [Many visitors]3905-many visitors came this day to [the quiet Chapel - house]3906-the quiet chapel - house . First of all [Mrs Farquhar]266-mrs farquhar appeared . [She]266-mrs farquhar looked very different from [the Jemima Bradshaw]217-jemima of three years ago . [Happiness]276-happiness had called out beauty ; the colouring of [her]266-mrs farquhar face was lovely , and vivid as that of an autumn day ; [her]266-mrs farquhar berry - red lips scarce closed over the short white teeth for [her]266-mrs farquhar smiles ; and [her]266-mrs farquhar large dark eyes glowed and sparkled with daily happiness . They were softened by a mist of tears as [she]266-mrs farquhar looked upon [Ruth]81-ruth . " Lie still ! Do n't move ! [You]81-ruth must be content to - day to be waited upon , and nursed ! [I]104-leonard have just seen [Miss Benson]143-mr benson in [the lobby]6697-the lobby , and had charge upon charge not to fatigue [you]81-ruth . Oh , [Ruth]81-ruth ! how [we]6698-we all love [you]81-ruth , now [we]6698-we have [you]81-ruth back again ! Do [you]81-ruth know , [I]104-leonard taught [Rosa]277-rosa to say [her]277-rosa prayers as soon as ever [you]81-ruth were gone to [that horrid place]6699-that horrid place , just on purpose that [her]277-rosa little innocent lips might pray for [you]81-ruth -- [I]104-leonard wish [you]81-ruth could hear [her]277-rosa say it--'Please , dear [God]104-leonard , keep [Ruth]81-ruth safe . ' Oh , [Leonard]104-leonard ! are not [you]104-leonard proud of [[your]104-leonard mother]4264-your mother ? "[104-leonard] [Leonard]104-leonard said " Yes , "[104-leonard] rather shortly , as if [he]104-leonard were annoyed that [any one else]4234-any one else should know , or even have a right to imagine , how proud [he]104-leonard was . [Jemima]217-jemima went on : " Now , [Ruth]81-ruth ! [I]217-jemima have got a plan for [you]81-ruth . [Walter]212-walter and [I]217-jemima have partly made it ; and partly it 's [papa]4310-papa 's doing . Yes , [dear]4155-dear ! [papa]4310-papa has been quite anxious to show [his]4310-papa respect for [you]81-ruth . [We]6704-we all want [you]81-ruth to go to [the dear Eagle 's Crag]6705-the dear eagle 's crag for this next month , and get strong , and have some change in that fine air at [Abermouth]50-abermouth . [I]217-jemima am going to take little [Rosa]277-rosa [there]332-there . [Papa]209-papa has lent it to [us]6704-we . And the weather is often very beautiful in November . "[217-jemima] " Thank [you]217-jemima very much . It is very tempting ; for [I]217-jemima have been almost longing for some such change . [I]217-jemima can not tell all at once whether [I]217-jemima can go ; but [I]217-jemima will see about it , if [you]217-jemima will let [me]217-jemima leave it open a little . "[217-jemima] " Oh ! as long as [you]217-jemima like , so that [you]217-jemima will but go at last . And , [Master Leonard]278-leonard ! [you]217-jemima are to come too . Now , [I]81-ruth know [I]81-ruth have [you]217-jemima on [my]81-ruth side . "[81-ruth] [Ruth]81-ruth thought of [the place]444-the place . [Her]81-ruth only reluctance arose from the remembrance of that one interview on [the sands]2867-the sands . That walk [she]81-ruth could never go again ; but how much remained ! How much that would be a charming balm and refreshment to [her]81-ruth ! " What happy evenings [we]6707-we shall have together ! Do [you]217-jemima know , [I]81-ruth think [Mary]263-mary and [Elizabeth]195-elizabeth may perhaps come . "[81-ruth] A bright gleam of sunshine came into [the room]357-the room . " Look ! how bright and propitious for [our]6707-we plans . [Dear Ruth]81-ruth , it seems like an omen for the future ! "[81-ruth] Almost while [she]81-ruth spoke , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson entered , bringing with [her]81-ruth [Mr Grey]280-mr grey , [the rector of [Eccleston]36-eccleston]3911-the rector of eccleston . [He]280-mr grey was [an elderly man]3912-an elderly man , short and stoutly - built , with something very formal in [his]280-mr grey manner ; but [any one]425-any one might feel sure of [his]280-mr grey steady benevolence who noticed the expression of [his]280-mr grey face , and especially of the kindly black eyes that gleamed beneath [his]280-mr grey grey and shaggy eyebrows . [Ruth]81-ruth had seen [him]280-mr grey at [the hospital]3843-the hospital once or twice , and [Mrs Farquhar]266-mrs farquhar had met [him]280-mr grey pretty frequently in general society . " Go and tell [[your]278-leonard uncle]6708-your uncle , "[143-mr benson] said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson to [Leonard]278-leonard . " Stop , [[my]143-mr benson boy]3052-my boy ! [I]143-mr benson have just met [Mr Benson]143-mr benson in [the street]347-the street , and [my]143-mr benson errand now is to [[your]278-leonard mother]4264-your mother . [I]143-mr benson should like [you]278-leonard to remain and hear what it is ; and [I]143-mr benson am sure that [my]143-mr benson business will give [these ladies"--bowing]6712-these ladies"--bowing[143-mr benson] to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Jemima--"so]281-jemima--"so much pleasure , that [I]278-leonard need not apologise for entering upon it in [their]6712-these ladies"--bowing presence . "[278-leonard] [He]278-leonard pulled out [his]278-leonard double eye - glass , saying , with a grave smile : " [You]4264-your mother ran away from [us]6713-us yesterday so quietly and cunningly , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , that [you]4264-your mother were , perhaps , not aware that [the Board]6714-the board was sitting at that very time , and trying to form a vote sufficiently expressive of [our]6713-us gratitude to [you]4264-your mother . As [Chairman]6715-chairman , [they]6712-these ladies"--bowing requested [me]278-leonard to present [you]4264-your mother with this letter , which [I]278-leonard shall have the pleasure of reading . "[278-leonard] With all due emphasis [he]278-leonard read aloud a formal letter from [the Secretary]3915-the secretary to [the Infirmary]3832-the infirmary , conveying a vote of thanks to [Ruth]81-ruth . [The good rector]3917-the good rector did not spare [her]81-ruth one word , from date to signature ; and then , folding the letter up , [he]278-leonard gave it to [Leonard]278-leonard , saying : " There , [sir]4181-sir ! when [you]4181-sir are [an old man]2602-an old man , [you]4181-sir may read that testimony to [[your]4181-sir mother]4264-your mother 's noble conduct with pride and pleasure . For , indeed , "[278-leonard] continued [he]278-leonard , turning to [Jemima]217-jemima , " no words can express the relief it was to [us]6719-us . [I]278-leonard speak of [the gentlemen composing [the Board of [the Infirmary]3832-the infirmary]6721-the board of the infirmary]6720-the gentlemen composing the board of the infirmary . When [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh came forward , the panic was at its height , and the alarm of course aggravated the disorder . [The poor creatures]3812-the poor creatures died rapidly ; there was hardly time to remove the dead bodies before [others]368-others were brought in to occupy the beds , so little help was to be procured on account of the universal terror ; and the morning when [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh offered [us]6719-us [her]156-mrs denbigh services , [we]6719-us seemed at the very worst . [I]278-leonard shall never forget the sensation of relief in [my]278-leonard mind when [she]156-mrs denbigh told [us]6719-us what [she]156-mrs denbigh proposed to do ; but [we]6719-us thought it right to warn [her]156-mrs denbigh to the full extent-- "[278-leonard] Nay , [madam]4543-madam , " said [he]0-i , catching a glimpse of [Ruth]81-ruth 's changing colour , "[4543-madam] [I]0-i will spare [you]4543-madam any more praises . [I]0-i will only say , if [I]0-i can be [a friend to [you]4543-madam]3919-a friend to you , or [a friend to [[your]4543-madam child]4796-your child]3920-a friend to your child , [you]4543-madam may command [my]0-i poor powers to the utmost . " [He]0-i got up , and bowing formally , [he]0-i took [his]0-i leave . [Jemima]217-jemima came and kissed [Ruth]81-ruth . [Leonard]278-leonard went [upstairs]1186-upstairs to put the precious letter away . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson sat crying heartily in a corner of [the room]357-the room . [Ruth]81-ruth went to [her]3922-her and threw [her]81-ruth arms round [her]3922-her neck , and said : "[0-i] [I]0-i could not tell [him]3922-her just then . [I]0-i durst not speak for fear of breaking down ; but if [I]0-i have done right , it was all owing to [you]4543-madam and [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . Oh ! [I]0-i wish [I]0-i had said how the thought first came into [my]0-i head from seeing the things [Mr Benson]143-mr benson has done so quietly ever since the fever first came amongst [us]3923-us . [I]0-i could not speak ; and it seemed as if [I]0-i was taking those praises to [myself]0-i , when all the time [I]0-i was feeling how little [I]0-i deserved them -- how it was all owing to [you]4543-madam . " "[4543-madam] Under [God]104-leonard , [Ruth]81-ruth , " said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , speaking through [her]81-ruth tears . "[81-ruth] Oh ! [I]0-i think there is nothing humbles one so much as undue praise . While [he]143-mr benson was reading that letter , [I]0-i could not help feeling how many things [I]0-i have done wrong ! Could [he]143-mr benson know of -- of what [I]0-i have been ? " asked [she]81-ruth , dropping [her]81-ruth voice very low . "[143-mr benson] Yes ! " said [Jemima]217-jemima , "[143-mr benson] [he]143-mr benson knew -- [everybody in [Eccleston]36-eccleston]3924-everybody in eccleston did know -- but the remembrance of those days is swept away . [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , " [she]81-ruth continued , for [she]81-ruth was anxious to turn the subject , "[143-mr benson] [you]143-mr benson must be on [my]0-i side , and persuade [Ruth]81-ruth to come to [Abermouth]50-abermouth for a few weeks . [I]0-i want [her]81-ruth and [Leonard]104-leonard both to come . " "[0-i] [I]0-i 'm afraid [[my]0-i brother]4794-my brother will think that [Leonard]104-leonard is missing [his]104-leonard lessons sadly . Just of late [we]3926-we could not wonder that [the poor child]997-the poor child 's heart was so full ; but [he]104-leonard must make haste , and get on all the more for [his]104-leonard idleness . " [Miss Benson]143-mr benson piqued [herself]143-mr benson on being [a disciplinarian]6727-a disciplinarian . "[212-walter] Oh , as for lessons , [Walter]212-walter is so very anxious that [you]143-mr benson should give way to [his]212-walter superior wisdom , [Ruth]81-ruth , and let [Leonard]104-leonard go to [school]680-school . [He]212-walter will send [him]104-leonard to [any school [you]143-mr benson fix upon]3929-any school you fix upon , according to the mode of life [you]143-mr benson plan for [him]104-leonard . " "[0-i] [I]0-i have no plan , " said [Ruth]81-ruth . "[0-i] [I]0-i have no means of planning . All [I]0-i can do is to try and make [him]104-leonard ready for anything . " "[0-i] Well , " said [Jemima]217-jemima , "[0-i] [we]3930-we must talk it over at [Abermouth]50-abermouth ; for [I]0-i am sure [you]143-mr benson wo n't refuse to come , dearest , dear [Ruth]81-ruth ! Think of the quiet , sunny days , and the still evenings , that [we]3930-we shall have together , with little [Rosa]277-rosa to tumble about among the fallen leaves ; and there 's [Leonard]104-leonard to have [his]104-leonard first sight of [the sea]549-the sea . " "[104-leonard] [I]0-i do think of it , " said [Ruth]81-ruth , smiling at the happy picture [Jemima]217-jemima drew . And both smiling at the hopeful prospect before [them]3930-we , [they]3930-we parted -- never to meet again in life . No sooner had [Mrs Farquhar]266-mrs farquhar gone than [Sally]148-sally burst in . "[0-i] Oh ! dear , [dear]4155-dear ! " said [she]148-sally , looking around [her]148-sally . "[0-i] If [I]0-i had but known that [the rector]3933-the rector was coming to call , [I]0-i 'd [ha]3934-ha ' put on the best covers , and the Sunday tablecloth ! [You]4155-dear 're well enough , " continued [she]148-sally , surveying [Ruth]81-ruth from head to foot ; "[4155-dear] [you]4155-dear 're always trim and dainty in [your]4155-dear gowns , though [I]0-i reckon they cost but tuppence a yard , and [you]4155-dear 've a face to set ['em]3935-'em off ; but as for [you]4155-dear " ( as [she]148-sally turned to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ) , "[0-i] [I]0-i think [you]4155-dear might ha ' had something better on than that old stuff , if it had only been to do credit to [a parishioner like [me]0-i]3936-a parishioner like me , whom [he]3933-the rector has known ever sin ' [[my]0-i father]4925-my father was [[his]3933-the rector clerk]3938-his clerk . " "[4155-dear] [You]4155-dear forget , [Sally]148-sally , [I]0-i have been making jelly all the morning . How could [I]0-i tell it was [Mr Grey]280-mr grey when there was a knock at the door ? " [Miss Benson]143-mr benson replied . "[280-mr grey] [You]4155-dear might ha ' letten [me]0-i do the jelly ; [I'se]0-i warrant [I]0-i could ha ' pleased [Ruth]81-ruth as well as [you]4155-dear . If [I]0-i had but known [he]280-mr grey was coming , [I]0-i 'd ha ' slipped round the corner and bought [ye]4155-dear a neck - ribbon , or summut to lighten [ye]4155-dear up . [I'se]0-i loath [he]280-mr grey should think [I]0-i 'm living with [Dissenters]5003-dissenters , that do n't know how to keep [themselves]5003-dissenters trig and smart . " "[280-mr grey] Never mind , [Sally]148-sally ; [he]280-mr grey never thought of [me]0-i . What [he]280-mr grey came for , was to see [Ruth]81-ruth ; and , as [you]4155-dear say , [she]81-ruth 's always neat and dainty . " "[81-ruth] Well ! [I]0-i reckon it can not be helped now ; but if [I]0-i buy [ye]4155-dear a ribbon , will [you]4155-dear promise to wear it when [church - folks]3940-church - folks come ? for [I]0-i can not abide the way [they]3940-church - folks have of scoffing at [the Dissenters]1871-the dissenters about [their]3940-church - folks dress . " "[3940-church - folks] Very well ! [we]3942-we 'll make that bargain , " said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ; "[3942-we] and now , [Ruth]81-ruth , [I]0-i 'll go and fetch [you]81-ruth a cup of warm jelly . " "[0-i] Oh ! indeed , [Aunt Faith]252-aunt faith , " said [Ruth]81-ruth , "[252-aunt faith] [I]0-i am very sorry to balk [you]252-aunt faith ; but if [you]252-aunt faith 're going to treat [me]0-i as [an invalid]3902-an invalid , [I]0-i am afraid [I]0-i shall rebel . " But when [she]81-ruth found that [Aunt Faith]252-aunt faith 's heart was set upon it , [she]81-ruth submitted very graciously , only dimpling up a little , as [she]81-ruth found that [she]81-ruth must consent to lie on the sofa , and be fed , when , in truth , [she]81-ruth felt full of health , with a luxurious sensation of languor stealing over [her]81-ruth now and then , just enough to make it very pleasant to think of the salt breezes , and the sea beauty which awaited [her]81-ruth at [Abermouth]50-abermouth . [Mr Davis]275-mr davis called in the afternoon , and [his]275-mr davis visit was also to [Ruth]81-ruth . [Mr]6728-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson were sitting with [her]81-ruth in [the parlour]712-the parlour , and watching [her]81-ruth with contented love , as [she]81-ruth employed [herself]81-ruth in household sewing , and hopefully spoke about the Abermouth plan . "[0-i] Well ! so [you]3944-you had [[our]3945-our worthy rector]3946-our worthy rector here to - day ; [I]0-i am come on something of the same kind of errand ; only [I]0-i shall spare [you]3944-you the reading of [my]0-i letter , which , [I]0-i 'll answer for it , [he]3946-our worthy rector did not . Please to take notice , " said [he]0-i , putting down a sealed letter , "[3946-our worthy rector] that [I]0-i have delivered [you]3944-you a vote of thanks from [[my]0-i medical brothers]3947-my medical brothers ; and open and read it at [your]3944-you leisure ; only not just now , for [I]0-i want to have a little talk with [you]3944-you on [my]0-i own behoof . [I]0-i want to ask [you]3944-you a favour , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . " "[0-i] A favour ! " exclaimed [Ruth]81-ruth ; "[0-i] what can [I]0-i do for [you]0-i ? [I]0-i think [I]0-i may say [I]0-i will do it , without hearing what it is . " "[0-i] Then [you]3944-you 're [a very imprudent woman]3948-a very imprudent woman , " replied [he]0-i ; "[3944-you] however , [I]0-i 'll take [you]3944-you at [your]3944-you word . [I]0-i want [you]3944-you to give [me]0-i [[your]3944-you boy]2992-your boy . " "[104-leonard] [Leonard]104-leonard ! " "[104-leonard] Aye ! there it is , [you]3944-you see , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . One minute [she]3950-she is as ready as can be , and the next , [she]3950-she looks at [me]0-i as if [I]0-i was [an ogre]3951-an ogre ! " "[3950-she] Perhaps [we]3952-we do n't understand what [you]3944-you mean , " said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . "[3944-you] The thing is this . [You]3944-you know [I]0-i 've [no children]3066-no children ; and [I]0-i ca n't say [I]0-i 've ever fretted over it much ; but [[my]0-i wife]6584-my wife has ; and whether it is that [she]6584-my wife has infected [me]0-i , or that [I]0-i grieve over [my]0-i good practice going to [a stranger]2130-a stranger , when [I]0-i ought to have had [a son]3956-a son to take it after [me]0-i , [I]0-i do n't know ; but , of late , [I]0-i 've got to look with covetous eyes on [all healthy boys]3957-all healthy boys , and at last [I]0-i 've settled down [my]0-i wishes on [this Leonard of [yours]3959-yours]3958-this leonard of yours , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . " [Ruth]81-ruth could not speak ; for , even yet , [she]81-ruth did not understand what [he]0-i meant . [He]0-i went on : "[156-mrs denbigh] Now , how old is [the lad]4193-the lad ? " [He]0-i asked [Ruth]81-ruth , but [Miss Benson]143-mr benson replied : "[4193-the lad] [He]4193-the lad 'll be twelve next [February]282-february . " "[282-february] Umph ! only twelve ! [He]4193-the lad 's tall and old - looking for [his]4193-the lad age . [You]3961-you look young enough , it is true . " [He]0-i said this last sentence as if to [himself]0-i , but seeing [Ruth]81-ruth crimson up , [he]0-i abruptly changed [his]0-i tone . "[4193-the lad] Twelve , is [he]4193-the lad ! Well , [I]0-i take [him]4193-the lad from now . [I]0-i do n't mean that [I]0-i really take [him]4193-the lad away from [you]3961-you , " said [he]0-i , softening all at once , and becoming grave and considerate . "[0-i] [His]4193-the lad being [[your]3961-you son]1455-your son -- [the son of one whom [I]0-i have seen]3963-the son of one whom i have seen -- as [I]0-i have seen [you]3961-you , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ( out and out [the best nurse [I]0-i ever met with]3964-the best nurse i ever met with , [Miss Benson]143-mr benson ; and [good nurses]3965-good nurses are things [we]3966-we [doctors]6672-doctors know how to value)--his being [[your]3961-you son]1455-your son is [his]4193-the lad great recommendation to [me]0-i ; not but what [the lad]4193-the lad [himself]4193-the lad is [a noble boy]3970-a noble boy . [I]0-i shall be glad to leave [him]4193-the lad with [you]3961-you as long and as much as [we]3966-we can ; [he]4193-the lad could not be tied to [your]3961-you apron - strings all [his]4193-the lad life , [you]3961-you know . Only [I]0-i provide for [his]4193-the lad education , subject to [your]3961-you consent and good pleasure , and [he]4193-the lad is bound apprentice to [me]0-i . [I]0-i , [[his]4193-the lad guardian]3971-his guardian , bind [him]4193-the lad to [myself]0-i , [the first surgeon in [Eccleston]36-eccleston]3972-the first surgeon in eccleston , be the other who [he]4193-the lad may ; and in process of time [he]4193-the lad becomes [partner]3973-partner , and some day or other succeeds [me]0-i . Now , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , what have [you]156-mrs denbigh got to say against this plan ? [[My]0-i wife]6584-my wife is just as full of it as [me]0-i . Come ! begin with [your]3961-you objections . [You]3961-you 're not [a woman]834-a woman if [you]3961-you have not a whole bag - full of [them]3976-them ready to turn out against any reasonable proposal . " "[0-i] [I]0-i do n't know , " faltered [Ruth]81-ruth . "[0-i] It is so sudden-- " "[0-i] It is very , very kind of [you]3961-you , [Mr Davis]275-mr davis , " said [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , a little scandalised at [Ruth]81-ruth 's non - expression of gratitude . "[275-mr davis] Pooh ! pooh ! [I]0-i 'll answer for it , in the long run , [I]0-i am taking good care of [my]0-i own interests . Come , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , is it a bargain ? " Now [Mr Benson]143-mr benson spoke . "[275-mr davis] [Mr Davis]275-mr davis , it is rather sudden , as [she]6584-my wife says . As far as [I]0-i can see , it is the best as well as the kindest proposal that could have been made ; but [I]0-i think [we]3977-we must give [her]6584-my wife a little time to think about it . " "[6584-my wife] Well , twenty - four hours ! Will that do ? " [Ruth]81-ruth lifted up [her]81-ruth head . "[275-mr davis] [Mr Davis]275-mr davis , [I]0-i am not ungrateful because [I]0-i ca n't thank [you]275-mr davis " ( [she]6584-my wife was crying while [she]6584-my wife spoke ) ; "[275-mr davis] let [me]0-i have a fortnight to consider about it . In a fortnight [I]0-i will make up [my]0-i mind . Oh , how good [you]275-mr davis all are ! " "[275-mr davis] Very well . Then this day fortnight -- Thursday the 28th -- [you]275-mr davis will let [me]0-i know [your]275-mr davis decision . Mind ! if it 's against [me]0-i , [I]0-i sha n't consider it a decision , for [I]0-i 'm determined to carry [my]0-i point . [I]0-i 'm not going to make [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh blush , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , by telling [you]275-mr davis , in [her]156-mrs denbigh presence , of all [I]0-i have observed about [her]156-mrs denbigh this last three weeks , that has made [me]0-i sure of the good qualities [I]0-i shall find in [this boy of [hers]156-mrs denbigh]3978-this boy of hers . [I]0-i was watching [her]156-mrs denbigh when [she]156-mrs denbigh little thought it . Do [you]275-mr davis remember that night when [Hector O'Brien]283-hector o'brien was so furiously delirious , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh ? " [Ruth]81-ruth went very white at the remembrance . "[156-mrs denbigh] Why now , look there ! how pale [she]156-mrs denbigh is at the very thought of it . And yet , [I]0-i assure [you]275-mr davis , [she]156-mrs denbigh was the one to go up and take the piece of glass from [him]3979-him which [he]3979-him had broken out of the window for the sole purpose of cutting [his]3979-him throat , or the throat of [any one else]4234-any one else , for that matter . [I]0-i wish [we]3981-we had [some others]3982-some others as brave as [she]156-mrs denbigh is . " "[0-i] [I]0-i thought the great panic was passed away ! " said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . "[0-i] Aye ! the general feeling of alarm is much weaker ; but , here and there , there are [as great fools as ever]3983-as great fools as ever . Why , when [I]0-i leave here , [I]0-i am going to see [[our]3981-we precious member]3984-our precious member , [Mr Donne--]3985-mr donne-- " "[225-mr donne] [Mr Donne]225-mr donne ? " said [Ruth]81-ruth . "[225-mr donne] [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , who lies ill at [the Queen's]3986-the queen's -- came last week , with the intention of canvassing , but was too much alarmed by what [he]225-mr donne heard of the fever to set to work ; and , in spite of all [his]225-mr donne precautions , [he]225-mr donne has taken it ; and [you]3987-you should see the terror [they]3988-they are in at [the hotel]3989-the hotel ; [landlord]3990-landlord , [landlady]3991-landlady , [waiters]3992-waiters , [servants]831-servants -- all ; there 's [not a creature]3994-not a creature will go near [him]225-mr donne , if [they]3988-they can help it ; and there 's only [[his]225-mr donne groom]3995-his groom -- [a lad [he]225-mr donne saved from drowning]3996-a lad he saved from drowning , [I]0-i 'm told -- to do anything for [him]225-mr donne . [I]0-i must get [him]225-mr donne [a proper nurse]3997-a proper nurse , somehow or somewhere , for all [my]0-i being [a Cranworth man]3998-a cranworth man . Ah , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ! [you]143-mr benson do n't know the temptations [we]3999-we [medical men]4000-medical men have . Think , if [I]0-i allowed [[your]143-mr benson member]4001-your member to die now , as [he]225-mr donne might very well , if [he]225-mr donne had [no nurse]4002-no nurse -- how famously [Mr Cranworth]223-mr cranworth would walk over the course!--Where 's [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh gone to ? [I]0-i hope [I]0-i 've not frightened [her]156-mrs denbigh away by reminding [her]156-mrs denbigh of [Hector O'Brien]283-hector o'brien , and that awful night , when [I]0-i do assure [you]143-mr benson [she]156-mrs denbigh behaved like [a heroine]5152-a heroine ! " As [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was showing [Mr Davis]275-mr davis out , [Ruth]81-ruth opened the study - door , and said , in a very calm , low voice : "[143-mr benson] [Mr Benson]143-mr benson ! will [you]143-mr benson allow [me]0-i to speak to [Mr Davis]275-mr davis alone ? " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson immediately consented , thinking that , in all probability , [she]81-ruth wished to ask some further questions about [Leonard]104-leonard ; but as [Mr Davis]275-mr davis came into [the room]357-the room , and shut the door , [he]275-mr davis was struck by [her]81-ruth pale , stern face of determination , and awaited [her]81-ruth speaking first . "[275-mr davis] [Mr Davis]275-mr davis ! [I]0-i must go and nurse [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham , " said [she]81-ruth at last , clenching [her]81-ruth hands tight together , but no other part of [her]81-ruth body moving from its intense stillness . "[0-i] [Mr Bellingham]94-mr bellingham ? " asked [he]275-mr davis , astonished at the name . "[94-mr bellingham] [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , [I]0-i mean , " said [she]81-ruth , hurriedly . "[225-mr donne] [His]94-mr bellingham name was [Bellingham]94-mr bellingham . " "[94-mr bellingham] Oh ! [I]0-i remember hearing [he]94-mr bellingham had changed [his]94-mr bellingham name for [some property]4004-some property . But [you]225-mr donne must not think of any more such work just now . [You]225-mr donne are not fit for it . [You]225-mr donne are looking as white as ashes . " "[225-mr donne] [I]0-i must go , " [she]6731-she repeated . "[0-i] Nonsense ! Here 's [a man who can pay for the care of [the first hospital nurses in [London]3-london]4006-the first hospital nurses in london]4005-a man who can pay for the care of the first hospital nurses in london -- and [I]0-i doubt if [his]4005-a man who can pay for the care of the first hospital nurses in london life is worth the risk of one of [theirs]4006-the first hospital nurses in london even , much more of [yours]225-mr donne . " "[0-i] [We]4007-we have no right to weigh human lives against [each other]579-each other . " "[0-i] No ! [I]0-i know [we]4007-we have not . But it 's a way [[we]4007-we [doctors]6672-doctors]4009-we doctors are apt to get into ; and , at any rate , it 's ridiculous of [you]225-mr donne to think of such a thing . Just listen to reason . " "[0-i] [I]0-i ca n't ! [I]0-i ca n't ! " cried [she]6732-she , with sharp pain in [her]6732-she voice . "[0-i] [You]225-mr donne must let [me]0-i go , [dear Mr Davis]275-mr davis ! " said [she]6732-she , now speaking with soft entreaty . "[275-mr davis] No ! " said [he]275-mr davis , shaking [his]275-mr davis head authoritatively . "[275-mr davis] [I]0-i 'll do no such thing . " "[0-i] Listen , " said [she]6732-she , dropping [her]6732-she voice , and going all over the deepest scarlet ; "[4011-he] [he]4011-he is [[Leonard]104-leonard 's father]2912-leonard 's father ! Now ! [you]275-mr davis will let [me]0-i go ! " [Mr Davis]275-mr davis was indeed staggered by what [she]6732-she said , and for a moment [he]275-mr davis did not speak . So [she]6732-she went on : "[275-mr davis] [You]275-mr davis will not tell ! [You]275-mr davis must not tell ! [No one]517-no one knows , not even [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , who it was . And now -- it might do [him]143-mr benson so much harm to have it known . [You]275-mr davis will not tell ! " "[275-mr davis] No ! [I]0-i will not tell , " replied [he]275-mr davis . "[0-i] But , [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh , [you]156-mrs denbigh must answer [me]0-i this one question , which [I]0-i ask [you]156-mrs denbigh in all true respect , but which [I]0-i must ask , in order to guide both [myself]0-i and [you]156-mrs denbigh aright -- of course [I]0-i knew [Leonard]104-leonard was illegitimate -- in fact , [I]0-i will give [you]156-mrs denbigh secret for secret : it was being so [myself]0-i that first made [me]0-i sympathise with [him]104-leonard , and desire to adopt [him]104-leonard . [I]0-i knew that much of [your]156-mrs denbigh history ; but tell [me]0-i , do [you]156-mrs denbigh now care for [this man]5490-this man ? Answer [me]0-i truly -- do [you]156-mrs denbigh love [him]104-leonard ? " For a moment or two [she]156-mrs denbigh did not speak ; [her]156-mrs denbigh head was bent down ; then [she]156-mrs denbigh raised it up , and looked with clear and honest eyes into [his]104-leonard face . "[156-mrs denbigh] [I]0-i have been thinking -- but [I]0-i do not know -- [I]0-i can not tell -- [I]0-i do n't think [I]0-i should love [him]104-leonard , if [he]104-leonard were well and happy -- but [you]156-mrs denbigh said [he]104-leonard was ill -- and alone -- how can [I]0-i help caring for [him?--how]4015-him?--how can [I]0-i help caring for [him]104-leonard ? " repeated [she]156-mrs denbigh , covering [her]156-mrs denbigh face with [her]156-mrs denbigh hands , and the quick hot tears stealing through [her]156-mrs denbigh fingers . "[0-i] [He]104-leonard is [[Leonard]104-leonard 's father]2912-leonard 's father , " continued [she]156-mrs denbigh , looking up at [Mr Davis]275-mr davis suddenly . "[104-leonard] [He]104-leonard need not know -- [he]104-leonard shall not -- that [I]0-i have ever been near [him]104-leonard . If [he]104-leonard is like [the others]4149-the others , [he]104-leonard must be delirious -- [I]0-i will leave [him]104-leonard before [he]104-leonard comes to [himself]104-leonard -- but now let [me]0-i go -- [I]0-i must go . " "[0-i] [I]0-i wish [my]0-i tongue had been bitten out before [I]0-i had named [him]104-leonard to [you]0-i . [He]104-leonard would do well enough without [you]0-i ; and , [I]0-i dare say , if [he]104-leonard recognises [you]0-i , [he]104-leonard will only be annoyed . " "[104-leonard] It is very likely , " said [Ruth]81-ruth , heavily . "[104-leonard] Annoyed,--why ! [he]104-leonard may curse [you]0-i for [your]0-i unasked - for care of [him]104-leonard . [I]0-i have heard [[my]0-i poor mother]4018-my poor mother -- and [she]4018-my poor mother was as pretty and delicate a creature as [you]0-i are -- cursed for showing tenderness when it was not wanted . Now , be persuaded by [an old man like [me]0-i , who has seen enough of life to make [his]104-leonard heart ache]4019-an old man like me , who has seen enough of life to make his heart ache -- leave [this fine gentleman]4020-this fine gentleman to [his]4020-this fine gentleman fate . [I]0-i 'll promise [you]0-i to get [him]104-leonard as good [a nurse]3567-a nurse as can be had for money . " "[0-i] No ! " said [Ruth]81-ruth , with dull persistency -- as if [she]81-ruth had not attended to [his]104-leonard dissuasions ; "[0-i] [I]0-i must go . [I]0-i will leave [him]104-leonard before [he]104-leonard recognises [me]0-i . " "[0-i] Why , then , " said [the old surgeon]6733-the old surgeon , "[0-i] if [you]0-i 're so bent upon it , [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i must let [you]0-i . It is but what [[my]0-i mother]4247-my mother would have done -- poor , heart - broken thing ! However , come along , and let [us]4023-us make the best of it . It saves [me]0-i a deal of trouble , [I]0-i know ; for , if [I]0-i have [you]0-i for a right hand , [I]0-i need not worry [myself]0-i continually with wondering how [he]104-leonard is taken care of . Go ! get [your]0-i bonnet , [[you]0-i tender - hearted fool of [a woman]834-a woman]4024-you tender - hearted fool of a woman ! Let [us]4023-us get [you]0-i out of [the house]426-the house without any more scenes or explanations ; [I]0-i 'll make all straight with [the Bensons]157-the bensons . " "[157-the bensons] [You]0-i will not tell [my]0-i secret , [Mr Davis]275-mr davis , " [she]5598-the woman said , abruptly . "[275-mr davis] No ! not [I]0-i ! Does [the woman]5598-the woman think [I]0-i had never to keep a secret of the kind before ? [I]0-i only hope [he]104-leonard 'll lose [his]104-leonard election , and never come near [the place]444-the place again . After all , " continued [he]0-i , sighing , "[0-i] [I]0-i suppose it is but human nature ! " [He]0-i began recalling the circumstances of [his]0-i own early life , and dreamily picturing scenes in the grey dying embers of the fire ; and [he]0-i was almost startled when [she]5598-the woman stood before [him]0-i , ready equipped , grave , pale , and quiet . "[0-i] Come along ! " said [he]0-i . "[0-i] If [you]5598-the woman 're to do any good at all , it must be in these next three days . After that , [I]0-i 'll ensure [his]104-leonard life for this bout ; and mind ! [I]0-i shall send [you]5598-the woman [home]4124-home then ; for [he]104-leonard might know [you]5598-the woman , and [I]0-i 'll have no excitement to throw [him]104-leonard back again , and no sobbing and crying from [you]5598-the woman . But now every moment [your]5598-the woman care is precious to [him]104-leonard . [I]0-i shall tell [my]0-i own story to [the Bensons]157-the bensons , as soon as [I]0-i have installed [you]5598-the woman . " [Mr Donne]225-mr donne lay in [the best room of [the Queen 's Hotel]6735-the queen 's hotel]6734-the best room of the queen 's hotel -- [no one with [him]225-mr donne but [his]225-mr donne faithful , ignorant servant , who was as much afraid of the fever as [any one else]4234-any one else could be , but who , nevertheless , would not leave [[his]225-mr donne master]6738-his master -- [[his]225-mr donne master who had saved [his]225-mr donne life as [a child]556-a child]6739-his master who had saved his life as a child , and afterwards put [him]225-mr donne in [the stables at [Bellingham Hall]71-bellingham hall]6741-the stables at bellingham hall , where [he]225-mr donne learnt all that [he]225-mr donne knew . [He]225-mr donne stood in a farther corner of [the room]357-the room , watching [[his]225-mr donne delirious master]6743-his delirious master with affrighted eyes , not daring to come near [him]6743-his delirious master , nor yet willing to leave [him]6743-his delirious master]6736-no one with him but his faithful , ignorant servant , who was as much afraid of the fever as any one else could be , but who , nevertheless , would not leave his master -- his master who had saved his life as a child , and afterwards put him in the stables at bellingham hall , where he learnt all that he knew . he stood in a farther corner of the room , watching his delirious master with affrighted eyes , not daring to come near him , nor yet willing to leave him . "[0-i] Oh ! if [that doctor]4030-that doctor would but come ! [He]4030-that doctor 'll kill [himself]4030-that doctor or [me]0-i -- and [[them]4031-them stupid servants]4032-them stupid servants wo n't stir a step over the threshold ; how shall [I]0-i get over the night ? Blessings on [him]4030-that doctor -- here 's [the old doctor]4033-the old doctor back again ! [I]0-i hear [him]4033-the old doctor creaking and scolding up the stairs ! " The door opened , and [Mr Davis]275-mr davis entered , followed by [Ruth]81-ruth . "[4033-the old doctor] Here 's [the nurse]1141-the nurse , [[my]0-i good man]4035-my good man -- [such a nurse as there is not in [the three counties]4037-the three counties]4036-such a nurse as there is not in the three counties . Now , all [you]4035-my good man 'll have to do is to mind what [she]1141-the nurse says . " "[1141-the nurse] Oh , [sir]4181-sir ! [he]4030-that doctor 's mortal bad ! wo n't [you]4181-sir stay with [us]4039-us through the night , [sir]4181-sir ? " "[4181-sir] Look there ! " whispered [Mr Davis]275-mr davis to [the man]5002-the man , "[4181-sir] see how [she]1141-the nurse knows how to manage [him]4030-that doctor ! Why , [I]0-i could not do it better [myself]0-i ! " [She]1141-the nurse had gone up to [the wild , raging figure]6745-the wild , raging figure , and with soft authority had made [him]5002-the man lie down : and then , placing a basin of cold water by the bedside , [she]1141-the nurse had dipped in it [her]1141-the nurse pretty hands , and was laying their cool dampness on [his]5002-the man hot brow , speaking in a low soothing voice all the time , in a way that acted like a charm in hushing [his]5002-the man mad talk . "[1141-the nurse] But [I]0-i will stay , " said [the doctor]4191-the doctor , after [he]0-i had examined [[his]0-i patient]344-his patient ; "[0-i] as much on [her]1141-the nurse account as [his]4030-that doctor ! and partly to quieten the fears of [this poor , faithful fellow]4041-this poor , faithful fellow . " CHAPTER XXXV Out of Darkness into Light The third night after this was to be the crisis -- the turning - point between Life and Death . [Mr Davis]275-mr davis came again to pass it by the bedside of [the sufferer]3576-the sufferer . [Ruth]81-ruth was there , constant and still , intent upon watching the symptoms , and acting according to [them]6749-them , in obedience to [Mr Davis]275-mr davis 's directions . [She]81-ruth had never left [the room]357-the room . Every sense had been strained in watching -- every power of thought or judgment had been kept on the full stretch . Now that [Mr Davis]275-mr davis came and took [her]81-ruth place , and that [the room]357-the room was quiet for the night , [she]81-ruth became oppressed with heaviness , which yet did not tend to sleep . [She]81-ruth could not remember the present time , or where [she]81-ruth was . All times of [her]81-ruth earliest youth -- the days of [her]81-ruth childhood -- were in [her]81-ruth memory with a minuteness and fulness of detail which was miserable ; for all along [she]81-ruth felt that [she]81-ruth had no real grasp on the scenes that were passing through [her]81-ruth mind -- that , somehow , they were long gone by , and gone by for ever -- and yet [she]81-ruth could not remember who [she]81-ruth was now , nor where [she]81-ruth was , and whether [she]81-ruth had now any interests in life to take the place of those which [she]81-ruth was conscious had passed away , although [their]6752-their remembrance filled [her]81-ruth mind with painful acuteness . [Her]81-ruth head lay on [her]81-ruth arms , and they rested on the table . Every now and then [she]81-ruth opened [her]81-ruth eyes , and saw [the large room]6753-the large room , handsomely furnished with articles that were each one incongruous with the other , as if bought at sales . [She]81-ruth saw the flickering night - light -- [she]81-ruth heard the ticking of the watch , and the two breathings , each going on at a separate rate -- one hurried , abruptly stopping , and then panting violently , as if to make up for lost time ; and the other slow , steady , and regular , as if [the breather]6754-the breather was asleep ; but this supposition was contradicted by an occasional repressed sound of yawning . The sky through the uncurtained window looked dark and black -- would this night never have an end ? Had the sun gone down for ever , and would [the world]506-the world at last awaken to a general sense of everlasting night ? Then [she]81-ruth felt as if [she]81-ruth ought to get up , and go and see how [the troubled sleeper in yonder bed]6756-the troubled sleeper in yonder bed was struggling through [his]6756-the troubled sleeper in yonder bed illness ; but [she]81-ruth could not remember who [the sleeper]6757-the sleeper was , and [she]81-ruth shrunk from seeing some phantom - face on the pillow , such as now began to haunt the dark corners of [the room]357-the room , and look at [her]81-ruth , jibbering and mowing as [they]6752-their looked . So [she]81-ruth covered [her]81-ruth face again , and sank into a whirling stupor of sense and feeling . By - and - by [she]81-ruth heard [[her]81-ruth fellow - watcher]6759-her fellow - watcher stirring , and a dull wonder stole over [her]81-ruth as to what [he]6759-her fellow - watcher was doing ; but [the heavy languor]6760-the heavy languor pressed [her]81-ruth down , and kept [her]81-ruth still . At last [she]81-ruth heard the words , "[1141-the nurse] Come here , " and listlessly obeyed the command . [She]81-ruth had to steady [herself]81-ruth in [the rocking chamber]6761-the rocking chamber before [she]81-ruth could walk to the bed by which [Mr Davis]275-mr davis stood ; but the effort to do so roused [her]81-ruth , and , although conscious of an oppressive headache , [she]81-ruth viewed with sudden and clear vision all the circumstances of [her]81-ruth present position . [Mr Davis]275-mr davis was near the head of the bed , holding the night - lamp high , and shading it with [his]275-mr davis hand , that it might not disturb [the sick person]6762-the sick person , who lay with [his]275-mr davis face towards [them]6763-them , in feeble exhaustion , but with every sign that the violence of the fever had left [him]275-mr davis . It so happened that the rays of the lamp fell bright and full upon [Ruth]81-ruth 's countenance , as [she]81-ruth stood with [her]81-ruth crimson lips parted with the hurrying breath , and the fever - flush brilliant on [her]81-ruth cheeks . [Her]81-ruth eyes were wide open , and their pupils distended . [She]81-ruth looked on the invalid in silence , and hardly understood why [Mr Davis]275-mr davis had summoned [her]81-ruth [there]332-there . "[1141-the nurse] Do n't [you]4042-you see the change ? [He]4043-he is better!--the crisis is past ! " But [she]81-ruth did not speak ; [her]81-ruth looks were riveted on [his]275-mr davis softly - unclosing eyes , which met [hers]81-ruth as they opened languidly . [She]81-ruth could not stir or speak . [She]81-ruth was held fast by that gaze of [his]275-mr davis , in which a faint recognition dawned , and grew to strength . [He]275-mr davis murmured some words . [They]6765-they strained [their]6765-they sense to hear . [He]275-mr davis repeated them even lower than before ; but this time [they]6765-they caught what [he]275-mr davis was saying . "[1141-the nurse] Where are the water - lilies ? Where are the lilies in [her]4043-he hair ? " [Mr Davis]275-mr davis drew [Ruth]81-ruth away . "[4043-he] [He]4043-he is still rambling , " said [he]275-mr davis , "[4043-he] but the fever has left [him]4043-he . " The grey dawn was now filling [the room]357-the room with its cold light ; was it that made [Ruth]81-ruth 's cheek so deadly pale ? Could that call out the wild entreaty of [her]81-ruth look , as if imploring help against some cruel foe that held [her]81-ruth fast , and was wrestling with [her]81-ruth Spirit of Life ? [She]81-ruth held [Mr Davis]275-mr davis 's arm . If [she]81-ruth had let it go , [she]81-ruth would have fallen . "[1141-the nurse] Take [me]0-i [home]4124-home , " [she]81-ruth said , and fainted dead away . [Mr Davis]275-mr davis carried [her]81-ruth out of [the chamber]6767-the chamber , and sent [the groom]6768-the groom to keep watch by [[his]275-mr davis master]6738-his master . [He]275-mr davis ordered a fly to convey [her]81-ruth to [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's]6770-mr benson 's , and lifted [her]81-ruth in when it came , for [she]81-ruth was still half unconscious . It was [he]275-mr davis who carried [her]81-ruth [upstairs]1186-upstairs to [[her]81-ruth room]792-her room , where [Miss Benson]143-mr benson and [Sally]148-sally undressed and laid [her]81-ruth in [her]81-ruth bed . [He]275-mr davis awaited [their]6773-their proceedings in [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's study]1717-mr benson 's study . When [Mr Benson]143-mr benson came in , [Mr Davis]275-mr davis said : "[1141-the nurse] Do n't blame [me]0-i . Do n't add to [my]0-i self - reproach . [I]0-i have killed [her]4045-she . [I]0-i was [a cruel fool]4046-a cruel fool to let [her]4045-she go . Do n't speak to [me]0-i . " "[4046-a cruel fool] It may not be so bad , " said [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , [himself]143-mr benson needing comfort in that shock . "[4045-she] [She]4045-she may recover . [She]4045-she surely will recover . [I]0-i believe [she]4045-she will . " "[0-i] No , no ! [she]4045-she wo n't . But by ---- [she]4045-she shall , if [I]0-i can save [her]4045-she . " [Mr Davis]275-mr davis looked defiantly at [Mr Benson]143-mr benson , as if [he]0-i were [Fate]284-fate . "[0-i] [I]0-i tell [you]0-i [she]4045-she shall recover , or else [I]0-i am [a murderer]4047-a murderer . What business had [I]0-i to take [her]4045-she to nurse [him--]4048-him-- " [He]275-mr davis was cut short by [Sally]148-sally 's entrance and announcement that [Ruth]81-ruth was now prepared to see [him]275-mr davis . From that time forward [Mr Davis]275-mr davis devoted all [his]275-mr davis leisure , [his]275-mr davis skill , [his]275-mr davis energy , to save [her]4045-she . [He]275-mr davis called on [the rival surgeon]6775-the rival surgeon to beg [him]275-mr davis to undertake the management of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's recovery , saying , with [his]0-i usual self - mockery , "[0-i] [I]0-i could not answer it to [Mr Cranworth]223-mr cranworth if [I]0-i had brought [[his]223-mr cranworth opponent]4049-his opponent round , [you]4050-you know , when [I]0-i had had such a fine opportunity in [my]0-i power . Now , with [[your]4050-you patients]4051-your patients , and general Radical interest , it will be rather a feather in [your]4050-you cap ; for [he]223-mr cranworth may want a good deal of care yet , though [he]223-mr cranworth is getting on famously -- so rapidly , in fact , that it 's a strong temptation to [me]0-i to throw [him]223-mr cranworth back -- a relapse , [you]4050-you know . " [The other surgeon]6776-the other surgeon bowed gravely , apparently taking [Mr Davis]275-mr davis in earnest , but certainly very glad of the job thus opportunely thrown in [his]275-mr davis way . In spite of [Mr Davis]275-mr davis 's real and deep anxiety about [Ruth]81-ruth , [he]275-mr davis could not help chuckling over [[his]275-mr davis rival]6777-his rival 's literal interpretation of all [he]275-mr davis had said . "[4050-you] To be sure , what [fools men]4052-fools men are ! [I]0-i do n't know why [one]321-one should watch and strive to keep [them]4052-fools men in [the world]506-the world . [I]0-i have given [this fellow]4055-this fellow something to talk about confidentially to all [[his]223-mr cranworth patients]4056-his patients ; [I]0-i wonder how much stronger a dose [the man]5002-the man would have swallowed ! [I]0-i must begin to take care of [my]0-i practice for [that lad yonder]4058-that lad yonder . Well - a - day ! well - a - day ! What was [this sick fine gentleman]4059-this sick fine gentleman sent [here]4172-here for , that [she]4058-that lad yonder should run a chance of [her]4058-that lad yonder life for [him]4055-this fellow ? or why was [he]4055-this fellow sent into [the world]506-the world at all , for that matter ? " Indeed , however much [Mr Davis]275-mr davis might labour with all [his]275-mr davis professional skill -- however much [they]6778-they might all watch -- and pray -- and weep -- it was but too evident that [Ruth]81-ruth "[4127-mother] [home]4124-home must go , and take [her]4058-that lad yonder wages . " Poor , poor [Ruth]81-ruth ! It might be that , utterly exhausted by watching and nursing , first in [the hospital]3843-the hospital , and then by the bedside of [[her]81-ruth former lover]6780-her former lover , the power of [her]81-ruth constitution was worn out ; or , it might be , [her]81-ruth gentle , pliant sweetness , but [she]81-ruth displayed no outrage or discord even in [her]81-ruth delirium . There [she]81-ruth lay in [the attic]6781-the attic - room in which [[her]81-ruth baby]4737-her baby had been born , [her]81-ruth watch over [him]4737-her baby kept , [her]81-ruth confession to [him]4737-her baby made ; and now [she]81-ruth was stretched on the bed in utter helplessness , softly gazing at vacancy with [her]81-ruth open , unconscious eyes , from which all the depth of their meaning had fled , and all [they]6783-they told was of a sweet , child - like insanity within . [The watchers]1237-the watchers could not touch [her]81-ruth with [their]1237-the watchers sympathy , or come near [her]81-ruth in [her]81-ruth dim world;--so , mutely , but looking at [each other]579-each other from time to time with tearful eyes , [they]1237-the watchers took a poor comfort from the one evident fact that , though lost and gone astray , [she]81-ruth was happy and at peace . [They]1237-the watchers had never heard [her]81-ruth sing ; indeed , the simple art which [[her]81-ruth mother]710-her mother had taught [her]81-ruth , had died , with [her]81-ruth early joyousness , at [that dear mother]6787-that dear mother 's death . But now [she]81-ruth sang continually , very soft and low . [She]81-ruth went from one childish ditty to another without let or pause , keeping a strange sort of time with [her]81-ruth pretty fingers , as they closed and unclosed themselves upon the counterpane . [She]81-ruth never looked at [any one]425-any one with the slightest glimpse of memory or intelligence in [her]81-ruth face ; no , not even at [Leonard]104-leonard . [Her]81-ruth strength faded day by day ; but [she]81-ruth knew it not . [Her]81-ruth sweet lips were parted to sing , even after the breath and the power to do so had left [her]81-ruth , and [her]81-ruth fingers fell idly on the bed . Two days [she]81-ruth lingered thus -- all but gone from [them]6789-they , and yet still there . [They]6789-they stood around [her]81-ruth bedside , not speaking , or sighing , or moaning ; [they]6789-they were too much awed by the exquisite peacefulness of [her]81-ruth look for that . Suddenly [she]81-ruth opened wide [her]81-ruth eyes , and gazed intently forwards , as if [she]81-ruth saw some happy vision , which called out a lovely , rapturous , breathless smile . [They]6789-they held [their]6789-they very breaths . "[0-i] [I]0-i see the Light coming , " said [she]81-ruth . "[0-i] The Light is coming , " [she]81-ruth said . And , raising [herself]81-ruth slowly , [she]81-ruth stretched out [her]81-ruth arms , and then fell back , very still for evermore . [They]6789-they did not speak . [Mr Davis]275-mr davis was the first to utter a word . "[0-i] It is over ! " said [he]275-mr davis . "[4063-her] [She]4063-her is dead ! " Out rang through [the room]357-the room the cry of [Leonard]104-leonard : "[4127-mother] [Mother]4127-mother ! [mother]4127-mother ! [mother]4127-mother ! [You]4127-mother have not left [me]0-i alone ! [You]4127-mother will not leave [me]0-i alone ! [You]4127-mother are not dead ! [Mother]4127-mother ! [Mother]4127-mother ! " [They]6789-they had pent in [his]275-mr davis agony of apprehension till then , that no wail of [[her]4063-her child]631-her child might disturb [her]4063-her ineffable calm . But now there was a cry heard through [the house]426-the house , of one refusing to be comforted : "[4127-mother] [Mother]4127-mother ! [Mother]139-mother ! " But [Ruth]81-ruth lay dead . CHAPTER XXXVI The End A stupor of grief succeeded to [Leonard]104-leonard 's passionate cries . [He]104-leonard became so much depressed , physically as well as mentally , before the end of the day , that [Mr Davis]275-mr davis was seriously alarmed for the consequences . [He]275-mr davis hailed with gladness a proposal made by [the Farquhars]216-mr farquhars , that [the boy]4189-the boy should be removed to [[their]6789-they house]2740-their house , and placed under the fond care of [[[his]4189-the boy mother]655-his mother 's friend , who sent [[her]4063-her own child]2637-her own child to [Abermouth]50-abermouth]6796-his mother 's friend , who sent her own child to abermouth the better to devote [herself]4063-her to [Leonard]104-leonard . When [they]6789-they told [him]104-leonard of this arrangement , [he]104-leonard at first refused to go and leave _ [her]4070-her _ ; but when [Mr Benson]143-mr benson said : "[4070-her] _ [She]4070-her _ would have wished it , [Leonard]104-leonard ! Do it for [her]4070-her sake ! " [he]104-leonard went away very quietly ; not speaking a word , after [Mr Benson]143-mr benson had made the voluntary promise that [he]104-leonard should see [her]4070-her once again . [He]104-leonard neither spoke nor cried for many hours ; and all [Jemima]217-jemima 's delicate wiles were called forth , before [his]104-leonard heavy heart could find the relief of tears . And then [he]104-leonard was so weak , and [his]104-leonard pulse so low , that all who loved [him]104-leonard feared for [his]104-leonard life . Anxiety about [him]104-leonard made a sad distraction from the sorrow for the dead . [The three old people]6798-the three old people , who now formed [the household in [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house]6799-the household in the chapel - house , went about slowly and dreamily , each with a dull wonder at [their]6798-the three old people hearts why [they]6798-the three old people , [the infirm and worn - out]6801-the infirm and worn - out , were left , while [she]4070-her was taken in [her]4070-her lovely prime . The third day after [Ruth]81-ruth 's death , [a gentleman]1084-a gentleman came to the door and asked to speak to [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . [He]104-leonard was very much wrapped up in furs and cloaks , and the upper , exposed part of [his]104-leonard face was sunk and hollow , like that of [one but partially recovered from illness]6803-one but partially recovered from illness . [Mr]6804-mr and [Miss Benson]143-mr benson were at [[Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar 's]3678-mr farquhar 's , gone to see [Leonard]104-leonard , and [poor old Sally]148-sally had been having a hearty cry over the kitchen fire before answering the door - knock . [Her]148-sally heart was tenderly inclined just then towards [any one who had the aspect of suffering]6806-any one who had the aspect of suffering ; so , although [[her]148-sally master]1699-her master was out , and [she]148-sally was usually chary of admitting [strangers]5548-strangers , [she]148-sally proposed to [Mr Donne]225-mr donne ( for it was [he]225-mr donne ) that [he]225-mr donne should come in and await [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's return in [the study]1738-the study . [He]143-mr benson was glad enough to avail [himself]143-mr benson of [her]148-sally offer ; for [he]143-mr benson was feeble and nervous , and come on a piece of business which [he]143-mr benson exceedingly disliked , and about which [he]143-mr benson felt very awkward . The fire was nearly , if not quite , out ; nor did [Sally]148-sally 's vigorous blows do much good , although [she]148-sally left [the room]357-the room with an assurance that it would soon burn up . [He]143-mr benson leant against the chimney - piece , thinking over events , and with a sensation of discomfort , both external and internal , growing and gathering upon [him]143-mr benson . [He]143-mr benson almost wondered whether the proposal [he]143-mr benson meant to make with regard to [Leonard]104-leonard could not be better arranged by letter than by an interview . [He]143-mr benson became very shivery , and impatient of the state of indecision to which [his]143-mr benson bodily weakness had reduced [him]143-mr benson . [Sally]148-sally opened the door and came in . "[4070-her] Would [you]4071-you like to walk [upstairs]1186-upstairs , [sir]4181-sir ? " asked [she]148-sally , in a trembling voice , for [she]148-sally had learnt who [the visitor]6811-the visitor was from [the driver of the fly , who had run up to [the house]426-the house to inquire what was detaining [the gentleman that [he]4181-sir had brought from [the Queen 's Hotel]6735-the queen 's hotel]6814-the gentleman that he had brought from the queen 's hotel]6812-the driver of the fly , who had run up to the house to inquire what was detaining the gentleman that he had brought from the queen 's hotel ; and , knowing that [Ruth]81-ruth had caught the fatal fever from [her]81-ruth attendance on [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , [Sally]148-sally imagined that it was but a piece of sad civility to invite [him]4071-you [upstairs]1186-upstairs to see the poor dead body , which [she]148-sally had laid out and decked for the grave , with such fond care that [she]148-sally had grown strangely proud of its marble beauty . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was glad enough of any proposal of a change from [the cold and comfortless room where [he]225-mr donne had thought uneasy , remorseful thoughts]6817-the cold and comfortless room where he had thought uneasy , remorseful thoughts . [He]225-mr donne fancied that a change of place would banish the train of reflection that was troubling [him]225-mr donne ; but the change [he]225-mr donne anticipated was to [a well - warmed , cheerful sitting - room , with signs of life , and a bright fire therein]6818-a well - warmed , cheerful sitting - room , with signs of life , and a bright fire therein ; and [he]225-mr donne was on the last flight of stairs,--at the door of [the room where [Ruth]81-ruth lay]6819-the room where ruth lay -- before [he]225-mr donne understood whither [Sally]148-sally was conducting [him]225-mr donne . [He]225-mr donne shrank back for an instant , and then a strange sting of curiosity impelled [him]225-mr donne on . [He]225-mr donne stood in [the humble low - roofed attic]6820-the humble low - roofed attic , the window open , and the tops of [the distant snow - covered hills]6821-the distant snow - covered hills filling up the whiteness of the general aspect . [He]225-mr donne muffled [himself]225-mr donne up in [his]225-mr donne cloak , and shuddered , while [Sally]148-sally reverently drew down the sheet , and showed the beautiful , calm , still face , on which the last rapturous smile still lingered , giving an ineffable look of bright serenity . [Her]4074-her arms were crossed over [her]4074-her breast ; the wimple - like cap marked the perfect oval of [her]4074-her face , while two braids of the waving auburn hair peeped out of the narrow border , and lay on the delicate cheeks . [He]225-mr donne was awed into admiration by the wonderful beauty of [that dead woman]6822-that dead woman . "[4070-her] How beautiful [she]4074-her is ! " said [he]225-mr donne , beneath [his]225-mr donne breath . "[4070-her] Do [all dead people]4075-all dead people look so peaceful -- so happy ? " "[4070-her] Not all , " replied [Sally]148-sally , crying . "[4070-her] [Few]2104-few has been as good and as gentle as [she]4074-her was in [their]2104-few lives . " [She]148-sally quite shook with [her]148-sally sobbing . [Mr Donne]225-mr donne was disturbed by [her]148-sally distress . "[2104-few] Come , [[my]0-i good woman]4218-my good woman ! [we]4078-we must [all]851-all die-- " [he]0-i did not know what to say , and was becoming infected by [her]148-sally sorrow . "[0-i] [I]0-i am sure [you]4218-my good woman loved [her]4074-her very much , and were very kind to [her]4074-her in [her]4074-her lifetime ; [you]4218-my good woman must take this from [me]0-i to buy [yourself]4218-my good woman some remembrance of [her]4074-her . " [He]0-i had pulled out a sovereign , and really had a kindly desire to console [her]148-sally , and reward [her]148-sally , in offering it to [her]148-sally . But [she]148-sally took [her]148-sally apron from [her]148-sally eyes , as soon as [she]148-sally became aware of what [he]0-i was doing , and , still holding it midway in [her]148-sally hands , [she]148-sally looked at [him]0-i indignantly , before [she]148-sally burst out : "[4218-my good woman] And who are [you]0-i , that think to pay for [my]0-i kindness to [her]4074-her by money ? And [I]0-i was not kind to [you]0-i , [[my]0-i darling]4347-my darling , " said [she]148-sally , passionately addressing [the motionless , serene body--"I]6823-the motionless , serene body--"i[0-i] was not kind to [you]0-i . [I]0-i frabbed [you]0-i , and plagued [you]0-i from the first , [[my]0-i lamb]4081-my lamb ! [I]0-i came and cut off [your]0-i pretty locks in [this very room]4306-this very room -- [I]0-i did -- and [you]0-i said never an angry word to [me;--no]0-i ! not then , nor many a time after , when [I]0-i was very sharp and cross to you.--No ! [I]0-i never was kind to [you]0-i , and [I]0-i dunnot think [the world]506-the world was kind to [you]0-i , [my]0-i darling,--but [you]0-i are gone where [the angels]4084-the angels are very tender to such as [you]0-i -- [you]0-i are , [[my]0-i poor wench]6681-my poor wench ! " [She]6681-my poor wench bent down and kissed the lips , from whose marble , unyielding touch [Mr Donne]225-mr donne recoiled , even in thought . Just then , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson entered [the room]357-the room . [He]143-mr benson had returned [home]4124-home before [[his]143-mr benson sister]4508-his sister , and come [upstairs]1186-upstairs in search of [Sally]148-sally , to whom [he]143-mr benson wanted to speak on some subject relating to the funeral . [He]143-mr benson bowed in recognition of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , whom [he]143-mr benson knew as [the member for [the town]396-the town]6828-the member for the town , and whose presence impressed [him]143-mr benson painfully , as [his]225-mr donne illness had been the proximate cause of [Ruth]81-ruth 's death . But [he]143-mr benson tried to check this feeling , as it was no fault of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's . [Sally]148-sally stole out of [the room]357-the room , to cry at leisure in [[her]148-sally kitchen]1778-her kitchen . "[0-i] [I]0-i must apologise for being [here]4172-here , " said [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . "[0-i] [I]0-i was hardly conscious where [[your]0-i servant]4087-your servant was leading [me]0-i to , when [she]4087-your servant expressed [her]4087-your servant wish that [I]0-i should walk [upstairs]1186-upstairs . " "[4087-your servant] It is a very common idea in [this town]4089-this town , that it is a gratification to be asked to take a last look at the dead , " replied [Mr Benson]143-mr benson . "[4087-your servant] And in this case [I]0-i am glad to have seen [her]4087-your servant once more , " said [Mr Donne]225-mr donne . "[4087-your servant] [Poor Ruth]81-ruth ! " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson glanced up at [him]225-mr donne at the last word . How did [he]143-mr benson know [her]4087-your servant name ? To [him]143-mr benson [she]4087-your servant had only been [Mrs Denbigh]156-mrs denbigh . But [Mr Donne]225-mr donne had no idea that [he]225-mr donne was talking to one unaware of the connexion that had formerly existed between [them]6832-them ; and , though [he]225-mr donne would have preferred carrying on the conversation in [a warmer room]6833-a warmer room , yet , as [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was still gazing at [her]4087-your servant with sad , lingering love , [he]143-mr benson went on : "[81-ruth] [I]0-i did not recognise [her]4087-your servant when [she]4087-your servant came to nurse [me]0-i ; [I]0-i believe [I]0-i was delirious . [[My]0-i servant]4090-my servant , who had known [her]4087-your servant long ago , in [Fordham]27-fordham , told [me]0-i who [she]4087-your servant was . [I]0-i can not tell how [I]0-i regret that [she]4087-your servant should have died in consequence of [her]4087-your servant love of [me]0-i . " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson looked up at [him]143-mr benson again , a stern light filling [his]0-i eyes as [he]0-i did so . [He]143-mr benson waited impatiently to hear more , either to quench or confirm [his]143-mr benson suspicions . If [she]4087-your servant had not been lying there , very still and calm , [he]143-mr benson would have forced the words out of [Mr Donne]225-mr donne , by some abrupt question . As it was , [he]143-mr benson listened silently , [his]143-mr benson heart quick - beating . "[0-i] [I]0-i know that money is but a poor compensation,--is no remedy for this event , or for [my]0-i youthful folly . " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson set [his]143-mr benson teeth hard together , to keep in words little short of a curse . "[0-i] Indeed , [I]0-i offered [her]4087-your servant money to almost any amount before;--do [me]0-i justice , [sir]4181-sir , " catching the gleam of indignation on [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's face ; "[0-i] [I]0-i offered to marry [her]4087-your servant , and provide for [the boy]4189-the boy as if [he]4189-the boy had been legitimate . It 's of no use recurring to that time , " said [he]0-i , [his]0-i voice faltering ; "[0-i] what is done can not be undone . But [I]0-i came now to say , that [I]0-i should be glad to leave [the boy]4189-the boy still under [your]4181-sir charge , and that every expense [you]4181-sir think it right to incur in [his]4189-the boy education [I]0-i will defray;--and place a sum of money in trust for [him]4189-the boy -- say , two thousand pounds -- or more : fix what [you]4181-sir will . Of course , if [you]4181-sir decline retaining [him]4189-the boy , [I]0-i must find [some one else]4229-some one else ; but the provision for [him]4189-the boy shall be the same , for [my]0-i poor [Ruth]81-ruth 's sake . " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson did not speak . [He]143-mr benson could not , till [he]143-mr benson had gathered some peace from looking at the ineffable repose of [the Dead]285-the dead . Then , before [he]143-mr benson answered , [he]143-mr benson covered up [her]4097-her face ; and in [his]143-mr benson voice there was the stillness of ice . "[81-ruth] [Leonard]104-leonard is not unprovided for . [Those that honoured [[his]104-leonard mother]655-his mother]4095-those that honoured his mother will take care of [him]104-leonard . [He]104-leonard shall never touch a penny of [your]4097-her money . Every offer of service [you]4097-her have made , [I]0-i reject in [his]104-leonard name,--and in [her]655-his mother presence , " said [he]0-i , bending towards [the Dead]285-the dead . "[0-i] [Men]836-men may call such actions as [yours]4097-her , [youthful follies]4099-youthful follies ! There is another name for [them]836-men with [God]104-leonard . [Sir]4181-sir ! [I]0-i will follow [you]4181-sir [downstairs]4556-downstairs . " All the way down , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson heard [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's voice urging and entreating , but the words [he]143-mr benson could not recognise for the thoughts that filled [his]143-mr benson brain -- the rapid putting together of events that was going on there . And when [Mr Donne]225-mr donne turned at the door , to speak again , and repeat [his]225-mr donne offers of service to [Leonard]104-leonard , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson made answer , without well knowing whether the answer fitted the question or not : "[0-i] [I]0-i thank [God]104-leonard , [you]4181-sir have no right , legal or otherwise , over [the child]565-the child . And for [her]565-the child sake , [I]0-i will spare [him]565-the child the shame of ever hearing [your]4181-sir name as [[his]565-the child father]658-his father . " [He]143-mr benson shut the door in [Mr Donne]225-mr donne 's face . "[4104-an ill - bred , puritanical old fellow] [An ill - bred , puritanical old fellow]4104-an ill - bred , puritanical old fellow ! [He]565-the child may have [the boy]4189-the boy , [I]0-i am sure , for aught [I]0-i care . [I]0-i have done [my]0-i duty , and will get out of this abominable place as soon as [I]0-i can . [I]0-i wish [my]0-i last remembrance of [my]0-i beautiful [Ruth]81-ruth was not mixed up with [all these people]4106-all these people . " [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was bitterly oppressed with this interview ; it disturbed the peace with which [he]143-mr benson was beginning to contemplate events . [His]143-mr benson anger ruffled [him]143-mr benson , although such anger had been just , and such indignation well deserved ; and both had been unconsciously present in [his]143-mr benson heart for years against [the unknown seducer , whom [he]143-mr benson met face to face by the death - bed of [Ruth]81-ruth]6834-the unknown seducer , whom he met face to face by the death - bed of ruth . It gave [him]143-mr benson a shock which [he]143-mr benson did not recover from for many days . [He]143-mr benson was nervously afraid lest [Mr Donne]225-mr donne should appear at the funeral ; and not all the reasons [he]143-mr benson alleged to [himself]143-mr benson against this apprehension , put it utterly away from [him]143-mr benson . Before then , however , [he]143-mr benson heard casually ( for [he]143-mr benson would allow [himself]143-mr benson no inquiries ) that [he]143-mr benson had left [the town]396-the town . No ! [Ruth]81-ruth 's funeral passed over in calm and simple solemnity . [[Her]81-ruth child]631-her child , [[her]81-ruth own household]6636-her own household , [[her]81-ruth friend]431-her friend , and [Mr Farquhar]193-mr farquhar , quietly walked after the bier , which was borne by [some of [the poor to whom [she]81-ruth had been very kind in [her]81-ruth lifetime]6840-the poor to whom she had been very kind in her lifetime]6839-some of the poor to whom she had been very kind in her lifetime . And [many others]6841-many others stood aloof in [the little burying - ground]6842-the little burying - ground , sadly watching that last ceremony . [They]6841-many others slowly dispersed ; [Mr Benson]143-mr benson leading [Leonard]104-leonard by the hand , and secretly wondering at [his]104-leonard self - restraint . Almost as soon as [they]6841-many others had let [themselves]6841-many others into [the Chapel - house]2563-the chapel - house , [a messenger]6844-a messenger brought a note from [Mrs Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw , with a pot of quince marmalade , which , [she]151-mrs bradshaw said to [Miss Benson]143-mr benson , [she]151-mrs bradshaw thought that [Leonard]104-leonard might fancy , and if [he]104-leonard did , [they]6841-many others were to be sure and let [her]151-mrs bradshaw know , as [she]151-mrs bradshaw had plenty more ; or , was there anything else that [he]104-leonard would like ? [She]151-mrs bradshaw would gladly make [him]104-leonard whatever [he]104-leonard fancied . [Poor Leonard]286-poor leonard ! [he]104-leonard lay stretched on the sofa , white and tearless , beyond the power of any such comfort , however kindly offered ; but this was only one of the many homely , simple attentions , which all came round [him]104-leonard to offer , from [Mr Grey]280-mr grey , [the rector]3933-the rector , down to [the nameless poor who called at the back door to inquire how it fared with _ [[her]151-mrs bradshaw _ child]6847-her _ child]6846-the nameless poor who called at the back door to inquire how it fared with _ her _ child . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson was anxious , according to Dissenting custom , to preach an appropriate funeral sermon . It was the last office [he]143-mr benson could render to [her]151-mrs bradshaw ; it should be done well and carefully . Moreover , it was possible that the circumstances of [her]151-mrs bradshaw life , which were known to [all]851-all , might be made effective in this manner to work conviction of many truths . Accordingly , [he]143-mr benson made great preparation of thought and paper ; [he]143-mr benson laboured hard , destroying sheet after sheet -- [his]143-mr benson eyes filling with tears between - whiles , as [he]143-mr benson remembered some fresh proof of the humility and sweetness of [her]151-mrs bradshaw life . Oh , that [he]143-mr benson could do [her]151-mrs bradshaw justice ! but words seemed hard and inflexible , and refused to fit themselves to [his]143-mr benson ideas . [He]143-mr benson sat late on Saturday , writing ; [he]143-mr benson watched through the night till Sunday morning was far advanced . [He]143-mr benson had never taken such pains with any sermon , and [he]143-mr benson was only half satisfied with it after all . [Mrs Farquhar]266-mrs farquhar had comforted the bitterness of [Sally]148-sally 's grief by giving [her]151-mrs bradshaw very handsome mourning . At any rate , [she]151-mrs bradshaw felt oddly proud and exulting when [she]151-mrs bradshaw thought of [her]151-mrs bradshaw new black gown ; but when [she]151-mrs bradshaw remembered why [she]151-mrs bradshaw wore it , [she]151-mrs bradshaw scolded [herself]151-mrs bradshaw pretty sharply for [her]151-mrs bradshaw satisfaction , and took to crying afresh with redoubled vigour . [She]151-mrs bradshaw spent the Sunday morning in alternately smoothing down [her]151-mrs bradshaw skirts and adjusting [her]151-mrs bradshaw broad hemmed collar , or bemoaning the occasion with tearful earnestness . But the sorrow overcame the little quaint vanity of [her]151-mrs bradshaw heart , as [she]151-mrs bradshaw saw troop after troop of [humbly - dressed mourners]6849-humbly - dressed mourners pass by into [the old chapel]6850-the old chapel . [They]6851-they were very poor -- but each had mounted some rusty piece of crape , or some faded black ribbon . [The old]6852-the old came halting and slow -- [the mothers]6853-the mothers carried [[their]6853-the mothers quiet , awe - struck babes]6854-their quiet , awe - struck babes . And not only these were there -- but [others]368-others -- equally unaccustomed to nonconformist worship : [Mr Davis]275-mr davis , for instance , to whom [Sally]148-sally acted as [chaperone]6856-chaperone ; for [he]275-mr davis sat in [[the minister]1835-the minister 's pew]6858-the minister 's pew , as [a stranger]2130-a stranger ; and , as [she]148-sally afterwards said , [she]148-sally had a fellow - feeling with [him]275-mr davis , being [a Church - woman]6860-a church - woman [herself]148-sally , and [Dissenters]5003-dissenters had such awkward ways ; however , [she]148-sally had been [there]332-there before , so [she]148-sally could set [him]275-mr davis to rights about [their]6863-their fashions . From the pulpit , [Mr Benson]143-mr benson saw [one and all]6864-one and all -- [the well - filled [Bradshaw]151-mrs bradshaw pew]6865-the well - filled bradshaw pew -- all in deep mourning , [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw conspicuously so ( [he]149-mr bradshaw would have attended the funeral gladly if [they]6866-they would have asked [him)--the]6867-him)--the [Farquhars]216-mr farquhars -- [the many strangers]6868-the many strangers -- the still more numerous poor -- one or two wild - looking outcasts , who stood afar off , but wept silently and continually . [Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's heart grew very full . [His]143-mr benson voice trembled as [he]143-mr benson read and prayed . But [he]143-mr benson steadied it as [he]143-mr benson opened [his]143-mr benson sermon -- [his]143-mr benson great , last effort in [her]148-sally honour -- the labour that [he]143-mr benson had prayed [God]104-leonard to bless to the hearts of [many]652-many . For an instant [the old man]879-the old man looked on all the upturned faces , listening , with wet eyes , to hear what [he]143-mr benson could say to interpret that which was in [their]6866-they hearts , dumb and unshaped , of [God]104-leonard 's doings as shown in [her]148-sally life . [He]143-mr benson looked , and , as [he]143-mr benson gazed , a mist came before [him]143-mr benson , and [he]143-mr benson could not see [his]143-mr benson sermon , nor [[his]143-mr benson hearers]6871-his hearers , but only [Ruth]81-ruth , as [she]81-ruth had been -- stricken low , and crouching from sight , in [the upland field]6872-the upland field by [Llan - dhu]31-llan - dhu -- like a woeful , hunted creature . And now [her]81-ruth life was over ! [her]81-ruth struggle ended ! Sermon and all was forgotten . [He]143-mr benson sat down , and hid [his]143-mr benson face in [his]143-mr benson hands for a minute or so . Then [he]143-mr benson arose , pale and serene . [He]143-mr benson put the sermon away , and opened the Bible , and read the seventh chapter of Revelations , beginning at the ninth verse . Before it was finished , [most of [[his]143-mr benson hearers]6871-his hearers]6873-most of his hearers were in tears . It came home to [them]6873-most of his hearers as more appropriate than any sermon could have been . Even [Sally]148-sally , though full of anxiety as to what [[her]148-sally fellow - Churchman]6875-her fellow - churchman would think of such proceedings , let the sobs come freely as [she]148-sally heard the words : And [he]143-mr benson said to [me]4107-me , These are they which came out of great tribulation , and have washed [their]6873-most of his hearers robes , and made them white in the blood of [the Lamb]6876-the lamb . Therefore are [they]6873-most of his hearers before the throne of [God]104-leonard , and serve [him]143-mr benson day and night in [[his]143-mr benson temple]6877-his temple ; and [he]143-mr benson that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among [them]6873-most of his hearers . [They]6873-most of his hearers shall hunger no more , neither thirst any more ; neither shall the sun light on [them]6873-most of his hearers , nor any heat . For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed [them]6873-most of his hearers , and shall lead [them]6873-most of his hearers unto living fountains of waters , and [God]104-leonard shall wipe away all tears from [their]6873-most of his hearers eyes . "[4107-me] [He]4107-me preaches sermons sometimes , " said [Sally]148-sally , nudging [Mr Davis]275-mr davis , as [they]4108-they rose from [their]4108-they knees at last . "[4107-me] [I]0-i make no doubt there was as grand a sermon in yon paper - book as ever [we]4108-they hear in [church]4207-church . [I]0-i 've heard [him]4107-me pray uncommon fine -- quite beyond any but [learned folk]4110-learned folk . " [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw had been anxious to do something to testify [his]149-mr bradshaw respect for [the woman]5598-the woman , who , if all had entertained [his]149-mr bradshaw opinions , would have been driven into hopeless sin . Accordingly , [he]149-mr bradshaw ordered [the first stonemason of [the town]396-the town]6879-the first stonemason of the town to meet [him]149-mr bradshaw in [the chapel - yard]1924-the chapel - yard on Monday morning , to take measurement and receive directions for a tombstone . [They]4108-they threaded [their]4108-they way among the grassy heaps to where [Ruth]81-ruth was buried , in the south corner , beneath [the great Wych - elm]6882-the great wych - elm . When [they]4108-they got there , [Leonard]104-leonard raised [himself]104-leonard up from the new - stirred turf . [His]104-leonard face was swollen with weeping ; but when [he]104-leonard saw [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw [he]104-leonard calmed [himself]104-leonard , and checked [his]104-leonard sobs , and , as an explanation of being where [he]104-leonard was when thus surprised , [he]104-leonard could find nothing to say but the simple words : "[4107-me] [[My]0-i mother]4247-my mother is dead , [sir]4181-sir . " [His]104-leonard eyes sought those of [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw with a wild look of agony , as if to find comfort for that great loss in human sympathy ; and at the first word -- the first touch of [Mr Bradshaw]149-mr bradshaw 's hand on [his]104-leonard shoulder -- [he]104-leonard burst out afresh . "[4107-me] Come , come ! [[my]0-i boy!--Mr [Francis]287-francis]4113-my boy!--mr francis , [I]0-i will see [you]287-francis about this to - morrow -- [I]0-i will call at [your]287-francis house.--Let [me]0-i take [you]287-francis [home]4124-home , [[my]0-i poor fellow]4115-my poor fellow . Come , [[my]0-i lad]5207-my lad , come ! " The first time , for years , that [he]4181-sir had entered [[Mr Benson]143-mr benson 's house]1693-mr benson 's house , [he]4181-sir came leading and comforting [[her]4118-her son]990-her son -- and , for a moment , [he]4181-sir could not speak to [[his]4181-sir old friend]4120-his old friend , for the sympathy which choked up [his]4181-sir voice , and filled [his]4181-sir eyes with tears . * * *